Waiting for the Moon to Rise
by Komaki Nakao
Summary: Violet Carroll is ready to put her life back together after a troubling year. But will her feelings for her new Professor get in the way of her progress? And how will she react when she finds out his secret? PA and beyond.
1. Chapter 1

"Thanks for coming with me, Professor Flitwick," I said as I walked down the seemingly endless hallway with the petite man. I had to make an effort to walk slowly; one of my strides easily equaled three of his. "I really appreciate it."

"It's no trouble at all!" He said, smiling up at me. "I wouldn't go through all the trouble if I didn't honestly think you deserve a second chance, Violet."

"Yeah…" I said nervously, knowing that I really didn't deserve a second chance. It had been decades since a Ravenclaw had failed a class. No one had ever heard of a Ravenclaw failing _four_. Professor Binns had been kind enough to allow me to continue History of Magic at the N.E.W.T. level – probably because I actually _listened_ to his lectures – but Professor Sprout and Professor Vector hadn't been quite so kind. Oh well, Herbology and Arithmancy were never my favorite topics, anyway.

"You're going to have to sound a _little_ more confident if you want to convince Professor Lupin to allow you into his class," said Professor Flitwick, wagging his stubby finger at me. "Unlike the other teachers, Professor Lupin hasn't seen you in action; he has no past experience to base his decision on."

"So far, that hasn't done me much good," I mumbled helplessly.

"Oh, cheer up, Violet," he said, beginning to get frustrated with me. "You're one of my brightest students. Now, I taught Professor Lupin _myself_, and I know that he happens to be a very reasonable man. I'm sure he'll be willing to give you a second chance; _if you'd quit moping_!"

I nodded, straightening my blue and silver tie, "Right. I am confident. I am overflowing with self-assurance and poise!"

"Good," Flitwick said, smiling and nodding. "You almost convinced _me_ there for a second."

"… Thanks, Professor," I said, once again feeling deflated. "Your confidence in me is very inspiring."

"Ah, well," he said, pausing to straighten his collar. "I always do my best to support my students. Ah, here, Professor Lupin's office… Well, aren't you going to knock?"

I sighed, feeling my heart leap up into my throat as I knocked on the door. At least when I went begging to the other Professors, I knew what I was getting myself in to. But this was different. I'd never even met this man before. I hated not knowing what to expect.

Oh well. I'd already lost the respect of all my other Professors and my peers. What's one more person?

"Who is it?" a voice called from inside. He sounded hoarse, as if his vocal chords had suffered years of abuse.

I was thankful when Professor Flitwick answered, "It's me, Professor Flitwick. I'm here with the student I mentioned earlier."

Suddenly, the office door flung open, revealing Professor R. J. Lupin. I had caught a glimpse of him at dinner, but up close he looked very different; much older and shabbier. His light brown hair was already beginning to fade; his mustache slightly more than the hair on his head. His face was aging as well, though perhaps not as quickly; I could still see a glimmer of boyish mischief in his dull blue eyes. His brown tweed suit was covered with patches, and his shoes looked like they would crumble to pieces if he took another step.

"Ah, well," he said, sounding about as awkward as I felt. "Please, do come in… Valerie, wasn't it?"

"Violet," I corrected, walking past him. "Violet Carroll."

"Violet Carroll," he repeated, as if he was committing the name to memory. "Right, please take a seat. Would either of you like something to drink?"

"No, we're quite alright," Flitwick said, struggling to get into the chair. I looked around the office while he got situated. The room was almost completely empty, but there were several boxes that remained unpacked. The new professor probably hadn't had time to finish settling in.

"So, Miss Carroll," Professor Lupin said, folding his hands together on top of his desk. "What is it you wanted to speak to me about?"

"Well, last year, I…" my throat closed up, and my cheeks felt as if they were on fire. I hated having to explain what happened. It was so embarrassing.

"Last year," Flitwick continued for me, "Violet, who in the past has always been a brilliant student, failed several of her classes, including Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Mhm…" Lupin nodded, looking at me curiously. I continued to stare at my feet, as if plain black shoes were the most interesting things I had ever seen. I just couldn't force myself to make eye contact; I was so ashamed of myself. "N.E.W.T. level classes are far more difficult. I glanced at those records you gave me, Flitwick, and it seemed that her schedule was very rigorous. Perhaps the course load was too much for you, Miss Carroll?"

"Oh no, believe me, that was not the problem," said Professor Flitwick, laughing off the question. "I'm sure you heard about the events that transpired last school year, have you not?"

Lupin nodded, "Yes, who hasn't?"

_I hate it when adults talk about you like you can't hear them,_ I thought, playing with a loose thread on my skirt. _But if Flitwick wants to do all the talking for me, I'm not going to complain._

"Poor Violet, she was frightened out of her mind," Flitwick continued. "She hardly ate or slept. Wouldn't you be frightened as well – _especially_ if you were a muggle born, like Violet? I'm certain if it weren't for what happened, she would still be at the top of her class, maybe even head girl-"

"Thank you, Professor Flitwick," Lupin sighed. I was thankful; I was sick of hearing that story. Living it was bad enough. "Could I please speak with Miss Carroll alone?"

"A-alone?" Flitwick stuttered, as if it were the most absurd thing he had ever heard. He wore the expression of a new mother, who had just been asked to leave her child in the hands of a stranger.

"Yes, alone," he repeated. "Not that I don't enjoy chatting with you, but I'd much rather hear what Miss Carroll has to say about all this."

"Oh," Professor Flitwick said, his lack of confidence very apparent. He slid out of the chair rather easily – such a shame he wasted all that effort getting into it – and headed towards the door. "Of course. By all means."

"Wait!" I called after him, but it was too late. The door was shut. Professor Flitwick was gone, leaving me at Professor Lupin's mercy.

Lupin chuckled, "He's so talkative."

"Y-yeah…" I said absently, turning around slowly. I hadn't intended for Flitwick to do _all_ the talking for me, I merely wanted him there for moral support. Now, I was on my own, and that terrified me.

"So, Miss Carroll," Professor Lupin continued, rising from his chair to pace around his office. "_You_ tell me. What brings you to my office this evening?"

I gulped, "Well, sir, I was hoping that you would allow me to continue Defense Against the Dark Arts at the N.E.W.T. level, even though I failed last term."

"Hmm, interesting," he said, as if it was the first time he had heard this bit of information. "Why should you be allowed to continue the subject, in that case?"

"Well, do to unfortunate circumstances-"

"What sort of unfortunate circumstances?" he asked.

I blinked, not in the mood for jokes or sarcasm, "Um, there was a monster lose in the school, and I thought it was going to kill me…"

"Ah, yes," he said, sitting down on the edge of his desk, chuckling. "I had forgotten."

"It isn't funny," I scowled. "I failed four of my classes because I was so freaked out!" I felt my hands tremble just thinking about it. "I c-couldn't even _go_ to class half the time; I was too afraid to even walk down the hallway!"

"I'm sorry," he apologized. He lifted his arm, as if he intended to comfort me in some way, but then lowered it awkwardly. "I didn't realize it was such a big ordeal for you."

"Well, it was," I said darkly. "So, if you'll excuse me-"

"No, please stay seated," he said, returning to his desk chair. "Before the last term, your marks are very impressive, Miss Carroll. And I don't think Professor Flitwick would be so adamant about you if you weren't truly brilliant. That really speaks to your character. I suppose I could give you another chance."

"I don't want your pity," I said, crossing my arms. "If you're just letting me come back because you feel sorry for me-"

"Trust me, that is not the case," Lupin assured me. "You won't be getting off so easily…"

_Oh no…_ I thought. _I smell extra coursework…_

"To prove that you're serious about my class, you will do some extra coursework; to help you catch up."

_I knew it._

"Let's see…" he said, rummaging through the stack of papers on his desk. "You're a seventh year… Alright," he said, looking back up at me. "From now on, you will spend your Thursday evenings here with me, until you're back on track."

"Every Thursday?" I repeated, feeling exhausted already.

"Do you want this or not, Miss Carroll?" he pressed, leaning across the desk.

"Yes," I groaned.

He smiled, looking very pleased with himself, "Alright. It has been a pleasure meeting you. I look forward to seeing you in my class tomorrow morning."


	2. Chapter 2

The halls were all empty as I made my way back to the Ravenclaw dormitories. It had been a long, humbling evening, and I was ready for bed. I was relieved to see the beautiful eagle statue that marked the entrance to the common room.

"You can hold me without using your hands," the statue informed me. "What am I?"

"Can't you let me through, just this once?" I asked desperately. "I'm very tired."

"You can hold me without using your hands," the eagle repeated, sounding a little irritated with me. "What am I?"

I sighed, which was all it took to get my brain to tick, "Oh! My breath! I can hold my breath without using my hands!"

As usual, the statue was unimpressed, but at least the door to the common room was opened, and I was allowed access. I heard the door shut behind me as I collapsed into my favorite blue chair and closed my eyes.

"So, how did it go?" Aria, one of my few remaining friends, asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it," I muttered. "What are you doing up, anyway?"

"I've been waiting for you," she explained. "I want to know what happened. Come on Violet… You know you wanna tell me…"

I opened one of my eyes, looking at my friend. Aria had long, blond hair and beautiful green eyes. Before last year, we were merely acquaintances. I preferred to spend my time with students who studied, and took pride in their academic careers, as opposed to students like Aria, who were content to just scoot by with average marks they could achieve without much practice. But as my grades dropped further and further, my old friends grew tired of me. Once I lost my Prefect status, being seen with me was somewhat scandalous. Thank goodness for people like Aria; who could care less about what other people think, and even enjoy being gossiped about. Once I got to know her, I found that I liked her quite a bit.

"Meh, it could have been worse I guess," I said, closing my eye. "Binns seemed happy to have me back. Professor Sprout gave me a polite no, and Professor Vector just flat-out laughed at me."

"Ah, screw them," Aria said, moving to sit on the couch next to me. "What about that new guy… What's-his-face? What's he like?"

I groaned, "He's letting me back into the class, but I have to go in every Thursday for extra tutoring until he thinks I'm up to par with the rest of you guys."

She chuckled, "So, like, probation or something? That's lame."

"Tell me about it," I grumbled, standing up to stretch. "I'm going to bed. You coming?"

"Naw," she shook her head. "I'm about half way through this really good book-"

I rolled my eyes, "Smutty manga doesn't count as a book, you know."

"Anyway, I'll be up later," she said, grinning as she picked her comic up and began reading.

"I don't understand how you can read that crap…" I said, more to myself than to Aria as I climbed the stairs to my room. As usual, my trunk was waiting for me. I quickly and quietly changed into my PJs, slipped into my warm bed, and fell asleep.

The next morning, I left the Great Hall early so I could be the first one to class. I did it more out of habit than necessity; after my so-called "fall from grace", Flitwick was the only professor who still held me to higher standards. Aria begged me to stay and chat with her a bit longer, but I felt uncomfortable not following my usual pattern.

The Defense Against the Dark Arts room was empty when I arrived, except for a large trunk in the front of the room that rattled every few moments.

"This is early even for me," I said quietly to myself, finding a desk that was close to the front. The old me would have jumped at the chance to get a front row seat, but these days I tried to avoid too much attention. Yup, I was perfectly content to fade into the background for the rest of my time at Hogwarts. I no longer cared about being the teacher's favorite. Once I got settled into my desk, I pulled my newest book out of my bag and started reading.

A few moments later, the office door opened, revealing Professor Lupin I peeked over the edge of my book and watched him walk halfway across the room before he noticed me. He looked at me curiously for a few moments before he spoke, "Miss Carroll?"

I lowered my book, trying my best to pretend that I hadn't been watching him, "Hmmm?"

"If you think you can suck up to me by showing up to class early-"

"I'm not trying to suck up," I assured him. "I always get to class early. I usually review notes, or sometimes I read."

"Ah, now that's refreshing to hear," he said, smiling at me. He had such a beautiful, whimsical smile. "Young people never read anymore. It's a shame."

We carried on a conversation about literature for a while, but soon the rest of the class started to filter in. Aria took the seat next to me, and instantly started filling me in on the morning gossip – you'd be surprised how much can happen in a mere twenty minutes. Professor Lupin, clearly uninterested, slipped back to his desk. I half listened to Aria babble about people I hardly knew while I tried to read my book.

At last, Professor Lupin made his way to the front of the room and cleared his throat, signaling that class was about to begin. The class quieted instantly, and I slid my book back into my bag, giving Professor Lupin my full attention.

"Welcome, class, to your final year of Defense Against the Dark Arts!" The class, made up of mostly good natured, laidback students, clapped and cheered wildly. "My name is Professor Lupin. This year, we will cover several _offensive_ spells, in particular, the Patronus charm; which in light of current events, may come in handy."

_He's referring to the Dementors on the train,_ I thought to myself while I listened.

"As for today's lesson," he continued, gesturing to the clattering trunk at the front of the room. "A bit of a review, perhaps, but I thought it might be fun. Can any of you tell me; what is in that trunk?"

"Your mother?" a sarcastic student answered without raising his hand.

Professor Lupin only laughed, "No, I'm afraid not. Does anyone _else_ have a guess?"

A few students, including myself, raised their hands. I knew he was going to pick me, though. I have a sixth since about those sorts of things – I can always tell when a teacher is going to call on me, even if I'm not raising my hand. Perhaps I should have taken Divination after all?

"Miss Carroll," He said, nodding in my direction.

"I'm pretty sure that's a boggart," I said timidly. I hated listening to myself talk; knowing that the old me used to answer questions with confidence and bravado. It made me feel like a pathetic shadow of my former self. Yet I couldn't stop myself from raising my hand when I knew the answer… Oh well, perhaps if I could prove myself in the classroom, there would be no need for extra study sessions.

"You are absolutely right," said Professor Lupin. "Now, even though I caught this boggart myself, I have no idea what it looks like. Can anyone tell me how this is possible… Ah, you with the glasses. What's your name?"

"Gordon, sir. Markus Gordon," Mark was a short, lanky Hufflepuff, with an unsightly buzz cut. "Boggarts transform into the thing you fear the most the second you lay eyes on them. No one knows what they really look like."

Professor Lupin's grin widened, "You've clearly had very capable professors in the past. Now, please scoot your desks aside, form a line in front of the trunk, and let's get down to business!"

The class followed instructions, moving the desks up against the wall. We stood in a line, and I shoved my hands into my robe pockets so no one would see that they were shaking. I knew exactly what the boggart would turn into; and while Professor Lupin lectured us on the proper incantation and told us to be prepared, I knew no amount mental preparation would help me. So much for proving myself on the first day…

I jumped when the music started – some sort of big band swing – and half the class stared at me while Margret Cambell, a clever, attractive girl from my own house, approached the trunk. Lupin tapped on the lock a few times, and soon a huge ball of fire emitted from it, flying right at poor Margret.

She pointed her wand at the boggart, "Riddikulus!" That was all it took, and the ball of fire erupted into fireworks. The whole class clapped for Margret as she took her place in the back of the room.

Student after student went through the trial, each of them successfully completing it. My turn came much too soon, and I felt queasy as I pulled out my wand.

"Ready?" Professor Lupin asked.

_No,_ I wanted to say, but once again my throat had swollen shut and I couldn't speak. He didn't wait for my response, and before I knew it, a massive, green snake poked its huge head out of the trunk. It's red eyes glared at me for a few moments before it let out a loud hiss.

"Rid-d…" I started to say, but before I could finish, I fainted.


	3. Chapter 3

My head was throbbing when I awoke, and it took me a few moments to remember what happened. Not that I felt any better once my memory came back, but I suppose feeling like an idiot beats waking up in your professor's office with no idea how you got there.

I sat up, my back sore from lying on the stone floor. Someone had been kind enough to fold up my outer robe and place it under my head as a pillow. While I was tugging it back on, I noticed my want sitting on the desk. It was strong, made of oak, with a unicorn hair core. I grabbed it off of the desk, shoved it back into my pocket, grabbed my bag – which I found waiting for me by the door – and opened the door.

Oops, wrong door. Instead of ending up in the hallway, like I had intended, I found myself back in Professor Lupin's classroom. Dozens of surprised first years stared at me.

"What's that, Professor?" a little girl asked, pointing at me.

Professor Lupin chuckled, "I know I'm a new teacher, but even _I'm_ not falling for that one." He was firm, yet kind. An excellent combination for a teacher. "Nice try."

"No, really," another girl said, also pointing her finger in my direction. "Look!"

"Fine, fine," he gave in, slowly turning around. "I'll look. But then you have to pay-" He jumped when he saw me, his face growing even whiter than before. "Miss Carroll!"

"See?" the little girl said, crossing her arms. "We _told_ you."

"Yes, yes," he said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "You told me. I'm sorry I didn't believe you."

"I'm sorry," I laughed nervously. "I'll just… be going now…"

"Excuse me for a moment, class," Professor Lupin said, following me as I stumbled back into his office. He looked at them one last time before he shut the door. "Those kids make me nervous," he said, exasperated. "That Patricia is a little demon."

"Hehe, yeah," I said, still feeling a little lightheaded. "Sorry about interrupting."

"No, it's not your fault," he said. He sat down at his desk and rummaged through the drawer, and pulled out a fun-sized chocolate bar. "Eat this; it will make you feel better."

_I'm not menstrual, I just passed out,_ I thought, but I accepted the chocolate anyway. "Thanks, Professor."

"You had quite a fall," he explained to me. "Your friend Miss Tate went to get Madam Pomfrey, and she said it would be best if we didn't move you too much."

I bit into the chocolate, letting it melt in my mouth instead of chewing it. When I was growing up, I was almost never allowed to have sweets, which taught me to savor them when I did get my hands on some candy.

He sighed, "In light of what's happened, I'm a bit concerned about my decision to allow you back into class-"

"Mmm!" I interrupted, not wanting to talk with my mouth open. I swallowed the chocolate, "No, please Professor. It's just-"

"If you can't handle a boggart, how can you handle _actual_ danger?" he asked me. "I'm not trying to demean you, but I'm afraid that this class might not be for you. There's no shame in that, Miss Carroll. Some people just can't handle it."

I shook my head, "But I _can_, Professor. Please, give me another chance."

Again, he sighed, "Alright, during our special session tonight, we'll try the boggart again-"

I groaned, _Wonderful…_

"Unless, of course, you don't think-"

"Alright," I said. My hands started to quiver at just the _thought_ of repeating the experience, but at least this time the whole class wouldn't be there to witness my freak out. Maybe it would be easier on my own? "Fine, I'll try it again."

"Good," he said, smiling playfully. Despite how frustrated I was, I liked the way he smiled. I felt a minor burning sensation in my cheeks, and I realized I was blushing. Professor Lupin didn't seem to notice, "I'll see you tonight, then. Seven o'clock. Now, go enjoy the rest of your day."

"Seven o'clock," I repeated, nodding. "Thank you, Professor. I'll be here."

Aria was happy to see me when I arrived late to History of Magic, but Professor Binns didn't even notice that I had arrived, or that a crazy blond student insisted on greeting me by tackling me to the ground and screaming about how much she missed me. My headache was worse than ever as she drug me over to our table.

After my little "breakdown", very few students wished to associate with me. However, thanks to Aria's help, I soon came to view that as a blessing. I no longer had to worry about what my "friends" thought of me. I wasn't worried about impressing Aria's – and my new – friends. My new social circle consisted of Ashley Zimmer, a cute girl with a reputation for being a tart (though she seemed innocent enough to me), Jeff Flanders, who had a knack for wearing girl's clothing (which is fine, until you catch him trying on your favorite sweater…), Aria Tate, the gossip queen of the Ravenclaw house (and arguably the entire school), and myself; Violet Carroll, (who used to be a strong, confidant young lady, but was now reduced to being frightened by her own shadow). The three of them had been friends since our first year, and at first I was afraid that I would feel like an outsider. But they were all quick to take me under their wing, and – as Jeff so eloquently put it – I was, "well on my way to becoming a first-class underachiever".

"You don't have to explain yourself," Ashley informed me as I sat down. "Aria already told us about your situation."

"That must have been embarrassing," Jeff snickered. "I can't believe you fainted! You; Violet, who used to inspire fear in the hearts of children everywhere-"

"I wasn't that scary," I said, poking him in the side, which always made him jump. "You're just a sissy."

"What happened after I left?" Aria asked curiously. "I wanted to stay with you, but Lupin made me go to class."

I shrugged, "Nothing, really. I woke up a while later in his office-"

Jeff giggled like the little school girl he was on the inside, "If that doesn't spell 'innuendo', I don't know what does."

I rolled my eyes, "Just because your life is like a creepy porno, doesn't mean mine is. Anyway, I woke up, and he gave me this little spiel about how I shouldn't be in the class if I 'can't handle it'," I said, using air quotes.

"You told him off, right?" Ashley asked. Unlike Aria and Jeff, Ashley still assumed I had _some_ of my old attitude in me, just waiting to come out.

"No," I said. Part of me was disappointed in myself; I know the old me would have bitched him out, demanding another chance. Hell, the old me wouldn't have screwed up the lesson in the first place. But those days were long gone, and now I would have to deal with problems like the new me… However the new me deals with problems. "But he's going to give me a second chance at that boggart during our extra session tonight."

"Extra session?" Ashley and Jeff said together. "Hey, don't copy me. Hey!"

"Yeah, extra session," I repeated. "I thought Aria said she told you about the situation? Well, anyway, Professor Lupin's making me come in every Thursday evening until he thinks I'm caught up with the rest of the class."

"Oh ho _ho,_" Jeff said smugly, wagging his eyebrows at me. "You can't look me in the eye and tell me that doesn't sound a little… suggestive."

"It doesn't," I said flatly.

"It does," Aria and Ashley confirmed.

My face flushed wildly, "I hate you."

"You're blushing," Jeff informed me.

"I hate you too, then," I said, glaring at him.

"It isn't that unbelievable," Ashley said absently, as if we were discussing something as trivial as the weather. "You're a woman, he's a man. You have needs, he has needs…"

"He's a _teacher_," I hissed.

"I like the thought of Violet with an older man," said Aria dreamily. "She's so inexperienced; a virile adolescent might frighten her. A classy gentleman would take better care of my Vi-Vi."

"I can't believe we're even talking about this," I groaned, burying my face in my hands.

"_I _can't believe the kinky stuff always happens to _you_," Jeff said, looking put-out. "You don't even take advantage of it. It's totally not fair."

"Fine, _you_ go have an affair with him, then," I growled at him.

He snorted, "No, thanks. He's too scruffy for me. I prefer my men clean-shaven."

"Fine, have an affair with Professor Snape, then," I quipped. The brief display of wit made me feel better.

Ashley giggled, "Ewww, Jeffey and Snape…"

Jeff looked at me darkly, "I hate you, Violet."

I grinned, "Good to know we're all on the same page. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to catch the end of the lecture…"


	4. Chapter 4

It was half past six when I turned up at Professor Lupin's office for my seven o'clock session. I would have arrived earlier, if it weren't for Jeff, who insisted on picking out my outfit, as he did every time I left the dormitories. Aria and Ashley always got the same treatment, as well ("I love dressing up my girls," he would say…). At least the boy (?) had respect for our unique tastes; today I found myself wearing light blue jeans, an earthy green t-shirt, and my favorite brown cardigan sweater.

_I love them, but good lord, they're obnoxious,_ I thought, happy to settle down in the hallway with my book. Ten minutes into my reading session – and just as the plot was thickening up nicely – the office door opened, and when I looked up, Professor Lupin was standing in front of me.

"Early again," he said, shaking his head as if he were disappointed in me. "And you've moved on to a new book, I see."

"Yeah, _1984,_" I said, reluctantly slipping my bookmark in place and returning the novel into my bag.

"Ah, an excellent choice," said Professor Lupin, smiling. "Muggle literature really is underrated. Are you ready to get started?"

"Sure," I said, pushing myself to my feet. "Let's get this over with."

"You don't have to make it sound so horrible," he said, holding the door open for me. "I mean, I'm sure there are other things you'd rather be doing than spending your evening being tutored, but it won't be all that bad."

"Easy for you to say," I snorted as I walked past him, through his office and into the adjacent classroom. The dreaded trunk sat in the front of the room, as if it wanted to greet me. I gulped anxiously.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Miss Carroll?" he asked.

I nodded, putting my bag aside and pulling my want out of my pocket, "Yes sir, I'm sure," I said, although I know I didn't sound it.

"Alright," he shrugged, unlocking the trunk.

At first, nothing happened, and I was about ready to lower my wand and ask if this was some sick prank. Then the boggart jumped out, already in snake-form, looking at me like I had the word "dinner" stamped on my face.

"R-riddikulus," I stammered, but nothing happened. The snake smirked at me as it charged, and I desperately tried again, "Riddikulus!" Still nothing. My brain screamed at me to run, but every muscle in my body was glued into place.

Much to my relief – and somewhat to my annoyance – Professor Lupin came to my rescue, leaping in front of the giant snake. The boggart stopped, eyed the shabby man curiously, and then transformed itself, taking on the form of a beautiful full moon. For a few moments, we both stared at the gorgeous sphere, completely mesmerized. Eventually, Professor Lupin snapped back to reality, pointed his wand at the boggart, "Riddikulus!" The moon sprouted several red spots, taking on the form of a pepperoni pizza as it descended back into the trunk, which locked automatically.

"I'm d-dizzy…" I mumbled, leaning on a nearby desk.

"Here, eat this," Professor Lupin ordered, handing me another piece of chocolate.

I took the chocolate wordlessly, shoving the whole thing into my mouth. Screw savoring. I wasn't in the mood to savor. I was in the mood to go back to my room and mope, like an angsty fourteen year old.

"I have to wonder; why is this so difficult for you?" he asked while I chewed. "It's just a boggart; you're not in any real danger."

"You don't understand," I said, swallowing the last of the chocolate. My voice quivered as I spoke. "I know it sounds stupid and juvenile to say something like that, but you really _don't_."

"Alright, I don't understand," he admitted, with just a hint of sarcasm as he leaned on the desk, eyeing me intensely. "Explain it to me, then. Why is this so difficult for you?"

My face grew warm, and I felt huge, salty tears starting to creep out of the corners of my eyes and out onto my face. "L-last year, when that… _thing,_ was on the loose… I was so… I was frightened. I couldn't sleep, and I… I threw up almost everything I ate."

"But that's all over now," Professor Lupin said firmly. "The Basilisk was slain. There's no reason for you to be so afraid."

"I know," I said harshly. Professor Lupin stared at me, as if I had just sprouted fangs, and I felt horrible for lashing out at him. It seemed that he really was trying to understand. I took a deep breath, "I know. But even after Harry Potter killed… that… _thing,_ and things started going back to the way they were… I _changed._"

"Changed?" he repeated. "Changed how?"

"In almost every way imaginable. Oh Professor, you should have seen me," I said, closing my eyes and picturing myself in my prime. "I was the brightest witch in my class, a chaser on the Quidditch team, a Prefect, and first in line to be head girl. I was elegant, poised, confidant. I… I was a _bitch_."

He shook his head, "No-"

"Yes, I was," I sobbed. I wanted to stop talking – these thoughts were all very private, I hadn't even shared them with Aria, or my parents – but I couldn't stop talking. It was like my mouth was moving on its own, and everything that was going through my mind was finding a way to leak out. "I was horrible to everyone around me. I only associated with other people who were obsessed with perfection, everyone else was useless…" I hiccupped, but that was only a brief intermission in the pathetic show I was putting on. "And then my grades dropped. And I lost my Prefect status. And then I started shaking all the time, and they kicked me off the Quidditch team, because I couldn't even stay on my boom. And then I lost all my friends, because none of them wanted to be associated with a failure."

"I'm sorry," he said solemnly. "I didn't realize-"

"Don't be sorry," I told him. "I deserved it. All I cared about was being the best, and I didn't care who I had to hurt, as long as I was on top." I looked up at Professor Lupin, meeting his eyes for the first time. This close up, I noticed the scars that decorated his face. I suppose I'd known they were there, but I had never paid them much attention before…

I shook my head, "But now, I have no idea who I am." I laughed at how silly I sounded, wiping my eyes on the sleeve of my sweater. "I feel like I've changed so much, I'm not even the same person."

Professor Lupin reached into his pocket, pulling out yet another fun sized chocolate bar. "This is my last one," he said, handing it to me. "A long time ago, a wise woman once told me; life is like-"

"Life is like a box of chocolates," I said, peeling the wrapper off of the candy bar. "Yeah, I know. I'm muggle born, Professor. I've seen that movie."

"No, no," he said, chuckling. "That isn't what I was going to say."

"Oh…" I said, biting into the chocolate. "Sorry, please continue."

He shrugged, "Anyway, she told me; life is like a jigsaw puzzle. When it falls apart, you pick up the pieces and try to put it back together. Sure, you might not find every piece, but you _will_ find some new pieces in the process. The new pieces will change the way the puzzle looks, sure, but the new picture will look even more beautiful than you ever imagined."

I swallowed the candy, _How corny can you get? Jeez…_ "I guess I'm just… afraid. What if the new me is just as… awful as the old one?"

Lupin looked at me curiously, "Did you ever consider that perhaps _that_ is what you are truly afraid of?"

"Maybe…" I said, but I knew he was probably right. It wasn't just the Basilisk that I was scared of, at the very least. "Do you think I could try again, Professor?"

"If you're feeling up to it," he said. "But if you would rather, we can wait-"

"No," I insisted. "I want to do it now." For the first time in a long, long time, I smiled. Really smiled. "What you said made a lot of since. I think I can do it this time."

He smiled back, "Alright, Miss Carroll. If you're sure…"

My smile turned into a smug grin as I pulled out my wand. I felt confident in my abilities; it was a feeling I missed. "I'm sure, Professor. Open the trunk."

Professor Lupin opened the trunk, and I braced myself, ready for the boggart-basilisk to charge me. However, when the boggart emerged from the trunk, it took on an entirely new form. It was me – the old me - that come out from the trunk. It was like looking back in time; my long, dark auburn hair was perfectly straight and shiny, and every item of clothing was ironed, clean, and perfect. I'd cut my hair since then, and I no longer obsessed about how my clothes looked (that's what Jeff is for), but it was still me.

"You're pathetic," the boggart said, in my own voice. Was that really what I used to sound like? It was so… cold. Ashley was right; I was rather intimidating.

I glared at the boggart. Maybe it was because a livid teenage girl was considerably less daunting than a giant snake, but suddenly it was very easy to conquer my fears. "Riddikulus!" At first, I didn't think anything had happened, and I started to panic as the boggart stepped forward. I noticed a banana peel had appeared on the floor, and as the boggart stepped on it, it slipped backwards in an overly exaggerated fashion, tumbling back into the trunk.

"Ha!" Professor Lupin gasped excitedly. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No," I said, grinning. "I suppose it wasn't."

"I think Ravenclaw deserves ten points for that," said Professor Lupin.

"I never would have been able to do it without you, Professor," I said sheepishly. "I'm sorry about dumping all my… emotional garbage on you, sir. I don't know what I was thinking."

He shook his head, "It's no trouble at all. We all need to open up sometimes, Miss Carroll."

"Anyway… thank you," I said. "You told me exactly what I needed to hear."

He bowed, "Glad I could be of service. I shall see you next Thursday; same time."

"Of course," I said, grabbing my bag. "Good night, Professor."

I felt so elated that I almost skipped my way back to the common room. Professor Lupin's words had struck just the right chord with me. The anxiety that had plagued me for the past seven months seemed to vanish. The last remnants of the old me that were left lurking in the corners of my mind had been shoved into that trunk with the boggart, leaving space for the new me to grow without fear. Not knowing everything about this 'new me' was no longer a frightening prospect – just the opposite, it was exhilarating – and I couldn't wait to see who I would turn into. The more I thought about it, the more I wondered why the thought of changing had frightened me so much. I was already much happier than I had been before, and way less stressed. I could finally stop caring about what other people expected and just be _me_ – whoever that was.

_One piece at a time,_ I told myself as I approached the eagle statue. _I'll figure this whole thing out one piece at a time. And I'll have Aria, Ashley, and Jeff to help me. And Professor Lupin… wait…_

"What is it that you can keep after giving it to someone else?" the eagle asked me, snapping me back to reality.

I scratched my chin, "Hmmm… Oh! I can keep my word after giving it to someone else. Right?"

"Correct," the bronze bird said, allowing me access to the common room. It was now after eight o'clock, and most of the students were already slipping off to their own rooms to sleep or study. However, Jeff, Aria, and Ashley were all waiting for me, just as I expected. Aria sat on one end of the large blue sofa, taking Divination notes. Aria believed that she had the sight, and Divination was the one subject she took _very_ seriously. Jeff was laying across the couch with his head in Ashley's lap while she plucked his eyebrows.

"Ah, you're back!" Ashley shrieked excitedly. "How'd it go?"

"Very well, actually," I said, squeezing onto the sofa with them. Aria moved her books to make room for me. "I realized something tonight; I don't think I'll ever be the same."

Ashley blinked, "Wow… It must have been really good…"

Jeff nodded, "It must have been. She's grinning like a maniac."

I rolled my eyes, but once again, I found myself blushing, "Are you guys still stuck on that? _Nothing_ happened, nothing like that, anyway."

"Then why are you so happy?" Aria asked. "Honestly, it's a little creepy."

"I just realized how lucky I am, I guess," I said, propping my feet up on the coffee table. "I'm so much happier this way than I was before. In a way, it's sort of a blessing. I've decided I'm going to stop wallowing in the past and start learning more about myself."

"Bla, bla, bla," Jeff said, biting into a liquorish wand. "If you're not going to fill us in on the juicy details of your lusty love affair, at least come up with a lie that isn't so… corny and lame."

"I'm being serious," I said, crossing my arms.

"Stop moving," Ashley hissed at Jeff. She continued plucking away at his face, "Well, I am very happy for you, Violet. I think it's good that you're finally moving on to the next phase of your life."

"Thank you, Ashley," I said. "It's good to know I have _one_ supportive friend."

"Awwww," Aria cooed, pulling me into her arms. "I support you!"

"I support you too," Jeff whined. "I just-"

"Stop moving, homo," Ashley growled. "Or do you want to have uneven eyebrows?"

"I'm not a homo," Jeff grumbled, crossing his arms. "I'm a pansexual-transvestite. Get with the program."

"And if you don't quit moving, you'll be an eyebrowless pansexual-transvestite," Ashley told him. "Now sit still or I'll rip them both clear out."

I laughed, returning Aria's hug. Her hair smelt like pomegranates. For the first time in my life, I felt truly happy.


	5. Chapter 5

"Mr. Flanders, what in the world are you wearing?" Professor Snape asked, hovering over our table.

Jeff grinned, completely indifferent to Snape's antagonism. "Oh, these are my new Hello Kitty barrettes. Would you like to try them on, sir? I think they would compliment your skin tone very well."

"No, thank you," said Professor Snape said darkly. "You're in violation of the dress code, Mr. Flanders. Remove them, and that will be fifteen points from Ravenclaw for your blatant disregard for the rules." When Jeff gave Snape the puppy-dog eyes, the potions master only got angrier. "Remove your… barrettes, Mr. Flanders. This is your final warning!"

"Yes, sir," Jeff whimpered, taking off his beloved hairclips and retiring them to his pockets.

"Jeez, he's so anal," Ashley grumbled as Snape fled our table to go harass the other students.

"You shouldn't take it so personally," Jeff said. "Poor Professor Snape, he only experiences joy at the expense of his students… He must be very troubled on the inside."

"Leave it to Jeff to feel sorry for a mean old bag like Snape," said Aria.

"I'd think you would have more of a reason to hate him than any of us," I said, stirring our potion. "He always picks on you the most, Jeff. Why do you put up with it?"

Jeff shrugged, "He just doesn't understand me, that's all. I don't let stuff like that bother me. Someday, maybe he'll look back and feel remorse about the way he treats his students; I don't want him to feel bad about hurting my feelings."

"Awww, Jeff…" I said, truly touched. "How selfless…"

He smiled, "It's my one redeeming quality."

"Speaking of redeeming qualities," Aria said, looking up from the manga she had been reading under the table. That was the one downside to no longer having my brainiac friends; group-work was pretty much me-work. "How are your sessions with Professor Lupin going?"

I sighed, "How come every 'speaking-of' that comes out of your mouth these days ends up with you harassing me about Professor Lupin, even – no, especially - when the previous subject has nothing to do with him at all?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Aria said innocently.

I stirred the potion, which was finally starting to turn the proper shade of yellow. We were working on "The Elixir to Induce Euphoria" – which seemed like something Professor Snape would need – and it was proving to be a bit difficult. I sighed, "Ari, the other day, we were talking about making fruit salad, and you said, 'Speaking of papayas; how is Professor Lupin?'."

"I can't help it, I worry about you," she defended. "You're seeing him tonight, right?"

"Yes, I'm seeing him tonight," I said. "For our Thursday session. Like always."

"I still think you're hiding something from us," Ashley said, grinning slyly.

"Yeah," said Aria. "You're doing excellent in his class. You clearly don't need tutoring. Why else would you keep up this little façade? "

"I just wish you would be honest with us," Ashley sighed, as if she were deeply disappointed in me. "It's so hard to send you off every Thursday when we don't even know if he's treating you right."

Jeff nodded in full agreement, "He hasn't even introduced himself to us."

"Why would he?" I asked. "You and Ashley aren't even in his class."

"Well, it is the proper thing to do," Ashley explained. "You should always introduce yourself to a girl's parents if you plan on pursuing her romantically."

I groaned, my palm colliding with my forehead. "First of all," I said, "The three of you are not my parents – thank goodness for that – and second, I am _not_ doing _anything_ inappropriate with Professor Lupin."

"Well, you should," Jeff said smugly, grinning at me with white – yet slightly crooked – teeth.

I grabbed a vial out of my bag, labeling it with our names before I filled it with the elixir, "Why?"

Aria sighed, "So we can have something interesting to talk about."

I rolled my eyes, "Wash out the cauldron, I'll turn in our elixir."

Ashley laughed nervously, "Sorry… Looks like you did all the work again, huh?"

"I don't really mind," I shrugged. "Once I start working, I just sorta… keep going until I'm finished."

"You won't hear any complaints out of us," Jeff assured me. "You just keep doing your thing, Violet."

I snorted, "Just wash out the cauldron, you creeper."

Thanks to the evening potions lesson, I arrived for my extra session with Professor Lupin only five minutes early. I opened the office door and found Professor Lupin, dancing – very badly - to one of his big band records. I watched, biting down on my lip, but I couldn't contain myself for long. I laughed, catching him off guard. I shut the door behind me and he turned off the record player, looking quite embarrassed.

"I was beginning to think you'd forgotten," he said, smiling nervously. "Usually, you're here by now."

"Hehe, sorry. I got held up in potions," I explained. "Professor Snape was giving my friend Jeff a hard time."

Professor Lupin shook his head, "He hasn't changed…"

My eyebrows rose with curiosity, "Changed…?"

"It's nothing," he sighed. "Professor Snape and I were in the same year when we attended school here."

"Oh, that reminds me," I said, reaching into my messenger bag, pulling out an old, ratty paperback. "I found my copy of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest for you."

He grinned, taking the book from me, "Thank you. I'll start reading it right away."

"Be careful with that book," I warned, wagging my finger. "It's my favorite."

"I can tell," he chuckled, examining the torn up novel. "Are you sure it's all here?"

"Yes, I'm sure," I said, not amused. "I don't condone book abuse."

"Mhmm…" he murmured skeptically, placing my beloved book on his desk. "Obviously. Now, find yourself a desk; I'm quizzing you over those chapters I assigned you last week."

I groaned, wandering into the classroom, choosing the desk I used in class out of habit. Professor Lupin handed me my quiz, and I dug a quill out of my bag as he retreated behind his desk – presumably to do some grading.

_Those guys are crazy,_ I thought, dipping my quill in my signature-purple ink. _There's no way something could happen between me and Professor Lupin._ I scribbled down a few answers, and then looked back up at him. He was hunched over his desk, focusing intensely. His wispy, brown-gray hair fell down into his eyes, but he didn't seem to notice.

I smiled warmly, turning my attention back to the quiz. _Okay, so maybe I do find him a little_ _attractive. But that doesn't mean anything. He's a teacher – a professional – there's no way he would even dream of getting involved with a student… And it's better that way. I don't need any more distractions; I still have my grades and my future to worry about. Oh well, at least I can _look_ at him…_

With that thought, I decided to take another glance at him before I finished up the quiz. I was surprised, however, when I found Professor Lupin looking at _me_. A quick, invisible spark flew through the air between us, and I felt goosebumps crawling up my arms as we both looked back at our work quickly.

My cheeks felt as if they were on fire, and I had to stop working on my quiz for a few moments to collect my thoughts.

_No, it's impossible,_ I told myself again, shaking my head violently. _It was just a coincidence. _


	6. Chapter 6

There's something special about the first Hogsmeade visit of the year. The shops always decorate for Halloween, and excitement over the feast that awaits returning students only makes the experience even more thrilling.

For such a special occasion, Jeff spent hours putting all of our outfits together. Ashley wore a rusty-orange dress, which hugged her body under her bust and complemented all of her curves just right. Her chocolate brown hair was tied back with a cream colored scarf, and her dainty feet were covered by simple brown boots. Aria's outfit consisted of a pair of dark-wash jeans, a red sweater, and a string of pearls. She even straightened her otherwise curly hair. For me, Jeff chose a pair of black jeans, a gray camisole, and a forest green zip-up sweater. Jeff – in his tradition of defying the school's dress code as much as possible during our Hogsmeade trips – wore his favorite flowery skirt, fishnets, boots, and furry leopard-print coat. Aria had done his makeup before we left, and he wore his Hello Kitty barrettes.

Needless to say, we got many strange looks as we wandered about the village. Jeff simply brushed them off, saying that they were, "just jealous because I'm pretty".

Honeydukes was one of the first places we stopped. I personally didn't care much for sweets, but Ashley was completely addicted to peppermint toad creams. I could never understand why she liked them; they taste wonderfully at first, but you can feel them hopping around in your stomach for hours afterwards.

While Ashley browsed the sweets, I found something far more interesting to ogle at; Professor Lupin, looking at the chocolate section with a very serious expression. I knew it wasn't right, but I couldn't help myself. There was something about that man that I just couldn't shake, no matter how many times I told myself nothing would ever happen between us.

Aria rested her arm on my shoulder, "Hm-hm-hmmm."

"W-what?" I asked, startled and embarrassed.

"You were checking him out," she whispered melodically in my ear. "I saw you; you can't deny it."

"I was not," I hissed back at her. "I was just… debating on whether or not I should go over and say hello, that's all."

"Mmmhmmm," she scratched her chin. "I suppose I could assist you in making such an important decision; me being such a good best friend and all."

I gasped, "Ari, I swear, if you-"

"Oops," she giggled, giving me a shove forward, right into a huge candy display. For the most part, the display remained intact, though several delicious-looking candies tumbled to the ground – some of them bouncing off in random directions – and I hit the floor, landing flat on my ass. Everyone in the shop stared, and Aria darted away quickly to escape blame.

"Oh, Violet," Professor Lupin wheezed, startled. He bent down to help me up, and I accepted the assistance gratefully. My whole body ached from the fall, but that was the last thing on my mind.

_He called me by my first name,_ I thought, dusting myself off once I was back on my feet. My face burned with embarrassment. "Thank you, Professor."

"Are you alright?" he asked, forcing me to look him in the eye.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine," I assured him. "Just a little fall, no big deal."

"Right," he shrugged. "Of course."

There was a long, awkward pause, and when I couldn't take it anymore, I forced myself to ask, "So, what brings you to Honeydukes? Are you out of chocolate?"

"No, not quite," he said. "I'm actually here to buy some cakes for afternoon tea with a student, and I… got a bit distracted."

"Afternoon tea?" I pressed inquisitively.

"Yes," he nodded. "His guardians didn't sign his Hogsmeade permission form; I think he feels a little left out."

"Oh ho _ho,_" I heard Jeff crow before he draped his arm across my shoulder. "There you are!"

"We've been looking _all_ over for you!" Ashley scolded, coming up on my other side, a bag of candy in one hand, and Aria hooked to the opposite arm.

Almost involuntarily, my hand met my face, _No. Please, no…_

"And who is _this_ charming man you've been chatting with, Vi-Vi?" Jeff asked, eyeing Lupin with a lewd look on his painted face.

"You know who it is," I grumbled. It wasn't Jeff's… sexuality/gender ambiguity that embarrassed me. It was the way that he made everything as evocative as possible that made me wish I could put a paper bag over my head and pretend I was somewhere else. "It's Professor Lupin."

"Are these… friends of yours?" Lupin asked, clearly shaken. You'd think a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher would have seen more frightening things than a transvestite; but then again, Jeff did come on rather strong.

"I'm Jeff," he said, holding his hand out. Professor Lupin eyed the pink nail polish for a few seconds before accepting the handshake.

"And I'm Ashley," the adorable girl said, giving a brief curtsey. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine," he said politely. "And of course, I already know Miss Tate."

"Sir, we just wanted to thank you for looking after our little Violet," Jeff said, pulling me closer to him like a protective parent.

Professor Lupin laughed, playing along with the game (I wasn't sure if I was grateful or mortified), "You're quite welcome… ma'am. But Miss Carroll is quite capable of taking care of herself, I assure you."

Jeff gasped, clapping his hands together excitedly, "He called me ma'am! Did you hear that girls?"

"Yes, we heard," Aria said, smiling sweetly.

"Of course we heard," I said, not understanding why that was such a big deal. "We're standing right here."

"Congratulations," Ashley said, her mouth full of candy. "I'm very happy for you, Jeff."

Jeff wiped a fake tear out of his eye, somehow managing not to smudge his eyeliner in the process. "You know, at first I was worried about our darling Vi-Vi falling into the wrong hands. But now I see that you really are a classy gentlemen, Professor, even if all those nasty scars on your face make you look a little vicious. You have my permission to-"

"Ooookay," I interrupted, clamping my hand over Jeff's mouth. "Sorry to bother you, Professor. We'll just be going now. Enjoy your afternoon tea!"

"Um… goodbye…" Lupin said quietly, but I just barely heard him over the protests of my furious friends as I pushed them out of the shop.

"Why'd you do that?" Ashley pouted once I got them outside. "We were just getting to know him!"

"I cannot _believe_ you!" I snarled at them. I knew I would create yet another scene, but I didn't care. I felt like I would explode… and I'm pretty sure I did. "Do you enjoy watching me squirm, or do you just like being the center of attention?"

"Awww, we're sorry," Jeff said, rubbing my back. "We were just having a little fun, that's all."

"Yeah Violet," Aria said. "You know how we like to tease you. That's just how we show love."

"Well," I sniffled; Jeff handed me a tissue from his pocket before I wiped my nose on my sleeve. "Did you… I mean I don't care if you do it when we're alone… But did you have to say all that… in front of _him_?"

The three of them looked at each other, as if they were communicating telepathically. Suddenly, with Aria on one arm and Jeff on the other, I was being tugged into Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, and thrust into one of the booths – all of which were meant for two, but somehow we managed to fit all four of us into the tiny space.

"Why did you drag me in here?" I groaned. "I _hate_ this place."

"We need to talk," Ashley said. "No one will pay attention to us in here; they're all too busy snogging."

"There's nothing to talk about," I insisted while Aria ordered us some drinks. "Let me out of this booth."

"No," Aria said, as if she was scolding me, her usually soft features looking very stern.

"Gaah, we're _really_ sorry, Violet," Jeff said, looking genuinely sad.

"Yeah," Ashley said. "If we had known you _actually_ like Professor Lupin, we wouldn't have teased you in front of him like that. We had no idea! We just like to harass you; you know that…"

"Forget about it," I said, shaking my head. "I overreacted; it's not like it matters anyway."

"Of course it matters!" Aria and Jeff screamed together, startling the waitress who was bringing us our tea.

"No, it doesn't," I assured them, sipping my tea. The cup was so delicate I was afraid it would fall apart in my hands, and the tea tasted watery. "Nothing will ever happen between us – nothing _can_ ever happen between us – so let's just drop it, drink our overpriced, frilly tea, and get back in time for the feast, okay?"

"Okay, first of all, it matters to _us,_" Aria said. "You're our friend, Violet, and we hurt you. And we're all very sorry."

I smiled, "Oh…"

Lovingly, Jeff dabbed my face free of tears with his napkin, "Can you find it in your frail, young heart to forgive us."

"Of course," I sniffled. "I forgive you."

Aria made great haste in moving on to the next topic, "Now, as for-"

"Look, can we not talk about this now?" I begged. "I just want to enjoy the rest of my Halloween, okay?"

The response I got was far from what I expected. Smiling pleasantly, Aria reached across the table and grabbed my hand, giving my fingers a light squeeze, "Of course, dear. Of course."

The four of us drank our tea in companionable silence.


	7. Chapter 7

"I feel ridiculous," I muttered darkly as my friends drug me down to the great hall for the Halloween feast. Aria, Ashley, and Jeff always wore themed costumes to the feast, and this year they insisted I join them. Now that they had a fourth companion, they were eager to go as the cast from Alexander Dumas' The Three Musketeers (which, oddly, is about _four_ musketeers); Jeff was Porthos, Aria was Athos, and Ashley was Aramis. Since I was the newest member, they thought it was fitting that I go as d'Artagnan. We all wore matching blue-and-silver Musketeer's robes, hats, and Ashley had drawn a mustache above all of our lips with an eyeliner pencil.

"You look awesome," Ashley assured me as we marched into the hall, immediately catching the eyes of everyone in the room. Half of the hall – in particular the Slytherin table – pointed and laughed, while the other half – in particular the Ravenclaw table – erupted into applause. We all bowed before we took our seats, ready to enjoy the feast.

"Ahhh," Ashley sighed happily. "I love attention. And Cedric was _totally_ looking at me."

"You mean Cedric Diggory?" I questioned, filling up my plate. "Isn't he… I donno, a little… _young_?"

"He's only a year or two below us," Ashley defended, crossing her arms. "Besides, he's super delicious."

"Mmmmhmm," Jeff agreed. "He's a cute young man. I wouldn't mind getting my hands on him…"

"Violet, I'm beginning to see what you mean about Jeff being a little perverted," Ashley said, biting into a large turkey leg.

"Besides, Vi, I don't think you have any room to talk when it comes to dating someone your age," Aria said, wagging her eyebrows. "Professor Lupin's… what, like sixty years old?"

I gagged, "No, he isn't _that_ old. He's more like thirty or forty… I think."

"See, I don't understand it," Ashley said. "You're allowed to fool around with a man twice your age, but if I wanna snog a guy who is only a few years younger than I am, _I'm_ the sick freak."

Jeff sighed, ripping open a steamy warm roll and spreading butter on it, "Society is full of double standards, isn't it?"

"I am _not_ allowed to fool around with a Professor," I hissed. "Which I'm not doing in the first place. If something did happen, he would lose his job."

"I wonder what it's like to kiss someone with a mustache…" Aria said absently, examining her reflection in a spoon, paying extra attention to her own, drawn on facial hair. "Does it tickle, Violet?"

I blushed, and made a lame attempt to hide myself behind my food. "How would I know?"

"D'awww, I have to admit, I love this new Violet," Jeff said, pinching my cheek affectionately. "She's so adorable now. Not scary like she used to be. Now she's all sweet and innocent..."

"Let go of my face," I ordered, my voice muffled. Jeff released my cheek, leaving it a little sore. "And I'm not sweet or adorable. I don't know what I am, but that isn't it."

"And she's modest too," Ashley giggled. "That just makes her even cuter."

"Yeah, whatever," I mumbled, turning my attention back to my food.

A few hours later, we were all settled down in the common room, all about five pounds heavier. Jeff and Ashley were prancing around, having a mock-sword fight. Everyone seemed to be enjoying the little drama (which they had scripted weeks before), except for a few snobs, including Margret Cambell, who was watching the scene with disgust. I found it hard to believe that a year ago, I would be standing there with her, mocking the scene ruthlessly. I really had changed…

Suddenly – and just as Jeff was declaring his undying love for the "princess" that he and Ashley were fighting over – Professor Flitwick stormed into the common room, looking rather shaken up. It was unusual for him to pay us a visit, even though he was the head of our house. For the most part, he trusted us to take care of ourselves. He stared at Jeff and Ashley for a few moments, then shook his head, "Everyone, stop what you're doing and gather your belongings quickly! We have to get to the Great Hall immediately!"

"Why?" Margret asked. "Is something wrong, Professor?"

"I'm afraid so," he said, nervously fidgeting with his glasses. "It seems… Sirius Black has entered the castle."

My stomach leapt up into my throat, along with all of its contents. While the rest of the Ravenclaw house was scrambling to get their stuff together, I sat on the couch with my hands shaking while I resisted the urge to vomit. Aria rubbed my back – which seemed to be helping – while Ashley got our PJs.

I was in a daze as we walked to the Great Hall in a large, blue-and-silver group. It's a good thing Aria was holding my hand while we walked, otherwise I would have wandered around aimlessly for hours. All I could think about was Sirius Black. His name ran through my mind over and over again, _Sirius Black, Sirius Black, Sirius Black…_ It was like a plague. When I finally snapped out of my trance, the entire school was settling down to sleep on an army of blow-up mattresses, and Jeff was making a cootie catcher for us to entertain ourselves with.

"… How did I get into my PJs?" I asked.

"Oh, you poor thing," Aria said, brushing my hair. "You totally freaked out. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said. "You know how I get. I'm a bit of a wuss; last year provided plenty of evidence to support that fact."

"Alright, it's done," Jeff said, holding the cootie catcher out to me. "Pick a color."

"Purple," I said, pointing.

"I should have known," he shrugged. "P-U-R-P-L-E. Okay, now pick a number."

I peeked inside, "Five sounds good."

"One-Two-Three-Four-Five," Jeff counted as he moved the paper object. "Pick another number."

I examined the next set of numbers, frowning, "Why is sixty-nine an option?"

"I feel like sixty-nine should always be an option," he said, smirking.

I rolled my eyes, "Two, I guess."

Jeff giggled as he lifted open the flap, "_You will kiss a werewolf."_

I laughed, "Oh, I will?"

He nodded, "The cootie catcher says so, so it must be true."

"He's right, you know," said Ashley.

"Mhm, yeah," I said. "Whatever you guys say."

"Alright, it's lights out!" Professor McGonagall said, and the hall suddenly went quiet. All of the students furrowed under their blankets. I wondered if someone would tell Jeff he needed to move over to the boy's side, but no one said anything. I rested my head on my pillow, and Aria – who I was sharing a mattress with - wrapped her arm around me lovingly. I smiled, happy to have a friend who cared about me so much. It gave me enough comfort that I easily fell asleep, despite my apprehension.

That night, for the first time in years, I dreamt about my mother.


	8. Chapter 8

"So there was no sign of him, then?" I asked Professor Lupin at our next Thursday session. I had just finished delivering my oral report on vampires, and now the two of us were sitting in his office, drinking tea.

"No," he sighed, looking a bit grim as he sipped his drink. He looked ill, but when I had asked about it earlier, he told me he was feeling fine. "There was no sign of Sirius Black."

I exhaled – I hadn't even realized I was holding my breath – and tried the tea. It was, to my surprise, quite good. "It could have been a false alarm. Or someone playing a prank. I know those Weasley twins-"

"It was no prank," Lupin sighed, pushing his hair out of his face. "The Fat Lady would know Sirius if she saw him; he used to antagonize her when we were at school here."

For once, I felt all the blood _leaving_ my face. I sat my teacup down on the desk, "You mean-"

"Yes," he cut me off, avoiding my eyes. "We were friends. He and I, along with our friends James and Peter, were all but inseparable during our school days. The four of us had so much fun together… It broke my heart when Sirius sold the Potters to Voldemort…" he wandered over to the window and gazed outside. I got the feeling he was talking more to himself than to me. "And as if that weren't enough, he murdered poor Peter as well…"

"And twelve muggles," I added somberly. "I remember when that happened; it even made the muggle news."

"Oh? Yes," he said. "I suppose it was."

"Professor-" I said as I stood up, knocking over my tea cup. The delicate piece of china shattered as it crashed to the floor, sending shards of porcelain and drops of tea everywhere. "Oh, shit…" I bent down and begun collecting the larger shards in a pile. A sharp piece sliced open my index finger, and I cursed under my breath as I lifted the finger to my mouth impulsively.

"Please, allow me," said Professor Lupin, kneeling down next to me. The twisted look on his face suggested that it was painful for him. He tapped the ceramic slices with his wand wordlessly, and in seconds the cup had reformed, as if nothing had happened.

"Hehe, sorry…" I said, forcing an awkward smile.

"Don't worry about it," he said gently. "These things happen. Now, let me see that finger."

Reluctantly, I held out my hand for Professor Lupin to examine. My tiny hand was about half the size of his. My hand was pale, flawless, and fragile; his was aged, coarse – yet somehow kind and gentle – and strong. My fingernails were freshly trimmed, and painted a dark shade of burgundy (by Jeff, of course), and his were chipped and yellowish. He ran his thumb over my cut; the initial contact burned – almost as much as my face was burning – but when he was finished, there was no trace of the scratch.

"Thank you…" I said, making no move to pull my hand back. Professor Lupin was still holding onto it, and I was content to enjoy the contact until he felt the need to break it.

However, time continued to tick by, and neither of us moved. I knew he was looking at me – I could _feel_ it – but my gaze remained on the tea cup.

"You're blushing," he informed me, sounding as though he was at a loss of breath.

A small, dry laugh escaped my lips, "Am I?"

"Mhm, you are," he said. I felt his free hand touch the side of my face, tilting it up so I was forced to meet his gaze. He netted his fingers through my hair, "You're so young…"

I laughed again, "They say I'm seventeen-going-on-seventy…"

"But still…" he said, looking a bit sad as he cupped the side of my face in his hand. "You're a _student_…"

My heart was pounding in my chest, and I was sure it would beat its way out at any moment. This couldn't be happening. It was just too good to be true…

In an instant, something snapped inside Professor R.J. Lupin, as if he suddenly realized what he was doing. He dropped my hand and stood up, backing away so frantically that he almost fell over. His expression was one of complete panic.

"Professor…" I said, trailing off as I rose to my feet.

"Vio- Miss Carroll, I think we are quite finished," he said, holding his hand over his heart. His face was paler than ever. "There will be no more Thursday lessons; you've more than proved yourself."

My heart felt as heavy as a bolder. I choked back tears as I tried to speak, "But-"

"Please, just leave," he said exasperatedly, leaning on his file cabinet for support. "Please… Leave me alone…"

"Alright," I said, – for lack of anything better to say – biting down on my upper lip as I left the office. I clutched my bag tightly, thankful that at least inanimate objects couldn't break your heart.

I was still moping about the incident the next morning, though I refused to reveal the cause of my misery to my friends. Unfortunately, this meant I had to go to Defense Against the Dark Arts as if nothing had happened, and pray that Professor Lupin was willing to play along.

It was my own fault, anyway. I let myself get carried away with my feelings. Oh well, perhaps it was all for the best? No more one-on-one time lowered the chances of me getting even more attached. And… I could still look at him, right? There was no harm in that…

Of course, I was denied even that little shred of pleasure. When it was time for class to start, it was Professor Snape who appeared at the front of the room.

"Quiet…" he said unenthusiastically. "It seems that Professor Lupin has fallen ill, so I will be standing in for him. Even though I don't get _paid_ to do _his_ job…" He mumbled under his breath for a few moments, and then continued to address the class. "I was informed that you have just begun practicing the Patronus Charm, correct?"

"Yes, sir," said Margret, pulling out her best fake smile, even though she despised Professor Snape.

"Then continue practicing the charm for the remainder of the period," he said. "Being a N.E.W.T. class, I trust you to work efficiently on your own while I work on my lesson plans…"

The class complied, getting up and pushing the desks aside so we had practice space. Just days before, I was able to produce a half-decent Patronus, which had earned Ravenclaw a good ten points. But my mind was moving at a hundred miles an hour, and I couldn't get more than just a silver trickle.

_Professor Lupin isn't really ill_, I thought to myself. _He was just fine yesterday. No, he's avoiding me. What else could it be? Jeez, I expected him to keep his distance, but this is just ridiculous! What does he think is gonna happen; Snape will just teach this class for the rest of the year?_

"Pssst, Violet," Aria whispered in my ear. "You'd better keep working; Snape's giving you that look."

"Oh, right," I said, but I didn't attempt the spell again. Instead, my mind went off on another tangent.

_Oh shit, what if he told Snape? I didn't think he'd risk telling anyone, but how else would he convince Snape to take over his class? And I thought things couldn't get any worse…_

"Violet," Aria hissed.

"Right, right," I said shaking my head. I pointed my wand into the air, "Expecto Patronum!" A few drops of silver light dripped off the end of my wand, looking about as pathetic as you can get.

The rest of my day was just as bad. My performance in my other classes was mediocre at best; not that I expected much else. My mind kept wandering back to Professor Lupin, and what had happened between us.

"Hey, we're going to the library," Ashley informed me as I walked into the common room. "You wanna come?"

"No," I sighed. "But thanks."

"Are you feeling alright?" Jeff asked. "Ari said you've been a tad melancholy. Did something happen?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "But I _really_ don't want to talk about it."

"You should come to the library with us," Aria suggested, following me up to our dormitory. Jeff and Ashley followed along as well; somehow, the jinx that prevented boys from entering the girl's dormitories was useless when it came to keeping out the 'gender-ambiguous', and Jeff never had any problems getting in.

"I'd rather stay here, if it's all the same to you," I said, digging around under my bed.

"Oh, come on," Ashley said in her sweetest voice. She could convince a scholar that the world was flat with that voice. "You like books. You'd snog a book if it had lips. Come on, it'll take your mind off of-"

"Son of a bitch!" I screamed, pounding my fists on the floor. "_He_ still has it!"

"Who has what?" my three companions asked in a confused unison.

"Professor Lupin still has my copy of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest!" I screamed, my heart filling with fury. "Oh _no! _I am _not_ playing this game! Nu-uh!"

"Violet, what in the hell are you talking about?" Ashley asked, putting her hands on her full hips. "What game?"

"Does this have something to do with why you've been in a bad mood?" asked Aria.

"Is this a kinky sort of game?" asked Jeff giddily. "Can I play too?"

"I'm getting my book back," I declared, storming out of the room. "I'll see you guys later."

Fellow students stared at me as if I had steam coming out of my ears as I stomped through the halls, muttering darkly under my breath. However, when I realized that I reminded myself of Professor Snape, I quickly stopped. On any other evening, I would have stopped to gaze out the window – I was becoming one of those people who "enjoy looking at the scenery", something the old me never had time for – The full moon was shining brightly, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. But the only thing on my mind was hunting down Professor Lupin and demanding my book be returned to me.

When I reached the door to his office, I pushed it open without knocking. I had been working on being more polite, but at the moment, I had forgotten all about that.

"Professor, I want…" I paused, staring at the scene before me. Both Professor Lupin _and_ Professor Snape were in the office. A tiny cauldron sat on the edge of the desk, the potion inside smoking. Professor Lupin was gulping down what I assumed were the contents of the cauldron, which judging by the expression on his face, were very bitter.

The two of them stared at me; Lupin looking quite startled and Snape looking quite angry. I looked back and forth between the two of them, trying to think of something to say but unable to find the words. It never occurred to me to just tell them why I was there. It's always so hard to think in awkward situations.

Suddenly, Professor Lupin's gaze shifted from me to the window. My eyes followed his to the beautiful full moon outside. After a few seconds, I looked back to the two men, ready to apologize for interrupting… whatever it was they were doing, and get back to my dormitory, where I would spend the remainder of my life…

But when I looked back at Lupin, he was changing. His body seemed to be growing rapidly. He was getting taller, and in seconds his tweed suit was ripping at the seams. His face extended, forming a long snout, and his body was soon covered in a thin layer of long, brown hairs.

I was too stunned to move, and Professor Snape must have sensed it, because he grabbed me by the collar of my robe and pushed me out of the room wordlessly. I stumbled, but was able to catch myself – quite gracefully, all things considered – and catch one last glimpse of the office before Snape slammed the door.

I inhaled deeply, trying to control my shaking hands while I took in what I had just witnessed. I leaned my back against the cool stone wall, sliding down until I was sitting on the floor.

"_He's a werewolf_…" I mouthed in disbelief. "_Professor Lupin… is a werewolf…"_


	9. Chapter 9

"Violet, get _out_ of bed," Aria ordered for the sixth time that morning. Her face was purple with rage. "Class will be starting soon!"

"No," I said, rolling over so my back was facing her. "I'm not going to class."

As she had been doing since the fight began, Aria marched over to the other side of the bed, forcing me to face her again, "You can't just… skip class!"

"Watch me," I grumbled, rolling over again. This was getting somewhat exhausting.

"What are the two of you arguing about?" Margret Cambell asked, stepping out of the lavatory, looking absolutely stunning, as always. Her long, red hair was draped across her shoulders in a way that framed her long face perfectly. Her cheeks were dabbed lightly with freckles, as if God himself had carefully placed each individual speckle.

"Violet won't get out of bed," Aria said, glaring at me with her hands on her thin hips. "Margret, you're head girl; can't you do something about this?"

"Not really," Margret shrugged. "It's Violet's responsibility to go to her classes. Technically I'm not allowed to inflict any sort of punishment until she's already skipped a class."

I burrowed under my fuzzy blue comforter, _I hate you, Margret. Even when we were friends I hated you. I can't believe you got head girl over me. One day, someone is going to knock you off of your high horse… _

"Oh, please don't punish her!" Aria begged on my behalf. "She's been a bit melancholy lately. Maybe she just needs a mental health day?"

"Alright," Margret sighed cheerfully. I watched as the two of them left the room, Margret flashing an evil grin at me when Aria wasn't looking, and I could read her thoughts; _you're so pathetic. Why don't you just shrivel up and die in here?_ Yes, that's what she was thinking. I pulled the covers up over my face and fantasized about pushing her off of the Astronomy tower.

However, even daydreaming about causing my rival pain didn't keep me distracted for long, and my thoughts soon drifted back to Professor Lupin. When I closed my eyes I could still see him, slowly transforming into that hairy beast.

I slid out of my bed and stretched, wandering over to Ashley's wardrobe. I opened the drawer she hid her "secret" stash in, and grabbed myself a few pumpkin pastries to nibble on. I sat down on the edge of the bed and ate my not-so-balanced breakfast.

"It all makes since, when you think about it," I said to my stuffed dog, Goober. Or, at least, he was a dog at some point. Goober had belonged to my mother when she was a child, and had been given to me for my first birthday. Needless to say, he was a bit worse for wear. He was missing one eye, and the eye he did have was a button from my father's old coat. His fur was matted and dull, now a charcoal gray instead of the original lustrous black. Half of his ear had been chewed off by a real dog, as had one of his back legs. "His boggart taking the form of a full moon, the scars on his face, how he seemed to be getting sicker as the full moon got closer and closer… A few more months, and I probably would have figured it out on my own."

As usual, Goober didn't have anything constructive to say. Or anything to say at all, for that matter. I shoved another piece of pastry into my mouth with a sigh, "I think this is why I stopped talking to you when I was twelve."

I left the unfinished cakes on my bed and wandered over to Margret's wardrobe for a little snooping. I dug through her belongings as I continued to think aloud, "It must be quite the secret, I'm sure. I bet students would totally wig out if they knew…" I paused, "Hey, this is my eye shadow. I _knew_ she took it. Gaah, that little twit…" I snatched the plastic container and slammed her wardrobe shut, and then tossed the eye shadow onto my bed. "The nerve of some people…"

After I calmed down, I meandered over to the window – which had a gorgeous view of the courtyard – and watched students wander about, unable to recognize any faces from this far away. I rested my forehead on the widow and sighed.

"And to think, I thought he was ducking out of class to avoid _me… _I really am spoiled, aren't I?" I asked the empty room. "Maybe I haven't changed as much as I thought. I still foolishly assume that other people's decisions revolve around me. It was so stupid to think that what happened between us would affect him so much…"

I wiped my eyes off on my sleeve, "Why do I care so much? Even after everything that's happened these past few days… I still feel the same. I still… I want to be near him. I want to see him smile…"

I decided to cut my mental health day short, partly because I thought class might get my mind off of Professor Lupin, and partly because I ran out of other people's things to rifle through. I was a bit down for the rest of the weekend, however, but I did my best to keep busy. I even went to the Quidditch game between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff with Ashley, so she could ogle at Cedric like a creepy fangirl. To tell you the truth, I didn't miss playing Quidditch. I did it because it was expected of me, not because it was something I enjoyed. I was happy to be free from the commitment. Anyway, due to some unplanned interference by the Dementors; Hufflepuff won the match.

I was both uneasy and happy to be back in Professor Lupin's class the following Monday. I broke my usual habit, and didn't arrive early. Instead, I stuck by Aria, and the two of us walked into class just before it started.

_Alright, the moment of truth…_ I thought as we sat down. "Good morning, Professor."

"G'morning," he mumbled, not taking his eyes off of the floor as he walked past our desks.

"What's up with him?" Aria whispered. "Did you two have a fight or something?"

"Y-yeah…" I said, my eyes still fixed on Professor Lupin. "Something like that…"

"So _that's _it, then," she said, as if she'd solved one of life's great mysteries.. "I knew it had something to do with-"

"Alright, class," Professor Lupin said, sounding very tired. "I apologize for my absence. Thank you all for behaving yourself for Professor Snape; he didn't have any negative comments written down about your class, and that is no small feat." The whole class laughed at that, even me. "So, if you would, please push the desks aside, and we will continue practicing the Patronus Charm. I'm anxious to see how far you've come on your own."

Once the desks were scooted out of the way, we began to work. My eyes followed Professor Lupin around the room, and it was all I could do to force myself to look away.

_You can't let this ruin your grade in this class,_ my inner voice told me. _You're stronger than _that. _Just… try the charm. _

I nodded, as if I was listening to an actual person, and took a deep breath. I dug through my memories, trying to find a good one to focus on. Most of my more pleasant memories were of my early childhood, but they were all so faded, it was hard to use them to cast a Patronus. Lately, I had been trying to use more recent memories – of Aria, Ashley, and Jeff – and that seemed to be working a little better.

_Try to think of the happiest you've ever been…_ my mind whispered. I thought of Professor Lupin. I pictured him laughing, smiling… I remembered him holding onto my hand that evening in his office. Even though moments after that, my heart had been shattered like that tea cup, _that_ part of the memory was happy.

I closed my eyes, smiling as I raised my wand. After replaying all of my memories of Professor Lupin, I opened my eyes and uttered the incantation, "Expecto Patronum."

I felt a jolt, and suddenly, an adorable penguin erupted from the tip of my wand. It slid around on its stomach, and the class clapped and cheered as they watched.

"I… did it…" I said in utter disbelief. "I did it!"

"Yay Violet!" Aria squealed, throwing her arms around me. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Congratulations," Professor Lupin said, offering me an awkward smile without any eye contact. "Twenty points for Ravenclaw. Excellent work, Miss Carroll."

"Thank you, Professor," I said, fidgeting with my wand. I couldn't live like this. I couldn't go to his class and pretend like nothing happened. I couldn't just enjoy watching him without any emotional connection – it was stupid of me to think that I _could_ – and I certainly couldn't watch him sulk every time we were within a few feet of each other.

I knew what I had to do. I had to confront Professor Lupin.


	10. Chapter 10

When you've had someone pick out your clothes every day for almost a year, it becomes _very_ difficult to do it yourself. I couldn't bring myself to ask Jeff to put something together for me. I didn't want anyone to know what I was up to. Unfortunately, this meant I had to change my clothes five times before I decided (gave up) on my outfit; a dark green knee-length pencil shirt, a white collared shirt, and a brown sweater vest. I dug through Ashley's candy stash, leaving an IOU in place of a fancy box of chocolates. With the chocolates tucked under my arm, I set out for Professor Lupin's office.

My stomach was flipping like a pancake as I walked, and I was so nervous I took three wrong turns on the way. At last, I arrived at Professor Lupin's office. My hand was quivering as I knocked on the door.

I could barely hear his tired voice through the door, "It's not locked. Come on in."

_Just relax_, I told myself, turning the knob and slipping into the office. Professor Lupin was sitting at his desk, hunched over with his hair in his eyes, as usual. I shut the door behind me, clutching the box of chocolates.

"I had a feeling I'd be seeing you soon," he said, not taking his eyes off his work.

"Um, yes…" I said, stepping forward. I placed the box of chocolates on his desk. "I brought you these."

Without a word, he pulled the ribbon off of the box, removing the lid. He looked at the contents of the box peculiarly, and then looked up at me. "Why are you giving me a half-empty box of chocolates?"

"Why am I…" I repeated. "Oh, I guess Ashley had already opened it…"

"It's just as well, I suppose," he sighed, placing the lid back on the box. "You probably don't think I deserve a whole box."

"Professor-"

"You don't have to say anything," he said, standing up. "That… transvestite friend of yours already stopped by."

I blinked, "Jeff… What did he say?"

"Most of it was completely incoherent," Professor Lupin sighed. "But I think I got the jest of it; he… she… whatever doesn't want me going anywhere near his precious daughter. Not that I can blame him… her…"

I made a mental note to myself: beat Jeff brutally when I get back to the common room.

"So, how many people have you told?" he asked after a brief pause.

"I haven't told anyone," I said. "I would never tell anyone!"

"You don't have to lie to me, Violet," he said. "I'm used to it. I know exactly what you're thinking: You're disgusted with me, and you never want to see me again."

"No!" I screamed, stomping my foot. "Shut up! I can't take it anymore! Don't talk like that, Professor. That isn't what I think at all."

"It isn't?" he said, looking up at me desperately.

"Of course not," I said, slowly making my way to the other side of the desk.

"But… you… _saw me,_" he said, unable to wrap his mind around what I was saying. "How can you be so… so _calm_?"

I sighed, "Professor, I'm friends with a pansexual-transvestite; a werewolf isn't even close to the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. Besides…" I looked down at the floor, blushing wildly. "You're still the same person."

In the time it took me to blink, his hands were on my arms, pulling me forward in one swift motion. I stumbled, crashing into his body. He held my face in his hands, slowly leaning in to kiss me.

I had been kissed before, but it was nothing like this. My heart fluttered like a humming bird that had somehow gotten lodged in my ribcage. I held on to the front of his jacket, but that didn't stop my hands from shaking violently. His lips were chapped, but his tenderness more than made up for it.

"Professor…" I gasped as he pulled away, completely breathless.

"I'm sorry," he said, frantically pushing me away. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm going to Dumbledore right now; I'm resigning."

"R-resigning?" I stammered, my eyes overflowing with tears. "But-"

"I assaulted a student," he said grimly. "I don't really have a choice. I have no business being around children with my condition in the first place."

"That wasn't assault," I assured him. "I didn't try to stop you, did I?"

He buried his face in his hands helplessly, "Violet, who would ever believe that a bright, stunning, young woman like you would want _anything_ to do with a broke, mangy werewolf professor?"

"Professor…" I gulped, stepping closer to him. It seemed so unfair; I was enjoying this moment so much and he was so miserable. I reached up and grabbed onto his hands and pulled them away from his face, revealing his tear stained cheeks and puffy red eyes. I held onto his massive hands firmly, planting a soft kiss on his knuckles. "I believe it. I… I'm attracted to you, Professor Lupin."

He drew me into another embrace, kissing my forehead before he pulled me even closer. He held onto me tightly, stroking my hair while he whispered, "I can't even remember the last time I woman said that to me…"

I closed my eyes, savoring every wonderful second. A gleeful smile crept across my face, "I'll say it as many times as you like. I've… never felt this way about anyone. I didn't even think it was possible. I felt so awful when you pushed me away. That's why Jeff confronted you; he was worried about me. I swear, I didn't tell anyone… About any of it."

He kissed the top of my head, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know," I said. "I missed spending time with you, Professor."

"Yes, I missed you, too," he said, letting go of me. He placed his hands on my waist, "But you clearly don't need my tutoring…"

"So… Maybe I could do something else," I suggested. "I could help you grade papers, or something."

He smiled at me, "Alright, you can be my assistant. I'm starting to fall behind, anyway." Reluctantly, he added, "It's almost curfew, you should be going."

"Alriiiight," I groaned, stepping away from him. "Goodnight, Professor."

He nodded, sitting down at his desk, "Goodnight, Violet."

_I love hearing him say my name,_ I thought, dancing through the halls. Other students moved away from me, frightened. _Jeez, they're afraid of me when I'm angry, and they're afraid of me when I'm happy. There's just no pleasing some people. _


	11. Chapter 11

"If you were in a dark room with a candle, a woodstove, a match, and a gas lamp, which do you light first?"

"The match, because you can't light any of the others without it," I said, grinning. "You asked me that one last year. You're really starting to run out of riddles, aren't you?"

The statue let out an exasperated sigh as it opened the door. As I expected, Jeff, Ashley and Aria were waiting for me. Jeff was braiding Ashley's long hair, and Aria had her nose stuck in another volume of lewd manga.

"You look happy," Aria said, though I'm not sure how she could see with her eyes on her comic. "Where have you been?"

"I was with Professor Lupin," I said, trying to wipe the smile off of my face, but that turned out to be an impossible feat. "Oh, that reminds me," the three of them watched me inquisitively as I grabbed a copy of The Prophet that someone had left sitting out, rolled it up, and began to thrash Jeff with it ruthlessly.

"Hey!" he whined, curling up in the fetal position as I continued to beat him. "Stop it Violet! That hurts!"

"No!" I screamed, getting in a few more hits before Ashley and Aria – laughing hysterically – pulled me off of him.

"Okay, calm down," Aria said through her giggles. "Breath, Vi."

"You hit me!" Jeff said in disbelief. "I can't believe you hit me! I thought you were nice now!"

I crossed my arms, "I can't _believe_ you confronted Professor Lupin without telling me. Do you have any idea how much trouble you've caused?!"

"Well, he hurt you," Jeff said, content to let Ashley cuddle with him and fix his now disheveled hair. "I couldn't just stand by and watch you sulk while he got off scot-free."

"I think I'm going to have to side with Violet on this one," Aria said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "She's growing up, and we should let her handle some things on her own."

"… Thanks Ari," I said. "I think."

"I can't believe _you_ feel that way," Ashley said, frowning. "I'm _very_ open-minded about love, and even I get nervous at the thought of Violet being alone with a man. What if he tries to take advantage of her?"

"But he would never do that," Aria assured her. "He's the old-fashioned sort, I can tell. He'll want to court her first, and of course he'd ask our permission-"

"Why would he ask _your_ permission?" I interrupted, my face flushed with frustration and mortification. "I've never heard of a guy asking a girl's strange friends for permission to do _anything_."

"But we're more than just your friends," Jeff said. "We're your pseudo-parents."

I blinked, "Yes, because every little girl dreams of having two moms and a creepy, cross-dressing father."

Jeff rolled his eyes, as if _I_ was being completely absurd. "I'm your mother too, Violet. Not all families have to be traditional. They're still families."

"Mhm, right," I said, nodding. "No, you're right. But there is one family tradition I think I'd like to keep. You know, like the one where the daughter doesn't tell her parents the specifics of her love life."

Ashley gasped, "But that isn't fair!"

"Wait," Aria said. "Does that mean there _is_ something going on?"

I laughed, stretching out my arms as I stood up, "I think I'm going to bed…"

"Awww, come on Vi-Vi," Jeff pouted. "Please tell us?"

"G'night… moms," I said, slipping off to the dormitories, leaving the three of them to discuss the situation on their own.

I found that I much preferred being Professor Lupin's assistant to being tutored. Every Thursday, I would make my usual trip down to his office, where truthfully, we would spend more time arguing about books than doing anything productive. He made no more advances, but that didn't bother me. Sure, I would have liked to kiss him again, but just seeing that glimmer in his eye when I caught him looking at me was good enough.

Finally, one evening in late November, when I noticed Professor Lupin beginning to fall ill yet again, I decided I would approach the subject of his… condition.

"Um, Professor," I said, clearing my throat. "I've been wondering; does anyone else know about your… um…"

"Lycanthropy," he finished for me. "That's the technical term for it. And yes, the entire staff is aware of it; most of them knew about it when I went to school here."

I nodded, "I see."

"Not all of them are happy about it, though," he admitted. "Especially everyone's favorite Potion's Master."

"But doesn't he make the Wolfsbane potion for you?" I questioned. "Isn't that why he was in here that night… when I saw you transform?"

Professor Lupin nodded, "Yes, you're correct. But he only does it because Dumbledore asked him to. If he had his way, I wouldn't even be here."

"Why doesn't he like you?" I asked. "I know you said before that you went to school together. Did the two of you not get along?"

"Something like that," he sighed. "I personally didn't have any problems with him, but I never stopped James and Sirius form bullying him, either. I suppose it's hatred by association."

_James Potter and Sirius Black,_ I thought to myself as Lupin told the story. I couldn't help but wonder what the mass murderer and his victims had been like in their youth. I decided to save the question for another time.

"The four of us were very close; James, Sirius, Peter, and I," he continued. "I did my best to keep my lycanthropy a secret while I was at school, but the three of them quickly figured it out… Oh, that reminds me…"

"Hmmmm?"

"How much do your friends know about… what goes on between the two of us?" he asked cautiously.

I got up to put the papers I had been alphabetizing into the file cabinet, "Truthfully; they knew about it before _we_ knew about it. They've been teasing me about you since the term started."

He chuckled, "I see. Friends can be very insightful, can't they? They always seem to know things about us that we don't."

I sighed, leaning on the edge of his desk, "Anyway, I haven't told them anything. I've just been letting their imaginations run wild…" I paused, "And the things they come up with are probably worse than what actually goes on…"

He smiled, moving so he was leaning on the desk next to me, "Worse?"

"You know what I mean," I said, staring down at my shoes.

"They seem to care deeply for you," he said, smiling. "You can tell them I have nothing but the best of intentions."

I blinked, "Seriously?"

"No," he said with a hint of sarcasm. "I intend to ravish your young, ripe body and then take off, leaving you brokenhearted and with child."

I laughed, "Sorry…"

He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer, "I would never do something like that, Violet."

"I know," I said, leaning into his embrace.

He placed his hand under my chin and tilted my face up, looking deep into my eyes, "I wouldn't risk losing my job if that was all I was interested in."

I smiled up at him, my heart fluttering, "I know."

"I don't want to hurt you," he said, resting his forehead against mine.

"You won't," I said, closing the space between our lips. For a brief moment, he pulled away slightly, as if he were shocked by what I had done. I parted my lips slowly, and he seemed to forget any uneasiness he had as he leaned back into the kiss. His mustache tickled my face, and I let out a tiny moan when his tongue entered my mouth.

The office door flung open, revealing Professor Snape, caring a smoking cauldron, which I assumed contained Professor Lupin's Wolfsbane potion. The two of us pulled away instantly, but it was too late. Snape looked back and forth between the two of us, an evil smirk spreading across his face.

I gulped, _This isn't good…_

"Look at what we have here," sneered Professor Snape. "I knew your grades were dropping, Miss Carroll, but I didn't think it was bad enough that you'd sleep with your werewolf professor to pass. Tell me, are the fleas just horrible? How can you even stand it?"

I bit down on my lower lip, "No, that's not…"

He sniggered forebodingly, like a true villain, "I've been failing the wrong students for all these years, apparently. I had a feeling something was going on between you two-"

"Severus, please," Professor Lupin begged desperately. "We're not… I would never-"

"Oh, put a sock in it, Lupin," he said dryly, placing the smoking cauldron on the desk. "But I simply must know; how does it feel to be with a girl _half_ your age? You must be very pleased with yourself."

"I would _never_ take advantage of a student," Professor Lupin said, his voice quivering. "Please Severus, you have to believe me. _Nothing_ happened!"

He crossed his arms, looking quite smug, "I couldn't get you fired for being a werewolf, and I couldn't get you fired for helping Sirius Black sneak into the castle. But _this_ will get you sacked for sure!"

If there was any color left in my face, it was drained the instant Snape spoke his name. _No,_ I told myself. _Professor Lupin would never…_

"I would _never_ help a mass murderer sneak into the castle," said Lupin, almost like he had heard my thoughts, and wanted to reassure me. "And I would _never_ take advantage of her."

Professor Snape let out an exasperated sigh, "You're so pathetic, Lupin. But I suppose I can pretend like I didn't see anything. I can't make an accusation without any proof, anyway. But when I _do_ get my proof –and I will – Dumbledore won't hesitate to throw you out." He gave us each one last glare before he stormed out, slamming the door with enough force to shake the room.

_I _hate_ being this timid,_ I thought to myself. _The old-me at least had that going for her; she had no problem standing up for herself._

"I'm sorry, Professor," I said, touching his arm softly. "Now you could get fired. I should never have-"

He shook his head, "It wasn't your fault, Violet. Things would have never gotten so… carried away if I hadn't wanted them to."

"I can't believe he _said_ all that," I said bitterly. "What a vile git. Of course you don't have fleas. That's such a cruel thing to say…"

He sighed, "I've heard worse."

_Poor Professor Lupin,_ I thought, wrapping my arms around him. I buried the front of my face in his tweet suit, holding on to him tightly. He smelt of chocolate and coffee and old books, a smell I had come to love, "It isn't fair…"

"Its life," he shrugged, wrapping his arms around me. "We're going to have to be careful from now on. We can't afford to provoke any further suspicion. I'm sure Snape will be dropping hints to the rest of the faculty."

My heart sunk, "Does this mean I can't see you anymore?"

"Of course not," he said, kissing the top of my head. "You can see me whenever you like, Violet."

"Good," I sighed with relief. "Good…"


	12. Chapter 12

"Woooh! Go Cedric!" Ashley cheered, waving her Ravenclaw-colored pompoms in the air.

I chuckled, not taking my eyes off of my book – The Picture of Dorian Gray, recommended by Lupin – "Ashley, shouldn't you be rooting for… Oh, I donno… Our house? Just a thought."

"But everyone else is rooting for Ravenclaw," Ashley pouted. "No one's rooting for Cedric!"

"His whole _house_ is rooting for him," Aria reminded her. "Not that it's doing him much good. We're wiping the floor with them."

"_And Cho Chang catches the snitch!"_ Lee Jordan announced. "_Ravenclaw wins!"_

The Ravenclaw section exploded with applause, and even Ashley threw in a few "yahoo"s.

"That's the best part about playing both sides," she said proudly as we marched back to the common room. "I can be happy no matter who wins."

"You know what I just realized?" Aria asked, immediately answering herself, "Christmas is just four weeks away. Can you believe that?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "This year has been flying by so fast…"

"Mhm, for you, I'm sure it is," Jeff said, wagging his eyebrows at me.

I poked him in the side, and he jumped and squealed, "Anyway, that reminds me; my dad always lets me invite friends to stay for the holidays. Would you guys like to come?"

"You know my answer already," Jeff said somberly, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I don't exactly have anywhere else to go."

"Awwww," Ashley cooed, rubbing his back affectionately. "I don't think I could for Christmas, but could I maybe come out for New Years?"

I nodded, "Yeah, sure. Just send me an owl if you decide to come. What about you, Ari? Your parents had a really good time last year, right?"

"Yeah, it was fun," she said. "I'll write them and ask if we have plans. But I will most _defiantly_ be coming to your place for New Years. And then my parents can drive us to the station the next day."

"Sounds like a plan," I said. "My dad hates going onto the platform, anyway."

"Hey, you know who you should invite?" Jeff said, suddenly back to his provocative self.

I sighed, "I can't invite Professor Lupin to spend Christmas with us, Jeff."

He giggled, "I love how you still call him 'professor'. It's so… kinky and adorable."

Ashley nodded, "Isn't it?"

I blushed, "Regardless, my parents would freak out if I invited a teacher home for the holidays."

"Violet, Violet," Aria said, shaking her head. "You're a witch, and last summer you brought home a homeless homosexual-"

"_Pansexual!"_ Jeff corrected.

She cleared her throat, "You brought home this weirdo. I don't think Lupin would freak them out too much. He's close to normal, at least."

_Yeah, except for that whole werewolf thing,_ I thought as we entered the common room with the rest of our house (Margret answered the riddle, like the little showoff she is…). Despite its reputation for breeding goody-goodies and snobs, Ravenclaw house _can_ throw a pretty rad party. Ashley and Jeff joined in the crazy dancing and celebrating, but Aria and I were content to sit in our favorite armchairs and drink Butterbeer."

"You're _still_ reading that book?" Aria asked. "You haven't taken your eyes off of it all day."

"It's very good," I smiled, turning the page. "Professor Lupin recommended it."

"Oh, _that_ explains it," she said, sipping at her drink.

"Shut up," I snarled, kicking her leg playfully. "I wouldn't be reading it if I didn't like it."

"Mmmmhmmmm," she said, leaning over and flicking my nose.

"I think you've had enough," I joked, pushing her hand away.

She giggled, "Oh Violet, I'm so happy for you! After all you've been through, you deserve a little romance."

"I've told you," I said sternly, placing my bookmark between the thin, brittle pages and shutting the book. "There is nothing going with me and Professor Lupin."

"Yes there is," she said. "I can tell. You always grin like an idiot when you say his name."

"I do not," I protested.

"You do to," Aria said. "And you grin like that when you're thinking about him, too; which is pretty much all the time."

"… Do I really?"

She nodded, "And when we're in the Great Hall for dinner, or when we're in class; I always catch you sneaking peeks at him."

I laughed nervously, "Well…"

"So what is it?" she asked, folding her legs underneath her. "You never had much interest in dating before. You always got tired of the guys Margret and Ashley and I tried to set you up with. What gives? What is it about this guy that has my little Vi-Vi so lovesick?"

"I don't know…" I admitted. "It's everything, I guess. He's so… kind, and he's smart, and he likes books. He's funny too, sometimes…"

"What about the mustache?" she asked eagerly.

I giggled, "I _love_ it. I love everything."

She clapped her hands wildly, and then jumped into my chair, attacking me with one of her monster hugs, "Oh Violet! That's so sweet!" She sobbed, "I'm so happy!"

I rubbed her back awkwardly, "Ari, I _really_ think you've had enough. Come on, let's get you up to bed."

"Alright," she sniffled, letting me lead her up to our dormitory. "I really am excited for you, Violet." She waited until we were alone in our room before she whispered, "And don't worry, I won't tell _anyone_. Oh Violet!" she hugged me again, tenderly this time, her maternal side coming out. "After all you've been through, you need some love."

"I've _had_ love," I assured her, hugging her back. "From you and Ashley and Jeff."

"But it isn't the same thing," she said, and I could tell it hurt her to admit that. "Our love is the friendly, parental sort. It isn't the same as romantic love. Already, Professor Lupin's done more for you than we ever could."

"Ari, that's not-"

"It is true," she said, pulling away slightly. "Over the past few months, you've grown so much. You've blossomed into a fine young woman, Violet. You're bright, nice, and sure, you're a little jumpy still, but at least you don't scream every time you see your shadow." She wiped her eyes on her sleeve, "So even if I'm not the most important person in your life anymore, I'm happy."

I shook my head, starting to tear up myself, "Ari, shut up. You're still my best friend." I reached up and tugged a strand of her curly blond hair behind her ear. "Shit, you were the first _real_ friend I've ever had. You'll always have a special place in my heart, Ari… I'll always love you. You… You're a good pretend-mom."

"Awww, how cute," Jeff cooed. "Lesbians!"

"Jeff!" we both screamed, laughing as we chased him out of the girl's dormitory.


	13. Chapter 13

_It was a cold, crisp fall morning. The wind was blowing outside, sending beautiful orange leaves scattering past our window. I sat in my mother's rocking chair, with a one-year-old Lutie on my five-year-old lap. I held the book out in front of her so she could see the pictures while I read, or rather, recited the poem from memory (other kids pretend to cook, or pretend to build, or whatever. I pretended to read):_

"_The time has come, the Walrus said,  
To talk of many things:  
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--  
Of cabbages--and kings--  
And why the sea is boiling hot--  
And whether pigs have wings."_

"_Ughgugh," Lutie garbled, pointing at the picture._

_I giggled, "That's right, Lutie. Very good."_

"Violet, Violet, wake up," Ashley's peppy voice whispered into my ear. "You were talking in your sleep."

I groaned, sitting up in bed. I looked out the window, half expecting to see the fall leaves of my dream dancing outside. Instead, I saw the sun, just barely peeking through the mound of snow on the windowsill.

"Yeah," Ashley said. "Something about a cabbage and a pig, or some such shit."

I grinned, "I was dreaming about _The Walrus and the Carpenter_."

"You dream about walruses and carpenters and you think _I'm_ weird?" I heard Jeff say. I turned and found him sitting on Aria's bed, while she held up a compact mirror for him while he went about his primping routine.

"I meant the poem. I used to read it to Lutie when she was a baby... That's my eyelash curler, isn't it?" I asked flatly.

"You bet," he said, putting down the instrument and grabbing an eyeliner pencil. "I have to look my best for our Hogsmeade visit."

My grin only widened; the first snow of the year _and_ we were going to Hogsmeade. It was almost too good to be true. I slid out of bed and danced across the room to my wardrobe, where Jeff had already set out my outfit: jeans, a black turtleneck, my favorite blue coat, and a fuzzy Ravenclaw scarf. Feeling completely high on life, I continued to recite the poem as I dressed.

"_But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,  
"Before we have our chat;  
For some of us are out of breath,  
And all of us are fat!"_

Ashley giggled, "You're in a good mood, yay!"

"You know, I think I liked you better when you were a spoiled, anal-retentive bitch," Jeff told me jokingly. "Now get over here and let me do your makeup. You look like you just rolled out of bed."

"So… they eat all of them?" a teary eyed Jeff asked while we drank our Butterbeer at The Three Broomsticks. "That's so sad. Who would write a poem like that?"

"Apparently, Lewis Carroll," I said.

"Ohh, is he one of those creepy cousins you never talk about?" Ashley asked. "We have one of those in my family, too. But I never talk about him."

"No, he's an author," I explained. "There's no relation – though that would be pretty cool – Carroll is just his pen name."

"Why do people do that, anyway?" asked Ashley. "Write something and then publish it under another name?"

I shrugged, "Believe it or not, Ash, a lot of people don't like attention."

"Yeah, like antisocial weirdoes and serial killers," she said, wrinkling her nose. "Or ugly people."

"Let's move on to another topic," Aria suggested. "Like…" her eyes practically bulged out of her head, "I am _so_ excited for Christmas!"

"Me too," Ashley squealed, wildly clapping her hands. "I can't wait to see what I'm getting!"

"The holidays aren't just about getting stuff, you know," I said, finishing off my Butterbeer. "They're supposed to be about spending time with people you love."

"Yeah," Jeff nodded, wrapping his arms around me. "That's why Vi-Vi's taking me home with her."

"Yeah," I said. "Something like that."

Aria grinned, "So… does that mean-"

"No," I cut her off. "I am _not_ inviting Professor Lupin to spend the holidays at my house. That would be completely inappropriate."

"Says the girl having an affair with her teacher," Jeff sneered, earning himself a quick poke in the side.

"Poor Professor Lupin," Ashley sighed. "I can just imagine him; sitting in his office on Christmas morning, all alone…"

Jeff nodded, "Without any underage girls…"

I jabbed him in the side again, harder this time, "Shut up, you."

"But Ashley does have a point," said Aria. "And you'll just sulk the whole time if he isn't around. Face it, Violet, you _want_ him to be there."

_Of course I do,_ I thought with a groan, "Alright, _fine._ It it'll get you off my back… I'll ask him about it."

"Yay!" they cheered, clapping their hands and hugging me.

"Sing with me, I beseech you!" Jeff said to the other bar-goers – mostly other Hogwarts students – as he jumped onto the table. At first, they seemed a bit uneasy to sing along with a cross dresser – and I'm sure under other circumstances they wouldn't have – but Christmas spirit can work wonders, and I even found myself singing along:

"_Have a holly jolly Christmas,  
It's the best time of the year.  
Well I don't know if there'll be snow,  
But have some Butterbeer!_

Have a holly jolly Christmas  
And in case you didn't hear  
Oh bygolly have a holly jolly Christmas  
This year!"

It was already dark when we returned to Hogwarts. I had done a little Christmas shopping in Hogsmeade: I got sweets for the younger kids and Ashley (who snuck off for a date), and for my uncle Jack, I got some of his favorite color-changing ink from Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop (like me, uncle Jack was a muggle-born). Jeff and Aria offered to take the gifts up to the dormitory, and even wrap them for me before they shoved me – quite violently - in the direction of Professor Lupin's office.

_I can't believe I'm going to do this,_ I thought as I wandered the halls. I had the address scrawled on a piece of parchment, and I held onto it tightly, wrinkling the page. S_ure, it would be nice to spend the holidays together. That would be wonderful! But then he'd have to meet my family and all the boarders… _

_Oh, what are you so nervous about?_ I asked myself as I reached the office. I tapped my quivering hand on the door. _It's not like you're asking him to _marry_ you or something. It's not like the world will end if he says no, which he probably will..._

"Come on in," Professor Lupin said from inside. I took one last, deep breath before I pushed the door open and stepped inside. As always, he was sitting at his desk with his hair dangling in front of his eyes. However, instead of working, he was reading.

I smiled, _I love how his face looks when he's concentrating,_ I thought as I shut the door behind me. "Good book?"

He glanced up, "Hmmm? Oh, yes. I always enjoy reading Dickens this time of year. How was Hogsmeade?"

"It was nice," I said, folding and re-folding the paper in my hands nervously. "I did a little Christmas shopping."

"Do you have holiday plans?" he asked, dog-earing the page and putting the novel down.

_Book abuse,_ my mind whispered. But I decided to ignore the offense, just this once. "Yeah, I'm going home."

"Oh," he said, trying to mask his disappointment, without much success. "I see. So, you've come to say goodbye?"

"Actually, that's not quite it," I said, letting out one of my dry, nervous laughs. "I came to ask you… if you would be interested in… coming to my place for the holiday."

He stared at me, in a state of utter disbelief, a light blush creeping across his scarred face. "… What?"

"My family runs a boarding house," I explained quickly. "We always have extra rooms. My dad's always said I could invite whoever I like for the holiday; Jeff's coming too, and-"

"Violet," he said, rubbing his temple exhaustedly. "I can't."

My heart sunk, "Why not?"

"We're trying to be _careful,_" he reminded me. "Professor Snape has been watching me like a hawk. And even if he wasn't; wouldn't it be a _little _suspicious for a teacher to spend the holiday with a student, _especially_ at her home?"

"I-I know…" I stuttered. I knew this was coming, but I hadn't imagined it hurting quite this much.

He sighed, "I know you have common sense, I just wish you'd _use_ it."

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but that only made it grow, "Well… here," I said, placing the now completely wrinkled parchment on his desk. "T-that's the address, if you change your mind."

"Thanks for the offer, Violet," he said kindly, offering a remorseful smile. "It's good to know that you'll be thinking of me."

_What else would I think about?_ I thought bitterly. "I have to finish packing. Merry Christmas, Professor. I'll see you at the start of the next term."

He nodded, almost mournfully, "Merry Christmas, Violet. I'll see you in a few weeks."

Author's Notes

Ha! We've made it through chapter thirteen! Since thirteen is my favorite number, this feels like a huge milestone… But I digress.

I don't usually do author's notes, but I feel like all the people who wrote reviews for this story deserve a big, morbidly-obese thank you. You're all so nice, and reading your reviews encourages me to keep writing. So, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I will continue to do my best work for all of you, and I hope you continue to read and enjoy "_Waiting for the Moon to Rise"._

Love, Komaki.


	14. Chapter 14

_I shouldn't have just left it like that,_ I couldn't help but think. The miserable look on his face haunted me for the entire train ride home. Jeff and I bid Ashley and Aria a sad farewell, and hopped into the taxi my father had sent for us. By the time we arrived at the picturesque Starlight Boarding House, it was already late evening. I inhaled deeply as I got out of the cab. The air was cold, dry, and completely devoid of magic. It was stale in comparison to the air at Hogwarts, yet to me it was still inviting, in a way that only a home could be. "It feels good to be home," I said. Jeff helped the driver remove our trunks from the trunk of the cab, and tipped the man before he drove off.

"Yeah, it does," Jeff said. It occurred to me that he now considered the Starlight Boarding House home, as well.

The two of us looked up at the large, Victorian house. Though we couldn't see it well underneath the thick layer of snow, the house was painted a pale shade of green, with a dull white trim around the windows. Smoke was puffing out of the tall, brick chimney – there was little electric heat in the house – and as we approached I could smell dinner cooking.

_I should have at least kissed him goodbye,_ I thought as we pushed our trolleys up the sidewalk, which had been shoveled and salted. Tugging our trunks up the front steps was a bit of a pain, and when we reached the door, Jeff decided to be a gentleman – though he didn't look like it, wearing makeup, a frilly dress, and knee-high platform boots – and hold the door open for me.

"Hello?" I called, dusting myself off in the entryway. Jeff and I both removed our coats, scarves, and other winter garments, hanging them on the empty hooks. I cupped my hands over my mouth and called out again, louder this time, "We're here!"

"I heard you the first time!" Nana snapped from the living room.

"Nana!" I screamed excitedly, dashing into the living room. Nana wasn't my _real_ grandmother, but when I was growing up, I assumed that she was. She'd been living in the boarding house since before I was born. I grinned when I saw her, hunched over in her favorite rocker, listening to the radio.

The walls in the living room were covered with the ugliest, rose-covered wallpaper, and I had never been so happy to see it in my life. Even the hideous, ratty carpet looked gorgeous to me.

"Hello, Violet," Nana said, offering me a tiny, wrinkled smile.

It was more than I deserved. Last Christmas, I had rudely discarded the sweater she had knitted me – she always knitted sweaters for everyone – as an ugly piece of trash. It was such a cruel thing to do, even if I was stressed out about school, and even though her sweaters _were_ ugly as sin. We hadn't spoken much since.

"I made a sweater for you," she said. "It's under the tree."

I wandered over to the Christmas tree. It wasn't a particularly large tree, but it was taller than me. It hadn't been decorated yet; that would happen later. I picked up the soft, purple sweater and sighed, "Nana, what did I say about your sweaters?"

She gasped, her face growing red with fury, "Well, if all you're going to do is gripe and complain, then maybe I should just shove that sweater right up your-"

"They're always so soft," I said, holding the garment up to my face. "Nana, thank you so much!"

She blinked at me, completely shocked as I wrapped my arms around her. After a few uncomfortable moments, she hugged me back.

"I'm sorry I've been so nasty to you," I said, pulling back. I grabbed her old, wrinkled hands and smiled at her. "I'm sorry, Nana. I really mean it."

"Violet…" she said blankly.

"Hey Naners," Jeff said, leaning on her chair with a smug grin. "Where's my sweater?"

She grumbled, crossing her arms, "What makes you think you're getting _anything_ from me?"

"Awww, come ooooon," Jeff teased, tugging on her ear. "I know you secretly love me, like a long lost daughter."

Nana sighed, swatting his hand away from her face, "It's under the tree, Jeffery. Now get away from me before I hurt you."

He squealed girlishly, diving under the tree to receive his present. As we tugged on our new sweaters, Bert, the combination groundskeeper-bellhop, came downstairs to carry our trunks up to our room. Bert was a tall, built man with a thick head of dark hair and thick eyebrows to match. He tipped his hat at us before he disappeared upstairs.

"Ah, Violet," my father said, looking at me as if he weren't sure what he should do. During the horrific events of my sixth year, my father and I had grown apart; he wanted me to stay home, but my stubborn streak would not allow me to leave Hogwarts, even if my life was in danger. It broke his heart to send be back, knowing that it could have been the last time he saw me alive.

_I've got a lot of repairing to do,_ I realized suddenly. My perfectionism had caused a rift between myself and the people I cared about. The old me had been so hateful to all these people over the past several years. I prayed that the new me was strong enough to put this mess back together.

"Daddy!" I squealed in a very Jeffish manner, throwing my arms around my father. We looked nothing alike. His hair was as pale as the sun, and mine was a dark chestnut hue. His eyes were so blue, and mine were gray. I took after my mother. "I missed you."

"I… missed you, too," he said, and I received my second awkward hug of the evening. It was nice; I hadn't hugged my father in many years.

I pulled out of it, however, when I saw my three year old sister, Coral, tottering down the stairs to meet me. Following after her was Damien, the son of one of our boarders, and Coral's playmate. I pulled both of the children into my arms, bursting into tears as I kissed Coral's curly golden hair.

"Ewwww, let go," Damien screamed, pushing me away.

I laughed, deciding not to take his words too personally as I lifted my sister into the air. She wrapped her small, chubby arms around my head, and I felt her drooling in my hair. That's a sign of forgiveness, right?

"Hi, Violet," Lutie greeted from the top of the stairs. Lutie was a skinny, homely girl of thirteen. She had dull brown hair, dull brown eyes, and dull white skin. Her cheeks were covered with freckles, making her appear as if someone had accidently spilt pepper on her face. She always dressed very plainly – though I suppose that was my fault, since most of her clothes were my hand-me-downs – and her new, shoulder-length haircut framed her face in an awkward way.

Wordlessly, I handed Coral to my father and walked up the creaky staircase, until I was face-to-face with Lutie. I looked into her dull, yet somehow still stunning brown eyes, feeling my own spilling over with tears yet again as I pulled her into an embrace.

"Hey!" she said resentfully, though she made no move to fight me off. "Bloody hell Violet, what's gotten into you?"

"D'awwww!" Jeff cooed as he watched the scene from the bottom of the staircase. "How sweet."

Lutie groaned, "You brought _that_ home with you again? I thought I told you to leave the homo at school with all the other magical freaks."

"I'm not homo!" Jeff protested, crossing his arms.

I laughed, "Oh Lutie, I've missed you so much. You know I miss you when I'm away at school, right?"

There was a brief pause before she said, "You do?"

"Of course I do," I said, letting her out of our embrace.

"Violet," Mora – my father's new wife – greeted me as she stepped out of her bedroom, dressed up for dinner, as always. Mora had never liked me. She was a muggle with no taste for anything magical. Instead of sharing a loving embrace, we shook hands. Her hands were bony and cold, and I was glad when she let go abruptly.

_Oh well,_ I thought to myself. _We've never exactly had a good relationship to begin with. Baby steps and all that…_ "Mora," I said politely. "Good to see you."

"Violet!" Uncle Jack's voice boomed from the entryway. "Is that my Violet I hear up there?"

At last, someone who was _thrilled_ to see me. Uncle Jack was a wizard – the only other magical being in the house – and had been like a second father to me growing up. As soon as he found out I was a witch, he moved into the house with us, to help me keep my powers in control until I started school.

Or, Mora, always said, to eat us out of house and home. Uncle Jack was a short, heavyset man, who vaguely resembled the _Monopoly_ guy. He met me at the bottom of the stairs, and almost crushed me with his strong, meaty arms.

"Why are you all standing on the staircase?" Mrs. O'Grady, our cook, asked, looking at us as if we were truly mad – that look was plastered across her face quite often. In keeping with all the stereotypes about chefs, Betsy O'Grady was a large woman. Everything about her was big. Even her wild black hair had more volume than you can possibly imagine; she always kept it died down by a head wrap to keep it under control. "Especially when dinner's waiting in the kitchen."

"Ah, I miss your home cooking, Mrs. O'Grady," I said, standing on my tip-toes to kiss her puffy cheek, the way I used to when I was a little girl.

She grinned, "Finally, some appreciation. You need to come home more often, dear. You're about as thin as a rail. Do they even _feed_ you at that godforsaken magic school?"

I laughed, "They feed us, Mrs. O'Grady."

"Hey!" Nana screamed from the living room. "Someone help me into the dining room! Or do you want me to starve to death in here?"

"That would be one solution to the problem," Lutie muttered darkly. She and Professor Snape would have been the best of friends, I decided.

"Oh, I've got this!" Jeff volunteered, slipping back into the living room.

"Not you!" I heard Nana scream as the rest of us filtered into the dining room. "Get your hands off of me, you… abomination!"

In the dining room, dinner was already set out on the long, antique table: a large plate of roast beef, two huge bowls of mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, and a huge pile of wheat roles. The beautiful French doors that lead out to the garden gave us the perfect view of the snow, which I could swear was begging me to run outside and build a snowman with it. None of the chairs at the table were from the same set, and the table cloth was covered with snowflakes.

Waiting for us at the table were the rest of the boarders. Sarah McGuff, the housekeeper and Lutie's mother, sat in her chair quietly, fidgeting with her hands under the table. If at all possible, Sarah was even more simple-looking than her daughter. Bert, who had fancied Sarah for _ages_, sat across from her, eyeing her bashfully. There were also Damien's parents, Larry and Jane Keats; a businessman and concert pianist respectively. Our newest boarder was the tall, lanky Stephen Yates, the young poet, just out of college. I greeted all of them with a smile as I sat down. Jeff arrived moments later with Nana in tow, and once she was settled down, he slipped into the seat next to me.

"How am I doing?" I whispered while the boarders went at the food like a pack of hungry animals. There would be no leftovers. There were never any leftovers.

Jeff gave me a thumbs up, "You're doing great."

After a very lively dinner, we gathered in the living room to decorate the Christmas tree. Bert and Mrs. McGuff strung long chains of freshly popped popcorn, having to beat off Uncle Jack every now and then. Mora, Dad, and Ms. O'Grady were off decorating the rest of the house. The little children hung feeble, home-made ornaments on the tree, while Jeff and the other adults hung the more fragile ones. Mrs. Keats played Christmas tunes on the grand piano, with a tipsy Stephen singing along.

I sat on the window seat, watching my family from a distance. My mind drifted back to Hogwarts, and to a certain Professor who I was hoping to avoid thinking about. It was useless, of course, and I knew it. I sighed, allowing myself to close my eyes and imagine him; his faded hair, his handsome features, his blue eyes…

"Hey," Lutie grunted as she sat down next to me, practically shoving the hot, ceramic mug into my hand. "It's hot chocolate."

I smiled, taking the mug from her. "Thank you, Lutie."

She tucked her legs underneath her, staring down into her own mug. "I… I miss you too, you know. I just don't like getting all gushy in public. It's embarrassing."

I leaned over and ruffled her hair, "I know."

"Stop that," she spat. "I told you, it's embarrassing…"

"Hehe, sorry," I apologized, sipping at my hot chocolate. But the taste only reminded me of Professor Lupin, and as I looked out at my family, I couldn't help but wish he were with me.


	15. Chapter 15

"Oh, come on Little-Lutie," Jeff begged, whimpering like a puppy. "Let me pick out your outfit!"

"No!" she said, not taking her eyes off of her book. "Violet can be your doll if she wants, but I'm not."

"But you look like an old woman in those clothes!" he sobbed, falling to his knees at the foot of her bed.

"So does Violet," Lutie pointed out, nodding her head in my direction. I looked down from my book at staring at my knee-length green dress and gray cardigan sweater, feeling a little self-conscious. Did I really dress like an old lady?

"Yeah, but Vi-Vi is a _stylish_ old lady," said Jeff. "And you could be to, if you would-"

"Look," Lutie said, shutting her book as she hopped off her unmade bed. "I don't care about looking stylish. Now please, leave me alone."

Jeff and I watched as Lutie left the room, with her book tucked under her arm. I sighed, putting down my own book to straighten up her bed. Lutie and I hadn't redecorated our bedroom since… well, since ever. We had childish, white furniture, dressed up with flowery sheets, blankets, and canopies. The wood floors were scuffed from years of play, and the white walls had been drawn on with every color of crayon.

"What are we going to do today?" Jeff asked.

"I donno," I shrugged. "Same thing we've been doing for the past several days, I guess. Read, play with the kids, help out around the house…"

"Awww, someone needs a little Christmas spirit!" Jeff said, pulling me into a hug.

"I have Christmas spirit, see?" I said, pointing to my Father Christmas button. "I'm fine, really. I just…"

"I know," he said, rubbing my back gently. "I was looking forward to having him here, too. Mora and Roland would have had a fit."

I laughed, _Especially if they knew that he's a werewolf…_

As much as I loved my house, there was one room I loved more than any other: the library. Every wall was lined with bookshelves, and the beautiful fireplace was always so inviting. Uncle Jeff had bewitched it for me (against Mora's wishes) so that it was always burning, but gave off no heat in the summer months. One bookshelf hid a secret room, but the only people who knew about that were my mother and I. There was nothing back there – it was just an empty room - but having a secret made me feel special. Uncle Jack was perched on his favorite chair – a tiny little thing that looked as if it would collapse under his weight at any second – reading The Daily Prophet. Mora didn't know he had a subscription to a wizard newspaper, so he would always duck into the library with his morning coffee to read it in private. While he read, I worked on organizing the books that the boarders had borrowed (abused) while I was off at school. The library had always been my responsibility, and I took great pride in it.

"I swear," I said, sliding a particularly ratty volume back into its place. "When I figure out who's been dog-earing pages, there _will_ be hell to pay."

Uncle Jack laughed nervously – he must be where I learned that from – and asked, "How has school been going?"

"Much better," I said. "I don't freak out all the time, and my hands only shake when I'm really nervous now. My grades are going back up, too. I decided not to go out for the Quidditch team again, but I think that's for the best. I have more time to study and see my friends."

"It's a shame," he sighed. "You were very good."

"Yeah, but I have to prioritize," I said. "I can't do everything. When it came down to it, Quidditch just wasn't that important to me."

He laughed, "You're just like your mother. Sometimes it's a little frightening."

I smiled, _No, Mom wasn't selfish and spoiled…_ "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," he said, folding up his paper, tossing it aside. "What is it, dear?"

"Am I… Did I disappoint you?" I asked solemnly.

"Violet," he gasped, as if I had just announced to the world that I was joining the Death Eaters. "Of course not!"

"I feel like I failed you," I told him honestly. "I feel like I failed everyone. And then I come home, and I know I've changed a lot, but everyone keeps looking at me like I'm some kind of psycho, and-."

"You didn't fail any of us," Uncle Jack assured me, pulling me over to sit on his lap. The poor chair squeaked in protest, but somehow it managed to hold both of us. "We're all just a little surprised, because… well…"

"Because I used to be such a bitch," I finished for him. "And now I'm nice, right?"

He cleared his throat, "I wasn't going to be so blunt, but… well, yes."

I sighed, "It feels weird to me, too."

"Well, I for one am glad you're embracing your true colors," said Uncle Jack. "You've always had a kind heart, Violet. I am _very_ proud to be your uncle. I know you're going to turn out alright."

"Thanks," I said, hugging him tightly.

He smiled, "Violet, if… If I ever had a daughter… I would want her to be like you."

I pulled back, looking at him seriously, "You should _never_ wish that on someone. Even if they are just hypothetical."

He laughed, "You're developing a since of humor too, I see. But I mean it, Violet. You've been like the child I never had."

_What is it about me that draws all these… pseudo-parents? _ I thought to myself as I got back to my job, while Uncle Jack told me about what he had been reading in the paper. _I must look really deprived. _

Later that afternoon, Jeff and I helped Mrs. O'Grady peel potatoes for dinner. Or rather, _I_ peeled potatoes while Jeff painted Mrs. O'Grady's finger nails at the kitchen table.

"You know, you kinda freaked me out at first," she admitted. "But I'm starting to like having you around."

"Awww, shucks," Jeff said with fake bashfulness. "I rather like having you around, Mrs. Grady."

I rolled my eyes, "Oh brother… I can't wait until I'm running this place. No more peeling _anything_ by hand."

"You're preaching to the choir, girl," Mrs. O'Grady chuckled. "Mmmm, that color _does_ compliment my skin tone, doesn't it?"

Jeff nodded, "I told you; I know what I'm talking about."

Lutie pushed through the swinging door, completely livid. "There is _no_ way to get _any_ privacy in this house!"

"Well, there are like… fifteen people living here," I pointed out. "One of them will stumble upon you eventually."

She groaned, digging through the refrigerator, "Shut up. _You're_ the one that keeps inviting freaks here."

"When did she invite freaks here?" Jeff asked excitedly. "Is the circus in town? Can we go?"

I ignored him, "Jeff is the only one coming for Christmas, I promise."

"That's a lie," she said, joining me at the counter with a bottle of soda. "There's another freaky… magicey… person in the living room."

"Well, I didn't invite him," I said, grabbing another potato. "Maybe he's one of Uncle Jack's friends or something. You know how they like to stop in unannounced."

"He said _you_ invited him," said Lutie. "And now he's in the living room, getting the kids all riled up with dumb magic tricks. They were being so loud I couldn't focus on my book-"

I dropped what I was doing, paying no attention to Lutie's angry babbling as I rushed to the living room. _It can't be,_ I told myself, though I could hardly hear my own inner voice over the sounds of my heart beating and Lutie's screaming at me to, "Get the fuck back here". _He would never… He thought it was a stupid idea. No, it's someone else. It has to be._

My heart got lodged in my throat as I peeked around the corner. Lutie stood behind me, suddenly quiet. "So… who is he?" she whispered. "And more importantly, when is he going to leave?"

"P-professor Lupin," I choked, wiping my face free of tears. I was grinning so broadly that it hurt my face, but I couldn't stop. "He's here… He's actually here…"


	16. Chapter 16

"A teacher?" Lutie whispered. "You invited a _teacher_ to stay with us for the holiday? Jeez, I had a feeling you were a suckup at school, but-"

"Shhh," I hissed, wanting to watch the scene play out for a few minutes before we were noticed.

And what a heartwarming scene it was. Coral and Damien sat on the floor, scouring through a huge burlap sack full of presents. Professor Lupin stood over them, wearing one of his signature patched-up tweet suits, leaning on his cane with a smile.

"Where'd you get all these, anyway?" Damien asked skeptically.

"Father Christmas, of course," said Professor Lupin. "He wanted me to deliver them here personally."

_Awww,_ I thought, my hands flying over my mouth. _He really is incredible…_

"I'm not stupid," said Damien. "Father Christmas isn't even real."

"Of course he's real," said Professor Lupin. "Isn't that right, Coral?"

As usual, Coral had nothing to say. She was too busy drooling over her new teddy bear.

"Coral doesn't talk," Damien said. "And she doesn't believe in Father Christmas, either."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, smiling and crying as I stepped out into the living room. I was expecting there to be a long, slightly awkward pause, where we would stare at each other and say nothing.

Instead, Professor Lupin grabbed me and lifted me up into the air, spinning around. "Violet! There you are!"

"P-professor!" I stuttered, shocked. "Put me down!"

"Right, sorry," he said, placing me on the ground gently. He panted, leaning heavily on his cane for support. "I guess I'm not as strong as I used to be…"

"What are you doing here?"I asked, flabbergasted. I wanted to be mad – I _really_ wanted to be mad – but I couldn't. I was too busy being delighted.

"You invited me to stay for Christmas, remember?" he said, placing his hands on my shoulders. "I am still invited, right?"

"Of course, but… What about playing it safe?"

"Well," he shrugged, looking at me fondly. "I decided I wasn't going to let Snivellus Snape ruin my vacation."

I chuckled. Snivellus? I'd have to remember that… "I'm glad you changed your mind."

"D'awwwww!" Jeff squealed, pulling Lutie into a hug. "How touching!"

"Let go of me," Lutie grumbled, pushing Jeff off and storming up stairs, muttering about personal space.

"We could make this into a corny Christmas special," Jeff continued. "We'll call it, _The Underage Nerd and The Cradle Robber." _

I blushed furiously, "Jeff!"

"He's a robber?" Damien gasped. "I knew there was something funny going on!"

"No!" Lupin said frantically. "I'm not a robber, I promise."

"Professor Lupin is a teacher at my school," I told the kids. "He's going to spend Christmas with us."

"Your bags are in your room, Mr. Lupin," Bert said, appearing at the bottom of the stairs. "Your room is the last one on the left."

"Whose bags are in what room?" Mora asked, making her entrance.

I groaned, "This is my… This is Professor Lupin. I invited him to stay for the holidays." She opened her mouth to argue with me, but I cut her off. "Dad said I could invite whoever I wanted, remember?"

"But I don't think _this_ is what he had in mind!" she snapped. "And why didn't you tell us he was coming?"

_As much as I don't like Mora, she has a point,_ I realized. _I probably should have asked them first. This doesn't exactly look good… Oh shit, what if she contacts the school? Would she even know how to do something like that? No, but Uncle Jack would. Shit…_

"I'm afraid that is my fault," Professor Lupin said, jumping to my rescue like a night and shining armor. "I had originally turned down the invitation, but then my plans changed. I hope I'm not causing any trouble."

Mora sighed, "Well, I suppose we can't do anything about it now. Make yourself at home, Mr. Lupin."

He nodded, "Thank you, Mrs. Carroll."

"Wow, you got her to calm down," I said, still a bit astonished as she and Bert went on about their business. "I didn't think it was possible. Usually once she gets started, she has to keep going until she passes out from alcohol consumption."

Jeff nodded, "And then we have to put one of those windup keys in her back to get her going again."

"I'm sure she's not all that bad," said Professor Lupin. "As for you, Mr. Flanders, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't refer to me as a 'cradle robber'."

He shrugged, "If the shoe fits-"

"Oh, go finish painting Mrs. O'Grady's fingernails," I said, pushing Jeff back into the kitchen. "And tell her to set an extra spot at dinner. Come on Professor, I'll show you around."

"Oh, right," he said, following me upstairs. "You have such a lovely home, Violet."

"It's a little drafty," I sighed. "But I love it. I hate not being able to use magic, though. Ah, here," I said, pushing the heavy wooden door open. "This is what I really wanted you to see; the library."

"Wow," he breathed, slowly stepping inside. I followed after him, closing the door behind us. "Are all of these yours?"

I nodded, "Mhm. Well, they're the family's, anyway."

"It looks like quite an extensive collection," he said, wrapping his arms around me. "I missed you."

I grinned, standing on my tiptoes so I could kiss his cheek, "I missed you, too."

Then came that long silence I had been anticipating, but it wasn't awkward. It was… nice. His eyes looked so kind and inviting, and I could feel my blush growing deeper and deeper by the second. Finally, our lips connected, and I was instantly transported to cloud nine. Remembering some advice Ashley had given me years ago – after she'd set me up with that dull Percy Weasley fellow, whom I had _nothing_ in common with – I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and ran my hands through his faded hair. This must have been the right thing to do, because he instantly tightened his clasp on me. His tongue pushed on my lips gently, begging to be let inside. I complied immediately, enjoying every sweet second.

Reluctantly, he pulled away, grinning wildly, "We shouldn't be doing this. What if your mother saw us? No amount of Christmas spirit would keep her from reporting me to Dumbledore."

I blinked, "Um… I don't think that's possible, Professor."

"Violet," he groaned, releasing me from our embrace and rubbing his temple in frustration. "Be sensible. She could walk in at any-"

"No, she couldn't," I assured him. "My mother's... No longer with us."

He looked at me seriously, "Violet, I just saw her, downstairs in the-"

"Oh," I interrupted, giggling at the misunderstanding. "I see now. No, Mora isn't my mom. She's my dad's new wife."

"I see," he sighed. "So your real mother…?"

I stopped laughing. The tears that welled up in my eyes were no longer the happy kind, and I felt my heart turn heavy as stone as I spoke, "My mom is… dead. She was murdered, almost thirteen years ago… By Sirius Black."


	17. Chapter 17

"Sirius wasn't always a crazed murderer," Lupin said solemnly as he helped me frost Mrs. O'Grady's homemade Christmas cookies. Another batch was in the oven, and their sweet smell collided awkwardly with the smell of the stew brewing in the old-fashioned hearth on the other side of the room. "A bit of a troublemaker, perhaps, but not a killer. He had a good heart. He stuck by me even after he figured out about my… problem."

"What happened to him, then?" I asked, perhaps a bit too insensitively.

"I've been trying to figure that out for almost thirteen years," he sighed. "When he was sixteen, Sirius disowned his family and their ideals concerning pureblood supremacy; Lord Voldemort stood for everything he had rejected… But I must admit, towards the end, I had begun to suspect he might be a spy. I regret not reporting my suspicions to Dumbledore every day."

"It isn't fair," I whimpered, my unsteady hands creating a sloppy pattern on the cookie. "He killed my mother, and your friend, and now he's out running around, free to do as he pleases!"

"There, there…" he whispered, patting my shoulder. I longed for more contact, but I knew we couldn't risk it. Mrs. O'Grady popped in every ten minutes to check on her stew. "A wise woman once told me; the ones that love us never really leave us. They're always right here," Hesitantly, he placed his hand over my heart, allowing it to linger for a few (considerably awkward) moments before he went back to frosting.

I smiled, "You've mentioned this wise woman a few times before. Who is she – an old girlfriend?"

"No," he laughed, smiling warmly. "No, but she was a very good friend. She was a very talented witch, very bright, and very kind. You remind me of her, sometimes."

"What was her name?" I asked curiously.

"Lily," he said. He stuck his finger into the bowl of chocolate frosting, and then licked it clean. "Lily Evans."

I blinked, "You just stuck your finger in the frosting…"

"Hmm?" he looked up at me, licking the last traces from his finger. "No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did," I said. "I saw you do it."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he said innocently.

"You still have some on your lip!"

He licked it away quickly, "Do not."

"There's some stuck in your mustache," I said flatly. "You're not exactly smooth, Professor."

"Heh," he laugh nervously. "I suppose not."

"Here, I've got it," I sighed, grabbing a paper towel. I ran warm water over it until it was damp, and wrung it out.

"This thing can be such a pain," he said, blushing slightly as I wiped it clean. "I've been thinking about shaving it for years-"

"Please don't!" I begged frantically.

He grinned smugly, "Why not? Do you like it?"

It was my turn to blush as I nodded sheepishly, "Yeah, it looks good on you. And… I like the way it tickles my face when you kiss me."

His grin widened, "Ohh, you do-"

"Oh wow," I heard Lutie gasp. Professor Lupin and I both looked up suddenly, instantly spotting Lutie in the doorway.

"L-lutie," I stammered. "H-h-how much did you hear?"

"I heard… enough," she said, looking more embarrassed than me. "I'm sorry, I won't interrupt anymore."

"Lutie, wait!" I called after her, but she was already gone. I buried my face in my hands, "Oh no…"

"This isn't good," Professor Lupin said miserably.

"I… I don't think Lutie would say anything," I said, taking deep, even breaths to calm myself down. For once, it actually worked. "She's not the type to rat me out. I think we'll be safe."

"We _really_ need to work on 'being careful'," he said, leaning on the counter. His face was completely drained of color, and his hair dangling in front of his eyes. "Maybe this was a bad idea after all…"

"What was a bad idea?" Mrs. O'Grady asked as she barged into the kitchen.

"Decorating the cookies," I answered quickly. "My hands are a little shaky, so they don't look very good."

"Shoot, that's nothing to get so upset about, Mr. Lupin," said Mrs. O'Grady, shaking her head. "They'll still taste the same."

"Yes, I suppose your right," Professor Lupin said, forcing a smile.

"Violet, would you be a dear and help me set the table?" Mrs. O'Grady asked. "If you're hands aren't still shaking, that is."

"No, they're fine now," I said. I stood on my tiptoes to get into the cabinet, counting out the bowls as I removed them. It looked like we had just enough. "I'll set the table."

"I'm sorry we don't have a more extravagant meal planned for this evening," Mrs. O'Grady apologized. She gave me a dirty look as she continued, "If I had known you were coming, I would have been better prepared."

I rolled my eyes, _Crazy old bat. Everything you make is fantastic._

Professor Lupin shook his head, "Nonsense. I'm sure it will be delicious."

Of course, it was. As was the homemade bread my father brought home from the bakery. He seemed extremely shocked to find another houseguest when he arrived, but I managed to convince him that eating dinner should come before chewing me out. With luck, I could avoid the inevitable brawl between myself, Dad and Mora until Professor Lupin was out of the house.

Adding another person to the huge table forced us all a little closer together, but no one seemed to mind. Everyone looked a bit skeptical about our new arrival, but it was nothing compared to the first time I brought Jeff home (Nana made him eat in the kitchen for the first few days). However, I could always count on Uncle Jack to be on my side; he was completely elated to be in the company of another wizard.

"What year did you graduate, Lupin?" Uncle Jack asked, dipping a large piece of bread into his stew with his thick fingers. "I could swear I've heard that name before…"

"I graduated in 1978," said Professor Lupin. "I was in Gryffindor."

"Ah, I see," said Uncle Jack. "Yes, I graduated in '74. I was a Ravenclaw, myself. I was the star of our Quidditch team, you may recall."

I groaned, fishing a large chunk of potato out of my stew. Uncle Jack loved to brag about his Quidditch skills. Looking at him now, you would never guess that a broom would even hold him up.

"The only thing I recall," said Professor Lupin. "Was Gryffindor wiping the floor with you, Mr. Carroll."

Jeff snorted, "Whatever. Ravenclaw is _way_ better than Gryffindor."

"I agree," I said, nodding. "Gryffindor's got nothing on us."

"Three against one," Jeff said, smirking. "You lose, Professor."

"Don't be rude to our guest," Nana ordered, smacking Jeff with her spoon.

"Do you understand anything they're saying?" Mrs. O'Grady asked Ms. McGuff. The housekeeper shook her head wordlessly.

"It's a little odd, isn't it?" Mr. Keats said with a small, Snape-ish smile. "A teacher visiting his pupil for Christmas. Is that common practice… wherever it is you're from?"

Mr. Keats was like an older version of his son, Damien, and while I loved both of them like they were my real family, they could be endlessly frustrating. Leave it to him to bring up the dreaded subject.

"Yes," Mora agreed. "I'm not sure how… _you people_ conduct yourselves, but in our world, this is bordering on inappropriate."

"I know it's a bit unorthodox…" Professor Lupin said, and I could tell by the expression on his face that he was racking his brain for a reasonable explanation. "You see… Violet has been helping me with office work in the evening. I fall ill quite often, you see, so I'm always behind. Anyway, before the holidays, I mentioned to her that I don't have any family in the area. But before I could explain that I was planning on traveling to see my family, she hastily invited me here for Christmas."

_Wow, way to think on your toes, Professor,_ I thought, nibbling at my stew. "I just didn't think anyone should be alone on Christmas," I added.

Uncle Jack smiled at me, "That's my Violet."

"_My_ Vi-Vi," Jeff pouted, crossing his arms.

"She can be very considerate when she wants to be," Mrs. Keats said, smiling at me.

"I can't imagine anything more… Out of character, actually," Mora said cynically.

"Well, at any rate," Professor Lupin continued, "My relatives, regrettably, changed their plans at the last minute. And I just figured, I had nowhere else to go, so why not? I guess it never crossed my mind that I would cause you any trouble."

"Ah, it's no trouble at all," Uncle Jack assured him. "You're welcome here anytime, even if you are a Gryffindor. Our doors are always open."

"Thank you, Mr. Carroll," Professor Lupin said thankfully.

Mora shot him a glare at him, "This isn't _your_ house to be inviting people to, Jack."

"Oh, lighten up, Mora," Jack said, brushing her off. "It isn't your house, either."

"Will the two of you put a sock in it?" Mrs. O'Grady ordered.

"Yes," Ms. McGuff said quietly. "You shouldn't fight, especially on the holidays. It just… It isn't right."

"Excuse me," Lutie said, tossing her napkin on the table.

"Oh, but you're not even half done," Uncle Jack said, eyeing her full bowl of stew like a shark. "Would you mind if I-"

"You can have it," she said, scooting out of her chair.

"Lutie, dear, is everything alright?" her mother asked. "Do you feel well?"

"I'm fine," she assured us, departing from the dining room in a huff.

"She'll be alright, Sarah," Bert assured Ms. McGuff. "She's just… at that age. I'm sure she's alright."

"Yes," my father said, nodding. "I remember when Violet was that age-"

I cleared my throat loudly, "So, Uncle Jack, how about those Bulgarians? That Victor Krum is an amazing seeker, isn't he?"

"Yes, yes," my uncle said, pouring himself some more wine. "And so young, too. How about you, Lupin? More wine?"

"Mm, no thank you," said Professor Lupin. "I prefer to drink in moderation."

Uncle Jack laughed loudly, putting the bottle down, "How about the rest of you?"

"I'll take some of that wine, Jackey," Jeff said.

Nana slapped him again, "No, you won't."

After dinner, Professor Lupin retired to his room, looking quite exhausted. I elected to do the same, though I wasn't planning on going right to bed. I wanted to clear things up with Lutie. Just as I expected, I found her in our room. She was already changed into her nightdress, with a book open in her lap. Her gaze, however, rested on the snowy terrain outside instead of the yellowed pages.

I shut the door behind me, "Look, Lutie, about-"

"So you're with him, then?" she asked, not looking away from the window.

I sighed, sitting down on the edge of her bed. "It's a bit… complicated…"

"He's a _teacher_," she scolded, finally turning to face me.

"Oh, really? I hadn't noticed," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

She rolled her eyes, "Its _wrong_, Violet. He's way too old for you."

"He isn't _that_ old," I defended.

"He's only four years younger than Uncle Jack," she pointed out. Even though we weren't related, he had always insisted that Lutie should call him 'uncle', since she had no real uncles to speak of. "And he looks even older."

"That's just-" I bit my lip, stopping myself from revealing to Lutie that Professor Lupin's premature aging was a result of his many transformations into a werewolf. I sighed, "I don't care how old he is."

"Are you giving yourself to him?" she asked.

My jaw dropped, "Lutie!"

"Well, it's a valid question!" she screamed back.

"No, it isn't!" I said, my face growing red with both irritation and embarrassment. "That's a very private subject. And no, I'm not."

"Would you?"

I swear, sometimes Lutie made me want to rip my hair out. In this instance, however, I wanted to rip _hers_ out. "I donno…" I said, flustered. "Maybe…"

"Violet," she said, looking at me seriously. "He'll just take advantage of-"

"No," I cut her off. "Professor Lupin isn't like that. He's… kind and gentle… He would never force me into anything."

Lutie's face softened a little, "You love him, don't you?"

"Maybe…" I said, but while I said it, my mind was screaming, _Yes!_

"I think he loves you, too," she said, shutting her book and placing it on the bedside table. "I saw the way you looked at each other…" Suddenly, Lutie burst into tears, sobbing as she shoved her face into her pillow. "I knew this was going to happen…"

"Knew what was going to happen?" I asked anxiously. "What are you talking about?"

"You're going to run off with him, aren't you?" she asked, her voice muffled by the pillow. "As soon as you graduate, you're going to run off with him and start your own life."

"Lutie…" I sighed, pulling her hair back. "I never said that. I don't know what I'm going to do after I graduate."

"I've been looking forward to it since you first left for that damned school," Lutie confessed to me. "I couldn't wait until you finally finished school, so I could see you every day. I've looked up to you my whole life, Violet. I've always wanted to be just like you."

"Aww, Lutie…" I whimpered, my eyes filling up with tears.

"But now you're going to leave for good," she cried. "I always knew this would happen. You'd find some magic-guy at that school, and then you'd run away with him and we'd never hear from you again-"

"I'm not going anywhere," I assured her. I wiped my own tears away before I pulled her up, out of her pillow and into my arms. Her head rested on my shoulder and I stroked her dirty brown hair fondly. "I promise."

"I wanted you to be my sister," she whispered into my ear.

"I know," I said, holding onto her tightly. "I wanted you to be my sister, too."

We sat like that for several moments, until Lutie's sobs finally subsided. Smiling, I began to recite _The Walrus and the Carpenter,_ the way I had when we were children.

"_The sun was shining on the sea,  
Shining with all his might:  
He did his very best to make  
The billows smooth and bright--  
And this was odd, because it was  
The middle of the night."_

Lutie snorted, "I think I'm a little old for that one."

"_The moon was shining sulkily,  
Because she thought the sun  
Had got no business to be there  
After the day was done--  
It's very rude of him, she said,  
To come and spoil the fun!"_

Instead of arguing with me, as I had expected, Lutie recited the next few stanzas:

"_The sea was wet as wet could be,  
The sands were dry as dry.  
You could not see a cloud, because  
No cloud was in the sky:  
No birds were flying overhead--  
There were no birds to fly._

_The Walrus and the Carpenter  
Were walking close at hand;  
They wept like anything to see  
Such quantities of sand:  
If this were only cleared away,  
They said, it would be grand!"_

I stared at her in amazement, "I can't believe you remember it…"

"How could I forget?" she asked, the normal bite back in her voice. "You were constantly shoving that poem down my throat when I was a kid."

I giggled, letting go of her so I could get ready for bed, "Goodnight, Lutie."

"Wait," she said, grabbing onto my sleeve. "I… I want to hear the rest of it."

Author's Notes

Hehe, me again. Sorry about this… Anyway, I just wanted to throw in that I do **not**__own _The Walrus and the Carpenter._ And also, thank you for over 1,000 views! That makes me so happy! It's like my own Christmas present, even though it's July right now…

Anyway, please continue to read and review my little story. I really appreciate all your support, and I hope to see this thing through to the very end!

I'll try not to bug you again,  
Komaki.


	18. Chapter 18

"Violet, wake up!" Damien screamed in my ear, beating me with my own pillow. Coral jumped on Lutie's bed, giggling wildly.

"Stop that!" I snarled, grabbing onto the pillow. "I'm trying to sleep!"

"But it's Christmas morning!" Damien protested, jumping up and down like a monkey child. "I wanna open presents! Wake up! Wake up!"

"Alright!" Lutie and I screamed together, sitting up in bed. With our disheveled hair and half-opened eyes, we looked more like sisters than ever.

"Get out of here so we can get dressed," I said, shoving the little kids towards the door.

"Getting dressed?" I heard Jeff gasp from down the hallway. Before I knew it, Jeff was in my room, digging through my dresser in search of the perfect outfit.

"I can pick out something for you, too, Little-Lutie," Jeff offered, re-arranging several possible outfits that he had set out on my bed. "I could make you look _super_ pretty…"

She groaned, "Alright, I'll let you pick out my clothes today. But only because I didn't get you anything for Christmas."

"Yay!" Jeff squealed, clapping his hands riotously. "And I can do your hair and makeup-"

"No," Lutie cut him off. "I don't wear makeup. You can pick out my clothes; that's it."

"Don't worry, you can still do my makeup," I said, patting his back.

"Okay, I think you should wear this," Jeff said finally, pointing to a pair of khaki slacks and my new, Nana-knitted purple sweater. "Yes, that will do quite nicely." His gaze drifted over to Lutie, and he smirked like the devil, "And now, sweet, Little-Lutie, it's your turn…"

"I am going to kill him," Lutie whispered to me as the three of us went downstairs. For her, Jeff had picked out a beautiful Charismas-red dress – which I had worn to a birthday party five years previously – and cute, black, open-toed flats. "I feel ridiculous."

"You look adorable," Jeff and I said in unison, causing Lutie's face to turn the same color of her dress.

"Come on! Come on!" Damien cried, flailing his arms in the air. "I wanna open my presents!"

"Be patient, sweetie," his mother said, gritting her teeth. At this rate, she'd be down to her gums by April.

"Good morning," my father greeted us as we arrived in the living room. "The two of you look beautiful."

"Awww, shucks," Jeff said, sitting down on the sofa next to my father. "You look pretty handsome yourself, Roland."

He adjusted his tie awkwardly, "Thank you, Jeffery..."

My younger sister tugged on my pant leg, looking up at me with huge, round eyes. Even though she didn't talk, it was always easy to interpret what she wanted you to do. I sat down on the dirty carpet, next to Professor Lupin's chair – almost instinctively - and heaved her into my lap. "Come here, Coral," I said, kissing the side of her head. "Are you ready to open presents?"

"Yeah, she's ready," Damien answered for her. "She's _been_ ready."

"I told you dear, be patient," said Mrs. Keats. "We're waiting on Mr. Carroll."

"I can't believe him," Mora said, eager (as always) to voice her opinion of my uncle. "Drinking on Christmas…"

"I'm a grown man," Uncle Jack said in his loud, booming voice as he returned from the kitchen, a full glass of wine in his hand. "I'll drink whatever I want, whenever I want. It's none of your bloody business."

"Since Mrs. O'Grady isn't here to say it, I will," I said. "The two of you need to shut up so we can enjoy the holiday."

"He's here now," Damien said, pointing at Uncle Jack. "See? Now can we _please_ open presents?"

"Yes, let's open our presents," my father said. "Stephen, would please help me pass out everyone's gifts?"

"Of course, sir," he said politely. I was surprised to see the scrawny leper out and about; usually he was confined to his room, not wanting anyone to disturb his 'creative process'. Together, the two of them passed out all of the gifts; the younger kids tore into their presents like a couple of animals going in for the kill, but the rest of us preferred to open our gifts slowly.

I stared at my pile, carefully considering which one to open first. In the end, I decided on the most predictable-looking box; Stephen's. I peeled away the bright red-and-green paper and found just what I had expected: a new book. I told the young poet thank you before I put the book – an obscure title by an author I had never heard of – aside.

"Why, thank you, Violet," Uncle Jack said. I looked up to see that he had already opened the inks I had purchased for him. "These are my favorite, you know."

"I know," I said, grinning. "You're welcome."

The next gift I opened was from Mrs. O'Grady and Bert, both of whom had gone home to see their own families for Christmas. It was a box of my favorite peppermint tea, the same as last year. Not that I minded, the tea was delicious. I made a mental note to send both of them thank you notes by owl.

Both the Keats and the McGuffs got me books; the Keats an antique copy of Pride and Prejudice, and the McGuffs a few newly released anthologies. Jeff – in his tradition of giving inappropriate gifts – got me an especially skimpy piece of lingerie, which I quickly shoved back into the bag, hoping that no one had seen it. Professor Lupin's light, airy laughter behind me didn't offer much in the way of reassurance.

My family – my father, Coral, Mora, and Uncle Jack – had all chipped in to purchase me a new cauldron. I had dropped hints to Uncle Jack over the summer, and I'm sure it took a lot of sucking up on his part to convince Mora to spend money on "magical rubbish". Despite my hatred for Professor Snape – which had grown exponentially since he had said those hurtful things to Lupin that day he caught us snogging – I actually enjoyed Potions, as far as subject matter is concerned.

Finally, I was down to one last present. It was a tiny, navy box, with a petite red bow taped to the front. The tag on the front simply read "Violet", but I knew who it was from. I recognized the handwriting right away. I hesitated for a moment – why was I hesitating? – before I lifted the lid off of the box. Inside was a folded piece of parchment, with the words "_open in private"_ scribbled on the front. Quickly, I snatched the parchment and slipped into my pocket, revealing my gift: a beautiful pearl necklace and matching earrings.

I was so astonished I almost dropped the box. "P-professor…"

He leaned forward and whispered into my ear, "Do you like them?"

"Of course," I said, biting back tears. "They're gorgeous… but how…?"

"I wanted to get you something special," he said. He reached around me, grabbing the pearls from the box. He fastened the necklace around my neck, gently readjusting my hair. "You've been so kind to me."

"T-thank you," I stuttered, my face flushed. I could feel my father and stepmother watching me, but I forced myself to focus on Professor Lupin for the time being. "I feel a little guilty now; all I got you was chocolates and a book."

"You shouldn't feel bad about that," he told me with a smile. "Those chocolates look delicious, and I love James Joyce. Those gifts were very thoughtful, Violet; thank you."

"I wanna set up my new train!" Damien declared. "Can I do it in here?"

"I suppose," Mora said hesitantly. "As long as you put it away when you're done playing with it."

"Come on, Coral," Damien ordered. Coral – as always – followed after Damien, clutching one of her own new toys. They settled into a far corner of the room and began setting up the metal train tracks.

"Jane, dear," Nana said, tapping Mrs. Keats on the shoulder. "Do you think we could have some music?"

"Of course!" she said, migrating from her spot on the sofa over to the piano bench. She struck a few chords first, and then began playing her tune – one of my favorite Christmas songs – for the rest of us to sing along with:

"_Oh, what a merry Christmas day,  
Hear the joyous music play.  
Bells are ringing, choirs singing,  
Oh, what a merry Christmas day."_

Now that everyone was thoroughly distracted – and my anticipation at an extreme level – I snuck off to the bathroom to read Professor Lupin's letter. I put the seat down on the toilet and took a seat. I slipped the parchment out of my pocket and unfolded it tenderly, as if it would fall apart in my hands if I wasn't as gentle as the man who had written the note scrawled on it in beautiful silver ink:

_Violet,_

_I have deeply enjoyed the time we have spent together this holiday season. After meeting your family, it has become clear how you learned to be such a kind, generous young woman. I'm not sure what I did to win your affections, but I hope this gift communicates how grateful I am to you, as well as my strong feelings for you. I await, quite eagerly, the next time I am able to hold you in my arms. _

_When you awake in the morning, I will be gone. I must return to Hogwarts and begin taking my potion again. I regret it, of course, but as you know, I have no choice. I will be waiting for you when you return to the castle. My office doors are always open._

_Love,  
Remus John Lupin_

_P.S._

_I like the way my mustache tickles your face when I kiss you, as well._

A drop of water landed on the parchment, and I realized that I was crying. Quickly, not wanting to waste any more of the precious time I had left with Professor Lupin, I folded the paper and shoved it back into my pocket. I flushed the toilet and ran the water for a few moments, creating the illusion that I had, in fact, used the loo before I rejoined the group in the living room. I – I'll confess, without thinking – grabbed onto Lupin's arm, wanting to hold onto him for as long as possible before we were separated again. Jeff embraced me, forming what amounted to a human sandwich (no pun intended) as I joined in the singing:

"_Gathered 'round a fireplace,  
Families filled with love and grace.  
From peaceful ember's glow,  
Blessed Yuletide spirits grow.  
Grow and grow,  
Grow and grow._

_Joy to the children far and near,  
What a wondrous time of year.  
Isn't it just grand to say;  
Merry, merry Christmas,  
Merry, Merry Christmas,  
Oh, what a merry Chrismas day!_"


	19. Chapter 19

Sure enough, Professor Lupin was gone when I woke up the next morning. He had left a note, explaining to us that he must leave for an emergency at Hogwarts – though I knew the real reason, thanks to the letter he had slipped into my present – and he expressed his gratitude for allowing him to spend Christmas with us.

Soon after he left, Mora and my father managed to corner me and interrogate me about our latest guest. After almost an hour of shrewd denial, I was able to convince them that Professor Lupin was just a good friend, and that there was nothing romantic going on between us. My father – the human doormat – was convinced, but Mora still seemed to have her doubts.

For the first few days of Lupin's absence, it was easy to keep myself distracted, and when I was feeling a little down, I would pull out his letter and read it. I wanted to write back to him, but every time I sat down, words refused to come out of my quill. Eventually, I gave up on that venture, and as time went by it got increasingly difficult to pretend that I didn't miss him terribly. Lutie and Jeff would both consol me whenever they got me alone, and that did help.

Finally, on the morning of December 31st, Aria and Ashley arrived, bearing belated Christmas presents for Jeff and I: new dresses, which Jeff was thrilled about. Though they were a bit girly for my taste, I had to admit that they were beautiful. When I didn't react with tremendous enthusiasm, they assumed I was melancholy – which I suppose I was, a bit – and drug me outside to build snowmen.

"Violet, you're making his head too big," Lutie scolded. Since I no longer had my passion for taking charge of every little thing, Lutie decided she should fill the leadership role.

"Lutie, you're being a vindictive ass," I quipped, mocking her tone. "The head is fine." _Jeez, was I really that bossy?_

"No, she has a point," Jeff said, examining it thoroughly. He pulled his leopard print coat around him tightly. "But I – being the genius that I am – have already come up with two solutions."

"Peachy," Lutie muttered.

"Ohhhh," Ashley cooed, completely amazed. "That's marvelous, Jeff! What are your ideas?"

"We could either make the body bigger, and say that it's Hagrid," Jeff explained. "Or, we could just give it a big head, give him an extra-long nose, and say it's Professor Snape."

Ashley, Aria and I erupted into laughter. Ashley fell into the snow, rolling around as she cackled loudly. Aria and I both leaned on Jeff to support ourselves.

"I don't get it," Lutie said, staring at us awkwardly. "What are you talking about?"

"Professor Snape is another one of our teachers at Hogwarts," I told her once I stopped laughing. "And Hagrid is the groundskeeper."

"He's a giant," Aria explained further. "No, really, he's an actual giant."

"Giants aren't real," Lutie said.

"Mhm, and neither is magic," I said. "At any rate, I think we should make it Hagrid. It wouldn't be fair to the snowman to make him into Snape."

"Yeah, that does seem a bit cruel," Jeff admitted. "Hagrid it is."

"Anyway, speaking of professors," Aria said, and I knew what she was going to say before she even opened her mouth. "Jeff wrote us and told us that Professor Lupin came to visit for Christmas after all."

"Yeah, he did," I said. "So?"

"So…" Ashley giggled. "That's so sweet!"

"It really was," Jeff confirmed.

"It was disgusting," Lutie spat. "All they did was stare at each other with gaga-eyes when they thought no one was looking. It's creepy; he's so _old._"

"So the little one figured it out…" Aria said. "You're smart, Lutie, especially for a muggle."

"It's not like it was hard," she said. "They don't exactly try very hard to keep it a secret. I'm sure everyone in the house has figured it out by now."

"We try…" I said, my face growing warm despite the cold winter wind.

"Forbidden love," Ashley said dreamily. "How romantic! It's just like me and my Cedric."

"It's nothing like you and Cedric," I grumbled. "Is the body ready yet?"

"Mmmmhm," Jeff said, poking his head out from behind the giant snowball. "Ari, would you do the honors?"

"Of course," she said, pulling her beautiful, dark-colored wand out of her pocket. She cleared her throat, swishing her wand as she said, "Wingardium Leviosa." Much to Lutie's dismay, the smaller snowball lifted off of the ground, and under Aria's maternal guidance, landed gently on top of the larger one.

"I guess magic does come in handy sometimes…" Lutie admitted.

The five of us all vowed to stay up until midnight, but I was the only one that made it up past eleven-thirty. Aria had burrowed under my blankets for a nap at ten, and hadn't come out since. Ashley and Jeff were sleeping sitting up, back-to-back, on the scuffed wood floor. They held their noisemakers in their hands, ready to welcome 1994 with lots of obnoxious racket. Lutie was passed out on her bed, the book she was reading still open.

At midnight, I heard the bells from the clock tower in town ring. I closed my eyes, taking a deep, full breath with every chime. Once the sounds subsided, I opened my eyes. I grinned when I saw that it was snowing again. Off in the distance, I saw the whitish outline of a full moon behind the clouds. My grin widened as I pulled a roll of my favorite parchment out of my desk, along with my favorite plum-purple ink, and began to write my letter.

_Dear Professor Lupin,_

_Writing this letter proved to be quite difficult; as much as I love words, I don't exactly have a way with them. You haven't left my mind since you left my home. I wish I could be with you to ring in the New Year, but since that is not possible, I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you. You made the last few months of 1993 brilliant, and I can't wait to experience 1994 with you._

_Love,  
Violet Elise Carroll_

I sighed, re-reading my letter. It didn't hold a candle to the one Professor Lupin had written to me, but it was the best I could do. I rolled up the paper and tied it, leaving extra ribbon to attach it to Wallace's – Uncle Jack's owl – leg. I kissed the rolled-up parchment gently, "Happy New Year, Professor…"


	20. Chapter 20

I had never been happier to return to Hogwarts. Finally, the start of my last term. Next May, I would graduate, and take my first steps out into the world as an adult. Sure, I was a bit nervous for my N.E.W.T.s, but I wasn't too worried. As a sixth year, I had intended to take the Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Test for every subject I was enrolled in, but now I wasn't sure if I was going to take any at all. As time went on, it looked like I would be taking over the Starlight Boarding House after all. I no longer had my strong ambition, and the thought of spending my life with my family, my friends, and my books seemed more and more appealing. At any rate, I was happy to be back at school. Not only would I be wrapping up my education, I would get to see Professor Lupin again.

However, as much as I wanted to see him, I decided to not pay him a visit on my first night back. I was exhausted from my train ride, and I thought it might be a little suspicious if the first thing I did once I returned to Hogwarts was run off to see my Professor – we were still trying to be careful, after all - but since arriving early to class was part of my profile, I felt no guilt about showing up to Defense Against the Dark Arts way before the class even started.

"Professor," I called, peeking inside the empty classroom. After I saw it was empty, I stepped inside. "Professor Lupin? It's Violet. Are you here?"

I heard his muffled voice coming from the other room, "I'm in the office," he informed me. "Please, come on back."

Grinning, I placed my bag at my desk and darted back into the office. I stumbled as I made my entrance, nearly knocking the ancient slide projector off of its cart.

Professor Lupin laughed at me from behind his desk, "You should watch where you're going."

"And you shouldn't leave your things sitting in the middle of the floor, where unsuspecting students could to trip on them," I quipped, crossing my arms.

"Did you have a good New Years?" he asked, his smile not fading for even a second.

"It was alright," I sighed, tugging my hair behind my ear. "I was the only one who hadn't passed out before midnight, though. How about you?"

"Let's just say it wasn't how I would have chosen to greet the New Year," he said bleakly. "I got your letter, by the way."

"Hehe, I figured," I said nervously. "Sorry that it was so lame."

"Nonsense," he said. "I was happy to hear from you. It's good to know that you didn't forget about me."

"As if I could ever forget you," I said, pushing his hair back out of his eyes. "I don't know where you would get a crazy idea like that."

In one swift motion, he rose to his feet, connecting his lips to mine on the way up. I felt a jolt of passion run through my body as he kissed me, holding my face in his. The pad of his thumb rubbed my cheek affectionately, and when I closed my eyes, the rest of the world disappeared.

"Are those the earrings I gave you?" he asked, drawing back just enough to talk. His lips brushed up against mine when he spoke.

"Mhm," I said mumbled, panting slightly.

"I'm glad you like them," he said, kissing me briefly before he went on, "They're beautiful on you."

I blushed, "I hope they weren't too expensive…"

"I had to dip into my savings a bit," he admitted. "But seeing the look on your face when you opened that box was well worth it."

"They're the best gift anyone has ever given me," I said truthfully, pushing his hair back into place once more. _I think I'm falling in love with you, Professor,_ my mind whispered, but before I could put that thought into words, his mouth was on mine again.

All of a sudden, the sound of someone clearing their throat pierced the air, and we shot away from each other so fast I almost knocked over the slid projector again. After I caught my balance, I looked up and saw Aria standing in the doorway, shaking her head.

"Lutie was right," she said harshly. "You two are really bad at keeping this whole deal a secret."

"This isn't what it looks like," Professor Lupin said quickly. "Violet was just… helping me get the slide projector ready!"

Her eyebrows rose, "And… How does shoving your tongue down her throat accomplish that?"

"It… W-w-well…" I stuttered, blushing furiously. I looked up at Professor Lupin, hoping he would pull one of his amazing rescue maneuvers, but he looked just as flustered as I was.

Aria laughed, her good nature returning to her flawless face, "Oh, don't look at me like that. You know I'm just messing around."

"Miss Tate," Lupin breathed, relieved. "Could you please-"

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me," Aria said, pulling me into her arms. "I may be a gossip, but I can keep a secret."

"So reassuring…" I mumbled, unable to get out a whole sentence due to limited oxygen intake.

"At any rate, you should defiantly work on being more discreet," said Aria. "What would you have done if it had been someone else who walked in on your snog-fest?"

"Yes, I know," Professor Lupin sighed miserably. "You think we'd learn our lesson… At any rate, Miss Tate, could you please push the slide projector out into the classroom? We'll be needing it for today's lecture."

"_Riiiight_," she said, wagging her thin eyebrows at us before she did as she was told. "But hurry up with your lovey-dovey stuff; other students are going to start showing up soon."

"We'll just be a moment," he assured her, shutting the door as soon as Aria was through. "That was close."

"At least it was just Ari," I sighed, leaning against the desk.

"It would probably be best if we restricted our… encounters to afternoons and weekends," Lupin suggested. "Miss Tate has a point; there's always a chance that a student will arrive early for a class, or another teacher will stop by for a visit."

"Then… Can we see each other this afternoon?" I asked hopefully. "For tea? I have some new peppermint tea I got for Christmas."

"Alright, afternoon tea," he nodded, kissing my forehead quickly. "At about three o'clock?"

"I don't get out of Charms until three-thirty," I said. "And I'd like some time to change first. How about four-fifteen? That would give me plenty of time to show up early."

He laughed, pushing me towards the door, "Four-fifteen it is. Now, go learn something."

As I stepped out of the office, Margret Cambell was just stepping into the classroom. She'd cut a few inches off of her brilliant red hair, but it was still grown out past her shoulders. She eyed me peculiarly, like she was trying to read my mind as we both took our seats.

"It just got cold in here," Aria whispered absently, doodling little hearts and clouds on her parchment.

Within ten minutes, the rest of the class had arrived, and we all acknowledge Professor Lupin with woops and cheers when he congratulated us on reaching our last term at Hogwarts.

"Now, today's lecture will concern Necromancy," Professor Lupin informed us, getting right down to business. "Can anyone tell me exactly _what_ Necromancy is? Ah, yes, Miss Cambell."

"Necromancy is the dark art of raising the dead," Margret said, clearly and beautifully.

"Excellent," said Professor Lupin. "Now, the art of Necromancy isn't a very successful one; as we all know it is not possible to raise the dead. The body only returns as a mindless, soulless shell. Today," he paused dramatically, waving his wand in the air. The curtains fell across the windows, blocking the morning sun, and the moth-eaten screen lowered from the ceiling. "We will be focusing on the undead creatures known as Inferi. Mr. Gordon, could you please tell us a little something about these creatures?"

"Yes, sir," Markus said politely. "An Inferius is sort of like a corpus-puppet. They have no free will."

"Very good," Professor Lupin said, and though he was behind me, in my mind I could picture him smiling. He always smiled when he was teaching. I heard him tap the slide projector with his wand, and a particularly gruesome shot of a pale, hairless body appeared on the screen. "Miss Carroll, would you be so kind as to tell us how one repels such a creature?"

"Well, they're afraid of light, aren't they?" I said. "So I suppose a fire-based spell would be a good choice."

"Correct," said Lupin, changing the slide again.

_He's such a fantastic teacher,_ I thought, dipping my quill into my purple ink so I could take notes. _Hell, he's a fantastic _person._ He's always so kind and understanding. Why does he even bother with me?_

That was the first time a thought like that had crossed my mind, and while I tried to focus on the lesson, it refused to move aside. What _was_ Professor Lupin doing with someone like me? If he was into students, there were plenty of other choices. I looked at my friend Aria; with her long, thick, curly blond hair falling out of her scrunchie. The light from the projector made her green eyes sparkle like gems. I wasn't ugly exactly, but Aria was defiantly prettier. So was Margret, and – though I hated to admit it – Margret was probably smarter than me, as well. I was a spoiled little wuss with shaky hands who had little confidence, no idea who she really was, or what she would do with her life. He could do so much better – better was sitting all around him – how could I possibly stand a chance?

_But you're the one he's snogging in his office and having afternoon tea with,_ I reminded myself. _You must be doing something right._


	21. Chapter 21

Charms class seemed to move by at a snail's pace, and even though Flitwick dismissed us ten minutes early, I still felt as though I had been in that classroom for years. I quickly shoved my book and other supplies into my bag, eager to get out.

"Violet," Professor Flitwick said, tugging on my robe to get my attention. "Could I please have a word with you, in my office?"

"Yeah, sure," I said, feeling my sudden burst of enthusiasm slowly deflating.

"Oh, don't worry," he said, leading the way into the back room. "You're not in trouble or anything. I just have a few questions I'd like to ask you."

"Alright," I said, taking a seat in front of his desk. His desk and chair were considerably shorter than normal, so he could fit in them. The top of his desk only came up to my knees when I was sitting across from him in my normal-sized chair.

"You seem a bit down," said Professor Flitwick. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine," I said. "I just… Have somewhere I need to be, that's all."

"Oh," he said, grinning. "I see. Well, I'll make this quick, then. Violet, as head of your house, it is my responsibility to look out for your best interests, and guide you in any way possible. So I feel like I have to ask…"

_Oh shit…_

"How many N.E.W.T.s are you planning to take?"

_Thank goodness,_ I thought. "I'm not really sure, Professor."

"Well, I highly recommend taking as many as you feel comfortable with," he said. "I know you were considering taking over your muggle-family business. Is that still a possibility?"

I nodded, "I'm kinda leaning that way, but I'm still not sure."

He nodded back, "Still, it's a good idea to take the exams, in case you change your mind later on."

"I know," I said. "Which ones do you think I should take, Professor?"

"Charms for sure," he said, without hesitation. "You're brilliant in class, Violet. Simply brilliant. And, if I were you, I would defiantly take Potions as well. It's always been one of your strongest subjects. You do relatively well in Transfiguration, Astronomy, and Ancient Runes… You've always excelled in History of Magic, but a N.E.W.T. in that subject is almost useless these days. But if it's something you enjoy, you should go for it."

I sighed, "So, you think I should take _all_ of them? That doesn't really help me narrow it down, Professor."

"Why narrow it down?" he asked. "You're a very bright witch, and if you study hard, you could do well on all of those tests."

_But I'm sick of studying!_ I wanted to scream at the stubby man. "Thank you for your confidence in me, Professor, but I just don't think I can do it all. Not anymore, at least."

He sighed, "It's a shame, what happened to you. You could have done so much with your talent…"

"With all due respect, Professor," I said, trying my best to hide my slight irritation. "I've never been happier. I feel like… Like I can finally live with myself. And that's more important than passing the N.E.W.T.s; at least, it is to me."

Unsuspectingly, Professor Flitwick smiled at me, "Violet Carroll, you really have grown into an outstanding young woman. No matter what you decide to do, I want you to know that I'm proud of you." He held out his hand, and I shook it gratefully. "Good luck."

"Thank you, Professor Flitwick," I said. "I'll consider your advice."

When I returned to the dormitories, Jeff quickly assisted me in picking out an outfit. For afternoon tea, Jeff selected a pleated brown skirt and a loose-fitted cream sweater. I donned my Christmas pearls and a brown headband, grabbed the tin full of tea, and set off for Professor Lupin's office. I entered without knocking, which had become my habit. The old phonograph was spitting out scratchy, 1920s swing music.

"Ah, ten minutes early," Professor Lupin said, smiling at me as I entered his office. "Right on schedule. Did you bring the tea?"

"Yeah, right here," I said, placing the decorative tin on the desk.

"I'm heating up the water in the other room," he informed me. "We'll hear the kettle whistle when it's ready. Oh!" He gasped excitedly turning the volume up on the phonograph. "This is a good song. Do you know how to dance?"

I shook my head, "No, I don-."

"Well, it's never too late to learn," he said, pulling me forward. "Not that you're short on time."

"P-professor…" I stammered nervously. For the moment, that was all I could come up with. Why was dancing even more frightening than anything else I'd ever come up against? Couldn't I just battle another boggart? Or have brunch with my stepmother?

"Granted, I only know a few steps, myself…" he admitted. "At any rate, you're supposed to put your hand on my shoulder."

"Are you sure about this?" I asked, placing my shaking hand on his shoulder.

"Of course," he said, resting his strong hand on my waist. He reached down and grabbed my other hand, lacing our fingers together. "Just follow my lead."

"Alright," I nodded. _ I shouldn't be worried,_ I told myself, his gentle touch calming me down. _It's just dancing. Besides, he seems so excited…_

In one abrupt motion, we were gliding across the floor of the cramped office, dancing around the furniture. I kept my eyes on my feet, hoping that if I watched what they were doing, I wouldn't trip.

"Don't look at your shoes," Professor Lupin said softly. "Look at me. Don't worry about stepping on my feet."

"Right…" I said, laughing nervously. I shifted my focus up to his face, studying his features as we moved about. This close, I could see each scar clearly – I even found a few I hadn't noticed before – and I resisted the urge to reach up and trace them with my fingers. Why was everything about him so mesmerizing?

"And every once in a while, you throw in one of these," he said, letting go of my waist and twirling me around. I felt like a ballerina; smooth and graceful. It wasn't a feeling I was used to. I was smiling when he pulled me back, holding my body closer as we continued to move.

_This is so nice,_ I thought. _Why was I so apprehensive?_

"Then, if you're feeling brave…" he said, smirking as he dipped me, tightening his hold on my middle as he gazed into my eyes.

I gasped, holding onto the front of his tweed jacket. My heart pounded wildly, _Maybe this had something to do with it..._

"Don't be afraid," he whispered. "I won't drop you."

"I know," I said, giving in to the urge to caress his face.

I jumped out of my trance as a loud whistle pierced the air. I held my hand over my heart as a voice in the other room screamed, "_It's tea time!"_ Together, the two of us fell to the floor, landing in a tangled pile. My skirt flew up, and I blushed feverishly as I hysterically tried to pull it down, hoping that Professor Lupin didn't see my girly, bunny-printed panties.

If he did see them, he didn't mention it. He stood up, cringing with pain. "Sorry about that. The tea kettle is a bit obnoxious."

"I… I think my heart just stopped…" I mumbled, pushing myself up into sitting position. "Are you alright, Professor?"

"I'm fine," he assured me, offering me his hand. "Are you?"

"Yeah," I said, allowing Professor Lupin to help me up. "I've had worse falls than this. I did play Quidditch for four years. This is nothing."

"Have a seat," he said, pulling a chair over for me. "I'll be right back with our tea."

"_I said, 'it's tea time'! Hurry up!"_ the kettle shouted, letting out another, louder whistle. Lupin and I both threw our hands over our ears, wincing with pain.

"We heard you the first time!" he screamed once the sound had subsided. He grabbed the tea-tin off of the desk and disappeared into the back room.

_That was quite an adventure,_ I thought to myself, rubbing the arm I had landed on. _So much for being a graceful ballerina. But it was nice while it lasted._

"Here we go…" Professor Lupin said, returning to the office carrying our tea on a tray, along with a plate of cookies. "I'm sorry I dropped you, Violet; even after I told you I wouldn't."

"Don't worry about it," I said, pouring the tea from the delicate pot into the mismatched cups. "You fell too, so it doesn't count."

"Thank you," he said, lifting his cup and saucer off of the tray. He sipped the tea thoughtfully; I couldn't tell if he liked it or not.

I, however, made no attempt to hide my love of peppermint tea. My first cup was gone in seconds, and my second cup shortly after that.

"Professor, could… Do you think I could ask you about something?" I said, nibbling on one of the cookies.

"Of course," he said, setting his cup aside. "Is something troubling you?"

"No," I said. "Well, sorta… Not so much 'troubling' as 'bothering', really…"

"What is it?" he pressed. "You can tell me anything, you know."

"I know…" I said, clearing my throat. "It's just… I was wondering… I mean, it occurred to me today… What are you doing with me?"

He looked rather confused, "We're having tea, Violet. Are you sure you didn't hit your head?"

"What? No…" I said, shaking my head. "That isn't what I meant, Professor. I meant what are you doing with me… You know, in the general since."

He nodded slowly, "Oh…"

"I'm sorry," I said, reverting back to staring at my boots. "That was a stupid question. You don't have to answer that. I'll shut up now."

He placed his hand under my chin, tilting it up and forcing me to look at him, "Why would you ask something like that?"

I sighed, trying to avert my gaze, without any success. "I don't know," I confessed. "I was just thinking… Out of all the students here… I'm just not that special in comparison."

He sighed, "It's not like I intended to fall in love with a student, you know. This wasn't something I planned; in fact, I tried to pretend it wasn't happening, at first."

"Falling in love," I repeated, not paying much attention to anything he said after that.

"Well… yes," he said, getting up to pace across the office. He stopped at the window, looking at the dreary, snow-covered grounds outside. "I know that probably isn't something you want to hear from a shabby old werewolf, especially at your age. You're young; you have your whole life ahead of you. I understand if you don't want to tie yourself down-"

"No, Professor," I said, practically jumping out of my chair. "That's not what I meant." My hands quivered as I latched onto his arm, "It's just… you've never said that to me before. _No one_ has ever said that to me before. Not like this, anyway."

He smiled, wrapping his arms around me. I buried my face in his chest, listening to the sound of his heart while he sobbed quietly.

"I love you," I said, feeling my eyes tear up as well. "I think I have for quite some time, actually… Oh, please don't cry, Professor. If you cry, I'm going to cry, and then we'll just be a big blubbering mess."

He laughed, stroking my hair fondly, "Alright. Just… let me hold you for a moment."

I closed my eyes, "Take as long as you want; I'm in no hurry."


	22. Chapter 22

February rolled around before anyone knew it was even on its way, and before we were even a week into the new month, I was drug out to the Quidditch Pitch for the match that could make or break Ravenclaw's chance at winning the Quidditch Cup: Ravenclaw vs. Gryffindor. Slytherin had beaten us just a few weeks prior – Uncle Jack wrote me when he heard about it, saying that if _I_ was still on the team, we would have slaughtered them, but I doubt I would have made a difference – so this was our last shot. Jeff had French braided our Seeker, Cho Chang's hair before the game.

"_It's good luck to have a transvestite braid your hair",_ he had told her, and she looked a bit terrified as Jeff fixed her up. Personally, I believed that he just wanted an excuse to play with her beautiful black hair, but she seemed happy when she saw the final result.

It was a cold, windy day, but the skies were clear. My head was covered by the fuzzy cap Nana had knitted me for my eighteenth birthday; January twenty-fifth, just a few weeks before. The four of us took up our usual roost in the back of the stands, where we could chat without disturbing anyone when we didn't feel like paying attention.

"Gaah, damn that Oliver Wood," Ashley screamed, wagging her fist. "He keeps blocking our shots! What a jerk!"

"I think that's his job, dear," Aria said calmly.

"It's no loss," Jeff said, checking his makeup in his compact. "Our team looks so much prettier."

"Good looks aren't going to win us the match," I said, wishing I had brought a book to read. Ashley had convinced me that this would be exciting, so I l didn't bring one. Truth be told, watching Quidditch is kind of… boring.

"And Rodger Davies is looking _fine,_" Ashley said, not paying my comment any attention.

"Rodger Davies?" Aria questioned. "What happened to Cedric Diggory?"

"He's taking me out on Valentine's Day," Ashley sighed, sounding a bit bored. "So I figured I should probably think of another fantasy incase he's dull."

"Well, congratulations on your date," I said, offering her a polite smile. "I know you've been looking forward to it for quite some time."

Ashley giggled, "Thanks."

"What about you, Ari?" Jeff asked, putting his mirror back in his faux-snakeskin purse. "Do you have a Valentine's Day sweetheart?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," Aria said coyly.

"Oh ho _ho,_" Jeff crowed. "Who's the lucky man who gets to take out my beautiful Aria?"

Aria's cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink, and I couldn't help but feel relieved that the teasing was directed at someone else, for a change. She smiled, sat up straight, and said, "Eddie Carmichael."

I snorted back my laughter, "_Eddie?_ That _clown_?"

Ashley, on the other hand, made no attempt to hide her giggles, "You're really going to go out with that joker?"

"So what if I am?" Aria said defensively, crossing her arms. "Eddie happens to be very smart, _and_ he makes me laugh."

"He's not too ugly, I guess," Jeff sighed.

"I donno," I said, smirking. Finally, it was my turn. "I'm not sure if I _approve_ of my gentle Aria going out with someone like Eddie Carmichael."

"I don't have to get your approval," Aria said simply. "I'm _your_ mother."

"I'm afraid she's right, Violet," Jeff said. "Aria is a grown woman. Her daughter can't be making her decisions for her. Besides, you're almost out of the nest, anyway."

I rolled my eyes, "How about you, Jeff? Any Valentine's plans?"

"No…" he said sadly. "I asked Penelope Clearwater, but she said she's still dating that Weasley bloke. So I asked him if he wanted to do a threesome, but he just told me to bugger off."

"Awwww," Ashley cooed, patting his back. "Don't lose any sleep over it, Jeffey. It's their loss."

I stared at him blankly, "You know, every day I think, '_there is no way I could be more disgusted with you'._ But sure enough, the next day, you always prove me wrong."

"I could set you up, if you like," Ashley offered. "Would you rather go with a boy, or a girl?"

"I don't really care," Jeff said. "It's what's inside that counts."

"You don't really think that," I said. "You're the vainest person I know."

"Alright, it's settled, then," Ashley said, clapping her hands together. "It is up to me to find you a Valentine. I accept this mission, and promise I will do my best to complete it!"

"Good luck with that," I said, nodding. "You'll need it."

"I take it you have Valentine's Day plans with Professor Lu-Lu?" Ashley asked, leaning closer to me now that Jeff was taken care of.

I nearly gagged, "Professor Lu-Lu?"

"Mhm!" she squealed, nodding. "That's the pet name for him we came up with."

"You're Vi-Vi, and he's Lu-Lu," Jeff explained. "They go together just right, like the two of you!"

"Isn't that cute?" Ashley squeaked. "You can feel free to use it too, if you like. Just make sure you give us credit."

"I don't think I'm going to be calling Professor Lupin… _that name_ any time soon," I assured her. "And no, we don't have any plans that I know of. I assume we'll just hang out in his office."

"You can't exactly go out and do something romantic, huh?" Aria said sympathetically. "That must be lame."

"Naah, I really don't care," I shrugged. "I just like spending time with him. It doesn't really matter what we're doing."

The three of them tackled me into a hug, shouting and squealing their "Awwww!"s while I demanded they get off of me. Finally, after a good amount of kicking and screaming on my part, they released me. As I sat back up, four hooded creatures flew out onto the pitch.

I felt all the color drain from my face, and my hands shook violently, "T-those are…"

"Dementors," Aria finished for me, pulling me close to her. Ashley and Jeff held onto me as well, and I could barely hear Ashley whimpering over the gasps and screams of the crowd.

The four of us watched helplessly as the scene unfolded before us. The Dementors flew straight for Harry Potter – poor bloke, those blasted things seemed to have an affinity for him – and I bit down on my lower lip. Professor Lupin had told me that Potter had been seeing him every Thursday evening since the new term started – he warned me not to come visit him around that time – so Lupin could teach him the Patronus charm. I made a comment about how our relationship had started during Thursday evening tutoring, and Professor Lupin spent the next half hour assuring me that this new obligation wouldn't lead to anything romantic.

I had laughed then, but I wasn't laughing now. How could a boy take on _four_ Dementors? Only half of the seventh year class had mastered the charm, – we still practiced it about once a week – it was very difficult to perform. Harry Potter was the Boy Who Lived, sure, but it looked like that wouldn't be the case for too much longer.

From where we were sitting, it was hard to see exactly what was happening. Somehow, Harry had gotten ahold of a wand, and had cast a Patronus quite successfully. I couldn't clearly see what form it had taken – or if it was even mature enough to have a form at all – and the Dementors were knocked from their brooms and off of the Pitch.

_Wait,_ I thought. _Wait just one bloody second! Dementors don't ride brooms…_

"Hey, those weren't even Dementors," Aria said, frowning. "Those were students!"

"I think that one was that repulsive Flint fellow," Jeff said. He held his hands in front of his mouth, imitating Flint's crooked teeth – which he was known for – and turned to Ashley. "Roar, I'm a Dementor!"

"Ewww!" Ashley screamed, trying to push Jeff off of her. "Get off of me!"

"Raaaawr," Jeff said, moving his hands as if they were jaws as he spoke. "I'm going to snog you with my weird… Flint-teeth! Hahaha!"

"Ahhh!" Ashley screamed through her giggles, laughing as she dove under the bench. "Save me! Save me!"

"You guys can be so mean," I sighed, holding onto my knees in an attempt to stop my hands from shaking. "I would hate to hear what you used to say about me."

"Oh, it's all in good fun," Jeff said. "People make fun of me all the time."

"_Oh my goodness ladies and gentlemen!" _the commentator shouted excitedly. "_Potter's caught the Snitch! Gryffindor is going to the finals!"_

"Aww, shit," Ashley said sadly, crawling back out. The Gryffindor cheers overpowered any sulking noises our side might have been making. "That sucks."

"We played a good game," Aria sighed. "And after that little maneuver, I think little Harry deserves some glory."

"They weren't even real Dementors," Ashley grumbled, dusting herself off. "Let's go, I want some peppermint toad creams."

"You recover fast," I joked, getting up to stretch. We joined the rest of our house – in what an outsider might have thought was a funeral march – in walking back to the common room with our team. Though they had lost, we hoisted our captain Rodger Davies into the air and carried him back like a hero.

"Oh, Violet!" I heard someone call from behind me. I turned around, seeing Markus Gordon approaching me. His hair had grown a little bit, but his body hadn't. Standing next to me, he only reached my shoulders.

"Hey Mark," I said, stopping to chat with him. Markus and I had spent some time together when I was a Prefect, though because we were in separate houses, we normally didn't see much of each other outside of class. He was a bit of a pretentious snob, I'll admit, but when I cared about my reputation, it would have been below me to mock a fellow Prefect. Now that I cared about people's feelings, I continued to interact with him in order to avoid hurting him.

"Some game, huh?" he said, with that tone guys use when they're desperate to make conversation.

"I'm a little bummed," I said honestly. "I was hoping Ravenclaw would make it to the finals. But oh well. Maybe next year."

"Heh, right," he said, scratching his nose and adjusting his glasses. "Anyway, I had heard you don't have a Valentine's Day date yet."

_As a matter of fact, I do,_ my mind said smugly, but I held my tongue. If I said anything, he would undoubtedly ask me who. Besides, Lupin and I had no specific plans. "No," I said. "I don't."

"Well, I suppose I could take you," he said, adjusting his glasses again.

"You _suppose_ you could take me?" I repeated with distaste. "Well gee; I wouldn't want to put you through such trouble."

He sighed, "Look, do you want to go with me, or don't you?"

"No, Mark," I said dryly. "I'm not interested." I wanted to add, _And next time you ask a girl out, you shouldn't make it sound like it would be a burden on you to be with her,_ but I held that part back as I turned to leave. "I have to go; we're all going to dress in black and mourn our loss. I can't be late for that."

"You'll be sorry," he called after me. "When you're all alone on Valentine's Day, you'll be wishing you hadn't turned me down!"

I rolled my eyes, _Boys can be so immature. Maybe that's why I was never really attracted to anyone from my own age group? I guess if it's possible for an old person to be young at heart, a young person can be old at heart. Huh… _


	23. Chapter 23

Love was in the air on Valentine's Day morning. Everyone was running about, trying to make sure they looked their best before they set out for Hogsmeade and their romantic day out.

"Are you sure you don't want to go?" Aria asked me, for about the hundredth time while she removed the last roller from her hair.

"No, I'm fine," I assured her. "The three of you all have dates; I would just be sitting around by myself."

"You just wanna hang out with your beloved Professor Lu-Lu," Ashley teased.

"What's wrong with that?" I asked, crossing my arms defensively.

"A few months ago, you would have said, 'That is completely inappropriate'," Aria reminded me, imitating my tone.

I sighed, blushing slightly, "I was in denial."

"Does this skirt make my ass look big?" Jeff asked us. "Be honest."

"Jeff, you hardly _have_ an ass," Ashley said, with a hint of jealousy. "I think that skirt gives you a little more shape."

I stared at him blankly, "Isn't that mine?"

"Mhm," Jeff said, twirling around. "I borrowed it. What do you think?"

"Actually…" I said, pausing to study him. "It looks better on you."

"Don't feel too bad about it," Jeff said, grabbing his fuzzy purse and coat. "Everything looks better on me."

_Damn transvestite,_ my inner voice whispered darkly. _It isn't fair that _he's_ the prettiest girl in your class._

"Well, we need to get going," Aria said, wrapping her scarf around her neck. "Are you sure you'll be alright?"

"I'm sure," I said, beginning to get frustrated. "You go on; have a good time. I'll see you tonight."

"Bye Vi-Vi!" Ashley squealed, waving at me as they left the dormitory.

I wandered over to the window and watched the huge group of students leave the grounds. I searched for my friends, but that was just an impossible game of 'Where's Waldo'. Once the last lovesick student was out of my sight, I decided it was time to take my leave. I grabbed the box of chocolates – a new, full box this time – from under my pillow and headed for my usual destination.

_I wonder if we'll do anything special today,_ I thought as I arrived. I was grinning from ear to ear as I grabbed the handle and pushed the door open-

But the door wouldn't open. I jiggled the handle roughly and pushed harder, but it was no use. It was locked.

"Awwww, locked out?" Professor Snape mocked, causing shivers to run up and down my spine. How can guys like that always sneak up on you without making a sound? "How sad."

I turned around to face him, feeling my hands start to tremble, "Good morning, Professor."

"Dumped by a werewolf," he said sympathetically. "I imagine that would be a _terrible_ feeling."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said, proud of myself for not stuttering or having to pause to collect my thoughts.

"Uh-huh… And, what are those?" he asked, pointing to the chocolates.

"Um… These are for you," I said, shoving the box into his arms. "Happy Valentine's Day, Professor Snape. Someone told me you like the ones with the caramel center."

"You know," he said intriguingly. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you actually had _feelings_ for him…" When my throat tightened up and I couldn't respond, he smirked, "You _do_, don't you?"

"I…"I choked. So much for being proud of myself.

"This is almost too good…" Snape said, cackling evilly. "Thank you for the chocolates, Miss Carroll. I really do like the ones with the caramel center. Enjoy the rest of your day."

_I really hate that guy,_ I thought as I watched Professor Snape disappear down the hallway. _And those chocolates were expensive!_

I waited outside Professor Lupin's office for almost an hour, but he never showed up. I sighed, giving up and returning to my dormitory.

"I know we didn't make any plans specifically," I told Goober as I paced back and forth. "But I missed Hogsmeade so we could spend time together. I mean, it's Valentine's Day." I looked to my ratty stuffed animal for a response, but he made no comment. I heard a tapping on the window, and when I looked up I found a tiny gray owl, waiting to be let in. He had a note attached to his leg.

"Hey you," I greeted the little bird as I opened the window. I untied the message, surprised to see my name written on the front. The owl took off; obviously, I wasn't supposed to send a response. I shut the window, tugging my jacket around me tightly before I unfolded the note:

_Meet me by the statue of the One-Eyed Witch at seven o'clock. Make sure you bring your coat._

_Remus John Lupin_

"Not quite as romantic as his last letter," I shrugged, plopping down on my bed. I held the parchment over my heart and smiled, "But at least now I know he didn't _totally_ ditch me."

Waiting until seven o'clock was miserable. I tried to pass the time by reading, but not even the most exciting book would hold my attention for long. They say that 'curiosity killed the cat'; it was killing me, too. Finally, after an evening of anticipation, I showed up at the One-Eyed Witch, wearing my navy trench coat over the dress Aria and Ashley had given me for Christmas. Professor Lupin was leaning against the statue, waiting for me.

His face lit up the second he saw me, "It's almost seven; I was beginning to think you weren't coming."

"Hehe, sorry," I said. "Your note said seven o'clock."

"I just figured you would be here early," he said, rising to his feat. He brought his cane with him, which suggested we would be doing a lot of walking; on the night I elected to wear pumps, of course. "Oh well, no matter," he turned to the witch, clearing his throat, "Dissendium." Much to my surprise, the hump of the statue's back opened up, revealing a passageway.

"Wow…" I gasped, peering inside. "Where does this lead?"

"Honeydukes," he told me, holding out his free arm, which I took gratefully.

"Don't tell Ashley about this," I joked as Professor Lupin led me down the passage. "She would be sneaking down here constantly."

"We'll just keep this our little secret, then," he said. "Ah, here we go," he said as we approached a rickety wooden staircase, which seemed to just lead up to the ceiling. However, when Professor Lupin pushed up on the ceiling with his cane, it moved, revealing the other outlet of the passageway. When I walked up the staircase, I found myself in the middle of what appeared to be a storage room.

"We're in the cellar," Professor Lupin explained as he re-covered the secret staircase. He took my arm again, leading me up another – sturdier – staircase and out into the shop. The elderly man behind the counter was dozing, and the few late night customers paid us no attention as we left the store.

"Professor-"

"Please," he interrupted, looking at me lovingly. "If you don't mind; tonight, I would like it if you called me Remus."

"Remus…" I repeated with a grin. I liked the taste his name left in my mouth. "What exactly are we doing?"

"You'll see," he said mischievously. We walked through the snowy, sleepy town together; the students had returned to Hogwarts, and the townspeople to their tiny homes. I was just about to ask where we were going again when we arrived at the edge of town; at the barbwire fence that blocked off the Shrieking Shack.

"After you," he said, stepping down on the lower wire and pulling the other one up, creating a large enough opening for me to step through.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked skeptically as I stepped through the gap. I put my foot down on the wire, ready to hold the opening up for him as well.

"Yes, I'm sure," he said, joining me on the other side.

"But this is the most haunted building in England," I reminded him. "Surely we're not… Going _inside_."

"Of course we are," he said, looking at me as if _I_ were the one making the crazy suggestion. "Besides, it isn't really haunted."

"How do you know?" I asked, struggling to keep up with him as we hiked up the snow-covered hill. Snow was starting to make its way into my shoes.

"The Shrieking Shack was where I went during my transformations when I attended Hogwarts," he explained to me. "The townspeople mistook all the ruckus I made for angry spirits. Dumbledore helped spread that rumor, too."

"I see…" I said, nodding as I took it all in. Secret passageways and fake haunted houses; I was learning a lot.

"We didn't have Wolfsbane potion in those days," he continued as we got closer to the shanty. "So when I transformed, I always transformed completely. I became a monster in every since of the word."

"You're not a monster, Prof-… Remus," I said, tightening my grip on his arm.

"Let's not talk about this now," he said gravely. "Let's just get inside before we freeze."

"How do we get in?" I asked, happy to move on to another subject. "I thought there were no entrances…"

"No _natural_ entrances, anyway," he said as we rounded the corner, to the side of the shack that wasn't visible from town. "But there should be a hole… right here."

"Are you sure we'll fit through that?" I said, eyeing the hole suspiciously. "It's awful small…"

"Well, it might be a bit of a squeeze for me," he said, chuckling. "But you have nothing to worry about. Go on; ladies first and all that."

_You don't have to tell me twice,_ I thought, eager to get out of the cold snow. I had lost almost all the feeling in my toes as I got down on my knees and shimmied through the crawlspace. It wasn't much warmer inside, but being out of the wind was a vast improvement.

The inside of the Shrieking Shack was just as tattered as the outside. The wood floors creaked as I walked across them, and the walls were unfinished. The furniture was in shreds; most of it in piles of splintered wood, paint and cloth. Every inch of the room was covered with dust. I looked behind me, and found a distinct trail of footprints where I had stepped.

"What do you think?" Professor Lupin asked as he joined me, dusting himself off. "Homey, isn't it?"

I laughed, "With a little TLC, it could be quite nice."

"This way," he said, placing his hand on my shoulder, guiding me down the hallway. "I've got a little surprise for you."

"Ohhhh," I cooed excitedly. "I wonder, what could it…" I trailed off, staring wordlessly at the bedroom he had led me to. Unlike the rest of the house, everything was completely spotless. Plain, scentless candles levitated around the room, illuminating it. An antique bed sat in the corner, the iron frame was rusting profusely, but the mattress was covered in what appeared to be fresh sheets and blankets. The dresser was scuffed, and half of the gold-colored knobs were missing. An old, rickety table with two mismatched chairs sat in the middle of the room; two plates of pasta were waiting for us, as was a basket of bread and two bottles of Butterbeer.

"I know it isn't much," he said. "But it was the best I could do. It took all day to get rid of all the dust in here..."

"Professor," I said breathlessly, swallowing back happy tears. "Eer, I mean, Remus… This is fantastic…"

"I hoped you would like it," he said, removing his coat. "We'd better eat right away; the charm I put on the food to keep it warm probably won't last much longer."

"It looks delicious," I said, taking off my hat, gloves, and coat, placing them on the bed. I shivered; my short, black dress probably wasn't the best garment as far as keeping warm goes.

Professor Lupin stared at me, his eyes growing to twice their normal size, "Violet…"

"Hmmm?"

"Y-you look stunning," he said, trying – and failing – to compose himself as he pulled a chair out for me.

"Thank you," I said, thankful that my blushing would at least warm up my face as I sat down. "You look very handsome yourself."

"I look the way I always look," he shrugged, taking his seat across from me.

"Exactly," I said, grinning as I helped myself to the bread. I nibbled at my slice for a bit before I decided to take an adventure and try the pasta. I dipped my fork into it, not really sure what it was I was eating. It tasted delicious, however, and it took all of my willpower to eat slow and ladylike, instead of shoveling the noodles into my mouth like a starving animal.

"Do you like it?" Professor Lupin – I'm sorry, Remus – asked me after a long silence.

I nodded, swallowing the food in my mouth before I spoke, "Yes, it's wonderful. This is so romantic…"

"I'm glad you feel that way," he said, smiling at me. "I realize that this isn't the most extravagant thing to do on Valentine's Day."

I shook my head, scraping the final traces of sauce from my plate with the last sliver of bread, "I don't really care much for extravagance. I think I prefer this to a big, fancy outing, actually. It's so much more personal."

He smiled, "Did you get enough to eat?"

"Yes," I said, dabbing the edges of my mouth with my napkin. "I'm completely stuffed. That was so delicious…"

"Oh, yes," he said, rising to his feet to pace around the room, the way he did when he had something on his mind. "It was, wasn't it?"

"Remus, are you alright?" I asked, cautiously approaching him. I crossed my arms over my chest in an attempt to keep warm. Yes, wearing a little black dress, while sexy, isn't such a good idea in the middle of February.

"I'm fine," he said, nervously and hurriedly. "Are you cold? You look cold."

"Hmm, a little," I said, trying to brush it off. "I'll be fine. Are you sure there's nothing bothering you? If there is, we can talk abo-"

In one swift motion, he pounced, nearly knocking me to the floor. He held me tightly in his arms – so tight that it was a struggle to wiggle my arms free to return the embrace - planting his lips firmly over mine. This kiss was different, somehow. He was still tender and gentle, but something else lingered just below the surface as he explored my mouth. Lust, maybe? No, it couldn't be…

His lips seemed to be everywhere at once; my mouth, my cheek, my neck. I kissed back when I could, moaning and whimpering his name over and over; I hated how pathetic I sounded. My whole body trembled as he pushed me towards the bed, and before I realized what was happening, I felt the weight of his body on top of me and the springs from the mattress pushing up into my back. I felt his strong, gentle hand find a resting place on my thigh, and eventually it started back up to my waist, pushing up my dress along the way.

"P-p-professor Lupin!" I stuttered, forcing my mouth free. My cheeks felt as though they were on fire, and I was shaking more than ever.

"I'm sorry!" he panted, frantically crawling off of me. His face was completely devoid of color, and I think I saw a few new gray hairs. He looked utterly horrified. "I knew this was a stupid idea. I _knew_ it…" He dangled his legs over the edge of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands.

I gulped, "It wasn't stupid…"

"Yes, it was," he said firmly. "I don't know what in the world made me think you'd want… I kept justifying it to myself. All day I thought to myself, _no one else would take care of her the way I would. At least I can offer her that_."

My heart leapt into my throat; I really was the luckiest person in the world.

"I should have known," he whimpered, his voice muffled by his hands. "Of course the thought of laying with me would frighten you. I'm a _werewolf_; it would frighten anyone."

"No, Remus…" I said softly, gathering up a little confidence before I crawled over to him. I thought my shaky hands would collapse under me as I moved, but somehow I got across the bed. I tucked my legs under me and rubbed his back, the way Aria always did for me when I was upset, "Please don't talk like that. I'm not frightened."

"Yes, you are," he said. "You're shaking."

"I'm cold," I said.

He shook his head, "You always shake like that when you're scared."

"Okay, so maybe I _was_ a little startled," I admitted. "But it wasn't because I'm afraid of _you,_ Remus. I'm a nervous wreck, you know that. I just… I didn't see this coming, and it all happened so fast…" I cupped his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. I smiled warmly as wipe his clear blue eyes free of tears before I kissed him. He resisted at first, but he gave in the second my tongue touched his lips. Ah, this was the kiss I was used to. I grabbed onto his collar, leading him back onto the bed without breaking our connection. We both stretched out on our sides, a small gap between our bodies as we kissed each other delicately.

Finally, I broke away, closing the space between us as I did so. My cheeks burned and my heart pounded with determination as I whispered into his ear, "Take me."

"Violet!" he said, sounding almost hysterical. When I looked back into his eyes, however, he looked overjoyed. "Are you sure…?"

I nodded, "I'm sure."

"Now Violet," he said, looking at me seriously. "This isn't something you can just… take back later. I don't want you to do something you'll regret."

"I won't regret it," I assured him. "Remus… You've been so kind to me. I love you; and I can't think of a better way to show you just how much."

He placed his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me back into a tender, passionate kiss. He ran his hands through my hair while I struggled with his tie, tossing it aside when I finally got it off. Once I had accomplished that feat, I began working on the buttons of his shirt, fumbling with them awkwardly for quite some time before Remus decided to stop snogging and assist me.

It was the first time I had seen his bare chest, and it was absolutely breathtaking. He wasn't quite as hairy as I had imagined – I figured, being a werewolf, he would be completely covered; not that I was disappointed… - and his pale flesh was covered with scars similar to the ones on his face.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Oh, yes… Perhaps I should have mentioned something before…"

"What… How…" I stammered, hesitantly touching the scarred tissue with my quivering fingers.

He sighed, "Remember how I told you about my transformations during my school days?"

I nodded, "Mhm…"

"Well, away from humans to bite… I would bite and scratch myself instead," he confessed.

"That's so awful…" I said, tearing up a bit as I pushed his hair out of his eyes.

He sighed again, this one sounding even more miserable than the last, "I understand… If seeing… _me_ made you change your mind."

"Of course I haven't changed my mind," I said, kissing him softly. "I want you more than ever."

"It's an honor I don't deserve," he said, caressing my face with the back of his hand.

"You deserve it more than anyone," I assured him, knowing that in reality, he deserved more. "Now, please…" I begged, "Make love to me, Remus. I think I'll lose my mind if you don't do it right now."


	24. Chapter 24

I opened my eyes slowly, not quite sure where I was. The air around me felt icy against my exposed skin, and I could see several candles levitating around me. For a second, I thought I had woken up in the middle of some satanic ritual, but then I felt a gentle hand caress my face, and I remembered exactly where I was. I turned my head and saw Remus, propped up on his elbow, smiling at me.

"I'm cold," I whimpered, saying the first thing that came to mind.

"Oh, right," he said frantically, pulling a quilt up around me as he tugged me close. Only the top of my head poked out over the edge of the blanket, "Is this better?"

I nodded, "Remus… That was so…"

"I know," he said smugly, kissing my forehead. "You enjoyed it so much… I've never felt like… well, like such a man, Violet. Forgive me if I sound a bit arrogant, but I've never been much of a lady's man; I've certainly never made a woman pass out from pleasure..."

"I love you," I said, frantic and still completely breathless. "Remus Lupin, I want to be with you for the rest of my life." I was babbling; I knew I was babbling. But I couldn't stop. "I'll never let another man touch me like this. You were wonderful; so loving and gentle… I can't imagine being with anyone else! I love you so much…"

"I love you too," he whispered softly, holding me snugly. "I still can't believe this is happening. You're so beautiful… I think I'll always feel a little guilty about stealing your innocence."

"You didn't steal _anything,_" I said, clinging to his chest. "And besides, it's just like you said; no one else would have taken care of me like that. Thank you."

I felt him kiss the top of my head, "And now you're _thanking_ me… You're forever welcome, Violet; even though I'm the one who should be thanking you. It's been so long…"

I'm sure I was blushing like a maniac, and I wanted to cry. Why did I want to cry? This was one of the happiest moments of my life.

"It's getting late," he said solemnly, sitting up in bed. "We should probably be going back."

My heart sunk, "No…"

"We can't spend the _whole_ night in here," he said. "Someone will realize you're missing."

"I'm sure Aria will cover for me," I said, though I knew she would probably freak out the most if I were to go missing. But at the moment, I didn't care. "Can't we stay, please?"

He groaned, "You're not making this easy for me, Violet…"

I grinned, "That's the idea."

"We'll freeze in here," he protested.

"We can keep each other warm," I said, opening my arms wide. "Please? I want to sleep next to you. I can't imagine going back to my dormitory and sleeping alone. We can… You know…" I gulped, watching my hands start to tremble. "I'll let you do it to me again, if you like."

"I'm too old for this…" he said, smiling as he slid back under the sheets and into my arms.

The next time I awoke, it was morning, and bright sunlight was seeping through the cracks in the walls. I heard a bird chirping outside as I pulled the quilt tightly around me, rolling over on my side. Lupin was already up, dressed, and putting the candles into an empty drawer in the dresser.

"G'morning," I yawned.

He looked over at me, smiling affectionately. Suddenly, it wasn't quite so chilly, "Good morning, Violet. Did you sleep well? You didn't get too cold, did you?"

I shook my head, rubbing my eyes. "No, I wasn't cold. You're really warm."

He laughed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He tucked some stray hair behind my ear, and then leaned in for a quick kiss, "I'm glad I could be of service."

"How about you?" I asked, cheeks burning. "How are you this morning?"

"My back is a little sore," he groaned. "But I suppose that's nothing new." He rested his forehead against mine, looking deep into my eyes, "You need to get dressed; I'm afraid we have to go back to the real world for the time being."

I sighed, grabbing my dress and panties off of the floor, "I wish this could last forever."

"Me too," he said, turning away from me while I dressed, like a true gentleman. "But we both have obligations we have to fulfill."

"I feel so guilty," I said, slipping my dress over my head. "This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done from me, and I only got you a box of chocolates."

"You didn't give me anything…" he said.

"No," I sighed, adjusting the dress. "I sort of… gave them to Professor Snape instead."

He turned around, looking at me oddly, "You have my Valentine's Day gift to Professor _Snape_?"

"It's a long story," I said, putting my stiff pumps back on. "He cornered me and… Well, I panicked."

He laughed, pulling me into his arm, "It's alright; last night was the best gift anyone could have ever given me. Thank you for talking me into staying."

"Thank you for staying," I said, resting my head on his shoulder.

"You're not planning on sharing that gift with Professor Snape as well, are you?" he joked, snickering.

I blushed, shoving him playfully, "Not in a million years. Come on, let's get going."

"Wait," Remus said, grabbing his cane. "We're going back a different way. There's another passage that will take us straight to the grounds."

I blinked, following after him while I tugged on my coat, "Why didn't we just take that one yesterday?"

"Because," he said, grabbing onto my hand, tugging me down into what appeared to be the basement. "It leads to the Whomping Willow, and I know how skittish you can be. But since we're pressed for time, I figured we should take our chances."

I gulped, "Oh…"

"Don't worry," he said, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. "I know how to calm it down. There's a knot on the side of the tree that paralyzes the tree when you touch it."

The basement turned out to be another tunnel, and we walked in pleasant silence, holding hands and looking at each other every once and awhile. My body was sore and stiff now that I was up and moving, but I didn't let it bother me.

_I wonder if things will be different now,_ I thought. _I'll probably never look at Remus Lupin the same way again. Not that that's a bad thing; I love him even more after all this. _

"You wait here," he said when we reached the end of the tunnel. "I'll call you out once it's safe."

I nodded, watching him fondly as he crawled up through the hole. _He's such a gentleman. When I went out with guys my own age, they wouldn't even hold the door open for me. Remus is so kind and loving and charming; so what if he's a werewolf? If someone can't see past that, they don't deserve to be with him. Not that I _do_, but…_

"Alright," I heard him call. "Come on out!"

I gulped, clenching my shaking fists as I stepped out into the sunlight. I was momentarily blinded – which I counted as a blessing, especially if I was about to be clubbed to death by a possessed tree – and I staggered around clumsily for a few moments until my vision returned. I saw Lupin standing several yards away, pointing his wand at the Whomping Willow – I assumed using magic to apply pressure on that special knot he told me about – and I scurried towards him.

"Safe and sound," he said, sticking his wand back in his pocket. We turned and walked towards the castle together, and I swear I felt one of the Whomping Willow's vines snap at my tush.

"I… I guess I should get back to the common room," I said hesitantly. I didn't want to go, but what else was I supposed to do?

"Yes, I suppose you should," he sighed. "But feel free to visit me in my office this evening, if you can."

My face lit up instantly, "Sure! I'll be there!"

"Violet!" I heard Margret's shrill voice call, and when I peered over Lupin's shoulder, I saw her running towards us.

_Shit, I've been caught._

"Where were you last night?" she demanded. "Oh, good morning, Professor."

"Good morning, Miss Cambell."

"Violet, where the bloody hell have you been?" she repeated. "And where are those friends of yours?"

"My friends?" I questioned. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me," Margret spat. "None of you came back to the common room after yesterday's Hogsmeade visit. I covered for you, but only because-"

"You mean my friends are missing?" I asked hurriedly, a small part of me grateful to Margret for not telling Flitwick or anyone that I was gone.

She smacked her forehead, "Violet, just tell me; where are-"

"Violet!" Aria cried, appearing like an angel from heaven. She looked less angelic than usual; her hair was a mess, her makeup smudged, and dark circles bogged down her eyes. "There you are! I was just looking for you."

"Ari…" I said breathlessly. "You… What's happening?"

"You have to come to the hospital wing, right now!" she said, grabbing onto my arm and pulling me along.

"Wait!" I said, trying to pull myself free. "What's going on?"

"It's Jeff!" she sobbed. "Jeff's been hurt!"


	25. Chapter 25

Author's Notes

Okay kids, I know you're all upset about what may or may not have happened to our beloved Jeffey-poo, but sadly, you will not find out in this next installment.

But _instead,_ I have another Jeff-based surprise for you! Since everyone seems to love him so much, I decided to write a little present for all the fine people who reviewed; a flashback chapter, narrated by everyone's favorite pansexual-transvestite, Jeffery Flanders! In this super-special chapter, we will get a glimpse at how Jeff grew up and how he met all three of his girls. We also get to see the much feared old-Violet. I hope you like it, and we will resume our main story arc in Chapter Twenty-Six!

*

I was three years old when I first realized there was something different about me. They say you don't have any vivid memories of your early childhood, but this is the sort of thing one doesn't forget. My father came home from work early to find his wife passed out on the sofa and his son in the bathroom, trying on his mother's lipstick. He was completely furious, and I was too young to understand why. All I knew was that I looked pretty.

I never liked my father. He lacked any sort of personal style; always wearing plain black dress robes and slicking his hair back. I always thought he looked like a bird, and I always feared someday he would accidently poke my eye out with his pointy nose.

A few years later, my mother – a tall, round thing I always found extremely dull - enrolled me in a daycare so she could go back to work. Most of the other children there were still in diapers, but there was one other kid my age; a cute, bubbly girl with dark hair and chubby cheeks. Her name was Ashley.

"I am _so_ happy!" she giggled over and over again as she pulled me upstairs to her bedroom. "Someone to play with! Someone to play with!"

Her room was the most amazing place I had ever seen. The walls were painted a brilliant shade of pink, and were covered with pictures of unicorns and kittens and other girly things. Her toys were scattered everywhere; dolls, stuffed animals, plastic tea cups, and dress up clothes almost completely covered the floor. A play kitchen was set up in one corner, and a huge dollhouse in another.

"It's so pretty…" I said in amazement.

She laughed, "Do you want to play with my dolls, Jeffey?"

"Am I aloud to?" I asked timidly. I could picture my dad's furious face in my mind clearly, he would probably beat me if I even _thought_ of me playing with dolls.

"Of course you are!" Ashley said, thrusting one of her natty-haired figurines into my hands. The doll's hair was a frizzy mess, and someone had drawn a star on the side of her face with a marker. It was the most beautiful doll I had ever seen.

"My dad said I'm not allowed to play with dolls," I said, cradling the figure gently. I was afraid that if I griped her too tightly, she would shatter in my hands. It never occurred to me that she was made of durable plastic.

"Well, I don't care if you play with _mine_," Ashley said, pulling me over to the dollhouse. "I'm really good at sharing. And you won't drool on them like the babies do."

"Okay," I said, smiling while she explained what each individual room in the dollhouse was for. It was the neatest dollhouse ever; it even had a special room for the pet dinosaur. Thoughts of my father vanished instantly. If Ashley said it was okay, it was okay, right? There was no harm in it if Ashley said I could. They were her dolls, after all.

I had never been happier. Every morning I woke up excited to go back to Ashley's house. It was like stepping into another world. She taught me how to play dress up and how to braid hair and how to make pretend cookies. It was the first time I ever felt like _myself_.

But all things must come to an end.

When we were about six years old, Ashley and I put on a show for her neighborhood. It was an original script about two princess-sisters fighting over a button that could tell the future. Ashley's parents and neighbors thought it was hilarious. My parents, however, didn't find the sight of their one and only son in a frilly lavender gown amusing. My father drug me off the stage before we were even half finished, and I was never allowed to go back.

Despite their efforts to make me into a "normal" boy – enrolling me in an all-boys muggle elementary school, buying me toy trucks and race cars, ect. – I couldn't ignore how I really felt. As the years went by, I built up quite a collection in my closet; a few dresses that I purchased from garage sales, old makeup my mother had thrown out, fashion magazines, and anything else I could find that made me feel good. The phrase "in the closet" suited me perfectly.

I was both excited and terrified when I received my Hogwarts letter. The boys at school teased me and called me names, - for both my crooked teeth and for my girlish demeanor - and I would have preferred being at a school with other wizards. I packed my bags – bringing along as much of my secret collection as I could – weeks in advance, and I spent every second of free time I had imagining what Hogwarts would be like. I spent most of that time thinking about which house I would be in. The Flanders clan was primarily sorted into Slytherin, something my father was very proud of. However, my mother had been a Ravenclaw. I hoped I would be, too. I didn't want to be like my father.

Somehow, boarding the Hogwarts Express was both liberating and oppressive. I was overjoyed to be going off to the greatest school in the world, but the other, older students looked eleven feet tall and completely frightening. I found a car with another first year inside; a girl with beautiful auburn hair, whose name – I would learn later on – was Violet Carroll. She had her feet propped up on the seat across from her and was focusing on a book.

I tapped on the window, peeking inside, "Um, excuse me… But do you think I could-"

"No," she said flatly, not even taking her eyes off of the page to look at me. "Leave me alone. I'm trying to read."

"Oh… Sorry," I said, sulking away to find another seat. It suddenly occurred to me that all girls might not be as cheerful as Ashley had been.

"Are you looking for a place to sit?" A girl in another compartment asked. She had short, fluffy hair and large green eyes. "There's room in here."

"Alright," I said, feeling uplifted as I took my seat.

Another girl sat in the compartment as well. She was a bit chunky, and wore her dark brown hair in pigtails. She eyed me suspiciously for a few moments before she broke out into a huge smile, "Jeffey?"

My jaw dropped, "Ashley?"

"It is you!" she squealed – in the same way she did when we were little – as she dove into my arms for a hug. "Oh Jeffey, I knew we would see each other again someday!"

The blond girl smiled, "I take it you two know each other?"

I nodded, "Ashley's parents used to babysit me."

"This is my friend Aria," Ashley said, pointing to the other girl. "Ari, this is Jeff."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," she said politely. "I think the three of us will be great friends."

Perhaps Aria really does have the sight; that prediction proved to be true enough. The three of us soon became inseparable.

My first few years at Hogwarts were what you might consider normal. I did have gobs of natural talent, but I had no taste for studying, something Professor Flitwick often scolded me for.

During my second year, I fell in love for the first time. His name was Phillip Winters, and he was one year my senior. Phil was tall, blond, and handsome; with prefect teeth and a flawless complexion. It was innocent, pure love; the kind you can only have when you're that young. On Valentine's Day, I asked him to be my Valentine. He broke my jaw and knocked out three of my teeth.

While I was in the hospital waiting for my jaw to heal and my teeth to grow back, Dumbledore came to visit me. I was sure he was going to punish me; boys weren't supposed to fall in love with other boys. I was so afraid I thought I would pee my pants.

"Good evening, Mr. Flanders," the headmaster said, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I'm sorry!" I cried. "I'll never do it again!"

He tilted his head to the side, confused, "Do what, Mr. Flanders?"

I gulped, "You know… Tell a boy that I like him…"

"There's nothing wrong with liking someone," Dumbledore said, laughing lightheartedly.

"No," I shook my head. "Not just _like,_ but really like…"

"I know what you mean," he said, smiling at me. "You should never have to apologize for loving someone, Jeffery, even if they don't return your feelings."

"B-b-but," I stammered, bursting into tears. "It's wrong, isn't it?"

"Of course not," he said understandingly. "Love comes in all shapes and sizes. Have you always liked other boys?"

"Well, not specifically…" I said, blushing boyishly. "I like everyone about the same, really."

Dumbledore ruffled my hair, laughing, "You're a very special young man, Jeffery Flanders. From now on, I think it would be best if you be who you are."

"But what if-"

He held up his wrinkled hand, "If anyone tells you to do otherwise, you can tell them _I_ told you that you don't have to hide anymore."

Smiling hurt my mouth, but I couldn't help myself, "Thank you, Professor. Thank you so much!"

Dumbledore had given me the one thing I had needed all my life; approval from an adult. With his words in mind, I flourished. I started wearing makeup to classes, and dresses and skirts on the weekends. I kept my hair relatively short – just above my shoulders – but I decorated it with clips and glitter. Walking in three inch heels came naturally. I gained overwhelming confidence and vanity that rivaled that of the noblest wizards.

Ashley and Aria were both quick and eager to accept me, for which I was grateful. At first, I was mocked ruthlessly by my other classmates, but I decided not to let that bother me. In fact, as time went on, I learned to make fun of myself; I think that helped people understand, somehow. By the time we reached the end of our fifth year, I was comfortable enough with myself that I decided to tell my parents.

The second the word "transvestite" slipped past my lips, they threw me out. Suddenly a homeless pansexual-transvestite, I found myself wandering the streets for several weeks before I was – by chance – found by fellow Hogwarts student Margret Cambell, who allowed me to stay at her home for a few days; during which time I contacted Ashley, who eagerly invited me to spend the rest of the summer with her.

Our sixth year started out just like every other; I boarded the train, Violet Carroll and Margret Cambell mocked Ashley, Aria, and I, and at last we arrived at school. Looking back on it now, it's still hard to believe that the carefree students of Hogwarts would soon be under attack. If you had tried to warn any one of us, I'm sure we wouldn't have believed it.

Professor Flitwick gathered all of us in the common room on Halloween – the evening Filch's beloved Mrs. Norris had been petrified – and confided in us something Professor Dumbledore had advised him not to. However, Flitwick always placed great trust his students, and elected to share with us the legend of the Chamber of Secrets. Most of the students shook it off as just superstition; it was far more likely that a student was playing a prank, – and Flitwick even admitted it – there was no real danger.

One who _did_ take the warning very seriously was Violet Carroll. Perhaps it was because she was a muggle born, but regardless of the reason, she was never the same again. As the attacks became more and more frequent, people started taking bets on how long it would take her to completely snap. My money was on early-February.

It happened much sooner than that, – in mid-December, to be exact – and at the time, I considered myself very lucky to witness the grand event. A younger, muggle-born student had been attacked, and the whole school was terrified. None more so than Violet; she hadn't bathed for days and her hands were shaking constantly. Her hair stuck out of her pony tail in every direction, and the dark circles under her eyes proved that she hadn't been sleeping. There was a rumor going around that she was being kicked off of the Quidditch team, and I knew that her prefect status was in question (Margret Cambell made _that_ no secret).

"Just look at her," Ashley whispered to me as we sat in the library, working on our History of Magic presentation. "She looks like she belongs in a loony bin."

"How can she write like that?" I asked. "I can hear the parchment shaking from all the way over here."

"Don't talk about her like that," Aria said somberly. "Don't you even feel just a _little_ bad for her?"

"No," I said quickly.

"And you know you're a bitch when Jeffey can't sympathize with you," Ashley said dreamily. "He's a transvestite with a heart of gold."

I sighed, "I donno, I just can't make myself feel bad for her. She's beautiful – or at least, she used to be – but she's so… cold."

"Violet, I need to talk to you," Margret said in her most cheerful voice. As happy as the rest of us were about the tyrant's fall from grace, Margret relished in it.

"S-s-sure," Violet stuttered. It was so hard to believe that her voice used to send shivers down my spine. "What's up?

She sighed with fake sympathy, "Violet, I don't know how to tell you this, but… Well, your prefect status is being revoked."

I swear, Violet's jaw hit the floor, "W-w-what?"

"Professor Flitwick, the rest of the prefects, and I sat down and talked about it," she said, doing a terrible job of hiding her delight. "And we think, given your current… state, that this is for the best."

_There's no way this was Flitwick's idea,_ I knew. _He adores Violet. Margret must have pushed him into it._

"So please," Margret said, holding out her flawless, manicured hand. "Give me your badge. This really is for the best, Violet. You'll be much happier without the extra respons-"

"Fine," Violet snapped, ripping her badge off of her robe and shoving it into Margret's grasp. "Take it. I don't care anymore."

"Which is exactly why it has to be this way," said Margret. She ran her thin fingers over her new treasure fondly before she slipped it into her pocket. "And just a tip, you might want to work on your penmanship; how can you expect anyone to _read_ this?"

"Wow, that was harsh," Aria whispered as we watched Margret glide gracefully out of the library. Violet went back to work, her parchment rattling more than ever.

"You know, I think I never really noticed what a bitch Margret was," Ashley said absently. "Violet was always queen bitch, and now that she's been tossed from her throne, Margret's really starting to shine."

I nodded, "She really seems to be enjoying this, huh?"

"That's why I feel so bad for her," said Aria. "Margret used to be her friend."

"She wasn't _really_ her friend," Ashley reminded us. "They used to spend all their time trying to think of ways to beat each other. It was all just for show, on _both_ sides."

"But I just _can't_ feel sorry for her," I said. "After the way she's treated everyone all these years, I can't help but feel like she deserves-"

"I know you're talking about me!" Violet snarled. _That_ was the voice that made little children cry and elderly women weep. "I'm not deaf, you know!"

Aria forced herself to smile, "Violet-"

"Oh, shut up!" she screamed. "Just shut up! I don't want your fake pity, Aria! I am so sick of you feeling sorry for me! Shut up! Shut up!"

"Miss Carroll!" the librarian gasped. "You cannot yell in the-"

"I'll yell wherever I want!" she bellowed at the poor old woman, who looked a bit terrified. "I'll yell wherever I damn well please!"

"Get _out_ of my library!" the wrinkled old witch said, pointing towards the door. "Right now!"

Violet's face scrunched up, and I expected her to completely erupted, spilling hot, molten word-lava all over the little, poorly dressed old lady. However, all that came out was a tiny, "Fine." Violet returned to her table and started shoving her books and papers into her bag with shaking hands, not seeming to care of her parchment got wrinkled and ripped.

I gulped, finally understanding why Aria felt sorry for her. Her whole world was falling down around her. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have to constantly worry about dying every time you turned a corner. Taking a bold step forward, I placed my hand on her shoulder, "Violet, please-"

"Don't touch me!" she shrieked, glaring at me with tear-filled eyes as she pushed me away. "Don't you _ever_ touch me! I'll hex you if you ever touch me again!"

"Okay…" I said, watching her storm out of the library. _Poor Violet…_

Later that night, I awoke to the sound of whaling cries and sobs. I tried desperately to get back to sleep, but it was no use. At last, I allowed my curiosity to get the best of me, and I slipped into my fuzzy bunny slippers and snuck down to the common room.

"I'm j-just so frightened!" I heard Violet sob as I approached the bottom of the stairs. "I'm frightened Aria! I've never been this frightened in my entire life!"

"There there," Aria cooed. I watched her pull Violet into her arms, stroking her tangled, unwashed hair. Only a true mother would want to touch _that._ "It'll be fine. Shhh, don't cry."

"I feel so pathetic," Violet whimpered. "Every time I'm alone I start shaking and crying… What if I'm next? Oh I just can't take it! I don't want to die!"

"Shhhhh," Aria whispered. "You'll be alright, Violet dear. If being alone bothers you, I… Well, I'll just make sure you're never alone."

It was the single most touching thing I had ever seen. I felt like I would explode from overexposure to cuteness as I dove onto the sofa, wrapping my arms around the two girls, careful not to get anywhere near Violet's nasty hair. "Awwww! That's just about the sweetest thing that's ever happened!"

"Jeffery, let go!" Violet hissed, trying to wiggle free.

"No," I said, giggling. "From now on, you're my baby girl. I promise to take care of you forever and for always!"

"Wonderful," she grumbled darkly. "I think I'd be better off as monster bait."


	26. Chapter 26

Jeff looked terrible. He had a huge black ring around one of his eyes, and the whole other half of his face was puffed up like a balloon. One of his arms was in a cast, and his topless chest was covered with bandages. Ashley was sitting on the foot of his bed, painting his toes an obnoxious shade of blue that I could see from halfway across the room.

"Jeff!" I gasped, running over to him, stumbling in my heals. My feet were blistered from all the walking the night before and from running on the cobbled hallway floors.

"Vi-Vi!" Ashley said excitedly. "There you are! Where have you been? We were all so worried…"

"Who cares about that?" I said, grabbing on to Jeff's hand, only to find he had a splint on one of his fingers. I held onto it tightly with both of my trembling hands. "What happened to Jeff?"

Ashley sighed, "You remember when we were in our second year, and Jeffey fell in love with that Phillip bloke?"

I nodded, "Sure. I didn't know you guys very well back then, but I remember hearing about it."

"Well, the girl I set him up with is his ex, apparently," said Ashley. "And one of his old chums wrote him about it, and he was furious about the whole thing. So a bunch of those guys ganged up on poor Jeffey… It was just awful! They kept beating him and kicking him and hexing him… By the time Ari and I were close enough to do anything, they'd already done all this to him."

"Oh no…" I whimpered. I touched Jeff's hand to my lips, my tears sliding down onto his skin. "Poor Jeff…"

"Violet…" he said in a tired, hoarse voice.

Ashley gasped, almost knocking over the nail polish in surprise, "He's awake!"

"What?" I asked desperately.

"Y-y…" he stammered, stopping to have a little coughing fit.

"Don't strain yourself," Aria said, stroking his hair. She grabbed a cup of water off of the table and pressed it to his lips. "Take your time."

He pushed the cup away, "Y-you…"

"What?" I said again, frantically. "What is it, Jeff?"

"Your hair looks dreadful," he croaked.

I groaned, rolling my eyes as I dropped his hand, "_That's_ all you have to say?"

"A-and… I told you…" he continued. "Never… wear black with navy. W-what were you thinking? H-h-how could you come visit me… looking like that?"

I looked down at my wrinkled black dress, which was partially covered with my long navy coat. Did I really look that bad?

"He does have a point," Ashley said, chuckling. "You're a total mess. Hey, isn't that the sexy dress Ari and I got for you?"

"No," I said, closing my coat tightly around me.

"Oh ho-" Jeff coughed before he could finish his signature call, "_ho._"

"Shut up," I snarled.

Ashley giggled, "Awww, did our little Vi-Vi finally give herself to her beloved Professor Lu-Lu?"

_How do they_ always_ know?!_ My inner voice screamed as I blushed wildly. _They must be mind readers. That's the only possible explanation!_

"She's blushing," Jeff said, smirking with the good half of his face. "That means yes."

"That's so sweet," Aria said. "And on Valentine's Day, too. That's so romantic."

"Well, I'm a little disappointed, personally," Ashley said, turning her nose up at me. "I had hoped she would wait until she was married…"

"It's none of your business what I do," I grumbled. "And you're the _last_ person who should go around preaching about waiting."

She sighed, "I just don't want my daughter to make the same mistakes as I did."

I rolled my eyes, ready for a subject change. "So, how was Cedric?"

Ashley sighed, returning to her work on Jeff's toes. "He was even duller than I feared. All he wanted to talk about was school and Quidditch. Such a boring boy…"

"And what about you, Ari?" I asked. "How was Eddie?"

"He was fine," she shrugged, but I could tell by the twinkle in her eye that it was more than just fine. "I think we're going to see each other again."

"Two out of three good Valentine's dates isn't bad," Ashley said cheerfully. "And Vi-Vi even got some, so that's extra points for us."

I blushed, "Points? What points?"

"But Jeff got the tar beat out of him," Aria reminded her. "So that cancels out, right?"

I shook my head, sitting down on the bed with Ashley, "I love you guys. I mean, I _really_ love you. But you're completely bonkers."

"It must have been good," Jeff whispered to Aria, who nodded curtly.

"I can hear you, you know," I said dryly. "And nothing happened."

"Awww," Aria cooed, grabbing a hairbrush off of the table. "Let me fix your hair, dear."

"Yeah," Jeff croaked. "You look bloody awful."

"_She_ looks awful?" I heard a familiar voice say. I turned around, and – much to my pleasant surprise – I saw Professor Lupin, carrying a container of Chocolate Frogs in his hand. "_You_ look like you've just been run over by a train, Mr. Flanders."

"And I'm still the prettiest girl in the room," Jeff said, grinning at the new arrival.

_Please don't say anything,_ I begged. _If you really can read minds, please listen to me; don't say anything… I'm trying to talk to people with my mind. These three really are driving me crazy._

"What happened to you?" Professor Lupin asked.

"Some mean old boys beat on him," Ashley said. Her eyes landed on the Chocolate Frogs, and she licked her lips, "What are those for, Professor?"

"I brought these for Mr. Flanders," he said. "I thought he could use some chocolate. But it looks like it wouldn't hurt you girls to have some, as well."

"No," Ashley said. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt…"

"You're drooling," I said, gesturing to my lip. "You didn't have to come all this way, Professor."

"Nonsense," he said, smiling as he passed each of us a frog. "Mr. Flanders is one of your closest friends. I felt like I should at least stop by."

I sighed, holding onto the wiggling frog while I nibbled off his limbs so he couldn't hop away. Seeing Jeff in pain made it almost impossible to smile, but being around Professor Lupin made it almost impossible _not_ to smile. It's a strange situation to be in.

"Thank you for the chocolate, Professor Lu-Lu," Ashley said, giggling as she crumbled up the wrapper.

I smacked my forehead, _No…_

"What did you call me?" he asked curiously.

"Professor Lu-Lu," Ashley repeated with a smile. "Hasn't Violet been calling you that? It's the nickname we made up for her to call you."

"No, I can't say she's used that one yet," he said, smirking mischievously.

"Oh look," I said, hoping to quickly jump to another topic. "I got Merlin. Anyone wanna trade?"

"Why don't you use our nickname?" Ashley asked, clearly offended. "It's a perfectly good name! And then you'd match!"

"Because it's embarrassing," I grumbled, blushing slightly. "I already told you I don't plan on using it. _Ever._"

"We'd… match?" Lupin said curiously.

"Mhm!" Ashley nodded enthusiastically. "Vi-Vi and Lu-Lu!"

"Awww, I see," he teased, pinching my cheek. "That is cute, isn't it, Vi-Vi?"

"Don't encourage them," I said, rubbing my cheek. "Then they'll never leave me alone about it."

He laughed, wrapping his arms around my shoulders, pulling me close, "I can see why they like to tease you. You're cute when you're flustered," he said, resting his chin on the top of my head.

I blushed, holding onto his arms, "Yeah, yeah…"

"Awwwwwwww!" Ashley, Jeff, and Aria squealed together.

"You'd better not hog her," Ashley said, wagging her finger.

"Yeah," Jeff said. "You gotta share."

"What if I don't feel like it?" Lupin asked, pulling me closer.

_I'm so glad we're the only ones here,_ I thought, though admittedly, part of me enjoyed the attention. I was happy that four of the most important people in my life could get along.

"You can't have her all to yourself," Ashley pouted, crossing her arms.

"Yes," said Aria diplomatically. "We found her first."

"And there's three of us," Jeff said. "So we love her three times as much, and therefore we want three times as much Vi-time." He coughed a few times before he added, "Even if she does wear black with navy!"

"What's so bad about wearing black with navy?" Professor Lupin asked curiously.

"You can't wear black with navy!" Jeff screamed hoarsely. "It's a fashion sin; right up there with wearing white pants and not matching your shoes and your belt!"

"I suppose I'm not exactly a fashionista," Lupin chuckled.

"Obviously," Jeff snorted.

"Don't listen to Jeff," I sighed, finally allowing myself to lean back, relaxing in his arms. I wasn't even shaking anymore. "You look fine."

"I'm glad you feel that way," he said, kissing the side of my face.

Jeff wagged his good eyebrow – which looked a bit odd - "Oh ho _ho. _You two are being awful affectionate."

"Yeah, shouldn't you be worried about being caught?" Aria asked, concerned as always.

He sighed, "I know, but sometimes you need to cut loose and have some fun, right?"

"Oh, I'm sure you two did plenty of that last night," Jeff said, again wagging his one-eyebrow.

"How…" Lupin stammered, sounding a bit flustered. "Violet-"

"Shut up," I hissed at Jeff, throwing my Chocolate Frog wrapper at him. "And get your mind out of the gutter before I break your other arm."


	27. Chapter 27

It was a week and a half before Madame Pomfrey allowed Jeff to leave the hospital; she wanted to make sure his ribs grew back properly. Apparently, ribs are a bit tricky, and if you don't watch it, they'll keep growing right into your lungs. When he got out, most of the swelling on his face had gone down, and he was able to hide his bruises with makeup. There was one change to his appearance, however, that everyone noticed.

"Mr. Flanders, what on _earth_ are you wearing?" Professor McGonagall asked as he marched into Transfiguration on his first day back, his head held high.

"My new uniform," Jeff said, spinning around. His skirt flew up around him, revealing his hot pink panties and causing the rest of the class to erupt with laughter. "Aren't I pretty?"

"You look magnificent!" Ashley said, clapping. "So beautiful!"

"Dumbledore said it was alright," Jeff told McGonagall before she could protest. "I don't know why I didn't do this sooner. I've never felt more free!"

"That's wonderful, Mr. Flanders," McGonagall said, rubbing her temple with frustration. "But could you _please_ sit down? This isn't a fashion show and class has already started."

"But of course!" Jeff said, bowing gracefully before he took his seat at our table for three. Aria wasn't in Transfiguration with us. "By the way, thanks for letting me borrow your blue liner, Vi-Vi. It really pulls the outfit together."

I sighed, "It's not like you _asked_ to borrow it…"

"I didn't ask to borrow this sweater, either," he said, adjusting his tie. "But that doesn't mean I don't look like a sexy beast, now does it?"

It would be lying if I said I wasn't embarrassed by Jeff's uniform change. We got more stares than ever as we walked - or in Jeff and Ashley's cases, skipped – down the halls, and I still wasn't very comfortable with a lot of attention. But I decided to grit my teeth and bear it. After all, Jeff was there for me when I needed him most. Now it was my turn to support him, even if he was a creepy weirdo.

"I'm surprised people are making such a big deal out of this, honestly," I told Professor Lupin during one of our evening dates. "He's been wearing dresses to Hogsmeade for a long time now. It's not like people had no idea that he's a transvestite."

"That doesn't make him any less… peculiar," he pointed out. "But as long as he's happy, I suppose there's no harm in it."

I nodded, "He's smiling more than ever. By the way, thank you for coming to visit Jeff in the hospital. I think he really liked that. Not very many people came to see him; and he thrives on attention."

"Did the boys who did that to him ever receive punishment?" he asked, straightening a stack of essays before he put them aside. He looked at the next stack, looking more morose than usual as he picked it up for grading.

"They claimed self defense," I said bitterly. "But they hurt him bad enough that the Ministry might get involved. There's a chance they might get expelled. I guess Professor Flitwick threw a fit when he found out about the whole mess."

He smiled, "I'd imagine so. Flitwick has always had a soft spot for the students in his own house. Well, all of his students, really."

"Speaking of Professor Flitwick," I said, putting the essay I had been grading aside. Some of these third years had worse penmanship than me, which is saying something. Grading their homework was exhausting. "Do you think I could get your opinion on something?"

"Sure," he said, putting down his quill, giving me his full attention..

I cleared my throat, "How many N.E.W.T.s do you think I should take?"

Professor Lupin looked at me curiously, "Why wouldn't you take all of them?"

"Because I don't _want_ to take all of them," I groaned. Just thinking about suffering through seven N.E.W.T.s made me feel sick to my stomach. "If I decide I want to take over the boarding house, I won't even need test scores. I don't want to spend a ton of time studying for tests that aren't going to help me."

"So don't take them," he shrugged.

"It doesn't have to be all or nothing," I protested. "Maybe I could just do two or three… I'd feel like a loser if I blew them off completely."

"You want to know what I think?" he asked, not waiting for me to answer before he kept on going. "I think taking two or three N.E.W.T.s is a waste of not just your time, but also your talent. I'm saying this not as a lover or a friend, but as your teacher; I think it would be a shame to laze around now, after you've worked so hard for the last six and a half years."

"But what if I can't handle the stress?" I asked. In my mind I _knew_ there was no 'what-if' about it. Handling stress was no longer something I was good at. "And wouldn't it be better to do really good on two or three tests than take all of them and do terrible?"

"You _can_ handle it," he assured me.

I groaned, burying my face in my hands, "Why does everyone have all this misguided faith in me?"

"No one has _misguided_ faith in you, Violet," said Professor Lupin. He pried one of my quivering hands away from my face and kissed my fingers softly. "We just want to see you succeed. But you can't succeed if you don't _try._"

"But what if I fail?" I asked, fighting back tears. "I'm so sick of failing. And I'll let you and everyone else down."

He offered me a small, gentle smile, "I can't speak for anyone else, but the only way you could let me down would be if you didn't try."

I gulped, "This isn't what I wanted to hear…"

"It's what you _needed_ to hear," Lupin said. "You asked for my opinion, so I gave it to you."

"Fine," I grunted, rubbing the bridge of my nose. I could already feel the impending headache coming on, and the tests were still months away. "Fine. It'll make me a miserable, nervous wreck, and I'll probably want to hang myself from the top of the Astronomy tower, but I'll do it. I'll take all seven tests."

"You'll be fine," he said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "The N.E.W.T.s are only half as bad as they say, I promise."

I closed my eyes, resting my head on his shoulder, "Can't I just sleep with you in exchange for an 'Outstanding' on the Defense Against the Dark Arts test?"

He laughed, tilting my face up, "Isn't it a little late to put that offer on the table?"

"It was worth a shot," I shrugged, closing the space between our lips. The kiss only lasted for a few moments, however, because I pulled back with a sudden thought, "I just remembered something."

"What is it?" he asked, resting his forehead against mine. "I hope it was something important."

I grinned, "Isn't your birthday next month? I'm pretty sure you told me it's March something-or-other…"

"The tenth," he said. "I suppose it is sneaking up on me, isn't it?"

"That's sooner than I thought," I said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "What do you want to do?"

"We don't need to do anything special," he sighed. "It's just my birthday."

"Awww, come on," I coaxed. "We at least had tea on my birthday. Maybe we could have dinner? That would be nice, right?"

"Yes," he said, smiling. "That would be nice…"


	28. Chapter 28

"Owww!" I screamed. "Ari, you just burnt my hear! Watch what you're doing with that thing!"

"Oh, sorry," she said, tossing her spell-powered hair straightened on the bed. "I'm finished, anyway."

"I don't know why I had to straighten my hair," I said, looking at it in the mirror. "It looks exactly the same."

"That straightened doesn't just straighten," Aria said proudly. "It makes your hair soft and smooth, too. And you don't have to use hairspray to keep it that way."

"Okay," Jeff said, stepping out of the bathroom. He was wearing a ghastly hot-pink mini skirt and a tight white tank. "This is option number three. What do you think?"

"I think I'm going to throw up on you," I said dryly. "What in the world would make you think I would wear that? I mean, I understand that you're a bit demented, and those guys hit you in the head awful hard, but…"

"I'm with Vi on this one," Aria said, wrinkling her nose. "You should shave your legs if you're gonna wear miniskirts."

Jeff rolled his eyes, "I'm not a fag, Ari. And can't you just pick an outfit, Vi-Vi? I'm running out of stuff to model for you."

"Well… pick something tasteful!" I said. "I'm having dinner, not auditioning for _Chicago._"

Jeff gasped, "You should audition for _Chicago!_ Or better yet; I'll audition for Chicago!" Before Aria or I could stop him, he burst into song, "_Come on babe, why don't we paint the town, and all that jazz_!"

I smacked my forehead, "Jeff please… I can't believe these words are about to come out of my mouth, but it's almost 8:30, and I don't have an outfit to wear! I need you to focus!"

"Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist," he said, practicing his dance moves in front of the mirror. "I already picked out _your_ outfit. I had that picked out days ago. I just like being a sexy model."

I wanted to slap my forehead again, but I was afraid I would leave a bruise. "Jeff… Why would you do this to me?"

"It's not like you can go yet anyway," he said, slapping the inside of his thighs and winking at his reflection. "Ashley isn't back with the food."

"Can you at least show me my outfit?" I pleaded. "Or do you want me to go in my bathrobe?"

"It's hanging up in the loo," he said, not taking his eyes off of his reflection. "And please, don't wear that ratty old robe. I don't think even your beloved Professor Lu-Lu would want to touch you in that old rag."

I rolled my eyes, slipping into the bathroom just in time to avoid hearing Jeff's next solo. There, hanging on the hook usually occupied by my bathrobe, was my outfit. This was the sort of work I expected from Jeff: a beautiful, gray petal skirt embroidered with violets, a white cami with a lace collar, and a purple cardigan that matched the flowers on the skirt perfectly. My favorite black flats sat on the floor below the outfit, and my pearl necklace and earrings were sitting in their case on the counter, along with a cute purple ribbon for my hair.

_I'll never question Jeff again,_ I thought, grinning like a silly school girl as I changed. I fixed myself up in a light layer of makeup, then looked at myself in the mirror, happy with what I saw. I was never comfortable wearing midriff tops or bootie shorts. I never understood why hanging out all over the place made girls feel attractive; it just made me feel more self-conscious. Yes, I would much rather be dressed like a librarian, though I don't think I was modest to _that_ degree.

I threw open the bathroom door, ready to imitate Jeff's model-walk. I paused halfway through my strut, however, stunned at the scene I saw before me. Ashley had returned from her trip to the kitchen, and now she and Jeff were both strip-teasing themselves in front of the mirror.

"I think I'm going back to the bathroom," I said, stepping back in.

"No no no!" Ashley giggled, grabbing onto my wrists and pulling me out in front of the mirror. "You look so pretty!"

"Yup," Jeff said, draping one arm across my shoulder. "I've really outdone myself here."

"I think we're a fine looking group all-around," Aria said, joining us.

I stared at our reflection. Jeff was already half-naked, down to just his underwear and his socks. Ashley was topless, her huge breasts bushing a thin, lacy brassiere to its limits and her muffin-top hanging out over her pants. Aria was in her fuzzy Puffskein-printed PJs and hadn't brushed her hair all day.

"Oh yeah," I said, nodding. "Defiantly."

"You need to get going!" Aria said, hugging me briefly. "You're going to be late."

"Here's your dinner," Ashley said, shoving a frilly picnic basket into my arms. "The house elves in the kitchen made it extra special."

"Thank you," I said, accepting the basket gratefully. "I owe you big time, Ash."

"Go! Go!" the three of them screamed, ushering me down stairs and practically shoving me out of the common room.

I stumbled on the way out, nearly dropping the basket. I caught myself and my breath, straightening myself up a little before I set off. It was a cool night, but spring was on the way. The snow was already melted, and early signs of plant life were starting to make their appearance. I paused a few times to look out the window; the stars looked so beautiful…

I soon found myself seeing stars once again when I reached Professor Lupin's office. As I reached for the handle, the door flew open, hitting me in the forehead.

"Owwww!" I screamed, touching the bump with my hand. Once again, I nearly dropped the basket. "Son of a…"

"I'm sorry!" a pubescent voice said. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, peachy," I grumbled, looking up to face my assailant. My heart thumped wildly, "H-harry Potter!"

He laughed nervously, - hey, I'm not the only one… - "Yeah, that's me."

"Oh!" I gasped, holding out my hand for him to shake. "I'm Violet Carroll." _Wow, it's really him! He's… Not quite as tall as I imagined, but it's still him. Wait until Uncle Jack hears about this!_

"It's nice to meet you," he said, shaking my hand with a somewhat flaccid grip. "What's that you have there?"

"Nothing," I said, trying to hide the basket behind my back. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with."

"Okay…" he said, giving me a funny look. "I'll… Just be going now…"

"Right," I said. "Good night. It was a pleasure meeting you!"

"Yeah," I heard him say, rather unenthusiastically as he waved goodbye in an awkward fashion. "G'night."

I rubbed my forehead again, muttering under my breath as I stepped into the office. To my surprise, it was empty. I cleared my throat, "Hello?"

"Just a moment!" Professor Lupin called from the back room, – I assumed that was his living space, because it was spell-guarded to keep students out – sounding a tad out of breath. "I'll be right there!"

I sighed, placing the basket on his desk. Unable to resist, I found myself going through his desk drawers while I waited. The first several were an overwhelming disappointment; nothing but office supplies and a secret stash of chocolate. Having skipped dinner in anticipation for our late-night rendezvous, I was quite hungry. I nibbled on a chocolate bar while I continued snooping, and was half way through it when I found the jackpot. The fourth drawer – the only one that hadn't been stuffed full – contained only two items; an old photograph and a folded piece of parchment.

The photo instantly attracted my attention, and I lifted it out of the drawer carefully. Four young men, no older than sixteen, stood together, pushing and shoving each other playfully. They all wore the same, broad smile.

I spotted Remus right away. His basic face-structure hadn't changed much, and even though it was a black-and-white photo, his hair didn't appear to be discolored. James Potter was easy to pick out of the lineup as well; he looked exactly like the young adolescent that had bonked me on the head only moments before. My hand started shaking when my eyes fell on Sirius Black, and I dropped the photograph back in the drawer before I could get myself all worked up. I tucked my hair behind my ears before I removed the parchment, wondering what was so special about it; _if_ there was anything special about it.

I received an answer quickly. As soon as I unfolded it, words began to appear on its surface:

"_Mr. Moony cannot believe that Violet Carroll would go through another person's things without their permission. How rude of her._

Mr. Prongs saw this one coming. Once a snob, always a snob.

Mr. Padfoot agrees with Mr. Prongs wholeheartedly, and would like to add that Violet looks particularly elderly this evening. Nice sweater, Grandma.

Mr. Wormtail would like to point out that the welt on Miss Carroll's forehead is still growing. She deserved a good whack to the head."

I growled, dropping the parchment, blushing as I watched the text disappear. _What the bloody hell was that all about? Jeez, even blank pieces of paper don't like me anymore…_

I heard Professor Lupin laughing, and when I looked up I found him standing in the doorway. He carried a broomstick in each hand, and a ratty old blanket draped over his shoulder, "You've found the map, I see."

"No," I said, scratching the back of my neck nervously. "Just a roll of parchment that hates me."

"Yup, that's the map," he chuckled. He looked at me blankly, "What happened to your head?"

"Oh, that…" I said, touching the bump. Mr. Wormtail had been right; it _was_ getting bigger. "Potter hit me with the door on the way out."

"Are you alright?" he asked, propping the broomsticks up against the desk. "Do you need ice?"

I shook my head, "No, I'm fine. It isn't every day a famous wizard hits you in the head with a heavy object. It'll be a fun story to tell my friends. What are the brooms for? Are we cleaning house?"

"Of course not," he said, snatching up the alleged map. "We're going out for dinner."

_We're flying_, I realized, feeling all the color draining from my face. _Oh no…_ "Out? Isn't that a little risky?"

"Not with this," he said, smirking as he held up the 'map'.

_That's very reassuring,_ I thought. _When we get caught, we'll be able to come up with loads of mean things to say about me. _

"Here, let me show you," he said, touching the tip of his wand to the paper. "_I solemnly swear that I am up to no good._"

The text on the parchment re-appeared, but instead of a clever insult, it now read:

"_Messers. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs,  
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers  
Are proud to present:  
The Marauder's Map"_

"So it's a trick… thing," I said, watching as a map of the castle slowly appeared. "Hey, is that actually-"

"Yup," he nodded. "This map shows everyone on the grounds at any given time. It's quite convenient, actually."

"I'd imagine so…" I said, not really paying attention. I was too distracted by looking for the dots that represented people I knew. I saw Jeff and Ashley moving around the common room, and Aria sitting on the sofa – I assumed reading her usual manga-smut – and other Ravenclaw students going about their business. Harry Potter was returning to his dormitory. Lupin and I were in his office, and-

"Margret's headed this way," I gulped.

"Then we should hurry up and get going," Professor Lupin said, grabbing the map. "Do you think you could carry the brooms?"

"Sure…" I said, lifting them so I could rest them on my shoulder. I grabbed the basket of food with my other hand and followed Lupin out of the office.

_I can't do this,_ I thought, trembling. _I can't do this. I can't do this!_

"We'll have to take the long way," he said, rounding a corner, not taking his eyes off of the map. "It looks like Professor Sprout is coming down the other hall."

"What's with all this enthusiasm?" I asked, hoping to get my mind off of flying. "Last week you told me sneaking food out of the kitchen was 'too much trouble'."

He shrugged, "I guess I just realized that I'm not getting any younger."

I rolled my eyes, "Don't talk like that. You're not _that_ old. You're like… What, forty-two?"

"Thirty-four," he corrected as we left the castle. The air in the courtyard was a little chilly, and there was a light breeze blowing. He checked the map one last time before touching his wand to it again, "_Mischief managed._"

"Are you sure about this?" I asked, starting to get desperate as I handed him a broomstick.

"You look nervous," he said. "Don't worry; we're not going to get caught. There's no one around."

"That's… not it," I confessed, blushing. "I'm just… Sort of afraid of flying…"

His eyebrows rose, "I thought you used to be a Quidditch player. At Christmas, your uncle babbled away about your flying abilities until my ears fell off."

"I know…" I said. "It's just… Well, last time I got on a broom, I sort of…" I swallowed, finishing the last part of the embarrassing story without taking a breath, "I fell from three hundred feet in the air and broke my arm."

"Ohhh," he nodded understandingly. "No wonder you're a bit anxious."

"Yeah…" I said, laughing nervously.

"We're not going very far," Professor Lupin assured me, giving me a brief kiss on the forehead. "Do you think you can make it?"

"I d-d-don't know…" I said, eyeing the brook skeptically. "What if I fall again?"

"I'll be right next to you," he promised. "I won't let you fall."

"Okay," I said, biting down on my lower lip. _We're not going far,_ I told myself, straddling the broom. I slipped the handle of the basket over the end, holding my quivering hand over it so it wouldn't slide off. _It'll be alright. You have to get back on the horse and all that…_

I took one last, deep breath before kicking off the ground after Professor Lupin. At first, I started drifting to the right, but he grabbed onto my sweater and pulled me in the right direction.

"I'm doing it…" I said, beaming with pride. "I'm flying again!"

_Now if I just don't look down, I'll be fine…_


	29. Chapter 29

Even though I was glad that my first time on a broom since my accident went well, I was overjoyed when it was time to land; on a ledge overlooking the lake. I could have kissed the ground, but instead I decided to catch my breath while Lupin spread out the picnic blanket.

"This is the perfect spot," he told me, looking very proud of himself. "I doubt the Dementors will be up here; they're supposed to stick to the entrances. We should be safe."

"It's weird," I said, leaning on my broom for support. "Having a picnic at night. I've never done this before. I feel so… mysterious."

He laughed, "It's a first for me, too. What are we having?"

"I don't know," I realized suddenly. "I never asked… Ashley got it from the kitchen."

"Please, have a seat," he said, slowly sitting down himself, with that look on his face that suggested it hurt him to move. Poor Professor Lupin; he was only thirty-four.

I sat down next to him, folding my legs underneath me in a ladylike fashion. I sat the basket down, pulling the cover aside curiously. "It looks like chicken pot pie," I said, removing the two pie tins, revealing a smashed loaf of bread at the bottom of the basket.

"Oh, that's nice," Professor Lupin said, looking at the bread disappointedly.

"We have a phrase for this in the muggle world," I said, fishing out the forks and napkins. " 'The bag-boy special', or something like that. Because when you go to the grocery store, they always seem to put the bread under all the heavy stuff."

"I think I've heard that one before," he said, removing two lukewarm bottles of muggle-cola from the basket, which I was grateful for. Butterbeer, while delicious, isn't the _only_ drink in the world.

"Here, you try it first," I said, handing him a fork. "It's your birthday."

"Don't mind if I do," he said with a broad grin. I watched him with wide eyes as the silvery metal fork pierced the flakey pie crust. He paused, looking at me inquisitively, "Why are you staring at me like that?"

I averted my gaze instantly, my face warm with embarrassment, "Sorry…"

"Oh, don't apologize," he said, finally taking that first bite. I looked back up, watching him chew. "It's kind of cute, actually."

_He thinks I'm cute…_ I thought, smiling through my blush. "How is it, Professor?" I asked, picking up my own pie.

"It's not bad," he said. "And I thought I told you; you can call me Remus when we're alone."

"Oh, right," I said, taking my first bite. The house elves had really outdone themselves. "I'm sorry, I always forget."

"That's better than forgetting to call me 'Professor' when you're in class," he pointed out. "That would cause quite a stir."

"Yeah," I snorted. "No kidding. Anyway; I'm sorry if this isn't what you had in mind. I forgot to ask you what you wanted to eat, so I just told Ashley to get whatever she thought would taste best."

"This is fine," Remus said. It must have been, I realized, because he was already half finished. "I usually prefer red meat, but this defiantly beats my last birthday."

"What did you do last year?" I asked, opening my cola. The fizzing tickled my throat on the way down.

"It was a full moon," he said grimly. "And the only present I got was from my parents; a book explaining why it's important for elderly people to have grandchildren."

I coughed, the cola stinking my nostrils on its way out. I wiped my face with my napkin, "W-what? Seriously?"

He shook his head, quietly laughing to himself, "They're not exactly subtle; the older I get, the more they harass me about settling down."

"Do you not want to?" I asked, returning to my pie. For some reason, my heart felt heavy, and I could feel my hands start to shake. "Settle down, I mean."

Remus sighed, "It's not that I don't want to, but believe it or not, Violet, I haven't had the best luck with relationships in the past."

"I don't believe that for a second," I said, licking my fork clean. "You're so charming and handsome and-"

"And most women have a hard time picturing themselves spending the rest of their lives with… Well, with someone in my condition," he finished sullenly, tossing his empty dish aside. "You're the only one who's stayed with me for more than a month after you found out."

"Oh…" I gulped.

"I didn't date much in high school," he continued. "I couldn't tell _anyone_ about my lycanthropy, and I felt guilty when I did go out with a girl, like I was lying to her. After I graduated, I decided to be upfront and honest with every woman I dated. Needless to say, that didn't exactly work out too well."

I sat my pie dish down on the blanket, listening to the story sadly.

"Eventually, Siri-" he paused, clearing his throat, "My friends convinced me to wait until I had been with a woman for a little while before I told her the truth. I felt terrible about it, but I decided to give it a shot."

"How'd that go?" I asked with a heavy heart. I wasn't sure if I was upset with these other women, or oddly jealous of them. Maybe it was a little of both.

"It didn't work, of course," said Remus. He leaned back, stretching out his legs and propping himself up on his elbows. "Things would go fine, until I opened my mouth. So I started waiting longer and longer… The last woman I dated didn't know for over a year," his voice was quivering more than my hands – which, by this point, was quite a bit – and I realized that he had been crying. "She was so disgusted that she vomited…"

_How can people be so cruel?_ I thought, letting go of a few of my own tears. I crawled over to him, pressing my body tightly against his as I kissed him. He always seemed a little surprised when I initiated a kiss, but this time he was more than eager to kiss me back. I moaned loudly while his tongue played with mine, slowly coaxing it into his mouth. _How could you_ not_ want to be with Remus? He's so wonderful…_

Slowly, he rolled over, and I welcomed the feeling of his weight on top of me. It was nice; it made me feel safe and loved. He slowly slipped out of the kiss, gently straightening my hair while he looked down at me fondly.

"I've been longing to explore your body again," he whispered, pressing his lips against my neck.

"Y-you have?" I asked, blushing wildly. His mustache was tickling my skin; – I _loved_ that feeling – it was all I could do not to giggle.

"Yes," he breathed, giving my earlobe a playful love-bite while he started to unbutton my sweater.

I gasped, "W-w-wait, you mean r-right n-now?"

"Well… yes," he said, looking up at me helplessly.

"But… we're outside," I said dumbly.

He blinked, "So?"

"So…" I sputtered. "There are _animals_ outside! I don't want animals watching us… That's weird…"

He chuckled, but I could tell he was disappointed, "That's alright. I don't want to make you do something you're not comfortable with."

"I'm sorry," I said, offering him a weak smile. "It's not that I don't want you. Believe me, that is definitely not the case."

"I believe you," Remus said, his mischievous smirk returning as he rolled onto his back, pulling me with him, so I was lying at his side. He kissed my forehead, "And I don't mind; I'm happy just like this."

I wrapped my arms around him, pillowing my head on his chest. I gripped the fabric of his shirt, hoping that would help steady my shaking hand. It didn't.

"The stars are really beautiful tonight," he said, clamping his hand over mine. "It's really clear."

"Mhm…" I mumbled. "The moon's very pretty, as well. Oh…"

"Yes," he said, nodding, as if to let me know he wasn't offended in any way. "I like the moon best like this; just a tiny crescent."

"Me too," I said, staring up at the whitish sliver in the sky. "Remus?"

Remus looked at me thoughtfully, "Hmm?"

"Happy birthday," I said, kissing his lips softly. I had intended for it to be just a cute, innocent little peck, but his mouth caught mine quickly, and I had no choice but to linger. After a few moments, he tugged my lower lip into his mouth, gently sucking on it. This was new, and completely intoxicating. My breaths turned into short, quick moans and whimpers. It was too much, I couldn't take it anymore.

_Who knows when you'll get another chance,_ I told myself while I loosened his tie. _It could be ages! Besides, it's his birthday. You didn't exactly get him a nice present... _

"What are you doing?" he asked innocently, grinning broadly as he rested his forehead against mine, staring deep into my eyes. "I thought you didn't want the animals to see anything."

"Let them watch," I said jokingly. It didn't sound as funny as it did in my head; my nervous voice took away from the tone I had hoped to create. "I want you so much, I don't care."


	30. Chapter 30

Author's Notes

I can't believe we're already at chapter thirty. It seems like just yesterday that Vi-Vi and her friends were just a little thought bubble. I swear it was just hours ago that Violet Carroll was watching Lupin while hiding behind her book, secretly admiring him. I have no idea how we got so far, so fast…

Oh wait, I do. It's because of all the kind people who write reviews and encourage me to update. Over 5,000 hits and over 50 reviews. You guys are awesome. Thanks for sticking with me through all this! I have tons more to come, so please keep reading!

*

"What is as big as you, but doesn't weigh anything?" the majestic eagle statue asked me, a bit nastily. It probably had a difficult time coming up with riddles in the middle of the night.

It took me a while to come up with the answer. I was still completely giddy, and every three seconds my thoughts jumped back to Remus Lupin; his faded hair threaded through my fingers, his hoarse voice whispering in my ear while his mustache tickled my face, his warm body…

"My shadow," I said finally, giggling as the passageway opened, and I swear I saw the eagle roll its eyes at me. I practically danced into the common room, twirling around the picnic basket, which contained the dirty dishes.

"It's about time," Margret said, her cold voice freezing my mood instantly. "I was beginning to think you were spending the whole night out. _Again_."

I jumped, nearly dropping the basket. My heart leapt up into my throat, "M-m-margret! What are you doing here?"

She smiled, – an evil, nasty little smile – slipping a bookmark into her Herbology textbook before she shut it. "I was waiting for you. I had intended on confronting you outside of Lupin's office. I waited until curfew, but you never left. I don't know what I was thinking; of course a silly little rule like that wouldn't bother you."

"W-what are you talking about?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes, "Don't try to play innocent with me, Violet. I know you better than that; _and_ I know exactly what's going on between you and Professor Lupin."

I gulped, feeling my face go white, "I don't know what you mean."

"Your shirt is inside out," she said, pointing.

I looked down, and sure enough, she was right. I blushed, spitting out the first explanation that came to mind. Unfortunately, it wasn't a very good one. "I'm trying to start a new trend."

She snickered, getting up from her chair gracefully, "Violet, Violet; _everyone_ knows what's going on."

"They do?" I asked, my hands shaking violently with panic.

Margret's grin widened, indicating that I had given the response she was expecting, "Of course they do. It's all speculation, of course, but anyone with eyes would be able to see the truth. You sneak off into his office almost every evening. You always show up to class _way_ before anyone else-"

"I always go to class early," I defended weakly.

"And he's _always_ looking at you during dinner," she finished, crossing her arms.

_He is?_ I wanted to ask. It was a flattering notion, but I didn't have enough time to enjoy it; Margret was on the attack, and I knew she wasn't going to stop anytime soon.

"I knew they wouldn't just _let_ you back into a class," she went on. "Sleeping with a teacher to salvage a poor mark… I thought you couldn't go any lower, Violet, but once again you've proved me wrong."

_Shut up!_ I wanted to scream at her. My fingers curled up into fists at my side. I had a brief mental-fantasy where I punched Margret in the face, shattering her perfect teeth. The old me might have gone through with it, but of course, she was long gone.

"You must really care about your grades," she said. "Professor Lupin's so… scrappy and dirty-looking."

_And handsome and sweet and funny and amazing,_ I thought, wanting to throttle her more than ever. _Why do she and Professor Snape just assume I'm with Professor Lupin to keep my grades up?_

Margret recoiled slightly, but her grin curled up even more, "It's more than that, isn't it? You're falling for him…"

I swallowed, _I really need to stop thinking. My mind is too easy to read._

She cackled evilly, "Oh, this is just _too_ perfect! This is even better than I thought!"

"What's it to you?" I asked, trying to snarl but only managing a grumble.

Margret looked at me slyly, "You really have gone soft, Violet. But surely you can guess what I plan to do with this bit of information? You are, after all, _so_ clever."

"You're going to blackmail me," I realized out loud. My legs suddenly turned to jello underneath me, and I fell into the nearest chair, dropping the basket onto the floor.

"Very good," she said condescendingly. She yawned, stretching out her long, freckled arms. "I think I'll be going off to bed now. Goodnight, Violet. I'm sure you're exhausted. Judging by that bump on your head, things got a little rough tonight."

I touched the welt on my head, watching Margret elegantly disappear into our dormitory, giggling like an obnoxious anime school girl.

I – quite oppositely - felt my blood boiling with hatred. How could someone so beautiful be so ugly? Margret, instead of turning me in straight away, the way a good head girl would do, had snooped about until she uncovered my secret. And even then, she would rather blackmail me than do the honorable thing and turn Professor Lupin to Dumbledore. If the situation had been the one she had in her mind – if Professor Lupin was forcing me into a sexual relationship in exchange for admittance into his class – that would have been the noble thing to do.

What made the act even more evil was the fact that she had no reason to blackmail me; I wasn't competition for her anymore. Margret just wanted to watch me squirm.

_I hate her,_ I thought, curling up in my chair.

"Violet, dear, wake up," I heard Aria whispering in my ear. When I cracked open my eyes, I saw that it was morning, and I prayed that my encounter with Margret had been a dream. But as I slowly fell into consciousness, I realized I was still in my armchair.

"Yeah," I heard Jeff say. "Your underwear is showing."

"Ah!" I gasped, quickly sitting up straight and fixing my skirt.

"Oh my goodness!" Ashley said, leaning in –much too close for comfort – and examining the bump on my head. "What happened to _you_?"

"It's a long story," I said, swatting her hand away from my lump. "Don't touch it; it hurts. What time is it?"

"Time for Jeffey and me to go to Care of Magical Creatures," Ashley said, looking a bit sad. "I guess we'd better get going…"

"Yeah," Jeff sighed. "Or we'll be late…"

Aria smirked, "Which means I get Violet all to myself for our free-period; so _I_ get to hear her story before _you_."

"Awwww!" the other two pouted. "That isn't fair. Hey, stop copying me! Hey!"

I stared at Jeff – who had finally stepped into my line of vision – and his new black eye. This one wasn't quite as big as his last one, but it was dark and fresh. "Jeff! What happened to you?"

"Oh, this," he said, as if it were nothing. "Another long story. Sounds like we have a ton of catching up to do."

"Just… let me go get dressed," I said, shaking my head. "Then we can have our alone time, Ari."

Jeff gasped, wagging his eyebrows. "I _knew_ it! You two are totally secret lovers!"

I smacked my forehead, momentarily forgetting my injury. Tears welled up in my eyes, "Owww!"

"Violet, what are you doing?" Margret asked me as she entered the common room. "Hurry up and get dressed!"

"Oh, calm down," Jeff said, waving her off. "She has a free period this morning."

"I know," Margret said, shooting Jeff a quick glare. She had been making it very clear that she did not approve of his choice to wear the girl's uniform. "But she has to help me carry my books to Arithmancy; don't you, Violet?"

"Go choke, Margret," Ashley quipped. "Vi-Vi's too good to carry your books. Right, Vi?"

My friends, Margret, and all the other students in the common room stared at me expectantly. My face flushed; this was by far the most embarrassing thing I had ever had to do. But I had to do it.

"Just give me a moment," I said, rising to my feet. "I'll be right back, Margret."

I could hear the sound of a dozen jaws hitting the floor as I marched up to my room to change, but even that clatter didn't cover the sound of Margret's pompous sniggering. I changed quickly and wordlessly, returning to the common room to find only Aria and Margret remaining.

"Here," Margret said, dropping her heavy Arithmancy book into my arms. I suddenly remembered why I despised that class. Lugging that book up to the seventh floor was almost harder than all the homework. I couldn't look Aria in the eye as I followed Margret solemnly. I daydreamed about hitting her over the head with the hefty text the entire trip.

"Alright, we're here," I said when we finally arrived, holding out her book.

She looked confused, "What are you doing? You have to carry it to my desk."

_The humiliation keeps on coming,_ I thought bitterly. This was what Margret wanted to see, the whole reason she drug me up here; to parade me in front of the class I had been kicked out of. I swallowed what little pride I had left as I followed Margret inside.

"Thank you _so_ much, Violet," she said, for the sole purpose of drawing attention to me. My face flared; the entire class was looking at me and whispering. "You've been such a good help."

_Here, let me "help" you out the window,_ I thought, dropping her book on the desk roughly. For a second, it seemed that the ancient pile of wood would collapse, but it stayed intact.

"Ah, Miss Carroll!" I heard Professor Vector say before I saw her. She was a relatively old, voluptuous woman with hair that was more gray than blond. She was very strict, and gave out more homework than anyone had any business giving. In the past, she had been one of the main targets of my sucking-up; second only to Flitwick. "Good to see you again."

"Good to see you, too," I said, trying to sound pleased.

"It's such a shame you failed last year, Violet," Margret said, sitting down.

"Yes, it really is," Percy Weasley said, nodding with agreement as he sat down next to Margret. "Class was much more entertaining with you in it. You always have something interesting to say."

_You have a girlfriend, pal,_ I thought, but I put on my best fake smile and said, "Thank you, Percy."

"Hey," he said, as if he suddenly had a bright idea. "Maybe we can get together and study for our N.E.W.T.s sometime? Your fresh look on things might help me-"

_You have a girlfriend!_ I repeated in my head, fighting back the urge to gag. "No thank you. I already have a study group. I wouldn't want to _cheat on them._"

"Oh, right," he said, his ears turning almost as red as his hair. "I should have known."

"I'm just gonna… go now," I said awkwardly, backing out of the room. "Let you all get back to your learning and all that."

"See you, Violet," Margret said cheerfully.

I slammed the door behind me, my hands shaking not just from embarrassment, but from rage as well. I had been stupid and irresponsible, - staying out with Lupin until after midnight, _twice_ - and now I was paying the price for it. I rounded a corner abruptly; more than ready to go mope about my newfound problems over some of Ashley's sweets, when I found myself face-to-chest with Aria. I yelped, jumping backwards into the wall.

"Son of a…" I muttered, rubbing the new bump on the back of my head. _I just can't catch a break, can I?_

"Violet, are you alright?" Aria asked, placing her affectionate hand on my shoulder.

"No," I sobbed. "No Ari, I'm not alright."

"I'm so sorry!" she apologized. "Do you need to see Madame Pomfrey?"

"No!" I screamed, causing her to jump back, though there was no wall there to catch her. "It's not because I hit my head!" _Again,_ I added in my head, wiping my nose on my sleeve. "It's because everything is going to hell in a hand basket!"

"There there," she whispered, pulling me into her motherly embrace. I didn't care who was watching; I was happy to blubber and bawl while she rubbed my back and promised me that it would all be fine.


	31. Chapter 31

"What a twit!" Ashley shrieked after I told her my miserable tale. "That's such a mean thing to do!"

"Yeah," Jeff agreed, hugging me tightly. "I vote we jinx the hell out of her."

"We can't do that," I sighed helplessly. Aria – who was working on our N.E.W.T. study schedule – and I had already discussed this option during our alone time. "She's head girl; we'd be expelled instantly. And I don't want _any_ of you getting kicked out of here on my behalf, so don't even think about it."

"We could try erasing her memories," Ashley suggested. "That wouldn't harm her, would it?"

"A memory charm is completely out of the question," Aria scolded, looking up from her work. That had been my suggestion. "Remember what happened to Professor Lockhart last year? He's as mad as hatter now, because a memory charm backfired on him."

Ashley rolled her eyes, "You're so paranoid. What's the worst that could happen?"

"We could end up having to spoon feed you and give you sponge baths for the rest of your life," Jeff said. I cringed at the thought.

"Let's talk about something else," I sighed, stretching out across Aria's bed. To avoid Margret, the three of us opted to spend our lunch break in the girl's dormitory. "Like, what happened to your face, Jeff?"

"Oh, yeah," Jeff said, grinning stupidly. "I forgot about that."

"Don't feel too sorry for him, Vi-Vi," Ashley said, looking at Jeff distastefully. "He deserved it this time."

"What did you do?" I asked flatly.

"Nothing!" he said, holding his hands up innocently. "I was just trying to comfort poor Penny-poo-"

I blinked, "You mean Penelope Clearwater, right?"

He nodded, "Yeah. Right after you left, she showed up in the common room, bawling her pretty little eyes out."

"That Weasley bloke broke it off, apparently," Aria said, violently scribbling something off on her huge calendar with a big black marker.

_That explains why he was hitting on me,_ I realized. _Percy may be extremely pretentious, but I never pegged him as the cheating sort._

"She looked so depressed," Jeff said glumly. "You know I have a soft spot for damsels in distress, so I went over to comfort her. Things seemed to be going really well – she even laughed at some of my jokes – so I decided to make a move."

I gasped, "You didn't try to kiss her, did you?"

He chuckled, "Well, not exactly…"

"He tried to grab her boob," Aria said, not bothering to look up from her calendar.

I blushed furiously, feeling both embarrassed and sorry for Penelope. "You what?!"

He grinned, "Well, it looked so nice and soft…"

"You grabbed her boob?!" I repeated in disbelief.

Ashley giggled, "Violet said boob…"

I rolled my eyes, "I love how high the maturity level is in here. So what, she decked you?"

Jeff nodded proudly, "Yup; right in the eye. My Penny-poo has an awesome right hook! I'll be feeling this for weeks!"

"Mr. Flanders!" A tiny voice called from outside. "I have your lunch! Can I please come in?"

"Sure, sure," Jeff said happily. "Please, come on in!"

The door opened, and an awkward-looking younger girl slipped in, carrying and armful of sandwiches. I had seen her around before, but I could not remember her name. The little witch had long, tangled blond hair and gray eyes that were too big for her face. She wore huge, bell pepper earrings that looked as if they were about to pull her ears right off of her head. She dumped the sandwiches on the bed, then looked up and Jeff expectantly.

"Thank you, Luna," he said, patting her head affectionately. "You're too kind."

"Little Miss Lovegood is Jeffey's new assistant," Ashley said, glaring at the girl.

"Je-, I mean, Mr. Flanders is my hero," Luna said dreamily. "He inspired me to be myself, which is exactly what I'm going to do from now on!"

I smiled warmly. Sure, Luna seemed a bit… odd, but it was good that Jeff had stimulated something good, instead of just earning him another punch in the face.

Suddenly, Luna was setting next to me, close enough that the ends of our noses were touching. "Has anyone ever told you that you kinda look like a Blibbering Humdinger? Especially if you shut one eye…"

"Luna, could you please leave us alone?" Aria asked kindly. "We're trying to get our N.E.W.T. schedule set up. But thank you for bringing us some lunch. That was very thoughtful."

"You're welcome, Miss Tate!" Luna said, bowing politely before she slipped out of the room.

"Wow… Just… wow," I said, still a bit shocked. "She's… special. What's a Blibbering Humdinger?"

"I have no idea," Aria shrugged. "That girl's crazy. I wouldn't put too much stock into what she says."

"Mmmm, ham and mustard," Ashley said, already halfway through her sandwich. "Maybe she isn't so bad after all."

I shook my head, not sure I could handle the explanation even if I wanted to know. "Ari, how's that schedule coming anyway?"

"I think I've got it down," she said, turning the large piece of poster board around. I felt my stomach churning just looking at it. "I won't be able to do the last few weeks until we get the test dates, but here's what I've got so far. None of us have a subject alone, so that means we don't have to do any studying by ourselves, which is nice. And on evenings we're cramming for a subject one of us doesn't have, the odd one out can take the evening off, or practice on their own-"

"Or commit suicide," I said, staring at the confusing chart in front of me. I suddenly regretted signing up for all of the N.E.W.T.s I was eligible to take, but I didn't want to turn back now. I couldn't let down Professor Flitwick and all the other people who believed in me. "Bloody hell…"

"Hey, don't blame me," Aria shrugged, going to pin the calendar on the inside of her wardrobe, where Margret couldn't find it and plan her torture around – which in this instance meant interrupting – my study sessions. "It was your idea to take all those tests."

"Yeah," Ashley said, her mouth full of food. "Hell, I'm only taking half of these tests because you are, Vi-Vi."

"You guys don't _have _to take all these," I reminded them. "Wait, how many are you taking, anyway?"

"I'm taking all of mine," Aria sighed, looking at her calendar fondly. "But my study schedule places extra emphasis on Runes, Astronomy and Divination; since I'm going to open my fortunetelling business."

"I'm doing Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology, Charms, Divination, and then I'm doing History of Magic and Potions just for you, Vi," Jeff said, ruffling my hair playfully.

"I'm doing all of mine, too," Ashley said, bubbly as always. "I figure, eh, what the hell. If I do really good, maybe I'll get that internship in the Ministry's law office. If not… I'll just chase my lifelong dream of becoming a world famous Go-Go dancer."

"I wish I could be that calm," I said, throwing Aria's pillow – which, like her, smelled strongly of pomegranates – over my face. "If I take over the boarding house, I won't even _need_ these scores, and I'm already super-stressed."

"Yet you continue to torture yourself," Jeff shrugged. "Why?"

"Because I'm a glutton for punishment, apparently," I grumbled. "I don't know why I do these things to myself. Maybe I should be incarcerated."

Ashley giggled, "Oh Vi-Vi, you're so funny…"

Thanks to Margret's iron grip and Aria's intense N.E.W.T. study schedule, it was almost a week before I could go see Professor Lupin again. In class, he would sneak quick, '_what's-going-on'_ glances at me, but Margret kept me from showing up early or staying late. Finally, when I was so miserable I couldn't focus on my Transfiguration notes and studying for Defense Against the Dark Arts made me burst into tears, Ashley, Jeff, and Aria convinced me that seeing "my beloved Professor Lu-Lu" was more important than writing essays and studying for my N.E.W.T.s.

I didn't even bother knocking, and Professor Lupin nearly had a heart attack as I flew through the door; the essays he had been grading were scattered across the room when he leaped up in surprise.

"Violet!" he gasped, holding his hand over his heart. "What are you doing here?"

My heart sunk. I had been hoping for jubilation, – I would have settled for an 'I miss you' – "I'm here to see you…" I said, wandering over to his side of the desk.

He seemed to sense my disappointment. He stood up, pulling me into a tight embrace, "It's been so long… I thought perhaps I'd done something to offend you, or that maybe I had forced you into-"

"No," I cut him off, trembling with happiness. It felt so good to be back in his arms. I had missed so many little things I had never thought were important before; his unique smell, the way the coarse tweed fabric of his suit rubbed my face… I welcomed back every little detail. "That isn't why, Remus. I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you, too," he whispered. "But why-"

There was a knock at the door. We looked at each other, completely terrified. My mind was buzzing. No, surely Margret hadn't followed me here. She and her friends were studying in the common room, and I had left from the library.

My apprehension lessened only slightly, however, when I heard Professor Snape's impious voice from the other side of the door, "Lupin, are you in?"

"Hide under the desk," Professor Lupin whispered in my ear. I nodded, complying without questioning. The space under the desk was small, and I had to curl up quite uncomfortably to fit. I couldn't see what was going on from my new hiding place, but I listened intently as Professor Lupin opened the door, allowing Professor Snape inside.

"Here's your potion," I heard him snarl. The cauldron clattered loudly when he sat it down.

I held my hands out in front of me; sure enough, they were shaking. I wrapped my arms around my knees, closing my eyes tightly. I prayed that the '_they can't see me if I can't see them'_ rule would apply in this case.

"Thank you, Severus," Professor Lupin said. I listened as he gulped down the potion quickly. He groaned when he was finished, as if it were the nastiest thing he had ever tasted.

"How are things progressing with your favorite student?" Snape questioned, and in my mind I could picture his conceited expression perfectly.

"Oh, Harry is doing quite fine," said Lupin proudly. "I've never seen such a young student master the Patronus Charm so quickly. Some of my seventh years haven't even perfected it yet."

"That's not what I mean," Snape spat, and I had to bite my lip to keep my laughter down. "I was referring to Carroll."

"Oh, yes," Lupin sighed. "Her."

"I'd be careful, if I were you," Snape warned. "It may be a good ego boost to fool around with someone so young, – especially for someone like _you_ – but it's no fun once they become… attached."

"What do you mean?" he asked curiously.

"I _mean_, Lupin, that if you don't watch yourself, that girl will think you actually want a relationship," Professor Snape explained, in the same hateful tone he used when he was teaching. "I understand that a werewolf probably hasn't had much experience in this area, but there is nothing more… annoying than a woman who thinks she's in love."

"Thanks for your concern, Severus, but I think I can take care of myself," Lupin said. "I know exactly what I'm doing."

"You're so arrogant," Professor Snape said contemptuously. "It's only a matter of time before Dumbledore finds out what you're doing; before I find enough solid proof to turn you in!"

"Like I said, I know exactly what I'm doing," Lupin said, his voice dripping with the arrogance Snape had just described.

I grinned as I imagined the look on Snape's face. I heard him snatch up the cauldron and storm out of the room, slamming the door behind him. I sighed with relief as I crawled out, only to find Professor Lupin joining me on the cold, stone floor.

"Sorry about that," he apologized, resting his back against the desk.

"I don't understand it," I said, almost hysterical as I threw my arms around him. "Why is it so hard for people to believe that we're together because we _care_ about each other?!"

He shrugged, wrapping his arms around my waist, "Our relationship isn't exactly conventional… Wait, who do you mean 'people'?"

"Oh, just Snape…" I said, burying my face in his chest. "And… Margret."

"Margret?" he repeated. "What-"

"She found out," I whimpered, tightening my grip on his shirt. "And now she's blackmailing me. That's why I haven't been able to see you; Margret's been making me carry her books and balance her checkbook and organize her sock drawer… Between that and my schoolwork, I just couldn't find the time-"

"Shhhh, I understand," he whispered, kissing my forehead-bump gently. "And don't you worry about Miss Cambell, I'll set her straight."

"No, please don't," I begged. "You can't use magic on a student. You'd be putting your job at risk!"

His eyebrows rose, "I've been risking my job all year."

"But this is different," I said. "This is my fault."

"How is this your fault?" he asked, pushing my hair behind my ears.

"I wasn't careful," I said. "I stayed out late and Margret caught me. I knew she was suspicious, but I went out with you anyway."

"I stayed out late, too," he reminded me.

"But you don't have to sneak in and out of a room full of people to do that," I said. "Look, just… Promise me you won't do anything."

"Alright," he sighed. "If that's what you really want."

"Let's talk about something else," I said, playing with one of his buttons.

He nodded, hugging me tightly, "How goes the studying?"

I groaned, "Let's talk about something _else_."

I missed my nice, quiet evenings in Professor Lupin's office. I liked talking to him about books and movies and… well, pretty much anything. He always listened intently to my stories – even the ones I knew he wasn't particularly interested in – and he was always careful not to mention the name 'Sirius Black' when sharing his own anecdotes, referring to his friends in very general terms instead. It almost killed me to leave, but I didn't want to risk getting caught by someone else.

Margret was waiting for me when I arrived in the common room. Everyone stared at us – by now they all knew something was up – waiting to see what would happen.

"Leave us," Margret snapped, and to my surprise, everyone obeyed her orders, scrambling to get up to their dormitory. She grinned at me, propping her feet up on the coffee table. "You know Violet, I could use a foot rub."

I grimaced, but I knew I had no choice. I sat down on the table and lifted her socked-feet into my lap. When I peeled off her socks, I saw why Margret had sent everyone away; even ten freshly manicured toes didn't hide the fact that she had big, ugly man-feet. That gave me some consolation, at least; the perfect girl had at least one exterior flaw.

"Oh, by the way," She said while I rubbed her unsightly foot. "I've decided to let someone else in on our little secret."

My heart stopped, "You… Who?!"

"You'll find out soon enough," she said absently, leaning back into her chair. "A little to the left, please."


	32. Chapter 32

The Monday after Easter, the N.E.W.T. schedule was posted outside the great hall. My friends had been doing a pretty good job of hiding me from Margret, but that morning she had managed to snag me first, and I was forced to carry her books down to breakfast. I stood, gritting my teeth while I examined the schedule with Margret and her snooty friends. I scribbled down all the test times, knowing Aria would want them for her calendar.

**Seventh Year N.E.W.T. Schedule, May 23****rd**** – June 3****rd**

Week I

**Monday, May 23****rd**  
Charms (written) 8:30 am – 10:25 am  
Study of Ancient Runes (written I) 11:00 am – 1:00 pm  
Charms (performance I) 3:10 pm – 5:20 pm

**Tuesday, May 24****th**  
Study of Ancient Runes (written II) 10:30 am – 12:00 pm  
Transfiguration (written) 2:35 pm – 5:00 pm

**Wednesday, May 25****th**  
Care of Magical Creatures (written) 9:10 am – 11:30 am  
Divination (written) 2:30 pm – 4:45 pm  
Charms (performance II) 5:20 pm – 8:00 pm

**Thursday, May 26****th**  
Potions (written) 8:00 am – 10:45 am  
Transfiguration (performance I) 11:10 am – 2:20 pm  
Potions (performance I) 3:30 pm – 5:50 pm

**Friday, May 27****th**  
Defense Against the Dark Arts (written) 9:25 am – 11:45 am  
Potions (performance II) 1:00 pm – 3:10 pm  
Divination (performance I) 3:35 pm – 6:00 pm

Week II

**Monday, May 30****th**  
Herbology (written) 7:50 am – 11:00 am  
Care of Magical Creatures (performance) 1:00 pm – 3:00 pm  
Divination (performance II) 4:20 pm – 7:00 pm

**Tuesday, May 31****st**  
Herbology (oral) 9:15 am – 11:10 am  
Astronomy (written) 1:20 pm – 3:00 pm  
Herbology (performance) 4:45 pm – 6:30 pm  
Astronomy (performance) 11:50 pm – 2:20 am

**Wednesday, June 1****st**  
Transfiguration (performance II) 7:50 am – 10:10 am  
Arithmancy (written I) 1:40 pm – 3:00 pm  
Defense Against the Dark Arts (performance) 4:15 pm – 6:30 pm

**Thursday, June 2****nd**  
Muggle Studies (written I) 11:20 am – 1:50 pm  
Arithmancy (written II) 2:30 pm – 4:00 pm  
Muggle Studies (written II) 5:00 pm – 7:10 pm

**Friday, June 3****rd**  
History of Magic (written II) 8:45 am – 9:50 am  
History of Magic (oral) 10:10 am – 12:20 pm  
Arithmancy (performance) 2:00pm – 6:00pm

_I hate my life,_ I thought, losing my appetite as I examined the chart. _There's only two days I don't have to take any tests. Whoever made up this schedule needs _their_ head examined…_

"Wow, this looks pretty rough, huh?" I said, trying to make polite conversation with Margret and her friends.

"To you, I'm sure it does," Margret said dryly. Her friends all laughed. I tried to hide my red face behind her books. I should have known it would be useless. They didn't want to be friends with me. They wanted to humiliate me, and they were doing a damn good job.

I watched with envy as Aria, Jeff, and Ashley entered the hall for breakfast. Ashley had a cute Gryffindor boy on each arm, and was telling them about her go-go dancing dream. Aria gave me a long, mournful glance before she entered.

"What a perfect group," Margret sighed. "The fugly transvestite, the weird lesbian, and the fat slut."

"Yeah," Georgia Harris, a Slytherin with tight curly hair and broad shoulders said, laughing in agreement.

"They could make a TV show about that," Jen Rodgers added, trying to be witty as she adjusted her glasses. Jen was a Hufflepuff prefect, and her laugh sounded like nails on a chalkboard. But of Margret's posy, she was the one I liked best, or rather, hated the least.

"Jen, shut up" Nicky Valentine said, rolling her eyes. Nicky was a lot like Margret; beautiful, smart, flawless and cold. Everything about her was transparent, from her skin to her icy blue eyes to her short blond hair. "You always try to be funny, but you're not funny."

"Don't tell me to shut up!" Jen screamed.

"Both of you, put a sock in it," Margret said calmly. "You're giving me a headache."

"You shouldn't talk about people like that," Penelope Clearwater said timidly. She caught me off guard; I hadn't even realized that she was there. "It's really rude."

Margret smirked, and I felt bad that her word-assault was being directed at such a sweet girl. "I thought you of all people would have something nasty to say about Flanders."

"I don't," Penelope said holding her head up high.

"You don't actually _like_ him, do you?" Nicky asked, snapping her gum.

Penelope's cheeks reddened – blushing looked cute on her – and her eyes darted around rapidly, "N-no…"

"Oh, that's rich," Georgia said, grinning evilly. Her severe overbite hindered the effect; she was nowhere near as intimidating as Margret. "Pretty Penny Clearwater and Jeffrey Flanders."

"Or is it Jeffina, now?" Jen asked, giggling.

"Jen, shut up," Nicky said again. Those were the three most prominent words in her vocabulary.

"What's wrong with liking Jeff?" I asked, finally piping up. "He's nice guy."

"Yeah," Nicky snorted. "If you're into drag."

"And it's none of your business who Penny-po… I mean Penelope likes," I said, blushing at my mistake in nomenclature.

Margret twitched, "And I think you would agree that it's no one's business who _you_ like, wouldn't you, Violet?"

My throat closed up, stopping me from giving Margret Cambell another, sharper piece of my mind. Her friends all laughed hysterically as I stared at the floor.

"_I told them that you're secretly in love with Aria",_ she had explained to me a before Easter holiday. "_I think that is a good cover story, don't you?"_

I felt someone tugging on my sleeve, and when I looked I found Luna, staring up at me. The other girls only laughed even harder when they saw the 3D glasses she was wearing. Penelope took this opportunity to run and hide, and I longed to follow her.

"Jeff is eating breakfast," I told Luna.

"I'm not looking for him," she said, grinning. "I'm looking for you!"

_Oh lord,_ I thought. _Please don't let me be her new idol. I don't think my heart could take it._

"Professor Dumbledore wants to see you," she said. "He told me to tell you he wants to go to his office right away."

I gasped quietly. Margret had told me weeks ago that she had told someone else my secret. Could this be it? Was Dumbledore the one she told?

No, I realized quickly. She and her friends had stopped laughing, and were staring at me with vague expressions and pale faces. No, if Dumbledore had indeed found out, and that was what he why he wanted to see me, Margret wasn't the one who had told him. If that had been the case, she would be smirking arrogantly now. And besides, too much time had passed. Dumbledore would have acted immediately.

"Tell him she'll be along later," Margret said, the end of her mouth curling up with frustration as she glowered at Luna. "Violet has to carry my books to class."

"He said _right away_," Luna pressed, glaring up at Margret boldly. I felt a brief flood of admiration. Not just anyone could stand up to the head girl. "I think you could carry your own books, even if your head is full of Wrackspurts at the moment."

The look of pure confusion on her face was enough to make me smile. I didn't care how much trouble I was in; it was all worth it for this one moment. I handed a puzzled Margret her books, happily allowing Luna to lead me away.

"That was amazing…" I said breathlessly.

Luna giggled, "It was, wasn't it? But I meant what I said about those Wrackspurts. You should be careful, Miss Carroll, or they'll be buzzing around your head, too."

"You can call me Violet, you know," I said, wrapping my arm around the younger girl affectionately. "Oh my… I don't think I'll ever forget that for the rest of my life…"

Luna beamed, looking at me with the same adoration I now felt for her, "Wow, for someone who's just been summoned to the headmaster's office, you sure our happy. If I were you, I would be freaking out!"

My heart sunk, "Oh yeah, I'd forgotten that bit…"

My hands shook violently at my sides while I waited impatiently in Professor Dumbledore's office. For someone who had insisted I see him immediately, he sure was taking his time. I was so nervous I couldn't even enjoy going through his personal belongings properly. Not that that stopped me from submitting to my nearly-compulsive urge to do so…

"You shouldn't be doing that," one of the portraits hissed at me. There were so many, I couldn't be sure which one.

"Yes," another one – a woman this time, though I still couldn't tell which one – said curtly. "It's rude."

I rolled my eyes, "Oh, what do you know?" But nevertheless, I moved away from Dumbledore's personal library to find something else to observe. Books are the most fantastic objects ever created by man, but I could look at books in the library. This was my last chance to snoop in Professor Dumbledore's office, and I decided I wasn't going to let it pass me by.

_I'll be expelled if he actually does know about Remus and I, anyway,_ I justified, opening the nearest cabinet. I didn't have any expectations in mind, but what I found was defiantly not what I thought anyone would keep in a cabinet. It was a tall, stone basin.

_Why would someone keep a sink in a cabinet? _I thought, but further examination told me that it wasn't a sink at all; there was no spout. The stone was covered with runes, some of which I recognized, and two or three that I actually remembered. One that was repeated a lot was a symbol used to indicate memories or dreams. The liquid inside the basin was smoking, but the air around it was cold.

"Maybe its dry ice…" I said out loud.

"That's just silly," a nearby portrait scoffed. "Why would Dumbledore keep a basin of dry ice in his office? You really are a snobby twit, aren't you?"

"Be quiet," I snapped. "There's no harm in looking, is there?"

"If that's the case, maybe you should take a closer look," I heard a dry, cracked voice say, quite cheerfully. I recognized the voice right away, and I turned around frantically with flaring cheeks, finding myself in the presence of Albus Dumbledore.

"P-professor!" I stammered. "I was just…"

He laughed, good-natured as always. He had caught me spying in his office before, but that time I had only been reading one of his books. "Don't be frightened, Miss Carroll. You wanted to know what was in my cabinet, so go on. Look inside the basin."

I sighed with relief. For some reason, it was hard to be nervous around Professor Dumbledore. "Why do I get the feeling this is your weird way of teaching me one of those corny, profound life lessons?"

"Because it is," Dumbledore said simply, sitting down at his desk. "Well, go on! We can talk when you're through."

"Alright…" I said, turning back to the basin skeptically. It was hard to see through all the smoke, so I leaned in a bit further-

And then I was falling. Falling hard and fast. I screamed and flailed about, like you're supposed to do when you're falling, - that's the only proper way to do it - but that didn't do any good. At last, I hit the ground, landing gracefully on my feet, without a single scratch.

"W-what…" I stuttered, turning around. "Professor Dum-"

But Dumbledore wasn't there anymore.


	33. Chapter 33

Dumbledore wasn't the only thing that wasn't there anymore. Nothing I even vaguely recognized was there anymore. I wasn't even _inside_ anymore. I was in an empty, overgrown field, the skies were cloudy and gray, and I was alone.

"Okay Professor," I said nervously. "I've learned my lesson… Can I go back to your office now?"

_"Twas brillig, and the slithy toves,  
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe…"_

"That's from the Jabberwocky…" I said quietly, following the sound of the voice. My heart pounded, and I feared that, like Alice, I had stumbled into Lewis Carroll's Wonderland. Coming across a beautiful, blond girl of no more than eight – who could easily have been Alice herself – did little to relieve my fears. She sat alone in a small clearing, making a necklace out of bright yellow flowers, which contrasted against the dreary backdrop. She already had a matching crown on her head.

I cleared my throat, "Um… Excuse me, but do you know where I am?"

She didn't look up from her work, or acknowledge my presence in any other way. Instead, she continued to recite the poem, looking a bit sad.

"_All mimsy were the borogoves,  
And the mome raths outgrabe…"_

"I like that poem," I told her, sitting down next to her. She was wearing white, Victorian-style long underwear, stained with dirt. I reached up to pull a twig out of her hair, only to find that my hand when right through her. I inhaled sharply, and then tried touching her again. Sure enough, my hand went straight through her chest.

"That explains it…" I said, pulling back my shaking hand. "She couldn't hear me because I'm not really here… Except I am here; wherever here is…"

"Professor!" I screamed, scrambling to my feet. The little girl kept reciting the poem, oblivious to my cries for help. "Professor Dumbledore! Get me out of here!"

I heard someone step into the clearing, and I turned around so fast that I nearly fell over. A young boy, perhaps in his very early teens, had joined us now. His disheveled auburn hair was several shades lighter than mine. He wore a set of classic robes, as if he had just stepped out of the past.

"Or perhaps _I've_ stepped _into_ the past…" I whispered. "Excuse me, but do you happen-"

"Ariana!" he huffed. Clearly, he couldn't see me, either. "What are you doing out here?!"

"Ari?" I said, examining the girl closely. No, it couldn't be my Aria. Aria had emerald green eyes, and this Ariana's eyes were blue. Besides, she was far too young to be Aria. What was I thinking?

"Albus!" The girl gasped excitedly, prancing over to him. She held up her flowered necklace, "Look at what I made for you!"

My jaw dropped, "D-dumbledore? Is that really you?"

Of course, I received no answer. Instead, young Albus grabbed Ariana's thin wrists, causing her to drop the ring of flowers. "What do you think you're doing?! Mother told you not to leave the house!"

Ariana's eyes filled up with tears, "But I haven't made one for Aberforth yet! I have to make one for him too!"

"Get in the house!" Albus ordered.

"No!" Ariana squealed. A bright flash of blue light – I assumed it was wandless magic - erupted from her hands, and Albus was sent flying. He landed on his back a few yards away, seemingly unharmed, while Ariana took off running.

"Ariana!" he screamed, sounding both angry and desperate. "Get back here, Ariana! You're going to get hurt! Ariana!"

As Albus left the clearing, the ground seemed to open up underneath me, and I was falling again. I sunk deeper and deeper into a large, black hole, while the empty field and Ariana's voice slowly evaporated.

"_All mimsy were the borogoves,  
And the mome raths outgrabe!"_

When I landed, I was relieved to find myself in the hospital wing. I thought that maybe I had woken up there, and all this stuff about young Dumbledore and Ariana and that stone basin had been a dream, or even a hallucination. But when I saw a younger, fresher-looking Madame Pomfrey holding the door open for Professor Dumbledore – the same, ancient looking Dumbledore I had left in his office – I knew my weird trip wasn't over yet.

"He's over there, sir," Madame Pomfrey said, pointing. "I'll leave the two of you alone."

"Thank you, Poppy," Dumbledore said, nodding politely as she slipped out of the room. The two of us turned our attention to the only patient in the room; a scrawny, older boy, who looked like he had taken a serious beating. His long, light brown hair was a complete mess, and a huge piece of gaze covered the left side of his face. His lip was swollen, and his bare chest was wrapped sporadically with bandages. The visible parts of his chest, arms, and face were covered with scars from.

My heart jumped, "Remus!"

"Remus," Dumbledore echoed, sitting down on the empty bed across from him. "You seem to be doing better. How are you feeling?"

_If this is 'better', I don't even want to see what he looked like before,_ I thought, sitting down on the edge of his bed. He looked terrible. Was this how he always looked after his transformations, when he didn't take his potion? I tried to push his hair out of his eyes, but I found myself unable to make any contact here, as well.

"I'm feeling fine, Professor," he said, wincing. "It was… I just had a bad night, that's all. You didn't have to go out of your way to see me."

I snorted, "You haven't changed at all, have you? You still assume that you're some huge burden…"

"Nonsense, I didn't have to go out of my way," Dumbledore said, smiling. He reached into the pocket of his robes. "And even if I did, so what? By the way, I brought you a little something…"

Teenage-Lupin's eyes lit up instantly, "Chocolate? You shouldn't have…"

"Nope, you haven't changed," I said, giggling. I could see myself falling for this younger version of Remus just as easily and quickly as I had the real one. He hadn't grown his mustache yet, but he was still handsome, in a young, innocent sort of way. He still had the same air about him; smart, calm, and kind, with just a hint of mischief.

"I thought that might cheer you up," Dumbledore said, watching Remus devour the chocolate bar. "Nothing like your favorite treat to cheer you up, eh?"

He nodded, swallowing before he said, "Yes, sir. Thank you so much."

"Moony!" a young, raspy-voiced James Potter shouted, pushing his way inside, past a protesting Madame Pomfrey. He was followed by his tiny entourage; Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black. I recognized all three of them from the photograph in Professor Lupin's drawer.

"Oh, hello Professor," Peter said meekly.

"Good morning," Dumbledore said, smiling broadly at the boys.

_He can't see you,_ I reminded myself, resisting the urge to hide from my mother's murderer. But despite knowing that, and despite knowing that teen-Black wasn't a crazed killer, I still couldn't stop my hands from shaking.

"Jeez, you look terrible, mate," Sirius said, shaking his head.

Remus rolled his eyes, "Thanks, Padfoot. That makes me feel loads better."

Peter gulped, "So, what are you going to tell…" He paused, looking at Dumbledore as if he suddenly remembered that the elderly wizard was there. "I mean, what happened?"

"I was attacked by my grandmother's cat," Remus said, his face reddening with embarrassment.

"That's the best you can come up with?" James asked, raising his eyebrow. "No one's going to buy-" He stopped suddenly, cringing with pain as Sirius stepped on his foot. "I mean; awwww, that's too bad…"

"It must have been a mean cat," Peter said sympathetically.

"Naw," James said, looking quite smug. "Moony is just a sissy."

Remus scowled, "Shut up, Prongs."

"Wait just a…" I said, livid with my latest realization. "Those were the names on the map that insulted me!"

"I'll leave you boys alone," Dumbledore said, slowly rising to his feet. I was anxious to see what Remus and his friends would be like without supervision, - and I wanted to make nasty comments about _them_ while they couldn't hear me – but as soon as Dumbledore left the room – and just as James was telling a particularly hilarious joke – I was falling again. At first, I tried to hold on to Remus to keep myself from moving on, but my hand went right through him.

_I think I get it now,_ I thought as I fell. Once you do it several times, falling doesn't affect you quite the same way. _I can only see stuff that's connected to Professor Dumbledore somehow…_

This time, I landed in a tiny room; the shape of the roof suggested it was an attic. The walls and the floors were made of the same dull, gray wood, and I could see a heavy downpour of rain through the single, tiny window on the opposite end of the room. Various magical instruments were hanging from the ceiling, most of which I didn't recognize. The only furniture in the room was an old, rickety table, with a matching bench on each side. The surface of the table was entirely covered with large rolls of paper, and two boys, who appeared to be in their late teens – or perhaps early twenties – looked over them intently, their eyes straining to see in the dark; the only source of light was an inadequate kerosene lamp.

I recognized young-Dumbledore immediately. His hair was cut very short, and he looked completely exhausted, as well as in need of a good shave. The other one had long, blond hair that he kept tied out of his face with a ribbon. He had sharp, pointed, unkind features.

"See what I mean, Albus?" the other boy asked, his voice ripe with an odd sort of passion. "We could have it all; you and me! We could have the whole world if we wanted it!"

He sighed, burying his face in his hands, "There's no doubt in my mind that we _could,_ Gellert. But do we _want_ to take it this far?"

I gulped, _As in… Gellert Grindelwald? No, it couldn't be. Professor Dumbledore would never associate with _the_ Grindelwald, one of the most feared dark wizards in history…_

"Of course we _want_ to!" Gellert said, smacking his fist against the table. A clap of thunder sounded somewhere in the distance. "Wizards are the superior race, Albus! It is ridiculous that we have to hide in fear of those… _muggles,_" he spat the word as if it were a curse, and I knew then that I was indeed in the presence of the feared Gellert Grindelwald.

"You're right about that…" Albus admitted.

"Muggles attacked your sister," said young-Grindelwald. "If it weren't for them, Ariana would be normal and happy. And she wouldn't have killed your mother, and you would be studying in Italy or wherever you wanted with that Doge fellow, having the time of your life! Muggles ruined your life, Albus! You have more of a reason to hate them than any of us!"

It was a lot to take in. Dumbledore, in cahoots with Grindelwald? But Dumbledore had defeated Grindelwald, it's one of the most famous duels in history; that's the only History of Magic lesson that's impossible to sleep through! My hands began to shake, and I felt an odd sense of betrayal coming over me. I reminded myself that no matter what Dumbledore said now – in this place that may not even be real – he wasn't like this in the real world. If he was, muggle-borns like myself wouldn't be attending Hogwarts.

"I know…" Dumbledore sighed.

"Don't be afraid of your ambitions, Albus," Gellert said, joining Dumbledore on his side of the table. He wrapped a comforting arm around his troubled friend. "It's all for the greater good, remember?"

"I remember," Dumbledore said, sounding determined. "Let's do it."

Gellert grinned, and – much to my surprise – pulled Albus into a tender, passionate kiss. Lightening struck outside, illuminating the scene perfectly.

"Oh shit!" I gasped, blushing wildly as I turned away, covering my eyes. This wasn't something I was meant to see. I was thankful when the floor below me melted away, and I watched the two boys embrace each other fondly as I fell further and further away.

This time, I landed in what appeared to be a small, modern-day flat. The wood floors were dirty and scuffed, and none of the ratty furniture matched. The owner had tried to cover the ugly blue-gray wallpaper with posters as much as possible. The phonograph in the corner gave me a vague idea of who the flat belonged to. Sure enough, seconds later Remus Lupin entered from what I assumed was the kitchen, carrying a tray of tea and cookies. The china, I saw as he sat the tray down on the coffee table, was all chipped and mismatched.

If it were possible, Remus looked even worse than when I had seen him in the hospital wing. He wasn't bloodied-up, but he looked extremely unhealthy. His skin was pale, his hair was unbrushed, and his shabbiest suit hung to his body loosely. He had dark black circles under his tired eyes, which made him appear even older.

"Here we go," he said, smiling as he sat down on the loveseat across from me. "It isn't much, but that's all I've got."

My heart fluttered, happy to _finally_ be acknowledged, "Thank you, Re-"

"Oh, it's quite alright," Dumbledore said as he reached for my teacup, his arm going straight through mine.

I jumped and shrieked in surprise. I hadn't even noticed him sitting there; I had been too distracted by Lupin's sad state. "I am so sick of being invisible," I pouted, crossing my arms as I leaned back into the lumpy sofa.

"I'm sorry the place is such a mess," Remus said, sipping his own tea. The way his mustache rested on the rim of the cup while he drank made me smile. "If I had known you were coming, I would have tidied up a bit."

"It defiantly has the essence of a bachelor pad," Dumbledore said, looking around the room. "Perhaps it could use a woman's touch?"

"I don't think so," Remus said, blushing slightly as he put down his cup. "No woman would come anywhere near this dump, or me for that matter, if she knew what she was getting herself into."

I really hated not being able to communicate; it took all my willpower to stay seated instead of comforting Remus, assuring him that I loved him and wanted him, and would spend the rest of my life in that dumpy flat if it meant I could be with him.

Dumbledore shook his head sorrowfully, "You're so quick to shut out the idea of love, Remus. I wonder; what will you do when you find a woman who loves you unconditionally, despite your affliction?"

"I'd probably have her checked into St. Mungo's," he said sarcastically, forcing a few dry laughs. My heart sunk. "At any rate, I don't think that's what you wanted to discuss with me."

"No, you're right," Dumbledore said, his normal enthusiasm returning. "I am here on business; I want to offer you a job."

"A j-j-job?" Remus stuttered in pure disbelief.

"Yes, a job," Dumbledore repeated. "As Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. I know the new anti-werewolf legislation is making it difficult for you to find work. I've looked the document over dozens of times myself, and a teaching position at Hogwarts is one of the few jobs that fits nicely into the loopholes."

"A teaching position…" Remus mumbled. The little color his face had was gone by now. "No, I couldn't possibly-"

"Why not?" Dumbledore asked with a broad smile. It was hard to imagine that this was the same man who had been planning to take over the world with Grindelwald just moments – or decades, I suppose – ago. "You're bright, caring, understanding… People like you; students would _love_ you-"

"Until they find out I'm a werewolf," Remus interrupted.

"They don't have to know," Dumbledore said, sounding rather carefree about the whole ordeal. "No one knew while you were a student, and everything worked out perfectly. And now Severus will be able to brew the Wolfsbane potion for you, so you won't even have to leave the castle during your monthly transformations."

"I doubt Severus Snape would be willing to go to all that trouble to help _me,_" Remus said, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

"When asked, I'm sure he'll comply," Dumbledore said, nodding as if he needed to reassure himself that this was the case. "Please, Remus. Hogwarts needs you, just as much as you need to get out of this… well, this dump. You're completely miserable here, not to mention squandering your talent."

"It is a bit trashy, isn't it…" He sighed, burying his face in his hands. "Can I think about it?"

"Sure, sure," Dumbledore said patiently. "Take all the time you need."

_Poor Remus,_ I thought, choking back tears as I watched. The urge to hold him was at an all-time high when the floor opened up again, and I closed my eyes, ready for another fall. This time, however, I fell backwards instead of down, landing flat on my back. I groaned, cursing as I opened my eyes.

I was back in Professor Dumbledore's office. My heart pounded as I scrambled away from the stone basin.

"W-what is that thing?" I asked Dumbledore, who was at his desk, writing something down with a pretty orange quill.

"You tell me," Dumbledore said, putting his quill down. "I'm sure by now you know it's more than just a big stone bowl."

I cleared my throat, "Well, all the runes carved into the stone part are related to memories and dreams…"

He nodded, "Yes."

"And," I continued. "I… the things I saw…"

"You don't have to tell me what you saw," Dumbledore said. "As long as you don't tell anyone else, either. That's fair, isn't it; that we keep this our little secret?"

I nodded, "S-sure… Anyway, everything I saw seemed to be events from the past. I'm not sure how true they are-"

"Completely true," he said wistfully.

"And everything had something to do with you…" I said, trailing off as I rose to my feat. "So… It's a… memory… sink… thing, right?"

Dumbledore giggled gleefully, nodding, "It's called a Pensieve. One can use it to examine their past more clearly. I find it is a lot easier to spot patterns and connections between events when I view them from the third person. And, I'll admit, sometimes it's just fun to go back and revisit some of my most fond memories."

_I think I like books better, as far as fun goes,_ I thought, laughing nervously. "Um, Professor… Luna said you wanted to see me about something?"

"Oh, yes!" he said, and I could almost see the little imaginary-cartoon light bulb above his head turn on. "That's right! I have good news for you, Miss Carroll!"

_If I was getting expelled for having an affair with a teacher, I don't think this is how he would approach the subject,_ I told myself, sighing with relief. "What is it, Professor?"

"You've been chosen to be the student speaker at the graduation ceremony!" He said excitedly, clapping his hands. A few of the former-headmaster portraits joined him, but most of them turned up their noses, still offended by my snooping.

I gulped, _I think I would have rather been expelled…_

Dumbledore looked at me curiously, "Violet, you look a bit ill. Are you alright?"

"I can't speak at graduation!" I said frantically. I held up my tremorous hands for him to see. "Look, my hands are shaking just _thinking_ about doing something like that."

"You're hands are always shaking," he shrugged, not a bit deflated. "Just shove them in your pockets, and no one will know."

"How did I even get picked for something like that?" I asked in dismay. "It's normally head boy or head girl who speaks at graduation, or a Quidditch star, or… I don't know, someone prominent."

"Yes," he said, nodding. "But I think you would be more interesting. I talked it over with your professors, and most of them think you're the best choice."

_I will kill all of them,_ my mind whispered viciously. "But Professor, I'm a nervous wreck. I can't imagine getting up and speaking in front of a huge crowd like that. Besides, I'm a horrible failure. You don't want _me_ speaking at graduation."

"Yes, I do," he said, sounding a bit irritated. "Violet, you're everything this school stands for. You've been faced with more than your share of challenges, but you – with the help of your friends and teachers – have been able to overcome any obstacle that has been placed in front of you, and you're a better person because of it. I chose you to be class speaker, Violet, because I feel, out of everyone in your year, you have learned the most from your experiences at Hogwarts. By far."

_How can you say no to that?_ I asked myself. _Not that I would have said no anyway; I'm terrible at saying no…_

"Alright, fine," I caved, rubbing my temple. "I'll speak at graduation. But if I freak out and throw up on stage, the blame's on you, sir."

He laughed, "If that happens – and I'm very sure that it won't – I'll clean it up personally."


	34. Chapter 34

"You're the class speaker?" Margret said, in a state of pure disbelief. I had just made my announcement to the entire common room, and most of my fellow students seemed just as shocked. The look on Margret's face made accepting Dumbledore's request worth the stomach ache it would no doubt give me.

"That's so great, Violet!" Aria said, clapping for me. "I'm so proud of you!"

Eddie Carmichael – Aria's boy-toy – snickered, "Isn't class speaker supposed to be someone people… Oh, I donno… _like_?" His comment earned him a swift slap from Aria, though she was smiling while she struck.

I glared at him, "Shut up!"

"Don't worry Vi-Vi," Ashley said, putting aside her Herbology chart to give me a hug. "I like you."

"Me too," Jeff said, nodding from his spot on the sofa. Like Ashley, he was working on his Herbology presentation for the oral portion of the test. After learning the Herbology N.E.W.T. consisted of written, performance, _and_ oral sections, I was overjoyed that Professor Sprout had kicked me out of her class.

"I'm going to try to go to the graduation," Luna said. As Jeff's personal assistant, she had been helping him glue his poster together. Under the graceful abilities of both Jeff and Luna, it was falling together quite nicely. "I bet you're a great speaker, Miss Carroll."

"I told you to call me Violet," I said, focusing on my History of Magic notes while we chatted. There was an oral portion to that test as well, but you had to pick three topics to research, and the graders would pick the one you presented. That part made me nervous. The unknown always made me nervous. "And I've never spoken in front of a group this large before. I'm actually rather nervous."

"_You're_ class speaker?!" Margret repeated, her face flaring. Her left eye was twitching, and I suddenly remembered how, at the beginning of the year, she and Percy Weasley had argued over which of them would be our student speaker. The honor was something like being valedictorian in a traditional muggle school, judging by what they were saying.

_This is a nice little bit of revenge,_ I thought, unable to hide my smirk. _I hadn't thought about that._

I also hadn't thought about how Margret would retaliate.

"Violet," she said to me at the end of Potions the following day. I had been scrubbing out my cauldron, hoping to escape before she could ask me to carry her books. The new one I had gotten for Christmas had an anti-stick spell in the outside coating, which made clean up a breeze. "Could you be a dear and wash out our cauldron, too? I really need to study for my N.E.W.T.s. I just don't have time for something so… petty."

"Yeah," Nicky Valentine said, crossing her arms as if she was daring me to refuse. The more time I spent with her, the more I realized that she was just a dumber version of her queen bee. In the past, I had considered Nicky an insufficient person, and refused to associate with her. I was surprised Margret _did_ – because her standards were even higher than mine used to be – until recently; Nicky would do practically anything if Margret told her to.

"Sure," I said darkly. "Of course I'll wash out your cauldron. I'd be happy to."

"And mine, too," Georgia Harris said, practically throwing her cauldron into the soapy water, splashing it all over me. Normally, the other girls stood by and watched while Margret ordered me around. Apparently, she had given them free rein over her slave.

I wiped the suds off of my face, flinging them back into the sink. "Alright."

The three girls trotted off, whispering and giggling to themselves. I closed my eyes, imagining how good it would feel to take my cauldron and bash them each in the head. When I opened my eyes, they were gone, and I got back to work scrubbing cauldrons. Once I was finished with mine – which, thanks to the anti-stick spell, didn't take very long – I moved on to Georgia's. I could tell it was hers because there were bits of barnacle-like crust stuck to the edges, a result of not stirring frequently enough. Margret would never be that careless. If anything, she would over-stir.

As unpleasant as the work was, it was made even more unpleasant by Professor Severus Snape, who decided he wanted to hover over me while I washed.

"Hello, Professor," I said, trying to sound as diplomatic as possible. "Do you need me to wash your laundry while I'm at it?"

"No, thank you," he said. "I don't want to get fleas. Once you get them, it takes ages to get rid of them. But I'm sure _you_ know all about that already."

"Professor Lupin does _not_ have fleas!" I snarled, scrubbing the crusted-cauldron furiously, partly because the stupid thing would not come clean, and partly so Snape wouldn't see that my hands were quivering. "And neither do I."

"So defensive," Professor Snape said, as if my hostility had shocked him deeply. "I'm merely suggesting that, for me, it isn't _worth the risk_."

_Well, for me, it's more than worth it,_ I thought, dropping my rag to peel off a particularly nasty potion-barnacle with my pruney fingers. "You have nothing to worry about," I assured him. "Re-… Professor Lupin doesn't have fleas." _And if he did, I wouldn't care._

Professor Snape smirked, "You call him by his given name? How sweet. I'm sure that helps ease his guilt."

"He has nothing to be guilty about," I said simply, though I could feel myself blushing.

"No, of course not," Snape said, shaking his head. "Sleeping with a student is nothing to feel guilty about, especially if you suffer from an ailment as dangerous as lycanthropy."

_Don't listen to him,_ my inner voice told me. _Remus is the best part of your life right now. Don't let mean old Snape ruin it for you. _

When I didn't say anything, he cleared his throat, "I have to ask; why on earth are you scrubbing out cauldrons for Miss Cambell?"

"I just felt like doing something nice," I said, turning on the sink to rinse out Georgia's cauldron.

Instead of hitting me with a witty comeback, like I had expected, Professor Snape roared with laughter. After just a few seconds, he had to lean against the counter to support himself.

"What?" I demanded. "What's so funny? I'm nice!"

"Yes, right," he said, starting to calm down.

"I am!" I said, resisting the urge to fling soapy water on him, the way I would have if he were Aria or Ashley or Jeff or Lutie, or even Professor Lupin. "I happen to think plenty nice…"

He shrugged, still snickering a little, "Whatever helps you sleep at night." He examined the cauldron I had just finished for a few moments before dunking it back into the sink. "You missed a spot."

I finished my work as quickly as possible, trying my hardest to not let Professor Snape's comments get to me. I sloppily put our cauldrons back into the seventh year cabinet before I left. It was a long walk back to the Ravenclaw common room, and that gave me some time alone to think; there was one thought that had been haunting me for some time now.

_Who did Margret tell?_ I asked myself. _No one has said anything to me! _

I ran over numerous possibilities in my mind, drawing the same conclusions over and over again. No matter how many times I examined the situation, I couldn't find an answer. She didn't tell Dumbledore; he would have mentioned something the day I saw his memories in the Pensieve. It probably wasn't another teacher; they would have turned me in. I considered Professor Snape as an option – just because he already knew doesn't mean Margret wouldn't tell him – but he was quickly ruled out. Margret disliked Snape, mostly because he never responded to our sucking up.

"It almost has to be a student," I said out loud.

"What almost has to be a student?" Luna asked me. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw her.

"L-luna!" I sputtered, holding my hand over my heart. "How long have you been following me?"

"Not long," she said sweetly. "What are you thinking about, Miss Violet? You look distressed."

_At least she's getting closer to just calling me 'Violet',_ I thought. "I'm just stressed out about my N.E.W.T.s, that's all."

"Oh, that's right," Luna said. "Mr. Flanders, Miss Zimmer, and Miss Aria wanted me to give you a message."

I blinked, "What sort of message?"

"They said, 'go to the _library_'," Luna told me, winking repeatedly while she wagged her eyebrows, like Jeff. "Something about how you deserve to have a little fun."

"You can stop winking now, Luna. I get the idea," I said, placing my hand on her shoulder. She really wasn't a bad kid. "But that can't possibly be right. Margret and her friends are studying in the library. If I go in there, she'll… make me do stuff for her." Luna didn't know everything about my situation – as far as I knew – but she was aware that Margret was blackmailing me. Not that it was some huge secret.

Luna shrugged, "That's just what they told me to tell you. They said you'd be able to decode the secret message, because you're so smart!"

"Secret… message?" I inquired. I shook my head, "Never mind. Thanks, Luna. You can go do… whatever it is you do. I'm going to the library."

"Okay!" she said cheerfully, skipping off down the hallway. Passersby looked at her as if she were a two-headed goblin. "Have fun in the library, Miss Violet!"

_Fun in the library_, I snorted, heading off in that direction. _They really over estimate my love of books. I mean yeah, they're fantastic, but if they really wanted me to have fun, they would have sent me to Professor Lupin's-_

I stopped suddenly, as if lightening had just struck my brain, "Ohhhhhhh, _that's_ what they meant… What the hell kind of secret message is that?! And to think, I almost went to the library! Ugh!"

"Are you alright, Violet?" Markus Gordon asked, pulling away from the Hufflepuff herd he had been walking with to join me. It was the first time he had spoken to me since the Valentine's incident. He sounded like the same old Mark now. Perhaps he'd gotten over it?

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, offering him a polite smile. "My friends just played a little joke on me, that's all."

He nodded, "Anyway… There's something I need to ask you about."

"What is it, Mark?" I questioned. I prayed silently that it had something to do with N.E.W.T.s, or why my robes were soaked, but I knew that wouldn't be the case. He had that look…

"Well, you know, there's a Quidditch game next week," he said. "Gryffindor against Slytherin, for the Cup. It should be quite exciting."

I nodded, "Yes, I'd imagine so."

"And I was thinking," he said. "We could go together. Since neither of our teams are playing, I thought it might be a nice date."

I sighed, "Markus, I told you before; I'm not interested in you. Not like that."

"Oh, that's right," he said, a tiny smirk creeping across his little round face. "You prefer older men, right, Violet?"

I heard an internal _splash_ as my heart plummeted into my stomach. My hands shook violently at my sides, _No… This can't be happening…_

"Margret told me all about your situation," he said smugly. "And I must say, I'm a bit insulted."

"M-m-mark," I stammered desperately. "Please-"

"I mean, I know I'm not the _best_ looking guy out there," he said. It was the biggest understatement in the history of big understatements. As far as I was concerned, nothing about Markus Gordon was physically attractive, and if it weren't for Percy Weasley, he would be the most conceited guy in our class. "But the fact that you prefer Professor _Lupin_ really bothers me."

"Shhh!" I hissed. "Someone could hear you!"

"He's just so… old," Markus continued. "And he dresses like a house elf. What could you possibly see there? I know I'm at least a cut above _that._"

"Even if I _didn't_ know Professor Lupin," I said, my voice wavering. I wasn't going to waste time justifying my feelings for Remus Lupin to Mark. He wouldn't understand, and it wasn't worth my time. "I _still_ wouldn't be interested in you!"

"Regardless," he said, his smirk returning. "I'll pick you up at breakfast, and we can walk down to the pitch together. And if you're not there, I'll tell everyone about you and your… affinity for our Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor."

"A-alright," I choked, wanting more than anything to cry. But for some reason, no tears would come. Unlike my robes, my eyes were completely dry. "I'll see you then."

"Good," he said, sounding very pleased with himself. He didn't even tell me goodbye as he disappeared down the hallway.

_I hate this,_ I thought, taking off – sprinting – for Professor Lupin's office. _I hate Margret so much. I can't believe she's doing this to me. I hate myself for _letting_ her do this to me._

I was completely out of breath when I arrived, and – like I'd been doing more and more frequently – I burst through the door without knocking. My heart sunk even further when I found the office empty.

"Violet?" I heard Lupin say from inside the classroom. My spirits lifted just hearing him say my name. "Is that you?"

"Yeah," I said, heading for the classroom.

"Don't come in here!" he said quickly. "It's not ready yet!"

"Um… okay," I said, slumping down into his desk chair, wondering what 'it' was exactly. I found the Marauder's Map open on the desk, and I occupied myself by watching people walk around. I debated on stabbing the dot labeled "Margret Cambell" with a quill, but I decided not to; not only would I be defacing Professor Lupin's property, but it wouldn't _actually_ hurt her…

Would it?

"Having fun?" Remus asked, poking his head into the office. His grin told me that he was up to something.

I laughed nervously, "Yeah…"

"I've been waiting for you," he said. "I was beginning to wonder if your friends had given you the message."

I blinked, "You…"

"I told them to make sure you stopped by tonight," he said, finally stepping into the office. "I have a little surprise for you." He approached the desk, touching his wand to the map, "_Mischief managed._"

"Surprise?" I repeated as I watched the map disappear. "What kind of surprise?"

"You'll see," he said, holding out his hands. I grabbed onto them, and he clasped his coarse, gentle fingers around mine. "Violet, why are you soaking wet?"

"Oh…" I breathed, looking down at myself. "I was washing cauldrons in Potions and I… splashed myself, I guess."

Without a word, he removed his wand from his belt and tapped the end of my nose twice. I felt a rush of air hit me from the floor, and I scrambled to keep my skirt down. Once the gust died down, I was completely dry.

"Thank you," I said, smiling at him.

"You're quite welcome," he said, kissing my forehead before he grabbed my hands again, resuming pulling me into the classroom. The curtains were all pulled down, but the room was still illuminated by the light given off by the projector. The desks had all been moved aside, to make room for a faded, antique sofa.

For the first time all day, I smiled. "What's all this?"

"I know you're stressed out about your tests," he said. "I thought you could use a night off, and I know how you like old movies…"

I cupped my hands over my mouth. This time, my tears showed up, right on cue. "This is so… Remus…"

"Go on, sit," he urged, giving my hands a brief squeeze before he went to finish setting up the projector.

My heart fluttered as I took my seat on the sofa, with my back straight and my hands folded in my lap. I heard Professor Lupin loading the projector behind me, and I wondered what movie it would be. _Probably something romantic,_ I thought dreamily. _Like_ Casablanca _or _Breakfast at Tiffany's…

"Violet, relax," Remus said, sitting down next to me. He placed one arm across my shoulder, and his opposite hand found a resting place on my knee. I leaned into him, loosening up instantly as the film began to play.

I blinked, "We're watching _Nosferatu_?"

"Is that alright?" he asked, rubbing my arm affectionately.

"Yeah, it's fine," I said. I decided then not to tell him about what happened with Markus Gordon; I was too embarrassed, and I didn't want to ruin our date. I knew it really didn't matter what movie we watched – _Nosferatu _wasn't a bad film, anyway – I would be too busy watching _him_. I watched the images from the projector flickering in his bright blue eyes, which were narrowed with concentration. He really was very handsome, despite his scars and graying hair, which had fallen out of place yet again.

_No, that's not it at all_, I realized, smiling as I pushed his hair back. _I love every scar, every gray hair. I love everything._

"You know," he said thoughtfully, turning away from the screen to smirk at me. "Usually, when you watch a movie, you watch the _movie._"

"I am watching the movie," I said, blushing as I quickly glanced back at the screen.

He chuckled, pulling me into a tight embrace, "I never realized I was so interesting."

"Of course you are," I said. "Now shhhh!"


	35. Chapter 35

"Violet, I must say; you look positively revolting!" Jeff said, clapping his hands excitedly.

Ashley nodded in agreement, grinning from ear to ear, "Like you haven't showered in days! Isn't it wonderful, Ari?"

Aria nodded, not taking her eyes off of her newest manga, "Oh yes, she looks down right horrid."

I examined my reflection in the mirror, and I must say; everything my friends said was completely true. My hair remained unbrushed, and I applied my makeup sloppily, – as Jeff suggested as an alternative to not wearing any at all – and I had used Ashley's foundation, which did not match my skin tone. I wore an oversized t-shirt with an offensive slogan on it, - borrowed from Eddie – which Aria had stained purposefully with mustard just moments ago. I had dug out my oldest pair of sweat pants, and my fuzzy purple slippers pulled the whole "letting myself go" look together quite nicely.

"I really do need a haircut," I said absently, tugging at one of my wild strands. "It's down past my shoulders now."

"Don't touch it!" Jeff snapped, swatting my hand. "You might accidentally fix it!"

I laughed, "Thanks for helping me ugly-up. I don't think Markus will want to be seen with me when I look like _this_."

"I know _I_ don't want to be seen with you looking like that," Ashley said, wrinkling her nose.

I rolled my eyes, "With luck, I'll be back in half an hour. Then we can go over some of those history dates."

"Nice outfit, Carroll," Nicky Valentine teased as I walked through the common room. The other students laughed like a pack of hyenas.

_Thanks, Nicky. I got it out of your mom's closet, _I thought bitterly. At least Margret was clever. Nicky was just mean.

Markus Gordon was waiting for me at the Ravenclaw table, looking very out-of-place in his Hufflepuff sweater. He had combed what little hair he had over, and loaded it with gel to make it _stay_ over. At first, his face lit up when I approached him, but he looked absolutely deflated within a few seconds.

_Maybe my plan will work,_ I thought, doing my best to sound pleasant as I greeted him. "Hello, Mark. Are you ready to go down to the pitch? I saw the teams heading that way; the game will probably be starting soon."

"I see what you're trying to do," he said furiously. "And it isn't going to work."

"What are you talking about?" I asked innocently.

"You're trying to make yourself look unattractive, so I won't want to be seen with you," he said, deducing my plan perfectly. Maybe I hadn't given him enough credit?

"I think you look nice," Luna said, her mouth full of toast.

I smiled, patting her on the head. She always seemed to show up at _just_ the right time, and now was no exception. If Mark saw what a nutter Luna was, perhaps he would begin to think I was off my rocker by association. "Thank you, Luna. You look very nice, yourself. Did you make those earrings?"

"Why yes, I did," she said proudly, fiddling with the large, carrot-shaped objects dangling from her ears. "Would you like a pair, Miss Violet?"

I gasped, "Oh Luna, that would be wonderful! I would _love_ a pair! You're such a thoughtful girl."

"Alright, let's get going," Markus said, sounding very agitated as he grabbed onto my hand and tugged me away.

I hated the way his hands felt. They were small, meaty hands, and his tiny fingers were just barely able to contain mine. They were cold, clammy, and completely awful. I bit my upper lip, trying to focus on memories of Lupin's hands while I walked; they were large, warm, and kind. I always felt a small spark run through my body when he touched me.

_If I can just keep my mind on Remus, I'll be able to get through this,_ I thought as Mark led me up to the Hufflepuff box. I felt utterly guilty about what I was doing. I felt like I was cheating, and the fact that I was doing it against my will just made it seem even worse.

"This is bound to be an exciting game," he said as we sat down. "I bet Slytherin wins."

"I'm rooting for Gryffindor," I said, partially out of spite and partially because I actually _was_. "That Potter is a good kid; terrific Seeker. And Oliver has had his eye on that cup since… forever."

"We both know that wanting something doesn't mean you can have it," he said, placing his hand on my thigh. Even through the fabric of my sweatpants, I could feel how cold and damp his hands were.

I nodded a wordless answer, struggling to keep my breathing steady. I balled my shaking hands into fists, trying my best to focus on Professor Lupin. The other night, when we were watching _Nosferatu _in his classroom, he had rested his hand on my knee. I looked down at the pudgy fingers wrapped around my leg now; how was it that just a few inches could be the difference between 'gentleman' and 'total pig'?

_Don't think about that,_ I told myself, jerking my gaze back up to the pitch. The game had already started, and Markus was watching intently, spouting off random Quidditch facts as if I had never played the game before. _Think about Remus. He's probably in his office right now. I wish I were there instead…_

"Violet, are you listening?" Markus asked, annoyed. "Violet!"

"Hmm? Oh!" I gasped, snapping back to reality. "Sorry, I'm a bit distracted. I have N.E.W.T.s on the brain."

"Or professors," he snorted. "This is _our_ date, Violet. You're supposed to be paying attention to _me._"

"I'm sorry," I said, though I wasn't sure why _I_ had to apologize. It was just the only thing I could come up with.

"You know," he said, sliding his hand further up my thigh. "Even like this, you're kind of cute."

I fought back a groan, "Thanks… I guess."

"Not that I approve of… this," he said seriously. "From now on, I expect you to dress nicely for our dates. Short skirts, preferably. I'm a leg man."

"_Dates_?" I spat disgustedly. "What the hell do you mean, _dates?!"_

Markus smirked wildly, "Well, that is what _normal_ boyfriends and girlfriends do."

"No…" I whimpered helplessly.

"Yes," he said sternly, leaning in to kiss me. I froze instantly, my whole body ridged. It was a struggle for him to pry my lips apart with his tongue, and once it got inside, it thrashed about my mouth rowdily.

_It isn't supposed to be like this,_ I thought, wanting more than anything to push him away, but unable to get my arms to move. My stomach felt like it was turning inside-out; if I had eaten breakfast, I probably would have thrown it up right there. _It isn't like this when Remus kisses me. Remus is always tender and sweet. Sure, sometimes his lips are a little dry, but he's so gentle…_

It seemed like an eternity before it was over. Markus looked at me, with a smug expression that suggested he was under the impression that I had enjoyed our kiss.

"Let's just watch the game," he said. "We can always snog later."

I was trembling, and suddenly the air around me felt very cold. I crossed my arms in front of my chest, suddenly wishing I had brought a sweater. Mark's kiss had left a disgusting taste in my mouth, which made pretending like it hadn't happened even harder.

Unlike the kiss, the Quidditch match – which was keeping Markus distracted thoroughly – was over too quickly for my taste. My spirits rose a bit when Harry Potter caught the Snitch, and when I saw how annoyed that made Mark, I clapped and cheered as loud as I could.

"Be quiet," Mark hissed. "You're embarrassing me."

"Go Potter!" I managed to scream one last time before Mark grabbed onto my arm and started pulling me out of the box and towards the castle, past the throngs of cheering fans.

_It's over,_ I thought as we walked through the huge double doors. _Now I can go back to my dormitory and take a really long, really cold shower._

Markus – like everyone else – seemed to hear my thoughts, because he grabbed onto my hand firmly and said, "Let's go for a little stroll around the castle, shall we?"

_I'd rather stroll off of a cliff,_ I thought, gritting my teeth. "Sure."

He laughed wistfully as we walked, "It's so hard to believe that we're graduating. It seems like just yesterday we were being _sorted_."

"Yeah," I agreed, hoping to make the conversation dull enough that he would suddenly remember something else he had to do, _far_ away from me.

"I heard Dumbledore picked you to be class speaker," he said. "That's quite an honor."

I shrugged, "I suppose."

"You're so modest," he chuckled. "If the headmaster had picked _me_ to be class speaker, I would need a bigger neck to hold my head up."

"I don't doubt it," I muttered.

"Hmmm? I'm sorry, I didn't catch that," he said.

"N-nothing," I said. "Just saying that I should probably get back to studying-"

"Back to studying, or back to your favorite teacher?" he asked haughtily. "It won't kill you to spend a little more time with me, Violet."

I groaned, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Markus said cheerfully.

I looked around; the hallway was empty. Trying to sound confident, I looked Markus Gordon in the eye, "Why are you doing this?"

"I don't know what you mean," he said, running his hand over his overly-gelled hair.

"You know what I mean," I said, my voice quivering. "Why are you forcing me to go out with you?"

"Because you're smart, talented, and beautiful," said Markus, smiling. "Well, _normally_ you're beautiful. Why wouldn't I want to go out with you?"

"Because I don't even _like_ you!" I shouted, stomping my foot. "You _know_ I don't like you. Why would you want to waste your time with me? I'll never want you, Mark."

"You think I care about what _you_ want?" he asked, pressing me against the wall with his short, muscular body. "Besides; once you've been with me, you won't even remember what you saw in that shabby old man."

His mouth was on mine before I could protest; this kiss was just as harsh and unpleasant as the last. One of his hands groped my breasts roughly, and the other started to untie the cord on my sweatpants.

_No_, I thought, finally finding the nerve to fight him off. Markus was shorter than me, but he had more muscle. I flailed around violently, and tried to reach for my wand, which was pressed between my skin and the elastic band of my pants. But Mark proved to be the strongest; before I knew what had happened, my wand was on the floor and both of my wrists were incased in one of his meaty hands.

Mark looked at me, looking almost mad with excitement, "Please, keep fighting. I like it!"

I tried to scream, but my throat had closed up. My whole body was shaking violently, but I kept kicking and struggling while Mark attempted to pull down my pants.

I felt completely engulfed with guilt. I promised Remus that I would never let another man touch me. I didn't want another man to touch me. _Kissing_ was bad enough; I would be lucky to be forgiven for that. Now this…

I'm pretty sure what happened next was a miracle. In an orange blur, what – at the time – appeared to be a small lion jumped onto Mark, clawing and scratching and hissing. He wailed in pain, thrashing about as he tried to dislodge the animal.

_I should be running_, I told myself. But my legs wouldn't listen. Instead, they turned to liquid beneath me, and I slid onto the floor, remaining in an upright position only because the wall was holding me up.

"Stupefy!" a third person shouted. A jet of red light hit the orange animal – which I now realized was a very large cat – and it flew off of Markus instantly. It turned in the direction of the caster, hissing wildly.

"W-weasley!" Mark stuttered, crawling up off of the floor. "Thanks, mate. I thought I was done for!"

"You're welcome, Gordon," Percy said, stepping into my line of vision. "That cat has been causing more than its share of…" he paused, his eyes resting on me. He looked at me curiously, as if he was analyzing the situation like he would a homework problem.

"Gordon," he said, frowning. "What on earth-"

"It isn't what it looks like!" Mark said frantically. "We were snogging, and we got a little carried away. Right, Violet?"

I gulped. What was I supposed to do? If I told Percy the truth, Mark would surely tell him about my romantic relationship with Professor Lupin, and I couldn't count on Percy to let something like that slide, no matter what Markus had done – or would have done – to me. But if I lied, what would stop Mark from doing this again?

I heard a voice screaming in the back of my mind, _Come on, Violet! Quit being such a pathetic little twit! You have to stand up for yourself! If you don't do it now, people like Markus Gordon and Margret Cambell will walk all over you for the rest of your life!_

_The old-me at least had that going for her,_ I thought for perhaps the thousandth time. _She wasn't afraid to stand up for herself. Maybe she had some qualities I shouldn't be so quick to give up?_

"Violet," Percy said, kneeling down next to me. "Is that how it happened?"

I looked over his shoulder, and saw Markus glaring at me. My mind was made up.

"No," I said. I had been going for stern, but the word came out unsteady and weak. In seconds, I found myself sobbing uncontrollably. "That isn't what happened. He was trying to take advantage of me, and that… creepy cat-thing stopped him."

"She's lying!" Mark screamed, looking utterly terrified as Percy rose to his feet. "You have to believe me, Weasley! She's been-"

Percy's wand hand rose, "Incarcerous!" I watched as several thick ropes wound themselves around Mark's wrists, legs, and mouth, silencing him. "Taking advantage of a woman is the foulest thing a man can do. You're a disgrace to this school, Gordon, a complete and utter disgrace!"

_That's more than he deserves,_ my inner voice said. _If Percy weren't here, it would be hard to resist the urge to jinx the hell out of that slime ball._

Percy turned to face me, "He won't be bothering you any more, Violet. I'm taking him to Dumbledore immediately; he'll be on the train home in the morning."

I nodded, feeling my bones re-form in my legs as I stood, "T-thank you, Percy. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't come along…"

"Don't mention it," he said. "Whatever dirt Margret's got on you must be pretty bad, if you let things go _this_ far."

My jaw dropped, "How-"

"I was her first pick to play the role of Mr. Gordon here," Percy said, nodding towards the bound-boy. "Don't worry, she didn't tell me your secret. I told her I wasn't interested. Percy Weasley is nobody's pawn."

_It was only a matter of time before he started referring to himself in the third person,_ I thought, almost smiling through my tears, which – now that they had shown up – wouldn't stop coming.

"At any rate," he continued proudly. "I do not approve of blackmailing. If you decide to stand up to Margret – which you should – I promise I will do what I can to help you."

"I'm sure you wouldn't be saying that if you knew my secret," I sniffled, wiping my nose and eyes on my shirt. _On the contrary, you would be the first to report me to Dumbledore if you knew the truth, Percy._

"Are you alright?" he asked finally. "You should probably go to the hospital wing. Would you like me to escort you, before I turn in this brute?"

I shook my head, "No, but thank you for offering. That's very sweet of you."

He tapped Mark's body with his wand, and soon the stout boy was levitating beside Percy, thrashing about and grunting while he tried to escape. "Oh, and one more thing, while we're here."

I blinked, "Hmmm?"

"You're a very… interesting individual, Violet," Percy said, smiling at me. "And I know you've fancied me for some time now. But you're just not my type. You understand, don't you? It just wouldn't work between us."

_And just when I was starting to think he wasn't so bad,_ I thought, not sure if I should be laughing or gagging. Instead, I offered him a polite smile, "I understand, and you're absolutely right, Percy. Things would never work out between us."

He nodded, "Thank you for being so reasonable. But please, go to the hospital. I'm worried about you."

"I will," I said – lied – as I turned to leave. As soon as I had turned the corner, I was running. I stumbled, having a difficult time keeping my balance in my slippers, and I had a hard time seeing through my cloudy, teary eyes.


	36. Chapter 36

"Violet!" Professor Lupin said excitedly as I burst into his office, nearly slipping in my slippers. His smile quickly faded when he took in all the details of my appearance. He rushed over to me hurriedly, almost falling over himself. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry!" I cried, burying my face in the front of his shirt. "I'm so sorry!"

"Sorry for what?" he asked, hesitantly wrapping his arms around me. His voice was racked with worry. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

I told him about everything that had happened, blubbering like a whale the entire time. I'm surprised Lupin was able to understand a word I said, but he must have at least got the jest of it, because he tightened his hold on me every time I got to a particularly gruesome part. By the time I was finished, he was holding me so tightly that it was difficult to breath.

"Violet, why didn't you tell me about this?" he demanded. He sounded just as angry as I knew he would be.

"I d-d-didn't want you to know," I sniveled. "I was so embarrassed…"

He placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back – uncharacteristically rough – looking at me seriously, "You could have been hurt, or… worse! I can't believe you didn't come to me for help! What were you thinking?!"

"I'm sorry!" I hiccupped, turning my head to the side to avoid looking him in the eye. The waterfall of tears kept on coming.

He sighed, drawing me into another – much more loving – embrace. One of his hands stroked my messy, unbrushed hair, and when he spoke again, only a hint of harshness remained. "I didn't mean to yell at you," he said. "I'm just… frustrated…"

"I'm sorry," I repeated again. I felt overwhelmed with guilt; those two little words kept pouring out of my mouth as if they had a mind of their own. "I'm sorry!"

"Shhhh, it's alright," he whispered.

"No, it isn't!" I cried. "I let someone else kiss me! How can you even _look_ at me?"

"Violet…" he breathed, as if it were the most preposterous thing I had ever said. "It's not like you _wanted_ it… Did you?"

"No!" I screamed desperately. "Of course I didn't! I don't want anyone to kiss me except for you."

"Then why would I be upset with _you_?" he asked, tucking my overgrown bangs behind my ears. "If anything, I should go kill that little git for even _thinking_ about forcing you to…" he trailed off, like it was too painful for him to finish his sentence.

My heart fluttered, "You mean… You aren't going to leave me?"

"Of course not!" He said, pulling me close again. "Violet… Why would you ever think something like that?"

I sniffled, "Because, I promised… I promised you that I would never let another man touch me… I've never felt so guilty before in my entire life. I knew it would hurt you if you found out, but I couldn't make it stop."

He sighed, shaking his head at me, "Violet… First of all, you shouldn't feel guilty. You didn't want this to happen…" he cleared his throat, and when I looked up at him, I saw that he was blushing slightly. "And… while that's a very… romantic thing to say, you shouldn't be saying things like that."

"Why not?" I asked, blinking away the last of my tears.

"Because you're so _young,_" he said sternly. "You have your whole life ahead of you. You shouldn't be pledging yourself to just one person, especially someone like me."

"But…" I gulped, clutching onto the front of his jacket. "I don't want to be with anyone el-"

"For now," he cut me off, solemnly. "You're not always going to feel that way. Trust me, your feelings will change."

"No, they won't," I said. I prayed that my quivering voice wouldn't make him think I wasn't so sure; I had never been more sure of anything. "Remus… If there's any silver lining to all this, it's that I realized how much I lucky I am to have you. Mark…" I swallowed; just thinking about him brought that bad taste back to my mouth. "He was so… _rough_. You're so loving and gentle when you kiss me, and when we're…" That was all I could say; my throat was closing up again.

He smiled kindly, and I saw that little flicker of mischief in his eyes, "I didn't realize that you enjoyed it so much."

I fought back the urge to roll my eyes, just in case he was being serious. "Of course I do. Why do you think I come here so often?"

"I always thought it was the witty conversation," he said.

"Well, that too," I said, smiling just a little.

"You're even prettier when you smile," he said, brushing his callused fingers over my lips. Once his thumb got to the corner of my mouth, he gently placed his hand on the back of my neck and pulled me into a kiss.

At first, my whole body went ridged; and I briefly relived the scene from that morning's Quidditch game. Professor Lupin sensed my anxiety right away, and his tongue rested against my closed lips patiently, like a visitor waiting for the door to be answered.

_It isn't going to be like that,_ I reminded myself. _Remus is nothing like Mark._ Trembling, I closed my eyes and opened my mouth simultaneously. His tongue entered my mouth slowly, and after a lot of persuasion, it was able to draw mine back into his mouth.

_This is how a kiss is supposed to feel,_ I thought happily. The tongue-massage was almost too much for me; all I could do was stand there and moan wildly. I let out a few tiny giggles when his mustache rubbed my face just the right way. _I love him so much…_

Reluctantly, - after quite some time – we both broke away, desperately gasping for air.

"See?" I said after I caught my breath. "I _love_ it when you kiss me like that."

"So do I," he said warmly, straightening my hair once again before he pulled me back into his arms. He sighed deeply, and I knew something serious was coming before he spoke. "Violet… You need to confront Margret."

Just the thought of doing such a thing caused my hands to shake, – even more than they had been – "I can't do that," I said. "You know I can't."

"This is going _way_ too far," he said sternly. "If she was willing to put you in a position like the one you were in today, who knows what else she will do?"

"I have to do what she says," I whimpered. "Or she'll tell everyone about… us. Then you'll lose your job, and-"

"It's just a job," he said, some of the frustration returning to his voice. "You're personal safety is more important than some _job_, Violet. Enough is enough!"

I bit my lip, not really sure what to say. I knew he was right; Margret had taken this way too far. But could I bring myself to stand up to her, especially when I knew Remus could get into trouble and I could wind up expelled just months before graduation? I was becoming a stronger person – I had stood up to Markus Gordon, even if I was sobbing the entire time – but was I ready for this?

He sighed, resting his chin on my head, "If you don't do something about it, I will. I can't stand to watch her hurt you anymore."

"No," I said quickly. "I'll do it." As I said the words, I wasn't sure if I would – could – go through with it. I would probably chicken out, or throw up, or my throat would close up entirely and Margret and her friends would laugh hysterically at my misfortune.

But I knew I had to try. If I wanted to keep growing in to a better, stronger person – someone worthy of Remus Lupin's love – I had to try.

When I made my promise to confront Margret, I had originally planned on waiting a while; I wanted to spend some time thinking out what I would say to her, to run over several possible scenarios in my mind before I went through with anything. But when I saw her smirking at me when I arrived at dinner that evening, I knew the time had come; I was completely terrified.

"Why, hello there, Violet," she said pleasantly. "Please, have a seat."

I gulped, looking up at my friends, who were sitting down at the other end of the table, "But-"

"Sit!" she snapped.

"Alright…" I said, my heart pounding as I sat down.

"I heard about what happened with you and Markus," she said, sipping her pumpkin juice. "So sad; I thought the two of you would be cute together."

Nicky snickered, "Too bad Violet prefers girls."

_That's right; Nicky thinks that I'm secretly in love with Ari,_ I reminded myself.

"Mark and I would _not_ have been cute together," I said, happy that my voice only quivered a little bit. "He tried to force himself on me, Margret."

"Hmm? Oh, that's right," Margret said, as if it were a perfectly normal occurrence. "Percy mentioned that. Such a shame; you were so miserable with him. Oh well, I'm sure I can find a replacement. For some reason, people think you're pretty."

"No," I said, trying to keep my breathing steady.

"Oh, of course _I_ know you're not pretty," Margret said, laughing lightheartedly.

Nicky shook her head, as if I were the most hopeless case she had ever seen, "You've always been so… plain."

Margret shot Nicky a glare, as if she didn't want the other girl to steal any of her thunder. "Nevertheless, there are plenty of misguided adolescents who would be happy to-"

"No," I repeated. "I meant I'm not going to go out with someone just because you want to make me miserable."

"You'll do whatever I tell you to," Margret snorted.

"No, I won't," I said, banging my fists on the table as I stood. I felt my confidence growing by the second. _You can do this,_ I told myself. _You can do this!_

"Yes, you will," Margret said, her face growing red. Blushing was not very becoming on her. The corner of her eye twitched the way it always did when something wasn't going her way. "If you don't, I'll tell everyone your secret!"

Somewhere inside me, I felt something snap; like a tiny toothpick that had been supporting all the pressure from Margret these past month. The sane part of me watched in horror as my hand grabbed a full goblet from the table and threw its contents at Margret, splashing pumpkin juice all over her perfect face.

"Find someone else to be your bitch," I said bitterly, throwing the goblet aside. "I am _through_."

She gasped, wiping her face with the sleeve of her robe. Her perfectly applied makeup was smeared across her face, and her dampened hair clung to her forehead.

The entire room grew silent. A loud, hollow clap pierced the air, nearly causing me to jump out of my skin. When I looked, I saw Jeff, standing on his bench, applauding slowly. He was almost immediately joined by Luna, and then Aria and Ashley. Eddie Carmichael and his group soon joined in, and in moments the entire Ravenclaw table was hooting and cheering. Apparently, Margret's fall from grace was as highly anticipated as mine had been.

I could tell by the look on her face that something inside Margret had snapped, as well. Instead of responding with her usual, verbal attack, she drew her wand, pointing it at me before she screamed, "Everte Statum!"

The curse hit me with full force, and I found myself soaring through the air, landing flat on my back halfway across the hall. I scrambled to my feet, pulling out my own wand. Margret was charging at me, and I held out my wand-hand; only to hear someone else act first.

"Expellamus!" Professor Lupin said, clearly and calmly. When I turned around, I saw him standing behind me. Margret's wand flew from her hand and landed in the table, right in the middle of some poor first year's dinner.

"Miss Cambell," he said. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Don't speak to me like that!" Margret snarled. With her makeup in disarray and her eyes filled with rage, she looked like something right out of a nightmare. I shivered. "You're just going to take _her_ side!"

"I'm not taking anyone's side," he said diplomatically. "But did you, or did you not, just attack Miss Carroll?"

"She threw a goblet of pumpkin juice at me!" she said, glaring at me.

"It was an accident," I said meekly, though I'll admit, it was difficult to hide my smirk as I lifted my quivering palms into the air. "Shaky hands, you know."

"You pathetic little twit!" Margret screamed, shooting fire at me with her eyes.

"Miss Cambell," Lupin said, placing his hand on her shoulder. "That will do."

"Get _off_ of me!" she screamed, swatting him away, nearly falling over in the process. "I know the truth! I could tell everyone about-"

"And if you do," he whispered. "Or if you attempt to blackmail Miss Carroll again, you can say goodbye to your Outstanding-mark in my class. Is that clear?"

Her jaw dropped, "You can't do that! I could have you kicked out of this school in a second! I could go to Dumbledore right now, and-"

"And what?" he asked, crossing his arms. "Do you have any proof?"

"I'm head girl!" Margret shouted. "I don't need proof!"

"And I'm a teacher," he said, as calm as calm could be. "The last time I checked, the students don't run the school."

I felt like a huge weight had just been lifted from my shoulders. Finally, I was free from Margret Cambell.

"As for you," Professor Lupin said, grabbing onto the back of my robe. "We need to have a little talk about your respect for the head girl, or rather, lack thereof."

"Yes, sir," I said, masking my smile as I allowed him to drag me out into the hallway. I watched as Jeff started another round of applause. I could hear the crowd chanting my name as we rounded the corner.

"Ha!" he laughed once we were alone. Mischief danced across his face as he grinned, "That was brilliant!"

I nodded, laughing a bit myself, "You almost had _me_ going there at the end."

"I was actually talking about you," he said, slinging his arm around my shoulder. "That look on Margret's face when you threw that juice on her… I'll never forget it."

I smiled proudly, "You were pretty amazing yourself, Moony."

He paused, looking at me curiously, "How did you…?"

"The map," I answered quickly, not wanting to tell him about my experience in Dumbledore's office. "I just… sorta figured…"

"I haven't been called by that name for… well, longer than I care to remember," he said. "It's… nice, I guess, to hear it again…"

"Thank you for helping me out back there," I said, resting my head on his shoulder.

He shook his head, "Don't mention it; it was my fault in the first place. If we weren't… you know, involved-"

"It wasn't your fault," I interrupted.

"Let's not waste time arguing over this now," he sighed, tugging me off down the hall. "I set up the projector again; this time I got _A Streetcar Named Desire._"

I grinned, "Fantastic."


	37. Chapter 37

Without Margret hounding me every chance she got, it was much easier to study for my N.E.W.T.s, which were fast approaching. By the beginning of May, I was in full swing; my extreme study habits had taken over. Stress was already beginning to settle in, and everyone could tell just by looking at me: when I wasn't in my uniform, I walked around in sweats, and my hair was always tied back in an unattractive fashion that kept it out of my way.

"Miss Violet, you _are_ amazing," Luna said to me one evening. "How'd you get to be so smart?"

I sighed, "Well, Luna-"

"She gets it from my side of the family," Jeff said proudly, hugging me tightly. "She's the kind of daughter a mother can be proud of."

The 'crew' – which now consisted of our original four, plus Luna Lovegood and Eddie Carmichael – had insisted on following me to Professor Lupin's office. I was hoping to get his insight on my History of Magic reports, and of course I was also hoping to get in a little alone time. But Ashley claimed she couldn't practice with our Ancient Runes flashcards without me, and Jeff said he couldn't study for Care of Magical Creatures without Ashley, and Aria couldn't study for _anything_ alone, and wherever Ari went, Eddie went, and wherever Jeff went, Luna would be found as well.

Our newest members hadn't been told about my relationship with Professor Lupin, but I'm sure they had their suspicions. At any rate, I wouldn't be able to have much contact with Remus with a whole slew of people watching; even if we didn't have to keep our love a secret, I couldn't imagine doing much more than holding hands in front of the general public. He didn't seem to mind; when we showed up at his office, he greeted us with a smile and slipped into the back room to make us some tea.

"I can't believe how quickly these tests are coming up," Eddie said as he settled into his chair. "I'm already starting to get stressed."

"If you follow the calendar Aria set up, you'll be fine," I said, sorting my sloppily written – yet very comprehensive – notes into neat piles on Professor Lupin's desk, which I was perched on with my legs crossed.

He wrinkled his nose, "Bleh, structure…"

"Awww," Aria cooed, gently fixing his curly brown hair. She kissed his forehead gently, "My poor baby."

A thought crossed my mind, "Hey Ari, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, dear," she said sweetly. "What is it?"

"Why does everyone think you're a lesbian?" I asked, trying my best to tread lightly.

"Oh, that," she shrugged. "You didn't already know?"

"Know what?" I asked, my curiosity growing.

"Vi-Vi was at home for Christmas when it happened," said Jeff. "But I can't believe no one told you. It's been years, and it was quite the scandal…"

"What happened?" Luna and I asked in unison.

"It was the Christmas Eve party, during our fourth year at Hogwarts," Aria said, looking off into space, as if she was recalling a favorite dream. "The holiday spirit was in the air, and all were merry."

I rolled my eyes, "Could I get the version without all the fluff, please?"

"I like the fluff," Luna said. "You're so poetic, Miss Aria. When I close my eyes, it's almost like I'm there."

"Suck up," Ashley grumbled, glaring at Luna. She still wasn't a hundred percent on board with the younger girl being Jeff's new right hand. I think she was a little jealous; Jeff and Ashley had grown up together, I heard one of them say.

Aria cleared her throat, "Anyway, I had a few too many Butterbeers," her cheeks turned a delightful shade of pink when she admitted this. "You know how I get. Without any inhibitions, I…"

"She made out with Nicky Valentine," Eddie finished, smirking at his girlfriend, looking almost proud. "It was _so_ hot."

Jeff nodded, "It really was… Someone should have taken pictures."

I gagged, "What?!"

Aria sighed, "Yup, that's how it all went down. After that, people sort of assumed I like women. Isn't that a tad… presumptuous?"

"Everyone knows Nicky likes to swing both ways," Ashley said, crossing her arms. "That little twit…"

"Jeff swings both ways," Eddie reminded her.

Jeff frowned, crossing his arms as well, "That is completely different. I believe that everyone in the world is beautiful, special, and deserves love. Nicky Valentine is just a selfish bitch."

"Ewww!" I squealed. "Why would you even _tell_ me something like that?! I'll never be able to get that image out of my head!"

"You asked," Aria said.

"It isn't a _bad_ image to have stuck in your head," Eddie said, draping his arm across Aria's shoulder.

"That was such a nice story," Luna said happily. She held up the plastic tub that housed our nail polish collection. "Mr. Flanders, what color did you want me to paint your toes?"

He scratched his chin thoughtfully, "I think I'm feeling fantastic-fuchsia."

"How come no one told me about this?" I demanded.

"Because no one likes you," said Eddie.

I scowled at him, "Hey!"

"He means _liked_," Aria said sternly, giving Eddie a dirty look. "People like you now."

"Well, the people in this room do, anyway," Eddie snickered.

"Luna!" Jeff groaned, burying his face in his hands. She had already completed his big toe. "That isn't fantastic-fuchsia! That's radical-rose! What the hell were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry!" she gasped, nearly dropping the bottle. "I'll fix it right away, sir!"

Ashley smirked, "Silly Luna, can't you even tell colors apart?"

"They're both pink," I said flatly. I paused, considering the conversation I was taking part in. "You guys need to stop distracting me!" I concluded. "I need to study! We _all_ need to study!"

"Study, study, study," Jeff mocked, crossing his eyes. "Lighten up, Vi-Vi. All you talk about these days is school work."

"Our N.E.W.T.s are in a few weeks!" I shouted, slapping my forehead. "I don't need to lighten up, _you_ need to buckle down and focus and-"

"The tea is ready," Professor Lupin said cheerfully, pushing his way into the office with a large tray if mismatched cups.

I groaned, but as always, my heart soared the second he entered the room. _So much for focusing…_

"Thank you, Professor," Aria said, gracefully accepting her cup. "I love peppermint tea."

"Me too," Ashley said, snatching up a flowery, cherry-blossom covered teacup off of the tray.

"Dude, you are _so_ hardcore," Eddie said, throwing back his tea in one swig. "You do that whole classy-gentleman thing."

Jeff nodded, taking a much more ladylike approach to drinking his tea, "He sure does."

"If you don't mind me asking," Eddie said, propping his feet up on the desk. "How are the ladies treating you, Professor?"

"They treat me just fine," he said, shooting me a brief glance before he sat down. I noticed he hadn't made a cup for himself.

Jeff wagged his eyebrows, "I'm sure they do…"

"Mr. Flanders, please quit moving," Luna said quietly. "You've made me mess up three times already…"

I shoved Eddie's feet off of the desk, "If you're not going to contribute something to our study group, leave."

"And you wonder why no one likes you," Eddie sighed.

"But Vi-Vi does have a point," said Aria. "We really do need to study."

"Thank you for helping us, Professor," I said, putting down my empty cup. _And I'm sorry if this isn't quite what you expected._

"It's no trouble at all," he assured me. The look on his face suggested that he knew what I wanted to say. "I'm always happy to help my students in any way I can."

"I'm sure you are," Jeff said, wagging his eyebrows again. Aria swatted at him with her Charms study booklet.

"You were a nerd when you went to school here, weren't you, Professor Lu-Lu?" Ashley asked, giggling.

"I told you to stop calling me that," Lupin said, straightening his tie. "And… yes, I suppose I was a bit… bookish…"

"Vi-Vi's a bit bookish," Ashley added matter-of-factly.

"A _bit_?" Eddie said, rolling his eyes. "She's more than just a _bit_ bookish. She's completely geeky!"

"But it's adorable," Aria said, pinching my cheek. "Isn't she the cutest little thing you've ever seen, Professor?"

I blushed furiously, _Ari!_

"Y-yes, well…" he gulped, loosening the tie he had just fixed. His face turned bright red. "Shall we crack some books and get to work?"

"Yes," I said quickly, swatting Aria's hand away. I looked at Eddie and Luna, neither of whom seemed to catch onto the undertones of Aria's comments. I sighed with relief, "Please, let's get to work."

"Here, Luna my child," Jeff said, handing Luna a pile of cards. "Do you think you could color these for me?"

"Of course, sir," Luna said, obediently pulling a box of crayons out of her pocket.

"I was actually hoping to get your opinion on my History of Magic reports… Professor," I said, having to think about how to address him. I was getting used to calling him by his given name outside of class, but I wasn't quite ready for Eddie and Luna to know the truth.

"Alright, let's have a look," he said, skimming the rolls of parchment I handed him. "What topics did you pick?"

"The history of Hogwarts, common misconceptions about muggles in the fifteenth century, and…" I trailed off, swallowing the lump in my throat before I continued. "And the history of discrimination against those who suffer from magical ailments - with a focus on lycanthropy."

Professor Lupin's face lost any hint of color, "Oh…"

"I wanted to pick topics I felt strongly about," I said nervously, adjusting my headband.

"Vi-Vi!" Ashley sobbed, throwing herself at my feet. "I need help! I don't understand Transfiguration at all!"

"Okay…" I sighed, running my shaky hand through my hair. "What is it you don't understand?"

"Everything!" she cried. "I can't remember a bloody thing! Who even teaches that class?"

"Calm down," I coaxed, sounding a little impatient. "You remember more than you think; you're just starting to get stressed out."

"But you're even stressededer!" she said. "You've already thrown up three times this week, and you're _still_ the studying champ! How do you do it?"

"You've thrown up three times?" Luna gasped. "That's amazing, Miss Violet!"

I ignored Luna's comment, "I guess that's just how I function. I worry myself sick, and that pushes me to study even harder."

"You're a freak, Violet," Eddie said, shaking his head.

"Yeah," Jeff agreed. "When you said you're a 'glutton for punishment', you weren't kidding."

"But that doesn't work for everyone, Ash," I said, twirling one of her pigtails around my index finger. "You're a really laidback person, so you'd probably retain more information if you relaxed and took this one step at a time. I thought you weren't too concerned with your scores, anyway…"

"That was before I found out only three other people are after that Ministry internship I want," she said, allowing Aria to wipe away her tears. "Now that I know I have a serious chance at it, I want it even more!"

"I really worry when you talk like that, Violet," Remus said, putting down my papers. "It isn't healthy to be that stressed out."

"I'll be alright," I assured him. "I'll be able to relax once these tests are over."

"Have you decided what you're going to do after you graduate?" asked Aria.

I knew what she meant by the question; she wanted to know if I had chosen to take over the Starlight Boarding House, or pursue some other career. But her words, for whatever reason, caused me to think of another question.

"I'm still not sure," I said, my voice quivering. "I think I want to wait until the N.E.W.T.s are over to make my choice."

She nodded, "That's a good idea, I think. You should take as much time as you need. This is a very important decision."

"Right," I nodded, but my mind wasn't focused on the question she had asked me, or even the notes I had been looking over. I now had a new problem to fret over:

_What will happen between Remus and I after I graduate?_


	38. Chapter 38

The question didn't leave my mind – not even for a second – over the course of the next several weeks. As much as I preached focusing on studying, I couldn't keep my mind on my school work. The question haunted my thoughts like an angry poltergeist. Even as I stepped into the testing room for my first N.E.W.T. – the written Charms exam – my thoughts were on Professor Lupin. I was so distracted I didn't even see Professor Flitwick when he approached me, and I jumped a little when he spoke to me.

"Violet," he said, clearing his throat as he placed my exam on my desk.

"Yes, Professor?" I said, holding my hand over my heart in an attempt to steady it.

"Show them what you're really made of," he said, holding out his pudgy hand. "And good luck."

I accepted the handshake gratefully, "Thank you, sir."

"Teacher's pet," Margret said darkly – due to alphabetical seating, she was sitting in the desk in front of me – as Flitwick moved on down the row.

_Ignore her,_ I told myself, taking a few deep breaths. _Focus on Charms… Charms…_

Professor Flitwick cleared his throat, "Alright, all the tests have been distributed. You have until 10:20 to complete the written portion of your Charms exam. You may now begin."

Simultaneously, everyone in the room turned over their test packet and dipped their quill into their vile of black ink. I had been using purple ink for so long, writing in the standard ebony felt a little awkward, but that was the least of my worries.

_I wonder what professors even do during the summer,_ I wondered while I scribbled my answers. Even when I wrote slowly, my handwriting was still hardly readable. _Maybe I could invite him to stay with me? After I graduate, we won't have to hide our relationship anymore. We can go out like a normal couple._

I honestly don't remember much about the two weeks of hell… erm, I mean testing. All of my memories are a foggy blur of tests, walking to my next test, sleeping, and eating just enough to sustain myself.

The only time I saw Remus during the first week of N.E.W.T.s was during testing for his subject. The only times I wasn't testing, he was teaching, and in the evenings, all I wanted to do was sleep. At last, Saturday arrived, and with half of my tests out of the way, I felt little to no guilt about slipping off to Professor Lupin's office.

"Have you been working on your graduation speech?" he asked me while we drank our tea. I had made him promise that he wouldn't mention the exams during our little date; just hearing the word N.E.W.T. made me lose my appetite.

"A little," I sighed. "I'm not really sure what I want to say. I want it to be… I donno, special, ya know? Graduation is something people remember for the rest of their lives."

"I honestly don't remember much about my graduation," Remus shrugged. "At your age, this castle seems like the center of the universe, but one of the first things you'll learn after you graduate is that Hogwarts – while you will remember it fondly – is just a small stepping stone in your life's journey."

"That's… really depressing," I said, shoving a tiny cookie into my mouth.

"You really think so?" he said curiously. "I thought it was very uplifting when I was your age; knowing that there was more to the world than this."

"I guess when you put it that way…" I trailed off. "Do you mind if I put some of that mush in my speech?"

He laughed, "Go ahead. Have you given any more thought to what you want to do _after_ the speech is over?"

_I want to spend the rest of my life with you,_ I thought, but I answered with, "Not really; I haven't had a lot of time to think about it."

"Well, take your time," Remus said, placing an affectionate hand on my shoulder. "It's like Miss Tate was saying, this is an important decision for you. And… You know I'm here if you need to talk about it, or anything, for that matter."

I nodded, "I know. Thank you."

_Just ask him,_ my inner voice screamed at me. _Just ask him to come spend the summer with you!_

I gulped, "R-remus?"

"What?" he asked thoughtfully.

I couldn't go through with it, partly because a new possibility crossed my mind. I swallowed my original question, and instead posed a new one. One without any weight to it. "D-do you think I could recite my History reports to you one more time?"

"Sure, of course," he said, leaning back in his chair.

My heart pounded as I rose to my feet and walked to the front of the room, _What if he _doesn't_ want to continue our relationship after the school year ends?_

The weekend went by way too fast, and when Monday finally rolled around, my fellow seventh years seemed even more stressed out. I, however, was looking forward to my first N.E.W.T.-day where I didn't have to take a test. Jeff, Aria, and Ashley all left early for their Herbology test, and I stayed behind to discuss my situation with Goober.

"I can't believe I never thought of that possibility before," I said, looking into his good eye – which happened to be his only eye. "I guess it just never crossed my mind. Remus has always been so good to me; he tells me he loves me all the time. But I suppose it's probable… you know, that he only wanted to… fool around… And then once the year ended…"

I shook my head violently, my eyes flooding with tears, "No! He does love me… Doesn't he?" I looked at my stuffed dog, desperate for an answer. When – after several moments – I realized that Goober didn't have anything to say, I growled, throwing him off of the bed, "You stupid dog! Can't you say something constructive for a change?!"

I stared at the pathetic lump of cloth on the floor, and it only took me a few moments before I was scooping Goober up in my arms, holding him tightly. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! You know how I can be sometimes…"

For once, his silence was actually a comfort.

"After the N.E.W.T.s," I told myself. "I can deal with everything once these damn tests are over. If I can just get through these exams, figuring out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life will seem like a piece of cake."

Knowing that the N.E.W.T.s were the only thing standing between me and making important life decisions somehow made them go by faster; I wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse. Before I knew it, it was Wednesday afternoon, and we all stood in line outside of Professor Lupin's classroom, waiting to take the Defense Against the Dark Arts performance exam. I found that I liked the performance portions the best; they were given in alphabetical order, and once you finished, you were free to leave. Being a Carroll, this meant I usually didn't have to stay much longer than an half an hour. Ashley – who, being a Zimmer, was at the end of the line – was not so pleased about this.

I twirled my wand between my fingers impatiently. My stomach was doing flips that would have won gold in the Olympic games. It had been roaring with hunger for hours, and the whole group would stare at me when it let out a particularly loud cry. But I knew from experience that if I ate before an exam – of any kind – I would get sick. My friends had forced some toast down my throat before that morning's Transfiguration performance exam; I think the scorers were impressed at how quickly I could transform a desk lamp into a barf bucket.

At long last, Margret Cambell stepped out of the testing room. We glared at each other, and I swear I saw ice sickles dancing through the air as I stepped out of the line and into the exam room. My stomach gave another lurch as I closed the door behind me.

I found myself inside a small, nearly empty room. Against the wall opposite of me, three people sat in identical wooden chairs, scribbling down notes on their clip boards. The first was a short, pudgy woman with thinning gray hair, the second was a tall, lanky man who couldn't have been much older than twenty-five, and the third was Professor Lupin.

_I love the way he looks when he concentrates…_ I thought, watching him while I waited. Somehow, his presence calmed me – the opposite of its usual affect – and for once, my hands weren't shaking.

"Alright, Miss… Carroll," the woman said, with a thick accent I couldn't recognize. "Are you ready to begin?"

I felt a rush of confidence – such a nice feeling – and I nodded, "Yes, ma'am," I said, flashing Remus a brief smile. "I'm ready."

She cleared her throat, "Miss Carroll, would you please demonstrate for us the Patronus charm?"

_This is too good to be true,_ I thought. _I can do that. Piece of cake._

Again, I nodded. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I thought about Remus. I thought about him dancing with me in his office, making me tea, kissing my lips, slowly peeling off my clothes…

I shook my head rapidly, blushing as I snapped back to reality. _Best not get _too_ happy,_ I thought, holding out my wand as I said, "Expecto Patronum." A jet of silver light shot out from the tip of my wand, taking the familiar shape of a penguin. It glided around the room – for a bird that can't fly, it was very graceful – and zigzagged between Professor Lupin and the other two judges a few times before it disappeared.

"Excellent," the woman said, scribbling something down on her clipboard.

"Violet is one of my best students," Lupin said proudly. He smiled at me; not the usual smile a teacher gives a student, but the warm, kind smile he normally saved for when we were alone.

"Aww, I'm not all that," I said coyly, turning away to hide my blush from the other judges.

Seeing him smile made up my mind. As soon as the N.E.W.T.s were finished, I was going to ask Professor Lupin to come stay with me for the summer.

The last two days of testing were a piece of cake. On Thursday, I had a free day, and I spent the evening with Remus, putting the last touches on my oral History reports. I was grinning and giggling the entire time, but despite all his probing, I refused to reveal the cause of my happiness. In my heart, it was as if he had already said yes.

The extra reviewing turned out to be a good idea; I was asked to recite my report on common misconceptions about muggles, the one I was the least prepared for. However, I only slipped up twice, and my throat didn't close up, and I didn't throw up.

A huge weight lifted off of my shoulders as I walked out of the exam room. I felt so light, I thought I was floating down the halls on my way to the common room.

"If I have three cups of sugar," the statue said to me. "And you take one away, how many cups of sugar do you have?"

_Thank goodness it's an easy one,_ I thought. _My brain is totally fried._ "Two," I said.

"I'm sorry, but that is incorrect," the statue said.

"It is not!" I snarled. "Three minus one is two!"

"But that isn't the answer to the riddle," Luna said, causing me to jump with fright. So much for giving my nervous stomach a break. "If the statue has three cups of sugar, and you take away one, then _you_ have one cup of sugar."

"That is correct," the statue said, allowing the door to open for us.

"I'm a N.E.W.T.-level student, and I just got outsmarted by a twelve year old…" I said in disbelief as I followed Luna inside. Once I settled into my bed, I did something I hadn't been able to do for months: I read. Cracking open that book – the anthology Lutie had given me for Christmas – was like Nirvana. By the time my friends returned that afternoon – their arms full of Butterbeer and sweets – I had already finished the first half of the huge volume.

"Where did you get all this?" I asked, reluctantly putting my book down.

"From the Slytherin party," Jeff said as he proudly dumped his armful of candy onto my bed.

"Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff are having a joint party," Aria explained as she opened a Butterbeer for each of us. "Only about half of them are there right now, though; the Arithmancy test doesn't end until later. We stopped by there to see Eddie."

_No one told me about a party,_ I thought, trying to hide my disappointment as I crawled out from under the covers. Aria offered me a Butterbeer, and I accepted it gratefully.

"But Loony-Luna told us you were here," Jeff said, using the new pet name he had invented for his assistant. "So we decided to take our spoils and share them with our darling daughter."

I smiled, "Thanks guys. But if you'd rather be at the big party-"

"Screw the big party," Ashley said, her mouth full of candy. She swallowed, "We wanted to spend time with our little girl."

Jeff nodded, "We figured, now that tests are over, you'll be wanting to spend the next free-week with your darling Professor Lu-Lu."

I blushed, feeling a little sad, "D-don't talk like I'm blowing you guys off…"

"It's alright," Aria said, sitting down next to me. "We know that it's time for you to leave the nest."

"I just didn't think this day would come so fast!" Ashley sobbed.

"There there," Jeff cooed, rubbing her shoulder affectionately. "We can still pop in every day, just to check in on her." He looked up at me, his expression serious. "Vi-Vi, you know… We're not going to be around forever…"

I rolled my eyes, "Jeff, we're the same age. There's always a chance that I'll die first."

Aria gasped, pulling me into one of her half-drunken hugs, "Don't talk like that!"

"Yeah," Ashley sniffled. "Burying a child is every parent's nightmare."

"Can we move on to a less depressing subject?" I requested. "After two weeks of N.E.W.T.s, I'm already bordering on suicidal."

"Okay… Like… What are you and Professor Lu-Lu going to do now?" Ashley asked.

"Please tell us," Aria begged. "We've all been dying to know! We just didn't want to bother you while you were studying."

"And when she says 'we', she means Ashley and I wanted to, but Ari wouldn't let us," Jeff moped, crossing his arms.

I gulped, "Actually, I was planning on-"

"Planning on what?!" Ashley demanded, grabbing onto the collar of my shirt desperately. "What?! Out with it!"

"Don't interrupt me!" I yelled, pushing her away. "I was going to ask him if he wanted to come stay with me this summer!"

The three of them gasped in unison, and then shared a long, wordless glance. I hated it when they did stuff like that; I was starting to believe they _were_ mind-readers.

"W-what?" I asked, my cheeks growing warm as the moment of silence continued.

"Awwwww!" they squealed – again in creepy-unison – as they all tackled me at once. My head collided roughly with my headboard.

"That's so cute!" Jeff said, ruffling my hair.

Ashley nodded, "The cutestestest!"

"I'd expect nothing less from our little Vi-Vi," Aria said proudly. "You know, I think I'm going to write a romance novel about all the stuff that's happened to her this year…"

I groaned, "Please don't…"

"That would be so kinky," Jeff giggled.

"I might actually _read_ a book like that…" Ashley said dreamily.

I sighed, the ends of my mouth turning up, forming a tiny smirk, "You know, maybe I _won't_ ask him…"

"You will too ask him!" Aria scolded. "You will ask him right now!"

"Now?" I blinked. "But-"

"You heard your other mother," Jeff said sternly, placing his hands on his hips to show that he meant business. "Now, go ask Professor Lu-Lu if he'll join you for a summer of pleasure!"

I blushed furiously, "But-"

"No, she can't go now!" Ashley said, and for a moment, I was thankful. However, my relief soon vanished when she continued, "We have to fix her hair first!"

I rubbed my temple, "Fine, I'll go ask him now… Jeez…"

*

Author's Notes

Hey there, remember me? I just wanted to say thanks, once again, to all the awesome people who reviewed. Over a hundred now! And Lovrofthearts, thank you especially, for reviewing older chapters. That made my day.

I'm sure you're all wondering – and until just a few weeks ago, so was I – if this story will continue on once the school year ends. Well, my friends… Yes, it will. I have decided to continue on into the rest of the series. I just have too much fun writing this. You can thank Negativa, for first putting that idea into my head.

At any rate, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope you'll come back next time!

Peace, love, and all that good crap,  
Komaki.


	39. Chapter 39

"Professor, I want you to come stay with me this summer," I said quietly as I walked down the hall. "No… _Remus_, I want you to come stay with me this summer… No, that isn't it either…" My heart was pounding, and my hands were quivering. I wanted to get the words just right, but no matter how many times I rearranged them or replaced them with synonyms, it just didn't have the feel I wanted.

_It doesn't matter how you say it,_ my inner voice told me, and I couldn't help but smile. _He's going to say yes. He loves you…_

I was startled out of my blissful trance when I collided with a large, black object. Thinking I had just met a Dementor, I screamed girlishly and stumbled away. However, I soon realized that it was only Professor Snape; slightly less dangerous, but I felt my happiness being sucked away all the same.

"Going to see your werewolf-lover?" he asked darkly.

"That's none of your business," I said, crossing my arms. I had a little bit of confidence left over from my N.E.W.T.s; I had planned on using it when I invited Lupin to my home for the summer holiday, but right now I needed it more.

"You're such a foolish girl," he sneered. "Allowing yourself to get involved with a mangy old…" he paused, and a broad grin spread over his face.

I gulped, _I don't like where this is going…_

"Why don't you come along with me?" he said, grabbing me by the arm and dragging me off down the hall, in the opposite direction of the one I wanted to go.

"No," I said, my confidence fading as I tried to free myself without any success. "I have to go see-"

"He isn't there," Snape said, sounding a little too pleased. "Lupin's gone out for a little stroll this evening. We're going to follow him."

"How do you know where he's going?" I asked, giving up on my efforts to escape Snape's grasp. Something just wasn't right. This whole situation felt… _wrong_.

"He left that map sitting out on his desk," Snape explained. "I'm sure you know the one I'm referring to."

I nodded, "Yes, I do."

"Leaving such an item out in the open..." he said. "Lupin really has grown arrogant; and that will be his undoing."

"What are you talking about?" I demanded.

"You'll find out soon enough," he said, tightening his grip on my arm. "I'm so glad I ran into you, Miss Carroll. I think having you there as a witness will make it even sweeter."

_I have a _really_ bad feeling about this,_ I thought, gulping as I allowed Professor Snape to pull me out of the castle and across the grounds. By the time we reached the Whomping Willow, my heart was thumping so loudly I could hear it in my ears.

"Wait here," Snape said coldly, dropping my arm. He dug his wand out of his robes, and – using wordless magic – applied pressure to the tree's secret knot. He nodded towards the tunnel, "Down there, Carroll."

I nodded, obeying the command wordlessly. I decided not to tell Snape that I now knew exactly where we were going. For some reason, I recalled a tip Uncle Jack had given me when he taught me how to play poker at the tender age of seven:

"_Never let them see your cards," he had told me._ _"And never let them know what you're thinking."_

At the time, I thought that such a thing went without saying. Now, I realized how important such a strategy was. I had a knowledge of my surroundings that Snape didn't know about, and that could come in handy eventually.

I waited patiently, and after some time, Professor Snape joined me in the tunnel, carrying an old, shabby cloak. Had he been holding that the whole time?

He must have noticed my confusion, because he informed me – quite condescendingly – "It's an Invisibility Cloak."

"What is an Invisibility Cloak doing out here?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "They're extremely valuable. Who would just leave one lying around?"

"If my suspicions are correct – and I'm sure they are – that Potter boy dropped it," Snape explained, covering himself with the cloak. He disappeared for a moment, but he quickly held the cloak open, glowering at me with distaste, "Get under here."

I wrinkled my nose, "I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you, Professor."

"Get under the cloak," he snarled. His voice dropped to a whisper as he added, "And be quiet. Not a word out of you, no matter who or what you see. Got it?"

I nodded, slipping under the Invisibility Cloak with Professor Snape. He smelled strongly of potion ingredients; not necessarily an unpleasant odor, but a strong one. We walked slowly, our bodies pressed together awkwardly as we made our way down the dark tunnel. My head was spinning, trying to figure out a possible explanation for everything.

_Wherever we're going, we're trailing after Remus,_ I knew. _And if Harry Potter's Invisibility Cloak was out here, then he's probably around somewhere. How did such a young student get a hold of something like an Invisibility Cloak, anyway? Oh, never mind that! What does he have to do with Remus?_

I gulped, _What if they _are_ having an affair? I mean, I _was_ only joking when I said that. But Remus was so quick to deny it…_

_No!_ I screamed mentally, shaking my head as we arrived at the entrance of the Shrieking Shack. _That is completely disturbing! Jeff's starting to get into my head! Ahh!_

"If you're going to tell them the story, get a move on, Remus!" I heard a croaky voice snarl as we tiptoed up the staircase, which proved to be very difficult. We had to stand even closer together to stay completely concealed by the cloak. "I've waited twelve years, I'm not going to wait much longer!"

I heard Lupin's voice as we walked, but I couldn't make out exactly what it was he was saying. We walked slowly in the direction the voices were coming from. A loud creak erupted from the floor; Snape glared at me so coldly that I shivered.

Remus poked his head out of one of the nearby rooms. He looked right at us, and my muscles tightened. They relaxed quickly when he retreated back inside, "No one there…"

"This place is haunted!" a third voice creamed hysterically. It sounded like a boy, but I was pretty sure that it wasn't Harry.

"The Shrieking Shack was never haunted," Remus said calmly. "The screams and howls the villagers used to hear were made by me."

We continued towards the door – which had been left open – very slowly. Snape was still giving me a dirty look.

_It's not like I did it on purpose,_ I thought, glaring right back at him. _And how do you know it wasn't your fault to begin with? _

At long last, we finally reached the doorway. What I saw inside that dusty little room made my whole body shake and my stomach turn to liquid gelatin. There were five people inside. Remus was standing with his back to us, babbling away about something-or-other; I was too sick to really comprehend what he was saying. Harry Potter – just as Snape had predicted – was there as well, listening to the story with a mixed expression; I couldn't tell if he was curious or furious. A girl with bushy brown hair stood next to him, also listening, though the look on her face was that of someone who was analyzing the story's every detail carefully. On the bed sat another boy, who looked like a younger version of Percy. His leg was broken, and looking at the disfigured limb made me cringe. His face was twisted with pain.

But it was the fifth person who startled me the most; who made my stomach turn inside-out and my hands shake ferociously when I saw him. He looked just like his picture in the paper: long, matted hair, tall, and so thin that he looked as dead as the thirteen people he had murdered. This sunken eyes rested on the mini-Percy as if he were a piece of meat.

_Sirius Black! _My mind screamed. I felt the Butterbeer and sweets in my stomach trying to make their way up, and I clamped my hands over my mouth. I looked up at Snape, who only rolled his eyes at me before he returned his attention to the scene in front of us.

_He knew Black was here,_ I reasoned. _Lupin must have seen him on the map, and went out here to apprehend him. And then Snape saw the map, and was on his way out here when I ran into him. But then what are these kids doing here?_

_Try to calm down,_ I told myself. _Between all of us, Black isn't going anywhere. Just listen, they might need your help…_

"Dumbledore's trust has meant everything to me," Remus was saying. His voice was dripping with shame. "He let me into Hogwarts as a boy, and he gave me a job when I have been shunned all my adult life, unable to find paid work because of what I am. And so I convinced myself that Sirius was getting into the school using dark arts he learned from Voldemort, that being an Animagus had nothing to do with it… so, in a way, Snape's been right about me all along."

Hearing the name put a disgusted look on Black's face, "Snape? What's he got to do with it?"

"He's here, Sirius," said Remus. The way he spoke to him so calmly made my stomach lurch again. "He's teaching here as well."

_What are you doing?! _I wanted to yell. _He killed my mother! Why are we all just sitting here? How can you just chat with him like he's a normal person?!_

"Professor Snape was at school with us," Lupin explained to the three youngsters. "He has been telling Dumbledore all year that I am not to be trusted. He has his reasons… you see, Sirius here played a trick on him, which nearly resulted in his death. A trick involving me…"

I looked back up at Snape, whose brow was furrowed with fury.

"It served him right," Black said, and my eyes quickly flew over to him. The sound of his voice made me shiver with fear and rage. If every muscle in my body wasn't frozen stiff, I would have attacked him. Or perhaps I would have ran for my life…

"Severus was very interested in where I went every month," Remus explained. "He saw me crossing the grounds with Madam Pomfrey one evening as she led me towards the Whomping Willow to transform. Sirius thought it would be… erm, amusing, I suppose, to tell Snape how he could get in after me. Of course, he tried it – if he'd gotten as far as this house, he'd have met a fully transformed werewolf – but James went after Snape and pulled him back, at great risk to his own life… He glimpsed me, though, and he was forbidden by Dumbledore to tell anybody, but from then on he knew what I was…"

Once again, my gaze drifted back up to Professor Snape. As much as I disliked him, that would indeed explain a lot. He looked down at me, still looking furious as he mouthed, "_Don't move."_

Before I got a chance to protest, Snape exited the cloak, leaving it draped over my hunched, stiff body. My stomach did another flip; I held onto the cloak tightly, as if to assure that I remained invisible.

"So that's why Snape doesn't like you," Harry concluded. "Because he thought you were in on the joke?"

"That's right," he scoffed, pointing his wand at Professor Lupin. His face glittered with triumph.


	40. Chapter 40

_What the _hell_ is going on?_ I wanted to know more than anything. _Why is he pointing his wand at Remus, when Sirius Black is sitting right there?_ I finally knew how Aria felt when she screamed about how stupid the characters in her manga-romances were. Except this wasn't a manga. This was my life. It took all of my self-control to keep from vomiting or fainting. My legs still refused to move, and for me, that was just fine. For whatever reason, I wasn't ready to be seen just yet.

"I bet you're wondering how I found you, Lupin," Professor Snape was saying. For someone who constantly complained about the arrogance of others, he sounded very haughty. "I was bringing your potion up to your office, and imagine my surprise when I find a certain _map_, lying on your desk, waiting for me to find it. It told me everything I needed to know."

"Severus," Remus started, but Snape was obviously didn't care what he had to say; he pressed his wand firmly into Lupin's side, glaring at him as he continued.

"I've told the headmaster you've been helping your old friend into the castle," he said. "And here's my proof."

My heart went cold, _It can't be! He wouldn't… But they're both here…_

"I can explain!" he said hurriedly. "Sirius isn't-"

"Two more for Azkaban tonight," Snape said, his grin growing wider by the second. "I can't wait to see how Dumbledore takes this; he was quite convinced that you're… _tame_."

"You fool," Remus said, sounding almost sad. "Is a schoolboy grudge worth sending an innocent man back to Azkaban?"

A loud _bang_ pierced the air, and I let out a tiny, wordless cry as tiny cords shot out from the end of Snape's wand. They wrapped themselves around Lupin tightly, binding his mouth, ankles, and wrists. He quickly lost his balance and tumbled over, groaning loudly as he hit the floor.

_No!_ I thought, unable to keep myself from crying anymore. I clamped my hands over my mouth, and once again I had to fight back the urge to vomit. Tears – thick, salty ones - trickled down from my eyes and started forming tiny pools on the floor.

Snape's accusations suddenly seemed even more plausible to me as Black approached him, his face gaunt glittering with rage. However, his bravery wavered as Snape pressed his wand between the convict's eyes.

"Give me a reason," he whispered maliciously. "And I swear, I'll do it."

"Professor Snape," I heard the girl say softly. It was the first time I had heard her speak, and I could tell she was almost as scared as I was. "It w-wouldn't hurt to hear what they have to say…"

"Miss Granger, you are already facing suspension," Snape spat at her. Clearly, she wasn't a student he favored – not that it was any surprise. "The three if you are out-of-bounds, in the company of a convicted murderer and a werewolf. For once in your life, _hold your tongue!_"

"B-but," she gulped. I admired her bravery; even though she was obviously frightened, she was standing up for what she thought was right. All I could do was stand under the Invisibility Cloak and try to keep myself from throwing up. "If there was a mistake-"

"Be quiet, you stupid girl!" Snape yelled at her. "Don't talk about things you don't understand!"

The color drained from her face as she took a step backwards, falling silent. My heart sunk even further. The situation looked as hopeless as I felt. Why wasn't I doing _something?!_

"Vengeance is very sweet," said Snape, returning his attention to Sirius Black. "How I hoped I would be the one to catch you…"

"The joke's on you again, Severus," the criminal said, grinning with his disgusting yellowed teeth. Once again, I had to force the contents of my stomach back. "As long as that boy brings his rat up to the castle with us, I'll come quietly."

I blinked, _What does a rat have to do with anything…_ I looked up at the young Weasley, and noticed that he was, in fact, holding the most revolting rat I had ever seen in my life. It squeaked and tossed about wildly, scratching and biting the boy, but somehow, he kept holding on to the ugly little rodent.

Snape snickered, "I don't think we need to go _that_ far. All I have to do is call the Dementors once we're out of the Willow. I'm sure they'll be happy to see you; they might even give you a kiss…"

"You have to hear me out!" Black said. His voice was cracked and full of fear. "The rat! Look at the rat!"

But Snape wasn't in the mood to listen; and with the way Sirius Black was ranting like a madman, I didn't blame him. "Come along, all of you," he said. He snapped his long, bony fingers, and the ropes that kept Lupin restrained flew into his hands. He looked down at his captive, smirking like a maniac. "I'll drag the werewolf. Perhaps the Dementors will have a kiss for him, as well…"

"No!" I screamed, ignoring my nervous stomach and all of my basic survival instincts as I lunged into the room, leaving the cloak in the hallway. I wasn't thinking clearly anymore; I didn't care that my mother's murderer was standing right there, or that it was very possible that the man I loved was in league with him. The only thing I could think of was Remus, and that he needed my help. I threw my weight at Professor Snape, trying to snatch the ropes away from him. I was bawling like a baby, and felt completely pathetic, but that was better than doing nothing, at least. "You can't!"

"Get off of me!" he snarled, easily pushing me aside. "I told you to wait outside, you worthless idiot!"

He didn't push me very hard, but I was already shaky, and it didn't take much to make me lose my balance completely. I landed on my side, next to Professor Lupin, who was staring at me with wide eyes. What little color his face normally had was completely gone, and his graying hair had once again fallen out of place.

Black laughed, a hallow, empty laugh that hurt my ears to hear, "You brought a _girl_ with you as backup, Severus? You haven't changed a bit, have you?"

I did my best to ignore him – I would deal with Black once I got Remus free – but hearing his voice still made my stomach churn. Trembling, I pulled out my wand, glaring up at Snape with as much fierceness as I could muster. "I won't l-let you hurt him!"

"How touching," Snape said sarcastically. "I brought you here, hoping you would see reason, but you're standing by him even after he's betrayed you."

"We don't know for sure if he _did_," I said, amazing myself at how even my voice was. It was so hard for me to believe that Remus would help the man who murdered my mother. My mind just couldn't wrap itself around such an idea. I didn't want to believe that such a thing could be true. "Maybe, if we just listen-"

"I will _not_ listen to this rubbish," he scoffed. "Get up, Carroll, unless you want to stay here and whimper like an infant; you're very good at that."

"You're pathetic!" Harry Potter screamed. At first, I thought he was addressing me, but when I turned to face the boy, I saw that his angry glare was directed at Professor Snape. "Just because they made a fool of you at school, you won't even listen-"

"Silence!" Snape roared. "I will not be spoken to like that! I just saved your neck; you should be thanking me on bended knee! You're just as arrogant as your father, Potter! Now come _on!_"

My heart pounded wildly as I pointed my wand at Snape. I knew that there was a chance I was making a grave mistake, but I had to know the truth. I wouldn't be able to live with myself otherwise; even if there was a possibility that Sirius Black would escape – or worse, kill us all. I had to know.

"E-expelliarmus!" I stuttered. The whole room shook, and Snape flew through the air, crashing into the wall behind him. His limp body landed in an unconscious pile on the dusty floor. At first, I marveled at my own strength, but then I noticed that Harry and his companions also had their wands out.

_We must have all cast the spell at once,_ I realized, my spirits falling a bit.

"We attacked a teacher…" the bushy-haired girl said, staring at Snape in utter disbelief. "We're going to be in so much trouble…"

"You shouldn't have done that," Black said. "You should have left him to me."

"W-why?" I stuttered, going for dry and angry, but ending up with my usual: weak and shaky. "So you could m-murder him too?"

I heard Remus grunt loudly, unable to speak with those nasty ropes wrapped around his mouth. My heart leapt up as I crawled over aid him. As I reached for the first knot, a dirty, tattooed hand brushed over mine; Sirius Black was kneeling down next to me, ready to help his friend.

"I can do it," I snarled, swatting his hand away roughly.

"Alright!" he snapped back, recoiling like a puppy that had just been kicked. "Who the hell are you, anyway?"

My stomach rolled over, letting out a tiny growl as I fumbled with Lupin's bonds. My shaking hands made the process even more difficult.

"My n-name is Violet Carroll," I stammered, looking up at Black darkly once Lupin's mouth was free. "You killed my mother."

Remus sucked in a deep breath, which consisted of more dust than air. He coughed loudly, and I tried to hurry with the rest of the knots.

"What do you mean?" Black asked curiously. I felt his sunken eyes watching me as I struggled with the ropes around Lupin's wrist.

"Her mother was one of the muggles who died in the explosion," Professor Lupin explained for me. I was grateful; I doubt I would have been able to do it. At last, his hands were free. He sat up, groaning as he pulled himself into a position where he could untie his ankles on his own. "Thank you, Violet. And thank you," he nodded towards the other students.

"Are you alright?" I asked softly, pushing his hair back into place.

He nodded, giving me a tiny smile once his ankles were free, "I'm fine."

"I'm not saying I believe you," said Harry.

"Then it's time we offered you some proof," Lupin said, pushing himself to his feet. He didn't bother to dust himself off. Instead, he held out his hand to the redheaded boy, "Ron, please, give me Peter."

"P-peter?" I stammered. "As in…"

"Peter Pettigrew," Remus finished for me. "Yes. I know it sounds completely insane, but it's true. He showed up on the Marauder's Map tonight; that's why I left my office in such a rush and accidentally left the map open. That rat is Peter."

"Come off it!" Percy's brother – Ron – said. "Okay, say Pettigrew could turn into a rat. There are millions of rats! How's _he_ supposed to know which one he's after if he's been locked up for all these years?"

"You know, Sirius, that is a fair question," Remus said, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "How _did_ you find out where he was?"

Without a word, Black reached into his ragged, striped shirt and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. He unfolded it, and held it out for the rest of us to see. It was a photograph; one I had seen before, in the newspaper. It had been taken months ago, when the Weasleys had gone on their trip to Egypt. Sure enough, that nasty rat was there with them, perched on Ron's shoulder.

"My God…" Remus said softly. "His front paw…"

"What about it?" Ron asked, clutching the rat tightly. Clearly, the horrid little creature was a beloved family pet.

"He's missing a toe," said Black.

"Of course!" Lupin gasped, the look on his face suggesting that all the pieces were finally falling together in his brain. "So simple, but so _brilliant_… he cut it off himself?"

Black nodded eagerly, "Just before he transformed! When I finally cornered him, he yelled for the whole street to hear that I'd betrayed Lily and James. Then he blew apart the street with the wand behind his back, killed everyone within twenty feet, and sped down into the sewer with the other rats!"

"This is completely insane," I said, taking a few steps back from the group, hoping that the insanity wasn't contagious. "Remus… Professor Lupin… You can't tell me you actually believe all this?"

"Didn't you hear? The biggest bit of Peter they found was his finger," Lupin said, his eyes bright with enthusiasm. He put his hands on my shoulders, looking at me sincerely. "Sirius is telling the truth, Violet. Peter is the one responsible for your mother's death."

My throat closed tightly. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The story was so out there, it belonged in a Lewis Carroll novel. And yet…

"Even if that is true," Harry said furiously. "He only did that to escape, because he knew you were about to kill him, like you killed my parents! And now you've come to finish him off!"

"Yes," he admitted, though he didn't exactly sound happy about it. "I have."

"Then we should have let Snape have you!" Harry snarled.

"Y-yeah," I agreed. "Even if Peter _did_ cause that explosion, you drove him to it! If it weren't for you, our parents would still be alive!"

"No, you've both got it wrong," Remus said frantically. His hair had fallen down into his face again, in a way that made him look just as mad as Sirius Black. Perhaps lunacy _was_ catching. "All this time we've thought Sirius betrayed your parents, and Peter tracked him down, and then Sirius caused the explosion that killed Violet's mother. But it was the other way around: Sirius tracked Peter down, Peter was the one who betrayed your mother and father, Harry-"

"That isn't true!" Harry shouted, pointing his finger at Black. "He was their Secret-Keeper! He said so before you turned up. He said he killed them!"

"Harry…" Black croaked, looking at his bare, dirty feet with shame. "I as good as killed them. I persuaded them to use Peter as Secret-Keeper instead of me. It's all my fault… The night they died, I arranged to check on Peter, but when I arrived, he had fled. There was no sign of a struggle. It didn't feel right. I set out for your parents' house, and when I arrived, it was destroyed, and their bodies…" He gulped; recounting the memory must have caused him grave sorrow. "I realized what must have happened. What I had done…"

Not only were my hands shaking, but now my legs were beginning to quiver as well. If all of this was true, if Sirius Black was innocent…

"This has gone on long enough," Remus said finally, using that tone he saved for the rare occasion when he was truly frustrated or angry. I had only heard it once before; when I was telling him about what happened between me and Markus Gordon. "Ron, give me that rat."

"What are you going to do with him if I hand him over?" he asked, eyeing Lupin wearily.

"Force him to show himself," said Lupin. "If he really is a rat, it won't hurt him."

Reluctantly, Ron handed over his beloved rat. It was squeaking and squalling, and its huge eyes were popping out if it's head. If it were even possible, he looked closer to death than Sirius, who was picking up Snape's wand.

"Violet," Remus said, holding the rat out to me. "Could you hold onto him for us, please? It'll take both of us to do this correctly."

"S-sure," I said, grabbing the squirming rat by his tail. I held him out as far as I could. My hands were trembling so violently, it looked as if I were shaking the rat about on purpose.

Professor Lupin cleared his throat, "One, two-"

"This isn't going to work!" Black hissed, snatching the rat from me. "What's wrong with you?!"

"I'm sorry!" I said defensively. "I have shaky hands! I can't help it; being around a convicted mass murderer makes me nervous!"

"Severus was right about one thing," he said, rolling his eyes. "You're worthless!" He held out the rat himself, holding onto it so tightly that I was surprised that the tiny animal didn't snap in half. "Now, Remus! One, two,-"

Remus gave me an apologetic glance before he turned his attention back to the rat, finishing the countdown, "Three!"

There was a bright flash of blue light, and for a moment, the rat floated in the air, frantically flailing and flipping around– the way I imagined my stomach was flipping – before he hit the ground. Ron was screaming, but the rest of us watched in silence as the rodent grew, almost unbelievably fast.

Before I knew it, the creature in front of us looked more human than rat-like, though he did retain some of rattish features. The man before us now was very short – about my height – with thinning hair and a rather large bald patch. He took quick, tiny breaths as he looked around the room, completely mortified.

"Hello, Peter," Remus said pleasantly. "Long time, no see."

"S-sirius…" he squeaked. "Remus… My old friends…"


	41. Chapter 41

For a brief moment, my heart stopped. This was just too unreal… What substance was left in my legs seemed to vanish, and I collapsed to the floor, catching myself with my hands and knees. I couldn't control myself anymore; the contents of my stomach finally made their way out. I gagged and coughed, spitting out a disgusting mixture of Butterbeer, candy, and bile. The smell was horrid, and I held my arms around my waist in an attempt to stop myself from retching again.

I felt a kind, gentle hand rubbing my back, and I jumped. At first, I assumed it would be Aria, but when I looked, I saw it was the younger girl, whose name I still didn't know. She offered me a weak, sympathetic smile, and I felt a little better.

"Are you alright?" Remus whispered, kneeling down next to me. He tucked some of my messy hair back behind my ears.

I nodded, afraid that if I opened my mouth to speak, vomit would come out instead of words.

"We've been having a little chat, Peter," Remus said, looking up not at Peter, but at Black, who was shaking almost as much as I was. His shaking, however, was caused not by fear, but wrath. I could see homicidal fury glittering in his eyes. "About the night Lily and James died. Perhaps you caught parts of the conversation while you were squealing around-"

"Remus," he gasped. Like Lupin, his eyes were fixed on Black. "You don't believe him, do you? He tried to _kill_ me, Remus! And now he's going to try to do it again! You have to help me!"

"No one's going to try to kill you," Lupin assured him, sounding like his normal, sensible self. "Until we've sorted a few things out."

"I knew he would come after me!" Peter Pettigrew said frantically. "I've been waiting for this for twelve years!"

"You knew Sirius was going to break out of Azkaban?" Lupin questioned. "Even though nobody has ever done so before?"

"It isn't _me_ you've been hiding from!" said Sirius. "You've been hiding from Voldemort's old supporters. From what I heard in Azkaban, it seems like they think you double-crossed _them_; sending the Dark Lord to the Potters, where he ultimately met his downfall. And not all of his supporters ended up in Azkaban, did they? If any of them ever got wind that you're still alive-"

"That's madness!" Pettigrew said, trying – and failing – to sound calm and composed. For once, I felt like I wasn't the most pathetic person in the entire room. "You can't honestly tell me you believe all of this, Remus."

He sighed, "I must admit, I have a difficult time understanding why – if you are indeed innocent – you would want to spend twelve years as a rat."

"I was scared!" he sobbed. So much for trying to keep himself composed. "Voldemort's supporters _are _ after me – but because I put away one of their best men; the spy, Sirius Black!"

"How _dare_ you?" Black snarled. "How dare you accuse me of being a spy?! _You _were his spy all along! James and Lily only made you their Secret-Keeper because I suggested it. It seemed like such a perfect plan at the time; Voldemort would never suspect they'd use a weakling like you… It must have been the best moment of your life, telling your master you could hand him the Potters!"

That was all the little man could take. Black's words reduced him to tears; it was impossible to make out a word he was saying.

_It's all true,_ I thought. _I can't believe it… No, this isn't possible… _

"Um…" the girl next to me timidly lifted her hand, as if we were in a classroom, and she needed permission to speak. "May I say something, Professor?"

"Of course, Hermione," Remus said, leaning around me to look her in the eye. "By all means."

"Well…" she gulped – it really was nice to know I wasn't the only one who was completely frightened – "I mean… this man has been living in Harry's dormitory for three years. If he's working for You-Know-Who, how come he hasn't tried to kill Harry?"

"There!" Peter said, jumping for joy as he pointed at the girl – Hermione. "You see, Remus? If I was working for Voldemort, why haven't I killed Harry?"

"Because no one would be stupid enough to commit murder under Albus Dumbledore's nose!" Black snarled. "Not even you! And besides, Voldemort has been in hiding for years; they say he's half dead. You wouldn't risk your neck for him – or anyone – unless you were sure they'd be around to protect you afterwards!"

"Um… excuse me," I whispered, something finally occurring to me; a hole in this entire story. "I have a question… How did you get out of Azkaban, if you didn't use dark magic?"

"I… I don't really know," Sirius admitted.

I rolled my eyes, "Great-"

"Let me finish!" he growled, causing my stomach to turn again. His voice went soft as he continued telling us his story. "I think the only thing that kept me from losing my mind was knowing that I was innocent. That wasn't a happy thought, exactly, so the Dementors couldn't suck it out of me. When it got to be too much, I would transform in my cell-"

"T-transform…" I interrupted. "So… you're an Animagus as well?"

He nodded, "As an animal, your thoughts are less complex. But since Dementors can't see, they assumed that I was just losing my mind like everyone else. But I was weak; there's no way to truly fend them off without a wand…" he paused for a moment, his eyes lighting up. "But then, one day, I saw that newspaper article, and I realized that Peter was at Hogwarts with Harry… I knew I had to do something…. So one night, when they opened my door to feed me, I slipped past them as a dog. I was able to swim to the mainland, and eventually, I found my way here."

I looked up at Harry, wondering what was running through his mind. I felt sorry for him; at least I knew my mother. Poor Harry had lost _both_ of his parents, before he got to know them at all.

"Believe me," Black begged. "I never betrayed Lily and James. I would have died before I betrayed them."

At last, Harry nodded, "I believe you."

For some reason, hearing Harry Potter say it was what finally made up my mind. Hearing him say those three words made everything click together just right. If he could believe it – if Harry could believe that the man whom he thought handed his parents over to Voldemort was innocent – then it must be true.

"No!" Pettigrew cried, falling to his knees in a state of emotional agony. He curled up in front of Black, groveling. "Sirius, it's me! Your old friend… Surely you wouldn't-"

"Get off," the other man said, kicking the real traitor roughly with his bare foot. "There's enough filth on my robes without you touching them."

When this didn't work, he turned his efforts towards Lupin. "Remus, you don't believe this… Wouldn't Sirius have told you if they'd changed the plan?"

"Not if he thought_ I_ was the spy," he said, somehow able to keep his cool after everything that had happened. "I assume that's why you didn't tell me, Sirius?"

He nodded gravely, "Forgive me, Moony."

"Not at all, Padfoot, old friend," Lupin said, finally rising to his feet. He gave me a brief glance before he began rolling up his sleeves. "And will you, in turn, forgive me for believing that _you_ were the spy?"

"Of course," Black said, rolling up his own sleeves, which hung off of his skinny arms loosely. "Shall we kill him together?"

He nodded, "Yes, I think so."

"H-how can you talk so calmly about it?" I whimpered. My gaze remained on the dirty floor; talk of killing made my heart hurt, especially when Remus – who had shown me nothing but kindness – was the one discussing it. Was he really capable of such a brutal act?

Remus sighed, rubbing his temple, "Violet, after all he's done-"

"But still…" I gulped; my throat was so tight that I had to squeeze my thoughts into words. "It's murder…"

"She's right!" Pettigrew said, pointing at me. "The girl is absolutely right, Remus! Would you be able to live with yourself, knowing you killed your friend?"

"You are no friend of mine," said Lupin. "And I think I'd have a harder time living with myself if I _didn't_ kill you."

I watched the last bit of color leave Pettigrew's face, as if reality was _finally_ setting in. Desperately, he crawled over to Ron, "You! Haven't I been a good friend? You're on my side, right?"

Judging by the look on the boy's face, Ron was far from taking Pettigrew's side. He looked at his former pet with an expression of loathing, "I let you sleep in my _bed!_"

"Kind master…" Peter whimpered. "I was a good rat, wasn't I? A good pet…"

"If you made a better rat than a human, there isn't much to boast about, Peter," Black said harshly.

"Girls!" he exclaimed, scampering over to the two of us. His eyes were flooding over with tears of desperation. "Sweet, beautiful girls… You won't let them harm me, w-will you?"

Hermione yelped, scooting away, leaving a trail on the dusty floor. She looked totally mortified, as if she was as physically sickened as I was. If that was the case, she did a much better job of controlling it than I did.

"P-please!" he begged me. Pettigrew grabbed onto my legs, looking deep into my eyes. My heart pounded, begging to be free from my ribcage. "You said so yourself, it's murder-"

"Get away from her!" Remus scowled, grabbing Pettigrew by the collar. He was able to pull the sniveling man off of me quite easily.

_He really does only care about himself,_ I realized, looking at the wretched man with distaste. _He feels no remorse at all._ "If Remus is alright with it, then I don't care. You deserve to die."

"H-harry," he stammered, looking at the young man – his last hope. "You look just like your father… Just like James…"

"How dare you speak to Harry?" Black screamed. "How dare you talk about James in front of him?!"

"James wouldn't have wanted me killed," Pettigrew continued. "Harry, he would have shown me mercy-"

In one smooth motion – as if they were two bodies operating with the same mind – Lupin and Black stepped forward, grabbing Pettigrew by the shoulders and pushing him backwards onto the floor. A huge puff of dust flew through the air when he landed. I covered my face, but it still flew up my nose and into my mouth. I coughed wildly.

"You should have known," Remus said, pushing his disheveled hair out of his face. "If Voldemort didn't kill you, we would."

"No!" Harry screamed. I couldn't believe what I was seeing; Harry ran forward, placing himself between Pettigrew and his attackers. "You can't kill him," he said, sounding drained and breathless.

Black sighed impatiently, "Harry, this man is the reason-"

"I know that…" said Harry. "We'll take him to the castle. We can hand him over to the Dementors. He can go to Azkaban… But don't kill him."

"Thank you!" Pettigrew gasped, throwing his arms around Harry's legs.

"I'm not doing this for you," Harry said, kicking the dirty little man away. "I'm doing it because… I don't think my dad would have wanted them to become killers… for someone like _you._"

"It's your choice," Black said, but the look on his face suggested that he wasn't too happy about it.

"He can go to Azkaban," Harry repeated. "Is that alright with you?" he asked, looking down at me.

"Y-yeah," I stammered, without really thinking. I was flattered that Harry was putting my feelings into consideration. Truthfully, I wanted my mother's killer put to death, but I didn't want to witness it. I wasn't sure if my poor stomach could take such a thing. "If anyone deserves that place, it's him…"

"Very well," Remus sighed, looking almost as disappointed as Sirius. "Harry, stand aside; I'll have to tie him up."

Harry hesitated for a moment, then stepped out of the way. Lupin flicked his wand, and in seconds, Pettigrew was bound and gagged, reduced to a wiggling mass on the floor.

"But if you transform, Peter," Lupin said calmly, looking down at the pathetic excuse for a man, as if he were scolding one of his students for acting out in class. "We _will_ kill you. Is that fair; Harry, Violet?"

"Y-yes," I said. "That's fair."

Harry nodded wordlessly, not taking his eyes off of Pettigrew. He looked dazed; I imagine he too was having trouble wrapping his mind around what had happened. When you spend your whole life believing in something, having that belief shattered takes a lot out of you. Despite being several years his senior, I'm sure my mind was just as exhausted as his.

"Now, Ron," Lupin said. "I can't mend bones nearly as well as Madam Pomfrey, so I think it's best if we just strap up your leg until we can get you to the hospital wing."

"I can do it," I offered. I felt like I hadn't been much help, and I wanted to at least do one constructive thing before we departed – if for no other reason, to show Sirius Black that I wasn't completely useless. I stood up, nearly stumbling as I made my way over to the bed. The sight of Ron's disfigured leg made me wince, but I did my best to put on a straight face as cleared my throat, "Ferula."

The spell worked a lot like the one Remus had used to tie up Pettigrew, but instead of binding Ron's entire body with ropes, his leg was wrapped tightly with white bandages.

"Thanks," he said, pulling himself onto his feet. "That's much better."

"You're welcome," I said, smiling as I slipped my wand back through my belt-loop.

"What about Professor Snape?" Hermione asked quietly.

I groaned, _Can't we just… leave him here?_

Lupin chuckled, "He's still out cold, isn't he? Hmm… Perhaps it's best if we don't revive him until we're back at the castle. We can take him like this…"

Sirius cleared his throat, pointing Snape's own wand at his lopsided body. Like some sort of grotesque marionette, Professor Snape rose off of the floor, his limp arms and legs dangling lifelessly, as if they were hanging from invisible strings. The sight made me shiver.

"Oh, and this…" I said, suddenly remembering the Invisibility Cloak out in the hallway. I snatched up the dust covered garment, shaking it off a little before I folded it up.

"And I think two of us should be chained to this," Black said, giving Pettigrew a rough poke in the face with his dirty toe. "Just in case he tries to run."

"I'll do it," Remus offered.

I opened my mouth to volunteer myself, but Percy's brother beat me to the punch.

"And me," he said, limping forward. "He was my rat…"

With a wordless spell, Black conjured heavy, black chains – quite impressively – out of thin air. Soon, Pettigrew was on his feet, with his arms shackled to Lupin's and Ron's; one on each side.

I was startled when I saw a huge ball of orange fur step out in front of us, and I watched as a very large cat started off down the hallway, as if it wanted to lead us out safely.

_I know I've seen that cat before…_ I thought, following it out of the room, holding onto my wand like my life depended on it. _Where have I seen that cat before?_


	42. Chapter 42

Making our way down the stairs proved to be quite difficult. The cat waited for us at the bottom, looking up at our spectacle with a frustrated, squashed face. Pettigrew couldn't support himself very well with his ankles tied together, so it was up to Ron and Lupin to carry him down the rickety staircase. However, the staircase was too narrow for them to walk down as a unit, and they had to take the stairs one by one, long-ways. Eventually, we worked out a solution: I went first, with Remus leaning on me for added support, and Harry and Hermione assisted Ron at the other end of the awkward-train. Sirius and Snape followed after us.

"How are you holding up?" Remus whispered as we slowly descended.

"Fine, all things considered," I said, gripping to the rail firmly with my shaky hand. "I… I'm not sure if it's all settled in, ya know?"

"This must have been quite the night for you," he said sympathetically. "I'm sorry that Severus drug you out here. You didn't need to see all this."

I shook my head, "I'm glad he did… Now, I know the truth."

"I was terrified when I first saw you," he confessed. "I was afraid that you would assume I had been helping Sirius out all along, or worse; you'd end up getting hurt."

"I just… wish I could have been more helpful," I sighed as I finally reached the bottom step.

"You did just fine, Violet," he said, wrapping his free arm around me. I'm sure the gesture looked platonic enough from the outside, but I was still surprised at the public display of affection.

"Yeah," Ron agreed. "My leg feels loads better."

"You shouldn't sell yourself short," Lupin said, giving me a brief squeeze before he and Ron struggled to dismount the staircase while carrying Pettigrew's extra weight. The short, pudgy prisoner grumbled the entire time – his words completely incoherent due to the gag wrapped around his mouth – but no one paid him any mind as we exited the Shrieking Shack and made our way down the tunnel towards the Willow. The tunnel was so narrow that I had to give up walking up front next to Remus, due to lack of space. Instead, I walked ahead of the group, led only by the large, orange cat.

_Nothing's going to be the same now,_ I realized, looking over my shoulder. It felt strange, looking at the man I had thought was my mother's murderer for most of my life, knowing that all my hatred had been extremely misguided. I felt like I should apologize, but for what? I hadn't done anything to him _personally;_ in fact we were barely acquaintances. Even though I had hated him for has long as I could remember, he had no idea that I even existed. Yet somehow, I felt responsible…

_No,_ I told myself, glancing at Pettigrew. Somehow, looking at him didn't cause my stomach to churn half as much as it did when I looked at Sirius Black. He just didn't have that threatening air about him, especially when he was all tied up. _He's the one to blame. For everything._

As we neared the end of the tunnel, my thoughts shifted to a happier change that was beginning to take place. I poked my head outside, finding that the cat had climbed up the tree, and was pressing the secret knot with his paw.

_What a smart animal,_ I thought, crawling out into the world, which was now dark except for the stars and the moon – which was hidden by thick, gray clouds. _I _know_ I've seen it somewhere before…_

"Here," I said, attempting to help Professor Lupin out of the tunnel. I got the feeling that I was getting in the way more than anything, but he didn't say anything. I could tell by the look on his face that all the walking was starting to get to him, but he didn't say anything about that, either.

_Pretty soon, we won't have to hide our feelings anymore,_ I thought, unable to keep myself from smiling, despite the grim evening I'd just had. _We can hug and kiss and hold hands…_

After the Ron, Pettigrew, and Lupin were safely outside, I rested against the tree, catching my breath while the others crawled out. Hermione, Harry, and Black had no trouble, but Snape – who was still floating under Black's control – hit his already bruised head several times.

"Um…" I gulped. "Shouldn't you be… a little more careful with him?"

Sirius looked at me curiously, "Why?"

I blinked, trying to think of a good response. After a few moments, I sighed, "Never mind. Forget I mentioned it."

He laughed, giving me a rough pat on the shoulder as he walked past me, guiding Professor Snape with his own wand. I stumbled forward, and then continued walking, hoping that no one noticed my clumsy moment. I jogged to catch up with Remus, and I had to make a conscious effort to keep myself from grabbing onto his hand.

"What about you?" I asked. "How are _you_ holding up?"

He sighed, "I still can't believe this is actually happening, myself. In my wildest dreams, I never would have…" He stopped suddenly, - stopped talking _and_ walking – and stared at something behind me, as if he just spotted the most interesting thing in the entire world.

"Remus, what…" I started, peeking over my shoulder. What I saw made my stomach do another flip - thank goodness its contents had already been dumped – and I stared at what I saw with wide eyes.

The moon was full.

Professor Snape had mentioned that Remus hadn't taken his potion.

_Oh shit,_ I thought. _Shit! Shit!_

"P-p-professor!" Hermione stammered. Her expression was one of sheer terror.

"Did he take his potion tonight?" Sirius asked frantically.

"N-no," I said. My mind was yelling at me to back away, but my body was frozen. "He isn't safe!"

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, Lupin's transformation began. His body began expanding, growing taller and broader by the second. His already battered suit was ripped to shreds, and he was easily able to break free from the chains that connected him to Pettigrew once he had completed his transformation.

"Run!" I heard Black scream. I could see the panicked look on his shrunken face clearly in my mind, even though I couldn't actually _see_ him.

But I couldn't run. Every muscle in my body was frozen. I couldn't even open my mouth to scream. Even when the gigantic werewolf turned and snarled at me, ready to pounce at any second, I couldn't make myself run away.

I'm not really sure what happened next. I'm pretty sure I fainted, because the last thing I remember about that night was a large, black blur crossing over my line of vision. To me, it seemed like all I had to do was blink, and suddenly I was in the Hospital wing.

"She's awake!" I heard Luna say. "Mr. Flanders, Miss Aria, Miss Zimmer! She's waking up!"

"Oh Vi-Vi!" Ashley shrieked, jumping up from her seat to throw her arms around me. "At last, you're awake!"

"We've been so worried," Aria said, composed as always – well, almost always – as she stroked my hair fondly.

I knew something wasn't right. I could tell by the way my hands were shaking.

"You poor, poor thing," Jeff said, not moving from his spot at the foot of my bed. He was painting my toenails – that obnoxious shade of orange I refused let him use a few weeks ago, when I was conscious. He didn't use his usual, joyful tone. He sounded deeply distressed.

"W-what happened?" I asked, trying to sit up. My head throbbed when I moved, and spots danced in front of my eyes as I retreated back to my pillow. "Jeez…"

"You were attacked by Sirius Black!" Aria said, as if I had just asked what color the sky was. "You're lucky to be alive. If that Potter boy and his friends hadn't been there…" she paused, overcome by her tears. "I don't even want to think about it!"

_No, that can't be it,_ I thought, closing my eyes. _Unless last night was just a dream… No, it wasn't a dream. Sirius Black is innocent. Peter Pettigrew killed my mother…_ Just thinking about it made me shiver.

"Aww, don't cry," Luna said, handing Aria a tissue. "Miss Violet is alright now."

I tried sitting up again, and this time I felt only a slight pang on the side of my head. "What about Re-" I glanced over at Luna, glad that I caught myself even in my current condition. "Professor Lupin? Is he alright?"

The four of them exchanged an anxious, worried glance.

"Well…" Jeff said hesitantly. "We really didn't want to tell you until you were feeling better…"

"T-tell me what?" I asked.

"It really isn't that important…" Ashley said, but I could tell by the way she was twiddling her thumbs that she wasn't telling the truth.

"Yes, it is!" Luna pouted, validating my suspicions and crossing her arms. "It's a huge deal!"

"Luna!" Aria hissed, shooting the younger girl a glare before she returned her attention to me, her eyes softening instantly. "Violet, please, it isn't important for right this _second_-"

"Just tell me!" I demanded, filling my strength begin to return. I was surprised at the fire in my voice – where was it when I really needed it?

"I…" Ashley gulped. "I think you should tell her, Ari. You're more… gentle with these things…"

"Alright," Aria said, taking a deep breath. "Professor Lupin… He's a werewolf."

I could feel every ounce of color leaving my face, _How did they find out?_ My heart went cold as I remembered the fine details of what had happened the night before. Well, everything that happened up until the moment I fainted.

"I never would have guessed," Ashley said, sounding as helpless as I felt. "He seemed so… nice. And I always got the feeling that he was treating you right."

"I can't believe we let such a dangerous man near our only child," Jeff said, and at last I understood why he – the eternally optimist – was suddenly so melancholy. In some weird, twisted way, he felt responsible. "We've failed as parents."

"Don't say that, Mr. Flanders," Luna said, placing her tiny hand on his narrow shoulder. "There's no way you could have known about-"

"How did you find out?" I asked, completely stunned.

"It's all around the school," Aria said. Her flair for gossip never ceased to amaze me, even at times like this. "Georgia Harris told Nicky Valentine, who I overheard telling Margret that Professor Snape told Georgia that Professor Lupin is a werewolf."

_I hate him,_ I thought, balling my hands into fists. I bit down on my lower lip, keeping my sob wedged in my throat._ I hate him so much. How can he be so cruel? _

"Then just after that, we heard that he's resigning," Luna added. She was the only one in the room who was smiling. She was always smiling, and though that normally brightened my mood, seeing her grinning while my heart was breaking made me want to slap that grin right off of her pretty little face.

"Resigning…" I said, allowing a tiny whimper to escape along with the word.

"Oh Vi-Vi, we're so sorry!" Ashley said, bursting into tears herself. "I knew there was something funny about him. I should have said something! And now look what's happened!"

"Where is he?" I demanded.

"Vi-Vi…" Jeff said, looking at me seriously, like a true mother. "I forbid you to-"

"Shut up!" I snarled at him, my eyes flooding over with tears. They stung my cheeks on their way down. "What happened to Professor Lupin? Is he alright? Please, tell me!"

"I guess he's still in his office," Luna said, redeeming herself in my eyes and earning herself dirty looks from Aria, Ashley, and Jeff. "I don't think he's left just yet."

"I have to go see him," I said, bounding out of the hospital bed.

"No," Aria said, grabbing onto my arm. "Vi, we won't let you-"

"Let go!" I screamed, yanking my limb out of her grasp. "I'll do whatever I want!"

"Violet, be reasonable," Jeff begged. "Your toes are still wet…"

"I don't care about my bloody toes!" I hollered, bursting out of the hospital wing. The students in the hallway looked at me as if I was completely mental, but I didn't care. I had to find Professor Lupin before it was too late.


	43. Chapter 43

_I can't believe this is happening. I really hope the things Aria and Luna said are just nasty rumors,_ I thought as I ran down the hallway. I'm sure I looked very strange in my plain, white, hospital-pajamas, but I hardly noticed the inquisitive stares I was receiving. The cobbled floors were cutting my feet as I ran, but I hardly noticed that, either. I felt like the world was falling down around me; scratches on my feet were a small price to pay for a chance to fix it.

_And what happened to Peter Pettigrew?_ I wondered as I rounded the corner. _Or Sirius Black…_

By the time I reached Professor Lupin's office, my hands were shaking so violently that it took a lot of fumbling to get the door open. A quick glance around the room told me that what my friends had told me was, in fact, true. A large, old trunk – which had defiantly seen better days - sat in front of the desk, stuffed with what used to be the contents of the office. Several other suitcases, all equally tattered, were scattered about as well. The phonograph was playing in the corner; the sound of a lonely trumpet poured out across the messy room and into my ears.

My heart plummeted. _It's true… He's leaving…_

Professor Lupin and I both jumped when he entered the room, carrying an armful of books, all of which landed roughly on the floor. My anti-book-abuse reflexes kicked in automatically, and I knelt down to help pick up the mess.

"It's alright," he said, a bit roughly as he crouched down next to me. "I've got it."

"No, I don't mind," I said, gently straightening an older, fragile paperback. The sharpness in his voice made me wince.

"I've got it," he repeated, snatching up the small pile I had started, bending their flimsy covers as he pushed past me to dump them into the huge trunk.

I swallowed, pushing myself up with my trembling hands. As eager as I was to find him, I had no idea what I was going to say. What could I say? At last, I decided on, "I… I heard that you're resigning…"

"I gave Dumbledore my official statement this morning," he said sadly, turning to face me. It was the first good look I'd gotten at his face, and seeing it brought back a brief flash of fear that must have been left over from the night before. Lupin had several fresh cuts on his face, and a set of fresh bite marks on his neck.

"Remus…" I gasped.

"I've looked worse," he said, with a grim – almost morbid – look on his face. "I assume you've come to change my mind?"

"Of course!" I said. "You can't quit! You love this job; you're a wonderful teacher! And besides, no one's forcing you to leave."

Remus sighed, "I'm sure the owls have already started arriving."

I blinked, "Owls? What owls?"

"Owls carrying letters from parents," he said. He looked down at his shoes, like a child who had been caught doing something naughty. "They aren't going to want a… Someone like me teaching their children."

"Who cares about what they think?" I said. "Dumbledore-"

"Has already risked enough on my account," Remus finished for me. "It's time I left that poor man alone…" he looked back up at me, his hair dangling in front of his eyes. "It's time I left _everyone_ alone."

I inhaled sharply, "Remus, no-"

"I can't… _pretend_ anymore, Violet," he said, reverting his gaze yet again. "Not after last night."

"Pretend what?" I asked, my voice teetering on the edge of hysteria.

"Pretend like I'm not putting you in danger," he said. "I'm your teacher. I should never have let things go this far."

"You haven't been putting me in danger!" I argued. "And I wanted things to go this far, too! You can't take all the blame for that!"

"Haven't been putting you in danger?!" he screamed furiously, and I wondered in the back of my mind if there was an echo in the room as he grabbed onto my wrist, jerking it up so I could see it. Much to my surprise, it was wrapped in ugly, flesh-colored bandages. "Just look at yourself, Violet! Is this what you wanted?!"

I slowly turned towards the mirror, - which I assumed had been moved from the back room, since it hadn't always been there - almost afraid of what I would see. If I hadn't noticed my wrist, what other details had I failed to observe? I looked at my reflection, amazed at what I saw. A white strip of bandage was wrapped around my head, knitted through my hair. My face was also covered in little cuts and scrapes; Lupin and I looked like a perfect pair, in that respect.

_We won't be a pair for much longer,_ I realized. _If you don't do something!_

"And it could have been worse," he said, looking at my reflection as well. "If Sirius hadn't-"

"Come live with me," I interrupted, looking up at him desperately. The words were out of my mouth before I even realized I had spoken. Hysteria was making me reckless. I wasn't thinking clearly.

"Come live with…" he muttered, staring at me dumbly, as if he too couldn't believe what I was saying. After a few seconds of processing, he rubbed his temple. "You didn't hear a word I said, did you? I'm too dangerous to be around-"

"I can make the Wolfsbane potion for you," I said quickly, afraid that he would interrupt before I finished explaining my brilliant plan. "And there's a secret room in the library - no one else knows about it except for me – you can hide there during your transformations-"

"Your parents aren't going to want a werewolf living in their house!" he snapped. "Especially if they knew what he's been doing to their daughter!"

"It doesn't matter who they want living there," I said. A sly grin crept across my face, "It isn't their house."

Lupin sighed, pushing his hair out of his eyes, "Well, I'm sure whoever's house-"

"It's mine," I said proudly. "My mother left it to me in her will. Once I graduate next week, the house legally becomes mine."

In my head, it seemed like a very compelling argument. I was stunned – and completely heartbroken – when he shook his head.

"Please, come live with me," I said, caressing his face. He still wouldn't make eye contact with me. "I'll make your potion, and we won't have to hide our relationship from anyone… And we can make love whenever we want…"

"There's more to life than sex, Violet," he said with a heavy sigh. "And as lovely as that sounds, it will never work."

"It _will_ work!" I shouted, stepping forward. I grabbed onto the front of his shirt and pulled myself up onto the tips of my toes so I could plant a firm kiss on his lips. He didn't fight me off, but he didn't kiss back, either. Normally, his tongue was very… enthusiastic. Now, it wouldn't respond at all. Even his mustache wasn't tickling me the way it was supposed to.

I couldn't take too much of that. I slowly pulled out of the passionless kiss, hoping until the very end that Remus would suddenly change his mind, pull my tongue back into his mouth, and hold me tightly in his arms. When that didn't happen, I literally felt my heart crack.

"Remus…" I whimpered. When I began to cry, my tears stung the cuts on my cheek. They had done so earlier, in the hospital wing, though at the time I didn't know the reason for the burning sensation.

"I'm sorry," he said, staring down at me, looking very tired. His face was pale – the color it was when he was sick each month – and he had heavy bags under his eyes. Like this, he appeared even older than normal, and the absence of the usual, mischievous glitter in his eyes made him seem older still. "Perhaps we… moved too fast…"

That was it. The wedge that had been driven into my heart had finally succeeded in breaking it in two. A huge lump started forming in my throat, and when I tried to swallow it, it only grew.

"N-no…" I protested weakly. _Why do I have to sound so pathetic…_

"I'm sorry, Violet," Lupin said again, though he didn't sound very sincere. If anything, he sounded like a robot; completely emotionless. "I'll always remember you fondly."

"And what am I supposed to do?" I sobbed, shoving him away; though I ended up moving further than he did. "I love you…"

"Goodbye, Violet," he said, at last sounding a _little_ somber. "I wish you the best."

_I hate you! _My inner voice screamed, sounding as hysterical as I felt._ How can you do this to me?!_ My angry side – the last bit of old-Violet that insisted on sticking around – bubbled to the surface momentarily, and suddenly I was too proud to let Lupin watch me leaving his office for the last time in tears. I held my head high as I marched out, giving the trunk by the door a swift kick, hoping to knock it over; old-Violet was very vengeful.

She was forced back into hiding by embarrassment, however, when she realized – a few moments too late – that I wasn't wearing shoes. The trunk hardly budged, and I cursed loudly when my orange-painted toes collided with the heavy object. I cursed loudly, stumbling out of the room.

_I'm such an idiot,_ I thought, unable to keep myself from crying anymore. _I've been so foolish…_

Once I reached the dormitories, I immediately locked myself in the girl's bathroom, where I cried for what felt like hours. I held onto Goober tightly, occasionally wiping my eyes on his dirty fur.

I remembered what I was like before I started my seventh year; before I'd started re-piecing my identity together, and before I'd ever heard of Remus Lupin. I had dated a little, but it was purely for socialization. I rejected the idea of romantic love; I didn't believe such a thing existed.

_And you were better off that way,_ old-Violet whispered from her home in the corner of my mind. Now that she was awake, she wanted to put in her two sickles. _You let yourself fall for that old brute, and look where it got you. You really are pathetic. You almost deserve this…_

"No!" I screamed, forcing her out of my mind. "Be quiet! I'm not you anymore! Leave me alone! I'm a different person now!"

"Violet, is that you in there?" Margret asked as she rapped on the door, which I had bewitched from the inside. No one was getting in anytime soon.

"Go away!" I snarled at the door. "I'm not in the mood!"

"I didn't come here to hassle you," she said. Even when she was trying to be nice, Margret always sounded cold. "I wanted to offer my condolences."

"Condolences?" I questioned, knowing that there must be some sort of catch.

"Yes," she said. "I feel just awful for you, Violet. I mean, Professor Lupin was a bloody _werewolf_! I can only imagine how… disgusted you must feel. I mean, you were sleeping with a-"

"Shut up!" I screamed, hurdling Goober at the door viciously. He collided with the hard mahogany with a loud _thud,_ and I heard Margret jump on the other side of the door. "You don't feel bad; you just want to rub it in my face! Leave me _alone!_"

"Is Violet in there?" I heard Aria ask. She was breathing heavily, which suggested to me that she had been running.

"She's locked herself in," Margret shrugged. "I'd imagine she's upset about-" she paused, suddenly emitting a loud, shrill cry. "Get your wand out of my face, Zimmer, or I'll-"

"Stay away from our daughter!" Ashley spat. "I am sick of you tormenting her! If I _ever_ hear you talking to my Vi-Vi like that again, I'll blast your pretty little head to bits!"

"Is that a threat?" Margret asked, and I could almost picture her eye twitch.

"Of course it's a threat!" Ashley said. "Jeez, for the smartest girl in our year, you're not too bright."

"Margret, please leave us," Aria requested diplomatically.

"Fine," she said, and I heard her march out loudly. I was surprised; normally, she wouldn't miss a chance to humiliate me. She must have taken Ashley's threat very seriously.

"Vi-Vi, please come out," Jeff whispered. He must have been right next to the door, or I doubt I would have been able to hear him.

"I don't want to," I said, curling up into the fetal position on the grimy, tiled floor. "Leave me alone! Why can't everyone just leave me the hell alone?!"

"Look, we understand why you're upset," said Aria. Her voice dropped, as if she didn't want someone else to hear what we were saying. "If I found out that my lover was a werewolf-"

"That isn't why I'm upset," I said, blowing my nose on the sleeve of my ratty old bathrobe. "I knew… I knew all along."

"Wait," said Ashley. "You mean, you knew he was a werewolf the _whole bloody time?!_"

"Yes," I hiccupped, scooting closer to the door. "And I didn't _care_."

"Then why didn't you tell us?" Jeff scolded.

"He wanted to keep it a secret," I said. "And now it doesn't even matter, anyway… He left me."

All three of them gasped in unison; even in my pathetic state, I couldn't help but think that it was creepy. I realized then that there was more than just a door separating us; the three of them had five and a half years of friendship they had shared before I came along. I would always be five and a half years behind, no matter how much we cared about each other.

"Oh Violet…" Aria said softly.

"I even invited him to come stay with me," I whimpered. "But he still left me…"

"Aww, Vi-Vi…" Ashley sniffled. "You poor thing…"

"It's his loss," Jeff assured me. "Anyone would be lucky to live with you."

"Yeah," Ashley agreed. "Hell, _I_ would _love_ to live in your house. It's so pretty…"

My heart jumped; if my mouth had been open, it would have leapt right out. I fumbled with the lock on the bathroom door, until finally I remembered I needed to use my wand to open it. I pulled it out of my pocket and tapped it on the door, causing it to fly open. Aria, Ashley, and Jeff were sitting down in front of the door, and for once I was happy to collapse into their group hug.

"I want the three of you to come live with me," I said frantically. Even if I was five and a half years behind, I still loved them; they were my most dear friends. And now that Remus was gone, I needed them more than ever. "Permanently."

Aria frowned, "Violet-"

"Of course!" Ashley and Jeff said together. "Hey, stop copying me! Hey!"

I rolled my eyes, "Stop that, before I change my mind."

"Does this mean you're taking over the boarding house after all?" Ashley asked hopefully.

"Yeah," I said, suddenly realizing that I had made my decision. A dilemma that had been placed in front of me years ago had finally been resolved, without any conscious thought on my part. "I guess I am…"

Aria cleared her throat, "We're not Professor Lupin, Violet. It isn't going to be the same."

"I know," I said. "Of course I know that. But… I don't want to lose you guys, too. I don't think my heart could take it…" I broke into uproarious sobs yet again, clinging to Aria like my life depended on us. Through my cloudy gaze, I saw Ashley and Jeff nod at each other before they left, knowing – from our experiences during our sixth year - that Aria was best at dealing with me when I was like this.

"Shhh, it's alright," she whispered, stroking my hair. "I'm here. You'll be alright, Vi…"

"What am I going to do?" I asked. "I don't think I'll ever stop loving him, Ari. I don't think I _can_…"

"You will," she assured me. "It will be hard – Professor Lupin was your first love, after all – and it may take a long time, but eventually, you'll forget."

_I don't want to forget,_ I realized, bursting into another fit of cries. _I don't want to stop loving Remus. If I can't be with him, I would rather be alone. _

Slowly, Aria started rocking back and forth, humming quietly. Her hums eventually turned into words, and I recognized them right away; the lullaby she sung to me last year, when my fear kept me awake for days at a time.

"_All the way back home,  
I'm telling you I caught the sun,  
Creeping up behind my shoulder,  
And another day's begun.  
I was following a trail,  
I'd never been along before,  
Chasing darkened skies above me,  
Looking like the spring.  
Like the winter and the morning…"_

_It won't be so bad,_ I told myself, tightening my grip on Aria while I listened to her sing. She had a beautiful voice; like one of the voices on Lupin's old records. A classic kind of pretty.

"_If there's a place I want to go,  
Then I'll be there with you.  
'Cuz in my dreams the things I'm wishing for,  
Keep coming true…"_

_Nana is a spinster,_ I remembered suddenly. A fresh wave of tears came, soaking Aria's robes like a sprinkler. _And Nana is happy… Well, she's content, at least. And alone and content would be better than a fake-love…_

"_Now a new day comes,  
Clears the darkness out of sight.  
And the shadows that were sleeping,  
Come and dance beneath the light._

_And I'm trying hard to hide,  
Keeping the sun out of my eyes.  
Close them tight and now I'm waiting,  
For the moon to rise…"_

I yawned through my tears, starting to doze off in Aria's arms. Before I knew it, I was asleep.

*

Author's Notes

Hey, me again… I just wanted to add that I don't own the song Ari sings here. It's actually one of my favorite Belle & Sebastian songs – and goes by the same title as this story. Youtube it, if you're interested. It's such a pretty song.

That's all I really wanted. Please keep reading and all that, even though things are starting to get a little sad now.

Love,  
Komaki


	44. Chapter 44

"My fellow students," I said, practicing my introduction while looking at my reflection in the large mirror inside Dumbledore's office. At last, it was graduation day; time for me to give my speech. My black graduation gown went down to my ankles, and my freshly manicured toes were covered by my favorite purple shoes – which clashed with my cap and gown, but matched the dress underneath perfectly. My pointed cap looked a little weird with my new haircut, which just barely touched my shoulders in the front, and gradually got shorter towards the back; the ends of my hair flared out at the ends, and only the tips of my bangs poked out in the front. The chord draped across my shoulder consisted of braided ribbons in Ravenclaw colors, and the student-speaker "bib" – as Jeff called it – looked awkward without the prefect sash that usually accompanied it. I was a little disappointed; for years I had dreamed of graduating with that sash…

"I like your new haircut," Dumbledore said, appearing behind me. He too was dressed in black graduation robes, though non-students who took part in the ceremony wore flat, squashed hats, and their other decorations were not house-specific. "I think it suits you quite nicely."

"_You know, I read in a manga that in Japan, a woman cutting her hair is symbolic of her having her heart broken,_" Aria had told me as Jeff cut off a large chunk of my damp, auburn hair.

"Yeah," I said, touching the awkward ends of my hair that were sticking out of my cap. "I think so, too."

He placed his old, wrinkled hand on my shoulder, and for a few moments, we stared at each other's reflections. At last, Dumbledore spoke, "Normally, graduation is a happy occasion; yet you seem melancholy."

"I know…" I sighed. "I just…"

"I understand," said Dumbledore. "You must miss Remus terribly."

I blushed, "Well, yeah… I mean, he was such a fantastic teacher. I learned so much from him-"

"I'm sure you did," Dumbledore chuckled. "You don't have to play coy with me, Violet; I know everything. I've known about the two of you from the start. You were both so awful at hiding your affair…"

My face grew even redder, "Y-you… Then why…"

"Why didn't I stop you?" he finished for me, when my throat started to tighten and I couldn't ask the question myself. "Because, even if the situation was a bit… unorthodox, you both needed to be loved; I didn't want to get in the way of that. Besides, I haven't seen Remus so happy since… Well, since he was your age. At any rate," he said, giving me a light shove towards the door. "We should be going. They can't start without us."

"Y-yeah…" I said, completely dazed. I allowed Dumbledore to guide me through the halls; without him, I probably would have walked right into a wall.

_He knew all along,_ my inner voice said. _That old bastard knew the entire time! That means all that time I let Margret blackmail me was for nothing!_

_It would have been for nothing, anyway,_ I reminded myself, swallowing a tiny sob that attempted to escape. _Professor Lupin is gone. All of it was for nothing…_

"Don't be sad," Dumbledore whispered – though I don't know why, the castle was completely empty – as he handed me a handkerchief. "I'm sure you'll see him again."

"How do you know?" I asked, wiping my eyes carefully, hoping that I didn't smudge my makeup too much.

"Because, despite whatever it was he said, Remus really does love you," he insisted. "He won't be able to keep his distance forever. Sure, it may take him a while to get his act together – years, even – but he will come back to you."

"Y-years?" I stuttered. My already broken heart throbbed with pain; the thought of waiting so much more painful than the thought of never seeing him again, and I knew it was because of the unknown-factor. Unknowns always made me nervous.

"Of course, in the mean time, you are free to do as you please," Dumbledore reminded me. "No one's forcing you to pine over him. You're free to live your own life."

_But I don't want to do that,_ I thought, blowing my nose. _I don't want to start a new life with someone else; it would be too painful. I'd rather be alone._

"I had a feeling that you wouldn't find that appealing," said Dumbledore, as if he too could hear my thoughts. It seemed more probable that _he_ would have such a power. "You're a remarkable young woman, Violet. I'm sure everything will work itself out; you'll be okay."

"Thank you, sir," I said, shoving the handkerchief into my pocket. I wasn't sure if I stopped crying because of what he said, or if it was because my eyes were finally running dry after a week of randomly bursting into tears, but his words did make me feel better. If Dumbledore said I would be okay, then I would be okay.

"Ah, here we are," he said as we arrived at the large, double doors that would take us outside, where the ceremony would be held. Dumbledore offered me his arm and a small, kind smile. "Shall we?"

My stomach turned, and I latched onto the headmaster's arm with my hands, which were now shaking violently at the thought of giving my speech in front of such a large group of people. The doors creaked open slowly, and I was momentarily blinded by the sun. Dumbledore led me outside, and slowly my vision cleared. My eyes fell on the crowd – seated on the benches that had been set up for them – and I was glad that I had skipped breakfast; if I had even eaten a piece of toast, everyone would have gotten a chance to see it right then. There were easily over a thousand people watching me, clapping the moment they noticed that Dumbledore had walked on stage.

"Have a seat," he said, nodding towards the empty chair with my name on it. I stifled a groan when I realized that I was sitting between Margret Cambell and Percy Weasley; the only other students on stage. The faculty sat on the other side of the stage, dressed in robes and caps that matched the headmaster's.

_Someone upstairs must have it in for me,_ I thought as I took my seat. Percy smiled and shook my hand, but Margret ignored me completely.

I elected to ignore her as well, and looked down at the student section of the crowd. I made a note of where my friends were sitting – they were relatively easy to find, since all three of them were waving at me like crazy people. I gave them a tiny nod, and then returned my attention to Professor Dumbledore, who had just cleared his throat into the microphone.

"My friends, welcome," he said happily. "I am delighted that we could all be here to witness this momentous event; the commencement of the class of 1994, the one-thousand-and-third group of graduates to enter Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as young, curious children, and leave informed, educated adults. I am very proud of each and every one of you."

The crowd erupted into applause, and – despite Filch's efforts to keep them off of the grounds – several noise makers went off. Once the noise quieted, Dumbledore spoke again – the words I had been dreading for months.

"And now, I would like you to meet our student speaker," he said. "This young lady is bright, witty, and has shown us that she is capable of kindness and compassion, almost beyond measure. I consider it a privilege to know her, and I have enjoyed watching her grow into the exceptional woman who will speak to you today."

I slouched down in my chair and covered my face with my hands. _Why does he have to talk me up like that? Now everyone is going to be disappointed when I get up there and throw up all over myself…_

"Without further ado, I would like to introduce you to Violet Carroll," he said, turning slightly and offering me his aged hand.

_You can do this,_ I told myself, forcing myself out of my seat. I had to take a few clumsy steps before I was able to grab onto Dumbledore's hand, and he guided me to the podium before he sat down – in the large chair he sat in during mealtimes. There was some applause, but I wasn't surprised that I didn't even bring about half of the excitement as my predecessor.

"Give 'em hell, Vi-Vi!" I heard Ashley cheer from the student section.

I laughed nervously, pulling my note cards out of my pocket. "T-thank you, Professor Dumbledore," I said, my voice quivering. I held onto the podium, hoping it would steady my shaky hands. It didn't. "It is t-t-truly an honor to speak here today…"

I looked at my audience, hoping to get some support from the huge section I had reserved for my family. My heart sunk. I had reserved a seat for everyone, not sure who would be able to make it. Only three of the seats were filled; my father, Uncle Jack, and Lutie were the only ones who came.

My mind went blank suddenly, and I was relieved that I had decided to bring my cards on stage with me, after all. I looked down at my notes:

_**Inferius**__: a corpse that has been re-animated by dark magic. Mindless, soulless shell._

I gulped, "Oh no…" I frantically flipped through my cards, and not one of them pertained to my speech.

_I grabbed the wrong stack,_ I realized. My trembling hands dropped the completely useless note cards, and the wind scattered them about at my feet. _Shit! Why do I have to be so stupid?!_

"Um…" I said, looking back out at the crowd. I – involuntarily – let out another dry, nervous laugh. "So… we're graduating today…"

_Come on, Violet!_ I said to myself. _Say something!_

But what? I remembered the basic point of my speech: we're all going on to bigger and better things, bla bla bla, we'll always remember our years at Hogwarts fondly, bla bla bla. It sounded so generic and lame, but with my usual speech-critic gone, I had no one to run the speech by beforehand.

_Just go with your gut,_ I thought, trying to pull together as much determination as I could. _You can't let Professor Dumbledore down, _especially _since he didn't expel you for having an affair with-_

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Margret's light, airy giggling behind me. I had to come up with something to say, and fast; if for no other purpose, it would get under her skin.

"Okay, look," I said, looking out at the student section. I took a deep breath, again clutching onto the podium with my shaky hands. "I realize that if we'd taken this to a vote, I probably wouldn't be standing here right now. I know most of you don't really like me that much… And truthfully… I don't really like most of you either…"

The crowed whispered and gasped, as if I had suggested we guillotine the whole first row, or something else extremely morbid.

I smacked my forehead, "No, wait, I didn't mean it to sound like that… Let me rephrase…" I took another deep breath, collecting my thoughts. "What I mean is… I've done some pretty terrible stuff in the past. I've said really awful things and I know I've hurt a lot of people. And… Well, I'd like to say that I'm sorry."

Again, a soft ruckus erupted from the crowd, the student section in particular. I waited for a few moments – until the crowd quieted down – before I spoke again.

"Look, guys," I said, turning to face my fellow graduates. "I understand if you want to hate me, I really do. But…" I swallowed. "But we can't let what's happened between us _here_ control us out _there_. We can't let the grudges we have now control the rest of our lives. As much as we all love Hogwarts… it is time for us to move on. I know it's hard, but you've got to understand, there's a whole other world out there, so much bigger than any of us has ever dreamed… And if we keep living in the past… Well, then I guess everything we've learned here was for nothing."

I waited for a response, but nothing happened. Blushing, I leaned into the mic, "Um… that's all."

My uncle stood up, clapping his pudgy hands together. Slowly, the rest of the crowd joined him. I was surprised; no one booed me off the stage. In fact, I seemed to be getting twice the applause I had received when I first approached the podium, though I still didn't hold a candle to Dumbledore.

After a while, Dumbledore joined me at the front of the stage. I was eager to sink back into my seat – in the background, where no one could really see me – but he placed his hand on his shoulder, forcing me to stay.

I sighed, "I'm sorry, sir."

"Sorry?" he questioned. No one, except for maybe a few people on the stage with us, could hear our little conversation over the hoops and hollers of the crowd.

"I totally bombed," I said. "I grabbed the wrong stack of note cards… That wasn't my real speech."

He chuckled, "I found what you said rather inspiring. It was defiantly entertaining, which was the reason I selected you to be class speaker in the first place. I'm especially glad that you didn't vomit on stage, like you predicted. I was not looking forward to cleaning that up."

I smiled halfheartedly – I didn't think I'd be able to _really_ smile for a long, long time – "Thank you, Professor."

"Violet Carroll," he said into the microphone. "I am pleased to present you with your diploma."

"B-but," I stammered dumbly. "I thought Percy and Margret were supposed to graduate first…"

He ignored my protests, handing me a roll of parchment. I could see Margret glaring at me out of the corner of my eye. "Congratulations, Miss Carroll," Professor Dumbledore said. "I cannot wait to see where you go from here."

"Thank you, sir," I said, shaking his hand gratefully. "For everything."


	45. Chapter 45

"Vi-Vi!" Jeff squealed as he, Aria, and Ashley approached me, with their diplomas in hand. Once the ceremony was finished, the students were turned loose for a little bit, and later we would be rounded up once again for the traditional march to Hogsmeade station, where we would board our special train back to London.

"We're so proud of you!" Ashley said. To my surprise, the tears in her eyes weren't fake. Her pointed graduate's cap rested between her pigtails, which she had curled for this special occasion. "To think, my daughter finished school…"

I laughed. The success – or, at last the not-total-failure – of my speech had put me in a slightly better mood. "You just finished school too, you know."

Aria nodded, "You have no idea how difficult it is to go to school _and_ support a child…."

"Neither do you," I said flatly.

"Hey sexy," Eddie said, wrapping his long, lanky arms around Aria from behind.

She blushed slightly, but was more than eager to lean into the embrace, "Hi."

_I miss that,_ I thought, unable to watch the adorable scene for too long. _Hell, I never even _had_ that. Professor Lupin and I were never able to show affection in public…_

"Say, that wasn't a bad speech, Vi," Eddie said, resting his chin on Aria's shoulder. "I liked how you pretended to mess up at the beginning. That was a nice touch; made you seem more human."

"Um… thanks," I said. "I guess…"

"You kids don't mind if I steal Ari away, do you?" he asked, nuzzling her long neck lovingly. I had to look away for this, too. I was unbelievably envious, and it was too easy to remember…

"For what?" Ashley asked, crossing her arms with skepticism.

Eddie laughed, "I want her to meet my parents."

"E-e-eddie!" Aria stammered. "Are you sure?"

"Go on, Ari dear," Jeff said, elbowing me in the side. "It's important to meet the parents, isn't it?"

I rolled my eyes, "You guys aren't my parents…"

"Of course," Aria said, composing herself. "No, you're right. I would love to meet your parents. Do I look alright?"

It was an utterly ridiculous question; Aria always looked like an angel. Even the funny way her huge mass of curly hair stuck out of her cap made her look cute.

"You look fine, babe," Eddie assured her.

"Yeah," Ashley agreed. "Go on! Make a good first impression!"

Aria nodded, "Right, good first impression… I'll see you guys on the train."

"Goodbye, Ari!" Jeff and Ashley yelled, waving her off enthusiastically.

"Good luck…" I said quietly.

"Come on," Jeff said, grabbing onto my hand with both of his. "Let's go for a walk; maybe we'll bump into someone we know. Is your family here?"

I nodded, "Just Uncle Jack, Lutie, and my dad."

"Aww, drat," he pouted. "I was looking forward to teasing Naners. Oh well, I suppose there will be loads of time for that when we get home…"

"Yeah…" I said, scanning the crowd. My eyes eventually found a resting place on Professor Severus Snape, and I wondered if he knew that his schoolboy grudge was the inspiration for my speech. He was conversing with a couple who could have auditioned for parts in George Orwell's Animal Farm. The woman was short and round, with a snout turned up like a pig's. The man resembled a rooster, with his long, beaklike nose – much like the Potion's Master he was chatting with – and his greased-back blond hair, which stuck up in the back like a crest.

"Mum and Dad…" I heard Jeff mumble beside me, and when I looked up, I saw that he was staring at the same couple. "They came… I mean, I invited them, but I didn't think…"

"You invited them to your graduation?" I asked. "After all they put you through, you-"

"Mum and Dad!" Jeff shrieked, skipping over to them, as if there were no animosity between them whatsoever. Snape backed away slowly, hoping to slip away unnoticed, and Jeff's parents looked at him oddly, as if they weren't sure he was truly their son – and with the glittery eye makeup and the bright red lipstick, I can see why. Eventually, Jeff and his mother embraced, and his father patted his back awkwardly.

"Jeff's parents look like they're from a farm, huh?" Ashley giggled, echoing my thoughts. "I think it's good that they came. It's a step in the right direction; don't you think?"

I nodded, "Yes, I suppose…"

"Oh, I think I see my mommy," Ashley said. She started to take off, but then paused, looking up at me with a glitter of guilt.

I shook my head, "Go on. We'll all see each other on the train."

"Bye," Ashley said, smiling at me before she disappeared into the throng.

I felt the familiar sensation of someone tugging on my robe, and I was happy to see Professor Flitwick standing next to me.

"Good show, Violet," he said. His grin covered almost half of his tiny face.

"I totally blew it," I shrugged.

"Yeah, you did," he said, laughing. "But once you got your act together, you had something meaningful to share with your fellow graduates. I hope they take the message to heart."

"Thank you, Professor," I said.

"Oh Violet!" Flitwick sobbed, suddenly bursting into tears as he threw his arms around me. It was terribly awkward, since the top of his head only came up to my bellybutton. "I have no idea what I'm going to do without you!"

"There there…" I said nervously, patting his shoulder. "It'll be alright, Professor. I'm sure you'll have other students…"

"Of course I will," he said, backing away from me slowly. "You're right, of course…"

"But… you know…" I said, adjusting my cap. "If you wanted to… I don't know… Come visit me sometime, I wouldn't complain."

"Ha! Alright then," he said, removing his glasses so he could dry his eyes. "That sounds like an excellent idea."

"Filius Flitwick," Uncle Jack said, bending down to hug the tiny man, who was about one sixth his size. "Long time no see!"

"Jacky Boy!" Professor Flitwick gasped excitedly. "Good to see you again! Why, it seems like just yesterday, _you_ were graduating…"

"How long do we have to stay here?" Lutie whispered into my ear, quite impatiently. "I feel so out of place."

"Lutie!" I cried, throwing my arms around her. "Thank you so much for coming!"

"Let go of me!" she hissed, pushing me away. "I've told you a thousand times, don't hug me in public!"

"Now Lutie," my father scolded. "Be nice."

"Shut up," she grumbled.

"Hi, Daddy," I said. It was still a little awkward for me to speak to him, but I wasn't ready to give up on my relationship with my father just yet, especially in light of recent events.

"I'm very proud of you, Violet," he said, handing me a bouquet of violets, which happen to be my favorite flower.

I smiled, accepting the gift. "Thank you…"

"Now, that's from both of us," Uncle Jack said, leaving Professor Flitwick to mingle with his other students.

"How come no one else came?" I asked. I tried not to sound too upset, but truthfully, I was a bit disappointed that none of the borders showed up. Sure, we weren't actually related, but they were still family. I had known Nana, Mrs. O'Grady, and Bert my entire life. I was the flower girl at Mr. and Mrs. Keats' wedding. I had helped Miss McGuff raise Lutie, when her boyfriend left her destitute when he discovered she was pregnant.

My father and my uncle exchanged worried glances, and I could tell neither of them really wanted me to know the reason. Lutie, on the other hand, was as blunt as ever.

"They're pissed at you," she said frankly. Her tone suggested that she wasn't exactly pleased with me, either, but then again; Lutie almost never sounded happy.

My jaw dropped, "Why? What did I do?"

"Now Lutie," said Uncle Jack. "There's more to it than just that. Nana wasn't feeling well-"

"She wouldn't have wanted to go anyway," said Lutie.

"But… why?" I asked again.

"Oh, I don't know," she sighed sarcastically. "Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you brought a bloody _werewolf into our house!_"

My heart – the tiny pieces that were left of it, anyway – dropped. "Oh…"

"We've told them that they're being ridiculous," said Uncle Jack. "You had no way of knowing the old bloke was a werewolf. You wouldn't have brought him into our home if you'd known; you're not _stupid_."

I laughed nervously, "Yeah…"

"The Keats took it very hard," my father said. "They packed up and moved as soon as they found out. They were furious…"

_Poor Coral,_ I thought. _She must be having a rough time without Damien…_

"It just goes to show you; you can't trust anyone," Uncle Jack said. "It's a shame, really. Lupin seemed like a nice fellow."

"Yeah…" I said again. I wasn't sure how to respond to my family's prejudice. I didn't even want to think about how they would have reacted if they had known what was actually going on between us, and that I had invited Lupin to live with us permanently. I was too shocked and too heartbroken to come up with a persuasive argument, so I decided not to protest. It didn't matter anymore, anyway. Remus wasn't part of my life anymore.

After about half an hour of conversing, we were paraded through the village of Hogsmeade, like warriors who had just returned from a victorious battle; the school song was our battle cry. Our families followed after us; a special section of the train had been reserved just for them. During the trip, most of the students celebrated, but I decided to tell my friends I wasn't feeling well, and found myself an empty compartment so I could be alone.

I tried reading, but even my favorite hobby couldn't keep me distracted for long. Eventually, I stopped pretending, shut my book, and stared out the window. The countryside rolled by, and I could see my reflection in the glass. I – like the rest of my fellow graduates – removed my cap and gown after I boarded the train, leaving me in my white sundress, which was printed with African violets. Before I slipped off into my private compartment, Jeff had tucked one of the blossoms from my bouquet and tucked it behind my ear. I always liked the way purple looked with my dark auburn hair. So beautiful…

I rested my forehead against the window and closed my eyes, happy to lose myself to my own thoughts.

_I can't believe how… intolerant people are,_ I said to myself. _So what if Remus is a werewolf? Why is that such a big deal? Isn't it enough that he has to suffer from that terrible disease? _

"After what he did to me, he deserves it," I mumbled under my breath, shedding a few tears. I pulled up my legs and rested my chin on my pale knees. I glanced out the window again; the sun was setting already. It would be dark by the time we reached Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters.

_No, I don't mean that,_ I thought. _I can't even _pretend_ to mean that. I really wish I did… That would make things so much easier._

"But… I want him to be happy," I said, as if I had to justify my feelings to an invisible person sitting in the compartment with me. "And if he can be happy without me, then I just… I have to let him go. I hope he finds someone he can be happy with."

_I don't mean that, either,_ I realized. _I want him; I couldn't bear seeing him with another woman... _

_He deserves another woman,_ I knew. _Maybe someone closer to his age. Someone pretty, and really smart... Someone a lot nicer than me. Someone he'd want to be with no matter what. Remus deserves that…_

"I just wish it could have been me…" I said. "I'm so selfish and spoiled…"

I must have spaced out, because when a knocking sound forced me back to reality, it was almost completely dark outside. I saw Jeff, Aria, and Ashley waving at me through the window.

I sighed, getting up to slide open the door, "Hi guys."

"Are you feeling better?" Aria asked.

I nodding, sitting back down, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just needed a little space."

"Oh, Vi-Vi, your hair is all messy," Jeff cooed, sitting down next to me so he could tidy up my hair.

"It feels so weird," Ashley said dreamily, relaxing into her seat. "I mean, part of me feels like we'll be back on this train in three months…"

"Yeah, I know what you mean," I agreed. "Jeff, how did things go with your parents?"

He thought about it for a few moments, and then replied, "You know, I'm not really sure…"

"They didn't say anything mean to you, did they?" said Ashley.

"No," he said, sounding very shocked himself. "They just… congratulated me, and invited me for back to their house for brunch next week. It feels so weird; I haven't set foot in that house for years…"

"I'm glad you're starting to work things out with them," I said, doing my best to smile for him.

There was another knock on the door, and we all turned to see Penelope Clearwater poke her head inside. Her cheeks had turned a delicate shade of pink. "Um… Jeff?"

He looked up at her, "Hmm?"

"Could I… Do you think I could talk to you for a moment?" she asked. "Oh, hello girls…"

"Hi," the three of us said together.

"Your speech was very nice, Violet," Penelope said to me, though her eyes didn't leave Jeff for a second. "I hope people take what you said to heart."

"Thanks, Penelope," I said. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Come on, Penny-poo," Jeff said, grabbing her by the hand and tugging her out of our compartment. He slid the door shut behind us, winking at us through the window before he left with Penelope.

"How cute," Ashley giggled. "Jeffey gets his princess after all."

"Looks like it," I shrugged, not even trying to hide my jealousy.

"Awwww, don't be upset, Vi-Vi," said Aria as she moved to take Jeff's spot me. "A handsome prince will come find you someday."

"But he won't be handsomererer than _mine_," Ashley added. "But if you like, he can be taller, or maybe he can have a nicer horse…"

"I don't want anything like that," I said, looking down at my purple pumps.

"You can't pine over Professor Lupin forever," Aria insisted. "Violet, you know that's completely illogical-"

"That's easy for you to say," I said, folding my shaky hands in my lap. "Believe me, I don't want a prince."

"How about a hot doctor, then?" Ashley suggested, doing her best to sound hopeful.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I don't want _anyone. _Please, can we just drop it?"

"Alright," Ashley said. "But if I ever see that dirty werewolf again, I swear-"

"Don't talk about him like that!" I snapped. The tears I was hoping to keep at bay by changing the subject finally broke through. "I can't believe you hate him, just because of his condition-"

"That isn't why!" Aria interrupted, now on the edge of hysteria herself. "We hate him because he broke your heart! You've got to get over him, Violet! Didn't you hear your own speech? You have to move on; for all our sakes…"

"But…" I sniffled. "I don't think I can…"

The three of us jumped as the train started to slow down suddenly. When I glanced out the window, I saw that we were entering a tunnel; we would be at the station soon.

"That's alright," Aria said, rubbing my back gently. "We don't expect you to get over him right away. But you need to have a different attitude about it; you can't delude yourself into thinking that you'll never fall in love again. Can you at least promise me that you'll _try_ to move on?"

"Y-yeah…" I lied, whipping my eyes. _Trying something like that would be pointless,_ I thought, but telling Ari and Ashley that wouldn't get the subject changed anytime soon. _Even if I wanted to, I could never love someone else the way I love Remus. My heart just wouldn't be in it; it wouldn't be fair to the other person. No one deserves fake-love… _

The door to the compartment slid open, and Jeff and Penelope stood in the doorway. Forsaking her shyness, Penelope had her arms around Jeff's neck, and her head rested over his heart. One of his lanky arms was wrapped around her waist, holding her close. The fact that his dress was twice as pretty as hers didn't seem to bother her one bit.

I was so jealous, I'm surprised my skin didn't turn green. Being alone for the rest of my life wasn't going to be easy… Memories of the few short months I shared with Remus were all I had left. I vowed to replay them in my head every night, and I prayed that they wouldn't fade if I kept them in the front of my mind, where I could see them every time I closed my eyes.

"The train's just about stopped," Jeff said, kissing the top of Penelope's head. "Shall we be off, ladies?"

"Oh, Aria, I almost forgot," Penelope said. "Eddie was looking for you."

Aria's face lit up when she heard his name, "I'm going to go find him…" she looked at me helplessly, as if she was afraid to leave me alone.

"Go on," I said, rolling my eyes as I waved her away. "We'll meet you at the car."

"Don't be sad, Vi-Vi," Ashley said cheerfully as she grabbed onto my hand. I had never noticed how small her hands were. They were like a child's hands. "We can be sexy singles together."

"Great…" I groaned, allowing her to lead me out of the train.

I could tell something strange was going on the second we set foot on the concrete floors of the platform. Instead of going to meet their parents – who were unloading at the other end of the platform – the freshly graduated students stopped, blocking the exits of the train while they stared and whispered amongst themselves.

"What's everyone looking at?" I asked the person standing next to me, who – I realized only after I had spoken to her – turned out to be Jen Rodgers; Margret's annoying friend.

"That shabby old werewolf is here," she sneered. "Can you believe Dumbledore actually let him _teach_ at our school? He could have killed us all! Maybe the old man's finally lost his marbles…"


	46. Chapter 46

"Professor Lupin's here?" I asked Jen in dismay. My heart jumped with excitement; this was just too good to be true.

_It doesn't mean he's here to see me,_ I thought quickly. _Or it could be a mistake. Don't get your hopes up..._

Jen shrugged, obviously not very interested, "It looks like it…"

I started to push my way towards the front of the group, but Ashley held onto my wrist tightly, preventing me from going too far.

"Violet Elise Carroll," she said, using my full name to invoke seriousness – something that wasn't exactly her forte. "I forbid you to-"

"You can't forbid me to do anything," I said.

Her grip tightened, "As your mother, I cannot allow you to go anywhere near such a dangerous-"

"You're _not_ my mother!" I snarled. "Now let _go_!"

"Vi-Vi…" she breathed, looking at me with the saddest expression I had ever seen; like I had just broken her heart. Her taut grip suddenly became flaccid, and it was easy to free myself.

"I'm sorry…" I trailed off, forcing myself to turn away from her. She didn't try to stop me as I took off into the crowd, pushing past the closely-huddled group of students.

Once I got past them, however, there was plenty of room to move. The entire class left a space of several meters between themselves and Lupin, as if they were afraid that they would catch lycanthropy if they got too close.

At the time, I didn't even notice. All I saw was Remus, sitting on top of his massive, antique trunk, with the rest of his worldly belongings – which were all packed into his briefcase and a few tattered suitcases – looking over a newspaper with a pen in his hand.

There he was, right in front of me, but I couldn't speak. I couldn't even clear my throat to get his attention. My throat was closed so tight, I could hardly breathe.

_He's here,_ I thought. _He's really here…_

He must have heard my heart beating – to me, it was so loud that was completely drowning out the whispers and occasional roars from the crowd behind me – because he looked up from his newspaper. He had dark circles under his eyes, – they had grown substantially since our last encounter – and the rest of his face was totally devoid of color. He looked as though he hadn't had a good meal, a good night's sleep, or a good shave in the few long weeks since he'd left Hogwarts. The last traces of the bite marks on his neck were turning the ugliest shade of purple you can imagine, and few of his other lesions were starting to turn into new scars.

"Oh, Violet," he said, smiling at me, like he used to when I would stroll into his office; like nothing had changed. "There you are. I was hoping you'd get here soon; I'm having a bit of trouble with this crossword puzzle. Can you think of another word for 'fraudulent'? The answer starts with a _D_ and has twelve letters… And there may be an _N_ somewhere in there too…"

I blinked, considering the question seriously for a moment. I had always been pretty good at word games. When I thought of the answer, my throat opened up just enough to allow me to speak, "I think _disingenuous_ might…" I paused, shaking my head, "What are you _doing_? I know you're not here just to ask for help with a crossword…"

"Your right," he sighed, folding up the newspaper. "That isn't why I'm here."

"What, then?" I asked when he didn't elaborate. My voice quivered, but there was a tiny hint of happiness in it, despite the fact that I had decided not to get my hopes up.

"I just… I feel terrible about how we left things," Remus said somberly. He sat the pen and newspaper aside, but kept his eyes focused on them, like it was easier to tell all this to them than to say it directly to me.

"Does this mean…" I trailed off, suddenly remembering the group of people huddled around us, watching intently as if Remus and I were the stars their favorite soap opera. My heart fluttered with hope nonetheless.

He groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "Violet… I just want you to _understand_…"

"Understand what? That you don't want to be with me?" I said, my fury and sorrow causing me to once again forget about our audience, who all gasped in surprise. I felt my face turning bright red when I realized that, - after hiding it for all those months – the secret was finally out.

_Not that it matters much now,_ I reminded myself. _He isn't a teacher anymore, and even if he was, I graduated._

"It's not that I don't want to be with you…" he said, still keeping his eyes on the newspaper. I didn't care; I wasn't ready for eye contact yet, either.

"You don't have to lie to me," I told him with my wobbly voice. "I'm not a child, I can handle the truth. I know I don't deserve you; I'm spoiled and selfish and-"

"And completely wrong," he finished for me. "I _do_ want to be with you, but I _don't_ want you to be with me."

"That doesn't make any sense at all!" I said, sobbing quietly to myself.

"It doesn't make sense to you, because you don't _understand,_" he insisted, sounding almost as hysterical as I felt.

"Understand _what_?" I snapped. "Spell it out for me; what is it that you want me to _understand_?!"

"That there's no future with someone like me!" he shouted back, finally looking at me. His hair had fallen out of place, and dangled in front of his face. Somehow, that exaggerated his exhausted features even more.

"W-what do you mean?" I gulped. "Of course there's-"

"I'll never be able to take care of you!" he continued, as if he didn't hear me at all. As soft and timid as my voice sounded – and with the added sounds of the crowd – it's very possible that he didn't. "I'll never be able to find good, paid work."

"I don't care," I insisted. "You know I don't…"

"You'll care when we're starving, and have no place to go," said Remus.

"That won't happen," I said. It took all the energy I had to keep my head straight, and to keep myself from bursting into tears – like the child I claimed I wasn't. "I have a house where we can live, and plenty of tenants who pay rent."

"I won't be able to pay," he sighed.

"I don't want you to," I said kindly. I decided to risk taking a step forward, but he recoiled instantly, almost tripping over one of his suitcases. I could feel my heart start to break all over again; into even smaller pieces this time. Pieces so tiny I'd never be able to put them back together.

_I can't lose him again,_ I thought. _I can't take it. I have to make him change his mind._

Remus sighed again, looking quite deflated, "Violet… That's…"

"Please, come live with me," I said, hating that it almost sounded like begging; I didn't want to beg. I took another step forward, and this time he didn't try to back away. My lips curled into a tiny smile as I grabbed onto his hands, which were dangling lifelessly at his sides.

"Even if that all worked out, I'm too _old_ for you," he said, as if it were something he was deeply ashamed of.

I shook my head, "You're not that old, Remus."

"And I look even older," he added.

"I don't care about that," I said, reaching up to caress his face. He shuddered at my touch, like he had forgotten what it felt like. "Besides, I… I think you're terribly handsome…"

"You do?" he asked, finally smiling a little.

I nodded, smiling back. It was the first time I'd really smiled since he'd left, and it didn't matter that I was blushing like crazy. It seemed like years had passed since I felt that happy. "Of course…"

"What are you waiting for?" a voice from the crowd shouted. I jumped; it's amazing how easy it is to forget a hundred people are watching you when you're near the person you love. "Kiss her, Professor!"

"Yeah!" Eddie Carmichael said. "Give her a big 'ol smooch!"

I was utterly mortified, but when I looked up at Remus, he was grinning. I – very briefly – saw that mischievous glimmer in his gorgeous blue eyes before he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me forward. I opened my mouth to yelp in surprise, but his lips were on mine before any sound could make its way out.

I didn't care that a huge group of people were watching, even if my friends – and even my own father and uncle – were a part of it. It was too easy to close my eyes and forget that they were there, even though they were clapping much louder than they had for my speech. The second our lips connected, I melted. His tongue toyed with mine very tenderly, as if it was apologizing for leaving its playmate all alone. I couldn't stop myself from giggling when his mustache tickled my face.

He pulled away suddenly, and my heart dropped for a short moment. My spirits quickly rose to new heights, however, when he drew me into a warm, tight embrace.

"I love you," he whispered, just loud enough that I could hear him over the whoops and hollers of our audience. Apparently, there were plenty of students who still liked Professor Lupin, despite knowing the truth about his affliction. "I'm sorry I was so cruel to you... I just thought it would make things easier. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course… I love you, too," I murmured, holding onto his lapels so tightly that my knuckles were turning white. My hands were shaking more than ever, and I couldn't keep myself from crying anymore.

"Shh, it's alright," Remus said softly, stroking my hair.

"Don't leave me," I whimpered. "I couldn't stand it if you left me again."

"I won't leave you," he promised. "I don't think I'm strong enough to do that again."

"Good," I said, allowing myself to relax in his arms. "I missed you so much, Remus. You have no idea how lonely I was without you…"

He tilted my face up, gently wiping away my tears, "I think I have a pretty good idea. Can you Apparate?"

"No," I laughed nervously. I had never felt as stupid as I had on the day I failed the test for my Apparition lisence for the third time. I gave up after that. "You know how I am; shaky hands and all that."

Remus chuckled, kissing the top of my head, "Then hold on tight."

"Wait," I said. "Where are we going?"

"Home," he said. "Are you ready?"

I nodded, tightening my grip, "Yes, I'm ready."

I clamped my eyes shut and bit down on my lower lip. I hated Apparating; it always made my stomach turn in the worst imaginable way. There was a loud crack – loud enough that at first I thought my ears had exploded – and I stumbled a little when we landed. It was pitch black outside; the only source of light I could see was coming from the boarding house, off in the distance.

"Watch your step," Remus said, steadying me. "Are you alright."

"Yeah," I said weakly. "Peachy."

"Wait just a moment…" he trailed off, digging through his tattered briefcase. When I looked around, I noticed that his belongings had Apparated along with us. "Ah, here we are," Remus said, handing me a tiny chocolate bar. "This will make you feel better."

_Some things are never going to change,_ I thought, giggling as I accepted the gift. "Thank you."

"What's so funny?" he asked curiously.

"Nothing," I said, opening the chocolate. I shoved the foil paper into my pocket and slipped the chocolate into my mouth. I wrapped my arms around myself while I chewed. My strapless dress wasn't doing much to keep the cold, night air away from my exposed skin. "I just… I really missed you, Remus."

"I really missed you, too," he said. "Are you cold?"

"No," I lied. "I'm fine."

"Here, take my coat," he offered, slipping the tattered tweed thing off and draping it across my shoulder.

I warmed up instantly, and I knew it wasn't because of the coat. It was because my heart was whole again. I'd already forgotten how good those fuzzy, lovey-dovey emotions make you feel. They made me feel whole again; as if the last week or two hadn't even happened.

_I was wrong, _I thought. _When I used to think that these kinds of feelings weren't real… That's one good thing about the new me; she knows what love is._

"You cut your hair," Remus said absently, running his fingers through it.

"Do you like it?" I asked, swallowing the last of the chocolate. It was the best I had ever tasted.

He nodded, "You look beautiful..."

My face flushed – being apart for so long had ruined any blush-immunity I had started building up – but I couldn't keep myself from smiling.

"Come on," I said, lifting up the bigger of the two suitcases. "Let's go home."

"Are you sure that isn't too heavy for you?" he asked, looking quite concerned.

I rolled my eyes, "I've got it. Besides, you're _old_. We wouldn't want you breaking your hip, now would we?"

"Oh, ha ha," he sneered playfully. "You're so witty."

I grabbed onto his hand, holding my head up high. I was grinning from ear-to-ear, "I like to think so, yes."


	47. Chapter 47

I realized a few things during the short walk up to the Starlight boarding house. I realized that since I quit playing Quidditch, I had lost all my upper body strength; carrying that suitcase was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I also realized that I'd left my own trunk back at the station, and I hoped that someone would think to grab it for me. _Then_ I realized I had Apparated away very hastily, leaving my family and friends at Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters.

"Are you nervous?" Remus asked me as we hobbled up the front steps. The large trunk was levitating behind us, but we were carrying the suitcases ourselves.

I nodded, "More than I've ever been before in my entire life."

"Me too," he said, sounding oddly happy about that fact.

"I want to tell you right now…" I dropped the suitcase, taking a few deep breaths before I continued. "I'm not sure what my family is going to say… But no matter what they do, it isn't going to change _anything_."

He sighed, "I don't want to ruin your family, Violet. If they don't want me here, then-"

"Then they'll just have to learn to deal with it," I said, ringing the doorbell. For once, I sounded more confident than I actually was; which I suppose isn't saying much, since I knew that if Mora got her way, there would be bloodshed before another magical being moved into her house – especially one as seemingly dangerous as a werewolf. "It's my house," I said, trying to reassure not just Remus, but myself as well. "I'm calling the shots from now on."

_Mora isn't going to go down without a fight,_ I told myself, ringing the bell again. _I need to be ready for whatever she throws at me._

Finally, Bert answered the door. He offered me a tiny smile, and tipped his cap, "Good evening, Miss Carroll."

"Hello, Bert," I said cheerfully.

"You're home early," he said. "We weren't expecting you until past 'leven."

"Something… unexpected came up," I said. "But the others probably won't be here for quite some time. Do you think you could help us get these inside?"

"Of course, Miss Carroll," he said, stepping outside. He seemed happy enough, until he saw Remus standing next to me.

"Well, come on," I said, picking up the briefcase. "It's cold out here, and we're very tired."

"M-m-miss Carroll…" he stuttered, backing away – back into the house.

I sighed, "Bert, I swear-"

"You brought _him_ here?" he said. "But he's a-"

"I don't care," I said harshly. "Now, are you going to help us or not?"

Bert didn't answer me, but – looking quite terrified – he did help us move the suitcases inside. He nearly jumped out of his skin when the trunk floated past him, landing gracefully in the middle of the foyer.

Even though Lutie had told me about everyone's reactions already, it still hurt to see Bert – whom I had never known to be prejudice – scurry away from Lupin like a frightened child as soon as we were finished.

_He'll be okay,_ I told myself. _Once he realizes that Remus is harmless, he'll be fine._

"Well, it's going great so far," Remus said sarcastically.

"I already told you, I don't care what they say," I reminded him, removing his jacket. I folded it once before I handed it to him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said, draping it over his arm.

"Hey, don't be so glum," I said, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "It'll be okay."

"Violet Elise Carroll!" I heard Mora gasp from behind me. I turned around quickly – almost losing my balance in my heels – and saw her standing there, with a glass of bourbon in her hand. For someone who did a lot of complaining about Uncle Jack's fondness for alcohol, she did an awful lot of drinking herself.

But the beverage wasn't the only backup she brought with her. Ms. McGuff, Mrs. O'Grady, and Bert were all right behind her. Two against four, and it was probably only a matter of time before Mora's reinforcements arrived; this was defiantly going to be an uphill battle.

"What on earth are you _doing_?" she demanded, furrowing her brows the way she always did the second she got a hint of anything magical.

"Hello, Mora," I said, trying to sound as calm as possible. I didn't want her to think she had an edge this early on. "Good to see you."

"Did I just see you _kiss_ him?" she spat, truly disgusted with me.

Somehow, my stepmother's disapproval only made me love Remus even more. I latched onto his arm and forced myself to look into Mora's frosty eyes, "So what if I did?"

If her jaw dropped any further, it would have hit the floor. She wasn't used to having people stand up to her. "You little tramp..."

"I am _not_ a tramp!" I said, already starting to shake. I looked up at Remus for support, but he seemed content to stare at the floor and look ashamed of himself. I gulped – this wasn't going well for our team – "I love him…"

"Child, you've lost your mind," Mrs. O'Grady said.

"No, I haven't," I said. "We're in love."

Mora scoffed, "I thought you didn't believe in stuff like that?"

I felt about two feet tall; standing up to Mora was even harder than letting Margret have it. I swallowed, "That was before…"

"Let me guess," Mora said, tapping her chin while she pretended to think of her comeback. At last, she said the words I knew – through previous experience – were in her mouth before I'd even finished my previous rebuttal. "Your… _erotic_ experiences caused you to have a change of heart?"

My face flushed, "N-no, that's not-"

"You're such a foolish girl," she said, looking at me in a way that made me feel two feet tall. "If you think a… a _monster _can love, then-"

"He is _not_ a monster!" I screamed, stomping my foot.

"H-h-he _is_ a m-m-monster!" Ms. McGuff stuttered, looking at Remus as if he were standing there with a bloody chainsaw in one hand and a severed human head in the other. "And y-y-y-you'r-r-re b-b-bringing h-h-h-him into our h-h-h-house!"

"Oh, do close your mouth, Sarah," Mora hissed. "If you don't have anything coherent to say, don't say anything at all."

"But she's right!" said Bert. "He's dangerous! What's to stop him from killing us all right now?"

I had a feeling that this was coming, but it still broke my heart to hear the people I considered my family saying such awful things.

_But it would hurt even more to live without Remus,_ I told myself. That thought alone was enough to keep me pushing forward with all my might.

"Remus is _not_ a monster!" I repeated. "How can you even say something like that? You're awful…"

"He's dangerous," Bert said, as if that justified all the horrible things they were saying and thinking.

Ms. McGuff nodded, "I don't w-w-want him around my child!"

"It's too bad that you feel that way," I said, taking a step closer to Remus. I tightened my clasp on his arm, hoping that would steady my voice. Surprisingly, it did. "Because he's going to be living with us from now on."

"No, he isn't," Mora said calmly.

"Yes, he is," I said, managing to mimic her tone quite well.

Remus cleared his throat, "Um, Violet-"

"I will _not_ have a werewolf living in _my_ house," Mora said. Her face was growing redder and redder by the moment. She knew what my next move was going to be – I could tell – and she also knew there was nothing she could do about it. I was an adult, and I had finished school; the house was legally mine.

"It isn't your house," I said proudly. "It's _mine_. And if I say he can stay here, then-"

I knew when she interrupted me, she had finally blown her lid. Normally, I would relish in this, but this wasn't something as trivial as which way the sofa in the living room should face, or how many pancakes I was allowed to eat for breakfast; I didn't even smile when she growled, "Just _wait_ until your father gets home!"

As of summoned by his wife's voice, my father burst through the front door. He was followed shortly by Uncle Jack, Lutie, and my friends – all three of them – who pushing their trunks inside. I noticed that Jeff had mine, as well. Lutie's face had an unsightly green tone to it, and she leaned on the wall in a way that suggested she could spew her guts out at any moment.

_They must have Apparated,_ I realized. _Uncle Jack, Aria, Ashley, and Jeff all have their lisence. _

"You son of a bitch!" my father snarled – quite uncharacteristically – as he charged at Lupin. I screamed, but my uncle restrained him before he got a chance to strike.

"Roland, calm down," Uncle Jack said as he struggled to keep my father under control.

"Get away from my daughter!" my father yelled. His nostrils flared in a way that would have made me tremble if he had been the disciplinarian when I was a small child. "Get your filthy hands off of her! I swear, if you've so much as _touched_ her, I'll-"

"Stop it!" I screamed. "Stop!"

My father inhaled sharply, looking down at himself as if he suddenly realized what he was doing. His face softened instantly. "I'm sorry, Violet. I didn't mean to carry on like that..."

Mora rolled her eyes, "For Christ's sake, Roland, why can't you act like a man for once in your life?"

"It doesn't always have to be a fight, my dear," he said. "I'm sure we can all talk this through-"

"She wants him to live here, Roland!" Mora screamed hysterically. Her hair was starting to fall out of her bun, making her look wild.

"_Live_ here?"he said, looking at me with dismay. The red tent that danced across his cheeks revealed what he was thinking. "Violet-"

It was so much harder to stand up to my father, – maybe because he was an actual blood relative – but it was something I had to do. "Don't look at me like that, Daddy. I… I love him."

Much to my surprise, it was my uncle who was the first to object. "Violet, you can't be serious…"

My heart sunk; I always thought that Uncle Jack would take my side no matter what, even if he didn't agree with me. I had always been able to count on him for support, until now.

"I _am_ serious," I said. "I have never been more serious about anything in my entire life."

"But even if he wasn't a… you know…" said Uncle Jack. He looked at Remus, checking to make sure he hadn't affined the werewolf, who stood a good several heads taller than him. "Well… _look_ at him, Violet. He's almost twice your age!"

I rolled my eyes; I was sick of hearing the age argument. "I don't care… I love him."

"You're too young to understand know what love is," Mora said, throwing back the rest of her bourbon.

"That's nonsense," Jeff said, stepping out into the fray; a painted warrior. "One doesn't have to be a certain age to know how to love."

I grinned, "Jeff…"

My father sighed – one of those deep, parental sighs – and said, "Look, I believe you… But you're too young to be throwing your life away on-"

"I am _not_ throwing my life away!" I said furiously. "Remus has always been good to me-"

Mora's unevenly waxed eyebrows rose, "Always? Are you implying that you two carried on an _inappropriate_ relationship while you were in school, Violet?"

I blushed feverishly, "Well-"

"Shit, you really have lost your mind," said Mrs. O'Grady.

"T-t-that's s-s-sick!" Ms. McGuff agreed. "You should be a-a-ashamed of yourself, V-violet!"

"That doesn't matter!" I screamed. I closed my eyes, taking a few deep breaths and considering my next words very carefully before I continued. "It doesn't matter how it all got started… I'm in love with him; he makes me feel… safe."

"That's ironic," Remus said dryly.

I shot him an angry glare, "You're supposed to be on my side, remember?"

A light, airy laugh pierced the air, and when we all spun around, there was Nana; trying to get through on her walker, which was decorated with reflectors, a rearview mirror, and a bike horn.

_Oh no…_ I thought.

But all she did was laugh and say, "You're all acting like children… Now get out of my way; I am ready for bed."

Wordlessly, we all moved aside, clearing enough space for Nana and her walker to push through. It seemed like ages before she was far enough down the hallway that we could continue the battle. It was like Christmas in the trenches; no one would make a move until she had passed.

"Enough of this!" Mora shouted, more than happy to strike first. She placed her empty glass on the table so roughly that I thought for a moment she might shatter it. "This may be your house now, Violet, but that doesn't mean _we_ have to live here!"

My father cleared his throat, "Mora, please, be reasonable-"

"I am being _very_ reasonable, Roland!" she said. "If your whore-daughter wants to act like an adult, then she can make an adult decision."

Lupin pushed past me, his hair falling out of place as he did so. My heart leapt into my throat as I watched him point his wand at my stepmother, who backed up against the wall with fright.

"You can say whatever you want about me," he said darkly. "But I will _not_ stand by and let you say such horrible things about Violet."

Her eyes widened, and her face – which had previously been blazing red with anger and drink – turned as white as a sheet of paper. "Y-you can't threaten me!"

"Remus, she isn't worth it," I said, gently tugging on his arm. "If she doesn't like it, she can leave." I looked up at the opposing side, knowing that this very well could be the last time I spoke to them. "You can all leave, if that's what you think is best; but Remus isn't going _anywhere_."

Lupin lowered his wand, and together we stared at the huge army in front of us, eager to see how they would react. My heart pounded in my ears; I was afraid that I might not be able to hear anyone who did speak.

Finally, Bert – who was usually a bit passive – was the first to respond to the ultimatum. He took off his cap, placed it on the front desk, and left without a word; presumably to pack up his things and leave.

Mrs. O'Grady was next. She looked at me with her big brown eyes, mouthed the words, _"I'm sorry"_, and followed after Bert.

"C-come on, dear," Ms. McGuff said, holding out her bony hand to her daughter. "We're leaving."

_Lutie…_ I thought, my breath catching in my throat. She was like a sister; losing her would be the most difficult. Some of my earliest memories were of holding Lutie right after she was born. When I first left for Hogwarts, I cried on the platform because she couldn't come along with me. Watching her leave for good would kill me inside.

"No," Lutie said, surprising everyone, even – no, especially – me.

Ms. McGuff cleared her throat, "L-lutie, _come on_. We have to pack."

"I'm not going anywhere," Lutie said, stepping up so she was standing next to me; the lieutenant who showed up just in time.

I tried to hold myself back, but a few tears managed to escape anyway. I wiped them away quickly, "Lutie…"

"How can you do this?" Ms. McGuff said, looking quite betrayed. "Aren't you frightened?"

"Are you kidding?" said Lutie. "I'm about to piss my pants! But…" she paused, looking Lupin up and down. "If Violet says he's safe, then I believe her." She leaned into me and whispered, "He _is_ safe, right?"

I nodded, "As long as he takes his potion in the week leading up to the full moon, yes."

"Right," Lutie said, nodding back. "Don't you trust her, Mum? Besides; we don't have anywhere else to go…"

_Come on, Sarah,_ my mind whispered. _Please…_

Mrs. McGuff gulped, looking back and forth between me and my stepmother, who was fuming. Slowly, as if she was considering each step very carefully, Sarah McGuff crossed over to our side.

"I trust Violet…" she said, holding onto her daughter's hand. Lutie – for once – didn't protest. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Carroll."

Mora didn't say anything; she was too angry to form a complete sentence. I turned to face my friends, who had been whispering amongst themselves in a little encampment behind us. They all looked up, as if they could feel my eyes on them.

"What about you?" I asked, almost afraid to find out which side they would take. "What are you going to do?"

"Well," Aria said, clearing her throat. "We've been talking it over, and-"

"We just want what's best for our Vi-Vi," Ashley said. I could tell by her tone that she was still a little upset about the way I pushed her away at the station, when she had tried to keep me from seeing Remus.

"And we've come to the conclusion," Jeff said, pausing dramatically before he finished. "That if you think Professor Lu-Lu is the man for you, we support your decision."

Remus buried his face in his hands, "_Please_ stop calling me that…"

Aria smiled, "We didn't mean to be so… prejudice, my dear. We were just worried about you. But if you say that he's safe, we believe you."

"I have had _enough_ of this!" Mora snarled, breaking up what would have otherwise been a perfect moment. "Come on, Roland; we're packing our things!"

My father looked utterly terrified, "But-"

"Now!" she screamed, right in his face.

He looked back and forth between his child and his wife; I knew what his choice would be before he even opened his mouth. "I'm sorry, Violet…" he said before he followed Mora upstairs.

Uncle Jack – who had been abnormally quite up until now – burst into laughter. He slapped his large knee, as if he had just seen the most amusing thing in the entire world. "Good show!"

I giggled nervously, "Uncle Jack…"

"I'm afraid I've misjudged you, Lupin," he said, holding out his beefy hand. "I've been trying to get Mora to leave for _years_; you haven't even lived here a whole _day_ and already she's packing! I think the two of us are going to get along wonderfully; you have my blessing."

"Um… Thank you, Mr. Carroll," Remus said, carefully shaking my uncle's hand, as if he were afraid it was some sort of trap.

"Please, Mr. Carroll is my _father_," said Uncle Jack. "You may call me Jack; that is if you don't mind if I call you Remus."

"No," he said, soaking up this first hint of approval like a sponge. "I don't mind at all."

"I can't believe Dad's leaving," I said, sitting down at the front desk – _my_ desk, now. It was a bit of a struggle to pull myself into the tall chair; I finally understood how Flitwick felt.

Uncle Jack sighed, "Roland is bloody pushover. He'll be back, mark my words."

"Oh, I know that," I said, pulling the big logbook out of the drawer. "I just hoped that maybe he'd grow a backbone and defend his own daughter."

"I can't believe she talked about you like that," Remus said.

"I'm surprised she went that light on me," I sighed, opening the book, "We've never gotten along. Ms. McGuff?"

She jumped at the sound of my voice; Ms. McGuff usually operated under the radar. She held her hand over her heart, "Yes, Miss Carroll?"

"Could you please put fresh sheets in rooms 205, 208, 209, and… 313?" I requested, labeling those rooms on the chart in the logbook. Ashley would be in room 208, because it had extra storage space, which she would no doubt need, and because I knew she would want to be near Jeff, who was in room 209. Room 313 had a good view of the garden, something I knew Aria would appreciate. I put Lupin in room 205 because it was _my_ favorite room.

"Yes, Miss Carroll," she said, scampering off to perform her housekeeping duties.

I closed the logbook and slid it back into place; I decided wait and see if Mrs. O'Grady, Bert, or even the Keats family – whom had moved out before graduation – would have a change of heart before I erased them from the chart.

"Thanks," I said, looking up at my friends. "For standing up to me, I mean."

"I think this whole thing is sick, perverted, and completely wrong," Lutie said flatly, stomping off to our room.

Jeff chuckled, "Isn't she silly?"

Ashley nodded, "The silliestestest; no doubt about it!"

"I have to admit, she's right," Uncle Jack sighed, wiping his forehead with his handkerchief. "The age difference is a little… Well, quite frankly, it _does_ make me a little uncomfortable..."

I had to fight back the urge to roll my eyes, _Not this again…_

"Don't worry," said Jeff. "Professor Lu-Lu is the old-fashioned sort. He takes good care of our Vi-Vi; younger men just don't understand her."

_Why did I ask them to move in here?_ I wondered, resting my head on the desk.

Remus groaned, "I can assure you, Mr. Carroll, I love your niece very much. I wish I had more to offer her…"

_That's more than enough,_ I thought, smiling warmly. _I love you too, Remus Lupin…_

"Come _on_, you stupid girl!" Mora screamed, tugging Coral – quite roughly – down the stairs. The tiny toddler was bawling and doing her best to free herself.

Coral's eyes lit up when she saw me, "Vi-et! Vi-et!"

"Coral," I whimpered, rushing towards her. She had never called me by my name before…

"Stay _away_ from my daughter, witch!" Mora spat at me. A cold drop of her saliva landed on my cheek, sending shivers down my spine. "Roland, _please_ take her! She won't stop squirming!"

"R-right," he said, scooping Coral up into his free arm. He tugged a rather large duffle bag with the other. Coral stopped her struggling, but continued to cry and holler.

"We'll be sending someone after the rest of our belongings later this week," Mora informed me as she struggled with the door and her suitcase. No one made a move to help her.

What she said didn't register. My heart had turned to stone in my chest; cold, hard marble that was weighing down my body.

"Coral…" I said quietly. That had been Mora's ace in the hole the entire time. It was stupid of me to think that she didn't have one; a last way to hurt me as much as she possibly could before she was out of my life forever.

Mora flashed her most evil smirk at me as she closed the front door behind my father. I could still hear my sister crying; I stood there and listened until the sound faded away completely.

"Coral…" I repeated. I burst into tears; now that my stepmother was gone, I was free to do so. In front of my friends and family, it was okay to show my weaknesses. They wouldn't exploit them and peck at them the way Mora did.

"I'm sorry, Violet," Remus said, placing his hand on my shoulder. "This is my fault…"

"This is _not_ your fault," I said, unable to resist the need to fall into his arms. His tweed suit was as itchy as always, and it was even more uncomfortable when the fabric was soaked with my tears, but I didn't care. I just wanted him to hold me.

"How could she?" I asked. "How could she take my sister away?"

Uncle Jack sighed, "Well, Coral _is_ her daughter; God help the poor child…"

"But Mora doesn't even _like_ her!" I protested.

"But we _do_," said Uncle Jack. "And that's how people like Mora operate; she'll take the things you care about most, even if she doesn't want them, because she knows that'll hurt you."

"That's awful…" Ashley said, sounding as if she would burst into tears along with me.

Jeff whistled, "What a bitch…"

"Yeah," I sniffled. "What a bitch…"


	48. Chapter 48

After everyone was settled into their rooms, I slipped off to mine. Lutie was already sleeping – or at least pretending to sleep so she didn't have to talk to me – so I had to tread quietly through my routine. I put on my nightgown, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and brushed my hair.

_You did all you could do,_ I told myself as I watched myself brush my dark auburn hair in the vanity mirror. I still wasn't used to my new haircut; I always wanted to brush more hair than I actually had. _Besides, Dad isn't going to be able to stay away forever. He'll come around… maybe…_

"Knock knock knock!" Jeff sang, dancing into the room quite gracefully. "There she is!"

I smiled, - how could you _not_ smile at the sight of a man with curlers in his hair? – but my voice sounded glum when I greeted him. "Hi, Jeff."

"Awwww, why is my Vi-Vi so down in the dumps?" he cooed, sitting down next to me on the tiny bench, which was probably meant for children.

I sighed, putting the brush down, "Well, watching half of your family walk out on you is a tad depressing."

"Bah, who needs them?" Jeff said, draping his arm across my shoulder. "If they're gonna act like that, we're all better off without them."

"I guess…" I sighed. "But I'm going to miss them…"

"You won't be missing them for long," said Jeff. He wagged his eyebrows at our reflections, as if he was checking himself out.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "Of course I'll miss them, Jeff. I grew up with Bert and Mrs. O'Grady… I don't know if I'll ever be able to find someone to take their jobs…"

"You're going to have other things on your mind," he said. He still hadn't stopped wagging his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes, "For example…?"

"Your long, lusty nights with Professor Lu-Lu," he said. "Duh."

"Jeff!" I gaped, blushing like a maniac.

Confirming my suspicions about her true state of consciousness, Lutie sat up in bed, "That is _sick,_ Jeffery."

"No, it isn't," he giggled. "Oh Lutie, you're so blind to the ways of love. Perhaps someday, when you're older-"

"I'll still think it's disgusting," she said. "Violet, he's _old_!"

"Hey, that's not nice," Jeff said, crossing his arms. "Old men need lovin', too."

Lutie shivered, "So why can't he find some old lady to… for that kind of stuff?"

"Because," Jeff said, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. "Professor Lu-Lu doesn't need anyone else. He's got Vi-Vi; who is beautiful, young, yet has the tastes of an eighty year old, eager to learn _and_ benefit from his experience-"

"Okay, that's enough," I said, pushing Jeff off of me. He caught himself before he landed on the floor, trying to make it look like his little maneuver had been intentional.

"Yes," Lutie agreed. "I think I'm going to puke…"

Jeff cleared his throat, dusting himself off, "At any rate, you're not planning to wear _that _to bed, are you?"

"Wear what?" I asked nervously.

He smacked his forehead, "That… _atrocity_."

I looked down at my fuzzy flannel nightgown, "What's wrong with it?"

"Flannel nightgowns are like… an impenetrable fortress to men," Jeff explained. "They're damn near impossible to take off. You might as well hang a 'do not enter' sign between your legs."

"Well, that doesn't matter," I said, still unable to convince my blush to die down. I sat up straight and placed my hands in my lap. "I think I'm going to sleep in here tonight."

"What?" Jeff said, looking very disapointed. "Why?"

I sighed, "Because, I think we're both very tired. After all that's happened today, I think he'd like a little… space."

"No!" said Jeff. "No! No! No! That's all wrong!"

I gulped, "I-i-it is?"

"Of course it is!" he said. "Don't you know anything? I thought you were supposed to be smart…"

"What am I supposed to do, then?" I asked, starting to grow impatient. Yet, I was strangely curious…

"You're supposed to throw yourself at him, of course!" said Jeff, as if that was the only logical answer; and perhaps it was. "You're supposed to march your cute little tush over there, tell him you're madly in love with him, and then let him do with you as he pleases!"

"Ewww!" Lutie shrieked, diving back under her blankets as if she were truly frightened. "That is _so_ nasty! Ewww!"

"What?" Jeff said innocently. "That's how you're supposed to do it. Trust me, I know."

"W-well…" I stammered, running my shaky hands through my hair nervously. I didn't want to admit how… _appealing_ I found Jeff's suggestion, especially with Lutie sitting right there. "Do you think he'd really like that?"

Jeff nodded, "He'd _love_ it. Who wouldn't?"

"Right," I nodded. "That does seem… romantic, in its own way…"

"But," said Jeff. "As your mother, I simply cannot allow you to leave this room without the proper apparel. Tell me, Vi-Vi, where's that sexy little number I got you for Christmas? You do remember the one I mean, don't you?"

I groaned; yes, I indeed remembered. I pointed to my wardrobe, "It's in there."

Jeff giggled impishly as he dug through the wardrobe, pausing suddenly when he pulled out the skimpy item of clothing; a lacy, semi-see through negligee.

"Violet," he scolded. "You haven't been wearing this?"

"Of course I haven't!" I said. "Why _would_ I?"

"To please your man!" said Jeff. He shook his head, clearly disappointed in me. "For goodness sake, you didn't even cut the tags off…"

I swallowed, "You don't expect me to wear that _now,_ do you?"

"Of course you're wearing it now," he said, snapping off the tag before he tossed me the lingerie. "You don't have anything else suitable. Quite frankly, I am shocked that you – Miss Responsibility, who _always_ plans ahead – are so unprepared for this. I would have thought you'd at least have a whole drawer full of sexy panties by now. Poor Professor Lu-Lu…"

I held out the negligee, blushing even more when I imagined myself in it. "I don't know… What if he laughs at me?"

"He isn't going to laugh at you," Jeff assured me. "He'll _adore_ you."

I smiled, "You really think so?"

"Violet, this is so perverted," Lutie said, pulling down the covers so I could see her face. "I can't believe you're going along with this…"

"He's right, Lutie," I sighed, suddenly having a very strong urge to annoy her back. "You really don't understand love…"

She growled, retreating back to her hiding spot under the covers.

Jeff sighed, "Children… Well, I'll leave you alone, Vi-Vi. Have a good night; I'm sure you'll have all kinds of fun."

"Thanks, Jeff," I said, ushering him towards the door. "Sleep tight."

I shut the door behind him, then took a deep breath. I held out the skimpy dress in front of me; my hands were trembling just _thinking_ about parading around in such a getup. I was usually such a modest dresser…

_Would Remus _really_ like something like this?_ I asked myself. _He's usually a bit more old-fashioned when it comes to romance… But then again, he's still a man…_

"You're not seriously going to go through with that, are you?" Lutie asked. "You were just playing along to get the homo to leave you alone, right?"

"I _was_ on the fence," I said. "But now I think I _will._"

Lutie gagged, "Violet!"

"I'm changing now," I informed her as I started to unbutton my nightgown. I now understood why Jeff thought these things were impenetrable. "Unless you want to check me out, I'd turn around."

Lutie let out another growl as she turned around, pulling the sheets up over her head, "You're so fucking weird now…"

It took me a few minutes to change, and a few seconds to realize that I did _not_ want to walk down the hallway in a see through dress that just barely covered my ass. Knowing Jeff wouldn't approve, but unable to come up with another alternative, I covered myself with my old bathrobe. I grabbed a violet from my bouquet – which had been placed in a vase on my nightstand – and tucked it into my hair before I took off.

"Relax," I said aloud. The closer I got to Lupin's room, the shakier I got. "Relax; it's not like you haven't done this before…"

The door to room 205 was closed when I arrived. I took one of my deep breaths before I knocked in the door, "Remus? Are you in?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes!" I heard him say. "Come in."

"Relax…" I repeated one last time before I opened the door and slipped inside. The room was decorated with gorgeous antique furniture, and a faded paisley rug covered most of the aged wooden floors. A roaring fire – which was the only source of light in the room – burned in the handsome brick fireplace. Remus sat on the bed, looking like a perfect addition to the room in his usual attire. He was back at his crossword puzzle.

I couldn't help but smile, "Hi…"

"Good evening," he greeted, not looking up from the crossword.

I giggled, closing the door behind me, "How's that going?"

"I'm almost done…" he said, tapping his chin with his pen. Finally, he looked up at me, "Perhaps you can assist me with these last two? Crosswords are a good way to keep your mind off of… things."

"Sure, okay," I said, sitting down next to him on the bed. I tucked my legs underneath me, and – trying to be seductive – I rested my head on his shoulder.

He didn't seem to notice what I was attempting to do. Instead, he pointed at one of the blanks, "This one's been bugging me all day. I _know_ that I know it, but I just can't remember exactly… But it seems right up your alley."

_Jeff said to let Remus do as he pleases with me,_ I thought, looking over the question. _But I don't think this is what he had in mind…_

"_All told, how many novels did the Bronte sisters write?_" I read. "Let me think…" I counted out the number of blanks while I tried to think of all the Bronte novels I'd read. "I think there are seven, and that fits with the number of spaces left…"

"I could have sworn there were a lot more of them…" Remus said, scribbling my answer onto the page. "But that fits, so we'll go with that. Thank you, Violet."

"You're welcome," I said, pressing my lips against his neck. I reached over and started tugging at his tie.

"Violet…" he sighed, placing his hand over mine, halting my progress.

"What?" I asked, my voice teetering on the edge of panic; the same sort of panic I felt when Remus told me he was breaking it off. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," he said quickly. He lifted my quivering hand up to his mouth and kissed my fingers, as if to ease my panic. "It's nothing like that…"

"Then what is it?" I asked patiently. "Is something wrong?"

"No, there's nothing… _wrong,_ exactly…" he said nervously. He placed the pen and puzzle on the bedside table, "I just feel… guilty…"

I caressed his face, "Why? Because of what happened downstairs?"

He nodded, "I can't honestly expect you to choose me over your family… I understand if you want me to leave."

"They left, Remus," I said. "You didn't make force them to leave. That was their choice."

"They left _because_ of me," he said somberly. "I'm used to it, but that doesn't mean you should have to suffer."

"They left because they're ignorant," I insisted.

"Or because they're smart," he said, burying his face in his hands helplessly. "You'd be better off if you sent me packing right now."

"No… I'd be completely miserable," I said, nuzzling his neck affectionately. He still hadn't shaved, but I didn't care. "You can't leave, Remus; I need you… I love you…"

"I'm not going to leave you," he assured me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "I've already told you; I don't think I have it in me to do that again. I'll stay with you until you as long as you'll have me."

I snorted, "You'll be here for an awful long time, then. I hope you're up for it."

Remus grinned, tilting my face up, "Nothing would make me happier."

I'm not sure who initiated, – it very well could have been both of us – but the space between our lips quickly became nonexistent. His tongue explored my mouth quite thoroughly, as if it was checking to make sure nothing had changed while we were apart. His facial hair tickled more than ever, and it was a struggle to keep myself from laughing while I returned to loosening his tie.

He pulled out of the kiss, once again using his hand to prevent me from getting it off. He sighed, "Violet…"

There was that panic again. I tried to swallow my fear, but it ended up lodged in my throat, making my words come out croaky. "What? What's wrong?"

"I just… Feel like I'm taking advantage of you," he said. "You're letting me stay here, without paying rent, and now here you are, in my room…" he stopped, clearing his throat. A tiny blush had crept over his face. "It doesn't seem fair…"

_He's so sweet,_ I thought, looking up at him. "You are not taking advantage of me, Remus. I want you here. I… I want _you._"

He cupped my face in his hands, smiling at me lovingly before he kissed me. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him, content to enjoy the feeling of his lips on mine and my body pressed tightly against his. I was so distracted by these sensations I hardly noticed my surroundings; my robe was already half off before I realized he had even untied it.

"Violet…" he breathed, looking at me with disbelief once the ratty old garment had been removed. I couldn't tell if it was the good kind of shock or the bad kind.

My face turned bright red, and I turned away instantly, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. _I knew this was a bad idea… I can't believe I let Jeff talk me into this…_

I felt his hands on my face again, and when he turned my face back, I wasn't sure what to expect. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he kissed me again. He pulled my tongue into his mouth without any of the usual coaxing, – not that I needed it – and he pulled me close before rolling over on top of me. One of his hands played with my hair, and the other groped at my chest gently; I could feel his coarse skin through the thin, lacy fabric.

_I should listen to Jeff more often,_ I thought, moaning quietly. Almost instinctively, I wrapped one of my legs around him. I decided not to go for the tie again; that seemed to be a jinx.

After what felt like hours, the kiss ended. Remus rested his forehead against mine, looking into my eyes while we caught our breath.

"I love you…" I panted.

"I love you, too," he said, kissing me briefly. He straightened my hair, touching the flower I had tucked behind my ear with the tips of his fingers. "I hope you weren't planning on getting any sleep tonight, Violet. If you were, I'm afraid you'll be terribly disappointed."

"R-remus!" I stammered. My face might as well have been on fire.

"What?" he chuckled. "I do believe _you_ were the one who told me that if I came to live here, I could make love to you whenever I wanted."

"And weren't _you_ the one who told me that there is more to life than sex?" I questioned, trying to sound playful. I'm sure my shaky voice ruined the affect, as always.

Remus, however, seemed to understand what I was going for. He laughed, burying his face in the crook of my neck. His mustache rubbed up against my skin when he spoke, "I was lying."


	49. Chapter 49

I woke up very slowly, having to forcibly drag myself out of my dreams. It took me several moments to sort out which sensory details were real, and which ones were left over from bazaar, lucid dreams I could hardly remember. Simultaneously, I pried open my heavy eyelids and sat up in bed, holding the down-comforter tightly around me. The roaring fire had been reduced to ashes – with no one around to babysit it while Remus and I slept - and now the sun was shining brightly through the lacy curtains.

_It was there when I first fell asleep, too,_ I realized. _We didn't even fall asleep until the sun came up..._

Even though I was fully awake, the whole night was just a blur in my mind. An incredibly romantic and wonderful blur, but a muddled haze all the same. I couldn't remember how many times the cycle repeated itself; we would make love, I would start to doze off, but before I could fall asleep, Remus would kiss me, and we were suddenly back where we started. It could have happened two, three, or even a hundred times; until the sun started to peek over the horizon and neither of us could keep our eyes open for another second.

I glanced down at Remus, who was laying face-down on the bed, still sleeping soundly. _He must be exhausted,_ I thought, smiling while I played with his graying brown hair. _I don't think he's had a good night's rest since he left Hogwarts. I don't think I've ever seen him look quite that tired before…_

I looked at my reflection in the large, full-body mirror, and realized that I didn't exactly look springtime fresh, myself. On the contrary, I looked utterly ravished; my hair was a mess, -sticking out in almost every imaginable direction - and my tired eyes were still only half opened. At first, I thought I was coming down with the chicken pox, but I quickly realized that the red spots on my neck and shoulders were hickies. I blushed, gently touching the tips of my fingers to the mark at the base of my neck. I felt strangely proud of my new welts…

I felt the sheets rustling, and I heard Remus groan as he too forced himself to rejoin the world of the conscious. He rolled over, propping himself up on his elbows. He glanced around the room – taking in the details of his surroundings, the way I had – before his tired blue eyes finally rested on me. His messy hair fell out of place as he smiled; a broad, giddy kind of smile, with just a hint of satisfaction lingering below the surface.

"G'morning," he yawned.

"I think it might be the afternoon, actually," I said, surprised that my voice sounded cracked and tired. My mouth was dry from all of the… um, kissing.

"Oh, right…" he said, groaning as he sat up. He wrapped his strong, bare arms around me. He stared at our reflection in the mirror, looking quite puzzled.

"What is it?" I said, looking up at him.

"Did I really do all this?" he asked me, touching the red love-marks gently, as if he were afraid my skin would fall off if he applied too much pressure.

I nodded, my cheeks burning, "Yes, you did."

He swallowed, and I watched his reflection blush as kissed every mark, while I trembled in his arms. Once he was finished, he tilted my face up and planted one last kiss on my forehead before he pulled me close.

"I'm sorry for being so… overzealous," he whispered into my ear. "I don't know what got into me last night; I couldn't keep myself off of you…"

"You don't have to apologize," I assured him. My voice sounded raspy and shaky; I hoped I wasn't giving the wrong impression. "I… Remus… I love being with you."

"And I love being with you," he said, giving me a brief squeeze. "It's so nice; not having to hold back anymore. I can _hold_ you…"

I nodded, curling up next to him. I pillowed my head on his chest, closing my eyes. If I really tried, I could hear his heart beating just below the surface of his skin. "Yeah, it is nice…"

I felt him trying to straighten up my hair, only to have his finger's caught in the ratty, tangled mess. He laughed quietly to himself, "Violet, have a look at this."

"Hmm?" I mumbled, opening my eyes. I followed his gaze, and found myself looking at our reflection in that large mirror once again. Despite the fact that we both looked like hell, I couldn't keep myself from smiling at the sight of the two of us together. "They look very happy," I said.

"Yes, they do," he sighed. "They really do… But I can't help but wonder; how'd that flabby, sickly old man end up with such a beautiful young woman?"

"He isn't _that_ flabby," I sighed, looking up at Remus. "I think he looks warm and loving and handsome; he's probably very kind to her. She's lucky to have someone like that."

"I'm sure he loves her very much," he said, tightening his clasp on me. "He's probably terrified that she'll leave him for someone younger, or someone who could take better care of her."

"That's nonsense," I said. "Just look at her; she _adores_ that man. She isn't going anywhere. It's defiantly more likely that he'll get bored of her."

"I doubt that," he said, shaking his head. "She's probably the best thing that's ever happened to him."

My heart skipped a beat, "Do you really mean that, Remus?"

"Are we done talking about ourselves in the third person?" he asked, smiling down at me fondly. "If we are, I'd like to kiss you."

I nodded frantically, more than ready to return to the first person and even more eager to feel his mouth on mine. His lips were awfully dry, - much dryer than usual – but that didn't make the moment any less incredible. His tongue rubbed mine softly, and before I knew it, I found myself wanting to slip back into bed with him.

My fantasy might have come true, if we weren't interrupted by a loud, low growl. We both backed out of the kiss, slowly and awkwardly, staring at each other blankly. Neither of us said a word for several moments.

At last, my voice shaking, I asked, "Was that my stomach, or yours?"

"I'm not sure," said Remus. His nervous smile, however, suggested that he was indeed the culprit. "It was probably mine; I haven't had a good meal in days."

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" I asked, though I wasn't the least bit surprised. "You must be starving."

He shrugged, "It just… didn't seem important."

I smiled, – how could you not smile at him? – scooping my robe off of the floor, putting it on reluctantly. "Let's get cleaned up, then I'll see if we have anything good to eat around here."

I couldn't keep my eyes off of him; I nearly ran into the door because I wasn't watching where I was going. I tried to laugh off my clumsy moment, - a task Remus was able to accomplish with ease – but I found myself blushing with embarrassment as I wandered out into the hallway and down to my room.

_My old room,_ I thought, peeking inside to make sure Lutie wasn't around. _I probably won't be sleeping in here anymore._ I couldn't decide if that thought was depressing or exciting. Perhaps it was a little of both.

When I saw the coast was clear, I snatched up my shower gear and trotted off to the bathroom Lutie and I shared; Mora and Coral had used that bathroom as well, before they left. I tried not to think about that while I hurried through my routine. It took me a while to find an outfit that would inconspicuously cover all of my hickies, but at last I decided on a blue skirt and a creamy white sweater.

"There, that doesn't look like I'm trying to hide anything," I said, looking at myself in the mirror while I adjusted my headband. I nodded, pleased with my clever maneuver.

"Oh ho _ho,_" Jeff cooed as I entered the kitchen. He, Ashley, and Aria appeared to be building a house-of-cards on the kitchen table. "Look who we have here."

"Good morning," I said, smiling at them.

"Good _afternoon_," Aria corrected. "You've already slept half the day away."

"Such a lazy girl," Ashley said, turning her nose up at me. "I was up at eleven o'clock, myself."

I had to swallow my laughter, "You're one of those early-to-bed, early-to-rise sorts, huh?"

Ashley nodded proudly, "Yup yup!"

"Did you sleep well, dear?" Aria asked, gently stacking another card onto their house. Those long, careful fingers could stack a tower of cards up to the clouds if they really wanted to.

I nodded, "Yeah, I slept pretty good."

"I'm sure you did," Jeff said, wagging his eyebrows suggestively. "Did Professor Lu-Lu enjoy his little surprise?"

"What surprise?" Ashley asked, looking very concerned. "Vi-Vi, what the devil is he talking about?"

My cheeks reddened, "I have no idea, Ash. He likes to make up perverted stories, you know that."

"That's alright; you don't have to answer my question," Jeff sighed. "I already know the truth. You're much too easy to read, Vi."

"What do you mean by that?" I demanded.

"Well, the fact that you're blushing is a dead giveaway," he said matter-of-factly. "And then there's that sweater."

"What about my sweater?" I asked defensively. "There's nothing wrong with this sweater! In fact, you're the one that helped me pick it out."

Jeff smirked, "It's summer. The only people who wear sweaters during the summer are hiding hickies."

Ashley gasped, "Vi-Vi! Have you fallen victim to your lust yet again? Please, say it isn't so!"

"You're seriously surprised?" Aria said, giggling to herself. "Personally, I'd be astonished if she _didn't_. She is in love, after all."

"I-i-it's none of your business!" I stammered. "I'll wear a sweater until August if I feel like it!"

"Tisk tisk," Aria said, shaking her head. "So defensive…"

"Well, there _is_ one way to know for _sure_…" Jeff said, scratching his chin thoughtfully. The three of them looked at each other, communicating with those mind-powers I was almost positive they possessed.

"W-what?" I gulped nervously.

"It seems awful forceful," Aria said skeptically.

"But as her parents, we have a right to know," said Ashley.

"I don't like where this is going," I said hurriedly. "What are you planning?"

There was no verbal answer, but it wasn't long before I knew exactly what they were up to. Before I could fully comprehend what was going on, Jeff had me restrained – I had just enough fight in me to kick and flail until their house of cards tumbled down – and Ashley was tugging down the neck of my sweater, revealing my hickies for the entire world to see.

"I'm so disappointed…" she said, straightening my sweater.

"This is ridiculous!" I snapped. "Besides, Ashley, you have _no_ room to talk! You have hickies all the time!"

"Don't take that tone with us," Jeff scolded from behind me. "If you're going to live in our house, you'll have to play by our rules."

"It's _my_ house," I reminded him. "And let's say – just for a second – that the three of you _do_ have some sort of authority over me. You'd be the worst parents ever, because you can't even agree on what the rules _are_; Ashley wants me to wear a chastity belt, Aria encourages me to follow my heart, and Jeff comes into my room at night and _demands_ I put on some skimpy getup and go have the time of my life."

"Jeffey!" Ashley growled, stomping her foot. "How _dare_ you go behind our backs like that?"

"What?" Jeff said innocently. "Our daughter's young and in love; she should get to enjoy it."

"I suppose…" Ashley said, still looking doubtful. "But I think we're going to have to have a talk with Professor Lu-Lu."

"Please don't," I said quickly. "Ashley, for the love of-"

"Hey, here's the old stud now," Jeff teased, letting go of me as Remus entered the kitchen. He was clean-shaven now – with the exception of his mustache - and wearing a fresh – though still exceedingly tattered – gray suit.

He looked up from tying his plain black tie, "Hmmm?"

"You and Vi-Vi are so adorable," said Jeff. "Playing innocent, like none of us know what's _really_ going on."

"What _is_ going on?" Remus asked, looking quite confused.

"Violet was just showing off her lovely love-nibbles," Aria explained, picking up the cards we had knocked over. I shot a quick glare in her direction, but that didn't faze her one bit.

"Well done, sir," Jeff said, nudging Lupin with his elbow. "I bet you're feeling pretty good about yourself, eh?"

Remus, however, didn't look proud. He looked completely mortified. "Violet…" he breathed, the last traces of color vanishing from his face. "I know you're glad that we don't have to… Um, sneak around anymore, but… Do you have to go around _flaunting _it?"

"It's not like I did it on purpose…" I grumbled, staring at my shoes.

"Awww, he's modest!" Jeff squealed. "Isn't that just the sweetest thing?"

"I don't think so," Ashley said, turning up her nose. "Professor Lu-Lu-"

"Please," he said. "I told you not to call me that. Besides, I'm no longer a professor."

"Fine, just 'Lu-Lu', then," said Ashley. She cleared her throat, trying to create a professional aura for herself. As always, she failed. Her pigtails and chubby cheeks made it almost impossible to see her as an adult. "I must say, I don't think I quite approve of you being so rough with my daughter."

"You don't, do you?" he said, grinning at me mischievously. So much for Mr. Modest.

"I'm afraid I'll have to side with Ashley on this one," Aria said, placing her hand on her shorter counterpart's shoulder. "As her name suggests, Violet is as delicate as a beautiful flower. She must be handled with extreme care."

_Do I really look that frail?_ I asked myself, feeling a little self-conscious.

"Hmmm, is that so…" Remus said, as if he were truly considering what Aria had just told him. His smug smile quickly returned, however, as he wrapped his arms around me and tugged me over. He rested his chin on my shoulder, so our faces were side by side. "And what if I don't want to be gentle with her?"

I blushed feverishly, _I can't believe we're having this conversation… _

"You have to!" Ashley pouted. She was even able to muster up a few of her fake tears. "She's very fragile; you might shatter her into a million pieces! And then we'd _all_ be sad!"

"I'm not delicate," I argued. "I'm just as sturdy as anyone else."

"You don't need to worry," he assured them, ignoring my brief protest and kissing my cheek softly, as if I really would shatter into a million pieces if he wasn't careful. "I take good care of your daughter; or rather, she takes care of me."

"Violet!" Lutie bellowed, pushing through the swinging door, as violet as a hurricane. "Where the bloody hell have you been?"

"She was curled up with her lover," Jeff explained, causing me to blush even more. He pointed to Remus and I, like Lutie needed help spotting us. "Just look at 'em; aren't they sweet together?"

"It's just about the grossest thing I've ever seen," Lutie said, not impressed.

Remus sighed, standing up straight. He kept his arms wrapped around my waist, a small display of affection that I was grateful for. Lutie's words had the power to hurt me in a way no other words could; it was a power I don't think she even knew existed. With Remus there, I felt like I had an extra layer of protection from her razor-sharp tongue.

"What do you need, Lutie?" I asked, surprised at how jagged my own words sounded. I think they might have cut up my gums on the way out.

If they did have any sharpness in them, Lutie didn't seem to notice. Her social-shields were so much stronger than mine; some of the strongest I'd ever seen. "I'm hungry," she said. "When are we going to have lunch? It's already past one o'clock."

"I was thinking about making scrambled eggs for Remus and myself," I said, relieved that her complaint was something so minor. "I can fix some for you, if you like."

She rolled her eyes, "Fine, whatever."

"Could I trouble you for a serving?" Aria asked meekly.

"Oh, and me!" Ashley said, jumping up and down. "I want some, too!"

"I suppose I'll jump on the bandwagon," Jeff sighed. "Is there any way I can persuade you frying up some bacon?"

"Ohhh, and toast!" Ashley added. "With grape jam!"

"Hold on," I said, stopping them before someone suggested I come up with a ten course meal. "Let's get one thing straight; I am _not_ making special meals for you everyday-"

"Well, who else is going to do it?" Lutie asked, placing her hands on her hips. "The wolf-man scared away our cook, remember?"

I swallowed, "Oh, right…"

"And the bellhop, and some of the tenants. You'd better have a game plan, Violet," said Lutie. "Otherwise, we're all screwed."

I suddenly felt a huge weight on my shoulders; a weight even heavier than the one that had attached itself to me during my N.E.W.T.s. I realized suddenly that this time, I really had bitten off more than I could chew. I didn't know a thing about running a boarding house. I had pretty much set myself up to fail. I felt as if all the blood was draining from my face. I looked back and forth between my friends, trying to find an answer; some sort of sign that they knew what to do. But all I got were blank stares in return. I started shaking.

Lutie rolled her eyes, "Jesus Christ, I didn't mean for you to have a meltdown. I'm just saying; there's a lot of stuff that needs to be taken care of, that's all."

I nodded, "Right…"

"So… how about those eggs?" Ashley asked hesitantly.

"Is food all you think about?" Lutie snarled.

"Uh, no," Ashley said, offended by Lutie's accusation. "Sometimes I think about boys."

"That's enough of that," I said. I took several deep breaths, trying to focus. At last, just as the silence in the room was about to drive everyone insane, I finally said something. "Okay… I'll make us something to eat for lunch. Tonight, we'll order takeout, and we can all sit down and try to figure out this whole mess."


	50. Chapter 50

Author's Notes

Oh. My. God.

I cannot believe we're already at Chapter Fifty! How did I write so much, so fast? Jeez…

At any rate, thanks (again) to all the super awesome people who've written reviews. Over two hundred reviews; that makes me happy! Please, continue to enjoy reading this story, while I continue to enjoy writing it.

*

"Quit eating directly out of the carton, homo," Lutie said, smacking Jeff on the hand. "I don't want your germs."

"I am _not_ a homo!" he whined, rubbing his hand. "That hurt, Little Lutie…"

"That was the point," she said, grabbing the box Jeff had been nibbling from. No one was able to agree on a single restaurant, so when I phoned Uncle Jack and asked him to pick up something to eat on the way home, he ended up stopping in four or five different locations. He didn't seem to mind, thought. In fact, he seemed partial to the idea.

"_Mora never let us get takeout,"_ he said on the phone. "_It's no trouble at all, Violet."_

I looked down at my plate; a slice four-cheese pizza, an eggroll, and some French fries cut into the shape of a smiley face. It was defiantly a diverse meal, to say the least.

It was defiantly a diverse _group,_ for that matter: muggles and wizards, pure-bloods and muggle borns, old and young. Uncle Jack sat at the head of the table, where he could easily survey all the food he had purchased, and how much would be left for him once the rest of us had finished. Remus sat next to me, his left hand on my knee – under the table and out of sight – while his right hand fumbled with his chopsticks. Aria had already changed into her pajamas, and nibbled at her fried rice with her hair rolled up tightly into curlers. Ashley, in contrast, had just finished with her evening makeup, and was already on her third slice of pizza. Ms. McGuff poked at her chicken with a fork, and occasionally she would look up at Remus, as if she expected him to transform right then and there. Jeff, wearing his usual fabulous drag, was arguing with Lutie over who would get the only chicken leg. Nana sat off to the side with her plate in her lap, muttering darkly about queers and witchcraft and werewolves…

"Thank you very much, Mr. Carroll," Remus said, furrowing his brow when those slippery noodles didn't make it into his mouth.

He laughed, "I told you to call me Jack, old chap."

"Think I could get some of that pizza, Jackey-boy?" Jeff asked, pointing at the box.

"I told _you_ to call me Mr. Carroll," Uncle Jack said, but he winked at Jeff playfully before he passed the pizza.

I cleared my throat, "Now, if we're all-"

"Um, excuse me," a tiny voice whispered. I turned around and saw Stephen, scruffy and scrawny as ever, peeking into the kitchen. "Is it alright if I join you?"

"Of course," I said, a bit stunned to see him. I hadn't seen Stephen since I arrived; I assumed that he too had fled once he learned the truth about Lupin.

He didn't seem the slightest bit apprehensive. He even told Remus hello as he sat down and fixed himself a plate of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and crab rangoon. Perhaps he missed the memo; that can happen when you stay cooped up in your room for days on end.

"Who is this?" Ashley asked, pointing at Stephen.

"Mm," Stephen mumbled, quickly swallowing his food before he opened his mouth. "My name's Stephen Yates. Perhaps you've read one of my books?"

Ashley shook her head, "Nope; never heard of you."

"Figures," Stephen grumbled, adjusting his glasses before he returned to his plate.

I looked around, feeling very much like the leader of the new regime. I _was_ the leader of the new regime. Could I really handle something like that?

_You don't have to handle it all alone,_ I reminded myself. _All these people are here to help you._

I cleared my throat again, "Anyway, shall we get started?"

"Started with what?" Stephen asked with his mouth full. Ashley giggled uncontrollably as he nearly choked.

"We're going to… discuss a few changes," I told him. "For one, magic is no longer off limits; but I think you already knew that."

Uncle Jack laughed, "This morning, I got to read my paper in the living room _and_ I didn't have to stir my own coffee. I'd almost forgotten how much love magic."

"Just be careful with that stuff," Ms. McGuff warned. "Someone could get hurt."

"Nonsense," Uncle Jack said, wiping some ketchup off of his walrus mustache. "Magic is just as safe as any kind of muggle technology; safer, probably."

_I'm really glad Remus has a smaller mustache,_ I thought glancing up at him. Even a housewife armed with Windex wouldn't have been able to wipe the smile off of my face.

It only took him a few seconds to notice that I was staring. "What is it?" he asked, looking a little self-conscious.

"It's nothing," I said, feeling a tiny blush creep across my face. "A-at any rate," I said, forcing my attention back to the meeting. "Without the Keats, and without… my father's extra income," I got a feeling like a tiny pin was poking me in the heart when I tried to talk about my father, but I forced myself to continue. "We're going to be a little short on money. So we're all going to have to tighten our belts-"

"I could start paying rent," Uncle Jack interrupted.

I shook my head, "You're family, and I know you can't afford it."

"Of course I can afford it," he said. "Business is booming, been booming for a long time. I just didn't pay up because I knew it got under Mora's skin like a nasty wart."

I couldn't help but chuckle at that image, "Thank you, Uncle Jack. I really appreciate it."

"I'm going to try to find a job," Remus announced. "I feel terribly guilty; staying here without contributing anything."

"Good," Lutie snorted. "Just because you're banging Violet-"

I kicked her under the table, causing her to yelp with pain. My face flared with embarrassment.

"Why did you do that?" Lutie snapped, as if she had done nothing to deserve a good kick in the shin. "That really hurt!"

"You need to watch your language, dear," Ms. McGuff said, not giving off any hint of frustration. Judging by the look on her face, she was thinking the exact same thing; she just didn't have the guts to put every thought into words the way Lutie did.

"So, you two are…" Stephen trailed off, making some strange motion with his long, artistic fingers. "Like… together, for real, right?"

"Um… yeah," I said, scratching the back of my neck.

"Yes," Remus confirmed, looking at me with a tiny, mischievous smile. Under the table, his hand rubbed my leg gently, and he looked very content as he proclaimed, "We're together."

Lutie rolled her eyes, "Can we move on, _please?_"

"Oh, that reminds me!" Aria said. "May I have the floor, Violet?"

"Um… sure," I said. I picked up my eggroll and leaned back in my chair. "Whatever floats your boat and tips it over, I guess."

She giggled, sitting up straight in her chair – which was a tad too short for the table – before she spoke. "Well, I actually have two things I wanted to bring to the table. First of all, I have a business proposal."

I nibbled at the eggroll, listening intently. When I noticed she was waiting for a response, I said, "What do you mean?"

"I've always wanted to have my own fortune telling business," she said dreamily. "And I was wondering if I could set up shop in the cellar."

"You want to have your shop in my basement?" I questioned.

"Why not?" she asked. "The house is beautiful, and that will attract customers. There's a separate entrance to the cellar, so none of the boarders would be bothered by my clientele. And I thought, if you're not too busy, maybe you could brew potions for me to sell. I'd give you a cut of the profits, of course."

"Of course…" I said, running the idea through my mind. I wasn't sure how successful Aria's business would be – located in the cellar of a house that was somewhat cut off from the nearby communities – but I liked the thought of making potions for her. I would need something to do during the day; when Mora ran the house, all she did was lay around and drink her bourbon and complain. I didn't want to end up like that.

"Fortune telling?" Lutie said, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't think anyone believed in that crap anymore."

"Kind of like how no one believes in magic," I quipped. "Alright, Ari; you can use the cellar if you like. There isn't much down there, anyway."

She smiled, – Aria had such a dazzling smile – "Thanks, Vi."

"What else did you want to talk about?" Jeff asked, swallowing his mouth full of food.

Aria tapped her chin, as if she had forgotten whatever it was she wanted to say. Her green eyes lit up like headlights when she remembered, "Oh! I think I've solved our cook problem!"

"Good show, Ari!" Uncle Jack said, clapping his fat hands together. "If we had to live on takeout, we'd all go broke."

"And nothing beats a home cooked meal," Ms. McGuff said.

"Darn right," Nana said. "My poor stomach can't handle all this grease..."

"Shut up, you old bat," Lutie muttered darkly, but Nana didn't hear her. She probably wasn't able to hear most of our conversation, either, though she let on like she could.

"That's wonderful, Ari," I said, shooting Lutie another dirty look. "What's your idea?"

"I asked my parents if my favorite house elf could come stay with me," she said. "I got a reply back just a few moments ago saying that it was okay."

"Um… what's a house elf?" Ms. McGuff asked, looking a bit frightened.

"Moth is a house elf!" a high, giggling voice declared, causing all of us to jump. In a puff of white smoke, the house elf appeared, standing in the middle of our dinner table. "It's a pleasure to meet all of you, friends of Miss Tate! My name is Moth!"

Moth was one of the best dressed house elves I'd ever seen. She wore a simple, dark green jumper-dress, which could have easily belonged to a human child. Her ankles were covered by leg warmers, but she wore no shoes, and her head was covered by a black beret, which gave her an almost _avant-garde_ appearance.

"Moth," Lutie repeated, raising one of her eyebrows. "Yes, the name 'Butterfly' defiantly would have been inappropriate."

I kicked her again, "Lutie!"

"What?" she growled, trying – and failing – to hide her pain. "I was just saying-

"It's a nice to meet you, Moth," Remus said, cutting Lutie off at just the right moment.

_He's starting to figure out how we do things around here,_ I thought, smiling a little.

"The pleasure is all mine, sir," Moth said, bowing. "When Miss Tate sent word that she was in need of my help, Moth quickly packed her belongings and bid her other masters farewell."

"But what does a house elf _do_?" Stephen asked, eyeing Moth as if she were the strangest thing he had ever seen. Moth probably _was_ the strangest thing he had ever seen, I realized; outside of his own wild imagination, that is.

"Moth can do all kinds of stuff!" Moth said proudly. "But she believe Miss Tate had insinuated that you were in need of a cook, correct?"

"Yes," I nodded.

"Moth knows how to cook all kinds of things," she continued. "Spaghetti and apple pie and oatmeal and fried rice and pasta salad and tamales and seven different kinds of cake, and-"

"I think they get the picture, Moth," Aria said, giggling. She was clearly very fond of her servant. "So, what do you think?"

"I think she's the cutest little house elf I've ever seen!" Jeff squealed, pinching Moth's cheek. She squealed with delight.

"I'd hate to see what the other ones look like," Lutie grumbled.

"I think it's a fantastic idea," said Uncle Jack. To him, though, anything involving food would be considered a fantastic idea.

"How much is this going to cost?" Ms. McGuff asked skeptically.

"Why, nothing at all, ma'am," said Moth, looking a little offended by the question. "Moth is but a humble house elf. She live to serve the Tate family in any way possible. They have been very generous; Moth even have nice clothes to wear."

"Free just happens to be my favorite number," said Uncle Jack. He laughed loudly at his own joke, slapping his knee repeatedly until the fit died down. The rest of us gave him a few sympathy laughs. Ashley seemed to be the only one who found the joke funny; she nearly snorted her cola out of her nose.

"It's settled, then," I said. "Moth will take over kitchen duty."

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Ashley said, bouncing up and down. "I has an idea!"

"Alright…" I said, not really sure if she was being serious. I decided to indulge her, just in case. "What's your idea, Ashley?"

She surprised me; her idea was actually a good one. "We should put an ad in _The Daily Prophet_. Lots of graduates are probably looking for a place to stay right now."

I was almost too stunned to speak, "A newspaper ad is actually a really good idea. Why didn't I think of that?"

"I guess you still have a few things to learn from your mommy," Ashley sighed.

I rolled my eyes, "Do you think you could take care of that?"

"Of course!" Ashley said brightly. "I'll do it first thing tomorrow morning!"

"And I'll help!" said Jeff, puffing out his chest. "Together, we shall write the best newspaper ad in history!"

"Alright…" I said. "Is there anything else?"

"I don't think so," Uncle Jack said, standing up to stretch. He scratched his large, full belly and yawned loudly. "Moth, would you be so kind as to clean up this mess?"

"Of course, sir," Moth said, bowing once again. "Moth would be more than happy to."

"The kitchen is just through there," I said, pointing. "If you like, I can show you around."

"That will not be necessary," Moth said. "Moth can manage just fine on her own. You run along and relax, all of you."

"But I'm not finished yet," Jeff pouted.

"Take your time, Mr. Flanders," Moth said kindly. "Moth is a patient servant."

"So, are we done?" Lutie asked. "I have other things I could be doing, you know."

"Yes," said Ms. McGuff, though she didn't sound nearly as hostile as her daughter. "I have some laundry to finish this evening."

"I think we're finished," I sighed. "Thanks for your help, everyone."

"It's no trouble at all, Vi-Vi," said Jeff. "We're always here for you!"

"You didn't even do anything," Lutie said flatly.

"Neither did you," Jeff pointed out.

"Whatever," Lutie said, rolling her eyes before she stomped off, presumably to her room. It seemed she was becoming more reclusive as time went on.

"I apologize for my daughter's behavior," said Ms. McGuff. She was staring at her shoes again, making it impossible for us to know who she was apologizing to.

"Ah, don't fret too much about Little Lutie," Jeff said. "She's just being a rebellious teenager, that's all."

"I think I'm going to retire early," Uncle Jack declared. He gave me a pat on the back – one rough enough that I almost fell out of my chair – as he passed me.

"Goodnight," I said, watching as he disappeared through the swinging doors. I shrugged, ""Well, that went… well, I guess."

"As well as we could have reasonably expected," said Remus.

"Violet, could you please wheel me back to my room?" Nana asked politely. "I'm very tired."

"Oh, sure," I said, rushing over to the elderly woman. I pushed the wheelchair through the living room and into her bedroom; the only bedroom on the first floor, aside from the master suit - which no one had set foot in since my mother's funeral.

"Thank you, my dear," she said once we'd arrived. Her room was small, with just enough room for her single bed, dresser, and nightstand.

"You're welcome, Nana," I said, smiling at her. "Are you comfortable? Have you been doing well?"

"I'm fine," she said stubbornly. "You don't need to be worrying about me, child. But… If you don't mind, could I ask you a question?"

"Of course," I said, sitting down on the edge of her bed. Knowing she was a stickler for posture, I sat up straight and folded my hands neatly in my lap.

"That Lupin fellow…" she trailed off, pausing to cough into her wrinkled hand before she continued.

"Nana, you have nothing to worry about," I assured her. "I know it seems scary, him being a werewolf, but he's safe, I promise. And he takes good care of me-"

"No, not that," she said. "You're a responsible girl; I trust your judgment."

I couldn't help but smile, "Thank you, Nana. It's good to know _someone_ does."

"I just want to make sure you're happy, that's all," said Nana. "The idea of an older gentlemen can be very romantic, especially at your age, and he seems very nice; but inviting him to live here is rather… _bold_."

"I know…" I said, fidgeting a little. "But he didn't have anywhere else to go… And I can't imagine my life without him..."

Nana smiled, placing one of her hands over mine. Her hands were cold and wrinkled, and I could see almost every vein underneath her thin skin. "You seem to care deeply for him."

I blushed, "Y-yeah, I do…"

"I know exactly how you feel," she said, and I could tell by the look on her face that she was going to tell me – for perhaps the hundredth time – about her husband. "My Lyle was a good twenty years older than me, you know."

"He was?" I said, as if I had never heard the romantic tale before.

She nodded, "I was nearly thirty when we met. I thought I would be an old maid for the rest of my life, until I met Lyle…" she coughed again, violently this time. Once her fit had finished, she went on telling the story as if it hadn't even happened. "He was terribly kind to me; I'd never met anyone like him. We never had much – never even had children of our own – but we were happy. It's a shame we found each other so late in life; we only got to spend thirty-two years together before he passed on."

I swallowed my tears; for some reason, this time the story touched me in a way it never had before. Perhaps it was because the icy layer around my heart had melted. Or maybe it was because now that I was in a similar relationship, I could understand how Nana felt.

"Do you miss him?" I asked, my voice quivering.

"Every day," she sighed. "Violet, cherish every day you spend with the one you love, and never miss an opportunity to let them know how you feel. When you get to be my age, you'll regret every missed chance."

I had to wipe my eyes, "I will."

"Oh, quit crying," Nana said, swatting my arm lightly. "Run along, you don't need to be wasting time in here chatting with me."

I laughed, kissing her crumpled forehead before I left her Nana to her own devices. I could hear Aria, Ashley, and Jeff in the dining room, laughing and yelling happily while the played some sort of game. I considered joining them for a moment, but quickly decided that I wasn't in the mood for games.

Just as I had expected, Remus was waiting for me in the bedroom. He was sitting up in bed, working on a fresh crossword puzzle. A tiny fire was already burning in the fireplace, preparing to turn into the blaze that would keep us cozy for another night in each other's arms.

"Hi," I said, shutting the door behind me. "How are you holding up?"

He looked up, instantly putting the puzzle aside when he saw me. He offered me a small smile, "I'm fine, I suppose. I'm surprised she didn't pierce through the skin…"

I blinked, "What?"

"Lutie," he said. "She's been glaring daggers at me all day, every chance she gets. Luckily for me, they're only metaphorical."

"It wasn't that bad…" I said, knowing that Remus was right.

"She hates me, Violet," he said, looking quite upset.

"She doesn't _hate_ you," I said, sitting down on the bed next to him. "She… she just isn't used to you, that's all. I'm sure she'll come around."

"For your sake, I hope so," he sighed. "I know this can't be easy for you."

I rested my head on his shoulder, "I'm sorry about the way she's been treating you, Remus. You haven't done anything to deserve it."

He sighed, wrapping his arms loosely around me, "It's alright. I've endured worse; though I must admit, she has a sharp tongue for someone her age."

"But you shouldn't have to put up with that sort of thing," I protested. "Like I just said, you've done nothing to deserve that sort of treatment."

"Violet, you need to understand; the world will probably never accept me for what I am. I've already come to terms with that fact, and if you're going to be with me, you'll have to do the same."

"But-"

He placed his hand over my mouth, halting my argument. "I never said that it would be easy, or that you have to agree with them," he said, moving his hand to caress my cheek. "But that's the way things are."

"Out there, maybe," I said. My face grew warm where his fingers touched my skin. "But you shouldn't have to feel isolated in your own home."

Remus smiled, "It feels so strange, having a real home again…"

"C_herish every day you spend with the one you love,_" I heard Nana say in my mind. "_And never miss an opportunity to let them know how you feel_."

"I love you," I told him. "As long as I'm alive, you'll always have a home."

He shifted, groaning as he adjusted his position so we were facing each other. He rested his forehead against mine, looking deep into my eyes for a moment before he said, "I don't think it would be home without you, Violet."

"Remus…" I whispered, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. I pressed my lips against his, parting them slowly. I hoped he understood what I wanted to say to him; I sure didn't. Words, as magnificent as they are, are sometimes unable to accurately describe complex human emotions; in some cases, it isn't even worth trying.

But he seemed to understand. He threaded his fingers through my hair, gently sucking on my lower lip. I pulled my body as near to his as I could; partly an attempt to keep myself from shaking, but mostly because I wanted to be as close to him as possible.

_It wouldn't be home without you, either…_


	51. Chapter 51

"No, don't turn it yet," Remus said, flipping the yellowed page back, wrinkling it in the process. "I wasn't finished."

I rolled my eyes, "You're such a slow reader; I could be half done with the book by now."

"_You_ just read to fast," he said, kissing the top of my head. "I like to savor what I read."

When Remus first suggested it, the thought of reading a book together seemed very romantic. In fact, at the time, I could think of nothing more intimate than sharing a piece of literature. However, after spending a good hour stretched out on the garden hammock, having to pause at almost every page turn to bicker – good naturedly - over who was reading at the correct pace, I was starting to have some second thoughts.

"This isn't working," he sighed, looking quite disappointed.

"It was a good idea," I said, trying to cheer him up. "Maybe we could take turns reading aloud, instead?"

"I don't know," he said with fake, playful skepticism. "As fast as you fly through books, I don't know if I'd catch everything."

I giggled, shoving him in the side, "You read, then, and I'll listen."

"Alright, alright," he said. We readjusted ourselves, so that my head was pillowed on his shoulder. He wrapped one arm around me, resting his hand on my hip. He held the book up with the other, clearing his throat before he began.

"_The artist, like the God of the creation, remains within or behind or beyond or above his handiwork, invisible, refined out of existence, indifferent, paring his fingernails..."_

I closed my eyes, hoping that it would help me focus on the story. It didn't, and I knew that it wouldn't, but - as a lover of literature - I felt compelled to try anyway. As much as I loved books, I loved Remus Lupin even more, and it was so easy to let the plot flow in one ear and out the other while I focused on the sound of his voice; a hoarse, deep sound that could make any word seem beautiful.

I reached up and tucked his hair out of his eyes, kissing his jaw line softly. Slowly, I planted a line of kisses from there down his neck, until I reached the collar of his shirt. I hadn't noticed that he had stopped reading.

"Violet?" he said.

"Hmmm?" I mumbled, slowly opening my eyes. This close, I could easily see the early signs of a blush forming across his cheeks.

"I can read to you, or I can kiss you," he said, smiling playfully. "But I'm afraid it's quite impossible to do both at the same time. Which would you prefer?"

Now it was my turn to blush, and my throat started to tighten up before I could spit out my answer. Instead of even attempting a verbal response, I continued to kiss him, only allowing my lips to linger on one place for a few seconds before they moved on.

"Fine, have it your way," Remus sighed, leaning around me to set the book down on the ground. He smirked at me for a moment before our lips connected. His tongue slid into my mouth, and I was only able to play coy for a few seconds before I gave in, parting my lips so he could freely explore my mouth.

Before things got _too_ heated, we both elected to retreat, in a series of quick, delicate kisses. I looked up at him, smiling despite the burning sensation in my cheeks. He smiled right back, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. A gentle summer breeze quickly blew it loose again.

"It's so hard to believe," he said, looking at me as though he were afraid that I was just a dream. "That we're lovers."

"Lovers…" I repeated, my grin growing even wider. I liked the sound of that. Lovers… it sounded so _mature_; so much deeper than 'boyfriend-and-girlfriend'. It sounded romantic; more romantic than anything I had ever read in a book.

"It's just so… _unreal_," he continued. "It seemed so improbable; that you would ever think of me as more than just your professor."

"I know exactly what you mean," I said, a strange feeling of excitement coming over me. "I didn't think you'd ever see me as anything but a hopeless student."

"On the contrary, it was a _struggle_ to think of you as a student," Remus said, as if the experience had been agonizing for him. "Even seeing you in class, dressed in that sexless uniform; when I looked at you, I didn't see a child; I saw a _woman_."

"Y-you did?" I said bashfully, though no power in the universe could stop my grin from growing.

He nodded, holding me tightly. He rested his head on top of mine, cradling me in his arms lovingly. "I told myself nothing could ever come of it, yet I couldn't stop myself from… fantasizing about you."

It was such a flattering notion, knowing that the connection I had felt in the beginning wasn't all in my imagination; that Professor Lupin always thought I was special. My heart wanted to soar through the clouds at the very thought.

"I thought about you, too," I told him, just in case the same sort of affirmation would make him feel half as happy as it made me feel. "All the time. I could never get you out of my head."

"Oh?" I could see the tiny smirk on his face without even having to look at him. "What sorts of things did you think about?"

"Well, you know…" I trailed off, my face flushing with embarrassment. "Kissing, and… stuff of that nature."

He laughed, "Even now, I can't believe how passionate you are…"

I gulped, feeling my face heat up more than ever. I clung to the front of his shirt for dear life, struggling to think of a witty response. Nothing came out.

Sensing my distress, Remus tucked his hand under my chin and tilted my face up, "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Violet."

"I just don't want you to think-"

His lips touched mine quickly, like they were trying to remove that thought from my mouth. He looked at me very seriously, framing my face in his hands, "I could _never_ think that about you. In fact," he sighed, pulling me back into his firm, warm embrace. "I would still love you regardless, but I _love_ that I'm the only man you've been with. I like to… show you things."

"You're a natural-born teacher," I said, happy to burry my face in his chest, where he couldn't see how red my face was.

"And you'll always be my star pupil," he said. "Always so eager to learn..."

Suddenly, a loud _crack_ pierced the air, and a cloud of smoke appeared in front of us. Remus held onto me protectively while we both coughed, until the smoke cleared, leaving behind only Moth.

She giggled at the sight of us, "Oh goodness, a lover's tryst? How endearing! Moth didn't mean to interrupt."

"What is it?" I asked, my face flaring. I hoped the house elf hadn't caught enough of our conversation to know what we had been talking about.

"Oh, that's right! Moth nearly forgot!" she said. The more time I spent around the house elf, the more it became obvious where Aria commandeered most of her key personality traits; namely her love of organization, her absentmindedness, and her love of romance. I'd even caught the devilish little rascal reading smutty manga in the pantry, which she insisted on using as a bedroom –though I offered to give her a room of her own. "Miss Tate, Mr. Flanders, and Miss Zimmer wanted Moth to tell you that you should return to the house, Miss Carroll!"

"For what?" I asked, sitting up. My back was beginning to get stiff from lying on the hammock for so long. "Is something wrong?"

"Not at all," Moth said. "Moth was told to inform Miss Carroll that her N.E.W.T. results have arrived."

"Shit!" I gasped, jumping off of the hammock so fast that it almost tipped over, with poor Remus still on it. "Oh lord, oh God…"

"Violet, calm down," he said, laughing as he stood up.

"I almost forgot about them!" I said, feeling my energy drain just thinking about those Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests. My stomach even turned a little. Perhaps I was better off blocking out those two terrible weeks.

"Moth will see you later," the house elf said, disappearing in another puff of smoke.

"Come on!" I said, fighting off the urge to bounce up and down with anticipation. "Hurry up, Remus!"

"Hold your horses," he said, bending down to pick up the book. His face twisted into a painful expression, and he reached around to rub his lower back as he stood.

I ran over to him, already on the edge of panic, "Are you alright, Remus?"

"I'm fine," he groaned. He looked around helplessly, "I left my cane at the house, didn't I?"

I nodded, "Yes, you did."

"Brilliant," he muttered, rubbing his back again.

_Poor Remus,_ I thought, biting my lip. _He's only thirty-four…_

I forced out a tiny smile, grabbing onto his massive hand with both of mine. "I'll help you; you can lean on me if you need to."

"That's very kind of you, Violet," he said, lacing his fingers through mine before we took off towards the house. It was a short walk, but he let out an involuntary, agonizing moan with almost every step.

"It isn't as bad as I make it out to be," he assured me, when he noticed the worried look on my face. "Don't fret too much on my account. Besides, I'm used to it."

"You can lie down for a while when we get back to the house," I said. "I can dig out the electric blanket if-"

"Violet, I'm fine," he assured me, giving my tiny hand a brief squeeze. "But thank you for your concern, nonetheless."

"Vi-Vi! Lu-Lu!" Ashley cried, bounding out the back door as we approached the house. "Hurry! We can't open our results without you!"

"Ashley, how many times have I told you to stop calling me by that name?" Remus asked, groaning as he walked up the steps and into the house.

"But that's your name," she said simply, shutting the door after us.

Jeff and Aria were waiting as well, both seated at the kitchen table with an envelope in hand. Aria was dressed in her "crap clothes"; she had been working on getting the cellar clean for a few days now. She tugged at a strand of her curly blond hair nervously. Jeff, on the other hand, showed no sign of concern as he rocked back and forth in his chair.

"Alright," Remus said, slowly lowering himself into a chair. "Let's have a look."

"Vi-Vi, open yours first," Jeff said, handing over my envelope. "We're all too nervous."

_So let's have the nervous wreck go first,_ I thought, biting down on my tongue to keep the comment from coming out as I took my envelope. I stared down at it for a few seconds; it rattled in my shaky hands.

"Hurry!" said Ashley.

"Yes," Aria said calmly. "We're all very anxious."

"Okay," I said, slowly tearing into the envelope. I slid out the parchment inside and unfolded it carefully. I took a deep breath, slowly reading over the text:

**N.E.W.T. Results**

_Violet Elise Carroll_

Charms  
_**O**__utstanding_

Study of Ancient Runes  
_**E**__xceeds Expectations_

Transfiguration  
_**E**__xceeds Expectations_

Potions  
_**O**__utstanding_

Defense Against the Dark Arts  
_**O**__utstanding_

Astronomy  
_**A**__cceptable_

History of Magic  
_**O**__utstanding_

_Congratulations on your exceptional marks. If you have a question about your results, or would like another copy of these forms, please contact us._

_Thank you,  
The Ministry of Magic: Office of Records and Archives_

"Holy shit…" I mumbled, reading over my results again and again. I could hardly believe what I was seeing.

"She bombed!" Ashley sobbed.

"That means we're all doomed!" Jeff cried.

"No," I said, showing them my report. "I did pretty well, actually."

"_Four_ Os!" Aria said, clapping her hands. "That's fantastic, Violet!"

Jeff smirked, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were sleeping with the teacher."

I shoved Jeff in the side, snatching back my report. "Shut up; I earned my scores fair and square."

"Yes," Remus nodded. "All that hard work paid off. Aren't you glad you decided to push yourself?"

"Yeah, I guess I am," I said, looking down at my scores with pride; the last grades I would ever receive. My education was officially over.

"Ari, you go next," Jeff said.

"Alright…" she said, delicately tearing open the envelope. She continued to tug on her hair while she read. Her expression gave no hints as to what her scores might be. "Hmmm…"

"How'd you do?" I asked.

"I got Os in Divination, Runes, and Astronomy," she said, placing the paper on the table for us to see. "Which were the only ones I really cared about, anyway. I'm content."

"And you got passing marks in everything else," I said, patting her back. "Congrats."

"Me next!" Jeff said, ripping apart his envelope like a hungry animal.

"Lemme see!" Ashley squeaked, standing on her tip-toes to read his results. "Jeff, lemme see!"

"Here," he said, shoving the paper into her hands roughly. He frowned, crossing his arms as he turned away from us.

"Awww, Jeff…" I said, placing my hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, they're only test scores-"

"Jeffey!" Ashley screamed excitedly. "You did so well!"

He broke out into a grin, "I _so_ fooled you, Vi. You really thought I failed, didn't you?"

I growled, poking him in the side. He leapt into the air, squealing girlishly. When he returned to the ground, he wrapped his long, lanky arms around me and pulled me into a hug.

"I can apply for that job at the Institute for Injured and Abused Magical Creatures with these scores," Jeff said. He sounded even happier than normal; like he'd just found a designer dress for half-price.

"Ashley, you're the last one," Aria said happily. "Open it up."

We all looked at the cute, bubbly girl apprehensively. Getting that internship at the Ministry – which she had been talking about all week – depended on these test scores.

She gulped, "I can't do it; I'm too nervous…" she shoved her envelope at Remus, her cheery demeanor returning as soon as it left her hands. "You do it, Lu-Lu! You're brave."

He sighed, giving her that 'I-told-you-to-stop-calling-me-that', look as he ripped open the envelope in one even stroke. He unfolded the paper, clearing his throat before he read, "N.E.W.T. results, for Ashley Renee Abigail Zimmer…"

"I didn't know you had two middle names," I said absently.

"It's a Zimmer tradition," Ashley said proudly. "Keep reading, Lu-Lu! Oh, I hope this isn't too heartbreaking…"

"Charms: Outstanding," he read aloud. His beautiful, raspy voice made even something as mundane as test scores sound like poetry. "Transfiguration: Exceeds Expectations. Care of Magical Creatures: Acceptable. Potions: Acceptable. Herbology: Outstanding. Astronomy: Outstanding. History of Magic: Exceeds Expectations."

"You go, Ash!" Jeff said, releasing me from his grasp to give his childhood friend a hug.

"Wait, there's more," Remus said, grinning widely. "_Due to your fantastic scores, the Ministry of Magic has decided to offer you an internship in the Department of Laws and Legislation."_

Her hands flew over her mouth; for the first time in her life, Ashley was speechless.

"Was that the one you wanted?" I asked. I never would have imagined Ashley working in such a dull department.

"Yes!" she screamed, jumping up and down wildly. "I got it! Woooh!"

"That's so wonderful," Aria said, looking like she would burst with happiness. "I'm so proud of you."

"Yes, congratulations," Remus said, folding up the paper before he sat it aside. "You worked very hard, as well. I'm very happy for you."

"I have to go write to my Mommy and Daddy!" Ashley declared, skipping off to her room.

Aria giggled, "I think she'll end up disillusioned; The Department of Laws and Legislation seems so…"

"Serious," Jeff and I both finished.

He grinned, "Hey, you said the same thing as me!"

"Oh no…" I said, feeling my heart drop to the floor. "I think I need to go lie down; I must be sick…"

"Nothing can save you now! I have you in my power!" Jeff called after me, sounding quite evil. I could hear Remus laughing in the background as I scurried upstairs.

Originally, I intended to return right away, laughing and brushing off the event as mere coincidence. However, I spotted Lutie, sitting alone in our old room with a book in her lap, and I felt compelled to speak to her; to at least attempt to set things right between us.

"Hey," I said, sitting down at the foot of her bed.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you how to knock?" Lutie said darkly, glancing up at me with an irritated expression.

"It's my room," I said flatly.

"Funny," she said, shutting the book. "You haven't slept in here since you got back."

"It's my _house,_" I said. "Lutie, can we please talk?"

"Talk?" she said innocently. "About what?"

"God Lutie, I don't know," I said, already starting to lose my patience. "About _anything._ You've been so distant lately."

"_I've_ been distant?" Lutie said. "_Me?_ _You_ spend half the day fucking that wolf-man!"

Her words lit my face on fire with embarrassment, "Lutie!"

"Well, it's the truth!" she said. "And when you're not screwing him, you're doing _something_ with him."

"W-what's wrong with that?" I asked.

"He's _old_, Violet!" she yelled, pounding her fists into the mattress. The whole bed shook with her fury. "He's twice your age! Maybe everyone else can deal with it, but I can't. I can't stand to watch you with him; it's so repulsive!"

"It is not!" I screamed back. It was so hard to resist the urge to slap her across the face; for all the rude things she had done and said since I had returned home. "We love each other; why should it matter?"

"Because…" Lutie choked, and I realized that she was on the verge of tears. Her rough exterior crumbled, and she burst into a pile of tears and sobs. "Can't you see, Violet? He's just using you!"

_So that's it, _I thought, glad that I finally found the root of the problem. I'd had a feeling that there was more to it than the age difference. I sighed, "Lutie-"

"No!" she interrupted. "He really is! You're just so blinded by affection that you can't see it! Mom thinks so, too! Please Violet, you have to listen to me!"

"Alright," I said calmly, tugging my legs underneath me. I knew arguing with her would only make matters worse, but if I listened to her side, perhaps I could find a way to ease her worries once and for all. "You have my attention, Lutie. What makes you think Remus is using me?"

She wiped her eyes on her t-shirt, "H-he… uses you for… you know… sex-stuff…"

"We're in love, Lutie," I said, blushing slightly. "That's what people do when they're in love."

"But…" she swallowed. "Sometimes, people pretend-"

"Remus doesn't _pretend_ to love me," I said, not at all willing to let that one slide.

"But how do you _know_?" Lutie asked, raising her eyebrows.

"I… I just know," I said. "Remus would never do something so… cruel. He's not like that."

Lutie rolled her eyes, "Okay, so for argument's sake, let's say he _does_ love you. That doesn't change the fact that he's living here without paying rent, or contributing anything at all."

"That's not fair, Lutie," I frowned. "He's trying to find a job."

"How do you know?" she questioned. "I mean, sure, he _tells_ us he's going out to look for a job. But how do we know that's really what he's doing? You'd think he would have found _something_ by now…"

"Lutie…" I sighed, bushing my hair back. "It's _very_ difficult for Remus to find work."

"Yeah," she snorted. "Obviously."

"It isn't his fault!" I snapped. "It's that damned anti-werewolf legislation!"

Lutie blinked, "Anti-werewolf legislation? What the hell is that?"

"The Ministry of Magic signed it into law about a year ago," I explained to her. "It limits the kinds of jobs werewolves can have. It prevents them from working in most respectable professions."

"I didn't know about that…" she said, biting down on her lip.

"And as if that weren't bad enough, the wizarding community is extremely biased against werewolves," I said, fighting off the need to spout off my _entire_ N.E.W.T. oral-report on lycanthropy. "They're pretty much shunned by society."

"Really?" Lutie said, her voice racked with guilt.

I nodded, "It's terribly unfair. Remus is the last person in the world who deserves to be treated like that. Which is why it hurts me when you act the way you've been acting. This is his home, too. He shouldn't have to feel like an outcast in his own home."

Lutie was silent for a moment. I watched as she nibbled on her lip until it turned red. Finally, she said, "Way to make me feel like a bitch."

I laughed, "Well… You've kind of been acting like a bitch, Lutie."

"Heh, sorry…" she said. "I guess… I guess I just jumped to conclusions."

"Don't tell that to me," I said, climbing off of the bed. "Tell Remus; he's been beating himself up all week because he thinks you hate him."

"Violet, I can't…" she said somberly. "You know I'm bad at talking to people. I always say the wrong things."

"Oh, come on," I said, forcing a smile that I'm sure looked fake. "You've been cooped up in here for days. Come out and grace us with your presence."

"But if I leave, I have to deal with that damned homo…" Lutie muttered, but she didn't protest any more as I tugged her downstairs. Aria had returned to her work in the basement, so only Jeff and Remus remained in the kitchen. Both gentlemen were scribbling on paper; Remus was absorbed in yet another crossword, and Jeff was hastily filling out his job application.

"Why, if it isn't Little-Lutie," Jeff said, smiling at her. "What brings you down to the world of the living, Little-Lutie?"

"I… wanted a drink," she said, quickly ducking into the fridge.

I sighed, sitting down at the table. "Can you get me one too, Lutie? I'm parched."

"Sure," she said, shutting the door. She placed the can of cola on the table, hovering over the table like she was waiting for something.

I opened the soda, "You've been doing a lot of those puzzles lately. Is that your new hobby?"

"Hmmm? Oh," he said, looking up from his work. "I suppose so. After… when we were apart, I tried almost everything I could think of to keep my mind off of you. Nothing worked, of course, but I decided I enjoyed crosswords."

"D'awww, that's so adorable," Jeff teased. "Aren't they adorable, Little Lutie?"

We all stared at her, waiting to hear her reaction. My heart started pounding, but time ticked by, and she showed no sign that she'd even heard the question. She just stared at the table, her brow furrowed.

"_Indigenous,_" she said at last, her freckled face finally relaxing. She even smiled a little. "That's the answer to number twenty-six across."

"Thank you, Lutie," Remus said, as if it were the most shocking thing he had ever heard in his life.

I couldn't help but smile, _Maybe this will all work out, after all…_


	52. Chapter 52

I sighed, staring out the window at the flower garden. My view was blurred by the constant downpour; a heavy rain, with huge drops that made a loud _splat_ sound as they hit the window. Bored out of my mind, I played with the cord on the mini blinds; lifting it up and then allowing the plastic end to collide with the glass window before repeating the motion.

"Violet, please stop that," Lutie said at last. She was sitting on the sofa, happy to read away her rainy day, the way she read away every other day.

"Sorry," I said, resting my head against the cold glass. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the note I had found on my dresser that morning. I had folded and re-folded it so many times that the words were starting to fade, but that didn't matter; I knew it by heart already.

_My dearest Violet,_

_I'm afraid that, for the entirety of the day, I must leave your gentle embrace in order to take care of some business, and I will not be returning until late this evening. Please wait up for me; it is vital that no one else is about when I arrive. I am sorry that I cannot provide you with more details at this moment, but I can assure you that tonight, you will understand why I must be vague._

_Love,  
Remus John Lupin_

I looked up at the grandfather clock, for perhaps the hundredth time that day; it was just past three-thirty.

"Are you going to do this all day?" Lutie asked impatiently. "Could you at least read something?"

"I tried," I shrugged. "But I can't focus."

She rolled her eyes, looking back down at her novel, "You're so pathetic…"

Lutie didn't know about the secretive circumstances; I'd decided not to tell anyone. Instead, I told them that Remus was out job hunting, and might not return from that journey until after dark, if things went well.

"_I really hope he finds a job_," Jeff said while we ate lunch.

Aria nodded, "It's a shame that he resigned; he was an amazing teacher."

"_But then he can't spend all day with Vi-Vi_," Ashley reminded them._ "I'll be starting my internship soon, and Jeff will be starting his job, and Aria's shop is going to open soon, and Lutie will have to go back to school in the fall; that would leave our daughter here all alone_!"

"_She_ _could always get a real job,_" Lutie muttered, but no one paid her any attention. Besides, once Aria's shop opened, I would be employed; as a potion maker.

"_Do not fret_," Moth said proudly. "_I shall keep your child safe in your absence_."

"_I can take care of myself_," I grumbled. "_It's not like I'm ill or something_."

"_But you _are _sick, my pet,_" Jeff said, stroking my hair. "_Sick with love!_"

I rolled my eyes, "_I can live without Remus for a couple of hours_."

Now, watching the minutes tick by, I wasn't so sure. By the time everyone else had slipped off to bed, I was so antsy that I couldn't stay seated, and I was forced to pace around. I walked through the living room, into the dining room, through the kitchen, and then into the living room again; around and around, like some sort of demented carnival ride that would never stop.

_What in the world is going on?_ I thought, glancing at the clock as I passed it. It was eleven forty-six, now. How much longer was I supposed to wait?

_If he isn't back by midnight, I'm going to call for help,_ I resolved. I heard a loud clap of thunder off in the distance; the brunt of the storm was headed our way. I was so nervous that my hands were shaking violently as I paced.

I was in the kitchen when I heard the front door open. My heart leaped into my mouth as I darted to the foyer, nearly slipping on the hardwood floors. I was so relieved to see Remus stepping through the door that I immediately threw my arms around him, not noticing at first that he was soaking wet – despite having with him an equally soaked umbrella – or that he wasn't alone. A large, black dog forced its way past us, shaking itself dry, successfully drenching the entryway.

_This is what he insisted I keep secret?_ I thought. _This is what kept him out all day – a dog?!_

"I'm terribly sorry," Remus said, smiling as he shut the door behind him. His messy brown hair was plastered to his face by rain, and his clothes were dripping. "I'd hug you back, but I don't want to get you all wet."

I glanced at the dog, feeling a little frustrated. "Remus," I said, trying to sound stern without coming off as angry. "I wish you would have told me about this. I mean, I like dogs, but-"

Remus put his pruney hand over my mouth, silencing me. "Are we alone?" he whispered.

I nodded, "Yes; everyone else is asleep. Remus, what's going on?"

He looked over my shoulder, "The coast is clear, Sirius."

"S-sirius?" I stammered, feeling my entire body go ridged for a moment. I slowly turned around, and sure enough, the soggy dog had vanished, leaving Sirius Black in its place. Despite knowing it was him, I let out a yelp at the sight of him – the sudden flash of lightening that illuminated his shrunken face didn't exactly make the moment any more serene – and I nearly fell backwards.

"W-what… How…" I stuttered, staring dumbly at the man before me. He looked exactly like he did the last time I saw him; gaunt, sick, and just a little mad.

"Hey, this is the girl from the Shrieking Shack…" Sirius said, leaning in to examine me. "She isn't the one you've been telling me about, is she?"

"She is," Remus said, sounding almost proud of himself as he placed his hands on my shoulders. "Padfoot, this is Violet Carroll. Violet, this is an old friend of mine; Sirius Black."

"Moony, you wily old wolf!" Sirius said, looking quite impressed. "She can't be more than sixteen!"

"I'm eighteen," I said meekly, feeling extremely self conscious. For some reason, it seemed very important that I make a good first impression, which was something I almost always failed at since I'd crossed over into the age of new-Violet. She always seemed to botch social situations.

"Ha!" he barked, his smirk widening with amusement. "It seems that I'd terribly misjudged you, old friend. Or have you just been picking up the slack while I've been locked away?"

"I can assure you, it's nothing like that," Remus said, absolutely flustered.

"Mhm, of course," Sirius said with an almost Jeffish glimmer in his pale eyes.

"No, really," he insisted, like a child who had been caught red-handed, yet felt compelled to attempt to talk their way out of trouble.

"You don't have to justify yourself to me, Moony," said Sirius. "I just never knew you had it in you."

"Would you like to come in?" I asked, jumping to Remus' rescue for a change. "You're both absolutely drenched; I'll build a fire in the living room."

"Thank you, Violet," Remus said, smiling kindly.

"Actually," Sirius said, his voice shrinking, humbled by the thought of asking someone else for a favor. "If you don't mind, I was hoping I could take a bath…"

_He probably hasn't washed in ages,_ I thought, inwardly grimacing at the prospect. "Alright," I said, pointing off down the hallway. "The first door on the left is Nana's bathroom. She's half-deaf, so she won't hear you and wake up."

"Thank you," he said, as if I had just saved his life. "I'll try to be quick."

"Take as much time as you need," I told him, offering up a sincere smile. "We'll be waiting for you out here."

"Right," he said, slowly slipping off down the dark hall. Another bolt of lightning lit up the room, causing me to jump.

Remus sighed, pulling his wand out of his coat. He tapped himself on the head, and in seconds, he was totally dry. He shoved his wand through his belt loop, hanging his tattered brown coat on the rack by the door.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking at the damp floor solemnly. "I should have asked you before I brought him into your house."

"Yeah," I agreed, nodding. "Next time, please tell me before you bring a convicted mass murderer into our home; I'd like to at least have some hors d'oeuvres prepared."

Remus let out a dry laugh, "But you understand, don't you? I couldn't just… _leave_ him out there, all alone, with nothing."

"I understand," I said, grabbing onto one of his hands. Despite being completely dry, his skin was still ice cold from the rain. "Come on; let's sit in the living room."

He nodded, wordlessly following after me. I left him sitting on the sofa while I lit a fire in the hearth with my wand.

_I love magic,_ I thought with a grin, remembering the days – when Mora still ran the house – where matches were are only option as I sat down next to Remus. Finally, it seemed like the perfect time to bring up a question that had been floating in the back of my mind for several weeks.

"Um," I said, holding up my hand as if we were back in the classroom. Old habits die hard. "Remus, what happen that night, after we left the Shrieking Shack?"

He blinked, "You mean you don't know?"

I laughed nervously, "The last thing I really remember is seeing you transform. Everything after that is blank."

"I see," he sighed, looking down at the floor with shame. "I'm afraid I don't know much, myself. I only know what Dumbledore's told me, and he was very reluctant to give out any specific details..."

"Did he tell you what happened to Peter Pettigrew?" I asked. Saying his name left that same nasty taste in my mouth that - until recently - I had always associated with Sirius Black.

"He escaped," Remus sighed desperately. "And somehow, Sirius escaped as well; though his hopes of becoming a free man have been completely shattered."

"I feel so guilty," I said, nervously folding my hands in my lap. "I should have been able to _do_ something."

"You can't blame yourself for this, Violet," he said, looking at me seriously. "Believe me, I know how you feel; it took me quite some time to come to terms with it, myself. But Peter is the only one to blame for all of this."

I nodded, feeling that tiny ball of hate in my heart burning like a wildfire. I hated Pettigrew, even more than I'd ever hated Sirius. If I ever saw him again – and the vengeful part of me hoped that I would – I wouldn't show him any mercy. I would kill him myself if I had to.

"How did you find him again?" I asked, not wanting to dwell on my mother's murderer for very long. "Sirius, I mean."

"He wrote to me," said Remus. "He said he wanted to see me; said that he needed to talk to a friend, after all those years in solitary confinement."

I nodded understandingly, "That makes-"

"Oh Violet," he sobbed, covering his face with his hands. "I couldn't just leave him. He's been insisting that he's fine, that he can take care of himself, but… just _look_ at him! He's _emaciated_! He can't last on his own for too much longer!"

"Shhhh," I whispered, rubbing his shoulder affectionately. "It's alright…"

"No, it isn't alright," he whimpered. "I should have known he was innocent. I should have known all along. What was I thinking?! I let my best friend rot in Azkaban for thirteen years, because I couldn't put it all together."

"Remus…" I trailed off, pulling him into my arms. He was eager to rest his head on my shoulder, like a large, frightened child. Only when I felt the warm, salty tears on my skin did I realize he was crying. I kissed the side of his face, "You said so yourself; Pettigrew is the only one to blame."

"Can he stay here?" he asked, in the way a little boy would ask to keep the huge black dog that had followed him inside. In this odd display of hysteria, his voice seemed to lack a certain seriousness that it usually carried. "Please, he has nowhere else to go…"

"Of course," I said, relaxing back into the sofa, so that we were both lying down. His head was resting over my heart, and I ran my fingers through his brown-gray hair. "He can stay as long as he needs to."

I would have allowed Sirius to stay even if Remus hadn't asked me. In fact, I probably would have insisted on it. I felt like I owed him, for all those years of misplaced hate. I wasn't sure how I was going to explain it to the borders, but at the moment, that didn't seem to matter.

"I'm going to make it up to him," Remus declared, holding onto me tightly. "I can't imagine how, and maybe it isn't even possible, but I'm going to try…"

_Me too,_ I thought, smiling as I continued to play with his hair. Time seemed to tick by at a snail's pace – even the clicks of the clock seemed to be further apart than normal – and his sobs slowly turned to snores as he was lulled into sleep. I felt accomplished, knowing that I was able to comfort Remus, the way he had always comforted me.

I was about to doze off as well, but the sound of the floorboards creaking pulled me back into reality. I watched as Sirius – quite ominously – stepped out from the shadows and into the living room. He was still wearing his dirty prison uniform, but now his hair was washed, at least.

"He's asleep," I whispered.

"I can see that," Sirius said, pulling up a chair. "Best we don't wake him, – for now at least – he looks so peaceful."

I nodded, unable to keep myself from smiling, "Yes, he does..."

"Look," Sirius started, looking around awkwardly, as if his cue cards had been misplaced. I realized suddenly that after all those years of solitary confinement, holding a normal conversation must be difficult. I waited patiently, and eventually, he was able to finish his thought. "I'd like to apologize for my behavior that night we met. I wasn't exactly in the best state of mind for introductions."

"It's alright," I said. "I understand." I wished I could pass of my behavior on the circumstances, but unfortunately, I was always a shaky, nervous mess.

"And I understand, if you don't want me hanging around," he said. "I'm putting the both of you in danger by being here."

"Remus and I were just talking about that, actually," I said. "We both want you to stay. We'll help you get back on your feet."

"I'll be forever grateful to you," he said politely. "I hate having to come crawling here for help, but I do appreciate it. I'll pay you back for everything, if my name ever gets cleared."

"That won't be necessary," I said. "I want to help you."

He smiled, revealing a mouth full of rotting teeth, "You know, you're every bit as kind as Moony says you are."

My face flushed, "He was talking about me?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Talking about you? He babbled like an idiot for almost an hour. If I hadn't been confined to my canine body, I would have told him to put a sock in it. '_Violet-this, Violet-that. She's so wonderful, Sirius. I've never felt like this about anyone before_.' It's enough to make a grown man sick to his stomach."

"He really said all that?" I asked, looking down at Remus with a broad grin. It seemed impossible that he could be so infatuated with _me_.

Sirius nodded with a heavy sigh, "You're very lucky, you know."

"I know," I said, resting my chin on the top of his head. "Believe me, I know. Remus is such a great man-"

"Please," he groaned. "Don't you start too; I can't take anymore tonight."

"Sorry…" I said timidly.

"Do you love him?" he asked, his expression suddenly very sober.

"I do," I said, smiling softly. "I love Remus very much."

"He loves you, too," Sirius said, smirking. "At least, seeing him with his face buried in your breasts like that would lead me to believe so; Moony used to have a difficult time with affection."

_I never would have guessed,_ I thought, blushing as I pushed his hair back into its proper place. Remus was always very affectionate, especially now that we weren't keeping our relationship a secret. He never missed an opportunity to hold my hand or kiss me. We always fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

A long silence passed between us; the only sounds were that of the ticking clock, the crackling fire, and Remus snoring quietly. It wasn't exactly an awkward silence; it just happened that neither of us could think of something to say. I wasn't sure what Sirius was thinking about, but I knew that I was too tired to come up with the right thing to say. Even wide awake, I doubt I would have been able to come up with something.

"I think we should all get to bed," I said finally. "I know I'm tired, I can only imagine how exhausted you are, and Remus is already sound asleep."

"I don't think I've ever felt this worn out in my entire life," Sirius said, rubbing his eyes. "I can hardly remember the last time I slept in a real bed…"

"Wake up, my love," I whispered, slowly sitting up. "It's time to go to bed."

"Mmmm," Remus groaned, looking up at me sleepily. He yawned, looking happy to see me. His yawn slowly transformed into a goofy grin. "Violet, when did you get here?"

"Come on," I coaxed, kissing his forehead gently. "We have to get upstairs."

He yawned again, "Why? I'm so comfortable…"

"You'll be just as comfortable upstairs," Sirius assured Remus, helping him to stand. "That's it, Moony…"

I couldn't help but smile at the scene, and I yawned myself as I stood. Remus stumbled around sleepily as Sirius and I led him up the stairs. Each step creaked underneath our combined weight, and I feared that we would wake someone. But when we reached the top of the stairs, no one was there to meet us, and I sighed with relief.

"Go on to our room," I said, giving Remus a shove in the right direction. "I'll be along after I get our new guest settled in."

"G'night," he said, nodding at Sirius before he staggered into the first room on the left.

I giggled, "That's the bathroom, Remus."

"Right," Remus said, stepping back out into the hall. "Of course it is."

Sirius laughed at his friend's misfortune. I could tell that it had been a long time since he'd had a good laugh; it sounded cracked and old, like it hadn't been used in a while.

_Jeff, Aria, and Ashley should be able to help him get back into the swing of things, as far as humor goes,_ I thought, tapping my chin as I examined the empty rooms. At last, I selected a room I knew had a comfortable mattress.

"You can sleep in here," I said, pushing the door open. "Keep your door shut; I don't want any of the other borders accidentally discovering you're here before I've had a chance to come up with a good cover story."

"A bed…" Sirius said, staring at the piece of furniture as if it were the most amazing thing he had ever seen – as if up until this point, he had assumed beds were just a faerie tale. He gave me no indication that he had heard my instructions.

"It doesn't bite," I said. "Go on; get a good night's sleep."

"Don't mind if I do," Sirius said, grinning like a madman as he dove into bed.

I shut the door slowly, watching as he wiggled between the sheets, like all of his troubles had been solved by that silky comforter and matching pillow set. I made sure the door was shut tight before I slipped off to my own room, where Remus was waiting.

"Ah, there you are," he said, smiling at me. He sat on the edge of the bed, sleepy but fully conscious… and shirtless. His scarred skin looked as tantalizing as ever. Remus wasn't very muscular, - something that seemed to be popular with other girls my age, though I never understood the appeal – and his chest was virtually hairless, except for a few patches here and there, and the thick trail that started at his navel and extended downward, to an area that was hidden by his pants.

"Sirius is all settled in," I said, closing the door behind me. It was a struggle to focus on anything but how much I wanted him, but somehow I managed to get out a coherent sentence.

Remus shrugged, oblivious to his ability to completely shatter my modest outer shell. "It's been a long day. I'm sorry I kept you up so late, but I couldn't think of a better way to get him inside without someone noticing."

"It's alright," I said, slipping off my flats and unbuttoning my cardigan. "I can't think of any other way we could have pulled it off."

He buried his face in his hands helplessly, "How on earth are we going to explain this to everyone?"

"We can figure that out in the morning," I said, walking over to him. I grabbed onto one of his hands and pulled it up to my mouth, kissing the coarse skin. I nipped lightly at his index finger before – remembering some more of Ashley's helpful advice – I wrapped my lips around the tip of it, sucking as gently as possible.

"Violet," he inhaled sharply, the first sign that he was beginning to unravel.

"Hmm?" I mumbled, not looking up from my work. My hands were shaking now, and I worried that they would slip, and I would accidently bite his finger.

Before I knew it, Remus was on his feet, yanking his finger out of my mouth and instantly replacing it with his tongue. It was my turn to unravel; my knees buckled instantly, unable to take the intensity of the kiss in my tired state. Remus caught me, pulling me tightly against his bare chest while his tongue massaged mine. In seconds, I was affectively reduced to a pile of shaky limbs and passionate moans.

He retreated slowly, looking deep into my eyes as he spoke, "Are you sure you're not too tired?"

I nodded quickly, "Y-yes, I'm sure."

"Good," he said, kissing me quickly. "Because, quite frankly, the thought of making warm, gentle love to you while that storm rages outside hasn't left my mind since I walked in the door."

"Remus…" I breathed, trembling more than ever. Lightning struck somewhere outside, and I screamed with surprise, clinging to his naked chest. Once I realized what had happened, my cheeks burned with embarrassment.

"Shhhh, don't be frightened," he whispered in my ear. He lifted me up, gently placing me on the bed, hovering over me with a smug smirk plastered on his face. "I'll keep you safe."


	53. Chapter 53

"That's the saddest story Moth has ever heard!" Moth sobbed, blowing her nose on a napkin. "You poor, poor man…"

Sirius shoved another bite of cereal into his mouth. It was weird, seeing a grown man eating those fuzzy pink marshmallows. He swallowed after only chewing a few times, "Yeah, it was pretty rough."

"Don't eat so fast," Nana scolded lovingly. Already, she had decided Sirius was yet another child she needed to look after and care for. She'd even vowed to knit him a new pair of socks. "You'll give yourself a stomach ache."

_So far, so good,_ I thought, a little surprised. Remus and I had woken up early and found some of my father's old clothes for Sirius to wear; they hung off of his malnourished body loosely, but it was better than having him walk around in that prison uniform – which he lit on fire immediately after he removed it. Moth was already making Nana her morning oatmeal when we arrived in the kitchen, and both of them took the news very well; though I must admit, Moth over-romanticized everything and Nana was probably too senile to really understand who Sirius _was_.

"That's two down," Remus said, not looking up from the morning paper.

"Are you doing another crossword?" I asked, sipping at my tea. I had never been much of a breakfast person; peppermint tea and toast was good enough for me.

He chuckled, "No, I meant we've successfully told two people about Padfoot without too much fuss."

"Ohhhh," I said, blushing slightly at my mistake.

"That was the best part about Azkaban," Sirius muttered. "No bloody puns when you're in solitary confinement…"

"What's wrong with puns?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, don't even get me started," Sirius said, shoving another bite of fluffy pink cereal into his mouth.

"Throughout our school days, Sirius was often the certain joke," Remus explained. "While the rest of us found it humorous, he thought it rather annoying."

"What sort of joke?" I inquired. "I'm not sure I understand…"

"Moony," Sirius hissed. "I swear-"

"Don't fret, Padfoot," Remus said, smiling good-naturedly at his angry friend. "I'm not going to say anything. Violet is very clever, I'm sure she'll figure it out on her own eventually."

"This is so exciting!" Moth squealed, dancing about the kitchen like a faerie. "Moth's never helped an escaped criminal before! And Mr. Black is nothing like Moth expected him to be! He's not mean or crazy at all!"

"You're very outgoing for a house elf," Sirius said, with an odd bitterness in his voice. "Violet's family must treat you very humanely."

"Oh, Moth is not in service of the Carroll family," Moth said. "Moth is here on the request of her mistress, Miss Aria Tate."

"She's one of my friends," I explained. "She's been staying with us, too."

"Bloody hell, how many people do you have living in this place?" Sirius grumbled.

"I think there are eleven of us," I said. "Twelve now, including you. There used to be more but…" I looked up at Remus, "Um… they moved out."

"And I don't blame them, not one bit," Nana said. "You'd have to be crazy to wanna live in a house like this. Witchcraft and werewolves and goblins and queers, and now we're sheltering an escaped criminal!"

"Moth isn't a goblin," she said, crossing her arm. "Moth is a house elf."

Sirius smirked, "Sounds like my kind of place…"

"You young people," Nana mumbled, wheeling herself into the living room, where she would spend the rest of her day knitting new socks and mittens for Sirius and staring off into space.

Sirius laughed, banging his fist on the table with amusement, "That old bat's something else..."

"I'll be right back," I said, slowly rising to my feet. "I think I'm going to wake up Lutie."

"Who's Lutie?" Sirius asked, suddenly breaking out of his laughing fit.

"The muggle girl who lives here," said Remus gravely. He was still convinced that Lutie couldn't stand him, but that was only half true. She was getting used to him, at the very least. "Violet, are you sure that's such a good idea?"

"I think she's our safest bet," I said honestly. "Lutie's defiantly the most level-headed of the bunch."

"If you say so," he shrugged, returning his attention to the newspaper.

_It'll be okay,_ I told myself, walking upstairs to Lutie's room with my hands quivering at my sides. _If I just explain, Lutie will understand._

The door was open when I arrived. When I peeked inside, I saw Lutie, hunched over another book. S_he might read more than I do,_ I thought, clearing my throat, "May I come in?"

Lutie looked up, startled. She sighed with relief when she saw me, "Thank God, I thought you were that damned cross dresser again."

"Did you need me for something, Little Lutie?" Jeff asked, suddenly appearing beside me. "I could have sworn that I heard you say _cross dresser_."

She smacked her forehead, "What I _need_, Jeffery, is five seconds without you bothering me."

_I guess I could just tell them both at the same time,_ I thought. _Lutie's levelheadedness coupled with Jeff's acceptance might make explaining things easier._

"Um, could I talk to the two of you?" I asked, fidgeting with a loose string on my sweater vest. "I've got something important to tell you."

"Oh Jesus, you aren't pregnant, are you?" she said, looking completely disgusted.

"No!" I said quickly. "No, it isn't anything like that."

"Awww, darn," Jeff pouted. "It would be nice to have cute, nerdy grandchildren running around... Maybe with a wolfy tails…"

Lutie rolled her eyes, "Jeff, shut up. Go on, Vi; what is it you need to tell us?"

I took a deep breath, "Do you… Lutie, Jeff; what would I say if I told you that Sirius Black was sitting in our kitchen?"

In seconds, all the color had drained from Lutie's face, with the exception of her freckles, "W-what?"

"Sirius Black," I said. "He's eating cereal in our kitchen. Right now."

"No way," Jeff said, completely awestruck. "That bastard better not be eating _my_ cereal!"

"Jeffery, _shut_ _up_!" Lutie snapped. "There's a killer in our kitchen! Cereal is hardly important at this point!"

"How'd he get in?" Jeff demanded, his protective side bubbling to the surface. "More importantly; _why_ aren't we doing something about it?! Please tell me you've already alerted the Ministry, and that you're using my cereal as a distraction!"

"Enough with the fucking cereal!" Lutie screamed. "Make yourself useful and call the police, before he kills us all!"

"He's innocent," I said, suddenly realizing that I might not have made that clear. "Sirius didn't murder my mother, or anyone else. He was framed."

"… What?" Lutie said again, looking at me like I had just sprouted a second head.

"I know, it sounds crazy," I said, laughing nervously. "But it's true. Do you really think I'd let him into our home if I thought he murdered my mother?"

"Alright," Lutie said. "If that's the case, who _did_ murder all those people?"

"And why aren't _they_ in prison?" Jeff asked, mimicking Lutie's tone.

"His name is Peter Pettigrew," I told them. His name left that bitter taste in my mouth when I spoke it. "He framed Sirius thirteen years ago…" I trailed off, my head spinning just _thinking_ about all the details. "It's a really long story…"

"So… he isn't here to kill us?" Jeff whimpered.

"No," I sighed. "He's here because he needs our help. He-"

I was interrupted by a loud, blood-curdling scream, floating through the open window with a gust if cold, post-storm air. I recognized the voice instantly.

"Ari," I breathed, dashing downstairs. Lutie and Jeff followed after me, and we nearly fell into the kitchen when we arrived, just in time to see Aria fly into the kitchen through the back door.

"What's the matter?" Remus asked, his face filled with concern.

"T-there's a Hippogriff in the garden!" Aria shouted, her green eyes wide with fright. "A bloody Hippogriff is eating my begonias!"

Sirius and Remus exchanged a worried glance.

"Why do I get the feeling _you_ have something to do with this?" I asked, glaring at Sirius.

He grinned playfully, "Golly Violet, how'd you know? You really are clever-"

I smacked my forehead, "Just… go take care of it," I said, pointing at the back door. "Before it hurts someone."

"But I haven't finished my-"

"Go!" I snapped. He listened this time, jumping up immediately, pushing past Aria as he darted outside.

Remus chuckled, turning the page of his newspaper, "You can be rather frightening when you want to be, love."

Aria gulped, "W-was that… who I _think_ it was?"

"Yes," I sighed, collapsing into my chair.

"Don't be frightened, Miss Tate," Moth said, holding on to her master's hand. "Mr. Black is really nice; you shouldn't listen to what the media's been saying about him. They've got Mr. Black pegged all wrong!"

"B-b-but…" she stammered, looking at us in utter disbelief. "He… and…"

"Violet seems to be under the impression that he's innocent," Lutie shrugged, helping herself to a glass of orange juice.

"He _is_ innocent," Remus insisted. "I promise, Lutie; I wouldn't have brought him here if I wasn't absolutely sure."

"Oh, _you_ brought him here," Lutie said, as if she finally understood. "Now I get it."

I groaned, rubbing my temple, "Please Lutie, not today…"

"Look, I know how strange it sounds," Remus said, looking back and forth between the three of them, determined to make them believe that his friend was indeed not guilty of the crimes he had been charged with. "Would I really bring a killer into our home? I can guarantee you, Sirius is harmless."

"_Damnit, hold still!_" we heard Sirius scream. When we glanced out the window, we saw a huge blur of blue-gray feathers pass by. "_No! Come back here! Hey!_"

"Yeah," Lutie shrugged. "He seems like a real sweet fellow."

"Hippogriffs can be a handful," Jeff added. "If we're going to keep it here, I can help take care of it."

"Thank you, Jeffery," Remus said. "That would be fantastic."

"Oh, it's not a problem," Jeff said, grinning widely. "I love animals."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am here!" Ashley sung as she danced into the kitchen. For once, she was dressed professionally, wearing a peach-colored suit with a skirt that covered her knees. Her long brown hair, which was normally pulled into pigtails on the top of her head, was now pulled in to a tight, elegant bun. "I am ready for my first day on the job!"

"You look very nice, Ashley," Remus said, smiling at her. He had learned how to play along with her 'I-am-the-queen-of-the-world' games rather quickly. Most of the time, listening to their playful banter was rather entertaining.

"Thank you," Ashley giggled, twirling around like a model on the runway. "But you must control yourself; Vi-Vi is sitting right here. I would hate for her to get jealous."

"She has nothing to worry about," he said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and kissing me on the cheek. "You may look especially elegant today, but – in my eyes – no one can hold a candle to my Violet."

_Yeah right,_ I thought, looking down at my knee-length gray pleated skirt, white shirt, and argyle sweater vest. _If Jeff doesn't pick out my outfits, I always come out looking like a librarian who got dressed in the dark._

"What do you think, Ari?" Ashley asked, dancing over to her.

"Sirius Black is chasing a Hippogriff around our garden," said Aria, her eyes fixed on an invisible point on the wall. I could understand why she was so shocked; hearing her say it out loud like that, the situation did seem rather bizarre.

"You think Sirius Black is chasing a Hippogriff around our garden?" Ashley repeated, looking very confused.

"Sorry about that," Sirius said, bursting back inside as if he was summoned by his name. His hair was now a disheveled mess, making him look exactly like his wanted posters. "I've got him tied up good this time. That blasted bird is going to be the death of me."

Another scream pierced the air. Ashley's, this time; the young law student ducked behind Jeff with fright.

"V-v-vi-Vi!" she stammered. "H-h-he's…"

"Calm down, Ashley," Remus said evenly.

"Hello ladies," Sirius said, smirking at them as he sat back down. "I don't believe we've been properly introduced-"

"Shut up, _you,_" Ashley snapped, pulling out her wand. She jabbed the short, fat, springy wand into his neck. Sirius cringed. Ashley, however, seemed to be enjoying herself. "I work for the Ministry, and-"

Remus sighed, removing his wand from his coat pocket, flicking it in Ashley's direction with a bored expression on his face, "Petrificus Totalus."

"Remus!" I gasped as I watched Ashley's body fall backwards. Jeff rushed to her side, catching her just before she hit the floor.

"Was that too much?" he asked innocently.

Sirius nodded, "It may have been, Moony. Thank goodness this fine young…" he looked at Jeff quizzically, not really sure what to call him. "Erm, _individual_ was here to catch her."

_Being around Sirius really brings out Remus's mischievous side,_ I thought, not quite sure if that was a good thing or not. _But at least they're both having fun…_

"Well, you didn't have to curse her," Jeff pouted, holding on to his best friend protectively. "She was just scared…"

"And understandably so," Aria added. "I mean, there _is_ a convicted serial killer in our kitchen."

"That reminds me," Jeff said, looking up at Sirius. "You're paying me back for that cereal. Those puffy marshmallows aren't cheap, you know."

"Again with the damn puns…" Sirius groaned, burying his face in his hands.

"Jeff, will you drop it?" Lutie snapped from her perch on the kitchen, where she was nibbling on a piece of fruit while she watched the scene unfold. "You don't even pay for that cereal, so why does it matter to you?"

"At any rate, Ashley dear," Remus said, getting up from his chair. "I'm heading out, myself; I have another job interview. If you like, I can escort you to your new office, and I can give you an explanation on the way."

Of course Ashley wasn't able to provide an answer, under the influence of the body-bind curse.

Jeff waved his hand in front of her eyes, "She says that's fine."

"How can you tell?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Ashley and I are childhood friends," Jeff said proudly. "Our bond is deep; we don't need words to communicate."

_I knew they had could read each other's minds,_ I thought, but I didn't want to let on that I knew."If you say so," I said calmly, waving my wand in the air. Ashley's invisible bonds were broken, and she scrambled to her feet, straightening her suit.

"Y-you didn't have to do that…" she said, her lower lip quivering.

"I'll be back in time for lunch, I think," Remus said, grabbing his suitcase off of the counter.

"Good luck," I said, standing up to kiss him goodbye.

"Thank you, Violet," he said, kissing me briefly. I giggled as he pulled away; his mustache had brushed across my lip at just the right angle. It was almost painful to watch him follow Ashley out the door; since the house wasn't on the Floo Network yet, they would have to walk to the nearby wizarding community to get to wherever they were going.

_He'll be back soon,_ I reminded myself as I sat back down.

"Aww, isn't that sweet?" Aria asked, breaking out of her bubble in the corner as she sat down in the chair Remus had just left empty, ready to be her normal, social self. "She gets so somber the second he leaves."

"Our daughter's in love," Jeff said dreamily.

"S-shut up," I stuttered, staring at my loafers.

"You should see the way her face lights up the second he walks into the room," Jeff told Sirius, draping his arm around his shoulder. He seemed to have forgotten that this was the man who had taken his cereal. "It's the cutest thing."

Sirius looked at Jeff skeptically, "Who are you?"

"Sirius, this is my friend, Jeff," I said flatly. "I apologize in advance for his outlandish behavior."

"Ah, so he's a guy, then?" Sirius said, still looking quite confused.

"Physically, I suppose," Jeff said, with that glimmer in his eyes that meant he was about to start ranting and raving. I groaned inwardly as he continued. "Though our bodily gender has nothing to do with the gender of our hearts, dear Sirius! While I do not feel comfortable with labels, society would call me a pansexual transvestite."

_They usually have a few more colorful words to call you,_ I thought, smiling to myself.

Lutie groaned, "What does that even _mean_?"

"It means, Lutie dear," Jeff said, happy to have an excuse to continue talking. "That I can find beauty in anyone, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. And – though my anatomy may be _very_ male – I identify better with the gentler sex, and prefer to dress in women's clothing. That being said, I also happen to enjoy romantic relationships with both genders, and everything in between; right now I am exclusive with the lovely Penelope Clearwater-"

Lutie rolled her eyes, "Don't you have somewhere you need to be?"

Jeff's face dropped, "Shit! I'm late for work!"

"You really should be more careful, Jeff," Aria scolded. "I know your hours are weird, but I made that schedule for you…"

"I've gotta go!" Jeff said, frantically grabbing his purse off the counter before he rushed out of the kitchen without a goodbye.

Sirius stared at Jeff's now empty chair, as if he couldn't comprehend what had just happened. Lutie, Moth, Aria and I watched him, wondering what was on his mind – what he would say. It was always difficult to predict someone's reaction to Jeff's… specialness.

At last, he cleared his throat, "Was that guy for real?

"Unfortunately," Lutie muttered darkly.

"Moth, could you please make me some toast?" Aria asked politely, smiling at her petite servant.

"Of course!" Moth said, bowing. "Moth will get started right away! It will be the best toast Moth has ever made!"

"Do you have anything I could feed Buckbeak?" Sirius inquired.

"Moth will see what she can find," Moth said, opening the refrigerator.

"Buckbeak?" Lutie said, cocking her head to the side with curiosity.

"The Hippogriff," Sirius explained, as if that should be obvious.

"Of course, it has a name," Lutie said dryly. "Whatever _it_ is."

"I'll show him to you later, if you like," Sirius told her, grinning evilly. "I bet a muggle would really get a kick out of it."

"_Don't_ call me that," she snapped, glaring daggers at Sirius as she hopped off of the counter. "I _hate_ that word. I never want to be called that again."

Sirius opened his mouth to apologize, but Lutie was quick to snuff him off. She pushed through the swinging door and stomped off to her room.

"I don't understand," he said. "What crawled up her butt and died?"

I sighed, "She's a little… moody these days. Don't take it too personally; she'll be over it in a few hours."

"Will these do?" Moth asked, placing a bag of raw steaks on the table.

_I think Uncle Jack bought those special,_ I thought, but I didn't say anything. I could always pay him back later.

"Those are fine," Sirius said, grabbing the bag. He offered me a wordless nod before he slipped out the back door.

"Oh! Miss Tate's toast!" Moth said, rushing back behind the counter. "Moth is sorry! Moth will make great haste!"

"He really is innocent…" Aria sighed, running her hand through her poofy blond hair. "Sirius Black is innocent, and now he's living in our house…"

"I know," I said, smiling awkwardly. "I can hardly believe it myself."

"And you're okay with this?" Aria asked me. "You don't have to tell me the whole story if you don't want to; I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I want this," I said, sounding determined. "I want to help him out as much as I can."

"Alright," Aria sighed. "If this is what you want, I'm here for you, Vi. I just hope you know what you're getting us in to…"

I grinned, "Thanks, Aria."

"Miss Carroll," Ms. McGuff said, poking her head into the kitchen. "There's someone here to see you; they're waiting in the living room."

_I really wish she'd go back to calling me Violet,_ I thought, getting up to meet my visitor. Standing in the living room was a man I had never seen before. He wore a nice suit, and new shoes that were polished so brightly that I could see my reflection in them. He had a wand tucked behind his ear.

"Hello, I'm Violet Carroll," I said, shaking the man's hand. "Can I help you with something?"

"Yes," he said pleasantly. "I saw your ad in _The Prophet_. Are there still rooms available?"

"Yes!" I said, my spirits lifting. More boarders would mean more income; this was like a gift from heaven. "Of course there are! We have tons of-"

_I can't rent out any more rooms,_ I suddenly realized, and I could feel every ounce of blood leaving my face. My stomach did one of its famous back flips, and I was glad that I had eaten a small breakfast. _Not with Sirius staying here._

"I'm sorry," I said miserably. "But there are no more rooms available."

"But you just said-"

"I was wrong," I interrupted. I was eager to get this stranger out of my house, before he saw something – or someone, rather – he shouldn't. "I'm sorry you came all this way."

"It's no trouble," he said, though I could tell by the look on his face that it was. I was relieved when he elected to show himself out.

I ran my hands through my hair, letting out a deep sigh, "This is going to be harder than I thought…"

When Sirius didn't return right away, I went out to look for him; having an escaped convict running around in your garden awakens a strange feeling of paranoia. After running several possibilities through my head – each more horrible and less likely than the last – I found him at the far edge of the garden, sitting next to a very large Hippogriff – Buckbeak, I assumed.

Buckbeak noticed my presence instantly, and before I knew it, he was on his feet, ready to charge me if I got any closer. I let out a yelp and stumbled backwards, nearly falling over.

"Easy, Buckbeak…" Sirius coaxed, holding onto the rope around the Hippogriff's neck.

"I-I'm sorry," I said, and – suddenly remembering what I'd read about Hippogriffs at some point during my seven years at Hogwarts – I bowed gracefully. I'd also read that Hippogriffs could sense fear; I shoved my hands in my pockets so Buckbeak couldn't see them shaking. This seemed to calm him down; he nodded at me before he returned to his spot next to Sirius, like a loyal lapdog.

"I didn't mean to frighten you," I said, sitting down on the grass in front of them. It was still damp from last night's rain.

"You didn't frighten me," Sirius said, smirking a little. He buried his skinny, tattooed fingers in Buckbeak's feathers. "Not everyone is as jumpy as you, Violet."

"I was talking Buckbeak," I said, smirking right back. "But how are you? Do you like it here?"

He sighed, "The atmosphere is a bit more… _wholesome_ than what I'm used to, I suppose. It's a little suffocating, when you've been on your own for so long. It's defiantly going to take some getting used."

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked.

"In all honesty, I'd feel much better if I had my own wand," he said, looking extremely guilty. "You have no idea how fundamental they are until yours is snapped in half; I feel so useless..."

"That isn't a big deal," I said, offering him a smile. "Wands cost what, seven Galleons these days? It's a bit steep, but-"

"You can't just go out and by a wand for someone else, Violet," Sirius reminded me, sounding a little bitter. "Sure, I'd probably be able to use it just fine, but it wouldn't be the same as having my _own._ The wand chooses the wizard, remember?"

"Oh yeah…" I said, tugging at the grass again. "I guess I didn't think about that."

"And it's not like I can go out in public," he continued, pointing to himself. "What with this face plastered on every street corner under the words _wanted fugitive _and all that."

"With _that_ face…" I repeated, a plan formulating in the back of my mind. I couldn't help but grin at my own brilliance.

"What?" Sirius said, sounding a little bit afraid. "Why are you looking at me like that? You're scaring me, Violet; what are you thinking about?"

I snickered, "I think I know how we can get you into that wand shop…"


	54. Chapter 54

"Violet, for the love of all things good and holy, what _are_ you doing over there?" Uncle Jack asked as he wandered into the living room, with a rather large glass of brandy in his hand.

"I'm stewing lacewing flies," I said. My free hand was pinching my nose, causing my voice to sound as if I had suddenly come down with a horrid cold. I stirred the mixture, fighting off the urge to gag. "It's a lot cheaper if you do it yourself."

"How long is that going to take?" Lutie asked, coughing. "Jesus…"

"Twenty-one days," I said, earning an instant groan from everyone in the room. "But the book says that the smell wears off after a couple of hours. Then once they're finished, I can start adding the rest of the ingredients."

Sirius groaned with frustration, "This is going to take _forever…_"

"I told you, Polyjuice Potion takes at least two months to brew properly," I said, hanging the ladle up in its proper place. "If you want to get your wand, you'll have to be patient."

The living room had officially become my potion-making-station; it had the only fireplace big enough for two cauldrons. I would need both of them when I started making potions for Aria's business, which was set to open in a few weeks. But if she was nervous about it, she didn't show it. In fact, she squealed with excitement whenever she thought about it.

"Is it going to be safe?" Sirius asked, peering over at the fireplace. "To drink, I mean."

"Of course it'll be safe," I said, feeling slightly offended as I returned to the game table. "What, do you think I'm going to poison you?"

"Violet is a very skilled witch, Padfoot," Remus said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "And she's an excellent at brewing potions. You have nothing to worry about."

"I'm alright…" I said modestly, leaning into his embrace.

"Oh, Violet!" Sirius said, jumping to his feet. He smirked as he grabbed onto Aria's delicate hand. "You're such a fantastic little housewife! I don't know how I've lived so long without you!"

"Oh, Remus," Aria cooed, turning away from Sirius with fake bashfulness. "You're so charming; I don't know what to do with myself when I'm around you. I find myself thinking of _unspeakable_ things…"

Sirius cupped Aria's face in his hands, looking at her with a passion that could have almost been real, "My dear, I know exactly what you mean. Whenever I see you, I just want to drag you into a dark room and shag you senseless for hours on end."

Aria blushed at this erotic suggestion, but she quickly remembered what she was doing, and she snapped back into character. "Remus, though I'm an innocent little flower, I've always longed for you to ravish me-"

"S-s-stop that," I stammered, blushing furiously.

"Yes, _please_," Remus pleaded, messing with his tie apprehensively. The fact that he was blushing only made me feel more self-conscious. "Besides, we don't really sound like that… Do we?"

"No," I answered quickly. "Of course we don't sound like that."

"I don't know," Lutie said, smirking. "That was pretty close, actually."

"Thank you, Lutie," Sirius said, bowing before he sat back down. "I'm glad someone appreciates my sense of humor."

"I never said that," Lutie said flatly. "In fact, most of the time I find you utterly repulsive."

"Awww, shucks," he said, waving her off. "You flatter me."

"No, you two had it all wrong," Ashley said, crossing her arms. "Vi-Vi and Lu-Lu are both very smart, so they use bigger words; like 'intercourse' and-"

"Lu-Lu?!" Sirius shouted, erupting with laughter.

"Yes," Ashley said, frowning. "Lu-Lu."

"Oh, that's fantastic!" Sirius said between fits of giggles. "I'm never going to let you live _that_ down, Moony. Never!"

Remus rubbed his temple, "Can we _please_ just play the game?"

"Aww," Sirius pouted. "Is Lu-Lu a shy cradle robber?"

"I'm not a…" Remus started, looking at me for support. I tried to say something, but when I opened my mouth I found that my throat had once again closed itself off.

"It isn't _entirely_ your fault, Lu-Lu," Ashley said, causing Sirius to burst into another laughing fit. "My daughter _is_ adorable, _especially_ when she's all flustered like this."

"I'm n-not flustered…" I mumbled.

"I think it's time we got back to our game," Uncle Jack announced in his booming voice. He sat the now-empty glass of alcohol down on the table. Clearly, my sex life wasn't something he wanted to hear about.

"Yes," Remus agreed, looking quite relieved. "That's a wonderful idea. I believe it was Lutie's turn, correct?"

"Yup," Lutie said, smacking her lips together as she rolled the dice and moved her game piece.

"Ha, that's my property!" Sirius said triumphantly. "That'll be seventy-five dollars."

Lutie muttered darkly as she handed Sirius the colorful, paper money. He cackled as he sorted it into his own cash stash.

"I love _Monopoly_," he said, looking quite content.

"We'll see how much you like it when you're begging me for mercy," I said, rolling the dice. Board games always brought out my competitive edge. "No one owns Park Place yet, do they?"

Uncle Jack – who was always the banker – shook his head, "Nope, it's free. You interested?"

I sighed helplessly, "I think I'm a little short…"

"Here, I can spot you some cash," Remus said, sliding a tiny stack of bills in my direction.

"Thanks," I said, gratefully accepting his offer.

He grinned, "Consider it a token of my affection."

"Hey, you can't do that!" Ashley whined. "That's not fair!"

"It's his money," Uncle Jack shrugged, taking the fake cash in exchange for the dead to Park Place. "He can do whatever he likes with it."

"I agree with Ashley," Sirius said, banging his fist on the table. "We almost had Violet beat, and now she owns one of the most expensive properties in the game – and she couldn't even _afford _it!"

"You guys get really into this, huh?" Lutie said absently.

"Yeah," Remus said, a smirk slowly creeping across his face. "I'll never understand why you always take games like these so _serious._"

I ruptured into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, nearly falling out of the chair. Word play, when done correctly, tickled me in a way nothing else could. _Of course_, I thought. _Sirius-serious. Why didn't I realize that before? _"That's bloody brilliant!"

I wasn't the only one who thought it was funny. Lutie snickered and snorted, trying to hide the fact that she was actually enjoying herself in the company of other people. Uncle Jack's laughter dominated the room, and Remus and Aria both giggled elegantly. Ashley, on the other hand, seemed utterly confused.

"What?" she said. "What's so funny?"

"Moony," Sirius snarled, glaring across the table. "I swear…"

"Well, you asked for it," Remus said, giving me a brief squeeze. "Consider it my revenge for mocking my relationship with Violet."

"Whatever!" Ashley shrieked. "The point is, you can't go around buying properties for your lover! That isn't fair to us single folks!"

"Fine," I said, sighing away the last of my laughter. "Let's just make it a timeshare, then."

Lutie rolled her eyes, "There aren't any timeshares in _Monopoly_…"

"I don't see why you're all so worried about it," Uncle Jack said, cracking his knuckles. "I'm going to own everything before the game is finished."

"How are you going to swing that?" Sirius asked. "You're just the banker; you don't even have a piece on the board."

"That's never stopped him before," I sighed. "He always wins in the end."

Aria nodded, "It's true. Last summer, we played a really rigorous game that went on for weeks. By the time it was over, Uncle Jack owned half the _house_."

My uncle snickered, "Mora should have known better than to bet against me."

"Ah, this is true," Jeff said, leaning against Uncle Jack. "Jacky Boy is the greatest businessman who has ever lived."

"Jeffey!" Ashley squealed, throwing herself at the new arrival. "You're back! I missed you so much!"

"Yes," Jeff said, hugging her back. "I have returned from a lovely evening with the wonderful woman who gave birth to me. Ah, what a gal."

"Are things going well with your parents?" I asked, forcing out a smile. I still had a bad feeling about them, though I wasn't quite sure why. Ever since graduation, Jeff had been spending more time with his parents, and the rift between the family seemed to be closing rapidly. Yet, I couldn't help but feel uneasy…

He nodded, "We went out for dinner, and I helped Mummy pick out shoes for the big party next week!"

"Big party?" Ashley gasped. "What big party?"

"A big party for _me_!" Jeff squealed, throwing his arms into the air. "To celebrate my graduation! And I can bring whoever I want! You're all invited, of course. Oh, I'm so excited, I can't sit still!"

"What else is new?" Lutie grumbled.

"That sounds like fun," Aria said pleasantly. "Is this going to be a formal affair?"

"Yup!" said Jeff. "And there's going to be fancy food and fancy drinks and fancy presents! You're all coming, right?"

"Of course!" Aria and Ashley said together.

I nodded "Sure."

"No," Lutie said. Her face twisted as I kicked her shin underneath the table. "I mean, yeah. Sounds lovely."

"Oh, but what's this you're doing here?" Jeff asked, his attention quickly diverted by the bright colors of the game board.

"_Monopoly_," Lutie said. "What does it look like?"

"Ohhh! Can I play?" Jeff asked with bright eyes.

"Sure!" Ashley said, clapping her hands together. "But you'll have to be on my team, since we're out of game pieces…"

Our game lasted well into the night, but it ended just as I predicted: somehow, Uncle Jack managed to acquire every property on the board, despite the fact that he wasn't _really_ playing.

_At least everyone's getting along alright these days,_ I thought to myself as I lit a tiny fire in the fireplace. It still got unbelievably cold at night, and the fire was needed to keep Remus and I warm while we slept. _Ms. McGuff seems to be the only one who's still frightened of Sirius; though it doesn't help that he hides in closets and waits for her to walk by so he can jump out and terrify her…_

_And having him here took some of the heat off of Remus,_ I realized as I buttoned my PJs. _Lutie doesn't even complain about him anymore…_

"Hello, Violet," Remus said, causing me to jump. When I turned around, I found him leaning against the doorframe, with a mischievous smirk plastered across his face. His shirt was untucked, and his hair dangled in front of his eyes in a way that made him look dangerously handsome. My heart leapt with excitement at the thought of sharing a bed with him.

I laughed nervously, "Good evening."

I gasped when the room suddenly went dark; the fire and the kerosene lamps were all suddenly doused into nothing. I started shaking like mad as I heard the door creak shut. In the sudden blanket of darkness, I couldn't see an inch in front of my face.

"R-remus…?" I hissed. "Are you still there? Remus?"

I probably would have screamed when I felt Remus wrap his arms around me, but his mouth stifled any sound that was about to come out of mine. All of my fear melted away as he kissed me. His chapped lips parted slowly, inviting me inside. My eyelids fluttered closed as my tongue set out on its journey, slowly moving past my lips. It was greeted instantly by his tongue, which eagerly made room for its guest. His tongue brushed across mine slowly and tenderly, while his hands tangled themselves in my hair; it was all I could do not to lose control.

After some time, Remus slowly led my tongue back into my mouth, his lips lingering over mine for a few moments before he moved on. He left a trail of cute, innocent kisses down to my neck, where he stopped to nibble and suck on the exposed skin. His hands floated down to my hips, where they rested gently.

"That feels so good," I moaned, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. I felt so unsteady that I was sure I would fall over if Remus wasn't there to support me. I threaded my fingers through his gray-speckled hair; my eyes were finally starting to adjust to the dark.

"I don't understand why you feel the need to put on pajamas," Remus said, his mustache brushing against my raw skin when he spoke. I had to bite down on my lip to keep from giggling. "When you _know_ I'm going to rip them off of you as soon as you get between the sheets."

My face burned so intensely that I'm surprised the whole room didn't light up. Remus chuckled, smoothly pushing my pajama pants off with his large, strong hands.

"It's such a shame," he whispered into my ear. "Hiding this beautiful body underneath clothing. I don't know how you can live with yourself."

_It isn't _that_ incredible,_ I thought, my blush deepening. "I think its better this w-way," I said, shaking like crazy. I moved my hands so they framed his face, which I could just barely see. "It's something only you get to see; something just for my kind, gentle lover."

"Yes," Remus said, kissing me again. This kiss had a sense of urgency to it, and he wasted no time exploring my mouth while his fingers danced along my freshly exposed thighs. My shaky hands struggled with the tiny buttons on his shirt; it felt like ages before I had them all unbuttoned.

"It seems so unfair, doesn't it?" he asked, panting as he released my lips. "That _I_ get to tumble into bed with _you_ every night…"

"Don't talk like that," I said, my voice quivering as I pushed his shirt open. I gazed at his pale, scarred skin, as if it were a masterpiece – arguably, it could be considered one. I placed my hands on his chest, tracing some of the more prominent scars. "I love your body, Remus; you know I do…"

"You do?" he said, sounding just as breathless as I was.

"Of course I do!" I said, closing the tiny gap between us as I kissed his chest; delicately at first, but my kisses quickly became heated and sloppy. "I can't get enough of you… Your body's so warm and inviting. I-I…" I swallowed, blushing more than ever. "I _love_ how you feel on top of me, Remus."

"I love how _you_ feel, Violet," he whispered, cupping my face in his hands and forcing me to look up into his gorgeous eyes. "You're so soft…"

"I-I-I am?" I stuttered dumbly.

"Mhm," he murmured, kissing me as he pushed me towards the bed. We collapsed onto the mattress together, causing the antique bed frame to squeak underneath our weight. "Sirius was right; I don't know how I've gone so long without you, and I fully intend on making love to you for _hours_…"

My heart skipped a beat, "Remus-"

"Shhh," he said, placing a callused finger over my lips. "Please, I need to take you right now, or I'll completely lose my mind."

"Do it," I whispered, holding onto him tightly. My whole body was trembling with anticipation. "I'm all yours for the taking…"


	55. Chapter 55

The evening of Jeff's party arrived sooner than any of us had anticipated. Jeff was too busy making sure he and Penelope's dresses matched to offer me any assistance, so I was left to fend for myself. I ended up changing five times before I decided to go with the dress I had worn to graduation; the knee-length, strapless white dress printed with violets. I wore a purple cardigan sweater over that, and matched my headband and shoes accordingly. The pearl necklace Remus gave me for Christmas was draped around my neck, and the matching earrings dangled from my earlobes.

"I think I'm ready," I said at last, turning around slowly. "Do I look alright? Do you think this is fancy enough?"

"You look gorgeous," he said, smiling as he walked over and grabbed onto my hands. He was wearing his best suit – a brown one, with only four or five patches – and I had helped him tie his tie just right. He kissed my forehead, "It will be a privilege to escort the most beautiful woman at the party."

I laughed nervously, "I was under the impression that you were accompanying _me_…"

"I am," he said, slowly leading me down to the living room. The gentleness in his voice made me almost believe it; until I saw Aria.

She and Eddie were already waiting in the living room. Her wild curls had been tamed, and tumbled down her back and shoulders elegantly. Her midnight blue dress clung to her slender frame, and her feet were covered by simple, open-toed black pumps. Eddie didn't look bad, either. His hair was combed and gelled back, and his gray suit was paired with a vest and bowtie that matched Aria's dress.

The couple wasn't alone; Nana was in her rocker, knitting wildly, and Sirius – in his canine form – was curled up by the fireplace, pretending to sleep. His head jerked up as Remus and I reached the bottom of the steps.

"Well well well," Eddie said, smirking at us. "Look what we have here…"

"Hello, Eddie," I said, blushing slightly. I had been mentally preparing myself all day for this: facing classmates now that my relationship was out in the open. The moment I saw Eddie, I realized that it was all useless.

Remus squeezed my hand gently, as if to remind me that I wasn't alone. "It's nice to see you again, Mr. Carmichael."

The look on Eddie's face suggested that the taunting had only just begun. He looked up at us from his spot on the sofa, grinning like a maniac, "I have to say, I was a bit surprised when you two started snogging on the platform. I mean, who would have thought; Professor Lupin was banging a student."

I blushed furiously, _Eddie, for the love of all things decent; shut the hell up._

Remus rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm sure you're… Over-eroticizing."

Of course, Eddie could always be counted upon to keep going until someone hexed him. Despite the dirty looks he was receiving from Aria and I, he continued. "And not just _any_ student; but stuffy, crabby old _Violet_! My mates and I thought you would have had better taste."

_I'm not stuffy,_ I thought, biting down on my lip.

Remus must have felt my hand shaking inside his, because he tightened his grip. He cleared his throat, "Violet isn't stuffy or crabby at all. In fact, I happen to find her quite… endearing."

"Well, she isn't like that _anymore_," said Eddie, flashing a thumbs-up. "And now we all know why. Thanks a lot, Professor."

"Eddie, _shut up_!" I snapped, my blood boiling. Sirius started growling from his spot by the fireplace; knowing that I had that huge animal on my side made me feel more confidant.

"You are being a little rude, dear," Aria said gently.

"I'm just saying," Eddie said innocently. "It defiantly explains why Violet got nice all of a sudden."

"You have to understand, Mr. Carmichael…" Remus said, though he was looking at me while he spoke. He caressed my face, smiling down at me. "Sex isn't _entirely_ about physical pleasure. It should be an act of love."

I couldn't stop myself from grinning. _He loves me so much,_ I thought. _I can't believe how sweet he is… _

Eddie – in his tradition of ruining everything – gagged, "Love? With _Violet_?!"

"Of course," Remus said, not taking his eyes off of me as he pulled me close. "I love her very much."

"I love you, too," I whispered wobbly.

"To each his own, I suppose," Eddie sighed, kissing Aria on the cheek. "I'll always prefer my beautiful Ari."

_Most men would,_ I thought as I looked at my best friend, thankful that the term 'green with envy' was purely figurative. Aria always looked so elegant, even when she wasn't trying. And when she _was_ trying, no other woman could even hope to stand a chance. Eddie was a very lucky guy; I hoped he cared for her the way Remus cared for me.

"But she isn't as pretty as me!" Ashley said, dancing into the room. Her hair was pulled into her signature pigtails, which were juxtaposed to the little black cocktail dress that clung to her curvy figure. It was hard to imagine her the way she looked only hours before; coming home from her job at the Ministry's law office wearing a professional suit and shoes that weren't covered with tiny fake gems.

Lutie followed after her, looking much less enthusiastic. Her baby-pink dress was a great deal more conservative than Ashley's, and covered her bony knees and freckled shoulders.

"That's a beautiful dress, Lutie," Remus said kindly, in an attempt to cheer her up. She had been brooding all day.

"It's ugly as sin, and I don't even want to go to this damn party in the first place," she grumbled, slumping down on the sofa.

"I'm sure you'll have fun," I said, though I was actually quite positive that Lutie would be miserable.

"Luna is going to be there," Aria said. "She's about your age; maybe the two of you could hang out together..."

Ashley gasped, "Lutie and Luna! It's like you're destined to be best friends!"

"… Yeah, sure," Lutie said flatly. "Even though we've never met and probably have nothing in common."

"Alright everyone! We are ready." Jeff said loudly as he entered the room, with Penny clinging to one of his arms. The both wore sky-blue dresses; Jeff's showed off more of his harry, muscular legs than any of us really wanted to see. The shiny tiara that decorated his head made him look like a princess.

Penelope was just as beautiful. Her long, dark hair was tied up into a complicated bun (probably by her gender-confused prince), and she sparkled in a way that only a young woman in love could. I wondered briefly if that's how I looked…

Jeff's eyes fell on Remus and I with disapproval, "What the _hell_ is wrong with you two?!"

"What do you mean?" Remus asked, giving me a brief squeeze.

"Why aren't you matching?" Jeff spat, as if he were truly offended.

I blinked, "We were supposed to match? No one said anything…"

"Violet, look around," he said. "Everyone else is matching, aren't they?"

"I'm terribly sorry, Jeffery," Remus said, and I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or serious. "We must have missed the memo."

"Everyone knows couples are supposed to match for formal occasions," Ashley said proudly. "It goes without being said."

"I've never heard of that before," I said.

"Well, you've never had anyone crazy enough to actually _go_ with you," Eddie snickered, earning him a little snarl from Sirius and a shove from Aria.

"I've never really heard of that, either," Remus said, squeezing me again. "But I've never been much of a socialite."

"The practice must have come about after the stone age…" Jeff pondered aloud.

"I think you both look really nice," Penelope said, smiling awkwardly at us. I wasn't sure how she would feel about my relationship with my (former) professor; though I had never been very close with Penny, I always had the impression that she was a little old-fashioned. But she _was_ dating Jeff, so perhaps she was more open-minded than I originally gave her credit for.

"Thank you, Miss Clearwater," Remus said thankfully.

"Yeah," I said, smiling back at her. "You're gorgeous, as well."

"Oh, no…" she said modestly. "I'm not all that…"

"Isn't she a darling thing?" Jeff squealed, pinching her cheek. "Couldn't you just eat her up?"

_I don't understand how someone as docile as Penelope could date Percy for so long,_ I thought. _Or how she ended up with a spaz like Jeff…_

"Alright," Eddie said, clapping his hands together. "Shall we get going?"

"Wait! We can't leave yet!" Ashley said quickly. "My date isn't here yet!"

"You have a date?" Jeff, Aria, Eddie, and I asked together.

Ashley crossed her arms, glaring at us, "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, my dear," Aria said politely. "We merely suggest that we had no idea you were bringing a date, that's all."

"Who is it?" I asked, very curious. Normally, Ashley's love life was an open book. It wasn't like her to make a date and keep it quiet. "Is it someone we know?"

She giggled, "You'll see…"

"Well, whoever it is, he's late," I said, glancing at the grandfather clock. "We should have left by now."

"I'm terribly sorry, Violet," Stephen said as he reached the bottom step. "I know you're a stickler when it comes to time, but I just couldn't get this tie on right…"

"You look fantastic, my pet," Ashley said, prancing over to the young poet – who was, for a change, clean shaven and freshly bathed – and gave him a hug. Next to Stephen, Ashley looked even shorter and rounder; he had to bend down to kiss her.

"So do you," Stephen said, adjusting his glasses. His bony cheeks turned a bright shade of red.

"You're bringing _Stephen_?" I said, not sure if I really believed it. He was so far from her usual type that it almost had to be a joke.

"Mhm!" Ashley squealed. "Doesn't he look adorable all dressed up?"

"He really does," Jeff said, wagging his eyebrows. "Nice play, Steph 'ol chap."

"Um… thanks," Stephen said shyly. The more I thought about it, the more I was sure the twenty-three year old had never been on a date before in his entire life. His social skills were somewhat lacking.

"I think you look cute together," Aria said sweetly.

"Yeah," Eddie agreed. "You've got that weird, opposites-attract thing going on."

_No kidding,_ I thought, hoping that Ashley wouldn't get bored of Stephen and end up breaking his heart. Those suffering artist types could be very sensitive.

"Well, I think we're all here now," Remus said, shooting one longing glance at Sirius – who was obviously upset that he couldn't attend. He'd been moping around all day. "Shall we head up to the library?"

I nodded, "Yes, we should probably leave; we're already late…"

Ashley giggled, "Oh Vi-Vi, you always get all worried if you're not early for everything."

"I just like being punctual," I defended, grabbing Remus by the hand as we marched up to the library in one huge group. Sirius followed us, nipping at Eddie's ankles.

"I don't think your dog likes me very much," Eddie whispered to me when we reached the top of the staircase.

I smirked, "He's an excellent judge of character."

Remus snorted, having to bite down on his lip to keep from laughing. Aria covered her mouth with her dainty, gloved hand while she chuckled. Sirius barked at me with approval.

Eddie rolled his eyes, "Good one, Vi."

"It's my party, so I get to go first," Jeff said, grabbing a handful of Floo Powder out of the jar; having the library fireplace hooked up to the Floo Network made getting around a lot easier. Jeff threw the powder into the fake-flames, turning them a brilliant shade of green. Lutie and Stephen both gasped as he walked into the fire.

"He doesn't get burnt?" Stephen said in disbelief.

"Nope," Ashley said cheerfully. "You just shout the name of your destination and the Floo Network takes you there. Convenient, huh?"

"Interesting…" he said, scratching his chin.

"The Flanders' Family Estate!" Jeff said loudly, and the green flames engulfed him.

"Penny should go next," Ashley said, shoving her forward. "Jeffey needs his lady."

"R-right," Penelope said, stepping forward. Once she was inside the fireplace, she tucked her arms tightly to her sides as she said, "The Flanders' Family Estate."

We followed after her one by one. Remus accompanied Lutie into the fire; she was afraid to go by herself, though she wouldn't admit it. After the two of them disappeared, I was left alone with Sirius.

I scratched his ears affectionately, "We'll be back soon."

He nudged me towards the fireplace, yipping a goodbye as I stepped into the heatless flames. I felt guilty about leaving him behind, but what else could be done?

I stood up straight and ridged, clearing my throat before I said, "The Flanders' Family Estate."

I suddenly remembered why I was never a big fan of traveling by Floo Powder. My stomach flipped around like jelly as various other fireplaces sped in and out of view. I closed my eyes tightly, hoping that would help. It didn't; I nearly vomited as I reached the end of my trip, almost stumbling over as I flew out of the exit.

"Watch out!" I heard someone say, and I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder, steadying me. When I opened my eyes, I saw Remus standing next to me, offering me a kind – yet worried – smile.

"Thank you," I said, smiling back at him.

"I was waiting for you," he informed me. "Everyone else went on into the main room already. Are you alright?"

"Never felt better," I said, taking a deep breath. "You didn't have to wait for me…"

"Nonsense," he said, kissing the top of my head. "I'm your escort; it's my duty to walk in with you. Besides…" he looked around, as if to make sure we were truly alone before he continued. "After catching a glimpse of some of the other guests, I've come to realize that I am grossly underdressed. I'd be too embarrassed to walk in by myself."

"You look fine," I assured him, tucking his hair into place – even though I knew it would just fall again. "Thank you for waiting, Remus."

"I'd wait for you forever," he whispered, kissing me briefly before he offered me his arm. I clung to it tightly, in an attempt to steady my shaky hands.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Remus asked.

"Just… feeling like we're about to walk into a snake pit," I said with a gulp.

"I know what you mean," he said, placing his hand over mine. "I'm sure we'll get a bunch of dirty looks; a freshly-graduated witch being escorted by her former professor, whose werewolf status was just made public."

I laughed nervously, "We're not exactly orthodox, are we?"

"I suppose not," he shrugged, as if it no longer bothered him.

"But it isn't just that," I said. "I've always gotten this weird feeling about Jeff's family. Something about this whole business just doesn't feel right."

I half expected Remus to tell me I was being silly, but instead he rubbed the back of my hand with the pad of his thumb gently as he said, "I'll be here with you the entire time, I promise. I won't let anything happen to you."

"Right," I said, nodding as we walked into the ballroom. "We'll be fine as long as we stick together."

I too felt extremely underdressed the second we stepped into the room. There were fewer people my own age than I had expected; most of the guests looked older than Remus. Most of them wore gorgeous dress robes that probably cost more than I could ever dream of making in a lifetime. The decorations were lavish: ice sculptures and rosebushes cut into the shapes of the Ravenclaw eagle were scattered about the room. A large orchestra – consisting of at least fifty musicians and every type of instrument I had ever heard of – was set up in the corner, belting out tunes for partygoers to dance to. The walls were all made of glass, giving us an excellent view of the garden outside.

Almost a hundred guests had arrived already, yet the large ballroom wasn't the least bit crowded. It was easy to spot the other members of our group. Jeff was introducing Penelope to his parents; I could see the blush on her face from clear across the room, but both of Jeff's parents were nodding at her approvingly. Ashley was just where I'd expected her to be; by the table of food, shoving treats into her mouth. Stephen stood next to her, eyeing the people around him with awe. Aria and Eddie were already dancing, looking like the perfect young couple.

It took me a little bit longer to spot Lutie. I actually noticed Luna first, in her crazy orange dress and otherworldly hairstyle. She was gesturing wildly as she spoke, not only to Lutie, but another pair of youngsters as well. The female had short, black hair, and was turning her nose up at Luna while she ranted. The boy was looking down at the little oddball, in a very condescending fashion. Lutie was looking around, probably for an excuse to slip out of the conversation. Luna didn't seem to notice any of this, however, and continued to babble away.

"No one's looking at us," I whispered. "That's good, right?"

Remus nodded, "Yes. With luck, we'll be able to get through this evening without anyone knowing we're here."

I chuckled, "Would you like to dance, at least?"

He smiled, "I would be honored, Viol-"

"Remus?" I heard a strange voice gasp behind me. "Remus Lupin? Is that you?"

Remus looked up, his face flushing with surprise, "Maria?"

I turned around quickly to see who exactly this Maria-person was, and when I saw her, my jaw nearly hit the floor. Standing in front of us was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She appeared to be in her early thirties, and was tall – only a few inches shorter than Remus – with thick black hair and tanned skin. Her legs looked as if they could be a kilometer long, and her tiny red dress could barely contain her large – too huge to be real - breasts. She spoke with a thick Italian accent. Everything about her was exotic and sexy.

I'd never felt so homely before in my entire life. I always knew that I was very lucky to have a man like Remus; who loved me and cared for me deeply. Looking at this woman, it seemed impossible that any man could ever even look at me.

"It's been so long!" she said, unable to disguise her happiness. Her long fingers reached out and toyed with his lapel fondly. "How are you?"

"I'm doing just fine," He glanced down at me – it was his turn to draw some support from my presence – and said, "I've actually never been better… How are you, Maria? You look…" he glanced at me again, clearing his throat. "_healthy._"

Maria looked at me, as if she hadn't noticed me before, "Who is this, Remus? Is she a relative of yours?"

"Oh, no; this is Violet," Remus said, placing his hand on my shoulder. I had expected him to be at least a little embarrassed – he was always flustered when our close friends teased us – but now he looked almost cocky as he introduced me. "Violet, this is Maria Dolohov."

"Remus and I used to be very close," she said, sounding very proud of herself as she confirmed my suspicion that she was a former girlfriend. She laughed lightheartedly, "Though he quickly got bored of me."

He cleared his throat again, "If I remember correctly, Maria, _you_ were the one who got bored of me."

She giggled, "Nonsense; who could _ever_ get bored of you? You're so charming…"

Remus laughed nervously, his cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink. My heart felt heavy, and I hid my hands behind my back so this Maria couldn't see them shaking. I'd never felt so childish before. How could Remus possibly want _me_, when this beautiful creature was so obviously flirting with him?

"Do you think I could bother you for a dance, Remus?" Maria asked sweetly, batting her unnaturally long eyelashes while I fantasized about beating her senseless.

He scratched the back of his neck, "Actually, Violet and I were just about to…"

"Oh," she said, her face dropping instantly. She shot a quick glare in my direction, as if she suddenly thought of me as a threat. "I see. So you're-"

"Yes," he said quickly.

"Oh… Perhaps later, then?" Maria said, with just a glimmer of hope.

"Perhaps," Remus said, sounding more than a tad reluctant. He wrapped his arm around my waist, giving Maria a polite nod before he led me out onto the dance floor.

I probably would have stood as ridged as a statue if Remus hadn't been there to guide my movements; we spun around the dance floor wordlessly for quite some time, not paying much attention to the tempo of the music. Every once and a while, I would try to make eye contact, but his gaze was wandering around the room wildly, as if he was looking for something – or someone.

_He's thinking about her,_ I knew, wanting to cry. _I'll never be that pretty. How could I possibly stand a chance?_

"Violet," he said, looking down at me at last. His face was pale with fright, and he pulled me closer as we continued do weave our way through the other dancers.

"What?" I asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Remember what you said earlier, about walking into the snake pit?" he said, staring at me intently, as if this was a matter of life and death.

"Y-yes," I stuttered. "Remus, what's going on? You're scaring me…"

"Well, that analogy seems to be very appropriate," he said gravely.

I swallowed, "What-"

He leaned forward, whispering into my ear, "Over half of the people in this room used to be Death Eaters."


	56. Chapter 56

I swallowed, feeling all the blood drain from my face. A small part of me couldn't help but feel relieved that Remus wasn't scanning the crowd for Maria, but that wasn't enough to consol the much larger part of me that was completely horrified.

"A-a-are you s-sure?" I stammered quietly. "H-how can you tell?"

"I recognize them," he said, his eyes darting around as if he were afraid that they recognized him, as well. "Normally, they would duel with their masks on, but towards the end of the war, many of them got cocky and did Voldemort's bidding in the open."

My eyes widened, "You… You've fought Death Eaters?"

"Yes," said Remus. "Sirius, James, Lily and I were all part of the opposition. And now that I think about it, I testified at Wizengamont against a Cynthia Flanders, who got out of a prison sentence by claiming that she was under the control of the Imperius Curse."

"Jeff's mother," I breathed. "Oh no, it'll break his heart when he finds out."

"And then there's that man, over there," Remus said, nodding to the right. I glanced over and saw a tall, older man, with a pointed face and long, pale hair. He had his arms around a woman who was about his height, and so skinny she looked almost sick. "That's Lucius Malfoy. He was part of the Dark Lord's inner circle. And Maria's husband is doing time in Azkaban for torturing muggles."

My eyes widened with a sudden realization, "Remus… We brought _muggles_ to a Death Eater party!"

"Shhh," Remus hissed. "We have to stay calm-"

"Shut up!" I heard Lutie scream. Everyone in the room was suddenly silent – even the orchestra stopped playing – and every head turned just in time to see Lutie push the black-haired girl she had been chatting with. She landed flat on her back, letting out a tiny cry as she hit the marble floor. Luna backed away from the scene, looking absolutely mortified.

_Oh no…_ I thought. My whole body was trembling.

"I told you not to call me that!" Lutie yelled at the girl. "You think you're so much better than me, just because you can do some stupid magic tricks!"

"How _dare_ you lay a hand on Pansy?" the blond boy snapped, reaching for his wand. "I'll show you!"

"No! Lutie!" I cried helplessly as I watched a stream of green light erupt from the tip of his wand. Remus tried to hold me back, but I'd already kicked off, running towards Lutie, expecting the worst. She was on her knees, holding her stomach.

I gulped, "L-lutie? Are you alright?"

A painful, gurgling sound came from her stomach, and when she opened her mouth, she spat out a huge, gray slug.

"Oh no!" Jeff gasped, bending down beside us. He picked up the slug, cradling it in his hands as if it were something beautiful and delicate. "The poor dear… Luna! Fetch me a bucket for our new friend!"

"Yes, sir!" Luna said, saluting before she disappeared into the crowd.

"You idiot-" Lutie started, spitting up another slug before she could finish the rest of her insult.

My gaze darted up to the boy, who was now attempting to help his accomplice stand. My heart pounding with rage, and – completely forgetting the company we were in – I pulled out my wand, casting my own jinx. "Flipendo!"

The jinx didn't have as much power as I had expected – I always forgot that I none of my old "umph" when it came to jinxes – but the boy was still sent stumbling backwards. He slid across the freshly polished marble floors like a bowling ball.

Lutie gagged as she coughed up another slug. Jeff scrambled to pick the nasty green thing up off of the floor; the others were already crawling around on his neck and shoulders.

The girl had staggered to her feet; the smirk on her face suggested that she knew just how much her curse would get under my skin, "Serpensortia!"

I let out a loud, blood-curdling scream as a long, black snake slithered out of her wand. It looked at me with its tiny, moving towards me with a hiss. I screamed again, backing up quickly and forgetting that Lutie was behind me. I flipped over her – giving the entire party a beautiful view of my panties, I'm sure – and landed on my back. Lutie spat out another slug as I scrambled to straighten my dress. The girl was laughing hysterically.

"I remember you," she said darkly. "That stingy, mudblood prefect who couldn't take a joke."

I remembered her; during my first year as a prefect, I had taken fifteen points from her house – Slytherin – when I caught her jinxing a chubby Hufflepuff girl. The following year – when I was constantly jumping at the sight of my own shadow – she was part of a little gang lead by Georgia Harris who constantly hid behind corners and waited for me to walk by, so they could jump out and frighten me.

At the moment, the recollection was only a passing thought. My primary concern was the frightening-looking snake that was eyeing Jeff, Lutie, and I. Even Jeff, who normally loved animals of all sorts, looked utterly terrified. Lutie violently coughed up another slug.

Another spell shot across the room, and Lutie and I both shrieked as it sped past us. The stream of red light struck the snake, causing it to crumble into dust right before our eyes.

"Violet," Remus breathed, offering me his hand. Just hearing him say my name was comforting, but I was still trembling as he pulled me onto my feet. I clung to him, feeling both silly and safe.

He wrapped an arm around me; he was glaring at the girl sternly. "Miss Parkinson-"

"Don't talk to me like I'm still your student, you filthy half-breed!" she spat.

"I'd heard a rumor that you'd taken up with a student," the blond boy scoffed as he rejoined us. His perfect hair had been disheveled from his fall. "Dumbledore should have known better than to let _you_ into the school."

"But I suppose it's of no consequence," Pansy Parkinson shrugged. "She's just a filthy mudblood, after all. She's just about as worthless as he is."

Remus lifted his wand-arm, and both children suddenly went white with fright. He opened his mouth to say something when Luna suddenly reappeared, a large tin pail in her hand.

"Here's the bucket, sir!" she said brightly, holding it up to Jeff.

"Thank you, my pet," he said, peeling one of the slugs off of his shoulder and placing it gently into the pail.

"Give that here!" Lutie demanded, grabbing onto the bucket and pulling it down to here level, just in time for her to spit another slug into it.

"Remus Lupin," a velvety, aristocratic voice greeted mockingly. My stomach turned as the man Remus had called Lucius Malfoy approached us. He looked just as smug as the boy; their physical resemblance and the way he rested his hand on the boy's shoulder suggested that he was his son. "No need to use force; it's only a _children's_ squabble, after all."

The way his silvery eyes rested on me made me shiver. Even if I didn't know that this man used to work for Voldemort, I'm sure I would have been just as frightened.

Remus tightened his hold on me, "I'm sure Lutie here doesn't feel that way. Your son's put quite the curse on her."

Lucius looked down at Lutie, as if he hadn't noticed her at all. He wrinkled his nose with distaste.

"What's going on here?!" Jeff's mother demanded as she burst onto the scene. Her voice was shrill and her face was red with rage, making her look more like a pig than ever.

"He cursed Little Lutie!" Jeff tattled, pointing at the young Malfoy. "And then Vi-Vi came to her rescue, but then she got scared, so Lu-Lu had to come rescue her! And then Luci came over and then you came over-"

"Luci?" Remus repeated, looking quite amused.

Lucius Malfoy glared at him, cocking one of his translucent eyebrows, "Lu-Lu?"

If we hadn't been surrounded by Death Eaters, I'm sure I would have found his blush rather endearing.

"And that's what happened!" Jeff finished, a little irritated that he had been interrupted.

"Your disgusting son brought a muggle here," the young Malfoy told Mrs. Flanders. "And a werewolf."

"_And_ a mudblood," Pansy added, shooting me a special glare.

"Jeffery!" she gasped, as if it were the most bazaar thing she had ever seen.

One of Lutie's slugs crawled through Jeff's hair, and his eyes began to tear up, "But, you said… I could invite all my friends…"

"I _assumed_ your friends were… socially acceptable," she said, completely flustered. "I thought your father and I raised you better than _this_!"

Jeff's usually expressive face turned to stone; he looked at his mother without emotion, and when he spoke, his voice sounded dead. "Well, you thought wrong."

"Get out of my house," Mrs. Flanders said, unable to hide her hysteria as well as her son could. "You're no child of mine. Get out!"

"Fine," Jeff said, straightening his dress. He looked over at us, "Come on; let's get out of here."

"Yes, sir!" Luna said dutifully.

"Here, Lutie," I said, holding out my arm. For once, she accepted it gratefully, holding onto me with one arm and her slug-bucket with the other. Remus walked on my other side, his strong hand resting on my lower back, guiding me through the crowd of judgmental glares and whispers.

"What happened?" Aria asked as we walked past her. I was relieved to see that she, Eddie, Penelope, Ashley, and Stephen were all still safe.

"Stephen wouldn't let me sit on his shoulders, so I couldn't see," said Ashley.

"We're leaving," Jeff told them. He grabbed onto Penelope's hand and pulled her along after him. His strides were so long that she had to run to keep up with him.

"I don't understand," Ashley said as our group exited the ballroom.

"There was a big fight!" Luna said excitedly. "It was so awesome!"

"It was not _awesome,_ Miss Lovegood," Remus said seriously.

"Yeah," I agreed. "It was down-right terrifying."

"But Miss Violet and Professor Lupin were so brave!" said Luna. "It was so wonderful. I bet even the Wrackspurt were proud of you!"

"Awww, damn," Eddie groaned. "I always miss all the fun..."

"Let's just hurry up and take the Floo out of here," said Remus. "Before they change their minds."

No one argued – though Ashley grumbled about how we never explain things to her – as we used Floo Powder to get back to my house. The library was a bit crowded with all of us in it, yet somehow, it was less stuffy than the large ballroom at the Flanders' Estate.

"How many are there now?" Luna asked, peering into Lutie's bucket.

"How the fuck should I know?" Lutie growled, plopping down on the sofa. She was gripping the bucket so tightly that her knuckles were turning white.

"Would anyone mind telling me what exactly happened back there?" Stephen asked, nervously running his hand through his hair.

"Yeah," Ashley pouted, crossing her arms.

Remus sighed, rubbing his temples, "Well…"

"Death Eaters," I spat out hysterically. "Jeff, your parents are Death Eaters."

"They are not!" Jeff defended. He moved closer to Penny, who readily wrapped her arms around him.

"Well, they sure acted like it," I said, my voice quivering. "You were there; you saw the way your mother treated us."

"What's a Death Eater?" Stephen asked as he adjusted his glasses.

"They're the bad guys," Ashley gold him. "They work for You-Know-Who."

"No, I don't know who," Stephen said, looking quite confused.

Ashley giggled, "Oh Stephey, you're so funny."

"Jeffery, how do you know Lucius Malfoy?" Remus asked.

"He's an old family friend…" Jeff whimpered. "What of it?"

"He's a Death Eater," Remus said, as if he were informing Jeff of the death of a family member. "One of Voldemort's closest followers."

"He is not!" Jeff screamed. "Stop it! You guys are being really horrible! You shouldn't say stuff like that if you don't have any proof!"

"Jeff…" Penelope cooed, rubbing his back softly.

"I'm going to take Penny-Poo and Loony Luna home," he said. "Come on ladies, let's go; we can stop for ice cream in town on the way."

"Alright," Luna said, grabbing onto Jeff's free arm. Penelope mouthed a _goodbye_ over her shoulder as they started downstairs.

The rest of us were silent. Lutie puked up another slug, and I rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

"I told you I would hate that damned party," she muttered. "You should have listened."

"I know," I said, tugging her hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry."

"The curse should wear off soon," Remus assured her.

"I _hate_ magic," she grumbled, resting her chin on the rim of the bucket. I don't think I'd ever seen her look quite that tired.

"Poor Jeff…" Aria said sadly. "He's taking this awful hard."

"He's a tough guy," Eddie assured her. "I'm sure he'll be alright."

"Are you sure his parents are bad guys, Lu-Lu?" Ashley asked.

"I'm positive," he said. "Almost everyone at that party was a Death Eater; or they have a similar mindset, at least."

"But what does that _mean_?" Stephen asked. "I don't understand-"

"Death Eaters believe in blood purity," I said, looking into the fireplace as I explained. I was half expecting one of them to follow us back; I had a feeling I wouldn't be sleeping much that night. "They think wizards are superior to muggles."

"Basically," Eddie said, with that smirk that meant he was going to say something stupid. "You were in a room with a bunch of people who wanted to kill you, mate."

"Christ…" Stephen gulped.

"Awww, my poor baby," Ashley said, kissing the back of his hand. "Do you need Ashley to make it all better?"

_And she gets on my case about being too loose with men,_ I thought, resisting the urge to roll my eyes.

"No, I think I'm… Oh!" he jumped, his face turning red when he realized what Ashley was implying.

"Come on," she giggled, pulling him out of the room. I could hear the sound of her laughter and Stephen's lethargic protests until they were down at the other end of the hall.

"Well, how do you like that," Eddie said, putting his hands on his hips. "Not even one date, and already he's getting some."

"Will you settle for a kiss goodnight?" Aria asked, smiling softly.

"But of course," Eddie said, gesturing towards the fireplace. "But before that, would you care to join me for a cream soda back at my place, my love?"

"That sounds lovely," Aria said. Eddie grabbed a handful of Floo Powder from the jar, and in moments, they were gone.

I turned to Lutie, "Are you alright?"

"Fan-fucking-tastic," she snarled. "I'm going to my room. Do _not_ bother me."

"Okay…" I said. "Tell us if you need anything."

"Yeah, whatever," she said, slipping out of the library. I heard her bedroom door slam shut; the sound was followed shortly by a loud gag.

"Are _you_ alright?" Remus asked, placing his hand under my chin and tilting it upward, so his eyes were looking straight into mine.

"I'm fine," I assured him. "A little shaken up, but I'll be okay. How about you?"

His hand migrated to the back of my neck, pulling me into a kiss. Our lips were only together for a few moments; he quickly retreated from the kiss to pull me into a tight, - almost too tight – loving embrace. One of his hands stroked my hair while he kissed my forehead repeatedly.

"I don't think I've ever been more terrified before in my entire life," he whispered.

"Really?" I said. "But I thought you said you've fought Death Eaters before; and they didn't really-"

"It doesn't matter," he said quickly. "That isn't the same thing. Back then, I didn't have anything to lose. Now…" he paused, sniffling back his tears. "Violet, if something had happened to you…"

"You'd always have Maria," I murmured. Now that we were away from danger, images of that exotic creature were beginning to slip back into my mind.

"Maria?" he said, pulling me back and looking down at me, as if it were the strangest thing he'd ever heard. "What about her?"

"You know what I mean," I said helplessly. "I saw the way she was looking at you, the way she touched you…"

Remus groaned, "Violet… Please, sit down."

"Okay," I said, though he had to guide me towards the sofa. He sat down next to me, wrapping one arm around my waist and placing the opposite hand on my leg.

"I don't know what's running through your mind right now," he said gently. "But there is _nothing_ going on between Maria and I."

"But-"

"We dated, for a little while," he went on. "But I don't think she was ever that interested in me."

"She seemed plenty interested just a bit ago," I snorted.

"She used to think I was terribly boring," he sighed. "I don't know what she was thinking tonight…"

_You're too wonderful to be boring,_ I thought. "And what did you think of her?"

"To be honest, I was never that fond of her," he said, rubbing my lower back. "She was about as intellectually stimulating as a bag of rocks. And she went on to marry a Death Eater, which shows you how different our ideologies are."

"Did you ever…" I started, but I couldn't bring myself to finish the question. My cheeks burned just thinking about it.

"Did I ever make love to her?" he finished for me. "I'm not going to lie to you. Yes; when Maria and I were together, we had sex. But it wasn't like making love with you, Violet."

"I'm sure she was good," I said. "With those long legs-"

Remus wrinkled his nose, "I'd much rather have your curvy thighs wrapped around me."

I blushed, unable to keep myself from smiling a little, "Her breasts-"

"Fake; completely awful," he said simply. His hand crept up from its resting place on my hip and found a new one on my chest. "I prefer yours; real, sensitive, and so soft…"

I let out a nervous laugh, "If she was so awful, why were you with her?"

"I thought that having someone was better than being alone; that just being with a woman would be enouth," He lifted his hand off of my leg and caressed my face lovingly, "Maria was a cold, selfish lover. She would wear those ridiculously revealing outfits – Sirius found them quite amusing – but… she just didn't care, I suppose. You, on the other hand…"

"What about me?" I asked coyly, leaning into him.

"I like that you dress modestly," he said, rubbing the fabric of my sweater between his finger. "But as soon as the clothes come off, you're willing and passionate… I'm not with you because I don't want to be lonely; I'm with you because you keep the loneliness away. Do you see the difference?"

"I think so," I said, smiling at him. "You're so sweet to me…"

He smiled back, "You deserve more sentiments than I have time to give..."

"I love you," I whispered, wrapping my arms around him and pulling my body as close to his as I could. I nuzzled his neck gently, "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have-"

"It's alright," he said, hugging me tightly. "I can understand how you felt. I've never loved anyone the way I love you. You never have to doubt that, Violet."

I closed my eyes, enjoying the warm feeling that had suddenly washed over me. Affirmation was always so comforting, and Remus always seemed to know exactly what to say to make me feel loved.


	57. Chapter 57

"You brought _muggles_ to a Death Eater party?!" Sirius exclaimed.

"When you say it like that, you make it sound like we did something completely awful," I said, sipping my peppermint tea.

"You brought muggles to a Death Eater party!" he repeated. "That _is_ awful! What were you thinking?!"

"It's not like we did it on purpose," I pouted. "And we got everyone out alright, didn't we?"

"We were very fortunate," Remus said from behind his newspaper. "In the old days, we probably wouldn't have survived the night; we were outnumbered at least fifteen-to-one."

"Here are your eggs, Mr. Black," Moth said, standing on her toes to place the plate on the table. "Can Moth get anything else for you?"

"No, thank you," Sirius said politely. He really was starting to look better. His face looked more and more human all the time, and when he was in a good mood, we could see light in his eyes. He was still quite skinny, but he had put on enough weight that he didn't look quite so sickly.

"Miss Carroll," Ms. McGuff said as she poked her head into the kitchen. She jumped a little when she saw Sirius, but she tried to pretend like she didn't notice him. "I'm going into town to do some shopping; can I use money out of the jar?"

I nodded, "Of course; take as much as you need."

"Thank you," she said, looking at our little group wearily for a few moments before she slipped away.

Sirius laughed as the swinging door shut behind her, "She's terrified of me…"

"You shouldn't try to frighten her all the time," I scolded. "She's very fragile; she's had it rough in the past."

"It's hard to believe," Sirius said, as though he had given this matter some thought. "Such a meek little thing could be the mother of that insufferable Lutie girl."

"Maybe Miss Lutie takes after Mr. McGuff," Moth suggested.

"There isn't a Mr. McGuff," I said simply.

"Good news, Padfoot," Remus said, and I was thankful that he stepped into the conversation. I'm sure Lutie didn't want everyone in the house knowing her gloomy family history; it wasn't exactly something she was proud of. I never felt comfortable explaining it, either. "It seems that the Office of Magical Law Enforcement thinks you've fled to the continent."

"Not that it means much; I still can't show my face in public," Sirius grumbled.

"With a face like that, why would you want to?" Remus asked, leaning over his newspaper to grab a piece of toast, and to shoot a wink at his friend.

Sirius couldn't help but laugh as he shoved a bite of breakfast into his mouth, "Oh, so you're a comedian now?"

"I thought it was funny," I said, giggling as I sat down my empty tea cup. "If you're feeling restless, we can always take you for a walk. I think we still have Muffin's old dog leash around here, somewhere. But it might be a tight squeeze…"

"I'll pass," Sirius sneered. "Besides, you two have plans today, remember?"

"We do?" Remus and I asked, exchanging a quick glance.

"Didn't anyone tell you?" he asked, grinning knowingly. "I thought Aria said that she told you."

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Aria groaned as she stepped into the kitchen. She wore layers of long, flowing skirts and a blouse that showed off her flat stomach. A deep, red scarf decorated her crazy curly hair.

Sirius whistled, "That's some getup."

"Thank you," Aria said sweetly, twirling around the room for us. Her skirts flew out around her like a parasol.

"Does this have something to do with the plans Violet and I had no idea we had?" Remus asked, smiling at her.

"Oh, no," she said, stopping suddenly and gracefully. "My shop's opening today. I thought I'd be more credible as a fortune teller if I look the part."

"Oh, that's right," I said. "Congratulations, Ari. I hope it goes well."

"Me too," said Aria, sounding a little nervous.

"I just hope your outfit doesn't frighten all the customers away," Sirius joked.

"I just hope the convicted mass murderer we're harboring _stays out of the way_," Aria quipped. "Now _that_ would be bad for business."

"Baah, nonsense," said Sirius. "As a dog, I have a very cheery disposition; your customers would _love_ me."

"Um, pardon me," I said. "But… what sort of plans are-"

"Miss Violet and Mr. Lupin have a picnic date!" Moth interrupted, jumping up and down excitedly. "Moth will make the lunch herself!"

"A picnic date?" Remus repeated, as if the idea were foreign to him.

"Yes," Aria said. "You two need to have some alone time, and you _never_ get out."

"We get out…" I said weakly. "Last night, we went to a lovely part."

"That doesn't count," she scolded. "Doesn't it bother you that all you guys do is hang around here all day?"

I shook my head, "No, not really."

"I like it, myself," Remus said with a smile. "It's been a long time since I've lived in such a… homey environment."

"Lu-Lu," Ashley cooed as she danced into the kitchen, dressed for another day at the office. "You simply _must_ take my daughter on a picnic date. I think her fragile heart would shatter into a milliondy pieces if you don't!"

"Is this true, Violet?" Remus asked, looking at me with deep concern. The mischievous glimmer in his eyes gave his façade away, however, and I knew he was simply playing along. "Will your heart shatter into a milliondy pieces?"

"Yes," I said, nodding. I could hear Sirius laughing hysterically in the background, but with Remus looking at me so intently – even in jest – it was impossible to focus on anything else. "I think it will."

"Then I have no choice," he said, kissing me briefly. "We can't have you wandering around with a broken heart, now can we?"

"Awww!" Aria, Ashley, and Moth all squealed together. Sirius was laughing more than ever. I felt a slight burning sensation in my cheeks; why was it so easy to make me blush?

"Now, you be gentle with our daughter," Ashley said, furrowing her brows.

"Miss Zimmer," Remus said, looking up at Ashley as if he were shocked by her implications. "Have I ever been known to do any different?"

We were lucky to be blessed with such temperate weather; when we left for lunch, the temperature outside was just a little warm for my taste, but the slight breeze was soothing enough that the heat felt cozy instead of uncomfortable.

"This really wasn't a bad idea," I said, taking a deep breath.

"No, it wasn't," said Remus. He walked with his cane in one hand and the picnic basket in the other. He flashed me a quick smirk, "It'll be nice to have a picnic while the sun is still out, for a change."

"Yes," I said, blushing slightly as I remembered our late night rendezvous. "Not that I didn't enjoy our last picnic…"

"Of course," he said, looking smug as he adjusted the large picnic basket under his arm. "I think it was easily the best picnic I've ever been on…"

"Are you sure you don't want me to carry that?" I asked.

"I've got it," he said, smiling at me. "Where exactly are we going? I thought we'd be eating in the garden…"

I looked over my shoulder; the Starlight Boarding House, as well as the garden surrounding it, was already starting to shrink into nothing as we walked further and further away.

"We couldn't eat in the garden," I sighed helplessly. "That bloody Hippogriff would end up getting more of our meal than us."

"Yes, that's right," Remus said, laughing as he – I assumed – remembered the last time we'd tried to have afternoon tea in the garden; Buckbeak had stolen the fresh scones Moth had made for us.

But he did have a point; other than the garden, there really weren't any other places where we could have our lunch. I was tempted to just turn back, but I knew it was hard for Remus to walk for a very long time, and I didn't want to make him feel like he had waited his time and energy-

I stopped suddenly; the wind had brought with it a familiar sound I hadn't heard in years. I thought – at first – that I had imagined it…

"Violet?" Remus said, looking a bit worried. "Are you alright?"

"Shhhh…" I whispered, closing my eyes so I could focus on my other senses. I inhaled with the next gust of wind – a strong one this time – and the sound was louder this time, because I was listening for it. A large grin spread out across my face as I identified the noise; wind chimes.

"I know where we're going," I said, opening my eyes. "Follow me; it isn't far."

"Alright," Remus said, chuckling as he followed after me. I felt a rush of wild energy – something I hadn't felt for many years – and it was a struggle to keep my pace slow and steady.

It wasn't long before we arrived at the small grove of trees that had been my safe haven prior to my Hogwarts years, when I had been just a small child. The trees all towered over us; they were ancient, and would probably still be there long after Remus and I vanished from the face of the earth.

"Please, let me carry this," I offered again, reaching for the picnic basket. This time, he relinquished it without protest.

"We're not going too deep into the woods, I hope," he panted. I guess my attempts to keep a slow pace were in vain after all.

I shook my head, taking his now-empty hand in mine. "It isn't much farther, I promise."

"You seem very excited about this," he said, giving my hand a brief squeeze. "Where is it we're going, exactly?"

"You'll see," I said, unable to keep myself from giggling. I felt so giddy that I couldn't keep my laughter down anymore. "It's a surprise."

The clearing wasn't nearly as large as I remembered, but when you're a child, everything appears larger than life. I knew it was my clearing right away; the entryway I had constructed – simply by tying long pieces of cloth to a long branch and then propping that branch up between two trees – was still standing. The tattered white strips of cloth fluttered freely in the breeze. Next to the entryway hung my homemade wind chime, which I had fashioned out of Uncle Jack's old liquor bottles, sea shells, and some silverware I'd stolen from the kitchen (Mrs. O'Grady had blamed the nine-year-old boy who was living in the house at the time. I still feel guilty about not coming clean). Up close, the noise it made sounded… cluttered; almost ugly.

"Well, come on in," I said, passing through the entryway. Remus hesitated for a little while before he followed me.

The floor of the thicket was covered with old, dead leaves, which prevented any grass from growing in the clearing, giving the appearance of carpet. Several odd ornaments – all of which I had fashioned myself with no particular purpose in mind – dangled from the treetops. Some of them had fallen down, and were scattered across the clearing. Off to one side of the clearing was a large, flat stone, on top of which I had constructed several tiny huts. Even from this far away, I could see that at least half of them remained intact, after almost ten years without any maintenance. A few yards away from the miniature village was my own hut; a tepee-like structure made of dead branches that leaned against a particularly large tree. It seemed so huge when I was a child, but as an adult, I don't think I could have stood up straight inside it. The sign – a piece of thin plywood – still hung above the doorway. The word _Violet_ was scrawled across it in faded purple ink, in handwriting that was only barely legible.

My secret place.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh, or if I wanted to cry. I sat the picnic basket down on the ground and closed my eyes. Just being there filled me with a strange type of energy. I can only think of one thing that would make an adequate comparison; it felt like magic.

Remus stood behind me. He grabbed his hands in mine and rested his chin on the top of my head. "What is this place?" he whispered, sounding both amazed and confused.

I leaned backwards against his body, holding onto his hands tightly, "It's my secret place. I used to come here when I wanted to be alone."

"I see…" he said, and I could tell he still wasn't sure what to make of this place.

"I've never shown it to anyone before," I said quietly. "Not even Lutie, or Ari, or anyone else. Just you…"

"I'm… honored," he said, as if he wasn't sure if that was the correct word. "This place must be very dear to you. I'm very flattered that you'd share something so intimate with me."

I opened my eyes slowly, "It looks smaller than I remember…"

"It looks like this place has been abandoned for some time," he said. "When was the last time you were here?"

"I was eleven," I said, suddenly realizing just how long it had been. "The day before I left for Hogwarts for the first time…"

"Why didn't you come back after that?" he asked.

It was such a personal question; I don't think I would have answered honestly for anyone else.

"After Hogwarts, I stopped believing in this type of magic," I said, feeling my eyes start to tear up. My voice started shaking as I tried to hold back my sobs. "It just didn't seem important anymore."

_But I was wrong,_ I thought as Remus released my hands, so he could wrap his arms around me. I rested most of my weight against his body, clutching onto his arms. _This is the most important type of magic there is… That's why it's okay for me to bring you here, Remus; because you reminded me how wonderful this type of magic is._

I'd never realized how ironic my life had been: I stopped believing in magic the day I started studying as a witch. That thought was enough to make me smile, even laugh a little.

"Come on," he said, nuzzling my neck affectionately. His mustache tickled my face, and I couldn't help but giggle. "Let's have our lunch."

"Yes," I said, slipping out of the embrace to spread out the picnic blanket. The leaf-carpet crunched beneath us as we sat down on the soft, wooly blanket. In the clearing, the trees shielded us from both the wind and the summer sun.

"This really is a fascinating little place," Remus said, opening up the basket. He pulled our lunch out item-by-item: turkey and cheese finger sandwiches, two apples, two bottles of Butterbeer, and a single box of chocolates. He looked over my shoulder, towards the tiny village on the rock. "I have to ask, what is that over there?"

I mumbled an incoherent answer, blushing as I reached for one of the sandwiches.

He grinned, "I beg your pardon?"

"Its village I built for faeries," I said, so embarrassed I couldn't look Remus in the eye. I shoved the sandwich into my mouth, only chewing a few times before I swallowed.

"Is that so…" he said, snickering a little as he opened one of the bottles and held it out for me.

"There's always a mushroom circle around that rock in the spring," I explained, though somehow justifying myself out loud didn't make me feel any less embarrassed. When I grabbed my Butterbeer, I noticed that my hand was trembling slightly. "I read in a book that mushroom circles mean faeries, so I built some houses for them."

He reached for me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer, so we were sitting right next to each other. "How… cute," he teased.

He rested his hand on my waist while we ate; leaning against each other in comfortable silence until we'd finished the sandwich plate.

"Well, I've shared one of my deepest secrets with you," I said as I bit into my apple. "I think it's your turn now, don't you?"

"Alright, let's see…" he said, scratching his chin as though he were in deep thought. "Have I ever told you that, during my brief employment as a professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I had a rather lengthy affair with one of my students?"

I laughed, nearly choking on my apple, "Oh, you don't say?"

"I know, it's hard to believe," he said playfully. "But it's completely true. Looking back, I think it's one of the best decisions I've ever made."

"Me too," I agreed, dropping my fruit on the blanket so I could wrap my arms around him. I buried my face in the front of his shirt, enjoying his familiar sent.

I heard the sound of the chocolate box opening, which was quickly followed by Remus laughing lightheartedly. I turned my head and peeked into the box; there were only two chocolates, nestled together in their paper nests.

_That's… oddly romantic,_ I thought with a smile.

Remus seemed to agree. He was smiling warmly as he gently lifted one of the tiny morsels out of the box and pressed it against my lips. I opened my mouth, allowing him to push the chocolate inside. I closed my mouth around his finger as he pulled it out. When I bit down on the candy, the chocolaty-cream filling tasted rich and wonderful. My eyes fluttered closed, and I savored the flavor for several moments before I finally swallowed.

I opened my eyes, grinning widely, "Wow, those are really good…"

"You can have the other one, if you like," he offered, kissing me briefly before he reclined, so he was laying flat on his back, stretched out across the blanket.

I lifted the tiny chocolate out of the box with great care, afraid that I would crush the delicate candy if I held it too tightly. I knew I wasn't going to eat it even before I'd even picked it up; the suggestion was tempting, but I couldn't deny Remus the pleasure, especially knowing how much he loved chocolate. I leaned over him, smiling kindly as I touched the chocolate to his lips. I felt his tongue brush across my finger as he accepted the offering.

He moaned quietly, "You're right; these are fantastic..."

I stretched out next to him, with my stomach touching the blanket. I rested my chin on my folded arms, looking at the little faerie village across the clearing. I wondered vaguely if such creatures ever _really_ inhabited those houses.

Remus rolled onto his side, pushing my hair over so he could whisper into my ear, "I have another secret, you know…"

"What's that?" I asked, reaching out to touch the dead leafs in front of me. They crumbled instantly, and I pulled my quivering hand back quickly, letting out a tiny yelp. Remus draped his arm over my waist, sensing how much that scared me. Why did that frighten me? It was just a leaf…

"What's your other secret?" I asked, not wanting to think about what had just happened, or how pathetic it made me feel.

"I'm a werewolf," he said, holding onto me tightly, as if he were afraid that I would run away screaming. In the moment, it seemed like a logical response; if a leaf crumbling under my touch startled me, surly having a werewolf stretched out next to me would cause me to die of fright.

I looked up into his eyes, gently caressing his face, "Yes, I know."

"Sometimes I wonder," he said, kissing the side of my face. "I wonder if you really understand what that means…"

"Well… tell me," I said, scooting closer. "Tell me about it; I want to understand, I really do…"

He laughed dryly, "I'm not even sure where to start…"

"When were you… um… bitten?" I asked. It was something I'd always wondered about – I knew he was infected by the time he arrived at Hogwarts, although I wasn't sure exactly when – but part of me was always afraid to ask. I wasn't sure how private something like that was supposed to be.

"I was very young," he said. "I'm not sure precisely how old I was, but I can't imagine being older than five."

_Poor Remus,_ I thought, biting down on my lower lip. _He didn't even get to really enjoy his childhood…_

"How d-did it happen?" I asked. "I mean… was it an accident, or-"

"It was no accident," he said, sounding uncharacteristically bitter – and he had every right to be. "I was bitten by a werewolf by the name of Fenrir Greyback; probably one of the most disgusting creatures to ever walk the earth."

I gulped, shocked by his animosity towards his own kind, "How can you say that about-"

"Violet, not all werewolves…" he trailed off, sighing. "Well, they're not all as… attuned with their human side as I am. Greyback delights in infecting as many people as possible, especially children. Bite them young, he says, and raise them away from their parents; teach them to hate normal wizards…"

I gasped, "He took you away from your parents?"

"No," Remus said frantically. "No, with me, it wasn't like that. He bit me out of revenge."

I quivered, "Revenge?"

"My father had… offended him, somehow," he said. "So Greyback targeted me to get back at him. He knew that infecting me would hurt my father more than anything else."

"That's so awful," I whimpered, fighting to keep my tears back. "You were just a child…"

He nodded, "Needless to say, my parents were devastated. But they stuck by me, even though the rest of the local wizarding community scorned them for keeping a child… like me."

"Of course they did," I said, forcing out an awkward smile. "I'm sure they loved you very much, Remus."

He smiled back, as if to show me that my attempt at comforting him had worked, at least a little. "They did everything they could for me. They spent all their time and money trying to find a cure, but nothing we tried worked. In the mean time, my transformations were… about as dreadful as you can imagine. This was before the Wolfsbane potion, of course, so I was forced to endure the transformations alone."

_I'll have to start fixing his potion soon,_ I remembered, closing my eyes tightly in an attempt to keep my tears inside. This didn't work for very long; the large, salty drops of water easily seeped through the cracks, soaking my cheeks.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you," Remus whispered, kissing the side of my face as he pulled me closer.

I wiped my eyes, curling up next to him, "It's okay… I don't mind at all."

He kept talking; now that he'd started telling the story, he had to keep going until he finished it. He spoke quickly, though, as if it was unpleasant for him to talk about it, "It was different while I was at school, when Sirius, James, and Peter were with me. But that era came to an end before I knew it; Peter murdered Lily and James, then Sirius was sent to prison for it. Even after the Wolfsbane potion was invented, I couldn't always afford it; even when I could, my transformations were always tremendously lonely. I couldn't risk letting my newer acquaintances find out what I was…"

"You don't need to be alone anymore," I whispered. "You have me now; I'll be here with you."

"You have no idea how much that means to me, Violet," he said, squeezing me tightly.

I smiled as he wiped the last of my tears away. I rested my head on the blanket, looking up at Remus for a few moments before I closed my eyes.

"_A boat, beneath a sunny sky  
Lingering onward dreamily  
In an evening of July --_

_Children three that nestle near,  
Eager eye and willing ear  
Pleased a simple tale to hear --_

Long has paled that sunny sky:  
Echoes fade and memories die:  
Autumn frosts have slain July."

Remus chuckled, netting his fingers through my hair, "That's from _Through the Looking Glass,_ isn't it?"

I nodded, surprised to find myself yawning, "Mhm."

"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised," he said, yawning that contagious yawn. It always seems to spread like wildfire; one once person starts it, it doesn't want to quit.

"I'm sorry," I said shyly.

"No, please continue," Remus said gently. "I'd love to hear the rest of it."

I took a deep breath, calling the words to the front of my mind from deep within my memory:

"_Still she haunts me, phantomwise  
Alice moving under skies  
Never seen by waking eyes._

Children yet, the tale to hear,  
Eager eye and willing ear,  
Lovingly shall nestle near.

In a Wonderland they lie,  
Dreaming as the days go by,  
Dreaming as the summers die:

Ever drifting down the stream --  
Lingering in the golden gleam --  
Life what is it but a dream?"


	58. Chapter 58

"_Violet!" I heard my father calling. I could hardly hear him over the sounds of the rolling thunder and the rain splattering as it hit the ground around me. "Violet!"_

"_Child, you better get out here!" Mrs. O'Grady yelled, sounding on the verge of hysteria. "Or your daddy's gonna whip you good!"_

_I knew he wouldn't; my father just didn't have it in him to hit anyone. Even if he did, I wasn't about to come out of my hut, which I could actually fit into at five years of age. I didn't want to be found. Ever. _

I want to die,_ I thought to myself. I couldn't tell if my face was wet because I was crying or because my poorly-constructed teepee wasn't keeping the rain out as well as I assumed it would. I squished my fingers in the mud underneath me. _If Mum's dead, I want to be dead too. I hope that guy comes here next and kills me too.

_A swift strike of lightening caused me to scream with fright. I stood up quickly and took off; I suddenly wanted to live a long, full life. I ran and ran for what felt like forever, trying to find the voices I'd heard earlier; my father, or Mrs. O'Grady. Every time the lightning flashed, I swore I saw Sirius Black staring at me from behind the shadows._

"_Violet," I heard an unfamiliar voice whisper behind me. I stopped, turning around so hurriedly that I slipped and fell in the slick mud. I didn't even bother getting up; I covered my face with my hands and sobbed quietly._

"_Shhh, it's alright," the voice said._

"_No, it isn't," I sobbed._

_I suddenly felt a warm light shining on my face, and when I looked up, I saw an elderly man with a long, white beard and half-moon glasses, crouched down next to me. He held a lantern in his hand, and – somehow – was completely dry despite the heavy downpour. _

"_I'm not going to hurt you," he assured me, wiping my tears from my eyes. "I'm your friend, Violet. I'm here to help."_

"_H-how do you know my name?" I asked skeptically._

_He chuckled, "I know all kinds of things about you."_

_For a five year old, that was good enough. Besides, he didn't _look_ dangerous…_

"_What's your name?" I asked._

"_Albus Dumbledore," he said, holding out his free hand for me to shake._

_It was the first time someone had ever treated me like an adult. I grabbed onto his hand with my miniature one, shaking it gently._

"_I'm very sorry about your loss," he said, letting go of my hand. "I lost my mother, too; a long time ago…"_

_For some reason, I was able to ask Professor Dumbledore the question I'd been wanting to ask since I'd heard the awful news – I couldn't bring myself to ask my dad or Ms. McGuff or Bert or Mrs. O'Grady. Maybe it was because I thought he'd know the answer; my eyes flooded with tears again, "Why did she have to die?"_

"_Shhh, don't cry," he coaxed, placing the lantern on the ground as he pulled me into an embrace. "Death comes to all of us, Violet; your mother's just came a little sooner than most. It's terrible, I know… But she wouldn't want you to be sad."_

"_She wouldn't?" I questioned, my voice muffled by his robes. It made no sense to me; wouldn't she want me to be sad that we could never be together again? Wouldn't it be a wicked thing to _not_ miss her?_

"_She wouldn't," Dumbledore repeated. "She would want you to be strong. She would want you to remember the happy memories you shared together. Can you do that for me, Violet? Try to think of a happy memory…"_

_I closed my eyes, trying to remember my mother; the way she had been when she was alive. In my mind, I pictured the two of us sitting in her rocking chair. Her long, auburn hair was pulled up into a tight bun. Her light gray eyes – just a little too big for her face, as mine were – were so focused on the page in front of us, I don't think she realized anything else existed as she read aloud to me:_

"Children yet, the tale to hear,  
Eager eye and willing ear,  
Lovingly shall nestle near.

In a Wonderland they lie,  
Dreaming as the days go by,  
Dreaming as the summers die…"

_When I opened my eyes, the rain had stopped, and Dumbledore was smiling at me._

"_I figured as much," he said, grabbing onto his lantern and slowly rising to his feet. He held out his old, wrinkled hand, "Come along, child; we have much to talk about…"_

My eyes flickered open, and for a brief moment I thought I was still lost in my past. But the sun shining through the trees – and right into my eyes – quickly reminded me of the present. I sighed heavily; even after the rain had stopped, and Professor Dumbledore had taken me back to my house to warm up, my heart still felt cold. It stayed cold for almost thirteen years, I realized; my heart didn't warm back up again until I met Remus Lupin.

I could feel him next to me; my back was snuggled against his front, and he had his arm wrapped around me. His coarse finger traced the lines on my open palm. I smiled, slowly curling my fingers around his large hand.

"Good morning," he said, kissing the side of my face.

"How long have we been here?" I asked, yawning as I propped myself up on my elbow.

"A long time," he said simply. "The sun's starting to set."

I sighed, lying down again, "I can't believe I slept half the day away; now I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," he said smugly, pulling me close to him. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, nipping at the skin playfully.

"That tickles," I said, giggling when his mustache brushed up against my skin.

"We should start heading back," he said solemnly. "I'm sure Ashley would have a conniption if her daughter was out in the woods with a werewolf after dark."

"Probably," I sighed as I sat up slowly. I stretched out my arms, letting out a loud yawn as I stood up. "But I think this was defiantly worth any lecture we'll get."

"Of course," he said, gathering up all of the picnic supplies and stuffing it into the basket. "While it may not have been quite as… _erotic_ as our last picnic date, it was every bit as intimate; maybe even more so."

"Y-yeah," I said, turning my head to the side, hoping that would hide my blush.

Remus took a few steps, affectively closing the small gap between us as he gently took my face in his hands. He looked at me intensely for a few moments before he leaned in to steal a kiss. It was quick and fleeting; his tongue merely grazed my lips before he retreated, leaving me dazed and wanting more.

"Come on," he said, grabbing onto my hand. "If we don't leave soon, we won't make it back before dark."

"Yes," I agreed; my voice sounded giddy and intoxicated. I shook my head a few times, snapping myself out of my trance long enough to grab onto the picnic basket.

We were quiet for most of the long trek back to the house. At first, we discussed literature; Remus told me that he was having fun reading _A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court_, and I talked about how Joseph Conrad bored me to tears, no matter how many times I tried to read his work. But the conversation soon fell silent; not the uncomfortable kind of silence, but the comforting kind. The kind of silence where you don't say anything, not because you don't know what to say, but because you don't _need_ to. The way our hands meshed together and the way he would smirk when he caught me looking at him was more than enough.

I heard the sound of laughter filtering out of the open window as we approached the house. Remus and I shared a quick glance, somehow coming to the mutual conclusion that we should peek through the window before going inside, just to be safe.

Looking in the window was like watching an old, corny TV show. Lutie and Sirius sat across from each other at the kitchen table, a game of cards laid out in between them.

"That's the most vulgar joke I've ever heard," Lutie said, attempting to sound disgusted, though she clearly found whatever Sirius had just said very amusing.

Sirius shook his head, "It's only vulgar if it isn't funny."

"Oh, that's the rule, is it?" Lutie quipped, drawing a card from the largest pile.

"Yes," Sirius said, grinning as he drew a card himself. He immediately sat the card down in a separate pile, "You know, I always thought that you hated me."

"Yeah," Lutie said, playing one of her own cards. "I always thought I hated you, too..."

The scene was so heartwarming, it was all I could do to stop myself from running in there and hugging them both.

_See? Things do work out,_ my inner voice said. _You just have to give them time, that's all._

The cheery atmosphere in the kitchen evaporate instantly when Ashley and Uncle Jack barged into the room, frightening Lutie so much that she shrieked and tossed her handful of cards into the air. Ashley's hair was falling out of her perfectly-styled bun, and my uncle looked a little worse for wear, as well. Between them, they carried Jeff, who had a lanky arm draped over each of them. Ashley and Jack were both a good foot shorter than Jeff, so the transsexual's legs were dragging across the floor as they carried him.

"Jesus!" Lutie gasped. "What the bloody hell happened to him?"

"Jeff!" I breathed, dropping the picnic basket and darting inside. I pulled a chair out for him, and Jack and Ashley – quite eagerly – dumped him into it. Jeff groaned, rubbing his temple before he rested his head on the table. He smelled like alcohol and cigarette smoke, and his makeup was smeared all over his face.

"What's wrong?" I demanded. "What happened to Jeff?"

"Well, he didn't come home last night," Ashley explained while she prepared a glass of water. "Jack and I ran into him on our way home from work."

"Looks like someone has a hangover," Sirius teased.

"You think?" Lutie said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"What's going on?" Remus asked as he made his way into the kitchen, with the picnic basket in tow. "Is he alright?"

"He'll be fine," Uncle Jack said. "The boy's just had a little too much to drink, that's all. Once he sobers up, he'll be just fine."

"No, I won't," Jeff sobbed, rubbing his eyes – which further smeared his makeup. I noticed that one of Lutie's slugs was still crawling around in his hair. "I'll never be fine!"

"Oh, of course you will, Jeffey," Ashley cooed, rubbing his back as she offered him the glass of water.

"No," he groaned, accepting her offering. He swallowed the whole glass in one swift gulp.

"Now, what could have possibly happened that would spoil your whole outlook on life in one night?" Sirius asked.

"My parents are Death Eaters," Jeff said somberly.

I crossed my arms, "I'm glad you're finally seeing reason-"

"And my girlfriend broke up with me," he continued, running the tip of his fingernail over the rip of the glass.

"Oh," Sirius said. "That'll about do it, huh?"

"B-b-but why?" Ashley asked, already on the verge of a total meltdown. "I thought you two were in love…"

He sniffled, "We are."

"Then why did she break up with you?" I asked, feeling a tiny pang in my chest, like someone was poking it with a syringe.

"When I went to drop her off, I ended up meeting her parents for the first time," Jeff explained, and already I could see where this story was going. "And they got really mad, for some reason, and told her they didn't want her to see me anymore."

"I'm sorry," Remus said kindly. He was probably the only one in the room who knew what Jeff was going through, I realized.

"Oh Lu-Lu, it was awful!" Jeff sobbed, practically tackling poor Remus with his overbearing hug. "She was crying and they wouldn't let me comfort her! They just pushed me out of the house and slammed the door!"

"There, there," he said awkwardly, patting Jeff on the back. "It'll all work out in the end, you'll see."

"Yeah," Ashley said. "If she really loves you, she'll come around."

"And if not, there are plenty of fish in the sea," said Uncle Jack. "Speaking of fish, I think salmon for dinner… yes…"

"No, not like her…" Jeff whimpered pathetically. "Penny-poo was my princess…"

"Come on, Jeffey," Ashley said, pulling Jeff off of Remus and leading him out of the kitchen. "Let's get you upstairs, so you can sleep off this mean ol' hangover."

"That poor kid looks bloody miserable," Uncle Jack said, cracking open a bottle of Butterbeer for himself.

"Yeah…" I said, watching as he and Ashley disappeared into the other room.

It was impossible to even _pretend_ to be happy for the rest of the evening; after a while, we all stopped trying. The only noises at the dinner table were my uncle trying – and failing miserably – to cheer us up with stories about his job, and an occasional sob out of Jeff, who somehow managed to stumble down for dinner.

_I feel so awful,_ I thought while I took my evening shower. _But what can I do? If Penelope doesn't even want to talk to him… Poor Jeff, he really fell hard for this one. I've never seen him like this before; even when those other boys beat him up, he was still as chipper as ever. _

_And he just found out that his parents are Death Eaters,_ I reminded myself as I turned the water off. The air around me turned cold instantly, and I frantically grabbed my fuzzy purple towel off of the rack and started to dry myself off. _He's already been disowned once, and just as they were starting to get along…_

"I always thought there was something fishy about them," I said aloud as I wrapped my hair in the towel. "It would take someone with ice in their veins to throw their only child out on the street; even if he _is_ an obnoxious, flaming transvestite…"

Once I towel-dried my hair, I wrapped the wet towel around my body, tucking the corner of the fabric in so it would stay in place. I ran a brush through my damp, tangled hair, until it was neat and straight. I put the brush down and touched my finger to the tip of my nose. I watched my spell in the mirror; my dark auburn hair flew outwards, as if I had just stepped into a huge gust of wind. It slowly fell back into place, dry and curling at the bottom to frame my face.

"There," I sighed. "At least now I'm clean…"

I looked over at my new change of clothes, blushing with apprehension. The odd combination of the leftover passion from the intimate afternoon I'd spent with Remus and the disheartening evening we'd had with Jeff made me feel like I should do something… _special_; something Remus would enjoy. My inner-Jeff came up with what seemed to be the perfect thing – because my outer-Jeff was too busy wallowing in his grief to come up with a perverted scheme for me – but even though it was my own idea, I found myself trembling with nervousness as I pulled on my old school uniform.

_I must be putting on weight,_ I thought as I struggled with the zipper on my skirt. _This fit perfectly a month ago…_ Buttoning my shirt and tying my tie proved to be just as difficult; my hands were shaking as I fed the buttons through their holes.

"Maybe this is a stupid idea," I said, but when I looked in the mirror, I was reminded just how well the world of academia suited me. I knew that I would always be a student at heart, and a school uniform just looked… _right_ on me. Or perhaps I just felt that way because I had been wearing that uniform for the last seven years, and I was so accustomed to it that it felt odd to _not_ wear it…

_I just hope Remus likes it,_ I thought, hanging my dripping towel back on the rack before I slipped out of the bathroom. I darted down the hall as quickly as I could, thankful that there was no one else around. I was panting slightly as I shut the bedroom door behind me.

There he was, sitting in the antique rocking chair by the fireplace, hunched over one of the many books that had somehow migrated into the room since we'd moved into it. His eyes were narrowed with concentration, trying to see past the hair that had fallen between them and the page. The light from the flames danced across his scarred face, casting shadows that made his features look exaggerated and sharp.

I cleared my throat, leaning against the door, "Good evening, Professor Lupin."

He frowned, looking up from his book with a puzzled look on his face, "Violet, I'm not your…" he trailed off, his face growing pale and his eyes widening. He gulped, "Violet…"

I smiled coyly, my cheeks burning intensely as I took a tiny step towards him, "Yes, Professor?"

Remus put the book aside, groaning as he stood up. He pushed his hair out of his eyes as he finished closing the gap between us. He rested his hands on my hips and leaned down so our noses were touching, "What on earth are you doing?"

"I w-wanted to do s-something nice for you," I stuttered. Putting on that uniform seemed to take me back to the place I had been months ago; the little self-confidence I had built up had melted away the second I put on.

He smiled warmly, reaching up to tickle one of my ears, "This really brings back memories…"

"Good ones, I hope," I said nervously.

"Some of the best memories I have," he said, placing his hand on the back of my neck so he could pull me into a kiss. The second his tongue touched mine, we started backing up; I held on to the front of his shirt as he pinned me against the door. I moaned quietly while his tongue played tenderly with mine. I let out a tiny, involuntary whimper when our lips finally parted.

"You have no idea…" he whispered, burying his face in the space between my neck and my shoulder while his fingers toyed with the fabric of my skirt. "How many times I considered making love to you in my office…"

My face flushed, "W-why didn't you?"

"Because, as long as we were at Hogwarts, I was your _teacher,_" he said, his voice racked with guilt. "Even if our relationship extended beyond student and professor, I knew part of me would feel extremely guilty – perhaps for the rest of my life – if I allowed myself to cross too far past that line."

_That's why we went to the Shrieking Shack for Valentine's Day,_ I thought absently as I wrapped my arms around him. _And out of the castle for his birthday; it wasn't just to have privacy… It was so we could get away._

"I also considered trying to remove the anti-student spell on my living quarters," Remus continued. "But I knew that if I did that, I would be dragging you back there constantly, and I'm sure Dumbledore would have noticed if I removed the spell-"

"It wouldn't have mattered," I said, my heart leaping into my throat at his implications. "He knew all along."

Remus pulled back, looking at me seriously, "He did?"

I nodded, "Yeah… Before the graduation ceremony, he… he tried to comfort me, because I was still upset about you leaving. He told me that he knew about us the entire time."

"Well," Remus said, laughing a dry, nervous laugh as he pulled me back into his arms. "That bit of information would have been handy several months ago, huh?"

"Yeah," I agreed. "No kidding."

"But I suppose it was for the best," he sighed, stroking my hair softly. "You deserve better than a tiny, rickety bed in a cramped, damp room-"

I shook my head, standing on the tips of my toes so I could give him a quick kiss, "I would have _loved_ it, Professor Lupin. You would have made it wonderful; you always do."

"I'm not your professor anymore," he said, sounding a little melancholy about it.

"Maybe not," I said, touching his cheek with the tips of my fingers. "But you'll always be my sweet, charming Professor Lupin; the man who likes to talk about books with me, the man who taught me to dance, a-and…" I swallowed, my heart was pounding so loud I could hear it in my ears, "The man who was so gentle the first time he made love to me…"

If there was anything else after that, I didn't get to it before his mouth crashed into mine once again. He hooked his hands under my armpits, lifting me up off of the floor, so that we were eye-to-eye before he braced me against the door. I moaned again – wildly this time – as I wrapped my legs around his torso. Remus wiggled one of his hands between our bodies and started to unbutton my shirt.

Suddenly, he paused, pulling away from our heated kiss. He looked grave, and a little frightened, "Violet, did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" I said, leaning in to kiss him again.

"_Shit!_" I heard someone curse downstairs. "_That hurt!_"

"_Shhh! Be quiet!"_ another voice snapped. "_And watch where you're going. Do you want to wake up the entire house?_"

I gulped, feeling my stomach roll over with panic, "Remus…"

"Shh, come on," he whispered, kissing me quickly before he lowered me back down. We both grabbed our wands off of the dresser.

"Lumos," Remus muttered, causing the tip of his wand to light up like a flashlight. I grabbed onto his other hand as we left the bedroom.

I ran over several scenarios on our way downstairs; everything from burglars to Death Eaters. By the time we reached the bottom of the steps, I was shaking so violently that I nearly dropped my wand.

"You can go back upstairs, if you like," he whispered, rubbing my hand with the pad of his thumb.

"N-no, I'm fine," I stammered. In reality, I was afraid to be alone. We wandered through the living room and into the kitchen, but there was no one else in sight.

_What if they went upstairs?_ I thought. _Oh no; Lutie and the others are asleep up there…_

We discovered the trespassers in the dining room; they too were finding their way around my aid of wand light. There were two of them – that we could see – struggling to see in the dark.

"Stop right there," Remus said, causing both of them to let out a tiny yelp. One of those yelps – the high-pitched, girly one - sounded oddly familiar…

"Moony, what the bloody hell are you doing?" Sirius hissed. "Creeping around in the middle of the night; you scared me half to death!"

"Padfoot?" Remus gaped. "Is that you?"

"Of course it's me!" Sirius snapped. "Who else would it be?"

"P-p-please don't hurt us!" Jeff cried.

_I thought that was him_, I thought, sighing with relief as I struggled to find the light switch in the dark. "Hang on just a second…"

"Violet?" Jeff said, his voice suddenly flooding with hope. "Daughter, was that your angelic voice I heard just now?"

"Yup," I said, running my hands over the wall. Still no switch. I slid my hand out of my lover's grasp so I could venture out and find it.

"What are you two doing down here?" Remus asked, holding up his wand to illuminate their faces. "It's the middle of the night-"

"Ah, here it is," I said, proudly flicking the lights on. We all flinched for a moment before we got used to the light that instantly flooded the room.

Sirius and Jeff were quite the sight. Both sported a solid black outfit, complete with ski caps and shoe polish-painted faces. They looked so bazaar, I was surprised when all of the eyes in the room landed on me…

Until I looked down and remembered that I was still wearing my old school uniform, and that the top half of my shirt remained unbuttoned. Remus and I blushed furiously, while Sirius and Jeff erupted with laughter.

"Oh ho _ho_," Jeff crowed. "It looks like Professor Lu-Lu's been doing some more late-night tutoring!"

I pulled my shirt closed, crossing my arms tightly over my chest. I glanced over at Remus, and noticed that his eyes were darting all over the room, as if to avoid making eye contact with anyone.

"Oh lord…" Sirius roared. "Please, Moony, tell me, you were going to punish her for being naughty! Haha!" he leaned against the table, slapping his knee with amusement, "This is the best! I'm never going to let you two live this one down!"

Remus cleared his throat, "Quit trying to change the subject; what are the two of you doing, creeping around like burglars in the middle of the night?"

"Yeah," I said. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"And it appears we interrupted some very interesting foreplay," Sirius added, shooting a quick wink in our direction. "Sorry about that, old friend."

"Yeah, we didn't mean to," Jeff said, sounding genuinely sorry instead of smug. "You two can go back to your kinky love-games, and we'll just be on our way."

"On your way _where_?" I asked, blushing as I adjusted my shirt, to make sure I was completely covered.

"To rescue my beloved Penelope," Jeff declared, jumping onto the dining room table.

"Get down from there," I said, swatting his leg. "That's very old; you'll break it."

"Rescue Penelope?" Remus repeated.

"Yup!" Jeff said as he hopped off of the table. "I figured, if Sirius could break out of Azkaban, he'd make the best partner for this super dangerous mission."

_Somehow, I don't think this is quite the same thing,_ I thought, but I elected to keep that to myself.

"Sirius, you can't be…" Remus trailed off, clearing his throat before he even said it. "What if you get caught?"

"We're not going to get caught," he said, crossing his arms.

"Uh-huh…" I said. "And… How were you planning on getting to Penelope's house, exactly?"

"Well, we were thinking we'd take the car," Jeff said, as guilty as the kid who got caught stealing cookies out of the cookie jar.

"Do either of you even know how to drive a car?" Remus asked.

Jeff shook his head, "Nope."

"I can drive a motorcycle," Sirius said proudly, like it was something that would earn him a Nobel Prize someday.

My palm collided with my forehead, "That's not the same thing; it isn't even close."

"We can see your bra," Jeff smirked.

"Ah!" I huffed, struggling to get my shirt closed again. I didn't want to dwell on that subject, so I went right on with my lecture. "So, let me get this straight; you were going to steal my car-"

"_Steal_ is such a strong word," Sirius interrupted calmly. "Jeffery and I decided we like the term _appropriate_ much better; it sounds more professional, don't you think?"

"You were going to _steal my car,_" I continued. "And drive off in the middle of the night, to God knows where, to try to win back Penelope Clearwater?"

"… Yeah," Jeff shrugged. "That was pretty much the idea."

Sirius rubbed his hands together, "So, if you could just point us in the direction of the car keys, we'll be on our-"

"I'm not letting you take the car," I said sternly. "You can't even drive!"

"Then _you_ drive us," Sirius snorted.

Jeff's eyes lit up, "Hey, that's not a bad idea…"

I felt all the blood draining from my face, "Jeff, I'm not-"

"Please, Vi-Vi!" he begged, falling to his knees in front of me. His eyes seemed to swell up to twice their normal size as he groveled at my feet, "You have to help me! I can't lose her; I just can't! Please…"

"Fine," I grumbled, unable to find it in my heart to turn him down. "I'll go along with this; but only because you've done so much for me..."

"Yes!" Jeff cheered, leaping up to give me a hug. "Thank you! Thank you!"

"You wanna come along too, mate?" Sirius asked, patting Remus on the back. "I'm sure your naughty school girl will be _so_ lonely without her darling Professor Lu-Lu…"

_Great, now there are four of them,_ I thought, feeling my cheeks grow red yet again.

Remus scratched the back of his head, "I suppose it couldn't hurt… But you'll have to _very_ careful, Sirius. If someone sees you, _all of us_ will be in trouble; perhaps even arrested."

"Don't worry about it," Sirius said. He obviously wasn't concerned about getting thrown back in prison. "If we think we see anybody, I can just turn into a dog."

"Let me run upstairs and change into something… respectable," I said, pushing myself out of Jeff's hug. He and Sirius both snickered as I started for the stairway. "Then we can be on our way."

*

Author's Notes

Hey, remember me? Anyway, I have two **very important**__things I wanted to tell you about before you leave.

Item number one: I'm not sure if you, my darling readers, are aware of just how much work goes into this little yarn of mine, but a lot of this stuff is planned out _months_ in advance. In fact, my outline for _Waiting for the Moon to Rise_ currently extends into the first part of OotF, and I already have a few ideas concerning HBP and DH.  
Anyway, at some point – and I'm not going to say when, because I don't want to _totally_ spoil it for you – Violet and Remus will produce what we would call a "child". It's an unfortunate side affect that sometimes occurs when two individuals love each other so much that they can't keep their paws off each other for five seconds.  
But I kid (no pun intended); I'm excited for the baby to arrive. And I want _you_ to help me name it! That's right; **you**. There is a poll in my profile with further instructions. Also, feel free to message me any other name ideas you've got; or if you just want to say "hi".  
The poll will remain open until poor Violet suffers through child birth. Happy voting!

Item number two: I have started not one, but _two_ new Harry Potter stories! But do not fret, _Waiting for the Moon to Rise_ will remain my main focus, as these two won't be near as long (they'll probably be finished before this one). So if you're really bored, you should check them out.

Okay, I'll quit hogging all your time now,  
Komaki.


	59. Chapter 59

"Violet, why do you have to drive so bloody slow?" Sirius grumbled from the backseat.

"I'm going the speed limit," I said simply.

"At this rate, we'll never get there," Jeff said helplessly. "And then some other prince will steal Penelope away from me!"

"If these directions you gave me are correct, we've got about an hour left to go," I said, sliding the car into a service station parking lot. "I'm sure Penelope will be able to wait for another hour."

"What are we doing here?" Remus asked, looking out the window curiously. "Didn't we fill up at the last stop?"

"I have to pee," I said, parking sloppily.

"_Again?_" Jeff groaned.

"This is the second time we've stopped," Sirius complained. "Maybe you should just go in there and get a cup or something; save us some time in the future."

"Shut up," I snapped, turning off the car and shoving the keys into my pocket. My father, stepmother, and sister had taken the good car when they left, so I was stuck with the old, rusty Bentley. The door creaked when I opened it, and I had to put my entire weight into one forceful push to get it shut again.

I darted into the service station as quickly as I could, hardly noticing how disgusting and grimy the bathroom looked. Any other time, I probably would have ran right back out, electing to just "hold it" until we arrived at the next service station, but I felt like my poor bladder was about to explode, and if we hadn't come upon that station, I might have ended up following Sirius' advice and taking care of my business in a cup.

On my way out, it was very tempting to buy something to eat; my stomach was growling and the stale doughnuts sitting out might as well have been a king's feast.

_No!_ I told myself, nodding politely at the attendant as I exited the store. _That's why you're starting to get fat; you eat junk all the time. You need to stop eating chocolate every time Remus offers you some, or you'll end up as round as Uncle Jack._

When I returned to the car, Sirius – now in the form of a huge black dog – was sitting in the driver's seat, his paws on the wheel. Jeff was rolling around in the back seat, laughing hysterically. I think Remus might have been trying to pretend that he was somewhere else.

"Alright, move over," I said, chuckling a little myself as I forced the stiff door open. Sirius obediently crawled into the back seat with Jeff.

"Are you feeling alright?" Remus asked as I slid back into the car, shutting the door behind me with a _bang_.

"I'm fine," I said, smiling at him reassuringly as I started up the car. The engine sputtered for a few seconds before it roared to life. "I just drank a lot before we left, that's all; you don't need to worry."

"Are you sure?" he pressed. "If you aren't feeling well, I can drive for a bit."

"I'm sure," I said, forcing the car into gear. I stepped on the gas and pulled out of the station, and back out on to the open road. Once the service station was out of view, Sirius morphed back into a human, stretching his arms out as far as he could in the tiny back seat.

It was a bit eerie, being the only car out so late at night. None of us were very talkative for most of the trip; one glance in the rearview mirror told me that both Jeff and Sirius had dark circles forming under their eyes. When I glanced over at Remus, I found him eyeing me with tired blue eyes.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him.

"Nothing, really," he said, gently tugging my left hand from the steering wheel so he could hold onto it. "This all just seems a little… out there, I suppose."

"At this point, nothing really surprises me anymore," I said, glancing at Jeff in the rearview mirror. He was staring out the window, looking quite miserable. He hadn't even put on makeup before we left, and sported jeans instead of a skirt.

Remus chuckled, "Have you become desensitized?"

"I guess you could say that," I shrugged. "A year ago, if you told me that I'd be driving my dad's old Bentley for two and a half hours down an old deserted road at night with an escaped convict, a lovesick transvestite, and my former werewolf-professor-turned-lover, on a quest to rescue Penelope Clearwater, I would have told you that you've lost your mind. But by now, I'm used to it."

"When you say it like that, you make us all sound mad," Sirius said with a yawn.

"Maybe we are," I mused absently. "Why else would we be-"

"For love," Jeff interrupted. "Love makes you do things you wouldn't normally consider rational."

_I don't think you've ever been rational, Jeff; in love or not,_ I thought.

"You're right, Mr. Flanders," Remus said, touching the back of my hand to his dry lips for a brief kiss.

"Would you rescue Vi-Vi if Ari, Ash and I tried to keep her away from you?" Jeff asked.

_Ashley did try that,_ I thought, briefly remembering the moment where she had tried to keep me from seeing Remus on the platform after graduation.

"Of course I would," he said without hesitation.

"Oh, so you would violate her parents' wishes?" Jeff said, arching his eyebrow.

"You're going to violate Penelope's parents' wishes," Sirius reminded him.

"That is completely different," said Jeff. He crossed his arms, as if to show us that he meant business.

"It doesn't seem that different to me," I said, unable to keep myself from smirking. Finally, we had _Jeff_ backed into a corner for a change.

"It isn't even close," he said. "Ari, Ashley and I are Vi-Vi's pseudo-parents, so violating our wishes is like… one of the worst sins a man can commit."

"Worse than violating a _real_ parent's wishes?" I asked.

Jeff nodded, "Of course," there was a brief pause, and Jeff's expression quickly changed from a whimsical grin to an angry scowl. "Real parents are the pits."

Sirius snorted, "I'd drink to that any day of the week."

"My parents aren't that bad, actually…" Remus said, sounding a little embarrassed.

"Jerk," Sirius muttered.

"Yeah, what a shithead," Jeff agreed.

I chuckled, "I'm sure he thinks he's _so_ much better than us, with his happy little family and all."

"What?" Remus asked with dismay. "I can't help it; I didn't _choose_ to be born into a loving family."

"Oh!" Jeff gasped pointing off into the distance. "See that light? That's Penny-Poo's house! We're almost there!"

"Thank goodness," I yawned. "I was beginning to think we'd past it or something. What's the plan once we get there?"

"Well… I hadn't really planned that far ahead," Jeff confessed.

"Wonderful," I grumbled, turning into what I assumed was the driveway. "I suppose I should have known."

"I thought Sirius would be able to take it from there," he pouted. "He _is_ the master, after all."

He smirked, "That's true."

"You sure there's enough room back there for your ego, Padfoot?" Remus snickered.

"Plenty, thank you," Sirius sneered, kicking the back of Remus's seat. "Is there enough room up there for your libido, Professor Lu-Lu?"

"Sirius!" Remus hissed, tightening his grip on my hand. A quick glance to my left told me that he was blushing, as well. I always felt a little better when it wasn't just me…

"Ohhh," Jeff crowed. "He went there, _and_ back!"

"Children, please calm down," I said, wishing I didn't sound so flustered. I shut off the headlights as we neared the house; when we got close, I shut the car off completely. "We'll have to walk from here; I don't want the car to wake anyone up."

"That's probably a good idea," said Remus.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "This piece of junk is louder than a two-Galleon whore."

"And I think it would be best if _you_ transformed back into a dog," I continued as I forced the driver's side door open. When the hunk of metal finally gave way, I tumbled out of the car, somersaulting onto the gravel driveway below. My eyes started to tear up when the jagged rocks scraped against my face.

"Violet!" Remus panicked, leaning out the door to make sure I was alright.

"Daughter!" Jeff gasped, sounding equally distraught.

Sirius, in sharp contrast, laughed hysterically, "You really are graceful, aren't you?"

"Shut up, you dumb mutt," I scowled, quickly jumping up and dusting myself off. I touched the side of my face that had a met the gravel; the cuts were sore, but didn't seem to be very deep. I didn't think I was even bleeding.

"Are you alright?" Remus groaned as he crawled over – the passenger side door was stuck shut permanently – and out of the vehicle.

I nodded, "Yes, I'm alright."

He caressed my face, and somehow, his touch didn't sting half as much as my own did. Despite their rough texture, his hands were always so gentle…

"Alright, tallyho!" Jeff cheered, using his – almost nonexistent – ass to shut the car door. Sirius, who had already followed my advice and transformed himself into a dog, barked excitedly.

"Shhh!" I hissed at them. "We don't want to wake anyone up."

"Oh, right," Jeff whispered. "Sorry…"

The four of us looked up at the Clearwater house. Despite being several yards away, it still looked rather large; it was easily the size of our own home. It looked like the kind of house Penelope would live in; cute, homey, and inviting. The smell of fresh paint suggested that the white coloring of the exterior was fresh.

Sirius led the way, with Jeff following close behind. I couldn't help but smile; those two seemed to be getting really close. I think they bonded over Buckbeak and their mutual love of dirty jokes. Remus and I brought up the rear; his hand was rested against my back, guiding me forward through the dark.

"How are we going to get in?" he whispered, his voice sounding even more hoarse than usual.

"I don't know," said Jeff.

Sirius barked a response, leading us around to the back of the house, where we found a cellar door. He pawed at the aged wood, looking up at us expectantly.

"Good thinking, boy!" Jeff said, bending down to scratch Sirius behind his floppy dog ears. "Always go for the secret entrance! You really are smart."

_I think I could have come up with that,_ I thought, pulling my wand out of my sweater pocket. I coughed, pointing it at the padlock on the cellar doors, "Alohomora."

The lock snapped off of the doors, falling to the ground with a light _thud_. Remus and Jeff heaved the doors open, one of them on each side. The aged, rusty hinges creaked so loudly that I covered my ears to protect them from the horrid sound. Sirius eagerly lunched down into the dark abyss that lay ahead of us as if it were nothing. Jeff followed, a little bit slower, and soon he too was swallowed by the darkness.

I gulped, staring down into the hole in the ground with apprehension. I felt the familiar sensation of my hands shaking at my sides, and I was suddenly very thankful that I hadn't gotten a bite to eat at the service station; my stomach was sloshing around already, and we hadn't even gone inside.

"R-remind me why I went along with this," I whispered, in an attempt to lighten my own mood.

"It does seem a bit… _silly_," Remus agreed as he laced his fingers through mine. "I suppose the two of us just have that character archetype; the sane friend that somehow keeps getting roped into these crazy schemes-"

Jeff's head popped out of the blackness, his irritated expression illuminated by the light at the tip of his wand. "Are the two of you coming or what? Sirius and I already found the door that leads into the house."

"Right," I gulped. "Sorry, we just got a little distracted…"

"I'm sure you did," Jeff said, wagging his eyebrows at us.

"It was nothing explicit," Remus assured him. "We were just talking."

"_Right_," he sighed, clearly not believing that for a second. He held out his delicate, bony hand to me, "I'll lead you and your lover through the darkness, Vi-Vi."

"Thank you," I said, grabbing onto his hand.

Jeff snickered as he pulled me into the basement. I nearly tripped on the first step; I hadn't expected them to ne quite so steep. I heard Remus groan with pain when he reached bottom.

"Is your back bothering you?" I asked, looking up at him, though I could only make out his basic outline in the dark.

"My knee," he grunted. "Don't fret; it's just because it's so damp down here. Let's just hurry along."

"I don't understand why we couldn't just knock on the front door," I grumbled as we followed Jeff across the basement and up another – taller – flight of stairs. "I'm pretty sure what we're doing counts as a felony."

"Because Penelope's mum and dad wouldn't even let me _near_ her," Jeff said helplessly. "They said that if they ever catch me on their property again, they'd make me wish I'd never laid eyes on Penny-poo."

"That sounds familiar," Remus muttered under his breath, so quietly that I'm sure the words weren't meant for anyone's ears but his own.

_So that's why he went along with all this so willingly,_ I realized suddenly. _He understands what Jeff is going through. I've never thought about it like that…_

The stairway led us to the living room, which was sparsely furnished and covered with shag carpeting. That was good, at least; if they had wood floors, Sirius would be making a racket every time his dog-claws touched the floor.

Just as that thought crossed my mind, another light appeared at the end of the hallway. We were addressed by a familiar voice, which was quivering almost as much as my hands were.

"Who's there?" Penelope Clearwater demanded, not managing to sound very intimidating.

"Penny-poo," Jeff said, his voice soft with compassion. "It's me, and I've brought my most trusted knights to help me rescue you!"

"You- ah!" Penelope gasped, jumping as Sirius rubbed against her long, curvy legs. With her wand lowered, I could make out her face. Her eyes were red and puffy, suggesting that she had been doing a lot of crying. Her hair was still held in the basic position she had styled it into for the party.

"Don't worry, he's just… a little overly friendly," said Remus. "He won't bite."

"We're getting him fixed soon," I assured her. Sirius glared at me, letting out a soft growl.

"V-violet… Professor Lupin…" Penelope murmured, looking quite surprised to see us. "You're here, too? Oh goodness…"

"We're here to rescue you," Jeff repeated, grabbing onto her hand with both of his. "You're going to come live with us in our glorious castle-"

"We don't have a castle," I interrupted.

"Shhhh!" Jeff hissed at me before returning his attention to Penny. "Please, my love; come away with me!"

"Oh, Jeff…" Penelope moaned, her eyes glazing over with either passion or tears; or both. "This is terribly romantic, but I can't; Mummy and Daddy-"

"They don't understand how we feel about each other," Jeff said, stroking the side of her face tenderly. If Jeff's touch had even half the power that Remus's did, there's no way she'd be able to resist his request. "Please, Penny… I'm just not whole without you. I love you."

Her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, "Jeff, you shouldn't say things like that unless-"

"I mean it?" he finished for her. "I do mean it; I love you, Penelope Clearwater, and I don't care what anyone else thinks about it."

Finally, she broke down, throwing her arms around the lanky figure in front of her and burying her face in the front of his t-shirt, "I love you too, Jeffery Flanders! I really do…"

"Then come away with me," he whispered, kissing the side of her face. "We have a chariot awaiting outside-"

"Actually, it's an old Bentley," I said. "But who cares about specifics, right?"

"Vi-vi, would you kindly shut up?" Jeff snarled, though at this point, I don't think anything could have wiped the smile off of his face; he had been harboring a schoolboy crush on Penelope for years, and she had just professed her feelings of love. He would probably be smiling for a long time.

"I don't care if we have to walk," Penelope said, sounding breathless as she wrapped her arms around Jeff's neck. "I'll come with you."

Jeff's grin grew to new proportions as he pulled Penelope close to him, leaning down to nuzzle her dark curls and her long, pale neck, "Princess, you've just made me the happiest transvestite in the world."

"Mmmm…" she whimpered, easily falling victim to her lover's touch. "J-just let me pack a few things, okay?"

"Of course," he said, kissing her forehead before freeing her from their loving embrace.

"Violet, do you think you could help me?" Penelope asked. Even from across the room, I could see her cheeks flushing an elegant shade of pink.

"Hmm? Oh, sure," I said, suddenly remembering that the scene which had been playing out in front of us was reality, and that Remus, Sirius, and I were all a part of it. "I'll give you a hand."

"You can wait out here," Penelope said, nodding towards the living room before she led me off down the hall. "This will only take a minute."


	60. Chapter 60

Penelope's room was down at the far end of the hallway, and it was nothing like I had expected it to be. Aside from the usual bedroom trimmings – a bed, a dresser, and so on – every centimeter of the room was covered in Beatles paraphernalia. Posters lined the walls, albums covered the dresser, and other collector's items took up all the space on the shelves. Everything was bright and psychedelic, to a point where it almost made me dizzy.

She laughed nervously when she noticed I was staring, "I'm a bit of a fan…"

"I noticed," I said.

"My parents are muggles," she said, sounding a little embarrassed. "I've been listening to The Beatles my whole life. That's actually what attracted me to Jeff in the first place; he reminded me of George Harrison, in a weird kind of way… Oh, but that's not why we're here, is it?"

I smiled, "Yes, we should probably hurry-"

"Well, that isn't why I wanted you to come with me," she admitted. "I actually… I was hoping I could talk to you…"

_Why? I'm terrible at talking…_ I thought, holding back the urge to groan. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know," she said, sitting down on the edge of her bed. "I'm just so… _scared_. I've never felt like this before. I mean, I was with Percy for a long time, but he was so…"

_Arrogant?_ I thought during her brief pause, having to hold back the urge to smirk and mutter the word aloud.

"Standoffish," she finished. "He never wanted to hold me, never really told me I was pretty… We did love each other, I think, but it was nothing like what I have with Jeff. Jeff is so…"

Once again, I finished her sentence in my head, _Weird? Perverted?_

"Sweet," she said dreamily. "And funny…"

"I'm really happy for both of you," I said, sitting down next to her. "I think he really cares about you."

"It's just so nerve wracking," she said, staring at her slipper-covered feet. "I've never felt so vulnerable before."

"I know what you mean," I said, offering her an awkward smile.

She swallowed, "So… You and Professor Lupin were together the whole time, huh?"

I felt that familiar burning sensation in my cheeks, "Y-yeah, we were…"

"That's so romantic," she said, surprising me. I was expecting some sort of interrogation, or at least a '_that was really inappropriate'._

"Yeah, it was," I said, the memories of our early courtship brought a smile to my face. "I… It sounds so stupid, but I fell for him right away. He was just so handsome and kind, I couldn't help myself."

"He was," Penelope agreed, giggling girlishly. "I know there were several other girls who had a little crush on him; I heard Nicky Valentine mention it several times."

I wrinkled my nose, "Nicky? For real?"

Penelope nodded, "Once, when some of us were sitting in the common room, she said something to the effect of, _I'd give anything to do everything to that man_."

_I know that feeling,_ I thought, feeling the tiny green monster of jealousy creep out at the mere suggestion of Remus with another woman. I knew it was that secret fear that, one day, he would realize that he could have any woman he wanted; that he didn't have to settle for shaky, nervous, shy old Violet.

"That's so weird," I said, trying to stifle my envy as best as I could. I felt silly; to be jealous of another girl's crush when I was the lucky lady who got to curl up next to his warm, naked body every night. "I never would have thought of Remus as her type."

"I don't think he'd like her very much, either," Penelope said, swabbing away all but a few traces of the green fiend. Because of her shyness, Penny had been a target of Nicky's teasing since our early years at school. But even so, I was surprised at the bitterness in her voice when she said, "She's too caddy and superficial for him."

I snorted, "I think she might be too caddy and superficial for anyone with a pulse, really."

Penelope laughed, "At first, I thought it was kind of creepy – what with him being so much older than you – but now that I've seen the two of you together, I think you're a good match."

I was grinning so widely that my face was starting to hurt.

Her eyes darted to the other side of the room – towards a cardboard cutout of Ringo Starr – and her facial expression suddenly became very serious, "What did your parents say when they found out?"

I swallowed, "They went mental, of course. My stepmother especially had some nasty things to say about him."

"That's awful…" Penelope sniffled. "Jeff mentioned that you'd had a fight… It's so dreadful that they can't understand…"

_This isn't just about me,_ I realized. _Penelope's talking about her own circumstances…_

It suddenly hit me like a sack of bricks. _The situation is almost exactly the same; she and Jeff are going through the same thing Remus and I did._

"Don't cry," I said, awkwardly reaching over to rub her back. "It hurts a lot – believe me, I know – but… Well, for me at least, I can't imagine my life without Remus."

"Y-yes," Penelope stuttered, wiping her nose on her sleeve. "I can't picture what my life would be like right now if it weren't for Jeff."

"Then it will all work out," I promised. "And I'm sure our parents will come around… eventually."

I had never met the Clearwaters before, and I had no idea if they were the type of people who would come around, but that seemed to be what Penelope wanted to hear. She perked back up instantly, jumping off of the bed and pulling her wand out of her pocket.

"I guess I'd better get packed up," she said, wordlessly waving her wand. I jumped, pulling my legs up as a trunk slid out from under the bed. The drawers on the dresser opened, and all of Penelope's belongings found a home in the trunk; clothes, knickknacks, and all of her Beatles-related things.

I couldn't help but stare at her in amazement. I suppose I shouldn't have been so surprised; Penelope was a Ravenclaw, after all…

_There's more to her than I ever realized,_ I thought. _It's so strange; we shared a dormitory for seven years, and I'm just now getting to know her._

"I think that's everything," she said, looking around the room one last time.

"Maybe you should leave a note," I suggested. "So your parents don't worry."

"That's probably a good idea," she said, reaching into the trunk for a piece of parchment and a quill. She sat down at her vanity, talking aloud as she wrote. "_Dear Mum and Dad… I'm sorry to leave without telling you, but I know you'd only try to stop me. I have to follow my heart… I'm in love with Jeffery Flanders, and I'm going to be moving in with him. Please… don't be concerned about me; Jeff is a really sweet guy, and I'm sure someday you'll be able to see that. Love… Penelope._"

Penelope sighed, reading over the scribbled note a few times before she folded it delicately, leaving it on the vanity for her family to find. She put the ink and quill back into the trunk before shutting it quietly.

"Here, let me get that for you," I offered, pointing my own wand at the trunk as I uttered my spell, "Wingardium Leviosa."

"Thank you," Penelope said sweetly, leading the way back out into the living room.

"There you are, my sweet Penny," Jeff said, embracing her as soon as she came into his line of vision. "It was taking you so long that I was beginning to think Vi-Vi had seduced you."

Penelope broke out into a blush, "W-why would you think something like that?"

Remus smirked at us from his spot on the sofa, "It isn't completely inconceivable; Violet is very beautiful."

It was my turn to blush, "But I would never-"

"Do something with Penelope without inviting us in to watch?" Jeff finished, wagging his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes, "Penelope, are you sure you want to run away with this pervert?"

She looked up at Jeff, pushing a lock of hair out of his face, "Yes, I'm sure."

"We should probably be leaving, then," I said, unable to keep myself from smiling at the lovebirds.

"Awww, but we haven't even had a showdown with the villain yet," Jeff pouted, pulling Penny close to him.

"That's probably for the best," Remus sighed, forcing himself off of the couch. "In fact, I'm sure all heroes wish they had it this easy."

"We can go out the front door," Penelope said, pointing us in that general direction. Sirius led the way, slipping past Penelope when she opened the door. Jeff clung onto her hand for dear life, as if he were afraid he would lose her again if he let go before we got her to the car. Remus and I followed close behind; I continued to tow the trunk along while he held onto my other hand, walking close enough to me that our arms were touching.

"I'm really happy for those two," I whispered as we made our way back to the car.

"I just hope they know what they're getting into," Remus whispered back, squeezing my hand gently. "When you're young and in love, you don't always make rational decisions."

"We're young and in love," I reminded him.

"If you're really stretching the definition of the word _young_," he said.

I giggled, "Fine; _I'm_ young and in love, then. Does that mean I don't make rational decisions?"

"T-that's completely different," he said, sounding very flustered. "You're… a bit more down to earth than Jeffery or Miss Clearwater. You've got a good head on your shoulders."

"That doesn't stop me from melting every time you kiss me," I said, flashing a brief, coy smile.

He looked at me, quite puzzled, "Do I really have that strong of an effect on you?"

"Of course you do," I said. Keeping that trunk levitated was the only thing that kept me from throwing my arms around him. I suddenly longed to lose myself in him, to be engulfed by his warm body and that familiar sent of chocolate and old books.

Remus lifted my hand to his mouth, kissing it gently. His mustache brushed across the back of my hand as he whispered, "It's good to know the feeling is mutual."

"I know, aren't they adorable?" I heard Jeff say to Penelope. He was speaking loud enough that I knew he meant for us to hear him. "Before we left to come get you, Vi-Vi had dressed up in her old school uniform to help recreate all the lusty late-night tutoring sessions they shared."

I blushed furiously, "Jeff!"

"I don't think that's something Miss Clearwater needs to hear about," said Remus.

"Y-yes," I stuttered in agreement.

Jeff snickered, "Vi-Vi, would you be a dear and unlock the car?"

"Here," I grumbled, tossing him the keys, which – despite his usual grace – landed at his feet after he made an awkward attempt to catch them. "And open the trunk so Remus and I could get this thing put away."

Jeff unlocked the car and forced the door open, allowing Penny to crawl inside before he followed in after her. After a few seconds, the trunk of the care popped open and I clumsily maneuvered Penelope's trunk into the… trunk. Sirius jumped up and down, barking with excitement.

"You didn't really help at all, did you?" I said to him as I reached up to shut the trunk. Remus rushed to my aid, and together we were able to get it closed.

Sirius turned up his nose at me before he trotted off, joining the two young lovers in the backseat.

"We're making good time," Remus said absently as he crawled into the passenger's seat. "I think we might be able to make it home before sunrise."

"If we don't have to stop," I added as I slid into the car. I glanced into the backseat as I forced the door shut; Penelope and Jeff were already attached at the lips, snogging feverishly. Jeff pulled Penny into his lap, and she eagerly pressed her body tightly against his while they kissed. My eyes widened as I saw Sirius slowly transforming back into a human.

Remus looked mortified, "Padfoot, stop-"

"Ahhhhh," Sirius sighed, stretching out his limbs. "That feels much better."

Penelope let out a yelp, which would have evolved into a full-fledged scream if Jeff hadn't clamped his hand over her mouth, keeping the noise inside. She kept trying to holler, but only mumbles were able to creep through between Jeff's fingers.

"Nice going," I grumbled, shooting a glare at the Animagus in the back seat.

"What?" Sirius said innocently. "Was it something I said?"

"Shh, it's alright, my love," Jeff whispered into her ear. "Sirius is a good guy, I promise! He's actually really nice."

"And overflowing with charisma and charm," he added, flashing a daring smile.

"And modest, too," said Remus, who couldn't help but laugh.

I smiled as I threw the car into reverse, maneuvering an awkward turn to get us out of the driveway and out onto the open road, _This is going to be a fun trip home…_


	61. Chapter 61

"How's that going, anyway?" Sirius asked as he peered over my shoulder, though I'd told him at least a dozen times that having someone watching me like that while I brew potions was one of my pet peeves. "How much longer is it going to be?"

"I just added the knotgrass," I said, my voice dripping with irritation. "It'll be about two more weeks."

He groaned, "I'm so sick of waiting."

"Yes, I'm aware," I said, moving on to my second project; preparing the Wolfsbane Potion for Remus. Unlike the obnoxiously complicated Polyjuice Potion, the Wolfsbane Potion only took a few hours to brew. The potion was a murky gray color, and continued to smoke as I dipped my ladle into the cauldron and poured a cupful for the resident werewolf.

Sirius wrinkled his nose, "That looks bloody awful. Are you sure that's right?"

"It looks like the potion Professor Snape used to give him," I said, putting the lid on the smaller cauldron, which housed the rest of the Wolfsbane Potion. If it was left open – I had already discovered the day before – the pale blue smoke would filter into the rest of the room and set off the smoke alarms.

"But is it supposed to be smoking like that?" he asked, following me back into the kitchen. It was a beautiful day; the window had been left open to allow the light summer breeze to filter into the house. We were greeted instantly by the smell of chocolate. The aroma of the cake in the oven made my stomach growl with desire.

The smell wasn't the only desirable entity that graced my kitchen. Remus stood at the counter, pouring the remaining cake batter into a cupcake tray. His eyes were narrowed with concentration, and after a few moments he dipped one of his long, bony fingers into the batter for a taste.

"I told you not to do that," I griped. "That stuff has raw eggs in it, you know."

"I don't know what you're talking about, my love," he said, going about his business as if nothing had happened. "I've just been getting these cupcakes ready, like you asked me to."

I laughed, "Your potion's ready."

He grimaced, "That part of the day already?"

I nodded, "I'm afraid so."

Remus sighed, putting the bowl of batter down on the counter before accepting the cup from me. He touched the cup to his lips, and instantly his face twisted with disgust.

"Are you _sure_ that's the right stuff?" Sirius asked as he sat down at the kitchen table. There, Penelope and Nana were working on using cheep food coloring to turn a tub of white frosting red (when Penelope asked why she couldn't just use magic, she'd received quite the lecture from the older woman). Penelope's face still went white every time she saw Sirius, but I think she was getting used to him. She worked as an assistant teacher in what would have been a wizarding equivalent to primary school – her goal, she had told us, was to nab McGonagall's job as Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts once the older woman retired – and her rent money would help us out immensely.

Aria, in the spirit of Sunday, was wearing her sweats and had her bushy blond hair pulled back with one of her scarves. She sipped at her fourth Butterbeer of the day while she skimmed articles in The Quibbler – a rubbish magazine that Luna Lovegood's father had begun printing. Luna had sent the latest issue along with a letter promising that we would receive a copy of each additional issue as it was released.

"Yes," Remus said before taking another swig. "I'm sure."

"Can't you add some sweetener to it?" Sirius asked.

I shook my head, "Adding anything else renders the potion useless."

"But it beats the alternative," Remus assured him before he finished off the vile drink.

"Bloody hell…" he muttered, resting his head in his hand.

"What on earth is that delectable sent?" Ashley asked as she stepped into the kitchen. Unlike Aria, Ashley was dressed up in her usual workday attire. Stephen followed after her, looking like a true weekender. His glassed hung on his face at an awkward angle and his hair looked as though it hadn't been brushed. He was still wearing PJs.

"We're making a cake," Penelope said cheerfully. "For Harry Potter's birthday."

"Why are we making him a birthday cake?" Ashley asked.

"Well, he _is_ my godson," Sirius explained.

Ashley gasped, "Nuh-uh! For reals?"

"Um… yes," Sirius said. "For reals. If you don't mind me asking, what's with the getup? You do know it's Sunday, right?"

"Yes, I know," said Ashley. "I'm going into the office for a few hours."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Haven't you ever heard of the weekend? It's this period of about two or even three days at the end of every week where one doesn't have to go slave at their dull nine-to-five job."

"Haven't you ever heard of a haircut?" Ashley quipped, tugging at a strand of his long hair playfully. "It's this thing you're supposed to get every once and awhile, to keep you looking like a respectable man."

Sirius swatted her hand away, "My hair is fine, thank you."

"But she does have a point," Aria said, putting her magazine aside. "Your hair is getting a little out of control; you should let me cut it for you. Then we'll all be able to see those beautiful eyes of yours."

He touched his long black locks thoughtfully, "Well… I guess if you really want to… It'll always grow back, I suppose."

"Um… Could you maybe cut mine, too?" Penelope asked meekly. "It's starting to get difficult to take care of."

Aria squealed with delight, "Of course! I love cutting hair! You two just have to promise me you won't let Jeff get to it first; he's always stealing my haircutting-thunder."

"Ashley, why are you going into the office today?" I asked finally. "It's very… uncharacteristically proactive of you."

She grinned broadly, "Well, my internship only lasts a few months. I really want to impress them so they offer me a _real_ job; I even know which group I want to work with."

"Which group is that?" Penelope asked.

Ashley hesitated for a few moments before she finally answered, "Well, there's this group in the ministry whose main focus is repealing the anti-werewolf laws…"

Remus sat his empty cup down on the counter, so roughly that it made a loud clattering sound as it hit the marble. "Miss Zimmer, I don't expect you to make such an important career decision-"

She held her hand up to silence him, "I'm not just doing this because you're shagging my daughter, Lu-Lu, or even because I think you're a nice fellow. I want to do this because the law is supposed to _protect_ us, not persecute us."

_Wow,_ I thought, smiling proudly at my friend, despite her lewd comment. _I guess I never thought of Ashley as being so… deep._

She broke into a fit of giggles, shattering the silence that had surrounded us, "Well, I have to be going. Goodbye, everyone!" She stood on her tiptoes to kiss Stephen before she skipped out of the kitchen.

"That girl is something else," Sirius said, shaking his head.

Aria nodded with agreement, "But her heart is in the right place."

"And maybe they'll get those laws changed," I said hopefully.

Remus shrugged, "They've been trying for years, but that legislation has so much support behind it, I doubt anything will change."

"Aww, have a little faith, Professor," said Penelope. "I'm sure it will all work out in the end."

He smiled, grabbing a spoon out of the drawer. He dipped it into the bowl of cake batter, making sure he got a big scoop of the chocolate goo before he slipped it into his mouth.

"You could at least try to be sneaky about it," I said, leaning against the fridge.

"I needed to get that taste out of my mouth somehow," he said, flashing me a brief smirk as he stepped closer to me. "Otherwise, I doubt this would be very pleasant for you."

Remus caught my face in his hand, pulling me forward until our lips crashed together. Sirius and Aria clapped and cheered as we kissed, and I closed my eyes in an attempt to block them out. After a few moments, he pulled away slowly, resting his forehead against mine. His hands slid from my cheeks to my shoulders.

"You taste like chocolate," I said breathlessly.

He gave me a quick, gentle peck on the lips, "Do I?"

I nodded, "Yes..."

"The cake is probably finished by now," he told me.

"Mhm…" I murmured, not really hearing exactly what it was he said.

"We should probably take it out of the oven," he continued. "Or it will burn."

"Just like Violet's face," Aria added gleefully.

"Oh, right!" I said, suddenly snapping out of my trance. I darted over to the oven and slipped on the mitts, pulling the cake out of the oven. The wonderful smell spread throughout the room in one large wave.

I saw Sirius licking his lips out of the corner of my eye, "That's brilliant."

"We can have some when the cupcakes are finished," I said, sliding the tray into the oven before I closed it. "Nana, how is that frosting coming along?"

"It looks more pink than red," she answered. "I'll try adding some more color to it."

"Take your time," I told her. "We have to wait for the cake to cool first, anyway."

"This was a good idea, Padfoot," Remus said, leaning against the counter. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer, resting his hand on my hip. "I think Harry will be glad to get something from you for his birthday."

I rested my head on his chest, clinging to the front of his shirt gently, unable to keep myself from smiling. He was being extremely affectionate, and I wondered briefly if it had anything to do with the upcoming full moon.

"It isn't going to make up for fourteen years of absence," Sirius said sadly. "But I suppose it's a good start."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Aria scolded. "I'm sure he realizes that you weren't exactly able to be a good godfather while you were in prison."

He shrugged, "I suppose…"

"Good morning, my friends!" Jeff said as he joined us, wearing only his boxers.

"It's almost two o'clock," I said. "Where have you been all day?"

"Why, dreaming of my lovely Penny-poo, of course," he said, grinning smugly as his eyes rested on her.

Penelope's face lit up like a lightening bug, "Good morning, Jeff."

"You look ravishing this morning, love," he said, strutting over to her. He leaned down to kiss her, and in an instant she was on her feet, wrapping her arms around Jeff while they continued to kiss passionately. It was almost too asinine to be real.

Aria laughed, glancing over at Remus and I, "Methinks the two of you have some competition."

I rolled my eyes, "We don't snog like maniacs every time we're in the same room."

"Then what was that lovely display of affection all about?" Sirius said, referring to the kiss Remus and I had just shared.

I felt my face heat up, "It isn't even the same thing."

"I don't know how you all can stand it," Stephen said, taking Penelope's seat at the table. He looked completely exhausted as he took off his glasses to rub his eyes. "Ashley's starting to drive me bloody crazy."

"She is?" Aria inquired, looking a little sad.

Stephen nodded, "She never takes her hands off of me. I hardly have any time to write anymore; she wants to shag almost every waking moment…"

"There's nothing wrong with that," said Sirius. "You should consider yourself lucky; most of them never want to shag at all."

Aria groaned, "That is _so_ not true. Girls like it just as much as guys do."

"They do?" Sirius and I asked together. Jeff and Penelope even halted their progress to hear Aria's response.

"_You_ do," Remus whispered into my ear, soft enough that only I could hear him. I blushed as he buried his face in the gap between my neck and my shoulders. The feeling of his mustache rubbing against my skin sent a chill down my spine.

"Of course we do," Aria said, as if we had just asked her the most ridiculous question he had ever heard. "But because of the social stigma, we just aren't as open about it. If a man talks about his sexual exploits, he's a stud, but if a woman brags about the same thing, she's a whore."

Jeff and Penelope lost interest there. Their lips reconnected, and Penny protested for only a moment before Jeff pulled her out into the hallway.

_I can't believe those two sometimes,_ I thought to myself. _They've been attached at the mouth since she moved in…_

"So, Ari," Sirius said, smirking as he propped his feet – which were covered with a pair of Nana's hand-knitted socks – on the table. "Tell us, then; would you like a good, long shag tonight?"

"Not from you, Mr. Black," Aria said, picking the Quibbler back up to hide her blushing face.

I gagged, "I can't believe you just said that, Sirius."

"What?" he said innocently. "I've been locked up in Azkaban for thirteen years; I wanna see if I've still got it."

Remus cleared his throat, "Be that as it may, Miss Tate is too…" he trailed off, and every drop of color slowly drained from his face.

"Too young for me?" Sirius finished, raising his eyebrows. "Is that what you were going to say?"

"No…" Remus said nervously. His eyes darted around the room, the way they always did when he felt as though he was being put on the spot.

"I don't think you have any room to talk there, mate," Sirius said, nodding in my direction. "Or have you forgotten that the age difference between Ari and myself is the same as the age difference between you and your beloved Violet? And it hasn't stopped the two of you from going at it like a couple of animals."

"It doesn't matter what the age difference is!" Aria snapped, throwing the magazine down onto the table. "Because I have a _boyfriend_! I'm not going to sleep with you while I'm going out with someone else!"

I swallowed, "Ari, maybe you should lay off the Butterbeer-"

"So you're saying that, if it weren't for Eddie, you _would_?" Sirius asked, looking even more smug than before. For a rather clever wizard, tact wasn't exactly his strong suit.

"_No_!" Aria growled, glaring darkly at Sirius before stomped off, nearly knocking Uncle Jack over as she pushed past the swinging door.

"What was that all about?" my uncle asked as he took Aria's seat at the table. The little wooden chair groaned under the weight of his round body.

"Hell, I don't know," Sirius said, sounding quite angry himself. "Women are just so damned irritable."

"It's your own fault," I said, a little surprised at my own bitterness.

"Yes," Nana agreed, using her cane to bonk Sirius on the head from across the table. "That was quite possible the most disgusting display I have ever seen; I am extremely disappointed in _all_ of you. Magical riffraff; you'd think you were all raised in a barn!"

Uncle Jack cleared his throat, "Speaking of women; Remus, have you… erm, taken care of that business we discussed earlier?"

"Hmm?" Oh, no," he said, looking a little flustered. "I haven't had the chance, but I'll get to it as soon as possible."

"No, please take your time," Uncle Jack insisted, picking up the Quibbler. "You don't want to rush these things."

Remus nodded, "Right, of course."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, looking up at Remus.

"Nothing," he said, kissing me on the forehead. "It's sort of… complicated; I'll tell you later."

"I still don't understand why she's so mad," Sirius grumbled, crossing his arms as he slumped down into his chair. "She started it…"

"Come on, sourpuss," I said. "Let's decorate Harry's cake."


	62. Chapter 62

Aria's grudge against Sirius lasted a lot longer than any of us had ever imagined. For a couple of days, she wouldn't even speak to him. By the evening of the full moon, she was still irritable with him, but at least she could bring herself to ask him to pass the butter at dinner, instead of asking me to, "tell that unruly creature to your left to pass the butter". Sirius was just as bad; he chased poor Eddie around the front yard for a good half an hour – in his Animagus form, of course – before I came to the poor chap's rescue.

Remus and I were both troubled by the battle between our best friends. We had both been overjoyed when Sirius seemed to fit into our little ramshackle family with such ease; it was devastating to see he and Aria butting heads.

"_I'm sure they'll get over it,_" I told him one night, while we were curled up in bed.

"_I hope so,"_ he said, running his fingers through my hair. _"Sirius can hold a grudge for ages if he really wants to."_

"_But Aria isn't like that at all,_" I said. _"This is so unusual for her…"_

"_One of them had better apologize soon,"_ Remus said as he pulled me closer. _"I don't know if I can take much more of this."_

"_Yes," _I said, curling up next to him, for both warmth and comfort. _"Me either…_"

The argument had come at the worst possible time; it was the first full moon Remus would have to suffer through under my roof, and I was a nervous wreck. My hands shook almost all the time, and my appetite seemed to be increasing more and more. However, I knew from past experience that if I ate too much in my nervous state, I would only get sick, so I did my best to stick to my normal diet.

I did my best to make the secret room in the library comfortable. After looking over the extra furniture in the storage room, I had selected a bed, a rug, a chair, a few end tables, and a dresser for the room, hoping to make the room appear a bit more homey.

"You didn't have to do all this for me, Violet," Remus said when I showed him the room. The sun was already down, the moon was on the rise, and he seemed almost as anxious as I was. He paced around the little room, fidgeting nervously with this and that.

"I want you to be comfortable," I said, approaching him. He jumped slightly when I grabbed onto his hand. "Your… transformation is already painful enough for you."

"Thank you," he said, touching the tips of his fingers to my cheek.

"I'm going to miss you," I said, shocked to find myself tearing up. Why was I crying? It would only be for one night; he wasn't leaving me forever.

"Don't cry," he begged, pulling me into his arms. "We'll be together again, soon."

"I know," I said, clinging to him tightly. "I know, but…"

"Sleeping alone will be difficult for me, too," he whispered, stroking my hair affectionately. "But we'll have to manage; and I'm sure it will be all the more wonderful the day after."

I tilted my head up, using the collar of his shirt to pull him down for a kiss. His tongue slid past my lips effortlessly, eager to give my mouth a fond farewell before we went our separate ways for the night. I shouldn't have done that, I realized almost right away; now it would be even more difficult to leave him.

Remus must have realized this as well, because he forced himself from our kiss quickly. "You need to leave; it will begin soon."

I opened my mouth to protest, "But-"

"Go!" he said, shoving me towards the door. I continued on, only half aware that I was still moving forward. I didn't even realize I was out in the library until I heard the secret door shut behind me. If I hadn't known any better, when I turned around I would have seen just a simple bookcase.

"I love you," I said softly, touching one of the leather-bound volumes tenderly. I stood there for several moments, wishing I had told him that before I'd allowed him to shove me from the room. "I'd love you no matter what, Remus. I really hope you know that…"

A deafening, horrifying scream pierced the air, frightening me so much that I stumbled backwards, landing on my bottom with a thud. I recognized the deep, hoarse voice instantly, and it brought tears to my eyes to hear my lover in such pain. The scream seemed to drag on for ages, until at last it turned into a wolfish howl.

The silence afterward was just as frightening. I stared at the bookshelf in front of me, not sure what I was supposed to do. Did he always scream like that? I couldn't remember.

I left the library, knowing that if I stayed in there for too long, the temptation to join Remus on the other side of the secret bookcase – which I had offered to do, though he quickly declined - would be too much for me. I stood in the hallway for several minutes, not really sure what I was supposed to do next.

"I really don't do much around here, do I?" I said to myself. "Moth and Ms. McGuff do all the housework; there really isn't anything that _needs_ doing."

But what was I supposed to do? Typical evenings usually involved some sort of group activity. We would play cards or board games, or just chat together. Sometimes Remus would play his records, and – if there happened to be no one else around – he would somehow talk me into dancing with him.

I tried to remember what I did with my free time before I'd met Lupin – I read, I suppose, or worked on my studies. But now there was no homework to do, and when I read, Remus was usually next to me. Occasionally, we would read aloud, but most of the time we read our own books, always side by side, simply enjoying eachother's presence. I'd gotten so used to feeling his body pressed lightly against mine while we sat next to each other in the living room or the library… Before, reading had always been a solitary activity for me, but I could no longer imagine doing even that alone.

"I'm so pathetic," I snorted, running my hand through my hair. "I can't do anything by myself…"

"Lost without your other half?" Sirius said, poking his head out of his bedroom.

I glared at him, "I am not."

He smirked, "You just said so yourself, Vi. Face it; you'd be a wreck if it weren't for Moony."

"I'm a wreck anyway," I said, surprised to find myself laughing a little. Sirius had a talent for cheering me up, even when I didn't want it.

"Yes, that's true," he shrugged. "But in all seriousness – and maybe it's only because I didn't know you before – I can't imagine how… erm, _frazzled_ you'd be without him around."

_You don't want to know what I was like before,_ I thought, knowing that old-Violet wouldn't have approved of Sirius, or visa-versa. He probably would have laughed at me if he had seen the mess I turned into after the end of my sixth year.

"It's nothing to be glum about," Sirius continued, when I didn't respond right away. "He's just as bad; the other day when you went out shopping with Lutie and her mum, all he did was listen to that damned record player and mope."

It felt weird, smiling at the thought of someone you care about being miserable. But it's always comforting to know that when you're missing someone, they miss you just as much.

Sirius sighed, "Sometimes I wish I had that…"

I swallowed, "Sirius-"

"Goodnight, Violet," he said, giving me a quick nod before he slipped back into his room. He shut the door with more force than was necessary, and the violent sound of the door closing shook the hall, causing one of the portraits hanging on the wall to fall. The glass in the frame shattered as it hit the floor.

I let out a deep sigh as I wandered over to the mess, pulling my wand out of the pocket on my cardigan along the way. I bent down and picked up the frame – or what was left of it – to see which picture Sirius had knocked down.

The faces in the muggle photograph looked up at me lifelessly. A younger version of my father held up a small child, while my mother held up the baby's arm, so that it was waving at the camera man. The child, of course, was me. I was almost completely bald, except for a thin layer of auburn hair on top of my little head.

"Reparo," I whispered, watching as the pieces of the frame jumped back into place. A new thought crossed my mind as I hung the picture back up on the wall.

_Would you approve of Remus, Mother?_ my mind whispered. I touched the tips of my fingers to the glass, looking deep into her gray eyes. _Or would you have been just as angry as Mira?_

It was a likely possibility; though I tended to remember her for her kindness, my mother was almost as stingy as my father's new wife. I wasn't sure if she was anti-wizard, but I had several distinct memories of her fighting with Uncle Jack (but that could just as easily have been about his gambling or his drinking).

I shook my head; I didn't want to think about my mother. I didn't want to think about anything, really; I just wanted to crawl into bed and wait for morning. I gave the old family photo one last glance before I disappeared into my room, locking the door behind me, to prevent anyone from attempting to cheer me up. I changed into a knee-length, white cotton nightdress, brushed my hair, and settled down in the antique wingback chair in the corner with a book.

_They're starting to take over the room,_ I realized as I peeked over the top of the novel in my hand. A volume was shoved into every empty space on the mantle, and a towering stack sat on each bedside table. A few more mounds were forming on top of the dresser, and I had seen Remus tuck a few inside the wardrobe as well.

I turned my gaze back to my book, pouring over the words for several hours before I realized they weren't really registering. My mind kept wandering back to the library; to Remus. I felt lonely, and thinking about how alone he must have felt only made me feel lonelier.

Deciding that the father of the detective story deserved better, I put aside _The Collective Works of Edgar Allen Poe_ and shut off all the lamps, stumbling around in the dark until I found my bed. I lifted up the neatly-made blankets and slipped inside, trying carefully not to mess the sheets up too much.

It was odd, having that large bed all to myself. I felt strangely obligated to remain on "my side" of the bed, even though Remus and I normally gravitated towards the middle. I tossed and turned for quite some time before I realized that I simply wouldn't be able to fall asleep without his arms around me.

"I'm turning into one of those mushy romantic types," I grumbled, blushing as I grabbed his pillow and pulled it close to me. I held the pillow tightly to my chest, curling my body up around it. "I can't believe I let myself get in this deep; I really have changed…"

I buried my face into the pillow, inhaling deeply. If I really concentrated, I could pick up little hints of his scent. I couldn't help but smile a little when the aroma graced my nostrils, _But it's a good change, right? I've never been this happy before in my entire life. And I don't care if Jeff and Sirius and everyone insist on teasing us. I don't even care if other people think we shouldn't be together; because of our age difference or because of his lycanthropy, or for whatever other reasons they can come up with. I love Remus Lupin; he's helped me become a better person._

I felt a new, eccentric determination run through me. I was no longer the least bit tired, and I certainly was not content to lay there and mope while I cuddled and cried into Lupin's pillow all night. I got out of bed, haphazardly straightening the sheets before I lit one of the kerosene lamps. I dug through the stacks of books relentlessly until I found the one I wanted – _The Picture of Dorian Gray_ by Oscar Wilde – and then I set out for the library.

I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but my newfound resolve forced my uncertainties into the back corners of my mind as I struggled to open the secret bookshelf while holding the lamp and the book. I heard Remus rustling about as I opened the door, but once I was inside – with the door closed behind me – I glanced around the room and found it empty.

"Remus?" I called into the darkness. His clothes were folded neatly on the bed, but aside from that, it looked as though the room hadn't been disturbed since I'd left it.

I tiny growl from the far corner of the tiny space told me that I wasn't alone. I gulped, holding out the lamp with my trembling hand.

There he was, though his werewolf form didn't resemble the man I shared a bed with; not in the least. This form was an odd one; not quite wolf, but not quite man, either. His body retained some of its basic human shape, though he was hunched over, suggesting that he walked on all fours. His body was covered with a thin layer of fur – which matched his normal pale brown hair – and his facial features were distinctly canine.

"H-hey," I stammered. "I c-couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd k-keep you company…"

His response was the last thing I expected. His glowing amber eyes – which were the farthest thing from the calm, blue eyes I was used to – glared at me, and a low, mean snarl erupted from his throat as he bared his teeth at me. It was all I can do not to jump back with fright.

I didn't want him to think I was frightened, though I'm sure my quivering hands – as always – gave me away. He always seemed so afraid that someday, I would discover how "dangerous" his condition was, and I would leave him.

I cleared my throat, "Well… I b-b-brought your favorite book, so… Would you l-like it if I read to you?"

He let out a low, threatening bark, which couldn't mean anything other than "_no_". My determination was starting to dwindle, but I was going to hold onto it for as long as I could; I didn't have any other options at that point, anyway. In my mind, I had already crossed the point of no return.

"Alright," I said, somehow managing to only sound a little flustered. "I'm just g-going to sit down in the chair here; you're welcome to come over h-here listen, but you don't have to if you d-don't want to."

It took a good bit of strength to pry my eyes away from him. I wandered over to the rocking chair, sitting the lamp on the nearby table before I opened the book. I tried holding it up to my face, but my hands were quaking so much that I couldn't make out the words. I sat the book down in my lap, leaning down and straining my eyes to make out the words while I read:

"_The artist is the c-creator of beautiful things. To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's aim. The critic is he who can translate into another man-n-ner or a new material his impression of beautiful things_…"

The preface consisted of several short paragraphs like that one, and at the end of each one, I looked up to see if Remus had crept out of his corner. At last, just as I was turning the page, I saw him slink out into the light. Even the dim glow of the kerosene lamp caused him to wince.

My hands were shaking so wildly that the page crinkled and rustled as I tried to turn it. I felt a small ache in my heart when I realized that I had torn it. Remus had been half-right; werewolves were utterly terrifying. Even though I knew who he was, and that he would never hurt me, I couldn't keep myself from trembling.

"Come on," I coaxed, holding out my shaking hand. "Come on…"

He gave in, nuzzling his warm snout against my hand for a few moments before he curled up at my feet, looking up at me eagerly.

I cleared my throat, flashing him a brief smile before I continued, "_The studio was f-f-filled with the rich odor of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the t-trees of the garden, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate p-perfume of the pink-flowering thorn…_"

I don't recall how far we read before I fell asleep, hunched over my book in that old rocking chair. When I awoke, it was morning, and the secret door was opened, filling the little room with light. The book sat in my lap, its pages folded at awkward angles. I cursed under my breath as I fixed them, neatly placing it on the table when I was finished.

"You shouldn't have done that, Violet," Remus said, startling me a bit. When I looked up, I found him sitting on the bed, fully dressed and ostensibly human.

"I didn't mean to," I said, looking at the book with remorse. I slowly got out of my chair, stretching my arms out before I traced the title with the tip of my index finger, "I don't think the pages were bent _that_ badly-"

"I wasn't talking about the book," he said harshly. The venom in his voice was even more frightening than the werewolf I had spent the night reading to. "I'm talking about what you did last night! What were you thinking?! I could have hurt you!"

"But you took your potion-"

"And what if it hadn't worked?" He asked. "What if something went wrong and I wasn't in my human state of mind? What would you have done then?"

I frowned, "I made that potion myself; why does everyone always doubt my-"

"This isn't about doubting your-"

"Stop interrupting me!" I snapped. "I don't understand why you're so angry; I thought you hated being alone during your transformations. I was just trying to help!"

"I told you I didn't want you here!" Remus screamed at me. In an instant, he was on his feet, pacing around the tiny room with his eyes fixed on the floor. "I didn't want you to see me like… _that!_ I knew it would frighten you."

"I w-wasn't frightened," I lied transparently.

"Of course you were frightened; you were shaking like a maniac the entire time," he said flatly.

I looked down at my small, pale hands, _You always give me away…_

"You had every right to be, of course," Remus continued. I worried that he might wear a hole in the floor with all that pacing; he only had to take four or five steps before he had to turn around and retrace his steps.

"W-well, maybe I wouldn't have been so frightened if you hadn't growled at me," I defended, hiding my treacherous hands behind my back.

"If you were so afraid, you should have left," he muttered darkly.

"I didn't want you to think I was afraid," I whimpered, finding myself on the verge of tears.

"But I _knew_ you were afraid," he reminded me. "So why even bother-"

"Because," I sniffled, wiping my eyes. "I… I didn't want you to think you'd scared me away… You know, for good. I know you're afraid that it could happen-"

"It _will_ happen, now," Remus said, sounding completely helpless as he pushed his hair out of his face. "It's inevitable."

A new wave of tears hit me, replacing the ones I had just wiped away. I decided not to waste the effort this time, "Why are you so sure?"

"Because that's always how it happens," he explained solemnly. "With every other woman I've been with; even if she didn't have any prejudices, once she… saw… it was over."

It sounded so ridiculous to me, I couldn't help but laugh a little, "Remus, I've seen you before; it's not like it was something new for me."

He swallowed, "But it wasn't quite the same thing…"

"Look," I sighed, scratching the back of my head. "I'm not going to lie to you; last night, I was utterly terrified of you. But it didn't change how I feel about you."

Remus glanced up at me quickly, but his eyes darted elsewhere swiftly, "How can you possibly still be attracted to me, after seeing what I really am?"

"_This_ is what you really are," I told him, taking a bold step forward. When he didn't recoil, I reached out and touched his arm gently, folding the fabric of his shirt between my fingers.

He turned towards me, gently resting his hand on my hip. A tiny smile crept across my face as I leaned into him, resting my forehead against his chest.

"I didn't get a chance to tell you, before you shoved me out of the room last night," I said softly, clinging to the front of his shirt. "I meant to, though…"

"Tell me what?" he asked. All the kindness had returned to his voice now, and I felt my tremorous hands calming down.

"That I love you," I said, pulling my body tightly against his. I stood on the tips of my toes so I could nuzzle his neck. "No matter what."

Remus let out a light, airy sound, and I couldn't tell if he was sobbing or laughing as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me so firmly that breathing became a struggle. One of his hands cradled my head, and his fingers tangled themselves in my hair, so tightly that it hurt a little. After a few moments, he tilted my head up, planting a soft, gentle kiss on my mouth. There was a sense of neediness to it, as if he wanted to go on – needed to go on – but wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. I touched the tip of my tongue to his dry lips, asking to be let inside. That was all the permission he needed; his mouth opened and I was suddenly swallowed by a wave of passion and tenderness. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders to steady myself; I'm sure I would have melted into him if it were possible.

But we had to come up for air eventually, and Remus seemed just as disappointed as I was when we pulled out of our kiss.

"I want you," I whispered, looking up into his eyes.

"You do?" he asked, as if he didn't believe it.

I reached up and tucked his hair back into place, "That bed was so cold without you in it…"

He smirked, "I think I might be able to fix that."

"So do it," I begged, leaning up to kiss him again.

"Violet," he breathed, stopping me. "There's something I need to ask-"

"Looks like the two of you survived the night," I heard Sirius say from behind me. My whole body went ridged as I heard him laughing.

"We managed, somehow," Remus said. Judging by the lightheartedness in his voice, you never would have guessed that a rather heated argument had occurred only moments before. "I see you've cut your hair."

I turned my head, having to strain my neck to see Sirius. Indeed, his hair was a great deal shorter now; just barely clearing his earlobes.

"Yeah; Ari cut it for me," he said, touching his short locks, as if he were a bit self-conscious of them. "She cut it awful short, but I suppose it will grow back…"

"So you two made up?" I asked hopefully.

He snorted, "Yeah, something like that… At any rate, we're all having breakfast downstairs, if the two of you would like to quit snogging for a few seconds and join us."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea, actually," Remus said, rubbing my arm affectionately. "I'm quite hungry, myself. How about you, Violet?"

My stomach growled at the mention of food. Now that the full moon had passed, I was free to eat as I wished. "Yes, but… Weren't you going to ask me something?"

"Hmm? Oh, that," Remus said, glancing back and forth between Sirius and myself several times, debating in his mind about what his next words would be. Finally he said, "I've forgotten whatever it was; it must not have been important."

"Ohh, I see," said Sirius. "It must either have been something lovey-dovey, or something _extremely_ perverted. But I suppose with you two, those things are one in the same..."

I rolled my eyes, feeling my cheeks warm up slightly as I smiled, "Sirius, shut up."

Remus laughed, kissing the top of my head, "Let's get something to eat."


	63. Chapter 63

"I've told you that I think this is absolutely reckless, haven't I?" Remus asked, his back turned towards Sirius and I as he kept watch. The alleyway was damp and abandoned, except for a few rats who scurried away the moment we appeared. The space was narrow enough that it was impossible for the three of us to stand side-by-side.

"You did mention that," I said, pulling the jar of Polyjuice potion out of my bag while Sirius quickly morphed into his human form.

"But I suppose that isn't going to stop you," he added listlessly.

"Of course not," Sirius scoffed. "Hurry up Violet! I can't wait much longer!"

"Be patient," I said, for perhaps the hundredth time since I'd suggested the plan. "And if you're a good boy, I'll buy you a toy afterwards."

Remus chuckled, but Sirius didn't think the joke was very funny. He rolled his clear, blue-gray eyes at me agitatedly, "You try going thirteen years without magic; _then_ we'll see how patient you are."

"Oh, quit being such a big baby," I said, popping the lid off of the jar. I reached into the pocket of my robe and pulled out a plastic baggy, containing several brown hairs. I had to use my mouth to get the bag open, and when I added the hairs to the potion, the dark, mud-like mixture changed into a brilliant shade of red.

"I think I feel a little bit better about drinking this now," Sirius said, looking a bit relieved.

"If you're going to do it, hurry up," Remus hissed, poking his head back out into the main street. "Someone is going to find us if we poke around here for too long."

"Moony, you worry too much," Sirius said, winking before he took a huge gulp of the potion. His smug expression quickly changed into one of unimaginable pain, and he doubled over and dropped the jar, shattering it.

Watching Sirius transform using Polyjuice Potion was very… weird, for lack of a better word. It isn't a quick, smooth transformation, like when he went back and forth from his Animagus form. Everything changed slowly, and the surface of his skin seemed to bubble as it changed into its new shape. My stomach was turning like a pancake, but I couldn't make myself look away.

If I hadn't known better, I would have been sure that it was Remus Lupin standing in front of me. Until he smiled; that smile was one hundred percent Sirius Black.

"You really are short, huh?" he said, looking quite amazed that his shirt sleeves were now several inches too long for him.

"I'm not short," Remus said flatly.

"Well, you're shorter than me," said Sirius. "And bloody hell! Does your knee always hurt like this?"

I didn't think I'd be able to follow that conversation for too much longer without getting a headache. I unclasped my messenger bag, pulling out one of Remus's tattered tweed suits and tossed it to Sirius, "Put this on; we only have an hour before the potion wears off."

"Right," he nodded, ducking behind a nearby dumpster to change.

"Just out of curiosity, Sirius," Remus said as I leaned against the wall across from him. "What did I taste like? Violet was telling us earlier that Polyjuice Potion tastes different, depending on who you're changing into…"

Sirius laughed hysterically, "You tasted a bit like chocolate."

_He would,_ I thought, grinning at him.

"What are _you_ smiling about?" Remus teased, flashing me a smirk of his own.

"Nothing," I giggled bashfully.

"You will be careful, won't you?" he asked me. He was still smiling, but I could see that flicker of worry behind his eyes.

"Of course," I assured him, reaching out to grab his hand.

"You don't need to worry about a thing, mate," Sirius said, stepping out from behind the dumpster and draping his arm across my shoulder. "I'll take good care of your favorite student."

"Can we _please_ let that go?" I groaned, burying my face in my hands. "You and Jeff really weren't supposed to see that…"

"You two need to get going," Remus said, donning a scrappy fedora and tugging on an equally tattered cloak, in an attempt to conceal his identity. He offered Sirius his cane, "Take this."

Sirius waved him off, "I'll be fine."

"Suit yourself," Remus shrugged.

"We'll be as quick as we can," I assured him, giving him a quick beck on the cheek before I followed Sirius out of the cramped alleyway.

Diagon Alley was busy, though the crowd was nothing compared to what it would be during the last week or two of August, when Hogwarts students would flood the tiny street in search of school supplies. That was one thing I was _not_ going to miss about my school days.

"Hold my hand," I whispered to Sirius.

He looked at me quizzically, "Why? Are you scared or something?"

I ignored his comment, "We're supposed to be a couple. You're pretending to be Remus, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah…" he grumbled, reluctantly grabbing onto my hand. Even if I wasn't aware that it was Sirius, I would have known right away that this wasn't Lupin. His grip was too tight. When Remus held my hand, his clasp was always so gentle that I could easily slip away if I wanted to, and he would always rub my hand with the pad of his thumb.

"You look disappointed," Sirius said, sounding quite intrigued. "What's the matter, _my dear_?"

"You're just… not him," I sighed.

He chuckled, "I look like him, I sound like him-"

"But it's not the same," I sighed again. "You just… don't feel right. I mean, you _look _right, but you're… different."

"Well, you could at least _pretend_ to be infatuated with me; we're _supposed_ to be a couple," Sirius said, mocking my tone.

"Shut up," I said, giving him a playful shove.

"Professor Lupin!" someone called from behind us. "Oh, Professor Lupin!"

_Merlin's pants…_ I thought, stopping suddenly. Sirius tried to keep walking, but I held onto his hand firmly and pulled him back. He stumbled as he turned around, wincing in pain when he put too much pressure on Remus's bad knee.

We were approached by two of my fellow Ravenclaws; Marietta Edgecombe and Cho Chang. Both girls were a few years younger than me, and the pair had been entirely inseparable for as long as I had known them. They must have remembered the several occasions I had written them up for noise violations during their late-night chats, because when they noticed me, the grins on their faces faded quickly.

_I should be used to it by now,_ I thought, though my spirits fell all the same. I wished that it really was Remus standing next to me; I always felt a little safer with him around.

Sirius smiled at them – a smile that was too eccentric to belong on Professor Lupin's calm face – and said, "Why, if it isn't…"

"Chang and Edgecombe," I coughed into my hand.

"Miss Chang and Miss Edgecombe," Sirius finished, so nonchalant that it was almost as if he had pulled it off on his own. "How nice to see you again!"

"It's nice to see you too, Professor," Cho said pleasantly.

"And you too, Violet," Marietta added, staring at her shoes as if she were afraid she would turn to stone if we made eye contact. "Cho and I were both really upset when we found out that you won't be coming back for the next term, Professor."

"Yes," Cho agreed. "We're really going to miss you. You were one of the best teachers we've ever had."

"Aww, girls," Sirius said endearingly. Even though the compliments weren't for him, they were fodder for his ego all the same. "I'm going to miss you, too."

"So the rumors are true," Marietta said bluntly. "You two really are together. My cousin said he saw you kissing on the platform, but I didn't believe it."

I laughed nervously, "Um… yes… Well, we'd really better be going, hadn't we? We only have _so much time_."

"Oh, yes," Sirius said, eagerly shoving me further down the sidewalk. "It was lovely chatting with you, ladies. We'll have to do this again real soon."

I heard Cho and Marietta mumble their goodbyes as we disappeared into the small crowd. I looked over my shoulder to make sure they weren't trailing us; I sighed with relief when I found that they weren't.

"That was close," Sirius said, stepping off to the side to rub his knee. "Bloody _hell_ that hurts…"

"We're lucky they bought it," I said. "You didn't act like Remus at all, and that's half the reason we're using his hairs to begin with; because you said yourself that since you've known him for ages, you'd be able to imitate him the best."

"Well, why don't you just announce our entire plan to the whole damned street," he barked at me.

I groaned, running my hands through my hair. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, opening them again once I'd calmed down a little.

My gaze instantly landed on the display in front of Flourish and Blotts. The shop was across the street from where we were standing, but even from that distance I could tell that it had changed from my last visit to Diagon Alley. It was so tempting to run across the road and go inside, just for a few seconds...

"Hey, Vi," Sirius said, waving his hand in front of my eyes. "What's gotten into you?"

I shook my head, forcing myself out of the trance, "Sorry… I was just… books."

Sirius glanced across the street, snickering when he realized what I was talking about, "You're such a nerd…"

"Come on," I said, grabbing onto his sleeve and dragging him into the wand shop.

I always wondered if Ollivander's Wand Shop was actually a huge building; it was just that the hundreds and hundreds of long, thin boxes which lined the walls that made it appear cramped. The bell hanging above the door chimed as we entered, and Mr. Ollivander himself appeared just as the door clicked shut.

"Violet Carroll!" he greeted, scurrying over as quickly as he could in order to shake my hands. Mr. Ollivander was a very old man, with a crazy mass of white hair and playful gray eyes.

"It's nice to see you again, Mr. Ollivander," I said, smiling at him.

"It's nice to see you, as well," he said. "How's your uncle? Is he well? I haven't seen him since he helped me sort out that awful misunderstanding with Gringotts… What was that, a year ago?"

I thought about it for a moment, "I think it might be getting closer to two, actually."

He gasped, "Two years? My, how time flies!"

Sirius cleared his throat, begging to be noticed, "Yes, it certainly does."

Ollivander looked up at him as if he hadn't noticed he was standing there at all, "Why, Remus Lupin! What a… pair…" he trailed off, his eyes flickering down to our hands, which were still clasped together. He looked back up at us, laughing airily with wonder, "W-wait… The two of you - a pair?"

"Yup," Sirius said, not sounding very excited about it.

"That's… Oh my…" the aged wand maker stammered. He didn't seem upset by it at all; in fact, his smile never left his face for a second. "This… this is good, right? I mean, I never would have guessed… But… Yes, I think this is good!"

_I'm glad someone finally thinks so,_ I thought, wishing once again that the real Remus was standing next to me, so he could hear it for himself.

Mr. Ollivander cleared his throat, "I suppose it's none of my business... At any rate; what can I do for you today?"

"I'm in need of a new wand," Sirius said, almost too eagerly.

"A new wand?" Ollivander repeated, his jubilation fading just a bit. "What happened to your old one?"

"It… broke," Sirius said vaguely. It was a struggle to keep myself from smacking my forehead.

"Broke how?" Ollivander asked. "Let me take a look at it. I might be able to fix it."

"I don't think that would be possible," said Sirius. "It's currently in three pieces… and at home."

"That's a shame," Mr. Ollivander sighed, as if we had just told him about the death of an old friend. "It was a good wand; thirteen and a half inches, oak, dragon heartstring core, very sturdy, excellent for dueling; though it's never been in your nature to be very aggressive…"

Mr. Ollivander looked up at me, "Now Violet, if I remember correctly, yours was made of mahogany, yes?"

I nodded, "That's right."

"Eleven inches long, with a unicorn hair core," he went on. Mr. Ollivander could remember every wand he'd ever sold – considering how old he was, the number was probably over two or three thousand – and he always got a childish twinkle in his eyes when he talked about it. He was very proud of his memory. "I remember, when I made it, I carved some runes into the handle, for charm work. When I close my eyes, I can still picture you, eleven years old, eyeing those marks with bewilderment-"

Sirius cleared his throat, "Not that this isn't a wonderful story, Mr. Ollivander, but could we please get on with this? We're sort of pressed for time."

_He has a point,_ I realized, feeing my face turn as white as Mr. Ollivander's hair. _The Polyjuice Potion only lasts for an hour, and we've already used up at least ten or fifteen minutes… And I've heard of people taking over an hour to find a wand that suits them…_

_Drat,_ I thought, biting down on my lower lip. _No matter how hard I try, I always seem to overlook something._

Thankfully, Ollivander didn't seem to notice that Sirius had spoken out of character. He simply smiled and said, "Of course. I'm sorry, please forgive me for rambling."

"Oh, you're fine," I replied quickly.

"Well, let's get started," he said, rubbing his wrinkled hands together as he wandered over to one of the many stacks of wand boxes. The shop seemed to be in a constant state of chaos, but the owner always seemed to know exactly where to look for whichever wand it was he wanted to find. After looking for just a second, he slipped one box out, somehow managing to keep all the wands on top of it from collapsing.

He took the lid off of the box, offering it to Sirius, "Try this one, Mr. Lupin."

Sirius pulled the wand out of the box, eyeing it for a few moments as if it were the most amazing thing he had ever seen. I'm not sure what kind of wood it was, but it was light in color, and seemed a little stubby. Sirius waved the wand in the air wordlessly, and a loud crashing sound emitted from the back of the store.

"That's not it," Ollivander sighed, practically having to pry the wand out of Sirius's hand. "But no matter; we'll just have to try again."

"Wonderful," Sirius said, losing his patients.

"Relax, _my love_," I said, gently stroking his arm. I felt awkward doing so, and judging by the look on his face, it was strange for him, as well. "Mr. Ollivander knows what he's doing."

"Let's give this one a go," he said, handing Sirius another wand. This one proved to be yet another failure; when Sirius waved it, one of the windows cracked in a spider web fashion.

"Nope," Mr. Ollivander said, snatching the second wand back. He started boxing it back up, but then he paused, as if he had just been struck with an idea.

"What is it?" I asked, when he didn't move for several seconds.

"I… no… but…" he mumbled to himself as he went back to boxing up the wand. "Oh, but it never hurts to try, I suppose. You two wait right here; I'll be back in just a moment."

"I wonder what all that was about," I whispered as we watched Ollivander disappear into the back of his store.

Sirius shrugged, "He's a loon, I'm telling you. He's a genius, but he's completely bonkers. Always has been."

"Shhhh; he'll hear you," I said quietly.

Ollivander returned shortly, bringing with him another wand box. There seemed to be nothing too spectacular about it, and when he lifted the lid, the wand inside appeared normal, as well. It was made out of a dark, almost-black colored wood, and the pattern carved into the handle looked oriental.

"This one has a particularly… _interesting_ combination of parts to it," said Mr. Ollivander. "Go on, Mr. Lupin; give it a wave."

"Alright," Sirius said, looking a little nervous as he lifted the wand out of the box. A few sparks slipped out of the tip before he'd even flicked the wand; when he did, it was like he was waving a sparkler.

The sparks in his eyes didn't leave once the wand stopped producing them. He smiled warmly at his new wand; the way a father might smile at a newborn child.

"Huh, how about that," Mr. Ollivander said absently as he wandered over to the cash register.

"How about _what_?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, it's nothing," Mr. Ollivander said. "That'll be seven Galleons."

"I'm paying," I told him, pulling my coin purse out of my larger messenger bag. Once I removed the gold coins and handed them over to Ollivander, it was almost empty.

_We're going to go broke, if we don't watch it,_ I thought, solemnly slipping the coin purse back into its place.

"No, you're not getting off that easy," Sirius said, leaning across the counter, in a clear violation of the other man's personal space. "Why are you acting so suspicious?"

"_Remus_," I growled, my frustration with him growing to new heights. "You shouldn't be so rude; it's defiantly _out of character_ for you."

"I d-don't mean to upset you, Mr. Lupin," Ollivander said, looking mildly terrified. "It's just… I happened to notice that the properties of that wand happen to be very similar to… The one owned by your old friend; Sirius Black. Same wood, and the unicorn hair in the core came from the same beast."

"Oh," he gulped. "You don't say…"

_Why don't you just come out and tell him, _you're_ Sirius,_ I thought bitterly.

"Yes," Ollivander said grimly. "I've been trying to sell that thing for years. I believe it has something to do with the Chinese-charms I carved onto the side; they can be quite powerful, if the wand is in the right hands, but it makes the wand highly incompatible."

"Well… I'll take good care of it," Sirius said, slipping the wand into his belt loop. "Come along, Violet; we're running short on time, I think."

"Oh, right!" I said, mentally breading myself for not bringing a watch to keep track of the hour. "Goodbye, Mr. Ollivander; it was nice seeing you again."

"You too, dear," he said, giving us a little wave as Sirius pulled me from the store. "And make sure you give your uncle my regards!"

"I will!" I called, waving at him through the window as Sirius and I made our way down the street.

"Ha!" Sirius smirked triumphantly, holding his new wand into the air. "That went over rather well, don't you think? Ah, I can't wait to test this thing out-"

"I think you're an awful actor," I said honestly. "And you can't control your temper to save your life."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Details, details…"

"Details that could land you back in Azkaban if you're not careful," I whispered.

"You worry too much, Violet," he said, ruffling my hair roughly. "Besides, this was _your_ brilliant plan, how could it possibly have gone wrong?"

"Several things went wrong," I reminded him. "We just got very lucky in that nothing went _too_ wrong."

"Oh look, here's Pessimism Alley," Sirius said, pointing straight ahead. "Isn't that where we left him?"

"No; I think it was called…" I trailed off, realizing that he was making fun of me. My cheeks burned with embarrassment.

Sirius laughed, messing up my hair again as we both ducked down the deserted street where we'd left Remus. He was still sitting behind the dumpster, so absorbed in his book that he didn't notice when we approached him.

I crouched down in front of him, unable to keep myself from grinning, "Hey."

Remus jumped a little at the sound of my voice, but when he saw me, his alarmed expression changed to a warm, happy one. He sat his book aside and reached up to touch the side of my face, "How did it go?"

In one swift movement, I grabbed onto his lapels and pulled myself forward and crashing my lips against his. I think Remus was almost as shocked at my boldness as I was; it was a few moments before he returned the gesture, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck to pull me closer. When Sirius insisted on wolf-whistling at us, Remus took of his hat and held it over the sides of our faces, to shield us from view while we continued to kiss.

_I can't believe I just did that,_ I thought, slowly pulling out of the kiss. "Heh, sorry…"

"What was that all about?" Remus asked, sounding a little intoxicated. "Not that it wasn't fantastic, mind you…"

"I just… missed you, I guess," I said, leaning forward to rest my forehead against his shoulder. "Spending time with Sirius made me notice all these little things that I didn't pay much attention to before."

"Is that so?" he said, sounding a bit smug as he straightened my messy hair.

I nodded, "You're irreplaceable."

"You should have seen the way she scolded me, mate," Sirius said. I was a little surprised when I heard _his_ voice, instead of Remus's. "It seems she's quite taken with _you_, for some reason."

Remus chuckled, putting his hat back on before he looked up at his friend, "Yes; it's quite a nice… change…"

I lifted my head, surprised to see that Remus was staring at his friend with wide, frightened eyes, and that all the color had drained from his face. I gulped, slowly turning my head to examine Sirius for myself.

He had transformed back into himself, just as his voice had indicated. The tweed suit we had given him to wear was several sizes too small, and it appeared as though it would burst at the seams at any second.

It took me a few seconds to notice what it was that had shocked Remus so much, but when I did, I felt my stomach turning inside-out; Sirius had retained some of Remus's features. His flawless black hair was now speckled with gray, and his aristocratically chiseled nose was replaced with Remus's – which looked wonderful on its owner's face, but looked bulbous and odd when matched with the slender features of Sirius's face. Sirius had been aged by his stay in Azkaban, but now he seemed to bear the stress of thirty years of lycanthropy as well; he even wore some of Remus's more prominent scars.

_You're not supposed to use Polyjuice potion to change into something non-human,_ I thought, feeling my hands begin to tremble. _Oh shit…_

"What?" Sirius asked, unfazed. "What's wrong with the two of you?"

_Don't say anything, or he'll throw a fit,_ my mind whispered. _If we can somehow get Sirius home without him finding out-_

"You've changed back," Remus answered quickly, as if he could read my thoughts. "That suit's too small for you now."

Sirius looked down at himself, laughing as he examined how short his sleeves had suddenly become, "I do look kind of bizarre, don't I?"

"Yes," I said truthfully. "You really do."

"Go on and transform back into a dog, Padfoot," Remus urged.

"Shouldn't I put on my own clothes before-"

"Is that really necessary?" I asked, so quickly that it all sounded like one word.

"Uh… I suppose not…" Sirius said, eyeing me curiously before handing Remus his newly-purchased wand. "Watch this for me, won't you, Moony?"

"I'll guard it with my life, Padfoot," Remus said, sounding quite noble as he stuffed the wand inside his jacket.

It was a relief to see Sirius in his Animagus form again; at least it was something I was used to. He barked at us excitedly, jumping up and down a few times before he trotted out into the main street. Remus and I exchanged a brief glance before he took my hand. The two of us followed after Sirius, having to walk rather briskly to keep up with him; Remus had to use his cane for added support.

_At least it's over,_ I thought to myself, sighing with relief. _Now we just need to go home and deal with Sirius's-_

"Violet Carroll!" I heard one of my least favorite voices shout, and I quickly resolved to ignore it and keep walking. I might have gotten away with it, if he hadn't called out again, "And Remus Lupin! Why, it's my lucky day!"

"Mundungus Fletcher," Remus said, sounding about as thrilled as I was. "What a pleasant surprise."

Mundungus Fletcher was shorter than me by several centimeters, and his clothes were even shabbier than Lupin's. His long, ginger hair was covered with an unsightly bowler hat, and as always, his eyes were bloodshot and baggy. For a brief period of time, he had worked with Uncle Jack in one of the many unsuccessful businesses he attempted to start. Even after their failure – which my uncle swore was all Mr. Fletcher's fault – the two remained good friends. I had never been a huge fan of Mundungus; he smelled strongly of tobacco and stale alcohol, and when I was a child he would give me fake gold coins. Ms. McGuff and I also suspected him of stealing some of our silver spoons, but we were never able to prove it.

_Maybe this is why Remus never seemed overly-shabby to me,_ I thought absently. _Because I grew up around this guy._

"A pleasant surprise indeed," he said, smiling broadly at us. "I thought I saw the two of you wandering around here earlier… But I could have sworn on my mother's grave that you were wearing a brown suit, Lupin."

I looked over at his tattered gray cardigan and matching pants, swallowing, _Shit. I really should have put more thought into this._

"Um… How do you know Remus, Mr. Fletcher?" I asked hesitantly. I knew that if we got him talking, we'd be stuck in Diagon Alley for ages, yet I was curious… And in need of a good subject change.

He laughed, having to reach up to pat Remus on the shoulder, "Lupin and I fought in the war together – isn't that right?"

"I don't remember you doing much fighting, Mundungus," Remus said; I couldn't tell if he was legitimately joking with the stout thief, or if he was being sarcastic.

Mundungus seemed to assume it was the latter, because his voice was glittered with resentment when he added, "Ol' Lupin also stayed with me for a while, about six years back or so. I found him living on the streets, you see, so I took him in, helped him get back on his feet and all that shit."

_Living on the streets?_ I thought, feeling my heart grow a bit heavy at the thought. _How'd that happen? Poor Remus…_

"And I'll always be grateful for that," Remus said, squeezing my hand gently.

I let out a yelp when I felt something furry rub yup against my leg; when I looked down, I saw that Sirius had rejoined us.

"Is this your dog?" Mundungus asked, looking a bit frightened.

"Yes, he's ours," I said, scratching Sirius behind the ears.

"There's no need to be alarmed," Remus said, whimsically amused at the other man's fright. "He's harmless."

Mundungus smiled a little, reaching down to pet Sirius, "What's this mutt's name?"

"Si-…" I gulped, scrambling to come up with something. "… Snuffles."

Sirius looked up at me, letting out a tiny growl that was barely audible over the sound of Mundungus laughing hysterically. Remus laughed a bit himself, though he tried to hide it by covering his mouth with his hand.

"Yes, Snuffles," I said, relishing in my tiny revenge for all the grief Sirius had caused me that day. "That's his name. I think it suits him rather well."

"If you don't mind me asking," Remus said, still chuckling. "How do the two of you know each other?"

"Mr. Fletcher used to be Uncle Jack's business partner," I explained.

"I still deal with him, from time to time," Mundungus reminded me – as if I could ever forget _him_. "Jack Carroll's the best damned businessman in the world; I'd be willing to bet my life on it. If I could spot a good investment the way he can, I'd be as rich as-"

He paused, as if he'd suddenly realized something very important. He looked at me, and then at Remus, and then at me again, before clearing his throat – what an awful sound that was – "Hold on just one bloody second! How do the two of _you_ know each other?" He gasped, pointing at Remus and answering his own question before either of us got a chance to, "Is _he_ the gentleman Jack wrote me about? The one you brought home, that you're just _crazy_ about?"

"Eerm… Yes, he is," I said, taking a small, almost involuntary step towards Remus. I was growing to loath telling people about us; you could never predict what their reaction would be.

"Well, I'll be a troll's uncle," Mundungus said, looking at us with pure amazement. "Never, in a million years would I… Fucking hell… Congratulations!"

"Thank you," Remus said, genuinely pleased with any sort of approval as he wrapped his arm around my waist.

_I wish you could have seen how happy Mr. Ollivander was,_ I thought, leaning into his body. _I can't wait to tell you about it, Remus._

"Well, I'd best be on my way," Mundungus shrugged. "I've got some business to take care of, and I'm sure the two of you have other things you'd rather be doing. Oh, and Violet; do tell your uncle that I'll be stopping by to see him soon. I feel like we haven't spoken in _ages_; and of course, I'd love to hear about how this, er… budding romance came to be."

I gritted my teeth, "Of course, Mr. Fletcher."

"Violet and Lupin…" he mumbled, shaking his head as he left us, quickly becoming just another blur in the crowd.

Remus let out a long, heavy sigh, "He's something else, isn't he? I'm never sure if I love him or hate him…"

"Let's get going," I whispered, tugging Remus in the opposite direction. Sirius – er… Snuffles – followed at our heels. "Before we run into someone else we know."


	64. Chapter 64

"If you don't want your nose to come out crooked, you'd better stop moving," Penelope said, trying to sound stern, though her voice was shaking with nervousness, reminding me of how I felt when I first met Sirius. He was stretched out across the sofa, with his head pillowed on one armrest, and his dirty feet propped up on the other. Penelope's skills in Transfiguration were far greater than mine, and she had helpfully volunteered to help us return Sirius's face to its original shape. Lutie stood next to her, holding up his photograph – one from the newspaper.

"But that _hurts_," he said, glaring up at her.

"Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much if you'd stop moving," Penelope said diplomatically. She looked petrified, as if she thought Sirius would hex her if she said something that rubbed him the wrong way. "And it's going to hurt a lot more once I start working on the nose; I'm still trying to wipe away the scars right now."

"I really am sorry, Sirius," I said, putting the lid on my cauldron. "I can't believe I didn't… Think of that."

The potion I was working on was supposed to make Penelope's changes to Sirius's face permanent. It was a relatively simple potion to brew, but I wasn't feeling very confidant; I had read over the ingredients half a dozen times before I started.

"It's alright, Violet," Remus said, looking as morose as ever as he turned the page of his book. "No one wants to think of their lover as something less than human."

"Remus…" I sighed, crossing the room to sit next to him. "Don't-"

"Well, it's the truth," he said, turning the page again, just to have something to do with his hands. "If you thought of me that way, we wouldn't be together."

"There's no reason for me to think of you like that," I said, running my hand through his hair. "You're every bit as human as everyone else in this room."

"How much longer am I going to have to hold this damn thing up?" Lutie griped, putting a momentary stop to our debate. I was thankful for that; I felt so guilty about the whole mess.

"I'm sorry," Penelope said, offering Lutie a kind smile. "We can take a break if your arms are getting tired."

"No one's taking a break until my face is back to normal!" Sirius roared.

"_Shut up!"_ Aria yelled at us from her shop downstairs. "_You're frightening my customers!_"

"Sorry!" we all called back.

"Why are we all yelling?!" Jeff bellowed, grinning broadly as he entered the living room. "Nice face, Siri-"

"_I told you to shut up!_" Aria screamed, sounding utterly furious. In my mind, I could picture her face turning purple, the way it did on the rare occasion when she was _really_ angry. "_If you don't, I swear I'll come up there and jinx every last one of you!_"

Sirius laughed, "Feisty little minx, isn't she?"

"She must have had a huge dose of Lutie this morning," Jeff sighed.

"Um, I'm standing right over here," Lutie said, glaring daggers at the transvestite.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Little Lutie," he said, bowing to her, his expression gleeful and remorseless. "I didn't see you."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, whatever. Look, how much longer am I going to have to hold this thing up? My arms are falling asleep, and I have other things that I would rather be doing."

"It's going to take quite some time, I'm afraid," Penelope sighed. "I think we should take a break, Lutie; but could you be back soon?"

"Of course," she said, in a tone that suggested that she probably wouldn't as she stomped off to the kitchen.

"Actually, Mr. Black is quite lucky," Penelope told us. "Normally, when someone has an accident with Polyjuice Potion, they accidently use _animal_ hair. It's a bit easier to alter human features…"

"But it's supposed to be incredibly painful, isn't it?" asked Remus.

Penelope hesitated, then nodded, "Yes, it is. There are tonics that help, but again, you have to have a lisence to purchase them, and… well, needless to say, we're not exactly in the position to bring in a professional."

"But you will be able to do it, right?" Sirius asked, as if the thought of immense, maddening pain didn't bother him at all. But I suppose, compared to Azkaban, this didn't seem like such a big deal.

"I _think_ so," said Penelope. "The magic is really advanced; normally, a professional would have to do it… But, a year or so ago, some girl came into the hospital wing who had somehow ingested Polyjuice Potion with cat hair in it. Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall let me help them work with her, and they said I did a really good job; her case was a bit more complicated, too."

"The potion that makes the change permanent is supposed to mess up your appetite, too," I added. The lid on the cauldron rattled, as if the potion somehow knew I was talking about it. "Or at least, that's what I read."

"This is why Polyjuice Potion isn't widely used," said Penelope. "It's a huge pain to change a person's appearance back to normal if something does go wrong. But I suppose you're lucky, Mr. Black; a lot of magical changes aren't reversible."

"We'll just have to be more careful next time," he shrugged.

I blinked, "Next time what?"

"Next time I use the potion," said Sirius. "I guess I'll have to use Jeff's hair, or even Jack's; parading around as one of you ladies might be a little-"

"There isn't going to be a next time, Sirius," I said.

"Why not?" he questioned, look at me as though I had betrayed him somehow.

"Because we can't afford it!" I said, momentarily losing my temper. Remus gave my hand a brief squeeze, and I felt myself calming down a little. "Sirius, Polyjuice Potion is expensive to make; a lot of the ingredients aren't exactly commonplace. And your new wand cost seven Galleons, and then there's this potion-"

"Alright!" he snapped. "Alright, I get it!"

I gulped, my gaze drifting to the dingy, carpeted floor with guilt. It was a huge blow to his pride, having to live with us, and normally I was careful not to say things that made him feel like a freeloader.

"Penny, is there anything else I can do to help?" I asked.

"I can't really think of anything…" she said, the sudden tension making her nervous. But after a few seconds, her eyes lit up, "Oh! Now that I think about it, do you think you could go to the store and get us some black hair dye? His hair should grown in normally, but I think just dying these grays would be the best way to fix them, don't you?"

_Getting me out of the house will give Sirius some time to cool down,_ I thought, nodding, "Alright, I can do that; let me run upstairs and grab my purse and some muggle clothes."

When I arrived in my old room, I found Lutie sitting on her bed, pouring over her latest book. She looked up when she saw me, but her eyes quickly darted back to her story.

"I know, I know," she said, before I got a chance to tell her off. "I really am planning on going back down there, Violet; you don't need to get on me about it. I just wanted to finish this chapter."

I smiled, slipping off my robe, "What's got you so hooked?"

"It's called _Pillars of the Earth,_" she said. "Have you read it yet?"

"Can't say that I have," I said, selecting a navy-colored cardigan to replace my outer robe. I examined myself in the mirror to make sure that it matched my flower-printed skirt.

"You should, when I'm done with it," said Lutie. "It's bloody fantastic… Hey, Violet?"

I looked up from my reflection, deciding that the outfit might not get the Jeff Flanders stamp of approval, but that it would be fine for a quick run to the store. "Hmmm?"

"Are you ever going to move all of your shit out of here?" she asked, looking up from her book, expecting an answer.

"Why?" I asked. "Do you want me to?"

"I really don't care what you do," she said lethargically. "But I think if you're going to share a room with the wolf-man, it should be an all-or-nothing sort of thing."

I sighed, "I… I guess I didn't really think about it…"

A thought suddenly struck my mind; one of those thoughts that hits your brain like lightening, and when it does, you hit yourself for not realizing that a storm was coming. I felt the contents of my stomach sloshing around, and my whole body suddenly went cold.

"It doesn't exactly send a very good message to him, either," Lutie continued, though I was only half-listening to her now. "Not that I know much about these sorts of things, but to me, that says, _yeah, I'll fuck you, but I'm not ready to really commit. _Besides, I could use a little extra closet space for my own books-"

"Y-you're right, Lutie," I said, feeling as though I were on autopilot; my mind was racing so quickly that it didn't possibly have enough time to process whatever it was she was saying. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched my arm reach out and grab my bag, "I'll take care of it when I get back from the store. Do you need anything?"

"No…" Lutie said, looking at me strangely. "Are you alright, Violet? You sound a little… funny."

I shook my head, snapping myself back to reality long enough to tell her, "I'm fine; I'll see you later."

"Bye…" she said, not looking convinced as I slipped out of the room. I took each step one at a time, wanting to prolong my journey to the living room as much as possible.

_This probably isn't anything,_ my inner voice said as I entered the living room. Everyone looked up, greeting me silently with their eyes. _No need to worry everyone. But still…_

"Hey, Jeff," I said, tapping him on the shoulder. "Do you think you could come with me?"

"Why?" he asked, wrinkling his nose.

"I'll go with you," Remus offered. "If you don't want to go by yourself."

"No," I said quickly, regretting it when I saw the gloomy expression on his face. "It's just… well, I… This is more of a… a motherly sort of thing-"

"Say no more, Vi-Vi," Jeff said, springing up from his seat with a new-found enthusiasm. "As your mother, I will gladly accompany you to the store! Farewell, friends!"

I didn't get the chance to say a proper goodbye, as Jeff swiftly pulled me from the room. One last glance at Lupin's face told me that he was still a little confused.

_Understandably so,_ I thought as I forced my way into the old, rusty car. _We've been nearly inseparable for the past two months. But I can't bring him along for this..._

The short ride to the store was a relatively uneventful one. Jeff was content to play with the car radio (_muggles come up with some of the coolest things…_), and my mind continued to wander so far away that I almost drove right past the grocery store.

_I can't believe this,_ I thought, pulling into a parking place. The small town – whose population was roughly half-muggle, half-wizard – only had one grocery store, and it was rarely crowded. Jeff and I were even able to get a spot only a few feet away from the front door. We heard thunder rumbling somewhere off in the distance as we forced the car door closed.

"So that _was_ thunder I heard," Jeff said absently. "I thought it was just the engine-"

"My period's late," I blurted out, realizing only after I'd spoken that I had been a little louder than I intended. A middle-aged man walking out of the building stared at us, and I felt my face flushing.

Jeff stared too, his jaw nearly hitting the pavement, "Hibbity what?"

"My period is late," I said, quietly this time.

He gulped, "How late?"

"I don't know…" I said desperately. "A month… maybe two-"

"Bloody hell…" Jeff mumbled, leaning back against the car.

"But it could just be stress," I said. "… Right?"

"Have you been using contraception?" he asked, serious for perhaps the first time in his life.

My blush deepened, "I don't think so…"

"You don't think so?"

"Alright, I haven't," I admitted, feeling the corners of my eyes start to fill with tears. "Jeff, what am I going to do?"

He sighed, slinging his bony arm across my shoulder and pulling me into a hug. I buried my face in his chest, but Jeff was so skinny that the embrace wasn't very comfortable. We just didn't… _fit_ together, the way Remus and I did.

"It'll be alright," Jeff said, rubbing my back as I sobbed into the front of his shirt. "Don't cry; you'll smudge your makeup…"

To my surprise, I actually laughed a little, "But what if I am…"

"Pregnant?" Jeff finished for me.

"Yes," I whimpered.

Jeff shrugged, "Well… Don't muggles have home tests for… these things; those weird sticks that you pee on or whatever?"

I nodded, "Yes, they do. That's why I wanted you to come with me. I just… I couldn't do this by myself, and I don't want to tell Remus unless I'm _absolutely sure_."

"Yeah, no need to give Lu-Lu more gray hairs unnecessarily," Jeff said.

I pulled away from him, grinning a little as I wiped my eyes, "I like his hair…"

"Of course you do," said Jeff. "You are madly in love with him, after all. He could go completely bald and you'd still be all over him."

"You're probably right," I said, feeling my tears evaporate for the time being.

"And I'm sure he'd love you if you were bald, as well," Jeff continued, taking my arm and leading me inside the store.

_I'm not so sure about that,_ I thought, touching my short auburn locks as Jeff drug me through the small maze aisles. _He loves playing with my hair..._

"Where might we find the pregnancy tests, Vi-Vi?" Jeff asked me.

"Why don't you just announce it to the entire store while you're at it," I grumbled.

He smirked, "There is nothing I would like more than to spread the news that I, Jeffery Flanders, will soon be a grandmother. But somehow, I think you should tell Lu-Lu before we yell it from the mountain tops – er, the checkout counter."

"I think I should probably take the test before we yell anything to anyone," I said, pointing him in the right direction. "Remus included."

The pregnancy tests were easy to find, and ironically located next to the various forms of muggle birth control. I read the back of each box carefully, trying to determine which one was the best option. Meanwhile, Jeff was having the time of his life looking over the various types of condoms.

"Hey Vi, check this out," Jeff said, holding a colorful box up to my face. I turned my now-red face in the other direction, trying to ignore him. "They have a variety pack."

"That's wonderful, Jeff," I mumbled.

He snickered, replacing the box on the shelf, "I'm sure you and Lu-Lu would like some of these."

"Maybe you should be more concerned about what Penelope would like," I said, having a hard time focusing on the pregnancy tests while Jeff was teasing me.

"There's really no reason to," he sighed. "We're not doing anything; she's as pure as the day she was yanked from her mother's womb."

I snorted, "You hang all over each other all the time, you can't expect me to believe-"

"Believe it," Jeff said, sounding quite unhappy about it. "Penelope wants to… _wait_."

"Wait for what?" I asked, squinting to read the small text on one of the boxes: _For One Use __ONLY_.

"Marriage," he said, sounding miserable.

"She's a smart girl, that Penelope Clearwater," I said, finally selecting the brand I wanted. "You can't get knocked up if you don't have sex."

"Grab me one of those, too," Jeff said, nodding at the shelf. "I'll pay you back later."

I reached out to grab one, hesitating to ask the question I knew I probably wouldn't like the answer to, "What do you want with a home pregnancy test?"

"You don't think I'm going to let you do this alone, do you?" he replied, smiling warmly.

"Jeff, that's… one of the stupidest things I've ever heard," I said, finding myself smiling back all the same. "But thank you."

"What are mothers for," Jeff said, draping his arm across my shoulder. He snagged a box of black hair dye before we made our way to the checkout counter. I recognized the cashier almost right away – he had been in my class at my muggle school, before I went to Hogwarts – and I prayed that he wouldn't remember me as Jeff and I placed our items on the counter.

"Hey Violet," he said, not sounding very happy to see me. "Long time no see."

"Hello… Liam," I said, having to check his nametag. I rarely spoke to any of my old classmates, and if he was the one I was thinking of, he was an idiot.

_I wonder what I'd think of all of them now,_ I thought absently. _I wonder if I'd get along with any of my old, muggle classmates…_

"Looks like you've been having fun," he said, holding up the pregnancy test with a smug grin before tossing it into the bag.

"Why yes, we have been," Jeff said, wrapping his arm around my waist while tossing his dark, curly hair girlishly.

"No!" I said, feeling as though every ounce of blood in my entire body was suddenly rushing to my face. "No no no no! It isn't his-"

"Hey, I'm not one to judge," Liam said, ringing up our total. "It's no skin off my nose."

_I am going to murder you in your sleep, Jeff,_ I thought, handing Liam my debit card with a quivery hand. The card was from Uncle Jack's bank, which specialized in exchanges of muggle and wizard currencies. I had never been more thankful for the convenience as I pulled Jeff out of the store with our items in my other hand.

"Oh, lighten up, Vi-Vi," Jeff giggled as I pushed him into the car.

It started raining while we were on the road; the drops seemed to be apple-sized by the time we reached the house. But because the garage was connected to the house – an addition my maternal grandfather had made when he owned the house – Jeff and I were able to get back into the house without even getting a little damp.

"Welcome back," Moth greeted us.

"Hey," I said, though my words were drowned out by a loud, agonizing scream. The noise bounced around the old walls of the house before it slowly faded away. The sound left my body shaking, mostly with guilt.

"W-was that Sirius?" I stammered, looking up at the ceiling.

The house elf nodded, "Yes; it seems that Mr. Black is in a lot of pain. Miss Clearwater told Moth that it'll take about a week to get him back to normal; she moved him up to his room shortly after the two of you left, so she could start work on his nose."

I gasped, "Oh shit, I left the potion on the-"

"No need to worry, Miss Carroll," Moth said cheerfully. "Moth took care of it."

I sighed with relief, "Thank you, Moth."

Sirius let out another scream, and my heart felt as heavy as a stone. If I had thought the plan through a little more, this wouldn't have happened…

"Come on, Vi-Vi," Jeff said, tugging on my sleeve gently. "Let's go."

"R-right," I said, following him up to the second floor. He dug through the bag and handed me one of the tests before we shuffled into the lavatory.

"So… we just pee on it, right?" He asked, eyeing his own box quizzically.

I shrugged, "Yeah, pretty much."

"You want to go first?" he asked.

"Sure," I said, watching him for a few moments, expecting him to leave the room, or at least turn around. When he didn't, I growled, "Jeffery!"

"Alright," he chuckled, slowly exiting the room. "I'll go use the other loo; meet me in my room once you're finished."

"Okay," I said, shutting the door behind him.

That was the hardest test I had ever taken – N.E.W.T.s included. Despite the fact that, for the past couple of weeks, I felt like my bladder had been reduced to the size of a bean, I couldn't make myself… _go_ on cue. I ended up gulping down about a dozen mouthfuls of water from the sink before I could take the test properly. I was shaking so much, I'm surprised I was actually able to do it on my own.

_I hate when I do that,_ I thought, adjusting my skirt before I left for Jeff's room, pregnancy test in hand. _I feel so helpless, trembling every time I get just a little nervous._

"Ah, there you are," Jeff said as I entered his room. It was obvious that Penelope inhabited the room; her Beatles collectables covered every inch of the room that hadn't already been occupied by Jeff's clothes. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd fallen in."

"I just… got a little nervous," I said, sitting my pregnancy test on the dresser, next to his. Another scream came from Sirius's room as I sat down at the foot of the bed. I tried to ignore the terrible sound; there was nothing I could do about it, and I needed to focus on the task at hand.

"So… How long do we wait?" Jeff asked after several silent moments ticked by, curling up his legs so he could rest his chin on his knees.

"The box said about seven minutes," I said, tracing the pink paisley pattern on the bedspread. Compared to the room I was sharing with Remus, this one was very bright, especially with the addition of Penelope's psychedelic decorations. It almost made my eyes hurt.

"Do you like those blokes?" Jeff asked me, gesturing to one of her posters.

I sighed, "They're alright. Have you ever listened to them?"

"Not before Penny-poo and I got together," said Jeff. "I like their music fine, I guess, but I have a hard time sleeping with Mr. Big-nose over there watching me every night."

"That's Ringo Starr," I said, glancing at the large cardboard cutout. "He's… defiantly an interesting fellow."

"More interesting than me?" Jeff asked, looking at me with big, puppy dog eyes.

"No," I said, running my hand through my hair. "I don't think anyone's as interesting as you."

"Good," Jeff said, very satisfied with my answer. "I must confess; I have been secretly worried that my beloved princess might run off with this… Ringo fellow. Thank you, Vi-Vi, for easing my fears."

I let out one, dry laugh, "No problem."

"Wanna check?" Jeff asked. "On the tests, I man."

I gulped, "Can you do it? I d-don't think I can…"

"Of course," Jeff said, giving me a quick hug before he hopped off of the bed and over to the dresser.

"Thank you so much, Jeff," I said, trying to swallow the lump in my throat that had been forming while we waited. "I really appreciate-"

"Oh dear…" Jeff said, scratching his chin as he examined the two white strips. "This is perplexing."

"W-what?" I stuttered, grabbing onto the bed sheets to steady my hands.

"Well, there's some good news, and there's some bad news," Jeff said, spinning around on his heels. My stomach did a flip as he opened his mouth to speak, "The good news is, _you_ are not pregnant."

"Thank goodness," I sighed, feeling the lump in my throat vanish. I held my hand over my heart, happy when it felt a little lighter.

"The bad news is," Jeff continued, smirking a little, "_I_ am."

"Damn you, Jeffery!" I screamed, leaping off of the bed to give him a good beating. He held his arms up over his head while I slapped him repeatedly. "Why the _hell_ would you do something like that to me? You know very well that you can't get pregnant, so why-"

"I was just trying to be funny," he said, laughing wildly while I continued to smack him. "Oh, the look on your face – I'll never forget it!"

I stopped suddenly, my knees giving way as I collapsed onto the floor. I sat there for what felt like eternity, not really sure what I was supposed to do next. I heard Sirius scream again, and Jeff might have been saying something, but at that moment, I was so inside myself that it was all just a fuzzy rumbling in the background.

"I can't believe it," I murmured. "I'm pregnant…"


	65. Chapter 65

_I can't believe it,_ I thought, staring down at my trembling hands. Small pools of tears were starting to form in my palms. _I'm pregnant… I'm going to have a baby…_

_It shouldn't be surprising, really,_ my inner voice reminded me. _I mean, the two of you make love pretty much every night. That's how these things happen._

"Vi-Vi?" Jeff ventured, after I'd been sitting on his bedroom floor for a good twenty minutes. "Are you alright?"

"I'm-m f-fine," I gulped. "Peachy; n-never b-b-been better."

"Do you need help getting up?" he asked kindly.

I shook my head, "I'll g-get up w-when I'm good and ready, t-thank you."

"Okay…" he said, crouching down to rub my shoulder. "Do you want me to get your Goober?

I shook my head again, "No, I'm _fine_."

"How about a glass of water?" he suggested. "Or some of your peppermint tea?"

"No," I said, still shaking my head. "I d-d-don't want anything!"

"Okay…" he whimpered, sounding mildly terrified.

I sighed desperately, "W-what am I going to tell Remus? He's going to be so angry…"

"What makes you say that?" Jeff inquired as he sat down next to me, folding his hairy, lankly legs delicately under his skirt.

I snorted, "We didn't exactly plan this, you know."

"So? That doesn't make a difference," Jeff said, sounding very sure of himself. "In fact, most pregnancies are unplanned."

I blinked, "Seriously?"

"Of course they are!" said Jeff. "I mean, look at Percy's family. Do you think his folks sat down one day and said, '_oh, hey, I think having two dozen children sounds like a fun idea'_? Of course they didn't."

I chuckled, "Yeah, I guess…"

"But that doesn't mean that his parents don't love all their ginger spawns. Besides," Jeff said, giving me one of his warm, motherly smiles, devoid of snickering _or_ eyebrow-wagging, "Lu-Lu loves his precious little Vi-Vi very much. I think he'll be very happy when he hears that you're giving him a child."

A tiny smile crept across my face, "Do you really think so?"

He nodded, "I think he would be a very loving father, too."

"Yes, he would," I agreed, closing my eyes as the picture-perfect visual formed in my head. It was so easy to imagine him, cradling our baby in his gentle arms…

That image was even better than the Euphoria Elixir.

"I want to tell him," I said as I opened my eyes. "I want to tell him right now."

"So why are you sitting in here with me?" Jeff asked. "Go on! Run to your lover and tell him the news!"

"I will," I said, grinning wildly as I stumbled to my feet and out of the room. "Thank you, Jeff. Thank you so much!"

"All in a day's work," I heard him say before I darted through the door. I heard the record player in the living room, and immediately set off in that direction, taking the staircase two steps at a time until I reached the bottom.

"Remus!" I said, before I realized that the person examining the bookshelf in the front room was, in fact, a stranger. Once I looked past the rugged, patched clothing, I realized that this man was too tall to be Remus, and that his extremely thin head of hair contained far my gray strands than brown ones. I also noticed a relatively tall stack of luggage sitting by the front door.

The stranger, startled by my voice, let out a short, wordless scream, unintentionally tossing the knickknack he had been fondling into the air.

For once, I was able to think on my toes, and I had my wand out before the object – a ceramic own that my mother had been very fond of – hit the floor. The possibility that this man might be a muggle didn't cross my mind until after I'd spoken the incantation, "Wingardium Leviosa!"

"Oh, thank goodness," the man said, holding his hand over his heart as the object hovered just above the ground. "I thought the poor thing was a goner there for a second."

"Yeah, me too," I said, guiding the owl back to its place on the shelf, relived that he was a wizard, or at least familiar with magic.

"I'm sorry, you must think I'm terribly rude," he said, scratching his scalp nervously. "Please, allow me to-"

"Oh John, you have to take a look at these towels! Feel how soft this is!" an unidentified woman said as she scurried out into the living room, bringing with her one of Nana's bathroom towels. Her floor length gray dress looked like something out of a Jane Austin novel, and her face appeared far too young to be paired with the bun of dark silver hair perched on the top of her head.

"Wonderful, Imogen," the man said, awkwardly reaching out to stroke the towel. "Yes, they're quite lovely."

"We should get towels like these, don't you think?" she said, eyeing the cloth as if it were made of gold. "Not in this horrid yellow color, of course. We'd get blue or green, to match the bathroom-"

He cleared his throat, "My dear, I think it might be best if you'd return that to its proper place…"

"Um, excuse me," I said, trying my best to be polite. "Who are you, and what are you doing in my-"

"John!" the woman gasped, slapping her companion with the towel. "Why didn't you tell me we weren't alone?"

He sighed, "Well, I-"

"Now this poor girl probably thinks I'm some kind of lunatic!" she shrieked, hitting him again.

"She wouldn't be too far off, would she?" he teased, grabbing the other end of the towel.

"You can be so horrible, John!" she said, attempting to pull the towel out of his grasp. "Give that back!"

"Why?" he asked innocently. "It isn't yours."

"It isn't yours, either," she reminded him shrilly.

"Here, just… let me take that," I said, yanking the fuzzy yellow towel away from them. It reminded me of taking a toy away from two fighting children.

The woman sighed, putting on a dignified face, "Sorry about that, dear. My husband gets carried away sometimes; he doesn't mean anything by it."

I forced a smile, "It's no trouble at all, really. But if you're looking for a room, I'm afraid there are none available."

That wasn't the case, of course, but I couldn't tell them the truth; that we weren't accepting new residents because a convicted murderer was currently hiding out in the boarding house.

"But… we were invited," the woman said, looking quite confused. "Or is it possible that we've wandered into the wrong establishment? Oh, that would be incredibly embarrassing…"

"No, I'm sure this is the place," her husband said, pulling a wrinkled piece of parchment out of his back pocket. "This is the exact house described in the letters."

"And… _who_ invited you, exactly?" I asked, suddenly on the verge of boiling over. Everyone knew that we couldn't risk exposing Sirius; who would have been stupid enough to invite guests?

"Our son, of course," she replied. "We haven't seen him for years… He hardly ever writes us anymore, can you believe that? Doesn't he realize his mother worries about him?"

_These must me Sirius's parents,_ I thought suddenly. _And if that's the case, it certainly explains a lot…_

"Was someone calling for me a few moments ago?" Remus asked, dismounting the staircase and entering the front room, with a fresh book under his arm. "I was in the library and I-"

"Remus!" the woman cried, running past me and nearly knocking me over with her wide dress. The tall man managed to grab my arm and steady me before I toppled over completely. "There you are! I was starting to worry that we'd gone to the wrong house!"

"The w-wrong…" Remus stuttered dumbly as the older woman embraced him. "What are you doing here in the first place?"

"We came to see you, of course!" she said, clearly disappointed by Remus's reaction. "Aren't you happy to see us?"

"Of course I am," he said, his shocked expression morphing into a warm one. If his arms hadn't been trapped, he might have returned her gesture. "It's always nice to see you, Mother."

"_Mother_?" I repeated, feeling my stomach start to act up again. "You mean _he's_ your son?"

"Of course he's our son," she said, as if any other assumption was preposterous.

"It's good to see you again, Remus," the man said, taking one long step forward. His wife moved out of the way, but instead of imitating her hug, the two men simply shook hands. Even that seemed a bit awkward, and didn't last more than a few seconds. "You appear to be doing… well."

Remus gave me a brief glance, "I've never felt better."

"So Remus," his mother said eagerly. "When are we going to meet this woman we've heard so much about?"

"Yes, we're both quite excited," his father added. "You've painted quite a picture for us; I'm almost afraid that the real thing will be disappointing."

_You have no idea,_ I thought sarcastically, though I kept my mouth shut.

"But I thought you'd already met…" Remus said, looking at his father as though he had just sprouted an extra head.

"The only person we've spoken to his this girl," Mrs. Lupin said, pointing to me. "And she hasn't even formally introduced herself yet."

Remus's eyes lit up with enlightenment as he finally put the puzzle together. He stared at me for a few moments, as if he expected me to offer some sort of explanation, but all I could do was shrug.

"Mum, Dad…" he said, moving past them to stand next to me. He reached for my hand, looking puzzled when he found it was already occupied by the towel. He recovered quickly, however, opting to wrap his arm around my waist. "_This_ is Violet Carroll. Violet, I'd like for you to meet my parents; John and Imogen Lupin."

I felt that familiar schoolgirl blush creep across my face, and I involuntarily turned my head in an attempt to hide it. My eyes flickered back, however, wondering what their reactions would be. Mrs. Lupin was staring at me, her expression ridged, but blank. Mr. Lupin's face, however, lit up with endearment, and I wondered why I hadn't realized who he was from the start.

"Oh, Remus…" he said, smiling at me warmly. "She looks absolutely darling…"

"_Darling_?" Mrs. Lupin repeated shrilly, shooting her husband a dirty look. "Are you blind? This girl can't be more than sixteen!"

"I-I'm eighteen," I defended timidly, knowing that it wouldn't make much difference.

Mr. Lupin sighed, "Now, Imogen-"

"Don't you _Imogen_ me," she said, glaring at him in a way that made him appear several inches shorter. "Remus, you can't possibly be serious about this. She's young enough to have been one of your…" she paused as reality set in, and I watched as every last drop of color drained from her already pale face. "She's one of your students, isn't she?!"

"_Former_ student," Remus corrected frantically, as if that made everything okay. The tone of his voice suggested that he knew his plea wouldn't make any difference; I had never seen him look quite so apprehensive.

"My son is a cradle robber!" she whaled hysterically.

"I'm not a cradle robber…" he said, his face reddening at the accusation. "I just… Violet, she…"

"L-look," I interjected, feeling my throat tighten up as I finally spoke. "I know how this looks, but…"

What was I supposed to say? Telling them the truth couldn't possibly make things better, but I knew that if I told a lie, I would stumble through it so terribly that no one would believe it.

"I'm not a student anymore," I said finally, hoping to dodge the truth completely.

"I would be lying if I told you I don't feel guilty about the whole thing," Remus admitted, rubbing my back gently. "But I can't imagine my life without Violet; she has been very kind to me, and I love her very much."

Mrs. Lupin looked quite flustered, and it took her a few seconds to come up with response. "But she's too young for you, Remus! Don't you want someone more… mature? Someone you can share your life with?"

_I'm mature…_ I thought, my eyes falling to the ground. I really wanted to stand up for myself, but I couldn't help but feel as though she was at least partially right. If he really wanted to, Remus could have found someone better; someone closer to his age, someone smarter or prettier. Someone who wasn't a complete nervous wreck who overlooks important details, such as putting non-human hairs in his best friend's Polyjuice Potion or forgetting something as fundamental as birth control…

"I can't think if anyone I'd rather share my life with, actually," Remus said, sounding a little bit more confidant. Once again, I imagined the two of us together with our child, and I couldn't believe how lucky I was.

"Mother, the two of you have been harassing me for _years_ about settling down," he went on.

She crossed her arms, "We have not been _harassing_ you. We're just… concerned… We were starting to think that you were going to be alone forever…" she whimpered, tearing up a bit. Mr. Lupin reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief for her. She dabbed her eyes as she continued. "John and I were afraid that we'd never meet our grandchildren…"

_You don't have to worry about that anymore,_ I thought, resisting the sudden urge to caress my belly.

"I don't know about grandchildren," Remus said nervously, causing my mood to fall a bit. "But you got what you wanted; I've found someone who makes me happy, and… well, I like to think she feels the same way."

"You know I do," I said, resting some of my weight against his body. "I've never been this happy before in my entire life…"

"All fifteen years of it," Mrs. Lupin huffed.

"Eighteen," I corrected again, somehow managing to sound more self-conscious the second time I said it. "A-and… I can understand why you're concerned; this isn't exactly conventional-"

Her eyes narrowed, causing my stomach to do another flip. "I should say not."

"B-but I really do care for Remus very deeply," I sputtered. "You never have to worry about that…"

"Imogen, do you have to be so hard on the poor girl?" John asked, managing to pull one of his wife's hands out of her firmly folded arms. "Just look at them, I'm sure anyone could see it; our son's in love."

"But…" Imogen said helplessly, looking back and forth between Remus and I rapidly. Each time her eyes moved, her expression softened a little, and eventually, her lips curled up into a small smile, and I felt my stomach relax a little.

"I… I suppose I may have been a bit quick to judge," she said finally. "If you love her, Remus, I have no business standing in your way. You've always had a good head on your shoulders; you can be trusted to make the right decision… And her youthfulness almost guarantees her fertility."

My face felt like it had gone up in flames.

"Mother," Remus sighed, rubbing his temple. "Please…"

"What?" Mrs. Lupin said innocently. "What's wrong?"

Mr. Lupin chuckled, kissing her hand gently, "I think you gave Miss Carroll a bit of a fright, dear."

"I did?" she said, looking at me seriously. "Did I frighten you?"

"N-no," I said, shaking my head. "I'm not frightened at all. W-would you like some tea?"

She grinned broadly, "I would love some, thank you."

"Please, have a seat in the living room," I said, pointing them in the right direction. "I'll be right in."

The older couple seemed content, filing into the room together without a word. Remus hung behind for a few moments, kissing my forehead as soon as they were gone.

"So, what's this about?" Remus asked, grinning at me as he pointed to the towel I was still holding.

"It's nothing," I said, blushing as I placed it on the front desk.

"I apologize for what my mother said to you," he whispered. "She… can get carried away like that, sometimes. It's usually pretty easy to reel her back in, though. I'm sure she'll come around."

"It's alright," I said, loosely wrapping my arms around him. I wanted desperately to tell him the news, but I decided that I should probably wait until we were really alone, so we could discuss the situation in detail. "I just wish I knew they were coming."

"Me too," Remus snorted.

"Wait…" I said, puzzled. "I thought they said you invited them…"

"When they wrote me saying they wanted to meet you, I told them I was sure that you wouldn't mind if they came to visit us sometime," he said. "But I didn't think 'sometime' meant showing up a few days later, completely unannounced…"

I chuckled, "Oh, I see."

"But I suppose they picked a good time to do it," he said. "With… _Snuffles_ in his current state, I don't think we have to worry about my parents bumping into him."

"Right," I sighed, resting my forehead against his chest. "How is he? I heard him screaming when I walked in…"

"Miss Clearwater thinks he'll make a full recovery," Remus assured me, rubbing my back. "Aria and I practically had to force that potion you made down his throat; he says he'll never drink any of your concoctions ever again."

"I can hardly blame him," I sighed heavily. "I really screwed that up, huh?"

"It's not as if you wished for this to happen," he said, tilting my face up. "He's tough; I'm sure he'll come out of this just fine."

"Remus, quit bothering the poor girl!" Mr. Lupin teased, poking his balding head into the front room. "How can you expect her to make the tea if you can't keep your hands off of her?"

"Right," he said, quickly pulling away from me so suddenly that I almost fell forward. His cheeks were turning a cute shade of pink in embarrassment. "Sorry…"

"I'll try to hurry," I said, scampering into the kitchen. Just as I expected, I found Moth there, putting a kettle of water on the stove just as I pushed through the swinging door.

"Miss Carroll, were those guests Moth heard?" she asked, crawling down from her stepladder.

I nodded, "Remus's parents are here."

The house-elf gasped, "Moth didn't know we were expecting Mr. Lupin's parents!"

"I didn't either," I groaned, leaning against the counter. "Listen, Moth; do you think you could take their luggage upstairs?"

"Of course!" she said. "Moth would be delighted! Which room would Miss Carroll like me to put the luggage in?"

"If it isn't too much trouble, could you put them in the big room on the third floor?" I requested.

"Ohh, trying to impress the in-laws," Moth said, nodding. "Moth understands; she'll put the luggage away as soon as Mr. Black and Miss Tate's tea is finished."

"Do you think I could steal some?" I asked. "I actually came in here to make some for-"

"Of course! Of course!" Moth cut me off. "Moth will get out the good china, if Miss Carroll would like her to!"

"Yes," I smiled. "I think that's a good idea…"

Moth scurried over to the cabinet, pulling out the beautiful blue teapot and four matching cups, examining them all carefully, "What are they like?"

"They're very fragile," I told her. "They were actually a wedding gift for my grandparents, so they're quite old-"

"No, not the china," said Moth. "Mr. Lupin's parents!"

"Oh, right…" I said, laughing dryly at my mistake. "I'm not quite sure what to make of them, honestly. I don't think Mrs. Lupin likes me very much…"

Moth frowned, "Aww, I'm sorry to hear that… But a lot of moms are like that! I know Mr. Flanders, Miss Tate, and Miss Zimmer are very protective of you!"

"They aren't my real moms, though," I reminded her.

"I'm sure she'll come around," Moth declared, as if she didn't hear my comment at all. She quickly prepared the tea and pushed me back through the swinging door.

My hands were shaking so violently that the china was clattering on the tray as I carried it into the living room. John and Imogene were seated on the sofa; he wore the uneasy expression of someone sitting in an unfamiliar room, while she looked as relaxed as she would in her own home. Remus was off in the corner, fidgeting with his record player.

"So we figured, why not drop in on Remus while we're at it?" Mrs. Lupin was saying. "I mean, it was only a little bit out of our way, and we don't have to be in Manchester until the end of the week-"

"It's alright," Remus said, sounding a little irritated as he selected a record from the box.

"But if we're imposing-"

"It's fine, Mother," he assured her, placing the record in its place. The room was soon flooded by a soft trumpet solo.

"You're not imposing," I promised, sitting the rattling tray down on the coffee table. "Really, I'm so glad to finally meet the two of you-"

"Miss Carroll, are you alright?" Mr. Lupin asked, looking at me with deep concern. "You're shaking something awful."

"I'm fine," I said, neatly folding my skirt as I sat down across from them on the loveseat. "I… I have shaky hands, that's all."

I was thankful when Mrs. Lupin took the initiative and poured our tea; once I had been called out, my hands started to shake even more, and I probably would have splashed tea all over the place. As she was passing the cups around, Sirius let out another miserable cry.

I gulped, _Poor Sirius…_

"What was that?" Mr. Lupin asked as he stared up at the ceiling. "Are you having problems with a ghoul of some sort?"

"No, it's nothing like that," I said, taking slow, tiny sips of tea. "It's… well…"

"That's one of the other residents," Remus jumped in, sitting down next to me, close enough that our legs were touching. "He seems to have had some sort of magical mishap; his face was completely disfigured."

"Oh dear," Mrs. Lupin gasped, her face growing pale. "Is the damage permanent?"

"It's going to take him some time to recover, but we think he'll be alright," said Remus. The way he placed his hand on my knee suggested that he was trying to convince me just as much as he was trying to convince them.

"Remus, do sit up straight," his mother said sternly. "Your shoulders look even narrower when you slump over like that."

He heaved a heavy sigh, but ultimately obeyed her orders, sipping at his tea delicately.

"And when are you going to shave that dreadful mustache?" she asked him. "It looks like you've got a bloody caterpillar sitting on your lip."

Remus smirked, removing his hand from my knee so he could drape his arm across my shoulder, "Violet likes my mustache."

Mrs. Lupin wrinkled her nose, "Please be _reasonable._ I'm sure Miss Carroll would prefer you clean-shaven; wouldn't you, dear?"

"I like his mustache," I confirmed. Though stating an opposing opinion made me nervous, I couldn't help but giggle as I thought about the gentle way it tickled my skin while he kissed me. "Quite a bit, actually..."

Mr. Lupin clapped his hands together, ready to change the subject before another argument broke out, "So, Miss Carroll-"

"Please," I interrupted. "Call me Violet."

"Violet…" he repeated, looking as though he were giving it some serious thought. "Such a beautiful name; it suits you very well."

"Thank you," I said, taking a sip of my tea, in hopes that I could hide behind the cup.

"Will we be meeting your parents soon, Violet?" he asked.

I gulped, placing my now-empty teacup on the coffee table, "I'm afraid not; my mother passed away when I was a child, and my father…"

"He doesn't exactly approve of me," Remus said somberly. "Because of the age difference, and my… condition."

"Oh," Mr. Lupin sighed, looking very disappointed. His long, bony finger traced the edge of his saucer. "I'm sorry to hear that... But that means you… er, _know_?"

"Yes, I know about his lycanthropy," I said, latching on to Remus's arm. "I've known about it from the start."

"And it doesn't bother you?" he asked, as if he was seeing something he thought couldn't possibly exist.

"No," I said firmly, tightening my hold on his arm.

We were interrupted by yet another bloodcurdling scream, but this time, it wasn't Sirius. It was a woman screaming now.

"Who was that?" Mrs. Lupin asked.

"_Oh God, Lutie!_" the voice shouted, and this time I easily recognized the voice as Ms. McGuff's.


	66. Chapter 66

"Oh no," I breathed, jumping up from my seat so quickly that I nearly tripped over my own shoes. The sound of my heart beating in my ears and my frantic footsteps blended together, almost completely blocking out Mrs. Lupin's hollering as the three of them followed me upstairs. It was easy to locate Ms. McGuff; the door to one of the second floor bedrooms was ajar, and I could hear her uncontrollable sobs from several yards away.

I screamed myself when I saw the cause of Sarah's distress; a loud, almost involuntary cry that echoed through the unused bedroom. Remus let out a yelp of his own when he arrived moments later, and placed his hand on my shoulder as if he needed to steady himself.

The sight was more than enough to make me sick, but I forced it back down as best as I could. I felt my heart turn to stone as looked down at Lutie. She was lying on the floor in an awkward, twisted position, her eyes opened wide as she stared at the ceiling lifelessly. Though I didn't see any type of obvious wound, it was quite obvious that she was dead.

"Oh God…" I heard Mrs. Lupin murmured, and in my mind I could see her turning away from the body with fear. I couldn't bring myself to look at her, or the Lupins; my eyes were stuck to Lutie's body like glue.

"W-w-what…" I started, but I couldn't bring myself to finish.

"I don't know," Ms. McGuff said through her tears. "I j-just opened the wardrobe to get some f-fresh sheets and… She fell out…"

"Oh God…" Mrs. Lupin repeated, sounding slightly hysterical this time.

"What the bloody hell is going on in here?" an all too familiar voice asked. "Who are these clowns?"

Remus, Sarah, and I all turned around quickly enough to give us whiplash, unable to believe our ears. At first, I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, but when I looked, I saw Lutie, nestled between Aria, Jeff, and Stephen. The four of them all wore a similar, concerned expression.

"Lutie!" Ms. McGuff cried, pushing past me – the same way Imogen had done downstairs earlier – to embrace her daughter. "Oh Lutie!"

"Oww, Mum! Stop that!" Lutie hissed, her face turning red as she tried to wiggle her way out of the hug. "What's gotten into you?!"

"Holy hell," Stephen said, adjusting his glasses as he pointed to Lutie's (?) body. Aria, Lutie, and Jeff followed his finger, their completions paling when they saw.

"But wait," said Aria, looking more curious than mortified. "If Lutie's here, then…"

"How do we know this is the real Lutie?" Jeff asked, leaning forward to examine her more closely.

She spat at him, "Get out of my face, homo; of course it's the real me."

He cleared his throat, wiping the spit from his face, "Yup, this is the real Lutie alright."

"Thank goodness," Ms. McGuff said, tightening her hold on Lutie as she stroked her hair.

"Mum…" she grumbled.

"But what is _that_?" Stephen asked, nodding towards the mysterious Lutie-lookalike.

"I think I know," said Remus, looking over at his parents as if he wanted their approval. "Don't you think?"

Mr. Lupin nodded, "Probably; would you like me to take care of it?"

"No, I'll get it," Remus insisted.

"Are you sure?" his father asked. "I understand if-"

"I can handle it," Remus said, sounding a bit sour as he stepped into the middle of the room. My stomach made a tiny sound as Lutie's dead body stood up slowly, looking at us for a few seconds before her body began to morph. She rose off the floor, causing Stephen, Lutie, and Ms. McGuff to scream. The rest of us had figured out what was going on by the time the body had completely transformed, into a large full moon.

"It was a boggart," I said, feeling a bit relieved.

"What's a boggart?" the three muggles asked.

"Riddikulus!" Remus said, waving his wand at the boggart. The round moon deflated, flying back into the wardrobe, which shut so roughly that the entire thing rocked as if it would fall over..

"It's a kind of monster," Aria explained smoothly. "They take the shape of one's worst fear. But what was it doing up here?"

"Is it gone?" Sarah McGuff asked, sounding completely horrified.

"No; it's still in there," Mr. Lupin sighed. "I can dispose of it entirely, if you'd like."

"I can-" Remus started, but Mrs. Lupin immediately shot him a horrible look that send a chill through the entire room. "Thank you, Dad. That would be very nice."

"Yes," I said. "We would really appreciate it."

"And who are _these_ wonderful-looking individuals?" Jeff asked, smirking as he leaned on Aria's shoulder.

"These are my parents," Remus said, and I felt his hand nudging mine. I opened my tightly curled fist, making room for his fingers to slip between mine. I loved it when he held my hand. He never just grabbed me; he always found some subtle way to ask permission first.

"John and Imogen," Mr. Lupin said, placing his hand on his wife's shoulder.

"Well _hello,_" Jeff said, holding out his hand for them to shake. John accepted it, looking a bit distracted by his appearance. "My name is Jeff Flanders, and this is Aria Tate, and we just happen to be Violet's parents."

I smacked my forehead, _Oh brother…_

"Her… parents?" Mrs. Lupin questioned. "But that's impossible; you're all the same age."

"Nothing is impossible with the power of parental love!" Jeff said as he threw his arm around me, pulling me over to where he and Aria were standing. Remus held onto my hand tightly, having to step forward so he wouldn't yank my arm out if it's socket. "Isn't that right, Ari?"

"Mmmmmhmm," she cooed, resting her head on my shoulder. Her puffy blond hair tickled my nose.

_They're so embarrassing,_ I thought, feeling my face grow warmer by the second.

"Well, it is a pleasure to meet you, regardless," Mr. Lupin said, smiling at them.

"And then who are these people?" Mrs. Lupin said, pointing to Stephen, Lutie, and Ms. McGuff.

"This is Sarah and Lutie McGuff," I said, pointing to the tiny family. "Sarah is our housekeeper. And this is Stephen, who… lives here too."

"I write fiction and poetry," Stephen said shyly.

"Aww, that's sweet," Mrs. Lupin said, looking quite endearing for a few seconds before she glared at her husband. "John _used _to write me poetry all the time, back when we were courting."

He heaved a heavy sigh, "Those poems were horrible, Imogen; _that's_ why I don't write them anymore."

"I never said that they were good," she said. "But it made me feel loved…"

He smiled, "Alright, I'll try to write you something later…"

"Oh, hello!" Moth said, seeming to appear out of thin air. "This is very convenient for Moth, finding you all in one place! How fortunate!"

Aria smiled at her little servant, "What is it, Moth?"

"It is now time for dinner," said Moth.

I blinked, "How'd you make dinner so quickly?"

"Oh, Moth didn't make dinner," she said, shaking her head. "No, not at all! Mr. Carroll brought dinner home with him! Moth didn't even lift a finger!"

Mr. Lupin looked a little confused, "And Mr. Carroll is…?"

"My uncle," I replied.

"When Moth told Mr. Carroll about our guests, Mr. Carroll seemed very excited," Moth told us. "Mr. Carroll said he would even break out the good liquor for the occasion!"

_With Uncle Jack, every day is an occasion to break out the good liquor,_ I thought, having to hold back a snicker. The looks on the faces of my fellow housemates suggested that they were thinking the same thing.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Mrs. Lupin asked, sounding quite excited. "We can't keep the poor man waiting!"

"It's this way!" Moth said, feeding off of the older woman's enthusiasm as she bounded down the stairs. "Follow Moth, she will show you!"

I hung back for a few moments, allowing the rest of the party to walk several feed ahead. I tugged on Aria's sleeve, signaling her to walk behind with me.

"Is _he_ alright?" I whispered.

"He'll be fine," she said, sounding mildly frustrated. "I think half of that screaming might have just been for attention."

I frowned, "You really think so?"

"Penelope and I put a silencing charm up around the door just a bit ago," she told me. "And after that, he quieted down quite a bit."

"Huh…" I sighed, my guilt only lifting slightly as we reached the bottom of the staircase. In the dining room, introductions were being made, and Ms. McGuff was setting up some extra chairs.

_We used to seat more people than this,_ I reminded myself. _So this shouldn't be a _really_ tight fit…_

"It's a pleasure to finally meet both of you," my uncle was saying as I slipped into my chair. A large plate of sandwiches was sitting in the middle of the table, in an arrangement that started out wide towards the bottom, but got smaller as the stack reached for the ceiling.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, as well," John said, smiling broadly.

Imogen, however, looked a bit distressed. I assumed it was because my _real_ "parental figure" was only a few years older than her son.

"Please, sit!" said Uncle Jack, his booming voice filling the room. "A friend from my office gave me these sandwiches as a gift, and there's no way I could possibly eat them all by myself."

_Who gives sandwiches as a gift?_ I wondered. _But I suppose for Uncle Jack, gifts of food are appropriate…_

"I doubt that," Lutie said quietly. Penelope and Stephen snickered at her comment, and I shot her a dirty look. No one else seemed to hear it.

"What would everyone like to drink?" Moth asked, as eager to serve as ever.

"I'll just have water," I replied, and most of the table nodded in agreement.

"I'd rather have apple juice," said Lutie.

"Chocolate milk, please," Ashley said, grinning like a small child. "On the rocks."

"Brandy for me," said Uncle Jack. "And I'm sure Aria would-"

"I think I had better stick with Butterbeer tonight, actually," Aria interrupted.

Uncle Jack looked disappointed, "How about you, Lupin?"

"No thank you," Remus and John said together. Their faces twisted into a similar, surprised expression when they realized they had spoken in unison.

Uncle Jack laughed, "How about you, _Mrs_. Lupin?"

"I suppose a small glass wouldn't hurt…" she said, tapping her chin.

"Moth will be right back!" the House Elf said, scurrying into the kitchen.

"Remus didn't tell us you had a House Elf," Mrs. Lupin sighed. "I'm a bit surprised; slavery isn't normally something one sees in polite society."

My face was suddenly on fire again.

Remus buried his face in his hands, "Mother…"

"Moth is a good friend of mine," Aria said, leaping to the rescue and sounding very offended. "She's been with my family for years-"

"Drinks! Drinks!" Moth sang, re-entering the dining room. I felt my heart drop when I saw her; in each hand she held a tower of drinks, each glass stacked on top of another. I bit down on my lip so hard that I was afraid I might draw blood, but somehow she managed to get everyone their drink without spilling even a single drop.

"That was impressive," Mr. Lupin said, in an attempt to make up for his wife's comments.

"Thank you, sir," Moth said, bowing graciously. "Don't be afraid to tell Moth if Mr. Lupin needs anything; Moth is always happy to help."

"I'm sure you are," he said, smiling at her as she disappeared into the kitchen once again. "See, Imogen? I'm sure she's treated quite humanely here."

"I suppose…" Mrs. Lupin said hesitantly.

"Eat, please!" said Uncle Jack. He was the first to obey his own request, grabbing two fat sandwiches from the top of the stack.

"These look yummy," Ashley said, looking a little apprehensive as she reached forward to grab one. She and Stephen exchanged an awkward glance before she started eating.

_I wonder what's up with that…_ I thought. _Stephen mentioned something about getting tired of her the other day… Did they break up? Oh, I hope not; we really don't need any more drama around this place-_

"Violet, would you like a sandwich?" Remus asked, snapping me out of my trance.

"Hmm? Oh! Yes, please," I said, handing him my plate. "Thank you."

"What sort of business did you say you were in, Jack?" Mr. Lupin asked.

"Money," he said, with a mouth full of food. "I run an institution that exchanges muggle currency for wizarding coins."

"Is it very successful?" Mrs. Lupin asked.

"_Very_," Uncle Jack said, reaching for his drink. "It's very convenient for individuals who live… er, shall we say, _between_ worlds, like myself."

I was too busy eating to put in my own thoughts; now that I knew my increase in appetite was due to my pregnancy, I saw no reason not to help myself to seconds. It would be unhealthy for the baby if I didn't, right?

Mrs. Lupin seemed to notice my overzealous eating, because she was quick to make a comment about it. She looked taken aback as she said, "Goodness, Violet… Do you always eat so much?"

"No," Ashley said, looking a bit intrigued herself. "She doesn't…"

"Normally, she eats a bit like a bird," Jeff said, winking at me.

I swallowed, the half-chewed food going down roughly, "I've just had a long day, that's all."

Dinner seemed to drag by so slowly that it felt like it was never ending, and it was all I could do not to sigh with relief when the Lupins announced that they were retiring early (Mrs. Lupin insinuated that she was exhausted from their trip, but I got the impression that she wanted to gossip with her husband in private). Stephen seemed eager to escape the social situation as well, and quickly retreated to his room as soon as he was finished eating, without saying goodnight to Ashley. I planned on pulling her aside to ask her about their circumstances, but she disappeared soon after that. Aria and Remus took a plate of sandwiches up to Sirius, and asked if I wanted to join them. I was swift to decline the invitation; somehow, I didn't think he would want to see me after what had happened.

Instead, I decided to take a bubble bath, hoping to wash away my stressful day. The too-warm water burned as I sunk into it. I continued to lower myself into the tub until I was in up to my nose, not caring if the lilac-scented suds got in my hair. I tilted my head back and blew on the pile of bubbles in front of me, sending them scattering through the air.

I chuckled, placing my hand over my stomach. I wondered if my unborn child could somehow feel the warmth of the water around my body. I wondered if it liked the feeling. I wondered who it would look like; Remus, myself, or perhaps another relative? I wondered if it would be a boy or a girl. I wondered until all of the bubbles had disappeared.

I sighed, pulling the plug as I stepped out of the tub, watching the murky water disappear down the drain as I dried myself off.

_I don't think I'm showing yet,_ I thought, using magic to quickly dry my hair. I had forgotten to bring a clean change of clothes with me, so I wrapped my large purple towel around my naked body before I left the bathroom. The air in the hallway felt cold on my exposed skin, so I hurried down the hall into my bedroom.

Remus was there when I arrived; sitting on the bed, hunched over a book. He had removed his coat and tie, and looked quite comfortable. His eyes flickered up from the page when he heard me shut the door, and he watched walk over to the dresser. I couldn't take my eyes of him – not even for a second – and was legitimately frightened when my foot collided with a pile of books. Both the stack and my body hit the floor with a loud _thud_, and books were scattered everywhere. I blushed furiously, scrambling to cover myself.

"Violet, are you alright?" Remus asked, suddenly at my side the second I was in a minor state of distress. His eyes were wide with concern.

"Y-yeah," I stammered dumbly. "Just had a little fall… These books are starting to get ridiculous, huh?"

"Yes," he said, his eyes wandering from me to the mess in front of us, then to my scantily clad body for a few seconds before his gaze met mine again. He cleared his throat, "Yes, I suppose they are…"

"I'm going to put on some pajamas, and then I think I'll take some of these back to the library," I said. "Before we don't have any room left to move."

"That's probably a good idea," he said, giving me a quick kiss before he helped me stand. It was easy for him to return to the world of his book, but I still couldn't help but stare while I changed, gathered up an armful of books, and left for the library.

My vision was obscured by the large stack of volumes in my arms, but I had made the trek so many times that I had no problem finding the library and placing them on an empty table. The hall had been so quiet that I had assumed I was alone until I spotted Mr. Lupin standing in the corner, examining the contents of one of the book shelf. I let out a tiny cry of surprise, which lead him to spin around rapidly, his face white with shock. A few books fell from their homes on the shelf and landed on the floor.

He let out a sigh of relief, "We've got to stop meeting like this…"

I laughed nervously, unable to control my book-abuse senses as I hurried over to collect the fallen books, which had all landed in awkward, page-bending positions.

"I'm terribly sorry," Mr. Lupin said, taking the newly straightened books and putting them back. "I've been very clumsy today…"

"I know how that feels," I said, walking back over to the stack of books I had brought with me. I grabbed the top two and began searching for their rightful, alphabetical places in the library.

"You have quite the collection here," said Mr. Lupin. "I was just admiring it when you came in."

"Do you read, too?" I asked. It always made me happy to meet a fellow reader.

"Yes, I suppose you could say that," he said, running a long, thin finger over the spine of a particularly thick tome. "But not nearly as much as Imogen. That woman could spend her entire life reading; sometimes she does it for days."

_That must be where Remus gets it from,_ I thought, gently pushing one of the books onto the shelf.

"Um…" Mr. Lupin said, fidgeting anxiously. "Violet, I don't mean to pry…"

"Pry away," I said, pausing to give him a quick smile before I went back to my work. I liked Mr. Lupin; he was easy to talk to, and reminded me of his son so much that it would be almost impossible to not like him.

"It's just… I don't…" he sighed helplessly. "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, but… Remus, has he ever said anything about me?"

I stepped onto a stool in order to get a book back onto the top shelf, "Like what? I mean, he's talked about you and Mrs. Lupin a little bit…"

Mr. Lupin swallowed, "Does he hate me?"

My stomach curled as I crawled down, "What would make you think something like that?"

"He does, doesn't he?" Mr. Lupin said, collapsing onto the sofa. "I knew he did…"

"Remus doesn't hate you," I said sternly, rushing over to sit down next to him. "How could he hate his own father?"

"I can't blame him," Mr. Lupin said. His voice was quivering. "It's my fault he was bitten – did he tell you that?"

I hesitated, "Yes, he did mention that."

"I used to be an Auror," he explained, looking into the fireplace while he told the story. "The werewolf Fenrir Greyback had quite a large bounty on his head – still does – but no one was ever careless enough to go after him. If you did, he wouldn't go after _you_, he'd go after the people you loved. I was young and naïve, and at the time I thought that I could take him on my own…"

"So he attacked Remus," I concluded.

He nodded, "It was the most awful feeling in the world, Violet. I gave up my career as an Auror to search for a cure, and my wife did everything she could to make things more comfortable for him. But taking care of a werewolf is a lot of work, and Imogen and I had trouble keeping any sort of job for long; no one wanted to hire us, because they knew our wages would be supporting a monster. It wasn't long before we were impoverished."

"That's so horrible," I said bitterly.

"He'll resent me for the rest of his life," said Mr. Lupin. "I just wish he knew how hard I tried, how much Imogen and I love him…"

"Of course he knows," I said, reaching over to rub his back. The gesture felt a bit awkward, but I forced myself to keep it up. "And I'm sure Remus doesn't resent you."

"And I understand if you feel that way, Violet," he said, looking back up at me. In the dimly lit library, he looked so much like Remus that it was almost frightening. "I'm sure his lycanthropy is a very painful thing for you, as well."

"I don't resent you for anything," I insisted. "And neither does Remus, I'm sure of it."

He smiled slightly, "You should get back to him; I'm sure he's lonely without you. I can finish putting those books away for you."

"Are you sure?" I asked, glancing over my shoulder at the stack.

"I'm quite sure," he said, his smile growing. "Go on."

"Alright," I said, hopping off of the sofa and towards the door.

"Oh, Violet!" he called after me.

I poked my head back inside, "Hmm?"

"Please, take care of my son," he said, not sounding quite so solemn now. "And let him take care of you every once and a while. He likes to feel needed."

I nodded, "Yes, sir."

"Now get out of here," he said, waving me off.

_It's so sad,_ I thought as I slowly tiptoed back to the bedroom. _Remus and John have so much in common; they both blame themselves for everything bad that happens around them…_

Remus was right where I had left him; on the bed reading. Now his back was rested against the headboard, and his hair hand fallen into his eyes. His legs were stretched out across the mattress, and I noticed a hole in his brown socks were his big toe was sticking out. This time, he didn't look up when I shut the door. That was fine with me; I was perfectly content to study him without his knowledge.

I didn't understand how he – or anyone – could be that breathtaking, without even trying. Just watching him made my knees feel week and my heart feel warm. When I watched him like this, every tiny detail appeared so perfect that it seemed impossible for him to be real.

_But he is real,_ I thought, grinning to myself. _And we're in love… I'm going to have his child._

I wanted him. I wanted to kiss those wonderful, dry lips while his hands gently caressed my body. I wanted to feel the warmth of his bare skin against mine. I wanted to hold onto his strong, scarred back while he made love to me, whispering beautiful things into my ear with that wonderful, hoarse voice while I whimpered and moaned uncontrollably.

I licked my lips, "Remus…"

His head jerked up, "Oh, hello. Are you ready to go to bed?"

"Mhm," I nodded, sitting down on the bed.

Unsuspectingly, Remus returned his attention to his novel. It was only for a few moments, however, and then he dog-eared one of the pages and stood up. If I wasn't so mesmerized by the sight of him undressing, I would have scolded him for his actions. When he got down to only his socks and a pair of patched-up boxers, he slid into the sheets, leaning over to switch the lamp off.

"Goodnight," he whispered, closing his eyes as he settled into the pillow.

I blinked, feeling quite puzzled. My heart ached a little as I scooted over, gently pushing his hair back into its proper place. I could just barely make out his face in the dying firelight. For a moment, I felt like I could cry.

One of his eyes opened, "What's wrong?"

I leaned down to kiss him, running my tongue over his lips before I slipped it into his mouth. He seemed to understand almost instantly, and his tongue rubbed mine tenderly, apologizing for his unintentionally cold actions. The strange angle was fun for a few moments, but I soon craved a more familiar kiss, so I slowly repositioned myself so that I was on top of him. His hands threaded through my hair, and his thumb rubbed against the back of my neck gently as he pulled our lips apart.

"I thought you might be tired," he said, looking up at me with amazement. "We've both had quite a day…"

_And you don't even know the half of it,_ I thought, shaking my head. "_You're_ not too tired, are you?"

"No," said Remus, almost too quickly. "I just thought _you_ might want to go right to sleep, after everything that happened with Sirius, and with my parents showing up like they did…"

"I want you," I told him, kissing him briefly. I didn't think I could have blushed anymore that day, but somehow, I managed it. "Besides, I… I always sleep better afterwards."

"So do I," he said, tilting my head down and planting a soft kiss on my forehead. He lifted up the comforter, smirking at me. "You are welcome to curl up under here with me, if you like."

"I'd love to," I breathed, happy to burrow under the covers with him. The sheets were already warm, and Remus was quick to pull me into a tight, loving embrace. Our lips connected like magnets, and I we rolled over so we were both on our sides. I pressed my body tightly against his, and he wrapped one of his legs around me, holding me firmly in place while we kissed and nuzzled blindly in the dark.


	67. Chapter 67

Hey there! Sorry this update took so long. I know you were all concerned – I even had a couple of messages asking why a new chapter hadn't come out in so long. I usually pride myself on coming out with quick updates, so I sort of feel the need to explain myself…

I'm transferring to a new college next semester, where credit hours cost twice as much as they do at this school. So I've decided to load up on classes to save myself some money in the long run. Of course, this means I've bitten off way more than I can chew, so for the rest of this semester, updates might be a little slower than normal.

I've also received a bit of nasty news; one of my friends has discovered she has ovarian cancer. They caught it soon enough that there's a good chance she'll get through okay, but it's still a pretty scary thing. Especially since my mom had ovarian cancer when she was around our age, and she almost died… Anyway, it's just been a lot to deal with, on top of all my coursework and getting ready for my transfer next fall.

Again, I'm super sorry for the wait. Despite what I just said, I think the _next_ chapter will be out sooner, because I've been excited for that particular chapter for quite some time. Anyway, enjoy chapter sixty-seven!

Love, Komaki.

*

The sensation of someone gently rubbing my arm slowly pulled me out of my slumber. I forced my eyes open, finding that my hair had fallen into my face. I groaned, attempting to blow it out of the way with little success. I heard Remus chuckle, and felt the hand on my arm slowly glide up towards my face, where it tucked the curtain of auburn hair back behind my ear before he pulled me close, so my back was resting against his chest.

I yawned, "Good morning."

"I'm sorry if I woke you up," he said quietly, pressing his lips against my shoulder. "You were exhausted last night; if you'd like to go back to sleep for a bit-"

"No, I'm fine," I said. "Now that I'm up, I don't think I could get back to sleep."

He nuzzled my neck, "I'm sorry I kept you up so late…"

I felt like it was too early to be blushing like I was. I reached back and threaded my fingers through his hair while he nibbled on my neck lightly, "You know I'd stay up until sunrise with you if you wanted me to…" I said, yawning again as I rolled onto my back. He readjusted as well, propping himself up on his elbow. "You're so gentle, Remus…"

"I don't think I could ever bring myself to be _too_ rough with you," he said, smiling at me fondly. "You're so much smaller than I am; I'm always afraid of hurting you."

"I like that you're big," I said. I didn't understand the implications of my words until Remus smirked at me, and my cheeks flared with embarrassment. "Don't look at me like that! You know what I mean..."

"I do?" he said smugly, kissing my forehead.

"I meant that I like our height difference," I said, snuggling closer. "I always feel safe when we're alone like this."

"I'm not very strong," he confessed, holding me tightly.

"I think you are," I said. "I think you're wonderful…"

_And I'm carrying your child,_ I added in my head, grinning. _No, that's no good! Just thinking about it is no good! I have to tell him; he needs to know!_

"Remus," I whispered. "There's something I need to tell you."

He placed his hand under my chin and tilted my head up, able to grab my gaze with his own, "What is it?"

My throat tightened a little, but I still couldn't keep myself from smiling, "Remus, I'm-"

"Remus!" Mrs. Lupin's shrill voice called from the other side of the door. It was followed immediately by the sound of her banging on the door. "Remus! Are you awake? Remus!"

We looked at each other, both of our faces paling.

_Oh no…_ I thought. If I hadn't been shaking before, I sure was now.

Remus put his finger over his lips, signaling me to be quiet, "Yes, mother. I'll be there in just a moment!"

"What are we supposed to do?" I asked.

"Just… get dressed," he said, rolling out of bed and darting over to the dresser. "And try to think of an excuse!"

"Umm, right," I said, pulling the blanket over myself before I leaned down and grabbed my underwear. Once I had those on, I grabbed the pile of wrinkled clothes at the side of the bed and started pulling them on.

"What are you doing?" Remus hissed at me, as if I was being completely ridiculous. He had managed to get into his underwear, and only the top several buttons on his shirt were buttoned.

"Um… getting dressed?" I answered.

"You can't wear the clothes you wore yesterday!" he snapped. "She'll notice!"

I gulped, "You really think she will?"

"Of course she will," he said. "She's… herself!"

"Right…" I nodded, scurrying over to the wardrobe. I paused, "Wait, is it really that big of a deal if she knows we're-"

"Of course it is!" he said, spinning around quickly and stubbing his toe. He let out a low, wordless cry of pain, and his face twisted.

"What's going on in there?" Mrs. Lupin demanded.

"Remus, are you alright?" Mr. Lupin asked.

_Oh wonderful,_ I thought. _They're both here!_

"I'm fine," he said, wincing. I rushed over to him, grabbing onto his hand and leading him back over to the bed. He gripped onto my hand so tightly that it was starting to hurt as he sat down.

"Did it hurt?" I whispered, pushing his hair out of his face.

"Of course it hurt," he grumbled, and I felt my stomach turning. "I'll be a _fine_, just go change your-"

I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest when the door flung open, but I was somehow able to keep my yelp inside. The Lupins stared at us with blank expressions, and we stared back. I felt my face growing redder and redder by the second, but I couldn't pull my eyes away from them. There I was, standing in front of his parents in my wrinkled clothes, my shirt dangling from my body unbuttoned and my hair unbrushed. Finally, after what felt like hours, Mr. Lupin beamed at us.

"See, Imogen?" Mr. Lupin said proudly. "I _told_ you they were sharing a bed."

"I… I can't believe it," she said, smiling a little herself. "Violet just seems like such a modest girl, and Remus has never been very aggressive… I just assumed that they might not jump into bed so quickly, I suppose."

"I, um…" I stuttered dumbly.

"Oh, you don't need to justify yourself to me, dear," Mrs. Lupin said, winking at me. "It's hard to resist a Lupin man; John and I had several… premarital follies ourselves."

Mr. Lupin's cheeks grew pink as he scratched the back of his neck, "I guess that's one way to put it…"

"It's such a wonderful part of a relationship," she said, latching on to her husband's arm and looking up at him with admiration. "Discovering all those intimate things about your lover, learning what drives them wild…"

I would have almost felt better if she had gotten angry, because I was _expecting_ that. Somehow, this was even more frightening…

"You are taking care of her, aren't you, Remus?" Mrs. Lupin asked, looking at her son seriously.

"I d-do just fine, thank you," he said nervously.

"Not that it's any of our business," Mr. Lupin said, looking just as embarrassed as Remus. In fact, Imogen seemed to be the only one who wasn't uncomfortable with this conversation.

"Of course it's our business," she said, swatting Mr. Lupin with the back of her hand. "We'll never get grandchildren if he can't keep her coming back-"

"Trust me, he won't have a p-p-problem with that," I blurted out, hoping to end the awkward conversation not just for myself, but for John and Remus as well.

"Well, alright," she sighed, not looking completely convinced. "But Violet, if you ever need any sort of advice – not just about matters of the bedroom – you can always come to me. It must be difficult, not having a mother of your own…"

I nodded, "Thank you; I'll keep that in mind."

"Alright," Mr. Lupin said, clapping his hands together. "Moth said she would set up a brunch for us in the garden; would the two of you care to join us?"

"Sure, that sounds nice," I said, smiling. "We'll be right down."

Remus and I both sighed with relief when his parents closed the door behind them. Remus buried his face in his hands, completely exasperated.

"I'm sorry about that," he groaned. "And I'm sorry I was so harsh… I just… I never know what to anticipate when it comes to those two. They always seem to do just the opposite of what I expect of them…"

I shook my head, "I understand; I probably would have behaved the same if it was my parents. But… at least they didn't get mad, right?"

He chuckled, "I think that might have been easier to deal with, really."

"Yeah," I said, rubbing his shoulder. "That's what I was thinking, too."

"I feel like I'm eighteen again," he said, smiling at me in a way that almost made him _look_ eighteen again. "I don't think I've ever been this embarrassed before in my entire life…"

_I think I should wait until after his parents leave to tell him about the baby,_ I decided, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. _Having them here is really stressing him out; I don't want to make things harder on him…_

"Let's get dressed," I said, trying my best to be positive. "Then we can have brunch. I'm pretty hungry…"

"Right," he said, as if he had already forgotten our plans. "Brunch…"

We dressed quickly; Remus into his usual cardigan and me into a knee-length skirt and blouse. After what had happened, I felt the need to make a slightly better impression during brunch. I put on the pearls Remus had given me for Christmas, and he smiled when he saw them, lacing his fingers through mine as he led me downstairs.

"I really am sorry I was short with you before," he said. "I was panicking, not really thinking..."

"It's fine, really," I said, squeezing his hand.

"I don't… I was frustrated," he said, his voice racked with guilt. "I never want to be cold with you, Violet-"

"I don't think of you like that," I assured him, leaning closer. "I don't think I ever could."

"Could ever what?" Mrs. Lupin asked as the two of us stepped outside. Moth had set up an exceptionally beautiful spread for us; tea and finger sandwiches served on the good china. The air outside was warm and still, and a thin layer of clouds helped shield us from the burning summer sun.

"Nothing," Remus answered quickly as we sat down across from his parents. "How was your night?"

"Lovely," Mr. Lupin said sincerely. "You have a wonderful home, Violet."

"Thank you," I said, smiling politely. "It's been in my family for five generations."

"And the library is fantastic," Mrs. Lupin said, as if she were speaking of one of the great wonders of the world, instead of my somewhat humble collection of books. "When Remus first wrote to us about you, he mentioned that you enjoy reading. What sorts of books do you like?"

"The kind with words in them," I replied truthfully; for the most part, I really would read anything that was handed to me. Mr. Lupin chuckled, but the look on his wife's face suggested she thought I was trying to be cheeky. I cleared my throat, "But I mostly prefer fiction."

"I do, as well," she said, reaching for the large plate of sandwiches. "John, would you pour the tea?"

"Um, what's your favorite book, Mrs. Lupin?" I asked carefully. It seemed to be a safe enough question.

"Oh, don't ask me that," she laughed, burying her face in her hands. "I don't think it's possible for me to choose just one!"

"You reread _Jane Eyre_ every few years," Mr. Lupin said as he carefully poured us each a cup of tea. I couldn't help but grin when I realized it was my peppermint tea. I made a mental note to thank Moth later. "Perhaps that one is _really_ your favorite."

Mrs. Lupin let out a tiny, frustrated growl, "I just can't pick! That's like asking me to pick my favorite child!"

"But… you only have one," Remus said, looking slightly confused.

"Of course, but you know what I mean," she said, crossing her arms.

"How about you, Violet?" John Lupin asked me. He wrapped his arm around Mrs. Lupin's waist, kissing her cheek gently. "What's your favorite book?"

"I really like _One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest,_" I said, nibbling on one of the tiny sandwiches before I continued. "But I also really like James Joyce."

"Remus likes Joyce as well," Mrs. Lupin said. "When he was a small boy, _Araby_ was one of his favorite bedtime stories."

Remus nodded, grabbing onto my hand underneath the table, "Literature was one of the first things Violet and I bonded over."

"You have a very mature taste," said Mr. Lupin. "If your library upstairs is any indication."

"Yes," Mrs. Lupin agreed. "I think I'm starting to understand now; why you and Remus get along so well, that is, despite your age difference."

I felt my face light up, but in a good way. I was so happy, sitting there in the garden, with John and Imogen looking at me with approval. I felt like I had accomplished something grand by winning them over, like I had beaten some sort of invincible monster. Suddenly, they didn't seem half as scary as they did in the living room less than twenty-four hours earlier.

_I think they'll be happy when they hear the news,_ I thought, brushing my free hand over my stomach, under the table where the Lupins couldn't see. _They are a bit… eccentric, but I think it'll be good for the baby to have a full set of grandparents…_

I sighed, _I wonder what Dad would think if he was still here… How do I even get a hold of him? I wonder if an owl would be able to find him… Do I even want him to know?_

"Violet, are you alright?" Remus asked.

I blinked, "Hmmm?"

"You were staring down at your plate," he said. "Is something bothering you?"

"I'm fine," I answered quickly. "Just spacing out, you know-"

I paused, my eyes widening with terror as I saw Buckbeak approaching the table. His golden eyes were fixed on Mrs. Lupin's bonnet; a colorful thing decorated with flamboyant feathers. His steps were slow and quiet, and I remembered that he _was_ a predator, after all.

"No!" I blurted out, pointing at Buckbeak. "Get out of here! Shoo!"

Mrs. Lupin frowned at me, placing her teacup back on its saucer, "I beg your pardon?"

"Violet, what-" Remus started, but he fell silent when he saw the hippogriff coming towards his mother. "Buckbeak, you'd better not-"

But Buckbeak paid us no mind. He grabbed onto the bonnet with his shark beak, breaking through the whicker as he yanked it from her head. Imogen let out a loud, glass-shattering scream as she turned around, noticing the large animal for the first time as it trotted off with her bonnet.

"I'm sorry!" Remus apologized before he took off after Buckbeak. It would have been easy for Buckbeak to outrun him, the way Remus hobbled slightly. He could have even flown away, if he really wanted to. But the hippogriff was in this for fun, and he knew Remus would give up of he made things too difficult.

"Get back here, you damned brute," I heard Remus huff as the chase continued.

"Now, Remus," Mr. Lupin said, quickly rushing to aid his son. "You know that's not the proper way to behave around a hippogriff; they're very temperamental…"

I dashed to Mrs. Lupin's side. She had fallen down beside the table, and eagerly accepted my arm when I reached down to help her stand. Without her bonnet, her wild gray hair had fallen down her shoulders in a way that made her appear mad. After a few moments, I realized that she wasn't crying _or_ gasping for breath. She was _laughing._

"S-s-shouldn't we help them?" I asked, too flustered to see the hilarity of the situation.

Mrs. Lupin fell quiet, watching her son and her husband struggle with the hippogriff. They were both panting and wheezing as they chased after Buckbeak, who appeared to be having the time of his life as he watched the two men tripping over their own feet while they yelled and cursed at one another.

She broke out into laughter once again, "I don't think I can stop laughing! Oh, my side! This is just so _funny_!"

I looked back up, finding that Jeff had now joined in the fight to rescue the bonnet before it was completely destroyed. He was clearly unprepared for the task, and seemed to be having difficulty managing the situation wearing a miniskirt and high heeled shoes. He had a raw steak in one hand, but Buckbeak was quite content with his current snack.

I was surprised when I found myself laughing. I knew I should be out there helping; I was a skilled witch, surely there was something I could have done to help them. But once I started, I couldn't make myself stop. In almost no time at all, Imogen and I were reduced to a laughing heap on the ground, and my eyes were starting to water.

_Yes,_ I thought. _This is going to be a wonderful family to grow up in…_


	68. Chapter 68

It was pouring rain the next evening while we stood at the bus stop, each of us with our own umbrella. Mrs. Lupin had put a spell on the luggage to keep the rain water from soaking through it (I'm sure it would have, if she had given it the opportunity). The water in the gutters and in the streets rushed by at such a rapid pace, I secretly feared that it would whisk me away if I accidentally slipped and fell. Such thoughts kept me as close to Remus as I could possibly get.

"It should be here any second now," Mr. Lupin said, looking down at his watch. "Thank you for seeing us off."

The sound of a blaring horn pierced the air, and when we turned we saw the headlights of the Knight Bus coming towards us before the large purple bus actually came into view through the thick curtain of rain. I had never ridden on the bus personally, but Jeff had mentioned it several times when he talked about his "escapades as a street urchin"; before he moved into the boarding house during our sixth year at Hogwarts. Apparently, the Knight Bus provided public transportation for witches and wizards; the Lupins were taking the bus to the train station in the next town over.

_That thing was going awful fast,_ I thought skeptically.

Once the bus screeched to a halt, the conductor stepped off to greet us. He was a lot younger than I had anticipated; around my age, even. His ears were large, and stuck out from his purple cap in a way that made them look like wings. His face was dotted lightly with acne.

"Hello ladies, gentlemen," he said to us, fixating on Remus for a moment. "Say, don't I know you from somewhere?"

"Um, I don't believe so," Remus mumbled. His eyes darted around nervously, refusing to give the young conductor their full attention.

"My son was a professor at Hogwarts for a brief period," Mrs. Lupin said proudly, as if Remus had held the position for years and retired with honors. "Perhaps you were one of his students?"

He shook his head, "Naah, school was never my sort of thing. But I swear, I've seen you before, somewhere… I'm sure it'll come to me later. It always does…"

Mr. Lupin cleared his throat, "Excuse me…"

"Shunpike," the conductor said. "Stan Shunpike, at your service."

"Mr. Shunpike," said Mr. Lupin. "Do you think you could help me carry the luggage onto the bus?"

"Certainly, sir," Stan said, jumping to Mr. Lupin's assistance.

"We'll write you as soon as we get to Manchester, to let you know we arrived safely," Mrs. Lupin told us.

"It was a pleasure meeting you," I said. "You can come visit whenever you like."

Mrs. Lupin sniffled, and in a sudden display of affection, tossed her umbrella aside and threw her arms open for an embrace. I was expecting the hug to be for me, and I wasn't sure if I should be offended or relieved when she pulled Remus into a tight, loving embrace. I gulped as I watched her umbrella float down the half-flooded streets.

"You're doing so well for yourself," she sobbed quietly. "I'm so proud of you."

Remus rubbed her back awkwardly, "Have a safe trip, Mother. I'll write soon."

"Come along, Imogen," Mr. Lupin said, tapping her on the shoulder. He held out his umbrella so it could provide protection for both of them. "Goodbye Remus, Violet. Take care."

"We will," I assured him, watching as the older couple crossed the stream of rainwater carefully. The bottom or Mrs. Lupin's long dress was soaked by the time they reached the bus, and Stan helped her board the contraption before it took off, so quickly that I just barely saw them wave goodbye to us.

Remus sighed with relief, so deeply that I wondered if he had been holding it in for their entire visit. Without a word, he started walking back towards the house, tugging me along after him. His strides were so long that I had to walk quickly to keep up. After I started panting with effort to keep up, he smiled apologetically and slowed his pace.

"I'm sorry," he said, rubbing the pad of his thumb over my hand.

"It's fine," I said. "I'm just getting out of shape."

He chuckled, "I meant about my parents. I kept meaning to ask you if you would like to meet them, but the timing just never seemed right. It just… it felt like it was a big step, and I wanted to make sure you were ready for it… Then they just decided to show up like that, without telling anyone."

I smiled, "I didn't mind; I really wanted to meet them."

"They're just so…" he trailed off, as if he couldn't come up with just the right word to describe his parents. "But I think they like you."

My smile grew; I was almost certain that I had won Mr. Lupin's approval, but it was difficult to read Mrs. Lupin, "Do you really think so?"

"Yes," he said, nodding to himself. "I think they were both really taken with you."

_And I don't think I have to worry about them finding out about the baby,_ I thought. _I just have to figure out how to tell you, Remus..._

"R-remus…" I mumbled, feeling my stomach twisting itself into a large knot. "Do you think… when we get home, could we talk?"

"Why?" he asked worriedly. "Is something wrong?"

"No," I answered quickly. "Not really… I just need to tell you something, that's all."

"Oh," he sighed, and I felt his grip on my hand tighten.

I could sense where his mind was wandering, and I instantly felt horrible. I should have just waited until we got to the house to even bring it up.

"It's nothing like what you're thinking," I promised him. I tried to catch his eyes for a reassuring smile, but they were focused on his sopping shoes. "I'm not… Remus, I'm n-not leaving you. It's nothing like that."

He didn't seem at all convinced, and the rest of the walk back home was utterly miserable. By the time we arrived, the rain had soaked into my socks, and my feet were starting to go numb. I saw Aria and Eddie walking down the sidewalk in the other direction, presumably for a date in one of the small cafes that were scattered about the main street. I thought about calling out to them, but I figured they would want to be left alone, so I followed Remus inside silently.

"Hey, you're back!" Jeff said happily as he wheeled Nana out of her room. She didn't look too thrilled about that. "Just in time; we were going to play cards together!"

"I have no interest in playing cards with _you,_" Nana said, crossing her arms. "Now take me back to my room! My radio program is on!"

"Isn't she sweet?" Jeff said, pinching her wrinkled cheek. "Would you like to join us?"

"You should defiantly join us!" Ashley yelled from the kitchen. "Moth is gonna make us cimmanin buns!"

"Don't you mean _cinnamon_ buns?" I called back.

"Yeah, that's what I said…" she returned, sounding quite confused.

"Thank you for the offer," said Remus. "But I believe Violet had something she wanted to talk to me about."

It was so tempting to tell him that it could wait; playing cards with Jeff and Ashley and Nana seemed like a wonderful distraction.

I shook my head, reluctant to refuse his invitation, "I'm sorry, Jeff. Maybe we can come when we're done talking."

Jeff smirked, "I'm sure you will; the two of you always do, right?"

It took me a few seconds to catch on to what he was getting at, and when I did I found myself blushing a little, "Jeffery!"

He snickered, "I'm sorry. You kids go take care of whatever it is you need to do. We'll be in the dining room if decide you want to join us."

"What was that all about?" Remus whispered to me as Jeff pushed Nana off into the other room, despite her protests.

"Nothing," I said. "Let's go up to the library; after being out in the cold, sitting by the fireplace sounds really nice."

"Alright," he sighed apprehensively. "Yes, that does sound nice."

_Don't be sad,_ I thought, grabbing on to one of his large hands with both of mine as I allowed him to lead me up the stairs. _Please don't be sad; I really think you'll be happy about this. You would be such a wonderful father…_

Because the temperature had dropped outside, the fireplace in the library was giving off heat. I sat down on the rug, removing my shoes and socks quickly. I stretched out my legs and rested my back against the sofa, wiggling my goes in the warmth of the fire.

Remus groaned as he sat down next to me, removing his own soaked shoes and socks. We sat quietly like that for the longest time, both of us waiting to start the conversation that we were so nervous about.

I jumped when I felt him start to move, and I watched with a tiny smile as he stretched out across the floor, resting his head in my lap.

"Hello," he said, looking up at me. He looked terribly handsome, with the shadows from the fireplace dancing across the scars on his face.

"Hi," I said, running my fingers through his hair. Gently, I scratched his scalp with my finger nails. "What brings you here this evening?"

"It's awful cold outside," he said, rolling over onto his side, so his face was pressed against my stomach. "I was hoping I could warm up some, if you don't mind."

I giggled, "I don't mind at all. You're always welcome here; I quite enjoy your company."

"You're very kind," he said, wrapping his arms around my waist. I could feel his nose poking into my stomach. It felt cold, even through the fabric of my shirt.

_I wonder if he knows,_ I thought, watching him intensely. His eyes were closed, and he looked so peaceful that, if I didn't know any better, I might have thought he was asleep. It was so intimate and beautiful, having him curled up in my lap like that; so close to our child. _I wonder if, somehow, on some sort of subconscious level, he knows about the baby._

I pushed his hair back, leaning forward to kiss his cheek, "Remus…"

I felt his grip on my waist tighten, so that it was almost uncomfortably tight, "Hmmm?"

I was glad I had waited to tell him; this moment was so perfect. Everything was just right. My stomach wasn't even acting up.

"I'm pregnant," I whispered into his ear.

I felt his body go ridged, and everything seemed so still that for a moment, I worried that maybe time had somehow stopped. He propped himself up on his elbows – so quickly and so suddenly that I barley had enough time to sit up again – and stared at me with an expression of pure disbelief.

"What?" he breathed, looking horrified.

_He's just shocked by the news,_ I told myself, as my stomach did one of its telltale flips. I swallowed, "I'm p-pregnant. I'm going to have a baby."

"Pregnant?" he repeated, moving so that he was sitting in front of me. "Is it mine?"

I could hardly believe my ears. Of all the possible responses, that was one I hadn't anticipated at all.

"Of course it's yours, Remus," I whimpered. "How can you ask me something like that?"

"I'm sorry," he said. "I…"

"You know how much I love you," I hiccupped, still struggling to keep my tears from breaking free, even though a few had escaped already. "It _can't_ be anyone else's… You _know_ it can't…"

"I know," he said. "Violet… Oh God, Violet; this is terrible."

"T-t-terrible?!" I stammered. "I know we d-didn't plan this, but-"

"How did this happen?" he demanded, looking quite furious. The shadows that had made him look handsome only seconds before now made him look horrifying.

"W-we just… weren't v-v-very careful," I sniffled.

He buried his face in his hands, "I thought you were taking some sort of contraceptive potion! You're so smart, Violet… I _know_ you could have made something like that. You're so smart…"

"I just… didn't think about it," I admitted, feeling unbelievably stupid. I'd never even considered something like a contraceptive potion. It never even crossed my mind that I would eventually get pregnant until it happened. Remus was right; I was supposed to be smart. I should have thought about something like that. I should have planned ahead.

"I've j-just been so c-caught up in everything," I said. "These last f-few months have been so wonderful…"

_But that's over now, I suppose,_ I thought, finally giving in to the urge to caress my stomach. _After this, things just aren't going to be the same._

"I'm sorry," Remus sobbed, and I realized for the first time that he was crying. "I'm so sorry, Violet. I shouldn't have yelled at you; this is my fault."

"Remus-"

"I should have had more self-control," he said. "I should have just left you alone."

I shook my head frantically, "No-"

"You're so young…" he said helplessly. "And look what I've done; I've spoiled you! I've taken away your future."

"You haven't taken anything from me," I said, folding my knees as I scooted closer to him. "It's just as much my fault as it is yours. All of those things you said about me before are true; you can't take all the blame for this."

"Someone like me has no business reproducing," he continued, as if he hadn't heard me at all. "I've been trying to tell my parents that for years. The risk is too great."

I forced myself to smile, "I think you'd be a terrific father."

"Terrific," he scoffed. "Terrific indeed…"

I gulped, "But-"

"It'll be like me," he said. "I just know it!"

"That didn't even occur to me," I confessed. "_Can_ lycanthropy be passed from parent to child?"

"I don't know," he said with frustration. "My kind don't usually breed; there isn't a lot of information on the subject. It's incredibly selfish of me, to risk passing my condition on to an innocent child. Not to mention that doing so has put _you_ in serious danger."

"But there's a possibility it won't have lycanthropy at all," I said, trying to sound hopeful.

"Even if, by some miracle, the child isn't infected, I can't imagine the sort of life it will have, with me as a father," he said. "It will always be ashamed of me. It will have a miserable life."

"Why?" I asked, moving closer still, so that we were almost touching. "Why does it have to be like that?"

"I'm a werewolf, Violet," he said. "How could our child _not_ be ashamed of me? I don't understand how _you_ can be with me without feeling ashamed."

"Because I love you," I said, reaching up to caress his face. "I don't care about what other people think about you or our relationship or anything else. And I'm sure our child will love you too."

"But… what if it _is_ like me?" he asked. "I don't know if I could live with myself, knowing how painful the affliction is, and knowing that I could have stopped it…"

I knew I wouldn't have a good answer. It suddenly seemed like such a complicated situation; I had never considered what would happen if the baby inherited lycanthropy. The transformations were horrible for Remus, and he was a grown man. It would be horrible for an infant to go through something like that.

"We'll still love it," I said finally. "And it isn't just the two of us. It'll have Aria and Sirius, and Ashley, and Jeff and Penelope… I'm sure your parents will be thrilled when they hear the news."

The corner of his mouth turned up, "They'll be ecstatic, I'm sure."

"See?" I said, playing with his collar. "Our child will have a loving family, werewolf or not."

He leaned forward and kissed me softly, "Do you know if it's a boy or girl?"

I shook my head, "No, I don't."

"Right," he said. "You can't be too far along; I never would have guessed that you're with child."

"I just found out a few days ago, myself," I said. "I meant to tell you then, but then your parents showed up… I got nervous."

"Thank you for not telling them," he said, finally smiling at me. "I think that wouldn't have done much to help our situation… Violet?"

"Hmmm?" I said, resting my forehead on his shoulder.

"How do _you_ feel about this?" he asked, netting his fingers in my hair.

"I'm terrified," I said honestly. "But, at the same time, I'm really happy."

"But… you're so _young_," he said, kissing the side of my face.

"Actually, I read somewhere that eighteen is a good time to have a baby," I said. "I mean, as far as the human body being in the right condition for delivery."

_Delivery,_ I thought. _Oh jeez… I wonder if I can skip that part…_

"But do you want to have a child?" asked Remus.

"I want to have _your_ child," I said, hugging him tightly. "I'll admit I was scared when I first found I was pregnant, but when I picture us as a family, I get that warm, fuzzy feeling inside, ya know? What about you?"

"It's such a selfish notion for me," he said after some consideration. "Having a child with you… I'm so selfish when it comes to you…"

"I don't think you're selfish," I said.

"I can't believe you're pregnant…" he breathed. "I'm going to be a father…"

He held onto me tightly, sobbing quietly into my hair. I clutched on to the front of his shirt, nuzzling and kissing his neck and jaw line. I didn't know what he was thinking; I couldn't tell if he was upset or overjoyed, but I wanted him to know how much I cared about him, regardless.

"It feels wrong, to be happy about this," he whispered, connecting his lips to mine for a moment. "But… I am, I think."

"You should be happy," I said, closing my eyes. "You're going to be a father, Remus. And you deserve to be happy."

He kissed me again, "I love you, Violet; very much. I'm going to help you out as much as I can, I promise."

"I know you will," I said.

"And I'm going to start looking for a job again," said Remus, sounding quite determined. "I know I haven't been searching quite as much lately-"

"You don't need to worry about finding a job," I said sternly. "We bring in enough money through the boarding house. Sure, we may have to tighten our belts a little, but we'd still be fine."

"I want to help support our child," he said, pushing my bangs back so he could kiss my forehead. "It wouldn't feel right if I didn't. I'm tired of taking advantage of your hospitality, anyway."

"If you really want to find work, I'm sure you can find something," I said, but in my head I knew that it would be difficult. He had already been turned down so many times…

"We'll be able to make this work," I determined. "Yeah, everything is going to be alright."

*

I secretly hate myself for doing author's notes on two chapters in a row, but I want to say thanks to all of my readers for being so kind and patient. And special thanks to those offering encouragement concerning my university transfer and my friend's condition. You really brightened my week.

Are you excited for chapter sixty-nine? I am!

Love,  
Komaki


	69. Chapter 69

"So, let me get this straight," Sirius said, wagging his finger at us disapprovingly. "I missed a visit from the Lupins, _and_ Violet got pregnant? How come you people can't be exciting when I'm around?"

"Well, technically, Violet got pregnant at some point when you were still out and about," Jeff reminded him, sounding like a child who was being punished and trying to get out of it. "So… I mean, in a way, we _all_ missed that-"

"You wouldn't have been able to talk to my parents, anyway," said Remus. "They still think you're a cold blooded murderer, remember?"

"I could have seen them as a dog," Sirius pouted. He looked like his old self now, though his hair looked a little darker where Jeff and the girls had dyed his gray hairs black. He was recovering from his stay in Azkaban, as well. He was putting on weight, and seemed to have boundless energy. "I _love_ John and Imogen. They're so… _eccentric_!"

"I'm sure you'll get another chance to mess with them before too long," said Remus. "As soon as they find out they're going to be grandparents, I'm sure they'll be able to dream up tons of excuses to visit."

"Does your dad know, Violet?" Aria asked.

I sighed, "I sent him an owl yesterday. He hasn't sent me anything back yet."

"It's his loss, Vi-Vi," Jeff insisted. "Besides, even without him, your lovechild will have _five_ loving grandparents."

"How do you figure five?" Sirius asked.

Jeff rolled his eyes, "It's simple math, really. Aria, Ashley, and myself are three, and then John and Imogen are another two. Two plus three equals five."

"Oh, of course," Sirius said. "My mistake."

"I can't help but envy this kid already," said Aria, smiling her perfect smile as she stared at my stomach. "It's going to be smothered with so much love, it's almost ridiculous."

"Remus, you need to take your potion soon," I remembered suddenly. "Would you like me to get some ready for you?"

"I think I would rather take it after dinner," he said. "I've been noticing that it's a little easier on my stomach if I eat something first."

I nodded, "Alright, just don't forget."

He grinned, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him. "You're going to make such a wonderful mother; you're very tentative."

"Vi-Vi has always had a nose for detail," said Jeff proudly. "She gets that from my side of the family."

I laughed, "Reminding Remus to take his potion is a lot easier than raising a child, I'm sure."

He pulled me up into his lap for a quick kiss, "But still…"

"Have you noticed," I heard Sirius 'whisper' to Aria. "That the closer we get to a full moon, the harder it is for Moony to keep his hands off of that poor girl?"

Aria snickered, "I hadn't noticed. But I think I'll start paying more attention…"

"Shut up," I snarled at them, hugging Remus tightly. I had noticed that, myself, but I decided not to mention it; that would only be fuel for their teasing.

It probably wouldn't have made much difference. Aria and Sirius ignored my demand, diving right into another one of their tirades.

"Oh, Violet," Sirius said, grabbing on to one of her hands. "I have such a hard time controlling my primal instincts when you're near me."

"It's alright, my love," Aria said melodramatically. "My desire for _you_ is almost as strong."

"I feel like a dirty old man," Sirius confessed, and for a brief second I wondered why he couldn't impersonate Remus this well when we had gone wand shopping. His guilty expression was almost perfect. "I get a little aroused whenever I see you."

"Sirius," Remus hissed, tightening his hold on me. His cheeks were glowing like cherries. "If you don't stop, I swear-"

"Oh, we're just teasing," he said, winking at Aria. "Lighten up a little."

"You two are getting better," said Jeff. "Especially you, Ari; you're portrayal of Vi-Vi is simply award-winning!"

"Oh, you flatter me, Jeff," said Aria. "I would be nothing without my costar."

The doorbell went off; the low ring echoed throughout the house. Without being prompted, Sirius began to transform into a dog as Aria volunteered to answer the door.

"I got it!" Ashley declared, almost tripping as she darted through the living room. "I got it! I got it!"

I chuckled, _She's in a good mood…_

"Oh, it's you," I heard Ashley sigh, and I heard a loud, booming voice laugh as it entered the house.

"Ashley!" he said. "Good to see you again! Had a drink with your father a few weeks ago; now _there's_ a judge who knows how to throw back a few! All those powdered wig-wearing pansies should be more like your old man."

I groaned, _Wonderful…_

"G'day everyone!" Mundungus Fletcher greeted as he stomped into the living room. Over his shoulder, I saw Ashley retreating upstairs, and _Snuffles_ was able to escape into the kitchen unnoticed. "Are you ready for the Quidditch World Cup?"

"I think my uncle is the only one going with you," I said, hoping I sounded somber enough to convince him that I was upset, when in reality the thought of sitting with him in those crowded stands with hundreds of drunk wizards didn't sound appealing at all.

"We're just going to listen to it on the radio," said Aria.

"Are you placing any bets?" Remus inquired.

"Of course I am," he snorted, not elaborating on his master plan, which – knowing Mr. Fletcher – probably included something illegal.

"Dung, is that you?" Uncle Jack hollered from the kitchen.

"Of course it's me!" he yelled back. "Who else would it be?"

"At last," Uncle Jack said, bursting out of the kitchen. Each of his chubby cheeks was decorated with a bright green shamrock. "Let's go, or we'll miss our Portkey."

_I hope they don't get into too much trouble,_ I thought, remembering the World Cup from four years ago. Uncle Jack had stumbled into the living room three days later, with no memory of what happened. I was lucky enough to attend the World Cup _before_ that one with my uncle; that was the match that made me decide I wanted to play Quidditch when I started school.

"I'm going to get something to drink, I think," I said, looking up at Remus. "Would you like something?"

"No," he yawned. "I think I'd fancy a nap, though. I'm worn out…"

"Then go get some rest," I said, pushing his hair back so I could kiss his forehead. "This is the part of the cycle where you wear out easy."

"Awww, isn't that adorable, Ari?" Jeff squealed.

She nodded, "I can't wait to see them with a baby. It'll be so fun to watch."

I rolled my eyes, but I found myself smiling as I slipped into the kitchen.

"Get that steak away from me, you idiot," Lutie was screaming at Sirius.

"It's supposed to help with the swelling," he said. "Trust me, I know what I'm talking about."

"I've never heard that before," she said. "You're just trying to trick me."

He growled, "Quit squirming around, damn it!"

It was quite the sight, Lutie sitting at the table in her hideous maroon school uniform, with Sirius standing over her, one of Buckbeak's raw steaks in his hand. I had to look past the awkwardness before I noticed her black eye.

"Lutie!" I gasped. "What happened to your face?"

They stopped struggling, and Sirius sat down in his chair, placing the meat on the table in front of him. The eager look on his face suggested that he hadn't heard the full story, either.

"I got into a fight at school," she said, looking down at her black dress shoes.

"On the first day? Lutie…" I sighed, rubbing my temple with frustration. "Why did you-"

"It wasn't my fault," she said, crossing her arms. "That Robert Billings was asking for it."

"Oh, he was?" I said dryly.

"Yeah, he was," said Lutie. "So I punched him in the throat."

"Awesome," Sirius snickered, holding his hand up for a high-five. Lutie smirked, returning the gesture with enthusiasm that was unusual for her.

"No, that is _not_ awesome," I said, giving his shoulder a good swat. "Look what happened to her!"

"Don't worry, that one to the eye was the only _real_ hit he got in," Lutie assured me. "After I recovered from this one, I gave him a few good kicks and he was on the ground crying like a baby."

"That's horrible," I said, my stomach turning. Suddenly, all the students I had ever seen hexing each other in the halls of Hogwarts seemed quite civil.

Sirius whistled, "Damn… Think you broke anything?"

"I think I might have fucked up his jaw pretty good," said Lutie, grinning proudly.

"Stop encouraging her!" I snapped, slapping him again. "She shouldn't be fighting in school!"

"Oww," he grumbled, rubbing his arm. "You know, beating the crap out of me and then preaching nonviolence to the girl is very hypocritical of you, Violet."

"Oh… Go feed that bloody Hippogriff," I said, unable to think of another response. "Before that steak bleeds all over the place."

He scowled at me, but he listened, grabbing the meat and stomping out to the back yard.

"Violet… I had to do it," Lutie said, suddenly looking a lot less proud of herself. "You should have heard the things he was saying. Normally people just let him talk his shit, but I wasn't gonna put up with _this_."

"What was he saying that was so awful you had to beat the poor kid?" I asked, moving into Sirius's chair.

"He was telling everyone that you're a slut," she said, averting her gaze.

I gulped, "What? _Me?_"

"You know how people in this town can't mind their own business," she said. "Robert was saying that his brother Liam sold you a pregnancy test, and that you were fucking the transvestite. So I told him that was BS, and then Mary Rider said she'd seen you with an older guy walking around holding hands. So Robert says he wouldn't be surprised if you were screwing both of them, so I let him have it."

"Lutie…" I said, touched by her loyalty. "You didn't have to do that. I really don't care about what the people in town think about me; I don't even really know them anymore. And now you're in trouble."

"I'm only suspended for a few days," she said, brushing it off as if it were nothing.

"Do you fight at school a lot?" I asked.

She shook her head, "Usually I'm smart enough to wait until school's out. Off school property, the teachers can't really do much about it."

I realized that, since I had started my education at Hogwarts, I had become disconnected from what was going on in Lutie's life outside the house. I felt horrible for never considering asking her how school was going, or if she had any friends…

"Are we done?" she asked. "I want to go read."

"Hmm? Oh, yeah," I said. "Yeah, sure."

"Are we still listening to that… whatever it is everyone was so excited about tonight?" she asked.

"You mean the Quidditch World Cup?" I said. "Yeah, as far as I know. Why? Did you want to listen too?"

"I didn't say I _wanted_ to," said Lutie. "But I _might,_ if I get tired of reading or something."

"We'll save you a seat," I said, winking at her. Her face flushed as she stalked up to her room.

At last, I was able to get my glass of water. I went through the small list of things that I needed to do while I sipped, and decided I could kill some time by fixing the cardigan Remus had ripped chasing Buckbeak around, attempting to rescue Mrs. Lupin's hat from its inevitable fate. I placed the empty cup in the sink and slipped upstairs.

I tiptoed into the room, closing the door behind me quietly. Remus was curled up under the blankets, looking like a large lump in the middle of the mattress. He moved a little as I entered the room, groaning softly.

_Poor Remus,_ I thought as I watched him. _He always gets so tired during this time of the month… Huh, I bet Sirius and their other friends used to tease him about that. No wait, I'm sure Sirius still makes jokes about that._

Trying my best to be quiet, I went over to the dresser and grabbed the sweater I was going to be mending. On the desk, I had already set out an older shirt I was going to cut a patch from, along with a pair of scissors and the sewing kit. I had already tried to sew it up once before, but… I got distracted.

"Violet," Remus mumbled. "Is that you?"

"Yes," I whispered. "I was going to patch up your sweater; I can go back downstairs if I'd be bothering you."

"Of course you wouldn't be bothering me," he said, pulling down the comforter to peek at me. His eyes were half opened, and the dark circles under them were visible even in the dim room. "You can sit over here on the bed, if you like."

"Um, o-okay," I said, smiling as I sat down on the edge of the bed. "But if I disturb you, tell me and I'll go."

"You're not going to disturb me," he said, stretching out a little, scooting closer as he curled back up. "And I told you I would take care of that."

"I _want_ to do it," I said, looking over my shoulder to smile at him, even though I knew he couldn't see me.

"I'm the one that ripped it," he said.

"I know that," I said as I started cutting into the shirt. "But I like doing stuff like this for you."

"You're so cute," he teased, nudging me with his foot. When I glanced back over, I saw him smirking at me playfully.

_Pay attention to what you're doing,_ I thought, instantly returning as much of my attention back to my task as possible. _Or you'll end up taking off a finger with these scissors. _

"I just… you d-don't have to do everything by yourself, ya know?" I said, holding up the freshly-cut patch to make sure it was close enough to a perfect square. The faded, flannel shirt I had cut it from slid off of my lap and onto the floor.

"Thank goodness for that," he said, scooting closer still, until he was curled up next to me.

I smiled, "You don't need to worry about me, Remus; if you're tired, rest."

"I'm exhausted," he yawned, nuzzling my side. When his mustache rubbed against the strip of skin between my jeans and my shirt, my whole body shivered. "But I couldn't _possibly_ get a wink of sleep with you sitting on the bed, teasing me like this."

"I think Sirius was onto something earlier," I said, closing my left eye as I threaded the needle. "You tend to get more and more… _affectionate_ as the full moon gets closer."

Remus gulped, "Well…"

I paused mid-stitch, "Remus… _is_ he onto something?"

"I thought you would have noticed it a long time ago, honestly," he said, sounding quite humiliated. "I mean… he's absolutely right…"

"You don't have to be embarrassed," I said, putting down the garment so I could run my fingers through his hair. "You can't help it."

"I thought for sure you would have picked up on it," he sighed. "Do you remember that day in my office, when you dropped that tea cup and cut your hand?"

I nodded, "Yes, I do. You fixed up my cut, and then… you got really upset, and asked me to leave."

"I… Violet, you have no idea how much that scared me," he said. "It took everything I had to stop myself from, er..."

I leaned down to kiss the top of his head, "I _wanted_ you to kiss me, you know."

"I probably would have done more than just kiss you," he admitted. "That's why I was so flustered; my body almost got ahead of my mind. That hadn't happened to me for a long time."

I swallowed, "Oh…"

"It was the day before the full moon," said Remus. "And you were so tempting…"

I smiled, picking up his cardigan so I could finish patching it, "It's so hard to believe how far we've come since then, isn't it?"

"Yes," he said, laughing quietly. "If someone had told me a year ago about everything that would happen – that the two of us would fall in love, that Padfoot would be back in my life again, and that I'd be _happy_ – I wouldn't have believed a word of it."

"I know what you mean," I said, making the last few stitches. "I thought I'd never be more to you than just another student, and now… I'm… we're…"

"We're going to have a baby?" he finished for me.

"Yeah," I sighed, putting my finished work aside. "We're having a baby."

I kissed him quickly before I stood up to put my things away, hanging the fixed sweater in the closet and putting the sewing kit back in the drawer. Remus stretched out again, resting his back against the headboard. His hair was disheveled, and it was easy to see the wolf in him when he yawned. I had to force my gaze away from him, reminding myself that he was weary and probably wanted to be left alone.

"Please don't leave," he said when I started making my way towards the door.

"But you're tired," I said, wandering back to the bed.

"It doesn't matter," he said, wrapping his arms around me. I curled up next to him – it was the one place in the world where I fit perfectly. "I want to enjoy the time we have left together; before the baby's born and you get bored of me."

"That's silly; I'll never get bored of you," I said, playing with his hair. "It is _far_ more likely that I'll grow to resent you after I experience the pain and agony of labor."

"Wonderful," he chuckled. "That's a much better alternative. I'd rather you be openly hostile than bored stiff."

"And that's not even the best part," I continued, grinning broadly. I couldn't help but feel like Jeff, Aria, and Ashley would be proud of me. "I'll probably let myself go, as well. I'll get really fat and I'll stop shaving my legs… Oh, and of course I'll turn into a frigid, insufferable nag."

"I can almost believe most of that," he said, tickling the back of my ear playfully. "But I think I have a few tricks up my sleeve that'll keep you're crankiness in check."

"Oh yeah?" I said. "Like what?"

"This," he breathed before he kissed me, gently cradling my face in his coarse hands. The taste of his lips suggested that, he had been nibbling on chocolate, and I melted just as quickly. My face felt warm, and one of his hands eventually found its way to my lower back, where it slipped under my shirt. His fingers rubbed my skin sensually, and I realized that – even though he was just teasing when he said it – that Remus had been right; there was no way I could stay irritated when he kissed me like that. Before I knew it, I was under the blankets with him. My clothes, on the other hand, were in a messy pile on the floor.

"I really do have an awful tendency to take advantage of you," Remus whispered to me.

I hugged him tightly, "It would be awful, if I didn't have the same tendency."

"Thank goodness," he said, and his mouth was on mine again.

I quickly lost track of time. It seemed as if we had only been in bed together for a few moments when someone knocked on our door, presumably to tell us that it was time for dinner. I opened my mouth to stutter a reply, but Remus – quite curtly – was quick to tell whomever it was that we were busy.

"Violet," he said, just as I was starting to doze off. "Can I… I need to talk to you about something."

"Hmmm?" I yawned, rolling onto my back so I could stretch out my arms.

"Do you think we should get married?"

I paused, "W-what?"

"Do you… think we should get married?" he repeated slowly.

My heart leapt into my throat, and I felt my stomach start to turn. I had entertained the fantasy of being his wife, of course. Remus would have made such a wonderful husband, but…

"Remus, I don't w-want you to feel ob-bliged to marry me because I'm p-p-pregnant," I stuttered.

"That's not… I mean, that's part of it," he said. "But… I don't know; your uncle and I had a talk-"

"Uncle Jack put you up to this?" I questioned, feeling my heart start to grow heavy.

"It was before we conceived," he explained frantically. "Actually, it was shortly after I started living with you."

_Oh wonderful,_ I thought, having a sudden urge to punch my uncle in his fat mouth.

Apparently, Remus could sense my anger, because he quickly jumped to Uncle Jack's defense. "He didn't pressure me or anything, Violet. He just… wanted to make sure my intentions were pure, I suppose, and we discussed the possibility or marriage-"

"Did you discuss the possibility that I wouldn't _want_ to get married?" I snapped.

I regretted it instantly. I had never seen him look that sad; like I had broken his heart. I felt like the most horrible person in the world.

"No, Remus…" I said, feeling myself start to tear up. "I didn't mean that, you _know_ I didn't mean that. I love you…" I trailed off, tilting his face towards mine. "I'd love to be your wife, Remus, if you'd have me."

"I know," he said, smiling a little. "But we _can't_ get married; legally, anyway. That's why I've been so hesitant to bring it up."

"W-why not?" I asked.

"It's part of those damned anti-werewolf laws," he scowled. "I brought that up when I spoke to your uncle. I could buy you a ring, and we could have a ceremony, but our union would never be recognized. We could even be arrested for it, I don't really know how strict that law is; I never thought I'd be in this situation…"

"That's so unfair," I sobbed, burying my face in his chest. "It shouldn't be any of their business…"

"I know," he said, rubbing my back softly. "But I thought I should tell you about the law. It wouldn't be fair to _you_ if I didn't."

I laughed nervously, "Remus, do you even _want_ to marry me?"

"You're very precious to me, Violet," he said, holding me tightly. "But I don't see the point in getting married if we would have to hide it. And… I'm happy with the way things are now. Besides," he pushed my hair back and kissed my forehead, smiling at me fondly. "We already live like husband and wife, don't we?"

"Y-yeah," I said, smiling back at him in spite of my intense blushing. "We do, don't we?"

"Kissing, cuddling," he mused. "Making love in the middle of the day…"

"Vi-Vi Ashley screamed, pounding on the door loudly. "Violet!"

"Vi-Vi!" Jeff yelled. "Wake up!"

"She's busy," Remus called, mischief dancing in his eyes.

Ashley must not have cared about how busy I was; she burst through the door, looking panicked and upset. Jeff followed, and the sight of him with rollers in his hair and some sort of green cream on his face would have been enough to make me giggle if the circumstances had been different. I let out a yelp, and my face felt like it was on fire as I latched on to Remus. He pulled our blanket up over my shoulders quickly, something I was very thankful for.

"Oh-ho-_ho_," Jeff cooed, placing his delicate hands on his hips. "When you said 'she's busy', you meant that she's _busy_."

"Jeffey!" Ashley said, giving him a playful slap on the arm. "You shouldn't tease our horny daughter; she's already clinging to poor Lu-Lu with embarrassment."

"Can we help you with something?" Remus asked. I wasn't sure whose face was redder.

"Oh, that's right," Ashley said calmly, before bursting into another fit of hysterics. "Violet! You need to come downstairs right away!"

"It's an emergency!" Jeff added.

"What's going on?" I groaned.

"Jacky's back from the match," said Jeff. "And it looks like he's really beat up."

I rolled my eyes, "He probably just got into another drunken fight with-"

"No, no!" said Ashley. "He's really hurt! There were Death Eaters there!"

*

Author's Notes – **Important**

Okay, I promise, after this I'll leave you guys alone for a bit. I'll fade back into the background and just let you enjoy the show.

First of all – HAPPY CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE! We've come a long way, and Jeffery Flanders is very happy about this milestone. In celebration of this, I'm introducing you to **a new story – a sort of prequel **to _Waiting for the Moon to Rise_. This story follows Remus Lupin from the end of the first wizarding war until he takes up his post as DADA teacher at Hogwarts. It's called _Remus Lupin's Lost Years_, and I encourage you to go check it out – I think these two would be fun to read together, since they're sister stories. The first couple of chapters are already up!

Second of all – there is a new baby names poll on my profile – go vote, or message me with more name ideas!

Love,  
Komaki


	70. Chapter 70

By the time I had changed into my clothes and rushed down to the kitchen, my hands were shaking like crazy, and my cheeks were stained with tears. I nearly slipped on the kitchen tile as I burst through the swinging door, and I heard Ashley yelp in the background when the door flew back and hit her in the forehead. However, her screaming only sounded like a faint buzzing in the background; Uncle Jack had soaked up all my attention.

He looked awful. The massive bruises made him look twice as swollen as usual. His clothing was a burnt, tattered mess, and he was cursing as Penelope looked him over. Lutie, Aria, and Sirius watched the scene intently.

"Uncle Jack!" I gasped.

He glanced over, looking quite surprised to see me. "Violet! I told those two not to bother you if you were asleep…"

"Oh, they weren't sleeping," Jeff said, wagging his eyebrows.

"Shut up," I hissed, feeling my face grow red.

"Penny, I got a bump," Ashley whined. "Can you look at mine, too?"

"In just a minute," Penelope said politely as she continued her checkup. "Your arm is going to have to be mended. You really should go to a hospital, Mr. Carroll."

"Er, I'd rather not," he said apprehensively.

"Why?" Lutie asked, gulping down some Butterbeer that I knew her mother would not approve of. "You look like shit."

"They'll expect some sort of explanation," he said, wincing as Penelope prodded his arm, which looked mangled and covered with blood. "And I er, I would rather not disclose my _exact_ whereabouts during the time of the attack."

"In other words," I said, my worry transforming into frustration now that I knew he was alright. "You and Mr. Fletcher were up to no good."

"Violet," he said, reaching over to pat me on the shoulder. That close to him, I could smell the alcohol on his breath. "Don't think ill of your old uncle. We were just having a little fun; there was no harm in it-"

"No harm in it?" I interrupted. "Look at you!"

"That was not my – nor Mr. Fletcher's – doing," he said, trying to sound dignified despite the pain. "We were all having a perfectly wonderful time until those Death Eaters showed up."

"Death Eaters," Remus repeated. It was the first time he had spoken; until then I wasn't even sure if he had followed after us. "So it's true, then…"

"How many were there?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"At least a dozen, as far as I could see," Uncle Jack lamented. "They torched everything, smoke was everywhere. It was so hard to see; it's possible that there were even more. One of them got a hold of me…"

My stomach flipped, "How awful…"

"He caught me by surprise," Uncle Jack said. "If he had dueled me like a man, he wouldn't have left a scratch. I was lucky Dung was there to save my ass this time. Not that he doesn't owe me in the first place…"

"So you're alright, then?" I asked.

"I'm fine," he said, smiling to reveal a missing tooth. "There really was no need to disturb you tonight."

"I thought she might want to know," Jeff said sheepishly. "You are her family, after all…"

"Can you look at me now?" Ashley asked impatiently.

"Just another second…" Penny said, wrapping my uncle's wrecked arm with a simple wave of her wand. Despite the tired look in her eyes, she gracefully slid over to Ashley and examined the new welt on her forehead, as kind as ever. "There doesn't appear to be any permanent damage. I'll get some ice for you, as well."

Uncle Jack laughed, "How about the three of us, eh Ashley, Lutie? We're a regular battered, beaten, bruised trio."

"Swell," Lutie grumbled.

"Wow, alliteration and a bad pun," I said, collapsing into the last empty chair. "That's almost too many literary devices for one evening."

"I didn't mean for that to be a pun," said Lutie.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked, placing his hands on my shoulders.

I tilted my head back and smiled at him, "Of course."

"That is so _you_," Aria teased, and I could tell by the slight slur in her speech that she had been drinking as well (it _was_ the evening of the World Cup, so such a thing was to be expected). "Lutie's got a black eye, Death Eaters beat Uncle Jack to a bloody pulp-"

"I hit my head," Ashley reminded her.

"And you're worried about Violet," she finished. "Isn't that cute?"

"Now Ari," Sirius said, a smirk spreading across his face. "Violet seems to be bruised herself. There, have a look at her neck."

Aria leaned closer to me for a moment, jumping back with surprise almost immediately, "Hickey! Hickey!"

"Where?" Jeff asked. "I wanna see it!"

"Leave me alone," I said, my face burning as I covered my neck with my hands. "I don't have a hickey."

"Then why are you covering your neck?" Aria asked.

"Because…" I trailed off, failing to come up with a decent explanation. I knew it was there; Remus had left it there less than an hour before. Reluctantly, I folded my hands in my lap, allowing Jeff, Aria, and Ashley to investigate my mark.

"Goodness, Lu-Lu, this thing is huge," Ashley chuckled. "What were you trying to do, eat her?"

"Nice going, Moony," Sirius said, offering his friend a high-five. However, when I looked at Remus, he seemed just as flustered as I was. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but no words came out.

Lutie wrinkled her nose as she finished off her Butterbeer, "Why the hell is that so cool?"

Jeff cleared his throat, "Little Lutie, a hickey is a very intimate way of showing affection to one's lover, whether you're giving or receiving."

Ashley and Aria both giggled.

"The neck is one of the most vulnerable parts of the human body," Jeff went on, unfazed by their laughter. "When you allow your lover access to a sensitive part of your body like that, it's like saying _I trust you._ And for the person giving the hickey… well, that part's just fun. Right, Lu-Lu?"

"Mr. Lupin," Uncle Jack said, before Remus got the chance to stammer out a nervous reply. "I need to have a word with you."

I gulped, _Why would he get mad now? He knows we've been sleeping together; I'm pregnant for goodness sake!_

"Yes, sir?" Remus said, sounding quite frightened.

"Violet tells me you've been seeking employment again," he said, and I was so relieved that I couldn't help but let out the breath I had been holding.

"Um… yes," he said, his voice relaxing. "I have been looking."

"Have you had any luck?"

"Well… no, not yet," Remus admitted. "But I'm not going to stop looking until I find paid work."

"You don't have to do that," I told him. "With the rent money the boarding house brings in, we'll be fine."

"What kind of man would I be if I didn't support my child?" Remus asked. "And don't forget; I'm the one who brought Padfoot here. You can't take on any new boarders with him living here."

The look Sirius's face suggested that such a thing had never occurred to him.

"Even so, we'd be able to pull through," I said, hoping to ease both of their worries. "We'd have to go without a little, but-"

"But I don't want you to go without," Remus said sternly. "I've had to go without my whole life, and I don't want that for you or our child."

"I think I may have a solution to your problem," Uncle Jack said, smirking like a cat as he leaned forward. "How would you like to come work for me, Lupin?"

"W-work for you?" he stuttered, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Why not?" Uncle Jack asked. "You're the father of my niece's child; I think that's enough to make you part of our family. We're shorted handed, and with my arm the way it is, I don't know how useful I'll be for the next few weeks… months…"

"Six to eight weeks," Penelope said. "Since you refuse to go to St. Mungo's to have your bones mended."

"No, you don't want me," said Remus. "I don't know anything about working with money; I've never had any money to learn with-"

Uncle Jack laughed at this, "I'll teach you, then. You're smart, you'll catch on."

"And I'm… sick," he said. "I won't be able to work for a several days each month-"

"I understand your condition, and I'm more than willing to make accommodations," said Uncle Jack. "And if you're working for me, you won't have to lie about your condition."

Remus smiled, "I… I don't know what to say…"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, take the job," Sirius snapped. "You're looking for work, you get offered a job, and what do you do? You give him a list of reasons not to hire you!"

Remus shot Sirius a brief glare, "I would love to work for you, sir, if it isn't too much trouble."

Everyone erupted into whoops and cheers as the two men shook hands, except for Lutie, who escaped at the first signs of loud noise and excess amounts of happiness.

I was happy for him – really, I was – but I couldn't help but feel that my heart was only half in it when I clapped. I knew that this was what Remus wanted, but I had grown used to having him at home during the day. Adjusting to this new lifestyle would not be easy.

"Here you go," Penny said, handing Jack and Ashley the ice packs she had prepared. "Congratulations, Professor Lupin."

_I'm not your Professor anymore,_ I heard his voice say in my head, but Remus only smiled and said, "Thank you, Miss Clearwater."

After a brief recap of the Quidditch World Cup – in which Ireland had beaten Bulgaria 170 to 160 – everyone retired to their rooms. Aria, whom I thought was only a bit tipsy, required my help scaling the staircase and locating her bedroom.

"Thanks, Vi-Vi," she said, giving me a very sloppy kiss on the cheek. "I'm gonna sleep this off…"

"Goodnight, Ari," I said, wiping her saliva off of my face as I left, shutting the door behind me.

"What a night…" I sighed as I returned to my bedroom, leaning against the door for support.

"It isn't over yet," Remus said from his spot on the bed, inviting me to join him by lifting the comforter. With the blankets lifted, I could see that he removed his shirt and pants, leaving him with only his underwear. I scurried over; the thought of curling up for a good night's sleep was almost as tempting as the man I would be sharing it with.

I got a good look at him before he got to business. The bags under his eyes seemed much larger, and everything about his appearance seemed sick and weak. Even his kisses were a little sluggish.

"Remus, you look exhausted," I said, gently running my hands through his hair while he kissed my neck. "How can you possibly be thinking of sex at a time like this?"

"I know you're right…" he groaned, collapsing onto me. "I just... I can't help myself when it comes to you… And…"

"And?" I prompted, when his pause drug on long enough to make me uncomfortable.

"I don't think I could sleep even if I wanted to. _Death Eaters,_ Violet," he said, tightening his hold on me. "First at that party earlier this summer, and again tonight…"

"You're worried, aren't you?" I asked, kissing the top of his head.

"Of course I'm worried," he said, his voice quivering. "I mean, that first time, it was a private party. Now, they're showing themselves in public. They're attacking muggle borns in the open! It's just like before!"

"Shhhh, it's alright," I coaxed, stroking his brown-grey hair with my trembling hands. I wanted to be calm for him; I wanted him to feel like everything would be alright. I couldn't stop myself from shaking. The thought of large groups of very powerful wizards coming after muggle borns – like myself, Penny, or my Uncle – was utterly terrifying.

"What if Wormtail somehow found Voldemort?" Remus said, sitting up in bed. "What if he _is_ growing stronger? What if…"

_What if Voldemort comes back?_ I finished in my head. The thought was enough to make my stomach turn itself inside-out. I had only been a small child during the days of Lord Voldemort, one of the most feared dark wizards of all time. Then, I had no idea _I_ was magical; my only connection to the wizarding world was Uncle Jack. In those days, he never spoke openly with me about the war, but I could tell something was going on. Something that worried him. He never told me the whole story until after my mother had been killed.

We sat like that for a while, together in the dark, mulling over our own thoughts. Finally, Remus reached out his hand, sliding it under my shirt to stroke my belly. The feeling of those callused, yet gentle hands on my body sent a shiver up my spine.

"Do you think you'll start showing soon?" he asked with a tiny smile.

"Probably," I said, propping myself up on my elbows. "It's only a matter of time."

"Do you want a boy, or a girl?" he asked, not taking his eyes off of my stomach.

"I haven't really thought about it," I said honestly. "But I think a boy would be nice. You guys are grossly outnumbered in this house."

"Yes, that's true," Remus chuckled. "I suppose it's a bit selfish, then, to say I would prefer a girl."

"That isn't selfish," I said, placing my hand over his. "I'm sure a girl would be nice, too."

Then he smiled – really smiled – as he leaned forward, placing his large hand on the back of my neck as he pulled me into a kiss. Our lips melted together in a lazy sort of way; both of us too tired for a passionate kiss, yet craving it anyway.

"Can we, just once more?" Remus pleaded with me.

I nodded, "Of course…"

The full moon came and went, and once Remus recovered from his transformation, he began accompanying my uncle to work. It took me all of two hours to realize how much I loathed the concept. My days seemed dull and empty without Remus there to fill them with tender kisses and kind, loving words. When he returned home in the evening, he would embrace me warmly, and kiss me more than enough times to make up for the day apart.

He didn't particularly enjoy the work he was doing, Remus confided in me one crisp, fall night. It didn't surprise me at all. Remus was a word person, and Uncle Jack's business revolved around numbers. But he had been right; we needed the money. I was forced to face that reality when I researched how much it would cost to raise our child. All the money he earned went straight into savings.

With Remus at work all day, I was forced to find other ways to entertain myself. I found comfort in books, and Lutie was kind enough to prepare a reading list for me. I also devoted more time to my potions, which were being sold in Aria's basement shop. However, there were many potions I could not prepare without potentially harming my unborn child and some customers were forced onto a waiting list.

Thus, our summer of love came to an abrupt end. After the Death Eater attack, the whole wizarding world seemed to be on edge. Sirius and I both read the paper thoroughly every morning, looking for any subtle hints about Voldemort or his followers, but none were found. We explained the situation to Lutie, Ms. McGuff, Nana, and Stephen, all of whom quickly became just as paranoid as the rest of us.

My pregnancy seemed to ease everyone's paranoia. By the time Halloween rolled around, my condition became very obvious. I could hardly enter a room without someone asking to touch my stomach. I started wearing maternity clothes, most of which were donations from Ms. McGuff.

I think being with child helped me cope with losing Remus to the world of work more than anything else could. Whenever I felt particularly lonely, all I had to do was touch my pregnant belly, and I would remember that I wasn't alone at all.

There was a change in Sirius, as well. I think realizing just how much it cost us to keep him was what did it, even though I told him at least a dozen times that I _wanted_ him in our home. If anything needed to be done around the house, Sirius was the first to volunteer. He cut down on his portions during every meal, and began spending more and more time with Aria in her shop (as a dog, of course).

The arrival of Halloween seemed to cheer everyone up. I found out from Ms. McGuff that my stepmother had forbidden the housekeeper from decorating for the holiday ("_It's a rubbish holiday. Magical riffraff is all it is. Foolishness," Mora had told her, apparently_). She was quite ecstatic when I encouraged her to decorate the house; in fact I hadn't seen her look quite that happy since Remus had moved in with us. In the weeks leading up to Halloween, she filled the house with all the adorable decorations that hadn't seen the light of day since the start of my stepmother's reign.

Three days before the much anticipated holiday, Remus and Uncle Jack brought home a wheelbarrow full of pumpkins for us to carve. After dinner, those of us participating in the mass carving migrated out to the back porch. It was cold enough now that we all needed a jacket of some sort.

_It'll be snowing before we know it,_ I thought as I watched from the porch swing. Remus sat next to me, his hand resting on my knee. On the floor, Jeff, Ashley, Aria, Penelope, Sirius, Moth, Lutie, and her mother sat with their pumpkins, each one of them hard at work. Nana sat in her wheelchair, working on one of her Christmas sweaters.

"Vi-Vi, why aren't you carving pumpkins with us?" Ashley asked, yanking a handful of goo out of her gourd.

"You know how my hands get," I said. "And with the baby… I just figure it would be best if I didn't handle a sharp object."

"Don't fret, Miss Carroll," Moth said. "Moth will carve this pumpkin with extra care in your honor!"

"Um… thank you, Moth," I said, smiling at her. "I appreciate it."

"It was very kind of you to bring these home for us, Mr. Lupin," Ms. McGuff said meekly. She was still carefully stenciling on her pumpkin. Every single detail was to be outlined in pencil before she began cutting.

He smiled, "Please, call me Remus."

"Hey ass-hat, you're supposed to cut the hole in the top," Lutie said, looking at Sirius as if he were a complete imbecile.

"I know what I'm doing," he scoffed, ripping out a handful of his pumpkin's guts out of the large hole he had cut in the bottom of it.

"I never thought cutting and stabbing could be so relaxing," Aria said. "We should do things like this more often."

"Yes, I like having everyone together like this," Penelope said, wrapping her arms around Jeff's waist. "How is ours coming along, sweetheart?"

"Wonderful," Jeff said, tilting the pumpkin so its cockeyed face was staring at his girlfriend. "I think he takes after you, wouldn't you say?"

"Um, yes," Penelope said, giggling girlishly. "Yes, I think so. But he defiantly has your eyes."

The screen door creaked, and Stephen poked his head out. His hair was in terrible need of cutting, and his completion turned ghastly pale when he saw Ashley glaring at him.

"So… carving pumpkins?" he asked nervously.

I opened my mouth to reply, but Ashley beat me to it. "What does it look like we're doing?" she said. I had never known her to be cross – seriously cross, at least. "You're so simple."

"W-well," he gulped. "I guess I'll just leave you guys alone."

"No, wait!" I called after him, but he had already disappeared back inside.

"Jesus," Lutie snorted.

"Why did you have to go and do that?" I asked. "That poor guy is already shy enough-"

Ashley crossed her arms, "That's what he gets for breaking up with me."

"_He_ broke up with _you_?" Jeff asked, sounding quite amazed. "Why?"

She nodded, "Said I was taking up too much of his time. I should have been the one dumping him; all he wanted to do was write stupid poems about me. I crave physical affection, you know."

_I had a feeling it wouldn't last,_ I thought. _But it's going to cause us so much trouble now. Ashley knows how to hold a grudge._

"Hey, look at this," Sirius said, diffusing the gravity of the situation by placing his hallowed out pumpkin over his head. Jeff, Ashley, and Ms. McGuff burst into a loud fit of laughter. I couldn't help but giggle, and I could hear Remus trying to stifle his laughter. Lutie only rolled her eyes.

"Hold still," Aria commanded, grabbing one of the markers. "I'll draw you a face."

"Thanks, love," Sirius said sweetly. "It would be nice to see…"

"See how ridiculous you look," Lutie muttered.

"Violet, do you think I could talk to you about something?" Remus whispered.

"Is something bothering you?" I asked, tilting his face up. Suddenly, everyone else went quiet. I hated the feeling I got when they all watched us like that.

"Not really…" he said, offering me a tiny yet reassuring smile. "I was just wondering if… Well, you know what happened on Halloween, of course…"

_Voldemort murdered James and Lily Potter,_ I reminded myself. _And then Peter Pettigrew murdered my mother._

"Y-yes," I stammered, feeling my hands begin to shake again. "I know…"

"I was thinking if visiting the cemetery in Godric's Hollow, where Lily and James are buried," he said. "And I was wondering if you would accompany me."

"Of course," I said without hesitation.

"We could visit your mother's grave as well, if you like," he offered.

_I haven't done that for years,_ I thought, nodding. "Yes, I think we should."

"I want to go too," said Sirius. However, it was quite impossible to take him seriously with that goofy face Aria had drawn on his pumpkin-head.

Remus sighed, "Sirius-"

"I'll go as a dog," he said, sounding like an impatient teenager begging, begins his parents to let him do something. "I want to see James."

"I don't see why he couldn't," I said quietly. "As long as he's a dog, no one will notice."

"I'm going regardless," Sirius announced. "So we might as well go together."

Remus finally gave in, rubbing his temple with frustration. "Fine," he said. "We'll bring you along."


	71. Chapter 71

The car made a nasty sputtering sound when I turned it off, and for a moment I wished – even though I hated doing it – that Apparating had been an option. However, the nurse at St. Mungo's had mentioned that recent studies were showing that Apparition might be linked to complications during pregnancy. Despite the fact that the research was incomplete, and none of the complications were severe, Remus insisted we take the car.

"Thank you for coming with me," he said as he helped me out of the car. "I don't think I would have been able to do this alone."

"Why not?" I asked, letting Sirius/Snuffles crawl out of the back seat before I forced the door shut. "Haven't you gone before?"

"Yes, I have, a few times. The cemetery here gives me the creeps," he said as he grabbed my hand. His grip was much tighter than usual, almost constraining.

"How do you mean?" I asked, rubbing his hand gently.

"It's… strange," he said, struggling to find the words he wanted. "Haunted, perhaps is a good word for it."

I chuckled, "Remus, you've seen ghosts before-"

"No," he interrupted. "Not ghosts… I can't really explain it; you'd think I was crazy if I even tried. Let's just be off."

"Alright…" I said, allowing him to lead me through the sleepy little town, with Snuffles trotting along behind us.

Godric's Hollow was one of the most adorable places I had ever seen. I had expected something a little grander. However, Godric's Hollow consisted of only a few shops, a church, a post office, and a couple dozen cute little cottages. The villagers eyed us curiously; the town was small enough that visitors probably stuck out like a sore thumb.

It was nice, walking side by side, in a town where nobody knew us. No one knew our story. None of these people would gossip about us behind our backs.

_Maybe they think we're looking for a house to raise our child in_, I imagined, smiling at Remus fondly. _They probably think we're happily married, too… _

Remus glanced over at me, doing a double take when he saw I was grinning. "What?"

"Nothing," I said, leaning into him a little. "I was just… thinking."

"About what?" he inquired.

"Nothing," I said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. He stopped suddenly, and my heart turned cold with worry. It only warmed up a little when I saw what he was looking at. There, in the middle of the square, was a statue of a family; a mother, a father, and a small baby. The Potters.

"It's… nice," I whispered as we admired the statue. I hugged Remus's arm tightly when I heard his breath grow quick and shallow. "They look very happy, don't they?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes," Remus said, as if he had forgotten I was there. He grabbed onto my hand again, nearly dragging me through the square. "Come along; Sir- I mean, _Snuffles,_ is already halfway there."

I looked ahead, spotting the large black dog further up the street. "He's so impatient," I murmured. "If he isn't careful he's going to end up at the pound or something."

"He can take care of himself," Remus assured me. He didn't take his eyes off of Sirius until we reached the graveyard. Our animal companion waited for us, unable to open the latch with his paws. He yowled as we approached.

"Hold your horses," I said to him as Remus opened the gate for us. Sirius ignored me, running through the gate as if this were the Kentucky Derby.

I looked around the graveyard, and it was easy to see why it unnerved Remus so much to visit it. Everything in the graveyard looked dead. Even the air felt dead in my lungs. All of the leaves on the trees were now scattered on the ground, creating an endless sea of orange and red. Tombstones were scattered about in what appeared to be no particular order. It seemed to go on forever.

"They're right over here," Remus said, leading the way. I looked over my shoulder for Sirius; he had noticed we were walking in a different direction and had already begun racing towards us. By the time we reached the appropriate tombstones, he was nipping at our heels.

Compared to the statue in the square, the grave markers were relatively simple. They still retained most of their original polish, and the carvings were much clearer than some of the older stones surrounding them:

**James Potter  
March 27 1960 - October 31 1981**

**Lily Potter  
January 30 1960 - October 31 1981**

_They were only twenty-one_, I realized, biting down on my lip. _I had no idea… Then again, they are… _were_ the same age as Remus, and he's only thirty-four now… _

A soft breeze blew my hair into my eyes, and I had to pee like crazy, but I didn't dare movie. I had never seen Remus look so… _focused _before. Even when he was reading, he didn't look quite this intense. Even cute little Snuffles stared at the graves solemnly.

"Do you miss them?" I asked, feeling stupid the second the words slipped out of my mouth.

"Yes," Remus sighed. "Every day."

I tried to smile, "What were they like?"

"James was the bravest person I ever knew," he told me. Sirius nodded in agreement. "He was very talented, especially when it came to getting into trouble. James was… _funny_; he always knew how to make me laugh…"

"And what about her?"

"Lily and I were prefects together," he said. "I knew her very well. She… Lily always had a knack for seeing the good in people. You remind me of her, sometimes… Violet, are you familiar with the artist Andy Warhol?"

I nodded, "Yes; Penelope has some of his pictures up in her room, I think. He did the one with the funny bananas, right?"

Remus chuckled, "Yes, the funny bananas."

"What about him?" I asked, quite confused.

"Oh, right," Remus said, as if he had forgotten where he was going with this tangent. "Well, I read a quote of his the other day. _I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, and everything would just keep going on the way it was only you wouldn't be there_, or something to that effect… I used to feel like that. I used to think life would be so much easier if the dead didn't leave anything behind to remind you they existed. We could just keep going and everything would be exactly the same."

"I've felt that way a couple times, myself," I said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"But recently, I've changed my mind," he said, smiling. Not at me, I realized, but at the tombstones. "I think it would be a shame to have people pass on and leave us nothing to remember them by, don't you?"

"Yes," I said, leaning against him. He wrapped his arm around my waist, sobbing quietly for a few moments.

_I'll never be able to replace them,_ I thought, almost shedding a tear myself. _But I hope he knows how much I love him; how important he is to all of us…_

A soft, high-pitched laughter pierced the air, causing me to jump slightly. Remus's eyes widened, and his whole body went ridged.

"W-who's there?" I demanded.

"Let's go," he said, dragging me off towards the front gate. Sirius barked a couple protests, but when it became obvious that Remus was completely intent on leaving, he followed after us.

"Remus, what's gotten into you?" I whispered. My stomach curled tightly as I gripped his hand.

"I told you that cemetery is spooky," he said, his eyes strictly focused straight ahead. After a few more hurried steps, he finally slowed down and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Violet. I hope I didn't frighten you..."

"It was probably just some kid trying to scare us," I said calmly.

"Uh… yes," he said, tugging on his collar. "You're right, I'm being silly…"

"We can go back," I suggested. "If you like."

"No," he said, almost too quickly. "That's quite alright. We still need to visit the cemetery in town, correct?"

I gulped, "Yeah…"

We stopped at a café in town so I could use the restroom, but neither of us felt much like lunch (my overactive stomach was starting to churn up some nasty heartburn; this had become a common occurrence since I had become pregnant). We had to drive past the boarding house on our way to the next cemetery. From a distance, I could see that the old house was overdue for a fresh coat of paint, and the sign that read _Starlight Boarding House_ was faded to the point of illegibility. Especially when compared to the sign advertising for Aria's fortune telling business, which she'd placed right next to it.

It was so tempting to pull into the driveway and run inside, where everyone else was getting ready for a little Halloween party. The thought of putting together costumes with Ashley, Aria, and Jeff seemed like a much nicer way to spend the day. But I forced myself to drive on.

The cemetery in the village was small – especially when compared to the one in Godric's Hollow – and locating my mother's tombstone was simple enough. Unlike the Potters', hers was a bit more elaborate, with fancy carvings of flowers and beautiful, flowing text:

"**So we beat on, boats against the current,  
Borne back ceaselessly into the past."  
Elise Mae Carroll  
January 30 1955 - October 31 1981**

"That's a lovely quote," Remus said. "What is it from?"

"_The Great Gatsby,_" I said, kneeling down so I could trace the words with the tips of my fingers. The marble was so cold it almost stung. "It was her favorite book. Apparently, I was almost saddled with the name Daisy…"

"Violet suits you more, I think," Remus said, groaning as he crouched down next to me. His cane was able to support some of his weight, but he still looked quite uncomfortable.

I swallowed, "Remus, you don't-"

"Tell me about her – your mother," he said, smiling softly. "You almost never mention her. What was she like?"

"I wish I could remember," I said sadly, feeling my eyes start to tear up. "I was only five when she died…"

Remus placed his hand on my shoulder, "Did she like books?"

I nodded, "Mum _adored_ books. She read all the time; I don't think I remember ever seeing her without a book. She's the one who taught me how to read… I remember, when I first started primary school, on the first day, the teacher asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. I said I wanted to be my mother."

"She must have been very kind," he said.

"I tend to remember her that way, but sometimes I… wonder…."

"You wonder?" Remus pressed curiously.

"She was very strict," I explained. "She cared a lot about rules and appearances… Sometimes I wonder if she would have approved of… my life."

"You mean _me_," Remus sighed. It wasn't a question; it was a statement. He was correct; I was almost sure she wouldn't have approved of _any_ aspect of our relationship.

"It doesn't change anything," I told him, finally allowing a few tears to fall. "I just… there's a part of me that would really like to know how she would have felt about all this."

"That's understandable," he said, rubbing my shoulder. "She was your mother. Had she been alive, I'm sure her opinion would have held some weight in your decision."

_Nothing would have kept me from falling for you_, I thought. _But if she had been around, I might have been a completely different person…_

_I don't think that matters,_ I decided. _I would have fallen for Professor Lupin regardless… _

"Thank you, for coming with me," I said, wrapping one arm around Remus and the other around Sirius, who barked loudly in my ear as I pulled him close. "Both of you…"

"We can stay longer, if you like," Remus said, petting Snuffles.

I shook my head, "I think I'd like to go home; I've gotta pee again, and this heartburn is really starting to… er, burn."

"Alright," Remus said, offering me another smile as he stood, trying his best to hide how much it hurt. When I attempted to stand, I found that I couldn't do so without help; Sirius allowed me to lean on him, and Remus held my hand until I was on my feet.

"I guess I should have thought that through more…" I thought, caressing my stomach.

"I'll drive home," Remus offered as we approached the car. I decided it was best not to argue, and forfeited the keys without a fight. I was surprised at how good he was at driving; however I'm sure the ride would have been much smoother if Snuffles wasn't trying to force his way into the front seat the entire way home.

"You're back!" Ashley squealed as we walked up to the porch, throwing the door open for us. She was wearing her old Hogwarts uniform, but the skirt had been hemmed so it was criminally short. Her white blouse was unbuttoned at the top, revealing an obnoxious pink brazier.

"My, that's a tasteful outfit, Miss Zimmer," Remus said, scratching his chin. "You're a naughty school girl, right?"

I snickered, "I thought you were going to wear a costume today."

Ashley made a face at me. "Neh-neh-neh. But that's not _quite_ it, Lu-Lu. Close, though."

"What are you, then?" I asked.

"I'm you, Vi-Vi!" she giggled. "It's more obvious when Jeff has his costume on."

"Let me guess," Remus said, no longer sounding amused in the slightest. "He's me."

Ashley nodded, "Yup!"

Sirius barked loudly, hurrying inside before he transformed into his laughing human form. Clearly this was very amusing for him.

My cheeks were flaring, "Ashley…"

"Come in! Come in!" she coaxed, leading us into the living room, where they had one of Remus's big band records playing. All the pumpkins we had carved were on display; Sirius was putting his back on his head while Ms. McGuff helped him put on what appeared to be a scarecrow costume. Aria was painting cat whiskers on Lutie, who looked less than amused. John Lennon – or rather, Penelope dressed up like John Lennon – was playing cards with Uncle Jack.

"Drat, you beat me again," she pouted.

"I'm an expert at card games," he said smugly. "I almost never lose."

"No wonder no one ever wants to play with you," Penelope said, looking a little skeptical as she dealt another hand.

"How was the cemetery?" Aria asked carefully. "Or, _cemeteries_, I suppose."

"As good as can be expected, I suppose," I replied.

Remus nodded, "It feels good to be home again."

"You know, I just thought of something," Sirius said. The pumpkin on his head kept him from realizing he was facing the wall while he spoke.

Aria giggled, "What's that?"

"It's going to be awful hard to drink with this thing on my head."

She laughed, leaving Lutie to guiding him towards a chair, "We'll cut a hole in the top and feed a hose through it. Or I can just drink your share."

Lutie rolled her eyes, "You're both going to kill your livers."

"So, what are you supposed to be?" I asked, sitting down next to her on the sofa. Remus sat on my other side, draping his arm over my shoulder. He was right; it was good to be home again. All of our sadness seemed to disappear the second we walked through the door.

"She's the Cheshire Cat," Aria said with a wink. "Jeff should be down any second with her ears."

I grinned, "That's brilliant."

"I feel ridiculous," Lutie grumbled.

"I have your ears, Little Lutie!" Jeff sang as he slid down the banister, waving a headband with fuzzy cat ears sewn on it as if it were a victory flag. I was a bit surprised to see that the tweed suit he had swiped from Remus fit him quite well. "Er, I mean, I have located your lobes, Miss McGuff. Please allow me to bestow them on your cranium posthaste!"

"I don't really talk like that, do I?" Remus whispered while Jeff and Lutie wrestled next to us.

I shook my head, "You're not nearly that absurd, I promise."

"Well Vi-Vi, how do I look?" Jeff asked once he managed to secure the cat ears on Lutie's head. "Do I melt your heart?"

"You're very… handsome, Jeff," I said. I looked up at Remus, smiling, "But I prefer the real thing."

"Ah, my heart weeps," Jeff sighed. "But… oh well. I still have Ash- I mean, _my_ Vi-Vi, and… that weird muggle with the scraggly hair!"

Penelope chuckled, "I'm John Lennon."

"Yes, him!" said Jeff, putting on his most distinguished face. "I, Remus Lupin, am madly in love with John Lennon, and nothing I have ever said in the past or will say in the future can ever change that!"

"Aww, Jeff…" Penelope said, the tears in her eyes suggesting that he had truly touched her heart. Sirius couldn't seem to keep his laughter down.

"B-but what about me?" Ashley pouted. "Aren't I your adorable underage love-cup?"

"Of course," Jeff said, giving her a quick, innocent kiss on the cheek. She giggled with delight. I felt my face heating up again.

_I really wish they'd all give it a rest,_ I thought, watching Remus loosen his tie nervously. _He feels guilty enough as it is…_

"Alright, I think it's time we brought out the Firewhiskey," Uncle Jack said. "I bought a bottle of Ogden's Old just for today. Oh, and a bottle of grape juice for Violet and Lutie."

I nodded, "Thank you."

"I'll just have juice as well, Jack," Remus said.

"You've never been good at holding your liquor," Sirius told the lamp.

"Ari, is Eddie going to be joining us today?" Penelope asked.

"Hell no," Aria said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, trouble in paradise?" I questioned.

"I wouldn't know," she sighed. "I packed my bags and left paradise _and_ all those annoying smartass comments behind about a month ago."

Ashley gasped, "Why didn't you tell us?"

"It… didn't seem important," Arai said, her voice racked with guilt. "I figured he wouldn't come around for a while and you guys would all just… assume."

"I never liked that kid," Sirius said, taking the pumpkin off of his head. "He had shifty eyes."

Aria snorted, "You seemed to have fun chasing him around whenever he came to pick me up for a date."

"I agree with Dog-breath," said Lutie. "He was… well, annoying."

I nodded, "You can do better, Ari. I'm sure you'll find someone."

"And… if you need anything," Sirius said, placing one of his large hands on Aria's knee. "I'm here for you."

She smiled, "Thanks, Sirius, but I'm fine. Really. I'm completely over Eddie. I've _been_ over him for a while, I think. We're just too… different."

"I mean if you need _anything_," he went on, his expression turning smug. "Especially if you happen to need a good shag after your breakup. I'm just a few doors down-"

"You're disgusting," Aria said, pushing his hand off of her knee.

"You just got shot _down_," Jeff snickered. He and Ashley high-fived. "Like, _down_!"

Sirius glared at him, "You know, I think I prefer the real Moony as well. This new one's kind of a twat. Maybe we can feed it to the Hippogriff later."

"You were asking for it, mate," Remus reminded him.

"I'll have you know," Jeff said, using his Professor Lupin voice again. "That Hippogriffs only prey on things they can swallow whole."

"Just like your mom," Ashley said, bursting into laughter.

"We're so classy," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Violet," Lutie said. "I feel sorry for your kid already."

I frowned, praying that she wasn't about to start one of her angsty teenage tirades. "Why?"

To my surprise, she cracked a tiny, crooked smile, "It is going to have a friggin' _confusing_ childhood."

**Arthur's Notes**

First of all, sorry for the wait. There was recently a death in my family, so writing the first part of this chapter was a bit difficult for me. That's why I decided to end on a happy note tonight; I needed some cheering up.

Second of all, 375 reviews is awesome! Thanks to everyone who reviews, reads, and supports this story. Your encouragement is what keeps this going, and I don't think my plans for the next several chapters are going to disappoint you!


	72. Chapter 72

Even though my heartburn and swollen ankles kept me confined to the sofa for most of the evening, it was still an enjoyable Halloween Party. Jeff's impressions of Remus became more and more absurd after every shot of Fire Whiskey (which Nana scolded him for). Try as she might, Penelope never managed to win a card game against my uncle. Sirius managed to a couple times, which seemed like a grand achievement, or possibly a miracle, until we discovered that he had been cheating.

I'm not sure exactly how long the night's activities went on. Most of the house was still carrying on at midnight, when Remus and I decided to retire for the evening. I couldn't keep myself from yawning while I changed into my pajamas.

"Violet," Remus said as I slid into bed. I noticed that he hadn't made any attempt to change yet. "Thank you for coming with me today."

"Thank you for coming with _me_," I said, offering him a kind smile. "I think it might have been difficult for me to go by myself."

He sat down on the edge of the bed, sighing. He looked very tired.

"Are you alright, Remus?" I asked, reaching over to grab his hand.

"Hmm? Oh, I'll be alright," he said, his gaze fixed on the floor.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"I just…" he paused, an exasperated expression taking over his face. "I think James and Lily would have had a fantastic time tonight. Halloween was James's favorite holiday. I… I wish I had the opportunity to introduce them to you."

That made me smile, "R-really?"

"I know James would have teased us just as much as Sirius does," he said, finally glancing up at me. "But… I think they would be happy for us. Especially Lily; she adored children. She would have been such a wonderful mother."

I nodded, "Poor Harry. At last I knew my mother before…"

We both fell silent again, staring at our feet for what felt like hours. After a while, Remus wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer as he rested his head on top of mine. Then, alone in our bedroom, I was able to do what I couldn't do back at the cemetery.

I cried.

I cried because I missed my mother. I cried because James and Lily were gone, even though I had never known them. I cried because I loved Remus more than anything, but the world hated him. I loved him so much, but the world wouldn't let me be his wife.

"There, it's alright," he whispered into my ear, using his sleeve to wipe away my tears.

"It's so _unfair_," I sobbed. "All of it. Sometimes I don't know how you can even stand it!"

"Me…?" he said quizzically. "Violet, what are you-"

"It's so horrible, the way you're treated. Absolutely horrible!"

"Violet-"

"Y-you've been through so much…" I said, starting to feel a bit foolish now that I was calming down. "I… I hate it, I really do…"

"You shouldn't get so worked up on my account," he said, rubbing my shoulder gently. "I do just fine. Better than ever, these days, as a matter of fact; mostly thanks to you."

"But I haven't-"

"If it weren't for you, I would be unemployed. You've given me a place to live – no, more than that; you've given me a _home_. And…" he stopped, tilting my face up gently. "And you love me… you're giving me a child… I never thought I'd have any of that, Violet. Now… how are you feeling? Is that heartburn still bothering you?"

I nodded, "Yes, a little."

"Would you like me to get something for you?" he offered. "Water, or some milk?"

I shook my head, "No, I think I'd just like to go to bed now…"

"Alright," he said, kissing me quickly before we both crawled back into bed. He wrapped his arms tightly around me, rubbing my back until I finally drifted off to sleep.

I was startled awake, feeling as though my eyes had only been closed for a couple of moments. However, seeing Remus fully dressed, cursing while he struggled to pick up the pile of books he had knocked over, I realized that it must be early morning.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I was trying to be quiet…"

"It's alright," I yawned, sitting up in bed.

"No, go back to sleep," he insisted. "You need all the rest you can get."

"I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep," I told him, sliding into my ugly – yet fuzzy and warm – purple slippers. "I can't fall asleep if you're not in the bed with me…"

"Oh, is that so…" he said, smiling shyly.

"I get… cold…" I said, blushing a little. "Anyway, shall we go downstairs for breakfast?"

"That sounds wonderful," he said, taking me by the hand. Though I was perfectly capable of making it down the stairs on my own (I wasn't _that_ pregnant, yet), Remus still insisted that I let him help me. We took each creaky step one at a time, with one of his strong hands on my shoulder to keep me from toppling over.

_If he wasn't so sweet about it, this would be very annoying,_ I thought, smiling and thanking him once we reached the bottom. A transformed-Sirius slipped past the swinging door, giving us a warning glance before he started up the stairs.

Remus and I looked at each other, and I could tell he was thinking the same thing I was; _What is that mutt up to?_ He squeezed my hand briefly, and together we entered the kitchen.

"Vi-Vi!" Ashley yelped. "And Lu-Lu! Look whose come to visit us!"

I looked at the kitchen table, seeing only Ashley and Lutie, who was nibbling on some toast. Moth was at the counter, putting her school lunch together. Only when the petite man turned around in his chair did I realize he was there.

"Professor Flitwick!" I gasped, not sure if I was elated to see my old professor, or mortified that he was seeing _me_ in my pajamas. He didn't seem to mind, however; he greeted me with a familiar smile as he hopped out of his chair.

"Filius!" Remus said, sounding equally surprised. "So good to see you again."

"Remus Lupin?" Flitwick said, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "What on earth are you…"

The kitchen fell silent – save for Moth's oblivious humming – as Flitwick looked at me, then at Remus; back and forth and back and forth. I felt oddly exposed, and grabbed onto Remus's arm for a bit of comfort.

"V-violet," he said, staring at my stomach. "You're…"

"Y-yes," I said, tightening my hold.

"I mean, I'd heard rumors…" he said. He must have realized he was staring, because he looked away quickly. "But I didn't think they were _true_…"

"Professor…" I started, but I couldn't come up with anything else to say. Since I was eleven years old, I had been Professor Flitwick's pride and joy; I'd never heard him brag about another student the way he bragged about me. Hearing him condemn my relationship with Remus would have been like pouring a mixture of salt and lemon juice into a gaping wound.

However, when the little man finally looked back up at us, he was smiling, "But, this is good, I think. Yes…"

My heart fluttered. I heard Remus give a short, lighthearted chuckle.

"Yes," Flitwick said again, adjusting his glasses. "This is wonderful news! Congratulations!"

"Thank you so much, Professor," I said, grinning like a maniac.

"Teacher's pet," I heard Lutie mutter.

"Oh, you have no idea," Ashley said. "Vi-Vi was his _favorite_; he'd let her get away with murder."

_Maybe I was the favorite because I never acted up in class,_ I thought, but I kept my mouth shut.

"You know, you were both favorite students of mine," Flitwick continued, either not hearing the whispered conversation behind him, or ignoring it. "I mean, the whole thing is a bit… _unorthodox,_ but… well, forgive me if I'm being blunt, but I think the two of you are a fine pair."

"Thank you, Professor," I said. "You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that."

"Well, I'm going to school," Lutie announced, hopping out of her chair. "Er, nice meeting you, I guess…"

"The pleasure was all mine," Flitwick said.

"I'll walk out with you," Ashley said, linking arms with Lutie, who tried to fight her off passively as they exited the kitchen.

Remus cleared his throat, "I should probably be leaving, as well. I'm already running a bit late."

"Are you sure you can't stay for breakfast?" Flitwick said, sounding quite disappointed. "I came here to discuss some business with Violet and her family, but it was a pleasant surprise to see you again, Remus…"

"I'm afraid I can't," he sighed. "But, perhaps you could join us for dinner some evening?"

"Yes," I said eagerly. "We would love to have you, sir. And I'm sure my uncle would enjoy your company as well."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," he said, smiling. "I would love to hear everything about what the two of you have been up to."

"I'm afraid it isn't very exciting," Remus shrugged as Moth handed him is shabby briefcase. He kissed me on the forehead quickly before he bid us goodbye.

"Yes," Flitwick said, scratching his chin. "The more I think about it, the more I like the thought of the two of you together..."

I sat down across from him, beaming. "You said you needed to talk to me about something, sir?"

"Oh, yes!" he said. "Is your father around? I had hoped to speak to him, as well."

"No," I said, my face falling. "My father isn't here."

"Well, I suppose that's alright," he said. "I'm sure you'll be able to handle this just fine. Better, in fact, given that you're far more experienced with magic than he is, what with him being a muggle and all."

"What is it, Professor?"

"Your sister, Coral Carroll," he said, pulling a small stack of papers out of his jacket. "The Ministry has found evidence that she has been using magic."

"M-magic? Coral?" I stuttered. "You mean my sister is-"

"A witch," he finished for me. "It's not at all surprising; the magic gene has been relatively strong in the Carroll family over the past several generations."

"But… she's so young…" I said, running my hand through my hair.

"As I recall, you were relatively young when you first began to show signs of magical abilities," Professor Flitwick said. "I'm glad I was chosen to handle Coral's case. I had wanted yours – your uncle had been a favorite of mine, you know – but Dumbledore thought, given your specific circumstances, that he had better handle your case himself."

I still remembered that day, as if it were yesterday. After my mother's funeral, I attempted to run away from home, only to find myself caught out in a rain storm. Dumbledore found me, somehow, and took me home. There, he explained to my father that I was a witch, that I had inherited the same magical traits that Jack had, and that the storm had been a physical manifestation of my own magic.

Years later, after I turned eleven Dumbledore showed up at my house again, this time to take me shopping for school supplies, since my stepmother had refused to let Uncle Jack take me. He looked exactly the way I remembered him. It was – I thought then – the best day of my life.

"At any rate," Flitwick said finally. "Could I speak to your sister?"

"Speak to… Professor, I think you misunderstand," I said. "My sister and my father are not here."

"Oh, I see," he said. "When will they be returning?"

"I don't know," I said, staring down at the table. I felt tears building up in the corners of my eyes. "I haven't seen them for three months."

"Oh dear," he said, finally concerned. "Why?"

"Because," I sniffled. "My father and stepmother don't approve of… well, they don't approve of my relationship with Remus. So they left, and they took Coral with them. I've sent several owls, but they never reply."

"Oh Violet…" he said, trying to reach over to comfort me. When he found that his arm was too short, his hand retreated back awkwardly. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea-"

"It's alright," I said, wiping my eyes. "I knew that they wouldn't approve from the start. I'm sorry, Professor, but I'm afraid I cannot help you."

"In that case, I must be off," he sighed, slipping out of his chair. "I have to locate your sister as soon as possible. She might lose control of her magic if the issue isn't addressed soon."

I nodded, "Here, I'll-"

"I can see myself out," he said, smiling at me. "You enjoy your breakfast. Don't worry, I'll put in a good word for you, when I speak to your father."

"Thank you, Professor."

"Oh, and Violet," he said. "Be sure you read _The Daily Prophet_ this week. There are exciting things happening at Hogwarts that I'm sure you'd like to read about."

I didn't have the heart to tell him that I really had no interest in Hogwarts business; I had enough on my plate already. But I assured him that I would as I watched him leave the room.


	73. Chapter 73

As soon as Professor Flitwick walked out the door, I couldn't sit still. Adding this new concern about my sister onto my plate seemed to send everything toppling over, and my mind was suddenly buzzing at a million miles a minute. I helped Moth wash the breakfast dishes, and when that was done I helped her put together some sort of casserole that would be cooked slowly in the oven until we were ready for dinner. Once that was finished, I searched the house for books, putting them back in their proper places in the library once I had finished. I then proceeded to dust the knickknack shelf in the living room, almost knocking down several breakables with my pregnant stomach.

Ms. McGuff discovered me at about two o'clock in the afternoon, climbing up on a stool to get a cobweb off of the ceiling. She then forced me to retire to the living room, for the sake of my sanity and for the baby's health. It was only after I had been sitting for a few moments that I realized that my back was killing me, but that didn't fend off the urge to _move_ – to get my mind off of Coral and what would happen to her when Professor Flitwick caught up with my family.

"You look stressed, dear," Nana said, setting her needlework aside for a moment. "Is everything alright?"

"Oh, I'm alright," I said, managing to squeeze out a smile. "I'm just feeling a bit fidgety."

"You can organize my thread, if you need something to do," she said, nodding at the wooden box at her feet.

"Sure," I sighed. Having something to focus on seemed better than just staring at the ceiling and leaving my mind free to wander. I bit back a groan as I sat up, pulling the box into my lap. When I opened it, I found myself face-to-face with a tangled mess so terrifying that I was almost certain it was some sort of yarn-boggart.

"It's a bit messy," she said, turning her attention back to the scarf she was working on.

"Yeah," I said, pulling a clump out of the box. "I noticed…"

At first, I came very close to enjoying my job. Untangling the thread took a lot of brainpower, and all I could focus on was getting the different colors separated. However, as I slowly came to the realization that untangling the thread was impossible, that yarn box started to seem like a cruel metaphor for my life; a big, tangled mess that I'd never be able to fix. So much going on all at once that I could never hope to tackle everything.

I cried. I tried to stop it at first, but a few renegade tears somehow made their way down my cheeks, and then the dams busted loose. I dropped the tangled thread back into the box and buried my face in my hands, hoping to muffle my sobbing.

"Hmm, Violet?" Nana said lovingly. "Are you alright?"

"I'm-"

"Violet!" Sirius hollered, running down the stairs so quickly that the entire house shook. "Violet! There's trouble-"

"No!" I snapped, tossing that stupid box of thread aside.

"What the hell do you mean _no_?" Sirius replied.

"No more problems!" I said. "We've already reached the problem quota for the month! No more trouble, no more problems!"

"Violet," he said, his voice a little big calmer now. "What's wrong?"

"Everything is wrong!" I cried. "I've got an escaped convict and a wanted Hippogriff living in my boarding house, Lutie's getting into fights at school, Ashley's got Stephen so scared he won't come out of his room, Aria's business is suffering because I can't make potions for her, my sister's a witch and I _know_ my stepmother is going to be _really_ angry when she finds out, and I'm pregnant and my back hurts and those damn anti-werewolf laws won't allow Remus and I to get married, so this child will never have a proper family, and now this stupid yarn box is turning into a metaphor and-"

"Violet, calm down," Sirius said, placing his hand on my shoulder. I jumped, not realizing he was standing that close to me. "If you keep talking that fast, your jaw's going to fall off."

I took a deep breath, feeling myself calming down a little. I wiped my eyes, "I'm sorry, Sirius. I didn't mean to yell, I just… I don't know-"

"Don't mention it," he said. "The pregnancy is probably just making you all hormone-crazy; overreacting is normal."

"I am _not_ overreacting," I said, glaring at him. "I've got a lot on my plate right now!"

"I can see that," Sirius said. I had to fight back the urge to slap that grin off of his face. "But some of those things you just berated me with aren't even worth worrying about."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Ari's shop is fine," he assured me. "She gets plenty of customers, trust me."

I blinked, "How do you know that?"

He twirled a strand of his long, black hair around a bony finger, "I like to hang around down there during the day. As a dog, of course. And I don't think you need to worry about Lutie; I think she can handle herself in a fight, if she's beating up the boys."

I snorted, "That isn't the point…"

"And it's very kind of you to worry about me," he added. "Really, it is. But I'm _fine_, Violet. I get a bit… restless, sometimes, but this beats the hell out of Azkaban."

"I imagine it would, huh…"

"And… about the kid…" Sirius said hesitantly, his eyes wandering down to my stomach. "You and Moony are going to be wonderful parents, married or not. Hell, my parents were married, and that didn't make them better people."

"I've never heard you mention your parents before," I realized. "What were they like?"

"Horrible," he scowled. "But that isn't the point. The point is… er, well, I don't think being married or not is really going to affect the kid as much as you think. It's like Lutie said at the Halloween party; this house is bloody bonkers. Having unwed parents is probably the _least_ bizarre thing he'll have to deal with."

"Or she," I said, smiling a little, placing my hand on my stomach. "We still don't know the gender yet… Thanks for listening, Sirius. I feel a little better now."

"Of course," he said, bowing gracefully before he sat down next to me. "You know, it's sort of weird to think about, but you're one of my closest friends…"

"I am?" I said, a bit surprised. "Really?"

"Well, aside from Moony, almost everyone I knew before I went to prison is dead," he said grimly. "The ones who are still alive… Well, it's not like I can just drop by for a visit."

I gulped, "Oh, right…"

_Now that I think about it, you're one of my closest friends too, Sirius_, I thought. _Not that I have many to speak of…_

Sirius shook his head, "That doesn't matter right now; I've got some bad news."

"Yes, that's right," I said, suddenly remembering that he had been ranting and raving about something before he'd helped me through my own little meltdown. "What's happened?"

"I'm not entirely sure," he said, staring at the floor. "But I think my godson may be in trouble."

"Harry, in trouble?" I said.

He nodded, "I need to speak with him, right away. I'm afraid I'm going to have to-"

"You are _not_ going anywhere," I said quickly. "If you need to send him a letter, my uncle has an owl-"

"The Ministry has been intercepting a lot of owls recently," Sirius told me. "At least, that's what Remus has been saying. They're starting to get paranoid."

I blinked, "Paranoid?"

"Death Eaters appeared at the World Cup," he reminded me. "And that party Jeff took you two earlier this summer sounded like a gathering, from what I heard. The Ministry is nervous, and for good reason."

"Oh," I nodded. "Of course…"

"It works to my disadvantage, of course," Sirius muttered darkly. "If the Ministry intercepts any of the letters I send to Harry, or that he sends to me, we could all end up in Azkaban."

"They probably think you're in cahoots with the Death Eaters," I thought aloud.

He snorted, "Not in a million years, not for a million Galleons."

"Bloody _hell_, work was killer today," Jeff gasped, bursting through the kitchen door. He was wearing work clothes, and had his long, wavy hair pulled back with a rubber hand. The front of his shirt was covered with blood, and judging by his posture, the two buckets he was carrying were quite heavy.

My hands flew up to cover my nose, "Jeff, you _reek_. What have you been doing?"

"I had to cut up a couple of pigs today," he said cheerfully, using the same tone he would to inform me about a new hairstylist, or something else delightful. "You know, to feed some of the more, er, ferocious creatures at work. I brought some home for Buckbeak, too."

"Thank you, Jeff," Sirius said, though I could tell his heart wasn't in it. "I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

"Aww, what's wrong?" Jeff asked, instantly sensing that something was happening. Sirius explained the situation to him, but all I could focus on was the smell. That horrible, awful smell that was causing my head to pound and my stomach to turn.

"I'm going to be sick," I managed to get out before I dashed to the bathroom. My knees hit the ground roughly, and in the back of my head I knew they would be bruised later. But at the time, all I could think about was getting my head into the toilet as I puked.

"Violet," Ms. McGuff said, knocking on the door gently. "Are you alright in there?"

"I'm f-fine," I stuttered.

"I told the transv-… Mr. Flanders to go out back and hose off," she informed me. "So you don't need to worry; when you're finished, feel free to come out."

"O-okay," I said, spitting up again. "Thank you, Sarah."

I hadn't experienced much morning sickness while I had been pregnant, which was something I was _very _thankful for; my stomach was already nervous enough. However, I had become extremely sensitive to smells; even the slightest unpleasant odor caused me to vomit. Moth had prepared some sort of salmon dish a few nights prior, and the fish-smell kept me in the bathroom until well after midnight.

_And poor Remus stayed up with me,_ I remembered, closing my eyes. _He rubbed my back and held my hair out of my face, and got me soda crackers and water, and he stayed with me until I felt well enough to go to bed, even though he had to work the next morning…_

"You'd better appreciate all this," I grumbled to my unborn child. When I was sure that I was finished, I flushed the toilet, watching my reflection in the swirling water…

Then it hit me. At first, I thought it was more vomit, and I leaned back into the bowl, ready to retch again. But that wasn't it – I wasn't going to be sick. I'd had an idea. Somehow, seeing my reflection in that water had given me an idea. Drawing energy from my determination, I stood up, making my way back out to the living room.

I cleared my throat, "Sirius, I think I know how you can speak with Harry. _Without_ having to leave the house."


	74. Chapter 74

**Author's Note**

So, I don't know if anyone noticed, but today is the one year anniversary of Waiting for the Moon to Rise. Wow, I've been writing this for a whole year… In one year, I've written 74 chapters, over 200,000 words, and received over 400 reviews. None of this would have happened if it weren't for you readers, so thank you!

To show my appreciation, Chapter 74 is a "special" chapter, from Lupin's point of view! This takes place during the earlier chapters of the main plot. Oh, nostalgia…

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, and the main story will be back in Chapter 75!

Love,  
Komaki

_The light from the fire was too low for reading; I had to strain my eyes to make out the small print in my cheep, paperback copy of _David Copperfield_. Nevertheless, I was thankful for the roaring fire in front of me. Without it, the large stone room would have been unbearably cold. Despite the fact that it wasn't quite bright enough to make my task comfortable, I was grateful for the illumination as well. The scene around me was far too lovely to miss._

_The fireplace was the room's central feature. It was so large that I could have easily stood up inside it. The floors and walls were all crafted from the same unpolished grey stone, giving the entire room a medieval feeling. The windows all revealed the same image; a clear and endless starry night. Off to the right sat the dining table, where the remnants of a meal for two were waiting to be taken away. On the coffee table in front of me sat a freshly opened bottle of wine and a pair of crystal glasses. One still had a tiny pool of red liquid lingering at the bottom._

_The most beautiful sight, however, was the head of long auburn hair in my lap, and the body stretched out across the sofa, covered by a thinly-woven tan blanket._

Violet_, I thought, setting my book aside. Gently, I brushed some hair out of the way, revealing a soft, slumbering face. My fingers continued exploring, moving slowly down her neck and around her bare shoulders. _Violet! It's really her. We're alone together, in this wonderful place. She's asleep in my lap… I never thought we'd be this close!

"_Mmmm…" she groaned, her eyes slowly fluttering open. I cursed myself for touching her while she was asleep. Now that she was awake, she might change her mind…_

"_I'm sorry," I said, unable to keep myself from smiling at her. "I didn't mean to wake you."_

"_No, its fine," she said, wrapping her arms around my waist. She buried her face in my chest, inhaling deeply. "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."_

"_I don't mind," I assured her. _

"_Remus…" she whispered, and for a moment I wondered if she was sleep talking. _

"_What is it?" I asked, unable to resist the urge to run my fingers through her hair._

_Slowly, Violet began to sit up. She clung to me the entire time, as if she lacked the strength to do so on her own. She pulled herself up, gripping my half-unbuttoned shirt until she could firmly wrap her arms around my neck. Her large grey eyes were clouded with sleep and wine, and her cheeks were glowing a delightful shade of pink._

_She was beautiful._

"_R-remus…" she said again, looking deep into my eyes._

"_Yes?" I said patiently, placing my hands on her waist. My index finger rubbed the exposed skin between her tank top and her skirt. So warm…_

_I felt my face heating up as her face moved closer, closing the gap between us as her lips brushed against mine. The kisses were chaste at first; delicate little things that only lasted for a fraction of a second. Soon, her lips began to linger on mine for several moments before retreating. I closed my eyes, and the next time her lips met mine, I caught them for good, slowly pushing my tongue into her mouth. At first, she seemed surprised, but she quickly complied, moaning quietly while I kissed her._

"Nnn, Violet," I murmured, slowly forcing my eyes open. "I…"

I clamped my mouth shut, and my shoulders felt heavy with reality. I was in my room at Hogwarts, hugging my saliva-drenched pillow tightly. There was no roaring fire. No wine glasses. No _David Copperfield._ No Violet.

I was alone. Exactly as I had been when I went to bed the night before.

"It was all just a dream," I said. Somehow, saying it out loud made it true, and I was able to push my disappointment aside and make myself a cup of coffee.

_A wonderful dream,_ I thought, smiling slightly as I poured the murky brown liquid into my mug. _Her lips were so soft, like flower petals…_

"No," I told myself as I sat down at my little table. "It wasn't wonderful, it was _disgusting._ She's a student for God's sake! If Violet knew about that dream, she'd be sick to her stomach."

_That might not be entirely true,_ the voice in the back of my head whispered (aren't those voices supposed to be a source of moral reason? Why was mine always trying to get me into trouble?). _You've seen that look on her face before…_

It was true. I had been dreaming about Violet almost every night since our first private lesson. They had started out rather innocent, and somewhat bizarre. In one, we had played hopscotch with a unicorn who turned out to be Queen Victoria. In another, we somehow wound up in Japan, and had to defeat seven samurai lords before we could return home.

However, they were becoming more realistic, and more romantic. A few weeks before, I dreamt that we ran into each other while I was out for an evening walk, and she had grabbed onto my hand and smiled at me. A few nights later, I dreamt that she had somehow found her way into my bedroom, slipped under the sheets, and kissed me until I woke up, my lips pressed awkwardly against my poor pillow. _Those dreams aren't the only time you've seen her look at you that way,_ I thought, gulping down my coffee. Y_esterday, in my office…_

At first, I almost wondered if that little mishap had been one of my dreams. Violet had sliced open her finger cleaning up a broken teacup. Without thinking, I took her hand in mine, easily mending her scrape with magic. And then…

Then I saw her face. Her cheeks were glowing - exactly as they were in my dream, before she kissed me – and when I tilted her face up, she looked so beautiful; so young…

The full moon was approaching, which made controlling my… _urges_ a difficult task. I wanted to go through with it, more than I had ever wanted anything. I wanted to kiss her, to pull her close to me and-

Thankfully, my mind got ahead again before things went that far. I was embarrassed, disgusted with myself, and it took a great deal if willpower to tell her to leave.

It was wrong. It was twisted and sick. _I_ was sick. I was a monster, in every since of the word. Violet trusted me, and I was betraying that trust in the worst possible way.

"I'll be lonely without her," I confessed to the empty room. "But Violet will be better off this way. If I'm going to lose control like that, she'd constantly be in danger. And…"

I trailed off, looking at the ominous cauldron of Wolfsbane potion on my coffee table.

_Even if, somehow, for whatever make-believe reason, she's attracted to me, she has no idea what she'd be getting herself into. Even in a hypothetical world where she wasn't my student, pursuing her would be wrong. Violet doesn't need to waste her time or affections on someone like me._


	75. Chapter 75

**Before we get started, I feel as if I owe you all an explanation. Y'know, because this update took way, **_**way**_** too long to come out. Five months is ridiculous, even for me.**

**I'm pretty sure I mentioned this before, but my grandmother passed away earlier this year. It was a difficult loss for my family, and they really needed me. Now, that's depressing enough, but around the same time, I received a couple of really negative messages regarding this particular fic. I'm all for constructive criticism, but **_**destructive**_** criticism is my least favorite thing in the world, especially when it comes to writing, and especially when it comes to this story. It's very close to my heart, and if other messages I've received are any indication, my loyal readers feel the same way.**

**But I digress. I know it sounds silly, but those messages really got me down, enough that it killed my writing muse. However, I've decided that I like fanfiction too much to give it up, and that the readers of this story deserve better than that. That being said, I apologies for the next several chapters. I can already tell they aren't going to be that great. I'm still trying to get back into my groove. However, I hope the next couple of plot twists will help…**

**If you've been reading this story for a while, welcome back! Thank you for returning, and I'll try not to be so lame from now on. If you're reading for the first time, the update delay wouldn't have been a problem, and I'm sorry for this rambling author's note.**

It took us a while to get the meeting set up. Ashley – through means no one wanted to hear about – was able to do some digging around the Department of Magical Transportation, and we were surprised to find that the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room wasn't strictly monitored.

"_I guess they don't expect anyone to, like, commit some sort of crime under Dumbledore's nose,_" Ashley told us. "_That's the vibe I got, anyway. And students aren't allowed to have Floo Powder at school, so it's not like they're going anywhere._"

We practiced a few times; to make sure Sirius could use the Floo Network without tumbling through our fireplace and into Hogwarts castle, with no way to get back. The first attempt ended in horrible failure, but since we – "we" in this case being Remus and myself – had thought to practice the little trick a few times, Sirius only ended up in the library's fire place. After that, he seemed to master the technique pretty quickly.

He sent a message to Harry as soon as we were finished, setting a date for their meeting. We were all anxious to hear about what exactly was happening at Hogwarts, but the Daily Prophet gave us a few hints to feed on while we waited.

The Triwizard Tournament – a magical competition between the three largest magical schools in Europe; Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Scotland, Durmstrang Institute in Russia, and the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic in France. At the end of the eighteenth century, the tournament had been discontinued due to extremely high death tolls.

The whole mess sounded incredibly dangerous, and I couldn't help but wonder why the three schools had suddenly decided to bring back the tradition. The Prophet assured its readers that every possible precaution was being taken to insure the safety of the students, but there were still a handful of editorials expressing concern. I sent one in, myself, but it was not accepted for publication.

Sirius used the fireplace in the library to talk to Harry, so the two of them could have some privacy. Ashley and Aria both wanted to stand by the door and listen in on the conversation, but Penelope and I were able to talk them out of it.

It was late, but no one wanted to go to sleep. Even Nana stayed up with us, though she spent her time muttering under her breath and glaring at Jeff, who was too busy trying to feel Penelope up to notice. Aria was busy with her tarot cards, and was silent except for an occasional, _mm,_ or, _I see…_ Unfortunately, dinner had given me my worst case of heartburn yet, so I was confined to the sofa sipping on a glass of milk while everyone else played some sort of card game.

"Looks like I win this round," Ashley said, sliding the pile of poker chips over to her collection, which was becoming quite large.

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Remus said, sounding a little irritated. "Why do you win?"

"Because all of my cards are red," she explained.

"That's rubbish," Lutie said, pounding her fist on the table. "I had all red cards last time, and I still lost!"

"Yes, but _I_ had the queen of diamonds," said Ashley.

"_I_ have the queen of diamonds," Uncle Jack pointed out. "So shouldn't _I_ win this round?"

"Nope," she said simply, pointing to the plastic tiara on her head. "I'm wearing the crown, and the one wearing the crown gets to make the rules."

"What the hell kind of game is this?" Lutie demanded. "If you're making the rules, you'll just twist them so you win every time!"

Ashley giggled, "That's why this game is so fun!"

"For you, maybe…" Uncle Jack grumbled.

Remus sighed, "I think we should just go back to playing Old Maid…"

"Yes, _please_," Lutie begged. "Anything but this."

Uncle Jack started to gather up the cards, shuffling them a few times before he started dealing. He was about halfway through the stack when we heard the stairs creek. Everyone stood perfectly still – like God himself had hit the _pause_ button – and moments later, Sirius appeared at the bottom of the staircase. Even though he only looked at the floor, I could still make out the distressed look on his face.

"Well, what happened?" I asked, when he didn't offer an explanation right away.

Sirius cleared his throat, "It seems… That Harry has been chosen to participate in the Triwizard Tournament."

Most of us had the same reply. "_What_?"

"Um… and that's bad, right?" Lutie asked.

"There's supposed to be an age requirement," Aria explained. "The Prophet said you had to be seventeen to enter-"

"How?" Remus demanded. "How did Harry manage it? I mean, he's a talented boy, but-"

"He didn't," said Sirius. "Someone put his name in the Goblet of Fire."

"The what?" Lutie asked, looking even more confused.

"It's what they use to select the participants," Uncle Jack said. "Sort of like a drawing."

"Oh," Lutie grumbled. "Silly me."

"But… who would do such a thing?" Penelope asked.

"I've got a few guesses," Sirius said, sitting down next to me on the sofa. He stared into the fireplace, scowling. The way the flames reflected in his eyes made him look quite menacing.

"Who?" Remus inquired. "Who at Hogwarts would-"

"See, that's just it," Sirius cut him off. "_They_ have made their way inside now, thanks to the tournament. You know who the new Headmaster of Durmstrang Institute is, don't you?"

Remus gulped, "Karkaroff."

"Exactly."

Jeff giggled, "Yeah, Iggy! But what does he have to do with-"

"You _know_ him?" Sirius interrupted, both shocked and disgusted.

Jeff nodded, "He's one of my dad's buddies. He was at that party we all went to this summer, remember? He tells the funniest stories-"

"Jeff," I groaned, unable to stop myself from smacking my forehead. "All of your parents' friends are Death Eaters."

"Igor Karkaroff _was_ a Death Eater," Remus confirmed.

Sirius snorted, "Good to know you've got some chums on the other side, Jeffery."

"Hey," Jeff whined. "I didn't know; he always seemed like such a nice guy. Not the greatest fashion sense in the world, but no one's perfect… Except maybe me, of co-"

"At any rate," Remus interjected. "He spent time in Azkaban after the war ended, but he was set free soon after."

"Why?" Penelope asked.

"He named names," Sirius said bitterly. "But if you ask me, that shouldn't have been enough to get him off. Not after what he did."

"What did he do, exactly?" I asked, knowing I probably wouldn't like the answer.

"He tortured muggles."

Sure enough, my stomach did a small turn, causing the burning sensation in my chest to flare for a moment. _Torture_ is such a strong word, one that always made me cringe when I thought about it. I took a few gulps of my milk – which had already grown warm – in an attempt to calm it down. It worked, for the moment.

"And he isn't the only one I'm concerned about," Sirius said. "Barty Crouch is there to oversee the events of the Tournament."

"What's wrong with that?" Ashley asked. "_My_ father's good friends with Barty, and he isn't a Death Eater."

"Didn't he put a lot of Death Eaters in prison?" Uncle Jack questioned. "I don't understand why you're calling his loyalty into-"

"It has nothing to do with his loyalty," Sirius snapped. "It's his methods. Crouch is ruthless; he sent his own son to Azkaban, remember? He's the one who handed me a life sentence, without a second thought!"

_Oh,_ I thought with a gulp. _That explains it…_

Aria sighed, "Sirius-"

"I'm going to bed," Sirius declared, leaving us without another word. He stomped up the stairs, and slammed his door loud enough to snap Nana out of her trance.

The house was unusually quiet for the next several days. As far as I knew, Sirius didn't leave his room. Even when I offered to take him for a walk – he always seemed to like getting out of the house, even if he was confined to his canine body – he refused to leave. Moth assured me that he was eating the food she left for him, but I couldn't help worrying about him.

I was lonely without him – he was great company, after all, and he could always make me laugh – but for some reason, his absence seemed to affect Aria the most. Her good nature evaporated, and even her normally wild hair seemed to have fallen flat. I hadn't realized how close the two of them had become until then…

Without Sirius swaggering about the house during the day, things seemed much quieter. Which was probably why I was so startled when, one morning while I was balancing my checkbook, Penelope burst into the kitchen, looking quite distressed.

"W-what's wrong?" I stammered, trying to catch my breath.

"Nothing…" she said, tugging on a strand of her hair. "I'm sorry if I startled you, I just… I was… Um…"

"Why aren't you at work?" I asked; it seemed as good a place to start as any.

"Parent-teacher conferences," Penelope replied. "Classes aren't being held, so I got the day off."

"I see…"

"Um, could we talk?" she gulped.

"Of course," I said, moving my work aside.

Penelope sighed with relief, taking the seat across from me. Up close, I could see the dark circles starting to form under her eyes. Her face was notably duller, without her usual layer of makeup.

"I didn't know who else I could talk to," she said, sounding quite desperate. "I'm afraid Aria and Ashley would just tease me, and… Well, I feel like I know you a bit better anyway, so…"

"Why not talk to Jeff?" I questioned.

I didn't know it was possible, but somehow her expression grew even more panicked. "I c-can't talk to Jeffery about _this_! He's half the problem!"

"What problem is that, again?" I asked.

"Oh, right…" she said, laughing nervously. "It's just that… Violet, you can't tell anyone else about this!"

"Okay, I won't tell anyone!" I promised, holding my hands up. I found myself getting nervous, as well. What could Penelope possibly be so worked up about? She was normally so calm…

"I…" she trailed off, mumbling something I could hardly hear, let alone understand.

My eyebrows rose, "Hmm?"

"I think I want to have sex with Jeff," she said quickly, her voice jumping about an octave as she admitted it. Her face suddenly resembled a fresh tomato.

Mine probably didn't look much better, as my mind was instantly flooded with unwanted mental images. I already got to see enough of Jeff when he wore miniskirts; this was just too much. "Why are you telling _me_ this?"

"Because," she said. "You… Well, obviously…"

Almost involuntarily, I clutched my pregnant stomach, "I don't pretend to be an expert on the subject, you know. Ashley would probably-"

Penelope shook her head violently, "Like I said, she'd just laugh at me."

I wanted to contradict her, but I knew she was probably right. She had teased me almost relentlessly when she discovered that Remus and I had… er, taken that step. I vaguely recalled a few months ago – had so much time really passed? – when Jeff had mentioned that Penelope wanted to wait until she was married.

"Why all of a sudden?" I asked.

"It isn't so sudden, is it?" she replied. "I mean, we've been together for a while… And he's so sweet, Violet. He always says that he'd wait forever, but… I mean, I can tell he doesn't want to. And I love him, so, _so_ much…"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Um, sure. What is it?"

"Why Jeff?"

She looked confused, "I beg your pardon?"

"Not that there's anything _wrong_ with him," I said, though I couldn't help but think of at least a dozen things that _were_. "But you're so… down to earth, and he's… Himself."

Penelope giggled, "We get that a lot, actually."

"I never would have paired the two of you together," I said honestly. "Not in a million years. Not that I don't think you're a good couple, but… Personally, I don't think I could handle the, um…"

"Cross-dressing?" Penelope finished for me.

I chuckled, "Yeah, that."

"I… I actually like it," she confessed, a new layer of red covering her cheeks. "It's kind of… hot."

"Okay, that's all I need to hear," I said, covering my ears with my hands. I loved Jeff like a brother – or possible a mother, if that's what he would like to call it – but this conversation had already given me enough nightmare fuel for years to come.

"So what do you think I should do?" she pressed. "Should I sleep with him?"

"I can't tell you what to do," I sighed, feeling my face cool down a bit. "But there's no rush; you have plenty of time to think about it."

Penelope nodded, "Can I ask you one more question?"

"Yes, of course."

"What's it like?"

The temperature of my cheeks went right back up.

"It's… nice," I said, scratching the back of my neck. "It kind of hurts at first, honestly, and the feeling takes some getting used to. But once you get past that…"

"It's good?"

"Brilliant."

"Visitors! Visitors!" Moth sang as she danced through the swinging door. "There are visitors for Miss Carroll in the living room!"

"Visitors?" I said curiously. "I'm not expecting anyone…"

Moth giggled, "Violet should go see them; Moth doesn't think Violet will be disappointed!"

"Um, alright…" I said, giving Penelope a farewell nod as I stood up. I felt anxious as I entered the living room; I couldn't think of anyone who would come to see me like this, without any sort of advanced warning. Truth be told, most of the people I associated with lived in my house…

The anxiety melted away when a small head of curly golden hair came tottering towards me.

"Vi-et! Vi-et!"

"Coral!" I shrieked, bending down to scoop the little girl up into my arms. She was bigger than I remembered, but just as cute. It took everything I had not to cry.

"Violet," my father said, rising from his seat on the sofa. I felt Coral nuzzling my neck and – wait, was she _licking_ me? Good grief – stared at him. He looked well, but tired. After a few moments, I noticed that he wasn't looking at my face, but at my stomach.

"I'm going to kill him," he mumbled darkly.

"Dad-"

"I'm going to kill him," he repeated, clearly this time. "How dare-"

"If you're going to be like that, get out," I said, hoping my face was stern enough to make up for the fact that my hands were shaking. I heard Coral whimper when I raised my voice, and tightened my hold on her, almost as if it were a reflex.

"I know it… looks bad," I said, hoping I could appease his anger somehow. "But I'm happy."

He looked confused, "You are?"

I nodded, "I mean, I'm scared, but… I'm happy."

He collapsed back into his seat, "I just… I don't know, I expected to do more with your life."

He might as well have stabbed me in the heart.

"I am doing something with my life," I defended. "I run a successful business, I'm selling potions for Aria's shop downstairs, and I… I'm going to have a family."

Saying it out loud reminded me how heavy my burden was – much heavier than the current bump under my shirt. I had jumped into this, and I would have to see it through to the end.

"Miss you," Coral said, licking my cheek.

I wrinkled my nose, wiping the saliva off of my face with my free hand, "I missed you too, Coral."

"She left me," my father said suddenly. "Mora, I mean."

"What happened?" I asked, sounding more sympathetic than I felt. If it weren't for my current state, I would have been doing cartwheels. I had loathed my stepmother for years. She was like a leach, except she fed on my father's misery. At least, that's how it always seemed to me.

"That little man – the one from Hogwarts – he found us."

_That's right,_ I thought, suddenly remembering his visit. _Coral is a witch._

"At any rate, it looks like your sister has the magic gene," he continued. "Apparently, that's why it's taken her so long to learn to speak properly."

"Hmm? Is that normal for witches?" I asked.

"Only for some," he said. "Apparently, Coral never needed to speak, because she was communicating her needs to us with magic. Like telepathy, except he said it wasn't that, exactly…"

When I thought about it, it made sense. As a baby, Coral almost never cried. Yet, we could always figure out exactly what she needed. When she got a little older, her facial expressions always seemed to convey her desires. Or, so I thought…

"Mora threw a fit when she found out," my father said, though I had already inferred that much. "She said she never wanted to see either of us again."

I wanted to say that I was sorry, but I couldn't bring myself to lie.

"I had a job, working for her father, but that's gone now, obviously," he lamented. "I spent the last of the money in my account trying to get back here. I know we're not exactly on the best of terms, Violet, but…"

"You can stay here," I offered. Part of me – the part that liked to avoid awkward situations – wanted to turn him down. But he _was_ my father, after all. "For as long as you like. As long as you don't give Remus a hard time."

"I'd still like to have a chat with him," he said, his eyes narrowing a bit.

I sighed, "Da-"

"_God bloody fucking damnit!_" an all too familiar voice screamed upstairs. I said a silent prayer in my head, but it did nothing to prevent Sirius appearing at the bottom of the staircase seconds later, with a towel wrapped around his middle and shampoo still in his hair. My father leapt out of his seat. Coral merely looked confused.

"Violet, the water pressure in the shower is still… oh," Sirius said, his face going white as his anger softened.

_Of course, you choose _now_ to come out,_ I thought, gritting my teeth. _Drive us all crazy, make us worry about you for _days_, only to come out now!_

"Sirius," I said. "You can use my shower."

"Uh… right," he said, waving at my father before he retreated up the stairs. "Nice meeting you, sir."

"T-t-that… t-that was…" my father stammered, staring at the empty space Sirius had occupied moments before. "I mean, that was… who I thought it was, right?"

"… Yes," I said weakly.

His shock suddenly turned to rage, and I had to remind myself that he was still under the impression that Sirius Black had killed my mother – his first wife. Thankfully, I had my wand handy, and had it pointed at him just as he was lunging for the steps.

"Stop," I commanded. I could see a flicker of fear in my father's eye; magic was still strange to him. "It's alright, I promise."

"Violet Elise Carroll," he said, in that parenting-voice he almost never used when I was a child. Nevertheless, it still made me feel about four inches tall. "You had better explain yourself, _right now_."

I took a deep breath, "I guess we've got a lot of catching up to do, huh?"


	76. Chapter 76

Talking to my father was surprisingly easy. Once I began telling the story, the events kept spilling out of my mouth. Everything from the night Pettigrew escaped, to Lupin meeting me at the train station, to the day Sirius moved in, Penelope's "rescue", the Death Eater fiasco… I felt like a tape recorder. Once I'd hit the "play" button, the events of the past several months were played back effortlessly.

It was strange; my father and I had never been particularly close, and I had rarely confided in him. I always felt like my uncle understood me a lot better, and I always went to him when I had a problem.

My father didn't say much. He just listened to me patiently, nodding every once and a while, or asking a question when I used a wizarding term he wasn't familiar with. Coral sat on the floor and played with some of her toys; I wondered if she was listening, or if she even understood what we were talking about. When was it that children started comprehending what it was adults were saying?

"Is it a boy or a girl?" he finally asked.

I was a little surprised; so far, we had been dancing around the baby issue. Somehow, I had a feeling this wouldn't be as easy to discuss with him.

"We don't know yet," I said. "I'm not sure if I'm far enough along to be able to tell, anyway..."

He nodded, "Yes… I suppose that means you haven't been thinking about names, then?"

"I've thought about it a little bit," I said. "But I can't seem to come up with anything I like; I hope Remus has some ideas."

I half expected my father to make some sort of negative remark when I mentioned Remus, and I was both relieved and pleasantly surprised when he didn't. "Have you thought about naming it after one of the characters in your books?" he suggested. "Reading has always been very important to you."

"That's… a good idea," I said, smiling. "Thanks Dad; I'll start looking at-"

I nearly jumped out of my dress when I heard the front door burst open, and the bang was soon followed by my uncle's booming voice. I sighed with relief as soon as I heard it. "Guess whose home!"

"Come on, let's go greet them," I said, touching my father's arm briefly before I waddled off to the foyer. My stomach had swelled quite a bit now; walking was becoming a bit of a chore.

"We got a new account today!" my uncle announced as I entered the foyer. Even Remus was smiling, though his small grin was nothing compared to the one Jack was sporting. "The entire Misuse of Muggle Artifacts division at the Ministry!"

I smiled right back at them, "That's amazing!"

"I'm surprised they haven't joined up with us sooner," he said as he and Remus hung up their coats. "Because of the nature of that department, they receive payment in muggle currency quite often."

"And maybe this will help us pay for some of the baby's expenses," Remus said, leaning over to kiss me on the cheek. I was centimeters away from returning the gesture when his soft blue eyes finally spotted my father, and he jumped back suddenly.

"M-mister Carroll," he stammered, his face suddenly very pale. "This is a… a pleasant surprise!"

"Roland!" Uncle Jack said, happy to see his brother. "Welcome back! You didn't bring… uh, _you know_, with you, eh?"

"No," he said. He was speaking to my uncle, but his eyes didn't leave Remus, not even for a second. When I reached over to grab my lover's hand, I found that he was as stiff as a board. No matter how hard I squeezed, his fingers refused to curl around mine. "No, we're filing for divorce."

Uncle Jack clapped his hands together, "That's wonderful news! I couldn't be happier for you, Roland!"

"Jack," he said. "Could I please have a word with you? Perhaps in the kitchen…"

"Er… of course," Uncle Jack said, his jovial mood suddenly gone. I'm sure he had gotten used to having Remus around; the two were almost friends, even. He had seen my pregnancy develop gradually, and the hump under my dress was nothing new for him. It probably didn't even occur to him that my father would be shocked by the development; my uncle was a kind man, but sometimes his foresight wasn't as good as it could be.

I sighed, "Let's sit down, shall we?"

"Right," he said, allowing me to lead him over to the sofa. We sat there quietly; it was our first big awkward silence. I closed my eyes and tried to hear the conversation happening in the kitchen, but I couldn't. Remus just stared at his shoes.

"I… I feel like a teenager again, somehow," he said after a while, laughing a little; like he was trying to lighten the mood even though he knew the joke wasn't very funny.

Thankfully, Coral stumbled over to us, looking oddly determined. She stared up at Remus for several moments, hardly blinking, like he was the strangest thing she had ever seen.

"You remember Lupin, don't you?" I asked. "He was here for Christmas; he brought you that nice bag of toys."

Coral nodded, "Mhm."

_I wonder if she actually remembers,_ I thought. _Or if she's just saying that._

"It's nice to see you again," Remus said, leaning forward. "You've grown quite a bit since I last saw you."

Coral lifted her arms into the air, looking at him expectantly.

He laughed, "Do you want me to hold you? Is that it?"

She nodded.

"Alright…" he said, hooking his hands under her shoulders and hoisting her up. I wondered if doing so would hurt his back, but he didn't seem bothered as he placed the little girl in his lap. I couldn't help but notice that Remus was smiling; he had always been popular with students at school, but I had no idea how that charisma would extend into the realm of younger children… He seemed to like Coral, and she appeared to like him, at the very least.

"… Hi," she said, waving at me once she was settled in.

I smiled, "Hello there."

"… S'this?" she asked, poking my stomach.

"Ah, well…" I said, struggling to come up with an explanation that would be fit for a toddler. "I am pregnant. Do you know what that means?"

Coral shook her head.

"It means… Well, it means that I'm going to have a baby," I explained. "But it has to grow inside of me for a while."

"You make it sound like a parasite," Sirius said, laughing at my explanation as he rejoined us. Thankfully, this time all of the soap had been rinsed out of his hair and he was fully clothed.

"Patrasite," Coral repeated. I considered correcting her, but a talking Coral was such an exciting prospect that the thought was only fleeting.

"This is your kid sister, I take it?" Sirius asked, eyeing her up, as if she was somehow suspicious. "What'd you say her name was?"

"Coral," I said. "We're only half sisters, of course."

Sirius nodded, "I was just about to say; she looks nothing like you."

"Hi," Coral said, waving at Sirius with a big, goofy grin.

"That's Padfoot," Remus said, pointing to his friend. "Be careful, he's a bad influence."

He laughed at that. "You've always been good with kids, Moony. Remember when Harry was first born? He always got so excited when you'd come over to see him."

"He was fond of you, as well," Remus reminded him.

"Speaking of Harry," he said, in a way that made me wonder if Sirius had brought up his godson on purpose. "I've been meaning to ask you… Would it be alright if I invited him to spend Christmas with us? I know he's been troubled lately, what with that bloody tournament and all. Getting out of that castle might do him some good."

"Of course!" I agreed instantly. Ever since that fateful night in the Shrieking Shack, I hoped I would get to see Harry Potter again, both to thank him _and_ ask him some questions I couldn't answer on my own. "That's a lovely idea, Sirius."

"Perfect," Sirius said, clapping his hands together. "Because I've already invited him. He should be here early Christmas morning."

I sighed, "You're impossible…"

"But it isn't a problem, right?" Remus asked. He sounded… concerned, almost afraid. "You just said that you wouldn't mind if Harry came to see us for Christmas…"

"It's not that I don't want him…" I said, covering my mouth with my hand as I yawned. With sudden outbursts of heartburn, I hadn't been sleeping very well; I couldn't remember the last time I'd slept through the night.

"Think _he_'ll like that?" Sirius asked, nodding towards the kitchen.

"I think that's going to be the least of my father's worries," I said honestly. "I remember how shocking it was for me, when I realized that you weren't the one who murdered my mother…"

"You straightened things out with him, right?" he asked. "He's not going to report me to the muggle authorities, is he?"

I yawned again, "No, I don't think we have to worry about that. If the authorities do show up, muggle or otherwise, we can hide you in the library."

"Are you feeling alright?" Remus asked, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.

I nodded, "Yes, I'm just a bit tired."

"Perhaps you should take a quick nap before dinner," he suggested. "If you think you'd be able to sleep at all, that is."

"My heartburn has been calming down a bit…" I said, considering the idea. The more I thought about it, the heavier my eyelids felt. "Alright, I'll go take a quick nap."

"Nap," Coral mimicked. "Nap."

I giggled, "Do you want to take a nap with me?"

She shook her head, "Nope."

"Alright," I said, ruffling her curly hair as I stood up. "But don't blame me when you're grumpy later."

When I reached the bedroom, I realized that the books had begun to build up again. The end table on each side of the bed was piled high, and so was the desk. I was beginning to think that we might as well just put a bookcase in there; there was probably one in the attic…

"I'll worry about that later…" I yawned, slipping between the unmade sheets. I'd been reading books on pregnancy, and they all stated that sleeping on one's side is the best for the baby, so I curled up facing the window and closed my eyes…

"Hey, Violet," I heard Aria whisper. "Are you sleeping?"

"Yes," I grumbled.

"Then how come you're talking to me?" she asked. Even without looking, I could tell she was surprising laughter.

I opened one of my eyes, "What is it, Ari?"

"I asked Lu-Lu and Sirius where you were. They told me you came up here," she said.

"… And?"

"So scoot over!" she said. "I want to nap too."

"So go nap in your own room…" I grumbled, moving over for her anyway.

"Thank you," she said, taking the spot next to me. "It'll be just like a slumber party, see?"

"I think we're getting a little old for slumber parties," I said.

"That's silly, Vi-Vi," Ashley said, slipping into bed behind me. Had she been there the whole time? If she had, she was being weirdly quiet… for her at least. "You're never too old for slumber parties."

"And we never do anything like this anymore," Aria added. "Y'know, just us girls."

"Yeah," Ashley pouted, hugging me from behind. "When I agreed to move here with you, I thought we'd get to have pillow fights and play spin the bottle all the time."

"Why would the three of us play that game together?" I asked. "Don't you have to kiss the person the bottle lands on?"

"Aww, how sweet!" Jeff's familiar voice screeched. "Lesbians!"

"Jeff!" We all said at once, though I sounded exhausted while Aria and Ashley both sounded fully awake and lighthearted.

"I am deeply saddened by this turn of events, ladies," he said, and when I turned around to look at him, I found him wiping a fake tear from his eye. "I come home to find my three best friends having a slumber party without me."

"Aww, Jeffey, we didn't mean it!" Ashley assured him. "Honest we didn't!"

"You don't need old Jeff anymore," he lamented, leaning on the doorframe. "I see how it is; just because I have a penis, I can't be one of the girls anymore…"

I rolled my eyes, "Jeff, if I invite you in, will you _please_ shut up so I can sleep."

He nodded eagerly, "Mhm!"

"Get over here, then," I said, smiling in spite of myself as Jeff squeezed in next to Ashley, giggling all the while.

"Hey," she said. "Can we talk about boys and-"

"No," I interrupted. "I really need some sleep, guys…"

"Laaaaaaame," Jeff and Ashley pouted. "Hey, stop copying me! Hey!"

"We really should let Vi-Vi sleep," Aria said, reaching over to push my hair behind my ear. "She's got to sleep for two now, after all."

I smiled, "Thanks, Ari…"

I dozed off shortly after that, so I'm not sure how long the three of them stayed with me; I can't imagine Jeff and Ashley sitting still and quiet for too long… Much to my surprise, it was dark when I opened my eyes again, and the three of them were long gone. Instead, Remus sat at the desk, scribbling something on a sheet of parchment.

I sat up a bit, rubbing my eyes. Not surprisingly, my heartburn had returned with a vengeance.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Oh, you're awake," he said, smiling as though he were pleasantly surprised. He pulled the watch out of his pocket and flipped it open, "I have a quarter past nine."

I groaned, flopping back down onto my pillow, "I didn't mean to sleep this late…"

"Ms. McGuff wanted us to wake you for dinner," Remus explained, dimming his oil lamp before he joined me on the bed. Instead of his usual shabby suits, he was wearing a pair of tattered pajamas. As always, he looked tired, but at least he looked comfortable in loose-fitted cotton. "But I know you've been having trouble sleeping, so I told her to let you sleep. There's leftovers for you downstairs if you're hungry."

"Thank you, Remus," I said, slipping out of the sheets. "I was really tired… But now I'm starving."

"No, you wait here," he insisted. "I'll bring it up for you."

"You don't have to-"

"You need to stay off your feet as much as possible," he scolded. "Wait here, I'll bring you something to eat."

"Alright, alright, _professor,_" I quipped, sinking back onto the mattress. It took me a few seconds to realize how cheeky I sounded.

Remus didn't seem to take it to heart. Instead, he laughed as he left the room, promising to give me extra credit if I cleaned my plate.

_He's in a good mood,_ I thought bitterly. It felt contrary, to be frustrated that someone I loved was happy, but at the time all I could think of was the burning feeling in my chest and my aching back and the fact that, no matter what Remus brought for me to eat, it would make my heartburn flare or I would regurgitate it in the morning. Or both.

"I don't understand that part," I said, glaring down at the hump under my nightdress. "I'm supposed to be eating healthy for _you_, but how can either of us get any nutrients of I keep throwing them up?"

I sighed, looking over at the stack of books on my bedside table. I was half way through several of them, but I couldn't bring myself to grab one and dive back in. I was too tired to concentrate. How was it even possible to be that tired after taking a long nap?

_I knew this wasn't going to be a walk in the park, but bloody hell; why does everything have to _hurt_ so much? Women in movies make it look so easy…_

The leftover chicken Remus brought me was still cool in the middle, but I was too hungry to care. Having food in my stomach lifted my mood exponentially, and the cold milk helped sooth my heartburn.

"Thank you," I said as he moved the tray over to the desk. "I feel much better now."

"I hope you can keep it down," he said, switching off the lamp on the desk before joining me on the bed. Now shrouded in darkness, the room suddenly felt cold, but I only had my blanket pulled halfway up before I felt a dip in the mattress and a pair of arms securing themselves around my shoulders. I smiled, leaning into the embrace.

_I don't think I'll ever get tired of this,_ I thought, closing my eyes. _Not in a million years._

I don't remember falling asleep, but I must have, because the next time I opened my eyes, the bedroom was flooded with sunlight, and someone was pounding on my door.

"Violet! Violet!" Jeff's excited voice said. "Are you up? Are you up?"

"I am now!" I growled.

He laughed, pushing the door open. "Lu-Lu was right; you are starting to get grouchy!"

"… What do you want?" I asked, propping myself up on my elbows.

"We've got a surprise for you downstairs," he said. "We were going to wait until you were awake, but you were taking too long."

I looked over at the clock, "It's only eight-thirty."

"But this is _important_," he insisted. "Come on, you can sleep when you're dead! Let's go! Get dressed and come downstairs!"

"Okay, okay!" I said, finally slipping out of bed. "Just give me a second…"

After making myself look as presentable as possible, I allowed Jeff to lead me into the kitchen. His high heels clicked loudly against the hardwood floors, echoing through the unusually quiet boarding house.

Upon our arrival, I found most of the houses inhabitants waiting for us. Only Nana the elusive Stephen were absent.

"… What's going on?" I asked, immediately suspicious.

"We've got something for you!" Penelope said cheerfully, holding out her hand to show me… what appeared to be a Knut, with a piece of string tied around it. The other end of the string was tied around her middle finger.

"What is it?" I asked, wondering what sort of significance this object could possibly hold.

"It's a Knut with a piece of string tied to it," said Uncle Jack.

Sirius snickered, "How many N.E.W.T.s did you say you received, Violet?"

"S-shut up," I said, feeling my cheeks turning red. "I can see that much, but what's it _for_?"

"We're going to use to test to test the gender of the baby," Penelope elaborated.

I blinked, "Uh… how?"

"It's an old wizarding tradition," said Aria. "When a woman is expecting, you hold the coin above her stomach and drop it. If it starts swinging back and forth, it's a boy, and if it goes around in circles, it's a girl."

"You nutters don't really believe that, do you?" Lutie asked, crossing her arms. Despite her contact with the wizarding world, she still had a difficult time accepting magical explanations and practices. However, this time I found myself siding with her; this did seem a bit strange.

"Is that really going to work?" I asked.

"It predicted that I would be a girl," said Aria.

"It predicted I would be a girl, too," Jeff said, beaming.

"There you have it," said Ashley. "Two out of two!"

"It's mostly just for fun," my uncle assured me.

"Please, lie down on the table," Penelope said, and I found myself obeying without question. The way she gave the command was both gentle and forceful; she really was going to make a great teacher.

"Ohh, this is so exciting!" Jeff squealed, clinging to Lutie.

"Let go of me!"

"Shhhh!" Penelope hissed, glaring at them before turning her attention back to me. "Are you ready, Violet?"

"Yeah," I said. "Sure."

I wasn't sure if I believed in the old trick – without casting a spell on the coin, how could it possibly have any fortune telling properties? – but I watched in anticipation as Penelope opened her hand, allowing the Knut to fall freely. In one swift motion, the coin fell, and the string securing it to Penelope's finger snapped in half. My eyes followed the bronze coin as it hit my stomach, rolled onto the floor, and kept going until it hit my father's foot.

No one said anything for what felt like a very long time.

"Well…" Sirius said, clearing his throat and finally ending the silence. "That can't be a good sign."


	77. Chapter 77

It wasn't even a full week after the "coin incident" that I found myself in a cab, on my way to a muggle clinic for a sonogram. I couldn't take it anymore; between the teasing and the worried glances and the awkward silence that ensued every time I walked into the room, I was ready to prove once and for all that the coin trick was silly superstition, and that there was nothing wrong with my baby.

… Of course, I needed to convince myself just as much as I needed to convince my housemates. I wasn't sure if I believed in the coin test, but even if I didn't, I was long past due for a checkup. And admittedly, I _was_ curious about the baby's gender. I was supposed to be due in January. That meant Remus and I had about three months left to decide on a name and complete our collection of "baby things". Knowing for sure what gender the child was going to be would make things a lot easier.

"Are you nervous?" he asked, squeezing my hand gently. My uncle had been kind enough to give him the day off, so he could accompany me to the appointment.

"A little," I said, smiling softly. "Are you?"

"Absolutely petrified," he confessed, but he smiled back at me all the same. "I can't believe we're this far along already."

"I feel like that, too; until I look at myself in the mirror," I said, placing my hands on my stomach. "I'm getting pretty big."

Remus laughed, "There _is_ a little person inside of you."

Seeing him smile like that was comforting. Though he didn't want to admit it, I knew Remus was worried about the baby. He had been worried for a long time. There were very few cases of werewolves reproducing in any records Ashley could find, and none of those records were particularly helpful. I knew he was convinced that his condition would be passed along to the baby; I worried that the coin test had only confirmed that belief.

_We're going to settle it once and for all_, I thought as Remus helped me out of the cab. I had tried to make myself look as presentable as possible, but the only thing I could fit around my stomach was sweat pants and a t-shirt. It was embarrassing; Violet Carroll _never_ left her room in sweat pants. Even during my sixth year, in the midst of my mental breakdown, I had put _some_ effort into my appearance. The logical part of my brain knew that it couldn't be helped, but the more superficial part of my mind continued to criticize my outfit as Remus escorted me inside. Even in one of his shabbier suits, he made me feel grossly underdressed.

_They're not all staring at you,_ I told myself, glancing around the waiting room while Remus signed us in. There were two other couples in the room, and one single woman with her other children. One of the couples was middle aged, flipping through the magazines and looking bored (_they must have done this before, _I thought). The other couple was younger, closer to my age, sat in the corner, holding hands and giggling to themselves. They looked very happy.

The woman who was there on her own sat in the corner, painting her finger nails while her children played on the floor in front of her. They were both very young – too young to be in school, even – and very cute.

I couldn't help but notice that, of the four of us, I was by far the biggest. Up until that moment, I hadn't had anything to compare my pregnancy to, and now that I did, I was concerned. How far along _was_ I?

"Violet," Remus said, pulling my attention back to my own business.

"I'm sorry," I said, smiling nervously as I turned around to face the front desk. "Were you speaking to me?"

"Yes," the secretary said, looking a little irritated as she handed me a clipboard. "Please fill out these forms, and the ultrasound technician will be with you shortly."

"Alright," I said, taking the clipboard and retreating to a sofa on the opposite side of the room. Remus sat down next to me, grinning.

"Doing a bit of snooping?" he asked.

"No…" I mumbled. The forms were simple enough; name, address, phone number, basic medical history. Nothing too exciting. "I was… becoming acquainted with the environment."

"Mhm," he said, winking at me.

"… Shut up," I said, glaring down at the clipboard as I filled out my information.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," I sighed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be cross with you."

"It's alright," he sighed. "I can't imagine this being easy for you."

_He's always so nice to me,_ I thought, scribbling responses in as quickly as possible. _I always knew he was patient, but sometimes I wonder if Remus is a saint…_

I was surprised when we my name was called next. The rest of the couples stared at us with varying levels of contempt as the nurse led us back to the examining room. She told me not to be nervous as she helped me onto the large, padded table and helped me re-adjust my clothing, so that my belly was bare. She offered Remus a place to sit – close enough that he could hold my hand during the procedure, something I was grateful for – and then she set to work, squirting a layer of goo over my stomach.

"How far along are you?" she asked.

"Um… five months?" I said, glancing at Remus for conformation. He shook his head, indicating that he didn't know, either. "Maybe six? We're not really sure…"

She chuckled, "Sometimes it can be hard to tell. We should be able to answer some of your questions after this. Just relax, Miss Carroll."

Using a small device, she spread the goo out across my stomach, and directed our attention to a screen next to the table. The image was black and white, and a bit blurry, but the shapes vaguely resembled a human baby.

"Remus, look…" I said, squeezing his hand softly. I looked over at him, and he pushed some stray hair out of my face. He looked so happy; for a moment I was completely at ease.

"Both of them appear to be healthy," the technician said. "Their heart rates are normal, and they're roughly the same size."

"B-both?" I sputtered. Suddenly, that short tranquil moment seemed like a distant memory. "What do you mean _both_?"

"You mean you didn't know?" she said, her eyes widening with shock. "You're having twins..."

"_What?_"

She laughed nervously, "Uh… surprise?"

"Twins…" Remus mumbled, examining the screen in disbelief. "You're sure? Can you see them with this… machine here?"

"Yes," she said, nodding as she moved the scanning device to the other side of my stomach. "See, here's one…" she moved it again, lower this time, revealing another baby on the screen. "And here's her brother. Oh, shoot; I gave away the sex, didn't I… Er, congratulations!"

"That's alright," Remus assured her. "We wanted to know that much."

She laughed again, "Sorry, you just caught me off guard. Did you _really_ not know you were carrying more than one child?"

"I had no idea…" I said. My stomach was doing back flips. In a way, it was like finding out I was pregnant all over again.

"But… you're, like… huge," she said. "No offense, but most women don't even reach this size until they've hit the last couple of months."

I cleared my throat, trying to keep control… at least until we got home. "This isn't something I have a lot of experience with."

"I suppose this was a good idea after all…" Remus said, running his hand through his hair. "You said they're both healthy? There aren't any… abnormalities?"

The technician nodded, "As far as multiple pregnancies go, you've got the ideal situation. I don't see any foreseeable complications at this point."

_Other than the fact that now I have to push _two_ of those things out of my… Erm, and buy two of everything; if one is a boy and the other is a girl, they won't be able to share much… _

"But I must say, seeing the two of you come in like this really brightened my day," she said, wiping off her equipment before giving me a similar treatment. Even after she tugged my shirt back down, I still felt sticky underneath. "Fathers in these kinds of situations don't usually come to an ultrasound."

"Really?" I questioned. "But most of the women in the waiting room had their husbands with them."

"But…" she trailed off, looking back and forth between us before she continued. "I don't know a more delicate way to put this; being an unwed teenage mother isn't easy, and a lot of families aren't exactly supportive, which makes the situation even more stressful. You're lucky you have a dad who wants to stick by you."

My face reddened; I wasn't sure if it was because I was embarrassed or frustrated. It was probably both. I opened my mouth to correct her, but… nothing. I felt so frazzled, I couldn't think of what to say to her.

Thankfully, Remus had a better handle on this situation. I felt his grip on my hand tighten as he spoke, "I think you've misunderstood. I'm not _her_ father… I'm _the_ father."

"Like… Of the babies?"

"Yes."

"… Oh," she said, her face turning pale. "But you're so ol-… I'll just go sign you out, how about that?"

"That would be lovely," I grumbled.

"You're free to go whenever you're ready!" she said, her sentence running together as she gathered a few things and fled the room.

Neither of us said anything as we left. Remus was in such a hurry to leave that I had to struggle to keep up with him. By the time we reached the waiting room I was already panting. I couldn't wait to be back to my normal weight and size...

I stopped to catch my breath before I continued my chase… and caught another glimpse of the single mother and her two children. They were fighting now, screaming and swinging at each other while their mother tried to separate them.

_That's going to be me, _I thought, watching them with morbid curiosity as one of the girls grabbed her sister's hair, pulling and pulling until the other girl cried.

I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so terrified.

**Hey, it's me again. I'll try not to take up too much of your time; I just have a few things I want to say.**

**First… Chapter Seventy-Seven. Chapter Seventy-friggin'-Seven. Holy crap you guys. I cannot believe how long this story is, especially when I originally planned for it to be thirty chapters, at the very most. I would never have had the courage or enthusiasm to keep going for this long if it weren't for you guys. Seriously. When I first started writing WFtMtR (geez that abbreviation is long), I thought I would be lucky if a few people looked at it. Now, it has over 100,000 hits and most chapters have five or more reviews. I'm not sure what it was I did right, but I couldn't be happier. **

**Recently, someone told me that reading my story has been helping them get through a difficult time, and I couldn't stop myself from tearing up. Knowing that people find your writing entertaining enough to read, especially with the mounds of Harry Potter fan fiction out there, is a fantastic feeling, but having someone tell me that I made a deference in their life – even if it was just a small one – words cannot describe how wonderful that made me feel. **

**To sum up this little rant; thank you, readers, for making me feel like the luckiest fan fic writer in the entire world. And to the person I mentioned before (I hope you know who you are), you are in my thoughts, and I hope things start to look up for you soon. **

**Peace and love,  
Komaki **


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